Music Industry Offering Chance To Turn From Your Evil Downloading Ways

from the nice-try dept

Perhaps realizing that they were risking serious backlash by simply suing random downloaders, the RIAA has announced a new plan: if you admit that you were an evil file sharer and that you have learned from your evil music stealing ways (and, oh yeah, you delete all your music files) they'll offer "amnesty". Of course, the deal doesn't apply to the over 1600 people that they've subpoenaed already. Those folks are still directly in the cross-hairs of the RIAA legal team. So, let's get this straight. For those that the RIAA hasn't yet discovered, they want you to 'fess up (singing a notarized form) and get rid of all your music, and they promise to leave you alone. Who is actually going to sign up for that? I'm sure they'll find a few people (just like SCO found a few companies to pay up for Linux), but I would bet most people will just laugh at this and move on.

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  1. identicon
    LittleW0lf, 5 Sep 2003 @ 12:38pm

    Absurd

    "Forgive me electronic father," a repentent 13-year old states after entering the RIAA's latest electronic confessional, "for I have sinned...I used Kazaa to browse music I was planning on buying, and robbed the RIAA's coffers of money they never would have received if I hadn't been browsing Kazaa."

    The computer responds in a metallic voice, "You are forgiven, my son, now please sign this contract allowing us to search you and your property at any time without reason, and prepare the necessary $100,000 per year service charge for the absolution of your sins. Have a nice day."

    Welcome to the new world, where state no longer exists and the corporations and religion have merged into one powerful organization. I wonder when RIAA will state asking for tithes and demand tokens for entry into heaven?

    "Sorry Lord, but profit margins for tokens for the entry to heaven are too low, apparently due to file downloading. In order to bring up the numbers, we'll have to sue the downloaders and make their lives a miserable hell."

    Oh well...

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