Bye Bye Webvan Delivery Guy
from the singing-songs dept
Lynn Schneider wrote in to tell us she wrote a song for the loss of Webvan. Not normally the type of thing I’d post, but it’s pretty well done. It’s to the tune of Don McLean’s American Pie. Anyway, how many dead dot coms had a song written for them? She claims she wrote it in “a fit of inspiration last week”. That’s one odd inspiration. Anyway, click the “read more” or “comments” link below to read all the lyrics.
"Bye-Bye Webvan Delivery Guy" (sung to the tune of Don McLean?s "American Pie") Not so long ago I can still remember How my shopping used to make me smile. And I know if I had the chance I'd order groceries in advance And maybe have some free time For a while. But dot-com downturns made me shiver With every order they'd deliver. Bad news on my doorstep I couldn't take one more step. I can't remember if I cried When I read about the split, 1 for 25. It really touched me deep inside The day this dot-com died. So bye, bye Webvan Delivery Guy I'd drive my Chevy to the Safeway But my gas tank is dry The good 'ol days of e-commerce have died And this will be the day that I sigh, "Bye bye, Webvan, bye bye." Did you write the screens I loved? Did you have faith the stock would go up? If the VCs told you so... Did you believe you were on a roll And that only expansion could save your soul? Now you know, ya shoulda grown real slow HomeGrocer, you acquired them And after that, you were in a jam. You dropped Atlanta, Dallas, and Sacto And you did it so matter-of-fact, oh! I was a stressed-out mom of two small ones With an aching back and no time for fun Now once again, I'm on the run Today my Webvan died. Now I'm singing (Chorus) For months and months I shopped online The convenience, it was just divine But that's not how it used to be. When I dragged my kids to the store each week They would run around, break things, and shriek And then suddenly, they would need to pee. Oh, but when my Webvan came around It was the best thing I had found! The rolls were never burned And if they were, they could be returned. And while my screen flickered in the dark The next day, I took the kids to the park. Now I sing dirges to my shopping cart Because my Webvan died. Now I'm singing (Chorus) Helter skelter in a summer swelter The stock was falling, there was no tax shelter Six small cents and falling faaaaaaasssst. Employees landed on their ass Decision made, it had come to pass With the CEO on the sidelines Laying them off en-masse. The dot-com air was sweet perfume Now it's only gloom and doom We all logged-on to shop Who thought the bottom would drop? Oh and as the players tried the take the field The loss in profit would not yield Now we all know what was revealed The day the dot-com died. We started singing (Chorus) Oh, there it was, all in one place Chicken, stamps, and powdered mace In no time, you could make your list. Jack was nimble, Jack was quick His palm pilot thing, it went beep-click Technology is a Mommy's best-est friend. Oh, and as I read that last web page My hands were clenched in fists of rage No Angel funded well Could break this downturn spell. And as the vans drove away into the night To be sold off, their final plight I heard the Safeway clerks laughing with delight The day that Webvan died. They were singing (Chorus) I met another Mom who sang the blues And I asked her for some happy news But she just shrugged and walked away. I logged on to the sacred store Where I made my lists two years before But the screen there said the website Went away. And in the stores, the children screamed Begging, pleading, making a scene Moms once again were stressing. That Webvan sure was a blessing. And the investors I admired the most The VC, Angel, and silent host They caught the Caltrain for the coast The day that Webvan died. They were singing Bye, bye Webvan Delivery Guy I?d drive my Beemer to the Safeway But my gas tank is dry The good 'ol days of e-commerce have died And this will be the day that I cry, "Bye bye, profits, bye bye."
