Upon further reflection on the comforting assertion that:

“23. Stayart has never engaged in a promiscuous lifestyle or other overt sexual activities.”

This makes complete sense really.

That is why there is -NO SUCH THING- as the Bev Stayart Angry Dragon, the Bev Stayart Arabian Goggles, the Bev Stayart Bait N’ Tackle, the Bev Stayart Bear Claw, the Bev Stayart Beef Curtain, the Bev Stayart Blumpy, the Bev Stayart Bronco, the Bev Stayart Brown Bagging It, the Bev Stayart Brown Necktie, the Bev Stayart Brunski, the Bev Stayart Bullwinkle, the Bev Stayart Butter Face, the Bev Stayart Canine Special, the Bev Stayart Carpet Cleaner, the Bev Stayart Chili Dog, the Bev Stayart Chocolate Pizza, the Bev Stayart Cleveland Steamer, the Bev Stayart Cold Lunch, the Bev Stayart Concoction, the Bev Stayart Cop’s Delight, the Bev Stayart Corkscrew, the Bev Stayart Daisy Chain, the Bev Stayart Davey Crockett, the Bev Stayart Dirty Sanchez, the Bev Stayart Dirty Swirly, the Bev Stayart Dog In A Bathtub, the Bev Stayart Donkey Punch, the Bev Stayart DVDA, the Bev Stayart Electric Chair or the Bev Stayart Fish Eye.

Nor is there any Bev Stayart Fish-Hook, the Bev Stayart Fire Island, the Bev Stayart Flaming Amazon, the Bev Stayart Flooding the Cave, the Bev Stayart Flying Camel, the Bev Stayart Flying Dutchman, the Bev Stayart Fountain Of You, the Bev Stayart Fur Ball, the Bev Stayart Gobstopper, the Bev Stayart Golden Shower, the Bev Stayart Greek, the Bev Stayart Ham And Cheese Sandwich, the Bev Stayart High Dive, the Bev Stayart Hindenburg, the Bev Stayart Hogging, the Bev Stayart Hole In One, the Bev Stayart Hotdog In A Hallway, the Bev Stayart Hot Karl, the Bev Stayart Hot Karl Candy Cane, the Bev Stayart Hot Lunch, the Bev Stayart Hummer, the Bev Stayart Indian Cock Burn, the Bev Stayart Jedi Mind Trick, the Bev Stayart Jelly Donut, the Bev Stayart Juanita Special Bean Dip, the Bev Stayart Kennebunkport Surprise, the Bev Stayart Landshark, the Bev Stayart Lorena Bobbit, the Bev Stayart Menthol, the Bev Stayart Mellon Dive, the Bev Stayart Monkey Wrench, the Bev Stayart Mork, the Bev Stayart Moses or Bev Stayart Motorboat that I know of.

And I certainly have never heard of the Bev Stayart Mushy Biscuit, the Bev Stayart New Jersey Meat-Hook, the Bev Stayart New York Style Taco, the Bev Stayart Nixon, the Bev Stayart Oyster, the Bev Stayart Pasadena Mudslide, the Bev Stayart Pattycake, the Bev Stayart Paying the Rent, the Bev Stayart Peanut Butter And Jelly Sandwich, the Bev Stayart Pearl Necklace, the Bev Stayart Pig Roast, the Bev Stayart Pink Glove, the Bev Stayart Pirate’s Treasure, the Bev Stayart Plating, the Bev Stayart Popcorn Trick, the Bev Stayart Purple Mushroom, the Bev Stayart Ram, the Bev Stayart Rear Admiral, the Bev Stayart Red Wings, the Bev Stayart Resuscitation, the Bev Stayart Roddy Piper, the Bev Stayart Rodeo, the Bev Stayart Rose Creeper, the Bev Stayart Rusty Trombone, the Bev Stayart Sandbag, the Bev Stayart Seatbelt, the Bev Stayart Shirley Temple, the Bev Stayart Shocker, the Bev Stayart Shop Vac or Bev Stayart Shrimping.

But mostly it is refreshing and uplifting to know that the Bev Stayart Skiing, the Bev Stayart Slumpbuster, the Bev Stayart Snerd Nurgling, the Bev Stayart Snoodling, the Bev Stayart Snowball, the Bev Stayart Snuff, the Bev Stayart Stingy Nut, the Bev Stayart Sud N’ Fud, the Bev Stayart Surfing, the Bev Stayart Swimmer’s Ear, the Bev Stayart 3-Eyed Turtle, the Bev Stayart Tortoise, the Bev Stayart Tossing Salad, the Bev Stayart Tropical Wind, the Bev Stayart Tuna Melt, the Bev Stayart Twisted Sister, the Bev Stayart Vegetarian Hot Lunch, the Bev Stayart Wake Up Call, the Bev Stayart Walrus, the Bev Stayart Western Grip, the Bev Stayart Westside Glaze, the Bev Stayart Woody Woodpecker and the Bev Stayart Zombie Mask simply do not exist.

Because if overt sexual activities like these did in fact exist, I’m sure a Google, Yahoo or perhaps even a Bing search would find references to such abominations.

Whew! I’m sure glad that’ll never happen. I would be very, very dissapointed in Bev.

Wouldn’t you?

.