Red Bull Disputes Old Ox Brewery Trademarked Logo/Name Because, Seriously, An Ox Is Just A Castrated Bull
from the redballs dept
You talk enough about the intersection of trademark and alcohol, and you end up discussing a whole lot of stupid. Between breweries going after breweries, Star Wars going after breweries, and even the whole damned MPAA going after breweries, and almost always for the silliest reasons, you have to wonder who could possibly come by and really knock the petty trademark thing out of the park, right?
Oh, hi there, Red Bull! Thanks for coming along and turning trademark into a giant joke about testicles!
Red Bull has filed a complaint with the United States Patent and Trademark Office against a small brewery in Virginia called Old Ox Brewery for the using a male cow in its name and logo. “An ‘ox’ and a ‘bull’ both fall within the same class of ‘bovine’ animals and are virtually indistinguishable to most consumers. In addition, an ox is a castrated bull,” Red Bull said in the lawsuit. “Applicant’s Old Ox marks so much resemble Red Bull so as to cause confusion, mistake or deception among purchasers, users and the public, thereby damaging Red Bull.”
I’ll give Red Bull credit: it takes a giant set of balls to file a straight-faced trademark complaint that in part centers around your competitor’s name’s lack of cajones. Beyond that, this entire thing is monumentally stupid. First, any moron in a hurry is too moronic to know what makes an ox an ox, rather than a bull. After all, these are morons we’re talking about. Morons with shit to do and no time to sit around and even learn how to spell “bovine” nevermind understand what the hell it means.
Oh, and the similarity of the logos? Pffffffft.
See the similarities in the logos? Because if you do, no you don’t, and also shut up. This is pure, unnecessary, downright flabbergasting bullying on the part of Red Bull, which I had thought gives you wings, but apparently might actually give you IQ-point-sucking amoebas in your brain. Fortunately, Old Ox Brewery ain’t buying this red bullshit and has instead posted its letter to Red Bull, in which they essentially kindly ask its adversary to eat a bag of castration-remnants.
“Basically you are holding us hostage with a list of demands that, if agreed to, would severely limit our ability to use our brand. Demands like, never use the color red, silver, or blue; never use red with any bovine term or image; and never produce soft drinks. Do you own the color red? What about fuchsia, scarlet, crimson, or mauve? Are you planting your flag in the color wheel and claiming those shades for Red Bull? Do you claim exclusive rights to all things bovine? Do you plan to herd all heifers, cows, yaks, buffalo, bison, and steer into your intellectual property corral, too?”
Huh, turns out these ox have balls, after all…