The Next Gender Battle: Get That Laptop Out Of Bed

from the gotta-bicker-over-something dept

It used to be a battle over whether or not televisions belonged in the bedroom, but apparently, the bigger question nowadays is whether or not laptops belong there as well. While this article is a bit jokey, it probably touches on a nerve for a lot of couples — with men wanting to bring their laptops into bed before going to sleep to check email/sports scores/stocks/etc., and women preferring the guys leave the laptops outside the bedroom. At least that’s how the article (written by a woman) is positioned — and it probably resonates with a lot of couples. However, the article does seem to stretch a bit in suggesting that laptop usage in the bedroom is a defense mechanism that’s destroying intimacy among couples. Perhaps all it’s really saying is that some guys need to find women who like to use their laptops in bed too. For many people, a laptop really is their “media portal” into the world — whether it’s communicating with people, being entertained or keeping up on the news. It’s not too surprising that many would prefer to read off the computer screen than pick up a book. Laptop usage, by itself, doesn’t seem like such a problem. It certainly could be a symptom of a relationship problem, but hardly the cause or sole indicator of one.

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Comments on “The Next Gender Battle: Get That Laptop Out Of Bed”

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Sanguine Dream says:

Lost intimacy?

I put this in the same category as kids and video game violence. Violent games may be the thing that takes the kid over the edge and leads to a school shooting but it is usually safe to assume that the kids in question already had problems that took them to that edge.

I’d think twice about taking a laptop to bed. Imagine how intimacy would be affected if it was a latop with a Sony battery.

I know thats a bad joke but I had to.

Anonymous Coward says:

Re: Another Day, Another Article Promoting Gender

I think the original article was by a woman. But anyways …

At least when he’s using it in the bedroom you can be fairly certain he’s not viewing porn. I would think a woman would be more concerned about use of a laptop in private and it’s effect on ‘intimacy’ …

If you’re not getting any, it probably has less to do with a laptop in the bed and more to do with your relationship …

Red Herring says:

sex in the city

this whole ordeal is obviously a straw man tactic. If you have ever seen Sex in the City then you are familiar with the idea of women with laptops in bed. Men on the other hand are more likely to have a pvr-like device in the bedroom; movies, music, and the internet all in one spot that you dont have to sleep with. Whats gonna be a hot gift this holiday season?

ScytheNoire (profile) says:

the real lesson

i think the real lesson here is not to get married. let’s face it, it’s a lot easier to own your own home and when someone starts doing stuff in bed that you don’t like, or not doing stuff that should be happening, then it’s real simple to say “it’s time for a change.”

marriage, especially in america, is just a contract for women to make sure they get money and free stuff while not having to be a true wife. need to start making marriage contracts where women have to keep up what they started at the start of the relationship. not just use it to entrap a man.

but then i’m a cynic and Leykis listener.

Anonymous Coward says:

Re: the real lesson

dead right about your first sentence. no one will ever keep up that first year frenzy, so best to never marry and just have a succession of first year frenzies. and the real price of all the so called “free stuff” is way too high to make the marriage mistake (again), speaking from the woman’s point of view.

Portia says:


yea, i dont think men should want to take their laptops to bed and i dont think women should moan at their men for wanting to check their emails either.

but all of this relates to people maintaining fake relationships rather than wether technology is killing intimacy. genuine intimacy cannot be rivaled by a couple emails… problems which exist on a foundation level within a relationship will be shaken by gadgets, hobbies or laptops. if two people have an honest and real understanding of one another no techy business can get inbetween them.

if you dont wanna get into bed with your own partner/wife/husband then dont. (but dont blame laptops either!)

Jack says:

Laptops in bed

Definitely need to clarify the reverse is true for women.
I was relutant to put a TV set in the bedroom then cable TV, then a VCR, then a combo VCR+DVD machine. Now with the TV on with either a cable program or DVD movie she is running the laptop as well.
My wife aka software developer uses it to check bus. and personal emails, server status, special projects, research items for informational purposes while in bed or on the couch. This can go on for hours.
I might read a book but usually try to get some sleep. click click click click click click…

real women use laptops says:

embarassed for the writer

I think the writer of this article should be ashamed. Pointing her finger at technology, which a good number of us women have fought to make a place for ourselves in, when clearly this is an issue with her relationship and not a laptop.

If it’s not the laptop in bed it’s some other reason he doesn’t want to deal with her.

Lets face it lady, if your husband would rather spend time with his laptop then you, you’re doing something wrong.

Shay says:

Re: embarassed for the writer

Oh, that’s terrific, real. Make a good start of yourself as a voice for empowered women, but if there are intimacy issues — well, gosh, must be that *she* is doing something wrong. Takes two, sister.

And as a wife — AND a software developer, thank you — I’m inclined to agree that that kind of interactive technology doesn’t belong in the bedroom. If he or I want to catch up on stocks, news, chat, email, etc, then the time and place is in the office or living room before bed. I feel that our bedroom is a place to be interacting with each other.

That said, that’s my lifestyle. There seem to be other folks who make a second living room or den out of their bedroom, and using the computer or playing video games is the norm. Good for them, and good for that gentleman (or lady) who wants to compute from bed.

KIKI says:

Laptops In Bed

There is a time and place for everything… In the Bedroom is not one of the places. Now if we decide to work from home together we still try to stay out of the bedroom and do our work in the living room or dinning room.. The bedroom is our safe haven from everything else it is where we connect..If her relationship is sexless she needs to move on For better or worse sonds like it is worse already!

rita says:

made millions in bed

For around ten years I have been using my laptop next to my bed and I am female. It allowed me to work confortably, without getting tired from sitting, I could work many hours at a time and concentrate on programming and IT stuff. This way I made millions literally in bed with my online businesses. Now I can retire at 30. Hurray to laptops in bed!!
Besides, before I had my first laptop, I put my bed in front of my desk to work on my desktop machine while comfortable in bed. I don’t like sitting at desks, might be from all the years in school, it’s too tiring, results in bad posture and backpain.

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