Penis Pump Company Threatens To Report Techdirt To Interpol Because We Wrote About Its Bogus DMCA Demands
from the good-luck-with-that dept
Last summer, our writer Tim Cushing put together something of an omnibus post of stupid DMCA takedown requests, none of which probably deserved their own unique post. One of the individuals he highlighted later went on something of a wacky defamatory crusade against Tim, posting blatantly false information about him, and claiming that Techdirt is actually owned by some telecommunications company I’d never even heard of, that is also a patent troll, or something. But now another entity in that very same post has also decided it’s upset about the post, and has taken a slightly different strategy.
The company in question is Andromedical, makers of the creatively named “Andropenis,” which is (you guessed it) a penis pump. The company appears to do two things aggressively: push a highly questionable “study” claiming its device is effective… and issue questionable takedown demands. Tim was mocking the fact that Andromedical was asking Google to take down results from the competing Bing search engine, but also the fact that it appeared to be promotional images of the product. So, why are we subject to a takedown notice?
BRING ON THE KITCHEN SINK OF LEGAL THREATS!
In what is announced via email as a “DMCA notice,” (and sent to a personal email address of mine, rather than our publicly listed DMCA agent email address) is apparently a combination notice of all sorts of things we didn’t actually do:
I write on behalf of the Legal Department of Andromedical, S.L. Company, as an Intellectual Property abuse report to your company. This email is part of a Counterfeit Notification to INTERPOL and must be considered as an official Cease and Desist, Digital Millenium Copyright Act (DMCA) Notification. We have detected that your website is using our trademark Andropenis® and our copyrighted images without being licensed to do so. It is illegal to use Intellectual Property (IP) without license in your website, whether or not you are selling the actual device associated to our copyrighted properties. Thus, you are infringing the law by using trademarked and copyrighted properties of Andropenis® without license and without IP rights. Please, proceed to delete immediately the following pages and the images in them from your website:
https://www.techdirt.com/articles/20150728/12010131782/all-ways-dmca-takedown-process-can-be-responsibly-used-these-are-none-them.shtml https://i.imgur.com/2SbufcE.png
Yeah, so, first of all, it’s a DMCA notice, which covers copyright and not trademark. The fact that we don’t have a license is meaningless either way. First of all, we can use the ridiculous Andromedical or Andropenis name as much as we want without violating the trademark, because we’re using it in a manner that is clearly descriptive of the product, and not in commerce. It’s also not being used in a manner to confuse consumers or dilute the brand. So, just the fact that it suggests merely mentioning the name without a license is infringing is ludicrous and wrong. You’re doing trademark law badly.
On the copyright question, we did post an image of some of Andromedical’s own promotional images, but in a manner that was clearly fair use. It was part of our news article, explaining Andromedical’s abusive DMCA practices, and as part of showing the kinds of images it was taking down, we showed a few thumbnails of those images. This is obviously fair use, so Andromedical can take its DMCA notice and pump it.
Then we get to the whole “Counterfeit Notice to INTERPOL” — to which I can only say… huh? There’s no counterfeiting. We’re not selling any products in our post — legitimate or counterfeit. We’re just posting a story about the company, which is perfectly legal to do.
Nevertheless, the company insists that if we don’t take down our article, it will follow through with a list of increasingly aggressive/ridiculous tactics:
You have one week after the reception of this email to delete any and all images of Andromedical and/or Andropenis® products, any and all Andromedical and/or Andropenis® trademarks, and any and all Andromedical and/or Andropenis® information and references from your websites. Legal actions against your company will be stopped if these actions are undertaken. If you fail to do so, our Legal Department will:
- Remove your company?s visibility in GOOGLE, Yahoo and/or other search engines, such as Yahoo! or Bing, via DMCA notices. Please find attached to this email the DMCA notice in question. (https://www.google.com/webmasters/tools/dmca-notice?rd=1&pli=1&authuser=1 )
- Block your payment gateways via intellectual property abuse reports to your payment processors, VISA, PAYPAL. (http://usa.visa.com/about-visa/our-business/intellectual-property-rights.jsp?ep=v_sym_ReportBrandAbuse, https://www.paypalobjects.com/webstatic/ua/pdf/US/en_US/infringementreport.pdf)
- Contact your web hosting service to have your website removed, as you are infringing their Terms of Service by using their server space for unlawful purposes.
- Contact INTERPOL, as your company is committing an international crime by trafficking in illicit goods and counterfeiting. (http://www.interpol.int/Crime-areas/Trafficking-in-illicit-goods-and-counterfeiting/Trafficking-in-illicit-goods-and-counterfeiting).
Wait, we’re “committing an international crime by trafficking in illicit goods and counterfeiting” because we posted a story mocking your stupid DMCA takedown requests… and your response is to send an even stupider and more ridiculous takedown demand? Yeah, that’s not very smart. You’re also lying, which may be an issue for you given that the DMCA forbids making false statements in DMCA takedowns.
And, just to be clear: we’re not selling any stupid penis pumps, counterfeit or not. Did you miss that simple fact? I imagine Interpol might wonder why you’re wasting their time making false reports.
Also, note that it tells us we have a week to respond before it will do all of this stuff, but according to the Lumen Database, it has already sent a DMCA to Google falsely claiming that we’re infringing on its copyright.
Next up, the email lists out the various trademarks in different jurisdictions that the company has — all of which is totally meaningless and unimportant because writing about your company is not violating your trademark in any way, shape or form. That’s not how trademark works.
And then the closing:
Andromedical S.L has not signed a valid license contract in this seller?s favor to use the trademarks of Andropenis® or its copyright. The names referred and its images pertain, only and exclusively, to Andromedical S.L.
I have a good faith belief that use of the copyrighted materials described above on the allegedly infringing web pages is not authorized by the copyright owner, its agent, or the law.
I swear, under penalty of perjury, that the information in the notification is accurate and that I am the copyright owner or am authorized to act on behalf of the owner of an exclusive right that is allegedly infringed.
Sincerely,
Eduardo Gomez de Diego
Yeah, that’s great. Except, again, we’re not selling anything, and we’re not violating your trademark or your copyright. Your “good faith belief” is either not in good faith at all, or just wrong. Our use is clearly authorized by the law.
Finally, note that the opening of the email threat said that it was coming from “the Legal Department of Andromedical.” So, that would imply that our friend Eduardo Gomez de Diego is a lawyer, no? So, then, why does he show up as a doctor stumping for an Andropenis penis pump? And the author of the “study” that claims that Andromedical’s penis pump actually “works”?
In summary, I’d argue that Eduardo’s legal claims are about as strong as his scientific and medical claims.
Filed Under: andropenis, censorship, copyright, counterfeit, criticism, dmca, eduardo gomez de diego, fair use, interpol, penis pumps, trademark
Companies: andromedical
Comments on “Penis Pump Company Threatens To Report Techdirt To Interpol Because We Wrote About Its Bogus DMCA Demands”
I'm Shocked! Shocked I say!
As a former Andropenis® customer I can say with certainty that their products are as effective as their lawyering!
Re: I'm Shocked! Shocked I say!
Actually – for those people that actually need them – eg post prostate surgery – these things do actually work and making fun of them is disgraceful since you are effectively laughing at a disability.
However that doesn’t excuse Andromedical’s behaviour here.
Sounds like someone needs to fire their lawyers.
Re: Lawyers
I doubt any real lawyers actually even saw this.
Low hanging fruit but...
it’s almost as if Eduardo is compensating for something…
Re: Low hanging fruit but...
Low hanging fruit but…
it’s almost as if Eduardo is compensating for something…
Isn’t this statement an oxymoron?
Re: Re: Low hanging fruit but...
Seeing as how an oxymoron is two word put together that seem to contradict each other (e.g., “little giant”), I would say, “no.”
Re: Re: Re: Low hanging fruit but...
Seeing as how an oxymoron is two word put together that seem to contradict each other (e.g., “little giant”), I would say, “no.”
I think that SolkeshNaranek wanted to say that if Eduardo’s fruit was low hanging he wouldn’t need to compensate.
Re: Re: Re:2 Low hanging fruit but...
The world’s biggest avocados can still dangle from a tiny tiny branch.
Would you say his claims are a little pumped up?
Re: Re:
They start out big and blustering but quickly become limp and fail to perform.
Re: Re:
Full of hot air.
Re: Re: Re:
But it’s SUPPOSED to create a vacuum!
Re: Re: Re: Re:
Exactly, this thing literally SUCKS!
From a Company that most likely SUCKS!
From a Guy who REALLY SUCKS!at his Job..
Suckers
Re: Re: Re:2 Re:
Re: Re: Re:
Exactly, this thing literally SUCKS!
From a Company that most likely SUCKS!
From a Guy who REALLY SUCKS!at his Job..
No this thing literally PUMPS
From a Company that most likely PUMPS
From a Guy who REALLY PUMPS!at his Job..
Re: Re: Re:
Re:
Full of hot air.
No not hot air KY Jelly
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=moL4MkJ-aLk
Here you go folks.
https://www.amazon.com/s/url=&field-keywords=popcorn
Andromedical wrote:
I would like to nominate Andromedical for funniest comment of the week.
Re: Re:
I second that.
More proof...
… we really need TD popcorn.
Re: More proof...
and apparently patented TD Penis Pumps ™ :p
Re: Re: More proof...
and apparently patented TD Penis Pumps ™ :p
They could name it “Copyright Maximalist”.
Re: Re: Re: More proof...
Troll Tool™ for when you need to Troll Slap™.
Re: More proof...
If a jar of Orville Redenbacher just happens to show up in the deals one day, I’d buy it. I’m running low anyway.
Unfair competition
You’re also lying, which may be an issue for you given that the DMCA forbids making false statements in DMCA takedowns.
No fair trying to get funniest comment of the weak like that, everyone knows that the DMCA is more toothless than a gummy bear, so the idea that blatantly lying in a DMCA notice could ‘be an issue’ is beyond a joke.
I’ve no doubt Techdirt will rise to this challenge.
“In summary, I’d argue that Eduardo’s legal claims are about as strong as his scientific and medical claims.”
He should have probably called a real lawyer and “pumped” him for information before sending a Technology web site that specializes in this very thing, a stupid ass email like that.
Re: Re:
He’s still working on his premature ejaculation cure. I wonder if that’s why his argument is so limp.
I would totally buy a Techdirt branded penis pump. So long as it’s web-enabled.
Re: Re:
The term you’re looking for is IoP.
Re: Re:
I smell tomorrow’s Daily Deal!
Re: Re: Re:
Looks to me like Mr. de Diego has been using his product as a hat.
You fail to recognize that Eduardo Gomez de Diego can be both an attorney and a doctor, otherwise known by the common portmanteau as an “actor”.
If you fail to do so, our Legal Department will:
Remove your company’s visibility in GOOGLE
Good luck with that, geniuses!
Re: Re:
They have a plan: Hack Google, and embed code that changes the type color of any Techdirt references to white. So much for visibility!
Hey, it could work…
Re: Re: Re:
More likely their plan is closer to this…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSGkBWYDmrM
Gosh, was there ever any moment in your (or perhaps anyone’s) life when you would find it necessary to declare, in writing, that TechDirt does not sell penis pumps?
Wondering how boilerplate that email is.
“I swear, under penalty of perjury, that the information in the notification is accurate and…”
Please expand on what would be the consequences for these fraudsters, (that operate their businesses and abuse the legal system the same way the Italian Mafia does), if this moves forward.
I’d guess that your first legal recourse is to file criminal charges against these people that clearly and beyond any reasonable doubt engage in criminal practices.
COMMENT DISCLAIMER: as per Ken White’s advice, and considering the kind of people we’re dealing with here, the following statement is in order:
This comment was written metaphorically speaking, in the hopes there is a special place in hell reserved for he who engages in the malicious practices described and on whom I am entitled to comment, purely as hyperbole, on a matter of public concern under my First Amendment rights to free speech and I petition the Government for redress of grievances.
😀
Re: Re:
Please expand on what would be the consequences for these fraudsters, (that operate their businesses and abuse the legal system the same way the Italian Mafia does), if this moves forward.
That’s easy: None whatsoever.
There’s absolutely no penalty whatsoever for filing fraudulent DMCA claims, so anyone can claim whatever they want without fear of being punished for it.
Re: Re:
Wait a minute.
The law requires:
“A statement that the information in the notification is accurate, and under penalty of perjury, that the complaining party is authorized to act on behalf of the owner of an exclusive right that is allegedly infringed.“
This allows people to weasel out, because the only thing under penalty of perjury is that the own the right. So if they merely own the copyright but the claim is bogus, they can still get in some trouble like paying attorney fees, but not perjury trouble.
But this person uses a different word order:
“I swear, under penalty of perjury, that the information in the notification is accurate and that I am the copyright owner or am authorized to act on behalf of the owner of an exclusive right that is allegedly infringed.“
They are declaring the accuracy of the entire notification under penalty of perjury, not just that they are the owner. I wonder if this could lead anywhere?
"Why aren't you taking us seriously?"
“I write on behalf of the Legal Department of Andromedical, S.L. Company…”
Yours truly,
Biggus Dickus
Seems to me their legal arguments are quite limp… Just saying…
Pure Streisand
Thanks to their bogus DMCA notice they will continue to “pop” up on the web for a long sustained while longer..
LoL, I actually know this company from adult fairs in USA and EU
They mostly make knock off products previously designed by other companies. Like their penis pumps and penis extenders. Nothing to worry about their bothersome blabber, should they end up with a slap on face for duplicating others’ designs and passing them off as their own ingenuity. If you want a decent pump, get a Bathmate from UK. If you want an extender, get a Jes-extender from Netherlands. Andromedicals products are for really under-informed fellas.
Thank you
Having one of those days. Then this story appears. Ah, nothing like a good laugh to brighten up the day.
Serving Suggestion
Before posting an obvious joke — especially a pun — as a comment, scan through those already there.
Does in fact seem like there needs to be some serious legal spanking going on here, but I’d suggest it be done via the FTC.
It’s clear that he’s making deceptive statements to sell a product, which I believe the FTC takes a very dim view of.
And yes I know he’s in Madrid, but thats why you let the ftc deal with it.
Re: Faulty Claims
Though it sounds like he is from Barcelona.
Re: Re: Faulty Claims
Good one!
Virgin territory...
This is a gripping story that penetrates the veil of copyright and trademark law and brings satisfaction to people lusting for more information. A story that inflates the pulsing underbelly of international intrigue and enlarges the knowledge base of all of your breathless readers. A story whose breath and girth can only increase as your opponent tries harder and harder to control your gushing flow of commentary.
Re: Virgin territory... FTFY
..A story whose breath and girth can only increase..
A story ‘on’ whose ‘breadth’ and girth can only increase..
Unless you actually meant ‘breath’ (not mine definitely)
then nevermind..
It makes sense now
So THAT explains it.
No wonder I never saw one of these on a Tech Dirt Daily Deal.
I bet Mike’s search history for the last couple of days is pretty interesting.
The email and notice actually sounds like it was generated by a bot. I say this because of the confusion around the “selling a counterfeit product” claim. Surely no human could be so stupid as to make an obviously bogus demand?
If generated by a bot, said bot could be getting Eduardo into some real legal trouble really really fast…
They Must Be Serious…
They’re threatening to remove Techdirt from BOTH Yahoo!s.
Emphasis mine.
Pinocchio
The reason he wrote that to you is that…ever since he was a made as a little wooden boy, when Eduardo Gomez de Pinocchio tells a lie, his penis grows.
Apparently, his father wasn’t a puppet maker, but rather worked in the forestry industry and was seeking a source of cheap wood. When he’s particularly knotty, then he gets a big spotted dick.
Jimminy Crickets! It’s a whale of a tale.
I can keep this up all day, but imma cease and desist for now. I’m worried I’m gonna get a patent infringement call from Disney. Or trademark…or whatever, yada yada DMCA>
Repeat after me class, “InterPol does not stand for Internet Police.”
No matter how much you wish it did.
Re: Re:
…”InterPol does not stand for Internet Police.”…
Had to google that because I thought of the music act and wondered how they played in this story. TIL.
http://interpolnyc.com/
"Legal Department"
(open scene: board room with dozen people sitting around table)
CEO: “Alright. Someones written something on the internet we don’t like. Have the Legal Department send them a threatening letter!”
SECRETARY: “Who’s our Legal Department?”
(all voice but one) : “1-2-3-NOT IT!”
Eduardo Gomez de Diego: “Huh? …. DAMMIT!”
Oh look another case proving that the DMCA and other laws are being abused because there is no downside to lying.
There needs to be financial penalties for doing these sorts of things.
The amount of bluster involved also shows that this is a bluff, someone hoping that the fear of the law will make people do what they want.
Holding ones self out to be a lawyer should be more of a crime with more penalties.
We have reached a point where the mere mention of copyright is a magic key to get you what you want. You don’t even have to be serious, just invoke the power word and watch the world bow down before you. Even the courts will clear your path and if your target tries to fight back will allow you to run away facing none of the penalties so richly deserved.
(what you expected me to go for the easy penis puns?)
Huh...
Who would have thought that people who make and sell dick-pumps would be, you know, dicks?
Re: Huh...
Overinflated ones at that!
The Android Penis Movment
I believe that the Andropenis legal team are a bunch of Andropenis’
Listen to the Fap fap fap
I think it’s more just plain stupidity than putting any thought into making false claims. Someone probably just Googled andropenis and sent out a boilerplate DMCA notice to every hit. Heck, they probably sent one to themselves too because they’re at the top of the list.
Eduardo needs to quit using the company product so much
there’s no blood left to reach his brain!
In summary, I’d argue that Eduardo’s legal claims are about as strong as his scientific and medical claims.
Don’t you know? Eduardo is the general, the president, the king of the scene!
Could it be that they have realised that if their product pumps the one-eyed trouser snake up then applying it to their heads that it will also increase their intelligence?
This pump is amazing, it clearly also works on vacuous email threats.
Tortious Interference?
Re: Re:
Yep.
You know who really liked Andropenis?
Hitler.
Is this person fucking stupid or something?
Yes I’m being a bit rhetorical.
Re: Re:
Yes, & somewhat of a hand pumper too, which is doing his device out of a job.
I came here looking for a post in the original article that Interpol has no law enforcement powers whatsoever, and is only an international police liaison agency… and I’ve left disappointed.
For those of you that are unaware: Interpol has no law enforcement powers. The only thing they do is facilitate communication between police in different countries.
Interpol cannot arrest you. Interpol cannot even investigate you. They’re not some transnational FBI. They can’t actually do anything.
So… I GOOGLED penis pump and this site (Techdirt.com) came up as my first result. Now I get here and find out that TECHDIRT DOES NOT SELL PENIS PUMPS?
Well…. Goodbye Techdirt. You suck.
Re: Re:
Now you are going to get a hundred spam emails selling penis pumps, 1/4 asses and blow-up dolls every day until you request to be forgotten.. maybe not. Well, Goodbye.
Design Limit
I tried the pump in question and had trouble with it for about a month and finally realized that I was clearly larger than their design limit allowed for. If Techdirt needs donations for a counter-suit, let us all know where we can donate.
But
Techdirt fell for it. This person is a fricking genius. I’m sure some of the Techdirt posters could use this product, judging by some of the tiny thoughts I see posted here occasionaly. FREE Advertising??
But, lets discus the bigger issue here.. The Streisand Effect is not costing Andropenis a cent making itself out to be (of course) larger than life. Well, not costing anything yet!
He DMCA'd himself now
I noticed today than He took out his own YouTube channel
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TSaId-PBj4
It's also worth noting...
Interpol is not a government agency any more than the Better Business Bureau is. It’s an NGO that exists to promote international cooperation between the law enforcement agencies of governments, purely on a voluntary basis.
It’s not the police.
“I write on behalf of the Legal Department of Andromedical, S.L. Company, as an Intellectual Property abuse report to your company. This email is part of a Counterfeit Notification to INTERPOL and must be considered as an official Cease and Desist, Digital Millenium Copyright Act (DMCA) Notification…”
Fucking Geigner, always trying to be funny.
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