Here's the deal. You commit to spending seven hundred dollars of your money on gadgets and geek stuff for yourself. You pay us three hundred dollars. We'll help you stop caring about how you dress, understand basic geek-speak, play Quake, and debug. You'll have an insider's view of geek life, increased shyness, and a great wireless network in your own home. Additional services include which foods can be spilled on your clothes such that they don't need to be washed before re-wearing, essential buzzword detection so you can make it sound like you know what your geek is talking about, and help with Linux installation. Also offered: a primer on XML, SOAP, JSP, and other things he can't believe you didn't know before. We also explain why it's okay to eat leftover pizza for breakfast and will mock your need for brand name clothing. It's a holistic approach to living the true geek life.

Expect a nominal amount for internet access as well...See you online.

Mike has geeked out with tech speak in the valley for too long. His crew of geeks are young, nerdy, and sarcastic. Come geek with us!!!

Okay. You asked for it, you got it. The Geek Girl Services online store is open for business.

If you hadn't figured it out yet, this is a parody site. It is in response to the nice women who created GeekBoyServices.com. While we appreciate your efforts in turning geeks into "Hip Urban Dudes", it occurred to us that we perhaps need fewer hip urban dudes, and a few more cool geek-loving women. Apparently the original site is real. If you're really interested, I'm sure some geek I know would be willing to accompany you to Fry's though. Geeks love trips to Fry's.