I am actually a student in Media Studies @ the Annenberg School @ the University of PA. I read her blog out of curiousity. I knew if I was going to write something about a subject, I would actually have to do some research.
I have also worked at record companies and radio stations, so I do have some idea of how these things work. Yes, I also know famous people but, at the end of the day, who gives a shit? Seriously. I don't randomly attack her by trolling her Twitter account. I was actually interested in her as a person so I read her blog, and once I read her blog, I realized she was nothing more than a name-dropper. The shameless art of self-promotion has seem to become the "shameless art of (becoming) self-important."
Jealous? Yes, okay I'm jealous. I'm jealous that I have to borrow $200K to produce my own album (while putting up 80K of my own money). Yes I'm jealous that when I do travel, I have to sleep on people's floors. Yes, you got me, I'm also jealous that I have to people cook for me and pass the hat to pay people that I recruited to travel with me. You've tagged me. I've got nothing better to do than think about biting the hand that, contrary to her ramblings, has fed me. Musicians "cry poor" all the time. Sometimes it's true and sometimes it's not.
I honestly do not/will not get AFP. Media whore? Attention whore? I think she wants to be a "celebrity by association." Look at her blog & tweets. Neil Gaiman. Margaret Cho. Trent Reznor. Perry Ferrel. Tori Amos (more on this one later). Maybe she's hoping for a Google "ripple effect" with people searching for info on the above mentioned people and having her name coming up in association.
If you read one of her recent interviews, she closes with "I love Neil Gaiman." If I recall correctly, she was "in love" last year but she didn't close an interview with "I love Joe the Plumber!." I guess he couldn't advance her career the way an association with someone like Neil Gaiman could.
Around SXSW, she gushed about how "Tori Amos wanted to meet her." She even joked about the both of them entering a room with one piano and only one of them coming out. She neglected to mention that at that time she was probably entering her relationship with Gaiman, one of Amos' closest friends. I seriously doubt AFP was even a blip on Amos' radar screen prior to this. I kind of wonder how Amos feels about her. I guess when they do a co-benefit for RAINN, then we'll know.
She seems to like to present herself as one of "us girls." The disenfranchised. The unheard. The rape victims. The aborters. She was "in love" at this time last year and blogged about it. She was SO busy being "in love" and "having sex" that she forgot to take out her menstrual sponge. Then she delighted her readers with tales of how "long" her vagina is. Most recently, it was the tale of her kidney infection and she chided her readers to "always pee after sex." Maybe next time her PSA will tell us to "wipe from front to back" as well. There was also the lovely story of the cold sore in her nose. I can't figure out if she has diarrhea of the mind, mouth, or fingers. TMI. AFP, these tales of your bodily woes don't make you look like a normal, everyday female artiste, they make you look gross and skeevy.
I don't, for the life of me, know what she wants from her record company. Does she REALLY want to be dropped? Honestly, if I wanted to be dropped, I would lie as low as possible, go away, and write the best fucking music of my career. "Fans? I don't have no stinking fans! Web presence? I don't have any stinking web presence!"
Instead she does the opposite. You want your record company to drop you, but you go on & on about how many people follow you on Twitter. I'm willing to bet that she gained anywhere from 3-5K of these followers after she announced her relationship with Neil Gaiman. Poor Neil, the man old enough to be her father, is probably just another stepping stone in her quest for fame and "world domination." She pathetically follows Neil's kids on Twitter and but it doesn't appear that they Tweet her. They're probably embarrassed by her ridiculous "artistic" behaviour.
Look at her blog and you'll find an oh-so-lovely picture of her deep-throating a glass dildo that she sold on auction for $570. Wait 'til the mean girls at Maddy Gaiman's school download that & post it around her school. Poor girl will probably have to switch schools.
Which brings us to another point---the rent party, auction, and t-shirt sale. Okay, supposing she financed her tour. We all know that she did it as cheaply as possible---passing the hat to pay the Danger Ensemble, staying at peoples' houses and having them cook for her. I thought the #1 rule of business is "pay yourself first." She got done with her tour and she had to have a rent party to pay her rent. Yeah, I'd have a lot of faith in her as an artist if you announced that you were unable to pay your rent. She said her album sold 30K and estimated there were 200K illegal downloads (where she got these figures, I'll never know). Where were all these people when she was on tour? Did they think that her album sucked that badly? What about merch sales?
Then there's the subject of the auction to raise $. Okay, her fans are willing to pay top $ for her stuff. Why would Roadrunner drop her now? There's obviously a market for her things. Maybe these people will actually buy her next album. She talks about how she's going on some hippy, trippy, Jack Kerouac style trip through Europe with Neil Gaiman. I can picture it now: Amanda, "Neil, we're running low on $. I'm going to go busk in Trafalgar Square." Neil, "Okay dear, just be back in time for dinner at Petrus." I'm so sure Neil's going to be flying Ryanair, travelling by coach, staying in hostels, and eating Pot Noodle. NOT. Does she honestly think her fans are THAT stupid. Travelling with a man who's used to flying First Class is going to slum it with "I can't pay my rent" AFP.
Let's not forget being AFP is a 24 hour fucking job. Those Sharpie "CSI Investigator" eybrows cost money. She's even lower than Kathy Griffin on the D-list. She hasn't even been name checked by Perez Hilton.
Here's an idea, since she's an admitted bisexual, maybe a very public lesbian affair will increase her public profile and her followers on Twitter. She could also have Neil's baby. That's it. Instant celebrity. Poor Neil. Something tells me he's going to end up with a very broken heart.
Her "WKAP" book reminds me of Madonna's "Sex" book. Provocative pics = instant celebrity.
I'm going to go see "The Church" play. They've been fucked over so many times by their record companies but they don't whine and cry and piss and moan about it. Unlike AFP, they're actually good musicians, and, unlike AFP, Steve Kilbey's blog is actually really fucking good. If you're looking for a good read, I strongly suggest Mr. Kilbey's blog.
Oh shit. My bad. I was trying to be kind by comparing her to Tori. It was probably insulting to Tori. How about the "poor man's Katy Perry" or the "poor man's Fiona (I was raped TOO) Apple"? That work better for you?
Amanda Palmer is musically & culturally insignificant. She is the poor man's Tori Amos and will be better remembered as Neil Gaiman's broke-ass gold-digging girlfriend. Good luck getting out of your contract now. I'm sure that the suits @ Roadrunner are salivating @ the thought of "Neil Gaiman written liner notes, lyrics and stories." Hell, maybe he'll even bankroll her next album. No more sleeping on floors for her. It's going to be first class all the way. Poor Neil. He's actually a genuinely nice guy, but he's got to know there's something not quite right about someone who started simulating photos of herself "dead" @ the age of 14. The phrase "bunny boiler" comes to mind.