Wisconsin Town Sends In The BearCat Tank To Collect Civil Fine From Seventy-Year-Old
from the tanks-for-nothing dept
So, hey, let’s say you’re an old guy in a tiny town in central Wisconsin. Old, like, seventy-five, let’s say, and the tiny town is farm country where you have a twenty-acre plot of good old American heartland. Now, let’s say that the municipality hasn’t appreciated the fact that you’ve kept your tractors out on the land you own and even went so far as to get a judge to level thousands of dollars of fines on you for not putting your toys away, because that’s apparently a thing that can happen. Now let’s say you’ve been ignoring these civil fines for some time. Under those conditions, would you expect this to show up on your lawn?
Marathon County sheriff’s captain Greg Bean declined to answer multiple requests for comment, but told the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel that the large police presence was called in because law enforcement officials expected they would have to seize large equipment.
See, this is our fault. I don’t think any of us realized that SWAT teams moonlight as large-format moving companies. I always thought they were for things involving tactics more complicated than the tactics of getting a tractor onto the hitch of a Mack truck. But, hey, what do I know? I’m sure Mr. Bean isn’t prone to saying super ridiculous stuff or anything. So how about that BearCat?
“I’ve been involved in about five standoff situations where, as soon as the MARV showed up, the person gives up,” Bean told the Journal Sentinel.
I don’t think the fact that the BearCat makes your job super easy to do is the proper justification for its deployment. If it was, why bother with the BearCat? Why not just bring the perp’s mother to the scene and threaten to put a bullet through her head if perp doesn’t give up immediately. Sure, it would be wholly unethical and inappropriate, but I bet Bean could still use the quote above, so all’s good, yes?
This is yet another obvious and gross misuse of tactical and/or military-grade equipment in a haphazard way. Hoeppner owes Stettin, his city of 2500 residents, $80,000 in fines for not keeping his property as clean as the city would like. In other words, he left his tractors out. As a result, he faced down a BearCat and a SWAT team, which then escorted him to the bank where he paid his fines and was escorted back out by SWAT. All of this because the authorities couldn’t be bothered to come up with a creative way to get Hoeppner out of his house.
“I just don’t understand why a dollar and a half of postage on an envelope that I would have had to pick up at the Wausau post office wouldn’t have done the same thing as 24 officers and an armored vehicle,” Hoeppner told the Guardian. “The United States is not supposed to terrorize its hardworking people.”
Good one, sir.