I was saddedned to hear about the horrible giraffe massacre, and hope that my contribution will provide additional giraffe security and pay your legal bills for those bastards that dared make fun of your precious bestiality sanctuary. I will be cancelling my birthdy party immediately for fear of future bestly incidents. Enclosed please find my utter disgust, a large amoutn of condecension, and fourteen ROFLs to send to the families of those that sacrificed their lives to this horrible, mean event. I truly hope your business does not suffer due to the fact that you take free publicity and spend my hard earned money on lawyers instead of giraffe training classes.
1. She's not paying for the lawyers - incompetent as they are.
2. Worst case, she declares bankruptcy and owes jack.
3. Hunt down her parents and ask them WTF they were on when they NAMED THEIR CHILD, and send me some to smoke after my long day.