Reputation Management Bro Destroys His, And His Client's, Reputation With Threatening Phone Calls To Defense Lawyers

from the 'I'll-kill-us-both-or-die-trying!' dept

I have to assume the so-called “reputation management” business is working for someone, but so far all we have to go on are the spectacular flaming wreckage left behind by fools who insist on punching above their weight.

Late in 2012, Florida attorney Gary Ostrow ostentatiously announced he was now willing to represent as many criminally-charged celebrities as would have him. Shortly thereafter, he was mocked by other attorneys who were far less narcissistic or needy.

Months passed and Ostrow was forgotten, as the world does not suffer from a lack of litigation-related stupidity. Unfortunately, it appears Ostrow refused to quit picking at the scab covering his self-inflicted Google wound. Unless Patrick Zarrelli is performing some pro bono work, Ostrow hired this motormouth to clean up his search results. (From Zarrelli’s Twitter profile.)

What persuaded Ostrow to hire Zarrelli cannot easily be determined by examining his reputation management “firm’s” website. Despite claiming to be for businesses which “only accept the best,” the company claims to offer “management plans… renowned for their well roundness, effectiveness, and tech savvy,” custom-fit rep management solutions for “just about any budget even for charity’s and start-ups,” and — to ensure it’s not duped by botnets — a free quote with a captcha that requires potential customers to prove “Your a human.”

(Zarrelli — despite his extensive, unproven background in web design, SEO wizardry and reputation management — still seems to find the subtle differences between “your” and “you’re” have eluded his otherwise pristine business acumen. [Also “to/too,” “hear/here” and pretty much every other homonym he banged out on his keyboard during his Facebook ranting/Twitter self-emasculation.)

On top of that, his rep management skills skillz seem to include the creation of fake positive reviews.

Combative management takes steps to fight back against poor reviews by flooding the internet with positive reviews of your company. Even though negative statements cannot be erased, we can make them almost impossible to find, buried under glowing positivity and reviews that will bring customers flocking to you. We’ll push those negative results straight from the first page of search results into places that no one will ever look.

This is Gary Ostrow’s savior.

YOU’LL FULLY BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT.

Apparently believing himself to be the first person to walk the internet, Zarrelli began calling up lawyers who had written pieces critical of Ostrow’s celebrity legal services and making a bunch of vague, but completely stupid threats. The first person he called was New York defense attorney Scott Greenfield, who — like everyone else he contacted — knows his way around the First Amendment and bogus threats.

When Zarrelli called and launched into his pitch of his mad internet skillz and how I would have to take down posts about Ostrow or face his wrath, a bar discipline complaint, I told him to “go for it, asswipe.” My tolerance for stupid is limited these days.

Zarrelli is nothing if not persistent. Unwilling to take “go for it, asswipe” for an answer, he called up other lawyers who had written about Ostrow — again, lawyers who also had limited tolerance for idiots and idiotic threats.

Apparently, after I hung up on him, he called Dan Hull (who called to share his fun trolling this kid, who informed Hull that he was going to destroy his firm) and Mark Bennett, threatening him as well with a grievance if he didn’t succumb to Zarrelli’s overwhelming power.

Greenfield has the recording of Zarrelli’s long-winded threats posted to his site. It’s definitely worth a listen, especially as he claims his websites have “25 million views” and name-drops relatives like anyone cares. (Also, “my family is riddled with high-end lawyers.” [?])

Bennett, however, was First to Post.

Well, actually second. In a breather between threatening phone calls, Zarrelli took to Facebook to air his complaints to a more receptive audience. The full thing is worth a read, but here are some of the better bits.

Never encountered such a rude, unethical shady bunch of attorneys in my life. These guys literally wrote a negative article about a colleagues press release, just so they could tag in an arrest from his past to it, in an attempt to enter his search results and steal his business.

[…]

The thing that’s interesting about attorneys like this, is that they think they understand the internet and its laws, even though what they actually know about the internet could fit into a thimble. The truth is they were out of law school before the internet was even invented!

[…]

[I[n the real world they have a better understand of our complex laws and can use that to their advantage to bully people.

However on the internet, this means absolutely nothing, since the internet essentially is governed by no one. Moreover the internet is one of the most well documented places on the planet, and if you know how to read the code you can track and map out anything.

The internet’s innate ability to thoroughly document stuff is coming back to bite Zarrelli. He’s nuked his Facebook post, but it has been archived and screenshotted. His threatening phone calls have been posted to a blog with a high page rank, as well as Soundcloud. Everything is indeed well-documented — something Zarrelli clearly overlooked when “engaging” others on behalf of his client.

Anyway, Mark Bennett took to his blog to detail his “discussion” with Zarrelli. His words were no kinder than Greenfield’s.

I don’t play well with extortionists, so I told Zarrelli to go ahead and file his grievance. I may have dropped an f-bomb or two—Gary, don’t you hate it when people threaten to do stupid things instead of just doing them? I know I do.

Anyway, Gary, I thought you’d like to know that some stupid asshole calling himself Patrick Zarrelli is going around trying to fuck up your reputation while claiming to be your agent. Despite the judgment errors in your past (which are legion—we all make mistakes), I doubt that you are dumb enough to hire this Zarrelli character to try to push me around.

Zarrelli also called attorney Brian Tannebaum, offering up the same litany of vague threats and stupidity. Then, he briefly engaged with his critics on Twitter, offering more threats, some half-hearted braggadocio and — finally — something that sounded like a playground bully suddenly realizing his supposed victims aren’t actually scared of him.

to late millions have seen it im suing you tomorrow. your a bad lawyer and person. leave me alone!!!!

Bennett has also published a follow-up post that’s going to do little to change Bennett’s reputation as a “bad person” who should just leave the person who picked the fight “alone.”

You are not a “professional.” You are a born loser trying to muddle by, a socially retarded 36-year-old man-child with a string of failures who is still trying to figure out why the world has stopped handing things to him on a silver platter.

A professional in the reputation management business might have performed a little due diligence before threatening lawyers who a) know the law and b) are used to being threatened by stupid people. Someone who claims to know the SEO world inside and out might have realized attacking influential blogs and websites is about the worst thing you can do for a client’s “reputation.”

Greenfield wrote a blog post about you this morning. One post. The only time he has mentioned your name. He published two hours ago. When I google your name—just “Patrick Zarrelli” —Greenfield’s posts comes up in the #5 slot, after your carefully cultivated social-media pages. When I google “Patrick Zarrelli reputation management” it’s the first hit. Nobody had to do any SEO to make that happen; I hadn’t linked to it until just now.

It’s just Scott’s blog, which Google absolutely loves.

Scott’s blog has Google Pagerank 6. You do not have anything that compares. His post about you will be at the top of Google search results by the end of the day, and it will stay there for as long as you want to keep playing.

Zarrelli is finished in the reputation management business. I wouldn’t shed any tears, though. He clearly didn’t belong in it. Ostrow’s reputation has also taken another hit, despite (presumably) paying Zarrelli to patch it up. Instead of helping his client, Zarrelli burned both of their reputations to the ground with a few short phone calls and utilized the power of social media to salt the earth. Well done, Mr. Zarrelli. Time to switch to Career Path B.

Filed Under: gary ostrow, lawyers, mark bennett, patrick zarrelli, reputation management, scott greenfield, threats
Companies: dependable website management