Dumb Criminal Incriminates Dumb Self With Dumb Selfie [UPDATE: Or Not]

from the well-hello-there dept

As pointed out in the comments by Matthew S, this story has now been debunked. Turns out that the drapes in the background were different, and not in her house, as the woman claimed. It appears the photo got on her phone because they had mutual friends on Facebook, and the woman got confused. We apologize for posting this story based on the incorrect info. The original story, crossed out, is below.

So, let’s say you’re a creepy dude, the kind that likes to brazenly break into other people’s homes. Now let’s say that, in addition to being a creepy criminal, you’re also a complete idiot looking to get caught, the kind we’ve covered in the past. How exactly do you find the perfect combination of self-incrimination while maintaining the high level of creepiness you’ve spent so many years cultivating?

Here’s one Denver creep’s attempt to show us the way:

The victim told police she had no idea the man had been inside her home while she was there — until she checked her cellphone the next day. According to police, on Jan. 29 at approximately 9:20 p.m. a woman was putting her children to bed when an unknown man entered her home and used the woman’s cellphone to take a picture of himself.

Yes, apparently a gentlemen who is working entirely too hard on his Breaking Bad cosplay strategies (see video in the link) also decided to break into a house and take absolutely nothing other than a selfie on his victim’s cell phone. Of course, because this is apparently an attempt by the burglar to get himself caught, neighbors recognized him and are working with police to identify the man.

“He doesn’t have glasses when you normally see him walking down the street. Maybe they’re a disguise. I don’t know,” said Gardner. When asked about the facial hair, Gardner replied, “Oh, that’s his, that’s him.”

As of the time of this writing, the man hasn’t yet been caught by police, but one imagines that is simply a matter of time. After all, our dumb criminal went ahead and provided the single thing smarter bad guys work as hard as possible to avoid: a picture of his face. That kind of dedication to getting caught deserves our respect and our applause.

Filed Under: ,

Rate this comment as insightful
Rate this comment as funny
You have rated this comment as insightful
You have rated this comment as funny
Flag this comment as abusive/trolling/spam
You have flagged this comment
The first word has already been claimed
The last word has already been claimed
Insightful Lightbulb icon Funny Laughing icon Abusive/trolling/spam Flag icon Insightful badge Lightbulb icon Funny badge Laughing icon Comments icon

Comments on “Dumb Criminal Incriminates Dumb Self With Dumb Selfie [UPDATE: Or Not]”

Subscribe: RSS Leave a comment
24 Comments
Anonymous Coward says:

mad not dumb

guy sound a few cent short of a dollar, so he will wind up being caught, and go to prison, he sounds like the sort of person that will cope with the strict rules, and when he gets out he’ll do some other mental thing. repeat cycle.

In the US its too hard to deal with the mentally ill, but you lot have enough prisons.

Anonymous Coward says:

Re: mad not dumb

We love our prisons! They suck up all of our extra tax dollars, are full of people who just transport and sell stuff ( no one likes traveling sales men, am I right? ) and they create great profits for big business.

Mental hospitals waste our tax dollars, are full of creepy people and do nothing to help the economy. Clearly we should shut down the mental hospitals and throw those creepy people in prison for as long as possible.

Anonymous Coward says:

Re: Re: Re: mad not dumb

That’s because of where the money is in America. There’s plenty of private prisons in the US, but do you ever hear of private asylums?

A private prison typically rakes in $30,000 a year per prisoner. Plus, laws that get people thrown in prison can be changed to give private prisons more ‘customers’, but such is not the case for an asylum. Private prisons often lobby legislators to have harsher penalties and longer jail time for law breakers.

Violated (profile) says:

Mystery

So what crime would he have committed? From the details I have read here that would be none.

There naturally is the crime of breaking in and entry which includes criminal damage but to open the door and to walk in is not a crime.

You can also ponder trespass but without notices on the borders revoking the public right of access you don’t have that.

The longest possible shot seems to be a general public nuisance law but beyond him being creepy I can’t see this event as much of a nuisance.

So the point here is not that someone can enter your home but what their intentions are doing there. You also can’t outlaw all of human nature like entering the wrong house by mistake, trying to find people or pets, to issue a local warning, or simple being lonely and wanting someone to talk to.

In this case since nothing was stolen, including her beloved cell phone, then it could be a case of someone passing and seeing she left the door open and so proceeded inside to warn her to be more careful. However only a few steps inside he changed his mind and oddly left the intended caution on the phone instead.

So best get used to the idea that if you don’t want strange people wondering through your home then that is what locks and bolts are for when faith alone won’t help you. Strange people naturally have to leave your home and land if you ask them to when it is your property.

John Fenderson (profile) says:

Re: Mystery

“You can also ponder trespass but without notices on the borders revoking the public right of access you don’t have that.”

Not true. He committed trespassing, pure and simple. Further, if he had to actually open a door, even if unlocked, he committed breaking and entering.

You only need notices when there can be reasonable doubt about whether the area is open to the public. Your own private residence presents no such doubt.

Leave a Reply to Anonymous Coward Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published.

Have a Techdirt Account? Sign in now. Want one? Register here

Comment Options:

Make this the or (get credits or sign in to see balance) what's this?

What's this?

Techdirt community members with Techdirt Credits can spotlight a comment as either the "First Word" or "Last Word" on a particular comment thread. Credits can be purchased at the Techdirt Insider Shop »

Follow Techdirt

Techdirt Daily Newsletter

Techdirt Deals
Techdirt Insider Discord
The latest chatter on the Techdirt Insider Discord channel...
Loading...