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Is Jeftel A Spamming Front?
from the questions,-questions... dept
Earlier this week, we wrote about a new offering from a company named Jeftel for what they claimed to be a P2P mail system that would let individuals send encrypted email directly from PC to PC, without having copies cached on mail servers. The company claimed that this would somehow wipe out spam, though the fine print clearly shows that's only the case if people only used the Jeftel product. In the post, I was a bit skeptical of the claims, but was at least open to the idea that some people might want it. In the comments, however, people started writing slightly odd replies, absolutely praising Jeftel as if it were the answer to all spam problems... something that made no sense. The responses read (as someone else suggested) like people for the company trying to hype it up. A different article on the subject mentioned that the company itself was backed by a mysterious millionaire. Now, we've received an anonymous submission from someone who admits they are a "disgruntled ex-employee" of the company -- but points to a lot of evidence that, rather than being a company trying to get rid of spam, Jeftel might be a front for a spam operation. I have no idea if the claims are true -- but if you follow the leads submitted by whoever this person is, they do raise some questions. In going through the links, there are a few things that could not be easily verified. However, everything that was checkable did agree -- with one exception: the addresses of the two companies do not appear to match exactly. One is listed at 10 Sweet Street, and the other at 11. Also, the fact that this is anonymously submitted, without a way to contact the writer (despite his own suggestions to contact him twice) makes me suspicious as well. Either way, there's enough evidence presented, that it seems worth putting the information out there to see if anyone can provide more background to prove or disprove the allegations. We have not been able to verify enough of the information to stand behind this allegation, but are presenting it so that hopefully others can look into this more thoroughly. You can read the full submission after the jump.
Submitted anonymously:
-------------------------
There has been a lot of talk about a new company called Jeftel. They are not the only ones. It appears that there are a lot of computer related websites referring to this new company owned by a mystery millionaire.
Hopefully, this will shed some light on who the millionaire is and why they wanted it to be kept a secret.
This article claims to be about a company which has developed a system to stop spamming but is in fact owned by the same person who owns one of the countries biggest spammers which has duped a number of British businesses. The people who sign up to these email addresses from Jeftel will then open themselves up to receive spam email from this other company. Please bear with me as I show you the obvious links between these 2 companies and then show you why we know that WWT is a known spammer which has been listed as a spammer at various points by all spamming agencies are has previously had their ISP service terminated for spamming by Pipex. I should point out that I am a disgruntled ex-employee which is why I know all of the company’s secrets but all of the above is true and hopefully the contacts I have listed will help you get the information you need. It really is pretty simple to verify all of this information. If anything needs clarification, let me know via email. (Editor's Note: Despite this point, the submitter did not leave an email address which is a reason to be skeptical.)
Take a quick look at the guardian link above and they look at www.jeftel.com. The thing to note first is that the terms and conditions of Jeftel states:
"3.3 The User by accepting these terms and conditions grants permission for the Company to utilise the processor and bandwidth of the User's computer for the limited purpose of facilitating communication between others within the Jefcom Community."
The above clause basically gives Jeftel the right to send spam to whoever has signed up to the service and given the history of their sister company will undoubtedly do so. This is despite the fact that Jeftel is advertising that it will stop spam and The Guardian article appears to be endorsing this view. In short, it basically means that you are effectively paying 25 pounds and giving your permission to be spammed.
The company referred to in the Guardian advert is Jeftel (Company registration number 04760795) which is owned by Jeffrey C Morris who is also the owner of a company called WWT Media (03839629).
There are a number of other similarities between the two companies. The article refers to Robert Barr as "Robert Barr, head of development at Jeftel". Companies House records show him as having been a director of WWT. (Editor's note: We could not find this info at the Companies House website, but a Google search, does, indeed, suggest that Robert Barr has been, a director of WWT).
BARR, ROBERT ADAM
DIRECTOR
CROW HOUSE FARM
BURTON LEONARD
HARROGATE
NORTH YORKSHIRE
HG3 3SX
Appointed: 13/01/2000
Nationality: BRITISH
Date of Birth: 20/03/1959
Company Appointments: 54
If you check out the whois on the domain name www.jeftel.com you will see that the registrant address is 10 Sweet Street, Leeds which is the same address as WWT and you will see that Andrew Bland is the administrative contact. Andrew Bland is also a director of WWT
Registrant: hakay limited 10 sweet street holbeck leeds ls11 9db UK Domain name: jeftel.com Created on: 2004-02-10 Expires on: 2006-02-10 Administrative contact: andrew bland 10 sweet street holbeck leeds ls11 9db UK +44.1132451460
If you look at the user agreement on https://www.jeftel.com/jeftel/shop/tandc.cfm you will see their registered office as 10 Sweet Street.
It should also be noted that both of the properties (the two listed at companies house) are in fact owned by Jeffrey Morris.
In February of this year, Pipex terminated the service of WWT for spamming. They are currently being offered ISP service by Kingston Communications whose Chairman is an old friend of Jeffrey Morris. They were both directors of a company called Minor Planey where Jeffrey Morris was the CEO and David Abrahams is still Chairman.
Over the past few years, WWT Media, previously known as worldwidetender.com have told clients and prospective clients that they have a list of people who have opted in to receive advertisements via email i.e. not spam. However, their list is primarily a list of names they got hold of from the internet and using call centres.
Here are some details of companies who have been duped:
Holdtime – speak to John Sutton
Richard MacNee – PHVC
Andrew Wright – Transforce
I have contact details for these and other people if needed. (Editor's Note: Again, no contact info was given by this submitter, so there is no way to contact the submitter).
If you view google groups and do searches on worldwidetender or worldwidesalesoffice, you will see details of their spams and see details on some other companies they have duped. They claim to be working for British Telecom, Mercedes and Jaguar but this isn't true.
These client is listed above have received multiple complaints from people moaning about receiving spam. They complained to WWT but WWT had the contract written in such a way that nobody could take them to court for this. .
In addition, by sending unsolicited bulk emails, the client has broken the terms and conditions of their ISP. However, until last year, their ISP was First Net (owned by Minor Planet at the time and Jeffrey Morris was a Director and his friend David Abrahams was the Chief Executive). Pipex bought First Net and promptly got rid of them for spamming in February. However, WWT have since been given safe haven to continue spamming by another ISP known as Kingston Communications. David Abrahams is Chairman there too. Abrahams is actually risking the ability of Kingston to operate as an ISP. Kingston Communications is a listed company whose primary shareholder is Hull City Council (and so ultimately the people of Hull). Kingston Telecommunications do have what are termed as netblocks for this company meaning they are being watched for spamming. (Editor's Note: We have not been able to verify any of this)
Kingston's AUP for their customers is as follows as detailed on their website. This is being broken by WWT.
- You must not use Kingston Communications email system to send unsolicited emails, bulk or otherwise.
- You should only send bulk email where the receiver has "opted in" and has the option to "opt out" at any time or it is legitimate advertising material for your own products or services, and the addresses have been obtained in the course of a sale, and that the receiver has not opted out or raised an objection to this.
- Kingston Communications requires all customers who wish to send emails that consist of exactly the same content to more than 100 users, to contact us first to agree an appropriate schedule and to confirm in writing this activity complies with EU legislation and Kingston Acceptable Use Policy.
-------------- End of Submission
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Reader Comments (rss)
(Flattened / Threaded)
jeftel
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Re: jeftel
1)Charging makes this thing look almost like a credible and robust product, and given that there are plenty of people running businesses out there who aren't net-savvy, they might just fall for it, especially if it was backed up by relentless off-line cold-calling and a sales force trained in the right buzzwords.
2)Those T&Cs 'banning' spam actually define spam as "unsolicited email which is sent repetitively (more than five times in a period of 30 days or more)". So you could receive receive unsolicited email, but it isn't "Spam" if it doesn't violate this definition. The terms do state that no user can send more than 200 emails a day without express permission of Jeftel, but I'm sure that WWT as an entirely seperate entity, only sharing the same owner, would get short shrift from Jeftel should it ever dream of making such a request.
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Re: jeftel
Jeffrey Morris the mysterious millionaire who owns both WWT Media and Jeftel, contracted out the collection of email addresses to call centres in India.
The script which was given to the call centres to follow was complete garbage and had the call centres promising that only ever one email would be sent to the recipients involved. This is where the supposed database of 'opt-in' contacts comes from - the recipients (or their receptionists in most cases) were duped into giving out their email addresses.
Jef gave the database manager (who now works for jeftel and is featured on their website as a Data Analyst) a target of 1 Million email addresses and the brief that he didn't care how he got them. The call centres were farming email addresses and using other methods
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Re: jeftel
Jeffrey Morris the mysterious millionaire who owns both WWT Media and Jeftel, contracted out the collection of email addresses to call centres in India.
The script which was given to the call centres to follow was complete garbage and had the call centres promising that only ever one email would be sent to the recipients involved. This is where the supposed database of 'opt-in' contacts comes from - the recipients (or their receptionists in most cases) were duped into giving out their email addresses.
Jef gave the database manager (who now works for jeftel and is featured on their website as a Data Analyst) a target of 1 Million email addresses and the brief that he didn't care how he got them. The call centres were farming email addresses and using other methods to acheive this target.
I really hope that people aren't duped into signing up with Jeftel - you can almost guarantee that the email addresses gathered from Jeftels signup process will end up on WWT's databases.
Sign up at your own risk!!!
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Re: jeftel
http://www.webuser.co.uk/cgi-bin/forums/showflat.pl?Cat=&Board=email&Number=112153&page=0&vie w=collapsed&sb=5&o=93
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Re: jeftel
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Re: jeftel
- anyone from AOL or any other group or ISP that has ever blocked WWT or its affiliates
- any company who has ever used WWT Media for email marketing services
- anyone who has received unsolicited bulk email from WWT Media or its affiliates
Please reply to [email protected]
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a forum for jeftel's users
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Re: jeftel
We were approached by WWT selling their E Mail marketing services. The gentlemen came to visit it us last week and gave us a professional presentation. All seemed genuine with their explanation that they have people constantly calling all these companies and getting permission to send E Mails offering products. The technical side of being able to follow live the result of the E Mail send out was fascinating.
However once we started investigating the background of the company we discovered these forums about Jeftel and WWT and the spamming and the Asian Call centres.....pretty shocking how companies can misrepresent themselves so well.
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Re: jeftel
Brian McGrath
GBM Solutions Ltd.
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Re: jeftel
Shall not be signing up!
Shisters...
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Re: jeftel
The moment you register the amteus software you start receiving spam emails from WWT Media, which I was never made aware of. I only had to wait 6 hours before I received the first one.
When you start to install the software it asks you to make sure your outlook or outlook express is not open...with no explanation. If you read the terms and agreement of the use of the software It leaves the end user totally liable for every eventuallity, including financial liability if your computer infects their server with a virus. The T&C obviously leaves no liability for Amteus.
This company cannot be trusted and I would recommend that no one uses their services. It is definately a front for spamming...I've proved it. Try it out yourself.... if you dare.
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Jeftel rebrand as Amteus ?
Over the last few years I've had to put up a constant campaign of cold calling from numerous businesses connected with Mr Morris, be it Minor Planet, WWT / Worldwide Tender, and now Jeftel / Amteus. From this rebrand, maybe Jeffrey Morris is thinking his name might be a liability, couldn't help but notice that even Minor Planet are distancing themselves from their 'Morris Years' here.
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WWTmedia rebranded as The Media Buzz.
Also they have a habit of claiming customers they don't have. When they say we have customers like...........If you check you will find it is not true.
Oh and the going rate for a e-mail campaign is £0.40 per e-mail. Based on 10,000 emails. A very lucrative profit
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jeftel - WWTmedia rebranded to The Media Buzz
Also they have a habit of claiming customers they don't have. When they say we have customers like...........If you check you will find it is not true.
Oh and the going rate for a e-mail campaign is £0.40 per e-mail. Based on 10,000 emails. A very lucrative profit
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Re: jeftel - WWTmedia rebranded to The Media Buzz
I hated this job, and it made me feel like any soul i had left was crawlign otu of my left ear so all i coudl do to try and make up for it is offer to take people off the mailing lists, i nearly got sacked for this obviously... but the worst bit was when peopel themselves asked to be taken off the list I'd give the name and details to a supervisor who would tell me off, and also we sat next to the people who were responsible for takign the names off of the system. there was a queue of about 10000.
oh yeah, and i met jeffrey morris once i think, and the rest of the directors all look like ex cons.
btw, i was actually promoted from beign a temp because i was gettign the most email addresses, but quit soon after being told what 'really goes on' with the recipients of the emails.
fun days.
hope soem of this has been of interest to someone.
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Re: jeftel - WWTmedia rebranded to The Media Buzz
My advice is to stay away from this company -
Whatever its current name is.
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Re: jeftel - WWTmedia rebranded to The Media Buzz
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Re: jeftel - WWTmedia rebranded to The Media Buzz
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The Media Buzz
My company targets directors of other companies and this is the ideal (and now proven) way to get fast responses.
I think people forget that marketing is marketing, nothing is guaranteed! The weather can change response levels!
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Re: The Media Buzz
and what company are you from Seamus that is doing so well out of the media buzz?
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Employees
Seems some of the employees are as immoral as the owners
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Re: Re: jeftel - ex employee
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amteus
The product did less than a VPN and was entirely proprietary; apart from secure VoIP I couldn't see any merit in the IM/Mail/filesharing aspects of it.
The development team seemed to consist of one manager and three techies (two of whom apparently disappeared a week or so after my interview) and I kept getting calls back from my agent about how they were on the verge of securing a several million dollar contract from something to do with the US Gov't - errrr, the chances of the US Gob't using crypto software developed overseas....? ;)
Things dragged on for a couple of months - the tech director wanted to make me an offer (quite a good one, at the time), but they were 'waiting to secure funding' -- Perhaps fortunately afer most of the development team disappeared (I notice the tech director isn't the guy who interviewed me) my agent called and said they'd frozen recruitment -- seems that these days they're only hiring cold-callers.
The guy in charge of development was a bright bloke with a few good ideas; I'm not sure how rigidly compartmentalised the Morris organisation was - I doubt the techies were directly involved in spamming, but there were other Morris companies in the building...
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I was a long term employee I left the comp well over 2 years ago now, but it was in a desperate shape then, so who knows what depths it will sink too. J Morris is basically an idiot who was lucky once (by backing a good minded businessman) , now he is just what he is.... a clueless fool pumping cash into bad ways to make money...and even doing that badly! Last time I talked to some of the people that still worked their he was doing voip, but still the solution was as poor as ever. Anyway...I came by this page trying to look up some old friends so I shall continue my hunt. J Morris if you read this I would just like to say that you are a total ass and this is why you always fail! you and blind to the fake friends that use or hang on around you just for a wage.....
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AMTEUS
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The media buzz
Andy nicholson is his main dogs body and he is full of crap too.
Do not do business with either firm if you do you will regret it.
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Re: The Media Buzz
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Shock
In training Andy Nicholson actually said: "we have clever tech geeks that are able to get through spam filters etc by wording on the subject line" and at that moment I thought 2 myself well how is that "opt in" and "uk's largest privately owned opt in membership database" that we were told to say in our script ohh and the last pile of bollocks I learned before leaving was....... We are founders of the DMA (direct marketing association) "founders" so dont that mean we make the rules????????????????
Staff were getting sacked left right and centre hence why I left so soon. I only ever seen jeff a few times but heard him more shouting out of his office at someone
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COMPLETE RIP OFF
What they failed to tell us was that that the 12 month interest free credit was subject to credit status and if the company failed credit they had to pay upto 6 months payments in advance. They also did not tell us that there isn’t a ‘cooling off’ period so if the customer cannot pay make the 6 payments in advance they cannot cancel. To get out of the contract the customer has pay a ridiculous amount of money and in some cases they are suing the clients for the full contract amount! I also found out that they lied to the leasing companies about the product so the leasing companies Genesis and Syscap are suing Jeffrey for all the money they have paid out.
They hoodwink new sales staff to hoodwink poor business people. It’s a complete scam. They have regular sales staff meetings in one of the Andy Booth actually tried to motivate us by telling us that if we didn’t get any sales he would have to send his spanking new sports car back. Well I don’t know about anyone else but that didn’t motivate me. Another director Vicky Roberts also drives around in her new Range Rover and the Jeffreys kids in their expense cars. How do they sleep at night.
They have no idea how to manage people and they are just greedy for money getting what they can out the staff and people they con into signing up to their services.
Check the contract there are no guarantees. They buy data and send out an email that says from now on you will receive marketing material and if you don’t want it you have to reply to the email. People have not opted in. They just haven’t opted out. Its not really the same thing is it.
Don’t do business with these crooks and see other blogs on this site for jeftel which was the previous name of the company.
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Re: Shock
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Crooks
But, in terms of being sleazy with customers; the opt out on the e-mails doesn't actually work, it just takes your e-mail address out of the loop for around 3 months, they promise clients that they will get (example) 30,000 e-mail addresses for them and actually get around 10,000, they lie about methods of collection (they even told one prospective client that we run night shifts - who makes calls to other UK numbers during the night to get their e-mail addresses?!), and the most common line used is "we'd just like to take your e-mail address so we can send you an updated newsletter from Jaguar/Porsche/BT etc.".
If anybody questions their morals, the reply is "we've only ever lost one court case and that was only because we turned up on the wrong date"!!! Crooks AND they know it.
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If you look at the media buzz's website, they now make no mention of being "opt-in" email addresses. Their sales guys say it in person though but they've been told not to write it down.
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The chairman is currently attempting to raise money from the city for his Amteus "I'm Jack" product which promises to revolutionise that way schools, parents and pupils communicate with each other within a safe environment. Again, a sound idea in principal. However, the same people are in charge of this "I/m Jack" offering as were in charge of WorldWideTender, WWT Media, The Media Buzz and Amteus with the same idiots running it, developing it, supposedly delivering it. They're definitely trying to sell it but with no success.
Undoubtedly the same problems will occur. Stay clear of The Media Buzz and Im Jack (Amteus) or whatever they want to call it.
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Name & Registered Office:
W W T MEDIA LIMITED
10 SWEET STREET, HOLBECK
LEEDS
YORKSHIRE
LS11 9DB
Company No. 05357491
Status: Dissolved 14/11/2006
Date of Incorporation: 08/02/2005
Country of Origin: United Kingdom
Company Type: Private Limited Company
Nature of Business (SIC(03)):
None Supplied
Accounting Reference Date: 28/02
Last Accounts Made Up To: (NO ACCOUNTS FILED)
Next Accounts Due:
Last Return Made Up To:
Next Return Due:
Previous Names:
Date of change Previous Name
18/05/2005 THE MEDIA BUZZ LIMITED
Branch Details
There are no branches associated with this company.
Oversea Company Info
There are no Oversea Details associated with this company.
Name & Registered Office:
THE MEDIA BUZZ LIMITED
57 CARDIGAN LANE
LEEDS
WEST YORKSHIRE
LS4 2LE
Company No. 03839629
Status: Active
Date of Incorporation: 10/09/1999
Country of Origin: United Kingdom
Company Type: Private Limited Company
Nature of Business (SIC(03)):
7240 - Data base activities
Accounting Reference Date: 30/09
Last Accounts Made Up To: 30/09/2006 (FULL)
Next Accounts Due: 30/07/2008 OVERDUE
Last Return Made Up To: 31/08/2008
Next Return Due: 28/09/2009
Last Members List: 31/08/2008
Previous Names:
Date of change Previous Name
13/01/2000 BEAUTIFULMOVERS LIMITED
15/06/2004 W W T (MEDIA) LIMITED
18/05/2005 WWT MEDIA LIMITED
22/10/2003 WORLDWIDETENDER.COM LIMITED
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Jeffrey resigns
I wonder where the £750,000 that was allegedly raised in December has gone. I imagine that it's not too far out of his clutch!
As another former employee, I agree with most of the previous criticism. Smoke and Mirrors, flash cars, hangers on with low IQs, little substance and a product that never worked.
I feel sorry for all the small firms and one man bands that Jeff never pays. He would scream and shout and not sign cheques on a weekly basis- terrible.
To the new CEO and his mate. Look around fast. Go with your gut instinct and get out.
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So it's finally ended...
I just hope that the schools realise who he is, what he's about and why he's "giving away" products.
Potential buyers beware...
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Wamey
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Double Wamey
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Wamey
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Re:
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Kwercus has Prof Tanya Byron on Payroll, why else would she advertise this rubbish?
If you know anyone in a school, tell them about this. They are a slick looking company with good marketing, but behind the scenes it's another story. Look at the Facebook group for ex-employees of The Media Buzz (sister company and formerly co-located).
If you know a school governer, teacher or member of the PTA, please warn them about Kwercus and don't just believe them because they paid Prof Byron to use her name.
Read the rest of this forum and dig a bit deeper into the other businesses that Morris runs.
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He is at it again
If this deal went through I have a feeling it would possibly lead to a ministerial casualty and one never knows - possible prosecution.
I hear that someone is speaking to the financial press about it and im sure will put pay to this individual, Morris, once and for all.
As the saying goes, If you are no good at something then people tend to compensate for their inefficiencies in other ways - suffice to say Morris is no businessman. I will leave it to you to guess how he compensates for it.
Morris should do what he knows best................................NOTHING!!!!!
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He is at it again
If this deal went through I have a feeling it would possibly lead to a ministerial casualty and one never knows - possible prosecution.
I hear that someone is speaking to the financial press about it and im sure will put pay to this individual, Morris, once and for all.
As the saying goes, If you are no good at something then people tend to compensate for their inefficiencies in other ways - suffice to say Morris is no businessman. I will leave it to you to guess how he compensates for it.
Morris should do what he knows best................................NOTHING!!!!!
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KWERCUS
As I understand it and i have it on good authority that they are just using this meaningless statement to try and pull the wool over prospective investors eyes.
DO NOT INVEST - DO NOT BE FOOLED
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Re: He is at it again
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Re:
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what a joke
Andy Booth was the sales manager and he hasn't got a clue, to be fair he's just intimidated by Morris or realises he couldn't work anywhere else.
Jeffrey Morris is clearly a stupid lttle dick who bullies his workforce via his ridiculous plastic gangster staff.
He even had some daft old soldier(who should know better) telling people he was his bodyguard!
stay away from anything to do with these people.
Oh and Jeffrey, be careful. with a pacemaker you don't need a fright..........
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looks like old jeffs made yet nother pal!
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Double Wamey Campaign
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Looks like it's finally gone pear shaped...
NOTICE
(16)
11/01/2010 7:45am
TEMPORARY SUSPENSION OF TRADING ON AIM
IMJACK PLC
At the request of the company trading on AIM for the under-mentioned securities has been temporarily suspended from 11/01/2010 7:45am pending clarification of the company's financial position.
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IM Jack Double Wamey Scammers
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DOUBLE WAMEY
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DOUBLE WAMEY
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I get bollocked by jeffery everyday. He makes me feel stupid, maybe because i am?? I get paid 30k a year to get slapped about like a whore by jeffery. Who only looks after his own 'jewish' workers. the rest treated like shite.
Jeffery Morris has young people around him, they are so so fooled by his 'brainwashing' ways!! tels them anything to make them sell..many people are educated but caught in a 'dream' that he will make them rich. Hahah what a joke!!
The guy who runs wamey now is Dennis Carr, who owns a bar in manchester. Complete conman, check him out on google, inside track. He tries to get into your head like the demon headmaster, but he is just a working class plasterer who earned a few quid scammin people in property. Jeffery Morris what a wanker, scammer. Dennis is gettin a dose of his own medicine by jeffery..where is your workforce? left because dennis is a conman
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The Gospel
1An account of the genealogy* of Jesus the Messiah,* the son of David, the son of Abraham.
2 Abraham was the father of Isaac, and Isaac the father of Jacob, and Jacob the father of Judah and his brothers, 3and Judah the father of Perez and Zerah by Tamar, and Perez the father of Hezron, and Hezron the father of Aram, 4and Aram the father of Aminadab, and Aminadab the father of Nahshon, and Nahshon the father of Salmon, 5and Salmon the father of Boaz by Rahab, and Boaz the father of Obed by Ruth, and Obed the father of Jesse, 6and Jesse the father of King David.
And David was the father of Solomon by the wife of Uriah, 7and Solomon the father of Rehoboam, and Rehoboam the father of Abijah, and Abijah the father of Asaph,* 8and Asaph* the father of Jehoshaphat, and Jehoshaphat the father of Joram, and Joram the father of Uzziah, 9and Uzziah the father of Jotham, and Jotham the father of Ahaz, and Ahaz the father of Hezekiah, 10and Hezekiah the father of Manasseh, and Manasseh the father of Amos,* and Amos* the father of Josiah, 11and Josiah the father of Jechoniah and his brothers, at the time of the deportation to Babylon.
12 And after the deportation to Babylon: Jechoniah was the father of Salathiel, and Salathiel the father of Zerubbabel, 13and Zerubbabel the father of Abiud, and Abiud the father of Eliakim, and Eliakim the father of Azor, 14and Azor the father of Zadok, and Zadok the father of Achim, and Achim the father of Eliud, 15and Eliud the father of Eleazar, and Eleazar the father of Matthan, and Matthan the father of Jacob, 16and Jacob the father of Joseph the husband of Mary, of whom Jesus was born, who is called the Messiah.*
17 So all the generations from Abraham to David are fourteen generations; and from David to the deportation to Babylon, fourteen generations; and from the deportation to Babylon to the Messiah,* fourteen generations.
The Birth of Jesus the Messiah
18 Now the birth of Jesus the Messiah* took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been engaged to Joseph, but before they lived together, she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. 19Her husband Joseph, being a righteous man and unwilling to expose her to public disgrace, planned to dismiss her quietly. 20But just when he had resolved to do this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, ‘Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. 21She will bear a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.’ 22All this took place to fulfil what had been spoken by the Lord through the prophet:
23‘Look, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son,
and they shall name him Emmanuel’,
which means, ‘God is with us.’ 24When Joseph awoke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him; he took her as his wife, 25but had no marital relations with her until she had borne a son;* and he named him Jesus.
Matthew 2
The Visit of the Wise Men
2In the time of King Herod, after Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea, wise men* from the East came to Jerusalem, 2asking, ‘Where is the child who has been born king of the Jews? For we observed his star at its rising,* and have come to pay him homage.’ 3When King Herod heard this, he was frightened, and all Jerusalem with him; 4and calling together all the chief priests and scribes of the people, he inquired of them where the Messiah* was to be born. 5They told him, ‘In Bethlehem of Judea; for so it has been written by the prophet:
6“And you, Bethlehem, in the land of Judah,
are by no means least among the rulers of Judah;
for from you shall come a ruler
who is to shepherd* my people Israel.†’
7 Then Herod secretly called for the wise men* and learned from them the exact time when the star had appeared. 8Then he sent them to Bethlehem, saying, ‘Go and search diligently for the child; and when you have found him, bring me word so that I may also go and pay him homage.’ 9When they had heard the king, they set out; and there, ahead of them, went the star that they had seen at its rising,* until it stopped over the place where the child was. 10When they saw that the star had stopped,* they were overwhelmed with joy. 11On entering the house, they saw the child with Mary his mother; and they knelt down and paid him homage. Then, opening their treasure-chests, they offered him gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh. 12And having been warned in a dream not to return to Herod, they left for their own country by another road.
The Escape to Egypt
13 Now after they had left, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, ‘Get up, take the child and his mother, and flee to Egypt, and remain there until I tell you; for Herod is about to search for the child, to destroy him.’ 14Then Joseph* got up, took the child and his mother by night, and went to Egypt, 15and remained there until the death of Herod. This was to fulfil what had been spoken by the Lord through the prophet, ‘Out of Egypt I have called my son.’
The Massacre of the Infants
16 When Herod saw that he had been tricked by the wise men,* he was infuriated, and he sent and killed all the children in and around Bethlehem who were two years old or under, according to the time that he had learned from the wise men.* 17Then was fulfilled what had been spoken through the prophet Jeremiah:
18‘A voice was heard in Ramah,
wailing and loud lamentation,
Rachel weeping for her children;
she refused to be consoled, because they are no more.’
The Return from Egypt
19 When Herod died, an angel of the Lord suddenly appeared in a dream to Joseph in Egypt and said, 20‘Get up, take the child and his mother, and go to the land of Israel, for those who were seeking the child’s life are dead.’ 21Then Joseph* got up, took the child and his mother, and went to the land of Israel. 22But when he heard that Archelaus was ruling over Judea in place of his father Herod, he was afraid to go there. And after being warned in a dream, he went away to the district of Galilee. 23There he made his home in a town called Nazareth, so that what had been spoken through the prophets might be fulfilled, ‘He will be called a Nazorean.’
Matthew 3
The Proclamation of John the Baptist
3In those days John the Baptist appeared in the wilderness of Judea, proclaiming, 2‘Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near.’* 3This is the one of whom the prophet Isaiah spoke when he said,
‘The voice of one crying out in the wilderness:
“Prepare the way of the Lord,
make his paths straight.†’
4Now John wore clothing of camel’s hair with a leather belt around his waist, and his food was locusts and wild honey. 5Then the people of Jerusalem and all Judea were going out to him, and all the region along the Jordan, 6and they were baptized by him in the river Jordan, confessing their sins.
7 But when he saw many Pharisees and Sadducees coming for baptism, he said to them, ‘You brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the wrath to come? 8Bear fruit worthy of repentance. 9Do not presume to say to yourselves, “We have Abraham as our ancestorâ€; for I tell you, God is able from these stones to raise up children to Abraham. 10Even now the axe is lying at the root of the trees; every tree therefore that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire.
11 ‘I baptize you with* water for repentance, but one who is more powerful than I is coming after me; I am not worthy to carry his sandals. He will baptize you with* the Holy Spirit and fire. 12His winnowing-fork is in his hand, and he will clear his threshing-floor and will gather his wheat into the granary; but the chaff he will burn with unquenchable fire.’
The Baptism of Jesus
13 Then Jesus came from Galilee to John at the Jordan, to be baptized by him. 14John would have prevented him, saying, ‘I need to be baptized by you, and do you come to me?’ 15But Jesus answered him, ‘Let it be so now; for it is proper for us in this way to fulfil all righteousness.’ Then he consented. 16And when Jesus had been baptized, just as he came up from the water, suddenly the heavens were opened to him and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and alighting on him. 17And a voice from heaven said, ‘This is my Son, the Beloved,* with whom I am well pleased.’
Matthew 4
The Temptation of Jesus
4Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. 2He fasted for forty days and forty nights, and afterwards he was famished. 3The tempter came and said to him, ‘If you are the Son of God, command these stones to become loaves of bread.’ 4But he answered, ‘It is written,
“One does not live by bread alone,
but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.†’
5 Then the devil took him to the holy city and placed him on the pinnacle of the temple, 6saying to him, ‘If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down; for it is written,
“He will command his angels concerning youâ€,
and “On their hands they will bear you up,
so that you will not dash your foot against a stone.†’
7Jesus said to him, ‘Again it is written, “Do not put the Lord your God to the test.†’
8 Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendour; 9and he said to him, ‘All these I will give you, if you will fall down and worship me.’ 10Jesus said to him, ‘Away with you, Satan! for it is written,
“Worship the Lord your God,
and serve only him.†’
11Then the devil left him, and suddenly angels came and waited on him.
Jesus Begins His Ministry in Galilee
12 Now when Jesus* heard that John had been arrested, he withdrew to Galilee. 13He left Nazareth and made his home in Capernaum by the lake, in the territory of Zebulun and Naphtali, 14so that what had been spoken through the prophet Isaiah might be fulfilled:
15‘Land of Zebulun, land of Naphtali,
on the road by the sea, across the Jordan, Galilee of the Gentiles—
16the people who sat in darkness
have seen a great light,
and for those who sat in the region and shadow of death
light has dawned.’
17From that time Jesus began to proclaim, ‘Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near.’*
Jesus Calls the First Disciples
18 As he walked by the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon, who is called Peter, and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the lake—for they were fishermen. 19And he said to them, ‘Follow me, and I will make you fish for people.’ 20Immediately they left their nets and followed him. 21As he went from there, he saw two other brothers, James son of Zebedee and his brother John, in the boat with their father Zebedee, mending their nets, and he called them. 22Immediately they left the boat and their father, and followed him.
Jesus Ministers to Crowds of People
23 Jesus* went throughout Galilee, teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the good news* of the kingdom and curing every disease and every sickness among the people. 24So his fame spread throughout all Syria, and they brought to him all the sick, those who were afflicted with various diseases and pains, demoniacs, epileptics, and paralytics, and he cured them. 25And great crowds followed him from Galilee, the Decapolis, Jerusalem, Judea, and from beyond the Jordan.
Matthew 5
The Beatitudes
5When Jesus* saw the crowds, he went up the mountain; and after he sat down, his disciples came to him. 2Then he began to speak, and taught them, saying:
3 ‘Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4 ‘Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
5 ‘Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
6 ‘Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
7 ‘Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy.
8 ‘Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
9 ‘Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
10 ‘Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11 ‘Blessed are you when people revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely* on my account. 12Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
Salt and Light
13 ‘You are the salt of the earth; but if salt has lost its taste, how can its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything, but is thrown out and trampled under foot.
14 ‘You are the light of the world. A city built on a hill cannot be hidden. 15No one after lighting a lamp puts it under the bushel basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all in the house. 16In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven.
The Law and the Prophets
17 ‘Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets; I have come not to abolish but to fulfil. 18For truly I tell you, until heaven and earth pass away, not one letter,* not one stroke of a letter, will pass from the law until all is accomplished. 19Therefore, whoever breaks* one of the least of these commandments, and teaches others to do the same, will be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever does them and teaches them will be called great in the kingdom of heaven. 20For I tell you, unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.
Concerning Anger
21 ‘You have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, “You shall not murderâ€; and “whoever murders shall be liable to judgement.†22But I say to you that if you are angry with a brother or sister,* you will be liable to judgement; and if you insult* a brother or sister,* you will be liable to the council; and if you say, “You foolâ€, you will be liable to the hell* of fire. 23So when you are offering your gift at the altar, if you remember that your brother or sister* has something against you, 24leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother or sister,* and then come and offer your gift. 25Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are on the way to court* with him, or your accuser may hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you will be thrown into prison. 26Truly I tell you, you will never get out until you have paid the last penny.
Concerning Adultery
27 ‘You have heard that it was said, “You shall not commit adultery.†28But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away; it is better for you to lose one of your members than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.* 30And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away; it is better for you to lose one of your members than for your whole body to go into hell.*
Concerning Divorce
31 ‘It was also said, “Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.†32But I say to you that anyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of unchastity, causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
Concerning Oaths
33 ‘Again, you have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, “You shall not swear falsely, but carry out the vows you have made to the Lord.†34But I say to you, Do not swear at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, 35or by the earth, for it is his footstool, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. 36And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. 37Let your word be “Yes, Yes†or “No, Noâ€; anything more than this comes from the evil one.*
Concerning Retaliation
38 ‘You have heard that it was said, “An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.†39But I say to you, Do not resist an evildoer. But if anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other also; 40and if anyone wants to sue you and take your coat, give your cloak as well; 41and if anyone forces you to go one mile, go also the second mile. 42Give to everyone who begs from you, and do not refuse anyone who wants to borrow from you.
Love for Enemies
43 ‘You have heard that it was said, “You shall love your neighbour and hate your enemy.†44But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45so that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous. 46For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax-collectors do the same? 47And if you greet only your brothers and sisters,* what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? 48Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
Matthew 6
Concerning Almsgiving
6‘Beware of practising your piety before others in order to be seen by them; for then you have no reward from your Father in heaven.
2 ‘So whenever you give alms, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, so that they may be praised by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. 3But when you give alms, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4so that your alms may be done in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.*
Concerning Prayer
5 ‘And whenever you pray, do not be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, so that they may be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. 6But whenever you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.*
7 ‘When you are praying, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do; for they think that they will be heard because of their many words. 8Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.
9 ‘Pray then in this way:
Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name.
10 Your kingdom come.
Your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
11 Give us this day our daily bread.*
12 And forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
13 And do not bring us to the time of trial,*
but rescue us from the evil one.*
14For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; 15but if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
Concerning Fasting
16 ‘And whenever you fast, do not look dismal, like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces so as to show others that they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. 17But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, 18so that your fasting may be seen not by others but by your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.*
Concerning Treasures
19 ‘Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust* consume and where thieves break in and steal; 20but store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust* consumes and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
The Sound Eye
22 ‘The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light; 23but if your eye is unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!
Serving Two Masters
24 ‘No one can serve two masters; for a slave will either hate the one and love the other, or be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and wealth.*
Do Not Worry
25 ‘Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink,* or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27And can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life?* 28And why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin, 29yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not clothed like one of these. 30But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31Therefore do not worry, saying, “What will we eat?†or “What will we drink?†or “What will we wear?†32For it is the Gentiles who strive for all these things; and indeed your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33But strive first for the kingdom of God* and his* righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
34 ‘So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today’s trouble is enough for today.
Matthew 7
Judging Others
7‘Do not judge, so that you may not be judged. 2For with the judgement you make you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get. 3Why do you see the speck in your neighbour’s* eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye? 4Or how can you say to your neighbour,* “Let me take the speck out of your eyeâ€, while the log is in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbour’s* eye.
Profaning the Holy
6 ‘Do not give what is holy to dogs; and do not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them under foot and turn and maul you.
Ask, Search, Knock
7 ‘Ask, and it will be given to you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you. 8For everyone who asks receives, and everyone who searches finds, and for everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. 9Is there anyone among you who, if your child asks for bread, will give a stone? 10Or if the child asks for a fish, will give a snake? 11If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask him!
The Golden Rule
12 ‘In everything do to others as you would have them do to you; for this is the law and the prophets.
The Narrow Gate
13 ‘Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the road is easy* that leads to destruction, and there are many who take it. 14For the gate is narrow and the road is hard that leads to life, and there are few who find it.
A Tree and Its Fruit
15 ‘Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. 16You will know them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thorns, or figs from thistles? 17In the same way, every good tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit. 18A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. 19Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20Thus you will know them by their fruits.
Concerning Self-Deception
21 ‘Not everyone who says to me, “Lord, Lordâ€, will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only one who does the will of my Father in heaven. 22On that day many will say to me, “Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many deeds of power in your name?†23Then I will declare to them, “I never knew you; go away from me, you evildoers.â€
Hearers and Doers
24 ‘Everyone then who hears these words of mine and acts on them will be like a wise man who built his house on rock. 25The rain fell, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on rock. 26And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not act on them will be like a foolish man who built his house on sand. 27The rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell—and great was its fall!’
28 Now when Jesus had finished saying these things, the crowds were astounded at his teaching, 29for he taught them as one having authority, and not as their scribes.
Matthew 8
Jesus Cleanses a Leper
8When Jesus* had come down from the mountain, great crowds followed him; 2and there was a leper* who came to him and knelt before him, saying, ‘Lord, if you choose, you can make me clean.’ 3He stretched out his hand and touched him, saying, ‘I do choose. Be made clean!’ Immediately his leprosy* was cleansed. 4Then Jesus said to him, ‘See that you say nothing to anyone; but go, show yourself to the priest, and offer the gift that Moses commanded, as a testimony to them.’
Jesus Heals a Centurion’s Servant
5 When he entered Capernaum, a centurion came to him, appealing to him 6and saying, ‘Lord, my servant is lying at home paralysed, in terrible distress.’ 7And he said to him, ‘I will come and cure him.’ 8The centurion answered, ‘Lord, I am not worthy to have you come under my roof; but only speak the word, and my servant will be healed. 9For I also am a man under authority, with soldiers under me; and I say to one, “Goâ€, and he goes, and to another, “Comeâ€, and he comes, and to my slave, “Do thisâ€, and the slave does it.’ 10When Jesus heard him, he was amazed and said to those who followed him, ‘Truly I tell you, in no one* in Israel have I found such faith. 11I tell you, many will come from east and west and will eat with Abraham and Isaac and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven, 12while the heirs of the kingdom will be thrown into the outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’ 13And to the centurion Jesus said, ‘Go; let it be done for you according to your faith.’ And the servant was healed in that hour.
Jesus Heals Many at Peter’s House
14 When Jesus entered Peter’s house, he saw his mother-in-law lying in bed with a fever; 15he touched her hand, and the fever left her, and she got up and began to serve him. 16That evening they brought to him many who were possessed by demons; and he cast out the spirits with a word, and cured all who were sick. 17This was to fulfil what had been spoken through the prophet Isaiah, ‘He took our infirmities and bore our diseases.’
Would-Be Followers of Jesus
18 Now when Jesus saw great crowds around him, he gave orders to go over to the other side. 19A scribe then approached and said, ‘Teacher, I will follow you wherever you go.’ 20And Jesus said to him, ‘Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests; but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.’ 21Another of his disciples said to him, ‘Lord, first let me go and bury my father.’ 22But Jesus said to him, ‘Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead.’
Jesus Stills the Storm
23 And when he got into the boat, his disciples followed him. 24A gale arose on the lake, so great that the boat was being swamped by the waves; but he was asleep. 25And they went and woke him up, saying, ‘Lord, save us! We are perishing!’ 26And he said to them, ‘Why are you afraid, you of little faith?’ Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the sea; and there was a dead calm. 27They were amazed, saying, ‘What sort of man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey him?’
Jesus Heals the Gadarene Demoniacs
28 When he came to the other side, to the country of the Gadarenes,* two demoniacs coming out of the tombs met him. They were so fierce that no one could pass that way. 29Suddenly they shouted, ‘What have you to do with us, Son of God? Have you come here to torment us before the time?’ 30Now a large herd of swine was feeding at some distance from them. 31The demons begged him, ‘If you cast us out, send us into the herd of swine.’ 32And he said to them, ‘Go!’ So they came out and entered the swine; and suddenly, the whole herd rushed down the steep bank into the lake and perished in the water. 33The swineherds ran off, and on going into the town, they told the whole story about what had happened to the demoniacs. 34Then the whole town came out to meet Jesus; and when they saw him, they begged him to leave their neighbourhood.
Matthew 9
91And after getting into a boat he crossed the water and came to his own town.
Jesus Heals a Paralytic
2 And just then some people were carrying a paralysed man lying on a bed. When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, ‘Take heart, son; your sins are forgiven.’ 3Then some of the scribes said to themselves, ‘This man is blaspheming.’ 4But Jesus, perceiving their thoughts, said, ‘Why do you think evil in your hearts? 5For which is easier, to say, “Your sins are forgivenâ€, or to say, “Stand up and walkâ€? 6But so that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins’—he then said to the paralytic—‘Stand up, take your bed and go to your home.’ 7And he stood up and went to his home. 8When the crowds saw it, they were filled with awe, and they glorified God, who had given such authority to human beings.
The Calling of Matthew
9 As Jesus was walking along, he saw a man called Matthew sitting at the tax booth; and he said to him, ‘Follow me.’ And he got up and followed him.
10 And as he sat at dinner* in the house, many tax-collectors and sinners came and were sitting* with him and his disciples. 11When the Pharisees saw this, they said to his disciples, ‘Why does your teacher eat with tax-collectors and sinners?’ 12But when he heard this, he said, ‘Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. 13Go and learn what this means, “I desire mercy, not sacrifice.†For I have come to call not the righteous but sinners.’
The Question about Fasting
14 Then the disciples of John came to him, saying, ‘Why do we and the Pharisees fast often,* but your disciples do not fast?’ 15And Jesus said to them, ‘The wedding-guests cannot mourn as long as the bridegroom is with them, can they? The days will come when the bridegroom is taken away from them, and then they will fast. 16No one sews a piece of unshrunk cloth on an old cloak, for the patch pulls away from the cloak, and a worse tear is made. 17Neither is new wine put into old wineskins; otherwise, the skins burst, and the wine is spilled, and the skins are destroyed; but new wine is put into fresh wineskins, and so both are preserved.’
A Girl Restored to Life and a Woman Healed
18 While he was saying these things to them, suddenly a leader of the synagogue* came in and knelt before him, saying, ‘My daughter has just died; but come and lay your hand on her, and she will live.’ 19And Jesus got up and followed him, with his disciples. 20Then suddenly a woman who had been suffering from haemorrhages for twelve years came up behind him and touched the fringe of his cloak, 21for she said to herself, ‘If I only touch his cloak, I will be made well.’ 22Jesus turned, and seeing her he said, ‘Take heart, daughter; your faith has made you well.’ And instantly the woman was made well. 23When Jesus came to the leader’s house and saw the flute-players and the crowd making a commotion, 24he said, ‘Go away; for the girl is not dead but sleeping.’ And they laughed at him. 25But when the crowd had been put outside, he went in and took her by the hand, and the girl got up. 26And the report of this spread throughout that district.
Jesus Heals Two Blind Men
27 As Jesus went on from there, two blind men followed him, crying loudly, ‘Have mercy on us, Son of David!’ 28When he entered the house, the blind men came to him; and Jesus said to them, ‘Do you believe that I am able to do this?’ They said to him, ‘Yes, Lord.’ 29Then he touched their eyes and said, ‘According to your faith let it be done to you.’ 30And their eyes were opened. Then Jesus sternly ordered them, ‘See that no one knows of this.’ 31But they went away and spread the news about him throughout that district.
Jesus Heals One Who Was Mute
32 After they had gone away, a demoniac who was mute was brought to him. 33And when the demon had been cast out, the one who had been mute spoke; and the crowds were amazed and said, ‘Never has anything like this been seen in Israel.’ 34But the Pharisees said, ‘By the ruler of the demons he casts out the demons.’*
The Harvest Is Great, the Labourers Few
35 Then Jesus went about all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues, and proclaiming the good news of the kingdom, and curing every disease and every sickness. 36When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. 37Then he said to his disciples, ‘The harvest is plentiful, but the labourers are few; 38therefore ask the Lord of the harvest to send out labourers into his harvest.’
Matthew 10
The Twelve Apostles
10Then Jesus* summoned his twelve disciples and gave them authority over unclean spirits, to cast them out, and to cure every disease and every sickness. 2These are the names of the twelve apostles: first, Simon, also known as Peter, and his brother Andrew; James son of Zebedee, and his brother John; 3Philip and Bartholomew; Thomas and Matthew the tax-collector; James son of Alphaeus, and Thaddaeus;* 4Simon the Cananaean, and Judas Iscariot, the one who betrayed him.
The Mission of the Twelve
5 These twelve Jesus sent out with the following instructions: ‘Go nowhere among the Gentiles, and enter no town of the Samaritans, 6but go rather to the lost sheep of the house of Israel. 7As you go, proclaim the good news, “The kingdom of heaven has come near.â€* 8Cure the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers,* cast out demons. You received without payment; give without payment. 9Take no gold, or silver, or copper in your belts, 10no bag for your journey, or two tunics, or sandals, or a staff; for labourers deserve their food. 11Whatever town or village you enter, find out who in it is worthy, and stay there until you leave. 12As you enter the house, greet it. 13If the house is worthy, let your peace come upon it; but if it is not worthy, let your peace return to you. 14If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, shake off the dust from your feet as you leave that house or town. 15Truly I tell you, it will be more tolerable for the land of Sodom and Gomorrah on the day of judgement than for that town.
Coming Persecutions
16 ‘See, I am sending you out like sheep into the midst of wolves; so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves. 17Beware of them, for they will hand you over to councils and flog you in their synagogues; 18and you will be dragged before governors and kings because of me, as a testimony to them and the Gentiles. 19When they hand you over, do not worry about how you are to speak or what you are to say; for what you are to say will be given to you at that time; 20for it is not you who speak, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you. 21Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child, and children will rise against parents and have them put to death; 22and you will be hated by all because of my name. But the one who endures to the end will be saved. 23When they persecute you in one town, flee to the next; for truly I tell you, you will not have gone through all the towns of Israel before the Son of Man comes.
24 ‘A disciple is not above the teacher, nor a slave above the master; 25it is enough for the disciple to be like the teacher, and the slave like the master. If they have called the master of the house Beelzebul, how much more will they malign those of his household!
Whom to Fear
26 ‘So have no fear of them; for nothing is covered up that will not be uncovered, and nothing secret that will not become known. 27What I say to you in the dark, tell in the light; and what you hear whispered, proclaim from the housetops. 28Do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul; rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell.* 29Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground unperceived by your Father. 30And even the hairs of your head are all counted. 31So do not be afraid; you are of more value than many sparrows.
32 ‘Everyone therefore who acknowledges me before others, I also will acknowledge before my Father in heaven; 33but whoever denies me before others, I also will deny before my Father in heaven.
Not Peace, but a Sword
34 ‘Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth; I have not come to bring peace, but a sword.
35For I have come to set a man against his father,
and a daughter against her mother,
and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law;
36and one’s foes will be members of one’s own household.
37Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; 38and whoever does not take up the cross and follow me is not worthy of me. 39Those who find their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will find it.
Rewards
40 ‘Whoever welcomes you welcomes me, and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me. 41Whoever welcomes a prophet in the name of a prophet will receive a prophet’s reward; and whoever welcomes a righteous person in the name of a righteous person will receive the reward of the righteous; 42and whoever gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones in the name of a disciple—truly I tell you, none of these will lose their reward.’
Matthew 11
11Now when Jesus had finished instructing his twelve disciples, he went on from there to teach and proclaim his message in their cities.
Messengers from John the Baptist
2 When John heard in prison what the Messiah* was doing, he sent word by his* disciples 3and said to him, ‘Are you the one who is to come, or are we to wait for another?’ 4Jesus answered them, ‘Go and tell John what you hear and see: 5the blind receive their sight, the lame walk, the lepers* are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the poor have good news brought to them. 6And blessed is anyone who takes no offence at me.’
Jesus Praises John the Baptist
7 As they went away, Jesus began to speak to the crowds about John: ‘What did you go out into the wilderness to look at? A reed shaken by the wind? 8What then did you go out to see? Someone* dressed in soft robes? Look, those who wear soft robes are in royal palaces. 9What then did you go out to see? A prophet?* Yes, I tell you, and more than a prophet. 10This is the one about whom it is written,
“See, I am sending my messenger ahead of you,
who will prepare your way before you.â€
11Truly I tell you, among those born of women no one has arisen greater than John the Baptist; yet the least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he. 12From the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven has suffered violence,* and the violent take it by force. 13For all the prophets and the law prophesied until John came; 14and if you are willing to accept it, he is Elijah who is to come. 15Let anyone with ears* listen!
16 ‘But to what will I compare this generation? It is like children sitting in the market-places and calling to one another,
17“We played the flute for you, and you did not dance;
we wailed, and you did not mourn.â€
18For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, “He has a demonâ€; 19the Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, “Look, a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax-collectors and sinners!†Yet wisdom is vindicated by her deeds.’*
Woes to Unrepentant Cities
20 Then he began to reproach the cities in which most of his deeds of power had been done, because they did not repent. 21‘Woe to you, Chorazin! Woe to you, Bethsaida! For if the deeds of power done in you had been done in Tyre and Sidon, they would have repented long ago in sackcloth and ashes. 22But I tell you, on the day of judgement it will be more tolerable for Tyre and Sidon than for you. 23And you, Capernaum,
will you be exalted to heaven?
No, you will be brought down to Hades.
For if the deeds of power done in you had been done in Sodom, it would have remained until this day. 24But I tell you that on the day of judgement it will be more tolerable for the land of Sodom than for you.’
Jesus Thanks His Father
25 At that time Jesus said, ‘I thank* you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and the intelligent and have revealed them to infants; 26yes, Father, for such was your gracious will.* 27All things have been handed over to me by my Father; and no one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son chooses to reveal him.
28 ‘Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.’
Matthew 12
Plucking Grain on the Sabbath
12At that time Jesus went through the cornfields on the sabbath; his disciples were hungry, and they began to pluck heads of grain and to eat. 2When the Pharisees saw it, they said to him, ‘Look, your disciples are doing what is not lawful to do on the sabbath.’ 3He said to them, ‘Have you not read what David did when he and his companions were hungry? 4He entered the house of God and ate the bread of the Presence, which it was not lawful for him or his companions to eat, but only for the priests. 5Or have you not read in the law that on the sabbath the priests in the temple break the sabbath and yet are guiltless? 6I tell you, something greater than the temple is here. 7But if you had known what this means, “I desire mercy and not sacrificeâ€, you would not have condemned the guiltless. 8For the Son of Man is lord of the sabbath.’
The Man with a Withered Hand
9 He left that place and entered their synagogue; 10a man was there with a withered hand, and they asked him, ‘Is it lawful to cure on the sabbath?’ so that they might accuse him. 11He said to them, ‘Suppose one of you has only one sheep and it falls into a pit on the sabbath; will you not lay hold of it and lift it out? 12How much more valuable is a human being than a sheep! So it is lawful to do good on the sabbath.’ 13Then he said to the man, ‘Stretch out your hand.’ He stretched it out, and it was restored, as sound as the other. 14But the Pharisees went out and conspired against him, how to destroy him.
God’s Chosen Servant
15 When Jesus became aware of this, he departed. Many crowds* followed him, and he cured all of them, 16and he ordered them not to make him known. 17This was to fulfil what had been spoken through the prophet Isaiah:
18‘Here is my servant, whom I have chosen,
my beloved, with whom my soul is well pleased.
I will put my Spirit upon him,
and he will proclaim justice to the Gentiles.
19He will not wrangle or cry aloud,
nor will anyone hear his voice in the streets.
20He will not break a bruised reed
or quench a smouldering wick
until he brings justice to victory.
21 And in his name the Gentiles will hope.’
Jesus and Beelzebul
22 Then they brought to him a demoniac who was blind and mute; and he cured him, so that the one who had been mute could speak and see. 23All the crowds were amazed and said, ‘Can this be the Son of David?’ 24But when the Pharisees heard it, they said, ‘It is only by Beelzebul, the ruler of the demons, that this fellow casts out the demons.’ 25He knew what they were thinking and said to them, ‘Every kingdom divided against itself is laid waste, and no city or house divided against itself will stand. 26If Satan casts out Satan, he is divided against himself; how then will his kingdom stand? 27If I cast out demons by Beelzebul, by whom do your own exorcists* cast them out? Therefore they will be your judges. 28But if it is by the Spirit of God that I cast out demons, then the kingdom of God has come to you. 29Or how can one enter a strong man’s house and plunder his property, without first tying up the strong man? Then indeed the house can be plundered. 30Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters. 31Therefore I tell you, people will be forgiven for every sin and blasphemy, but blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven. 32Whoever speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but whoever speaks against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven, either in this age or in the age to come.
A Tree and Its Fruit
33 ‘Either make the tree good, and its fruit good; or make the tree bad, and its fruit bad; for the tree is known by its fruit. 34You brood of vipers! How can you speak good things, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. 35The good person brings good things out of a good treasure, and the evil person brings evil things out of an evil treasure. 36I tell you, on the day of judgement you will have to give an account for every careless word you utter; 37for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.’
The Sign of Jonah
38 Then some of the scribes and Pharisees said to him, ‘Teacher, we wish to see a sign from you.’ 39But he answered them, ‘An evil and adulterous generation asks for a sign, but no sign will be given to it except the sign of the prophet Jonah. 40For just as Jonah was for three days and three nights in the belly of the sea monster, so for three days and three nights the Son of Man will be in the heart of the earth. 41The people of Nineveh will rise up at the judgement with this generation and condemn it, because they repented at the proclamation of Jonah, and see, something greater than Jonah is here! 42The queen of the South will rise up at the judgement with this generation and condemn it, because she came from the ends of the earth to listen to the wisdom of Solomon, and see, something greater than Solomon is here!
The Return of the Unclean Spirit
43 ‘When the unclean spirit has gone out of a person, it wanders through waterless regions looking for a resting-place, but it finds none. 44Then it says, “I will return to my house from which I came.†When it comes, it finds it empty, swept, and put in order. 45Then it goes and brings along seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they enter and live there; and the last state of that person is worse than the first. So will it be also with this evil generation.’
The True Kindred of Jesus
46 While he was still speaking to the crowds, his mother and his brothers were standing outside, wanting to speak to him. 47Someone told him, ‘Look, your mother and your brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you.’* 48But to the one who had told him this, Jesus* replied, ‘Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?’ 49And pointing to his disciples, he said, ‘Here are my mother and my brothers! 50For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.’
Matthew 13
The Parable of the Sower
13That same day Jesus went out of the house and sat beside the lake. 2Such great crowds gathered around him that he got into a boat and sat there, while the whole crowd stood on the beach. 3And he told them many things in parables, saying: ‘Listen! A sower went out to sow. 4And as he sowed, some seeds fell on the path, and the birds came and ate them up. 5Other seeds fell on rocky ground, where they did not have much soil, and they sprang up quickly, since they had no depth of soil. 6But when the sun rose, they were scorched; and since they had no root, they withered away. 7Other seeds fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked them. 8Other seeds fell on good soil and brought forth grain, some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty. 9Let anyone with ears* listen!’
The Purpose of the Parables
10 Then the disciples came and asked him, ‘Why do you speak to them in parables?’ 11He answered, ‘To you it has been given to know the secrets* of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it has not been given. 12For to those who have, more will be given, and they will have an abundance; but from those who have nothing, even what they have will be taken away. 13The reason I speak to them in parables is that “seeing they do not perceive, and hearing they do not listen, nor do they understand.†14With them indeed is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah that says:
“You will indeed listen, but never understand,
and you will indeed look, but never perceive.
15For this people’s heart has grown dull,
and their ears are hard of hearing,
and they have shut their eyes;
so that they might not look with their eyes,
and listen with their ears,
and understand with their heart and turn—
and I would heal them.â€
16But blessed are your eyes, for they see, and your ears, for they hear. 17Truly I tell you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, but did not see it, and to hear what you hear, but did not hear it.
The Parable of the Sower Explained
18 ‘Hear then the parable of the sower. 19When anyone hears the word of the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what is sown in the heart; this is what was sown on the path. 20As for what was sown on rocky ground, this is the one who hears the word and immediately receives it with joy; 21yet such a person has no root, but endures only for a while, and when trouble or persecution arises on account of the word, that person immediately falls away.* 22As for what was sown among thorns, this is the one who hears the word, but the cares of the world and the lure of wealth choke the word, and it yields nothing. 23But as for what was sown on good soil, this is the one who hears the word and understands it, who indeed bears fruit and yields, in one case a hundredfold, in another sixty, and in another thirty.’
The Parable of Weeds among the Wheat
24 He put before them another parable: ‘The kingdom of heaven may be compared to someone who sowed good seed in his field; 25but while everybody was asleep, an enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat, and then went away. 26So when the plants came up and bore grain, then the weeds appeared as well. 27And the slaves of the householder came and said to him, “Master, did you not sow good seed in your field? Where, then, did these weeds come from?†28He answered, “An enemy has done this.†The slaves said to him, “Then do you want us to go and gather them?†29But he replied, “No; for in gathering the weeds you would uproot the wheat along with them. 30Let both of them grow together until the harvest; and at harvest time I will tell the reapers, Collect the weeds first and bind them in bundles to be burned, but gather the wheat into my barn.†’
The Parable of the Mustard Seed
31 He put before them another parable: ‘The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed that someone took and sowed in his field; 32it is the smallest of all the seeds, but when it has grown it is the greatest of shrubs and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and make nests in its branches.’
The Parable of the Yeast
33 He told them another parable: ‘The kingdom of heaven is like yeast that a woman took and mixed in with* three measures of flour until all of it was leavened.’
The Use of Parables
34 Jesus told the crowds all these things in parables; without a parable he told them nothing. 35This was to fulfil what had been spoken through the prophet:*
‘I will open my mouth to speak in parables;
I will proclaim what has been hidden from the foundation of the world.’*
Jesus Explains the Parable of the Weeds
36 Then he left the crowds and went into the house. And his disciples approached him, saying, ‘Explain to us the parable of the weeds of the field.’ 37He answered, ‘The one who sows the good seed is the Son of Man; 38the field is the world, and the good seed are the children of the kingdom; the weeds are the children of the evil one, 39and the enemy who sowed them is the devil; the harvest is the end of the age, and the reapers are angels. 40Just as the weeds are collected and burned up with fire, so will it be at the end of the age. 41The Son of Man will send his angels, and they will collect out of his kingdom all causes of sin and all evildoers, 42and they will throw them into the furnace of fire, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. 43Then the righteous will shine like the sun in the kingdom of their Father. Let anyone with ears* listen!
Three Parables
44 ‘The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which someone found and hid; then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.
45 ‘Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls; 46on finding one pearl of great value, he went and sold all that he had and bought it.
47 ‘Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a net that was thrown into the sea and caught fish of every kind; 48when it was full, they drew it ashore, sat down, and put the good into baskets but threw out the bad. 49So it will be at the end of the age. The angels will come out and separate the evil from the righteous 50and throw them into the furnace of fire, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
Treasures New and Old
51 ‘Have you understood all this?’ They answered, ‘Yes.’ 52And he said to them, ‘Therefore every scribe who has been trained for the kingdom of heaven is like the master of a household who brings out of his treasure what is new and what is old.’ 53When Jesus had finished these parables, he left that place.
The Rejection of Jesus at Nazareth
54 He came to his home town and began to teach the people* in their synagogue, so that they were astounded and said, ‘Where did this man get this wisdom and these deeds of power? 55Is not this the carpenter’s son? Is not his mother called Mary? And are not his brothers James and Joseph and Simon and Judas? 56And are not all his sisters with us? Where then did this man get all this?’ 57And they took offence at him. But Jesus said to them, ‘Prophets are not without honour except in their own country and in their own house.’ 58And he did not do many deeds of power there, because of their unbelief.
Matthew 14
The Death of John the Baptist
14At that time Herod the ruler* heard reports about Jesus; 2and he said to his servants, ‘This is John the Baptist; he has been raised from the dead, and for this reason these powers are at work in him.’ 3For Herod had arrested John, bound him, and put him in prison on account of Herodias, his brother Philip’s wife,* 4because John had been telling him, ‘It is not lawful for you to have her.’ 5Though Herod* wanted to put him to death, he feared the crowd, because they regarded him as a prophet. 6But when Herod’s birthday came, the daughter of Herodias danced before the company, and she pleased Herod 7so much that he promised on oath to grant her whatever she might ask. 8Prompted by her mother, she said, ‘Give me the head of John the Baptist here on a platter.’ 9The king was grieved, yet out of regard for his oaths and for the guests, he commanded it to be given; 10he sent and had John beheaded in the prison. 11The head was brought on a platter and given to the girl, who brought it to her mother. 12His disciples came and took the body and buried it; then they went and told Jesus.
Feeding the Five Thousand
13 Now when Jesus heard this, he withdrew from there in a boat to a deserted place by himself. But when the crowds heard it, they followed him on foot from the towns. 14When he went ashore, he saw a great crowd; and he had compassion for them and cured their sick. 15When it was evening, the disciples came to him and said, ‘This is a deserted place, and the hour is now late; send the crowds away so that they may go into the villages and buy food for themselves.’ 16Jesus said to them, ‘They need not go away; you give them something to eat.’ 17They replied, ‘We have nothing here but five loaves and two fish.’ 18And he said, ‘Bring them here to me.’ 19Then he ordered the crowds to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish, he looked up to heaven, and blessed and broke the loaves, and gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the crowds. 20And all ate and were filled; and they took up what was left over of the broken pieces, twelve baskets full. 21And those who ate were about five thousand men, besides women and children.
Jesus Walks on the Water
22 Immediately he made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead to the other side, while he dismissed the crowds. 23And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, 24but by this time the boat, battered by the waves, was far from the land,* for the wind was against them. 25And early in the morning he came walking towards them on the lake. 26But when the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified, saying, ‘It is a ghost!’ And they cried out in fear. 27But immediately Jesus spoke to them and said, ‘Take heart, it is I; do not be afraid.’
28 Peter answered him, ‘Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.’ 29He said, ‘Come.’ So Peter got out of the boat, started walking on the water, and came towards Jesus. 30But when he noticed the strong wind,* he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, ‘Lord, save me!’ 31Jesus immediately reached out his hand and caught him, saying to him, ‘You of little faith, why did you doubt?’ 32When they got into the boat, the wind ceased. 33And those in the boat worshipped him, saying, ‘Truly you are the Son of God.’
Jesus Heals the Sick in Gennesaret
34 When they had crossed over, they came to land at Gennesaret. 35After the people of that place recognized him, they sent word throughout the region and brought all who were sick to him, 36and begged him that they might touch even the fringe of his cloak; and all who touched it were healed.
Matthew 15
The Tradition of the Elders
15Then Pharisees and scribes came to Jesus from Jerusalem and said, 2‘Why do your disciples break the tradition of the elders? For they do not wash their hands before they eat.’ 3He answered them, ‘And why do you break the commandment of God for the sake of your tradition? 4For God said,* “Honour your father and your mother,†and, “Whoever speaks evil of father or mother must surely die.†5But you say that whoever tells father or mother, “Whatever support you might have had from me is given to Godâ€,* then that person need not honour the father.* 6So, for the sake of your tradition, you make void the word* of God. 7You hypocrites! Isaiah prophesied rightly about you when he said:
8“This people honours me with their lips,
but their hearts are far from me;
9in vain do they worship me,
teaching human precepts as doctrines.†’
Things That Defile
10 Then he called the crowd to him and said to them, ‘Listen and understand: 11it is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but it is what comes out of the mouth that defiles.’ 12Then the disciples approached and said to him, ‘Do you know that the Pharisees took offence when they heard what you said?’ 13He answered, ‘Every plant that my heavenly Father has not planted will be uprooted. 14Let them alone; they are blind guides of the blind.* And if one blind person guides another, both will fall into a pit.’ 15But Peter said to him, ‘Explain this parable to us.’ 16Then he said, ‘Are you also still without understanding? 17Do you not see that whatever goes into the mouth enters the stomach, and goes out into the sewer? 18But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this is what defiles. 19For out of the heart come evil intentions, murder, adultery, fornication, theft, false witness, slander. 20These are what defile a person, but to eat with unwashed hands does not defile.’
The Canaanite Woman’s Faith
21 Jesus left that place and went away to the district of Tyre and Sidon. 22Just then a Canaanite woman from that region came out and started shouting, ‘Have mercy on me, Lord, Son of David; my daughter is tormented by a demon.’ 23But he did not answer her at all. And his disciples came and urged him, saying, ‘Send her away, for she keeps shouting after us.’ 24He answered, ‘I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.’ 25But she came and knelt before him, saying, ‘Lord, help me.’ 26He answered, ‘It is not fair to take the children’s food and throw it to the dogs.’ 27She said, ‘Yes, Lord, yet even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters’ table.’ 28Then Jesus answered her, ‘Woman, great is your faith! Let it be done for you as you wish.’ And her daughter was healed instantly.
Jesus Cures Many People
29 After Jesus had left that place, he passed along the Sea of Galilee, and he went up the mountain, where he sat down. 30Great crowds came to him, bringing with them the lame, the maimed, the blind, the mute, and many others. They put them at his feet, and he cured them, 31so that the crowd was amazed when they saw the mute speaking, the maimed whole, the lame walking, and the blind seeing. And they praised the God of Israel.
Feeding the Four Thousand
32 Then Jesus called his disciples to him and said, ‘I have compassion for the crowd, because they have been with me now for three days and have nothing to eat; and I d
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Ere introducing the scrivener as he first appeared to me, it is fit I make some mention of myself, my employees, my business, my chambers and general surroundings, because some such description is indispensable to an adequate understanding of the chief character about to be presented. Imprimis: I am a man who, from his youth upwards, has been filled with a profound conviction that the easiest way of life is the best. Hence, though I belong to a profession proverbially energetic and nervous even to turbulence at times, yet nothing of that sort have I ever suffered to invade my peace. I am one of those unambitious lawyers who never addresses a jury or in any way draws down public applause, but, in the cool tranquillity of a snug retreat, do a snug business among rich men's bonds, and mortgages, and title deeds. All who know me consider me an eminently safe man. The late John Jacob Astor, a personage little given to poetic enthusiasm, had no hesitation in pronouncing my first grand point to be prudence, my next, method. I do not speak it in vanity, but simply record the fact that I was not unemployed in my profession by the late John Jacob Astor, a name which, I admit, I love to repeat, for it hath a rounded and orbicular sound to it, and rings like unto bullion. I will freely add that I was not insensible to the late John Jacob Astor's good opinion.
Some time prior to the period at which this little history begins my avocations had been largely increased. The good old office, now extinct in the State of New York, of a Master in Chancery, had been conferred upon me. It was not a very arduous office, but very pleasantly remunerative. I seldom lose my temper, much more seldom indulge in dangerous indignation at wrongs and outrages, but I must be permitted to be rash here and declare that I consider the sudden and violent abrogation of the office of Master in Chancery, by the new Constitution, as a premature act, inasmuch as I had counted upon a life lease of the profits, whereas I only received those of a few short years. But this is by the way.
My chambers were upstairs at No.___ Wall Street. At one end they looked upon the white wall of the interior of a spacious skylight shaft, penetrating the building from top to bottom.
This view might have been considered rather tame than otherwise, deficient in what landscape painters call "life." But, if so, the view from the other end of my chambers offered at least a contrast, if nothing more. In that direction, my windows commanded an unobstructed view of a lofty brick wall, black by age and everlasting shade, which wall required no spyglass to bring out its lurking beauties, but, for the benefit of all nearsighted spectators, was pushed up to within ten feet of my windowpanes. Owing to the great height of the surrounding buildings, and my chambers' being on the second floor, the interval between this wall and mine not a little resembled a huge square cistern.
At the period just preceding the advent of Bartleby, I had two persons as copyists in my employment, and a promising lad as an office boy. First, Turkey; second, Nippers; third Ginger Nut. These may seem names the like of which are not usually found in the Directory. In truth, they were nicknames, mutually conferred upon each other by my three clerks, and were deemed expressive of their respective persons or characters. Turkey was a short, pursy Englishman, of about my own age -- that is, somewhere not far from sixty. In the morning, one might say, his face was of a fine florid hue, but after twelve o'clock, meridian -- his dinner hour -- it blazed like a grate full of Christmas coals; and continued blazing -- but, as it were, with a gradual wane -- till six o'clock, P.M., or thereabouts; after which I saw no more of the proprietor of the face, which, gaining its meridian with the sun, seemed to set with it, to rise, culminate, and decline the following day, with the like regularity and undiminished glory. There are many singular coincidences I have known in the course of my life, not the least among which was the fact, that, exactly when Turkey displayed his fullest beams from his red and radiant countenance, just then, too, at that critical moment, began the daily period when I considered his business capacities as seriously disturbed for the remainder of the twenty-four hours. Not that he was absolutely idle or averse to business then; far from it. The difficulty was, he was apt to be altogether too energetic. There was a strange, inflamed, flurried, flighty recklessness of activity about him. He would be incautious in dipping his pen into his inkstand. All his blots upon my documents were dropped there after twelve o'clock, meridian. Indeed, not only would he be reckless and sadly given to making blots in the afternoon, but some days he went further and was rather noisy. At such times, too, his face flamed with augmented blazonry, as if cannel coal had been heaped on anthracite. He made an unpleasant racket with his chair; spilled his sandbox; in mending his pens, impatiently split them all to pieces and threw them on the floor in a sudden passion; stood up and leaned over his table, boxing his papers about in a most indecorous manner, very sad to behold in an elderly man like him. Nevertheless, as he was in many ways a most valuable person to me, and all the time before twelve o'clock, meridian, was the quickest, steadiest creature, too, accomplishing a great deal of work in a style not easily to be matched -- for these reasons I was willing to overlook his eccentricities, though indeed, occasionally, I remonstrated with him. I did this very gently, however, because, though the civilest, nay, the blandest and most reverential of men in the morning, yet, in the afternoon he was disposed, upon provocation, to be slightly rash with his tongue -- in fact, insolent. Now, valuing his morning services as I did, and resolved not to lose them -- yet, at the same time, made uncomfortable by his inflamed ways after twelve o'clock and being a man of peace, unwilling by my admonitions to call forth unseemly retorts from him, I took upon me one Saturday noon (he was always worse on Saturdays) to hint to him, very kindly, that perhaps, now that he was growing old, it might be well to abridge his labors; in short, he need not come to my chambers after twelve o'clock, but, dinner over, had best go home to his lodgings and rest himself till teatime. But no; he insisted upon his afternoon devotions. His countenance became intolerably fervid, as he oratorically assured me -- gesticulating with a long ruler at the other end of the room that if his services in the morning were useful, how indispensable, then, in the afternoon?
"With submission, sir," said Turkey, on this occasion, "I consider myself your right-hand man. In the morning I but marshal and deploy my columns, but in the afternoon I put myself at their head, and gallantly charge the foe, thus" -- and he made a violent thrust with the ruler.
"But the blots, Turkey," intimated I.
"True; but, with submission, sir, behold these hairs! I am getting old. Surely, sir, a blot or two of a warm afternoon is not to be severely urged against gray hairs. Old age even if it blot the page -- is honorable. With submission, sir, we both are getting old."
This appeal to my fellow feeling was hardly to be resisted. At all events, I saw that go he would not. So I made up my mind to let him stay, resolving, nevertheless, to see to it that, during the afternoon, he had to do with my less important papers.
Nippers, the second on my list, was a whiskered, sallow, and upon the whole rather piratical-looking young man of about five and twenty. I always deemed him the victim of two evil powers -- ambition and indigestion. The ambition was evinced by a certain impatience of the duties of a mere copyist, an unwarrantable usurpation of strictly professional affairs, such as the original drawing up of legal documents. The indigestion seemed betokened in an occasional nervous testiness and grinning irritability, causing the teeth to audibly grind together over mistakes committed in copying; unnecessary maledictions, hissed rather than spoken, in the heat of business; and especially by a continual discontent with the height of the table where he worked. Though of a very ingenious mechanical turn, Nippers could never get this table to suit him. He put chips under it, blocks of various sorts, bits of pasteboard, and at last went so far as to attempt an exquisite adjustment by final pieces of folded blotting paper. But no invention would answer. If, for the sake of easing his back, he brought the table lid at a sharp angle well up towards his chin, and wrote there like a man using the steep roof of a Dutch house for his desk, then he declared that it stopped the circulation in his arms. If now he lowered the table to his waistbands and stooped over it in writing, then there was a sore aching in his back. In short, the truth of the matter was Nippers knew not what he wanted. Or, if he wanted anything, it was to be rid of a scrivener's table altogether. Among the manifestations of his diseased ambition was a fondness he had for receiving visits from certain ambiguous-looking fellows in seedy coats, whom he called his clients. Indeed, I was aware that not only was he, at times, considerable of a ward politician, but he occasionally did a little business at the Justices' courts, and was not unknown on the steps of the Tombs. I have good reason to believe, however, that one individual who called upon him at my chambers, and who, with a grand air, he insisted was his client, was no other than a dun, and the alleged title deed, a bill. But, with all his failings, and the annoyances he caused me, Nippers, like his compatriot Turkey, was a very useful man to me; wrote a neat, swift hand; and, when he chose, was not deficient in a gentlemanly sort of deportment. Added to this, he always dressed in a gentlemanly sort of way, and so, incidentally, reflected credit upon my chambers. Whereas, with respect to Turkey, I had much ado to keep him from being a reproach to me. His clothes were apt to look oily, and smell of eating houses. He wore his pantaloons very loose and baggy in summer. His coats were execrable, his hat not to be handled. But while the hat was a thing of indifference to me, inasmuch as his natural civility and deference, as a dependent Englishman, always led him to doff it the moment he entered the room, yet his coat was another matter. Concerning his coats, I reasoned with him, but with no effect. The truth was, I suppose, that a man with so small an income could not afford to sport such a lustrous face and a lustrous coat at one and the same time. As Nippers once observed, Turkey's money went chiefly for red ink. One winter day, I presented Turkey with a highly respectable-looking coat of my own -- a padded gray coat of a most comfortable warmth, and which buttoned straight up from the knee to the neck. I thought Turkey would appreciate the favor and abate his rashness and obstreperousness of afternoons. But no; I verily believe that buttoning himself up in so downy and blanket-like a coat had a pernicious effect upon him -- upon the same principle that too much oats are bad for horses. In fact precisely as a rash, restive horse is said to feel his oats, so Turkey felt his coat. It made him insolent. He was a man whom prosperity harmed.
Though, concerning the self-indulgent habits of Turkey, I had my own private surmises, yet, touching Nippers, I was well persuaded that, whatever might be his faults in other respects, he was, at least, a temperate young man. But indeed, nature herself seemed to have been his vintner, and, at his birth, charged him so thoroughly with an irritable, brandylike disposition that all subsequent potations were needless. When I consider how, amid the stillness of my chambers, Nippers would sometimes impatiently rise from his seat, and, stooping over his table, spread his arms wide apart, seize the whole desk, and move it, and jerk it, with a grim, grinding motion on the floor, as if the table were a perverse voluntary agent, intent on thwarting and vexing him, I plainly perceive that, for Nippers, brandy-and-water were altogether superfluous.
It was fortunate for me that, owing to its peculiar cause -- indigestion -- the irritability and consequent nervousness of Nippers were mainly observable in the morning, while in the afternoon he was comparatively mild. So that, Turkey's paroxysms only coming on about twelve o'clock, I never had to do with their eccentricities at one time. Their fits relieved each other, like guards. When Nippers's was on, Turkey's was off and vice versa. This was a good natural arrangement, under the circumstances.
Ginger Nut, the third on my list, was a lad some twelve years old. His father was a carman, ambitious of seeing his son on the bench instead of a cart before he died. So he sent him to my office, as student at law, errand boy, cleaner and sweeper, at the rate of one dollar a week. He had a little desk to himself, but he did not use it much. Upon inspection, the drawer exhibited a great array of the shells of various sorts of nuts. Indeed, to this quick-witted youth, the whole noble science of the law was contained in a nutshell. Not the least among the employments of Ginger Nut, as well as one which he discharged with the most alacrity, was his duty as cake and apple purveyor for Turkey and Nippers. Copying law papers being proverbially a dry, husky sort of business, my two scriveners were fain to moisten their mouths very often with Spitzenbergs, to be had at the numerous stalls nigh the Custom House and Post Office. Also, they sent Ginger Nut very frequently for that peculiar cake -- small, flat, round, and very spicy -- after which he had been named by them. Of a cold morning, when business was but dull, Turkey would gobble up scores of these cakes, as if they were mere wafers -- indeed, they sell them at the rate of six or eight for a penny -- the scrape of his pen blending with the crunching of the crisp particles in his mouth. Of all the fiery afternoon blunders and flurried rashnesses of Turkey was his once moistening a ginger cake between his lips and clapping it on to a mortgage for a seal. I came within an ace of dismissing him then. But he mollified me by making an Oriental bow, and saying:
"With submission, sir, it was generous of me to find you in stationery on my own account."
Now my original business -- that of a conveyancer and title hunter, and drawer-up of recondite documents of all sorts -- was considerably increased by receiving the Master's office. There was now great work for scriveners. Not only must I push the clerks already with me, but I must have additional help.
In answer to my advertisement, a motionless young man one morning stood upon my office threshold, the door being open, for it was summer. I can see that figure now -- pallidly neat pitiably respectable, incurably forlorn! It was Bartleby.
After a few words touching his qualifications, I engaged him, glad to have among my corps of copyists a man of so singularly sedate an aspect, which I thought might operate beneficially upon the flighty temper of Turkey and the fiery one of Nippers.
I should have stated before that ground-glass folding doors divided my premises into two parts, one of which was occupied by my scriveners, the other by myself. According to my humor, I threw open these doors or closed them. I resolved to assign Bartleby a corner by the folding doors, but on my side of them so as to have this quiet man within easy call, in case any trifling thing was to be done. I placed his desk close up to a small side window in that part of the room, a window which originally had afforded a lateral view of certain grimy back yards and bricks, but which, owing to subsequent erections, commanded at present no view at all, though it gave some light. Within three feet of the panes was a wall, and the light came down from far above, between two lofty buildings, as from a very small opening in a dome. Still further to a satisfactory arrangement, I procured a high green folding screen, which might entirely isolate Bartleby from my sight, though not remove him from my voice. And thus, in a manner, privacy and society were conjoined.
At first, Bartleby did an extraordinary quantity of writing. As if long famishing for something to copy, he seemed to gorge himself on my documents. There was no pause for digestion. He ran a day and night line, copying by sunlight and by candlelight. I should have been quite delighted with his application, had he been cheerfully industrious. But he wrote on silently, palely, mechanically.
It is, of course, an indispensable part of a scrivener's business to verify the accuracy of his copy, word by word. Where there are two or more scriveners in an office, they assist each other in this examination, one reading from the copy, the other holding the original. It is a very dull, wearisome, and lethargic affair. I can readily imagine that, to some sanguine temperaments, it would be altogether intolerable. For example, I cannot credit that the mettlesome poet, Byron, would have contentedly sat down with Bartleby to examine a law document of, say five hundred pages, closely written in a crimpy hand.
Now and then, in the haste of business, it had been my habit to assist in comparing some brief document myself, calling Turkey or Nippers for this purpose. One object I had in placing Bartleby so handy to me behind the screen was to avail myself of his services on such trivial occasions. It was on the third day, I think, of his being with me, and before any necessity had arisen for having his own writing examined, that, being much hurried to complete a small affair I had in hand, I abruptly called to Bartleby. In my haste and natural expectancy of instant compliance, I sat with my head bent over the original on my desk, and my right hand sideways, and somewhat nervously extended with the copy, so that, immediately upon emerging from his retreat, Bartleby might snatch it and proceed to business without the least delay.
In this very attitude did I sit when I called to him, rapidly stating what it was I wanted him to do -- namely, to examine a small paper with me. Imagine my surprise, nay, my consternation, when, without moving from his privacy, Bartleby, in a singularly mild, firm voice, replied, "I would prefer not to."
I sat awhile in perfect silence, rallying my stunned faculties. Immediately it occurred to me that my ears had deceived me, or Bartleby had entirely misunderstood my meaning. I repeated my request in the clearest tone I could assume; but in quite as clear a one came the previous reply, "I would prefer not to."
"Prefer not to," echoed I, rising in high excitement, and crossing the room with a stride. "What do you mean? Are you moon-struck? I want you to help me compare this sheet here -- take it," and I thrust it towards him.
"I would prefer not to," said he.
I looked at him steadfastly. His face was leanly composed; his gray eyes dimly calm. Not a wrinkle of agitation rippled him. Had there been the least uneasiness, anger, impatience or impertinence in his manner; in other words, had there been anything ordinarily human about him, doubtless I should have violently dismissed him from the premises. But as it was I should have as soon thought of turning my pale plaster-of-Paris bust of Cicero out of doors. I stood gazing at him awhile, as he went on with his own writing, and then reseated myself at my desk. This is very strange, thought I. What had one best do? But my business hurried me. I concluded to forget the matter for the present, reserving it for my future leisure. So calling Nippers from the other room, the paper was speedily examined.
A few days after this, Bartleby concluded four lengthy documents, being quadruplicates of a week's testimony taken before me in my High Court of Chancery. It became necessary to examine them. It was an important suit, and great accuracy was imperative. Having all things arranged, I called Turkey Nippers and Ginger Nut, from the next room, meaning to place the four copies in the hands of my four clerks, while I should read from the original. Accordingly, Turkey, Nippers, and Ginger Nut had taken their seats in a row, each with his document in his hand, when I called to Bartleby to join this interesting group.
"Bartleby! quick, I am waiting."
I heard a slow scrape of his chair legs on the uncarpeted floor, and soon he appeared standing at the entrance of his hermitage.
"What is wanted?" said he, mildly.
"The copies, the copies," said I, hurriedly. "We are going to examine them. There" -- and I held towards him the fourth quadruplicate.
"I would prefer not to," he said, and gently disappeared behind the screen.
For a few moments I was turned into a pillar of salt, standing at the head of my seated column of clerks. Recovering myself, I advanced towards the screen and demanded the reason for such extraordinary conduct.
"Why do you refuse?"
"I would prefer not to."
With any other man I should have flown outright into a dreadful passion, scorned all further words, and thrust him ignominiously from my presence. But there was something about Bartleby that not only strangely disarmed me, but, in a wonderful manner, touched and disconcerted me. I began to reason with him.
"These are your own copies we are about to examine. It is labor saving to you, because one examination will answer for your four papers. It is common usage. Every copyist is bound to help examine his copy. Is it not so? Will you not speak? Answer!"
"I prefer not, to," he replied in a flutelike tone. It seemed to me that, while I had been addressing him, he carefully revolved every statement that I made; fully comprehended the meaning; could not gainsay the irresistible conclusion; but, at the same time, some paramount consideration prevailed with him to reply as he did.
"You are decided, then, not to comply with my request -- a request made according to common usage and common sense?"
He briefly gave me to understand that on that point my judgment was sound. Yes: his decision was irreversible.
It is seldom the case that, when a man is browbeaten in some unprecedented and violently unreasonable way, he begins to stagger in his own plainest faith. He begins, as it were, vaguely to surmise that, wonderful as it may be, all the justice and all the reason is on the other side. Accordingly, if any disinterested persons are present, he turns to them for some reinforcement for his own faltering mind.
"Turkey," said I, "what do you think of this? Am I not right?"
"With submission, sir," said Turkey, in his blandest tone, "I think that you are."
"Nippers," said I, "what do you think of it?"
"I think I should kick him out of the office."
(The reader of nice perceptions, will here perceive that, it being morning, Turkey's answer is couched in polite and tranquil terms, but Nippers replies in ill-tempered ones. Or, to repeat a previous sentence, Nippers's ugly mood was on duty, and Turkey's off.)
"Ginger Nut," said I, willing to enlist the smallest suffrage in my behalf, "what do you think of it?"
"I think, sir, he's a little luny," replied Ginger Nut, with a grin.
"You hear what they say," said I, turning towards the screen, "come forth and do your duty."
But he vouchsafed no reply. I pondered a moment in sore perplexity. But once more business hurried me. I determined again to postpone the consideration of this dilemma to my future leisure. With a little trouble we made out to examine the papers without Bartleby, though at every page or two Turkey deferentially dropped his opinion that this proceeding was quite out of the common; while Nippers, twitching in his chair with a dyspeptic nervousness, ground out between his set teeth occasional hissing maledictions against the stubborn oaf behind the screen. And for his (Nippers's) part, this was the first and the last time he would do another man's business without pay.
Meanwhile Bartleby sat in his hermitage, oblivious to everything but his own peculiar business there.
Some days passed, the scrivener being employed upon another lengthy work. His late remarkable conduct led me to regard his ways narrowly. I observed that he never went to dinner; indeed, that he never went anywhere. As yet I had never, of my personal knowledge, known him to be outside of my office. He was a perpetual sentry in the corner. At about eleven o'clock, though, in the morning, I noticed that Ginger Nut would advance towards the opening in Bartleby's screen as if silently beckoned thither by a gesture invisible to me where I sat. The boy would then leave the office jingling a few pence, and reappear with a handful of gingernuts, which he delivered in the hermitage, receiving two of the cakes for his trouble.
He lives, then, on gingernuts, thought I; never eats a dinner, properly speaking; he must be a vegetarian, then; but no, he never eats even vegetables, he eats nothing but gingernuts. My mind then ran on in reveries concerning the probable effects upon the human constitution of living entirely on gingernuts. Gingernuts are so called because they contain ginger as one of their peculiar constituents and the normal flavoring one. Now, what was ginger? A hot, spicy thing. Was Bartleby hot and spicy? Not at all. Ginger, then had no effect upon Bartleby. Probably he preferred it should have none.
Chapter Two
Nothing so aggravates an earnest person as a passive resistance. If the individual so resisted be of a not inhumane temper, and the resisting one perfectly harmless in his passivity, then, in the better moods of the former, he will endeavor charitably to construe to his imagination what proves impossible to be solved by his judgment. Even so, for the most part, I regarded Bartleby and his ways. Poor fellow! thought I, he means no mischief; it is plain he intends no insolence; his aspect sufficiently evinces that his eccentricities are involuntary. He is useful to me. I can get along with him. If I turn him away, the chances are he will fall in with some less indulgent employer, and then he will be rudely treated, and perhaps driven forth miserably to starve. Yes. Here I can cheaply purchase a delicious self-approval. To befriend Bartleby, to humor him in his strange willfulness, will cost me little or nothing, while I lay up in my soul what will eventually prove a sweet morsel for my conscience. But this mood was not invariable with me. The passiveness of Bartleby sometimes irritated me. I felt strangely goaded on to encounter him in new opposition to elicit some angry spark from him answerable to my own. But, indeed, I might as well have essayed to strike fire with my knuckles against a bit of Windsor soap. But one afternoon the evil impulse in me mastered me, and the following little scene ensued:
"Bartleby," said I, "when those papers are all copied, I will compare them with you."
"I would prefer not to."
"How? Surely you do not mean to persist in that mulish vagary?"
No answer.
I threw open the folding doors near by, and, turning upon Turkey and Nippers, exclaimed:
"Bartleby a second time says he won't examine his papers. What do you think of it, Turkey?"
It was afternoon, be it remembered. Turkey sat glowing like a brass boiler, his bald head steaming, his hands reeling among his blotted papers.
"Think of it?" roared Turkey. "I think I'll just step behind his screen and black his eyes for him!"
So saying, Turkey rose to his feet and threw his arms into a pugilistic position. He was hurrying away to make good his promise when I detained him, alarmed at the effect of incautiously rousing Turkey's combativeness after dinner.
"Sit down, Turkey," said I, "and hear what Nippers has to say. What do you think of it, Nippers? Would I not be justified in immediately dismissing Bartleby?"
"Excuse me, that is for you to decide, sir. I think his conduct quite unusual, and indeed, unjust, as regards Turkey and myself. But it may only be a passing whim."
"Ah," exclaimed I, "you have strangely changed your mind, then -- you speak very gently of him now."
"All beer," cried Turkey; "gentleness is effects of beer -- Nippers and I dined together today. You see how gentle I am, sir. Shall I go and black his eyes?"
"You refer to Bartleby, I suppose. No, not today, Turkey," I replied; "pray, put up your fists."
I closed the doors and again advanced towards Bartleby. I felt additional incentives tempting me to my fate. I burned to be rebelled against again. I remembered that Bartleby never left the office.
"Bartleby," said I, "Ginger Nut is away; just step around to the Post Office, won't you? (it was but a three minutes' walk), and see if there is anything for me."
"I would prefer not to."
"You will not?"
"I prefer not."
I staggered to my desk and sat there in a deep study. My blind inveteracy returned. Was there any other thing in which I could procure myself to be ignominiously repulsed by this lean, penniless wight? -- my hired clerk? What added thing is there, perfectly reasonable, that he will be sure to refuse to do? "Bartleby!"
No answer.
"Bartleby," in a louder tone.
No answer.
"Bartleby," I roared.
Like a very ghost, agreeably to the laws of magical invocation, at the third summons he appeared at the entrance of his hermitage.
"Go to the next room, and tell Nippers to come to me."
"I prefer not to," he respectfully and slowly said, and mildly disappeared.
"Very good, Bartleby," said I, in a quiet sort of serenely severe self- possessed tone, intimating the unalterable purpose of some terrible retribution very close at hand. At the moment I half intended something of the kind. But upon the whole, as it was drawing towards my dinner hour, I thought it best to put on my hat and walk home for the day, suffering much from perplexity and distress of mind.
Shall I acknowledge it? The conclusion of this whole business was that it soon became a fixed fact of my chambers, that a pale young scrivener by the name of Bartleby had a desk there; that he copied for me at the usual rate of four cents a folio (one hundred words); but he was permanently exempt from examining the work done by him, that duty being transferred to Turkey and Nippers, out of compliment, doubtless, to their superior acuteness; moreover, said Bartleby was never, on any account, to be dispatched on the most trivial errand of any sort; and that even if entreated to take upon him such a matter, it was generally understood that he would "prefer not to" -- in other words, that he would refuse point-blank.
As days passed on, I became considerably reconciled to Bartleby. His steadiness, his freedom from all dissipation, his incessant industry (except when he chose to throw himself into a standing reverie behind his screen), his great stillness, his unalterableness of demeanor under all circumstances, made him a valuable acquisition. One prime thing was this -- he was always there -- first in the morning, continually through the day, and the last at night. I had a singular confidence in his honesty. I felt my most precious papers perfectly safe in his hands. Sometimes, to be sure, I could not, for the very soul of me, avoid falling into sudden spasmodic passions with him. For it was exceeding difficult to bear in mind all the time those strange peculiarities, privileges, and unheard-of exemptions, forming the tacit stipulations on Bartleby's part under which he remained in my office. Now and then, in the eagerness of dispatching pressing business, I would inadvertently summon Bartleby, in a short, rapid tone, to put his finger, say, on the incipient tie of a bit of red tape with which I was about compressing some papers. Of course, from behind the screen the usual answer, "I prefer not to," was sure to come; and then, how could a human creature, with the common infirmities of our nature, refrain from bitterly exclaiming upon such perverseness -- such unreasonableness. However, every added repulse of this sort which I received only tended to lessen the probability of my repeating the inadvertence.
Here it must be said that, according to the custom of most legal gentlemen occupying chambers in densely populated law buildings, there were several keys to my door. One was kept by a woman residing in the attic, which person weekly scrubbed and daily swept and dusted my apartments. Another was kept by Turkey for convenience' sake. The third I sometimes carried in my own pocket. The fourth I knew not who had.
Now, one Sunday morning I happened to go to Trinity Church, to hear a celebrated preacher, and finding myself rather early on the ground I thought I would walk round to my chambers for a while. Luckily I had my key with me, but upon applying it to the lock, I found it resisted by something inserted from the inside. Quite surprised, I called out, when to my consternation a key was turned from within, and, thrusting his lean visage at me, and holding the door ajar, the apparition of Bartleby appeared, in his shirt sleeves, and otherwise in a strangely tattered de'shabille', saying quietly that he was sorry but he was deeply engaged just then, and -- preferred not admitting me at present. In a brief word or two, he moreover added, that perhaps I had better walk about the block two or three times, and by that time he would probably have concluded his affairs.
Now, the utterly unsurmised appearance of Bartleby tenanting my law chambers of a Sunday morning, with his cadaverously gentlemanly nonchalance, yet withal firm and self-possessed, had such a strange effect upon me that incontinently I slunk away from my own door and did as desired. But not without sundry twinges of impotent rebellion against the mild effrontery of this unaccountable scrivener. Indeed, it was his wonderful mildness, chiefly, which not only disarmed me but unmanned me, -- as it were. For I consider that one, for the time, is sort of unmanned when he tranquilly permits his hired clerk to dictate to him and order him away from his own premises. Furthermore, I was full of uneasiness as to what Bartleby could possibly be doing in my office in his shirt sleeves, and in an otherwise dismantled condition, of a Sunday morning. Was anything amiss going on? Nay, that was out of the question. It was not to be thought of for a moment that Bartleby was an immoral person. But what could he be doing there? -- copying? Nay again, whatever might be his eccentricities, Bartleby was an eminently decorous person. He would be the last man to sit down to his desk in any state approaching to nudity. Besides, it was Sunday; and there was something about Bartleby that forbade the supposition that he would by any secular occupation violate the proprieties of the day.
Nevertheless, my mind was not pacified, and, full of a restless curiosity, at last I returned to the door. Without hindrance I inserted my key, opened it, and entered. Bartleby was not to be seen. I looked round anxiously, peeped behind his screen but it was very plain that he was gone. Upon more closely examining the place, I surmised that for an indefinite period Bartleby must have ate, dressed, and slept in my office, and that, too, without plate, mirror, or bed. The cushioned seat of a rickety old sofa in one corner bore that faint impress of a lean, reclining form. Rolled away under his desk I found a blanket; under the empty grate, a blacking box and brush; on a chair, a tin basin, with soap and a ragged towel; in a newspaper a few crumbs of gingernuts and a morsel of cheese. Yes thought I, it is evident enough that Bartleby has been making his home here, keeping bachelor's hall all by himself. Immediately then the thought came sweeping across me, what miserable friendliness and loneliness are here revealed. His poverty is great, but his solitude, how horrible! Think of it. Of a Sunday, Wall Street is deserted as Petra, and every night of every day it IS an emptiness. This building, too, which of weekdays hums with industry and life, at nightfall echoes with sheer vacancy, and all through Sunday is forlorn. And here Bartleby makes his home, sole spectator of a solitude which he has seen all populous -- a sort of innocent and transformed Marius brooding among the ruins of Carthage!
For the first time in my life a feeling of overpowering stinging melancholy seized me. Before, I had never experienced aught but a not unpleasing sadness. The bond of a common humanity now drew me irresistibly to gloom. A fraternal melancholy! For both I and Bartleby were sons of Adam. I remembered the bright silks and sparkling faces I had seen that day, in gala trim, swanlike sailing down the Mississippi of Broadway; and I contrasted them with the pallid copyist, and thought to myself, Ah, happiness courts the light, so we deem the world is gay, but misery hides aloof, so we deem that misery there is none. These sad fancyings -- chimeras, doubtless, of a sick and silly brain -- led on to other and more special thoughts, concerning the eccentricities of Bartleby. Presentiments of strange discoveries hovered round me. The scrivener's pale form appeared to me laid out, among uncaring strangers in its shivering winding sheet.
Suddenly I was attracted by Bartleby's closed desk, the key in open sight left in the lock.
I mean no mischief, seek the gratification of no heartless curiosity, thought I; besides, the desk is mine, and its contents too, so I will make bold to look within. Everything was methodically arranged, the papers smoothly placed. The pigeonholes were deep, and, removing the files of documents, I groped into their recesses. Presently I felt something there, and dragged it out. It was an old bandanna handkerchief, heavy and knotted. I opened it, and saw it was a savings bank.
I now recalled all the quiet mysteries which I had noted in the man. I remembered that he never spoke but to answer; that, though at intervals he had considerable time to himself, yet I had never seen him reading -- no, not even a newspaper; that for long periods he would stand looking out, at his pale window behind the screen, upon the dead brick wall, I was quite sure he never visited any refectory or eating house, while his pale face clearly indicated that he never drank beer like Turkey, or tea and coffee even, like other men; that he never went anywhere in particular that I could learn; never went out for a walk, unless, indeed, that was the case at present -- that he had declined telling who he was, or whence he came, or whether he had any relatives in the world; that though so thin and pale, he never complained of ill health. And more than all I remembered a certain unconscious air of pallid -- how shall I call it? -- of pallid haughtiness, say, or rather an austere reserve about him, which had positively awed me into my tame compliance with his eccentricities, when I had feared to ask him to do the slightest incidental thing for me, even though I might know, from his long-continued motionlessness, that behind his screen he must be standing in one of those dead-wall reveries of his.
Revolving all these things, and coupling them with the recently discovered fact that he made my office his constant abiding place and home, and not forgetful of his morbid moodiness revolving all these things, a prudential feeling began to steal over me. My first emotions had been those of pure melancholy and sincerest pity; but just in proportion as the forlornness of Bartleby grew and grew to my imagination, did that same melancholy merge into fear, that pity into repulsion. So true it is, and so terrible too, that up to a certain point the thought or sight of misery enlists our best affections; but, in certain special cases, beyond that point it does not. They err who would assert that invariably this is owing to the inherent selfishness of the human heart. It rather proceeds from a certain hopelessness of remedying excessive and organic ill. To a sensitive being, pity is not seldom pain. And when at last it is perceived that such pity cannot lead to effectual succor common sense bids the soul be rid of it. What I saw that morning persuaded me that the scrivener was the victim of innate and incurable disorder. I might give alms to his body, but his body did not pain him -- it was his soul that suffered and his soul I could not reach.
I did not accomplish the purpose of going to Trinity Church that morning. Somehow, the things I had seen disqualified me for the time from churchgoing. I walked homeward, thinking what I would do with Bartleby. Finally, I resolved upon this -- I would put certain calm questions to him the next morning touching his history, etc., and if he declined to answer them openly and unreservedly (and I supposed he would prefer not) then to give him a twenty-dollar bill over and above whatever I might owe him, and tell him his services were no longer required; but that if in any other way I could assist him, I would be happy to do so, especially if he desired to return to his native place, wherever that might be, I would willingly help to defray the expenses. Moreover, if, after reaching home, he found himself at any time in want of aid, a letter from him would be sure of a reply. The next morning came. "Bartleby," said I, gently calling to him behind his screen. No reply.
"Bartleby," said I, in a still gentler tone, "come here -- I am not going to ask you to do anything you would prefer not to do -- I simply wish to speak to you."
Upon this he noiselessly slid into view.
"Will you tell me, Bartleby, where you were born?"
"I would prefer not to."
"Will you tell me anything about yourself?"
"I would prefer not to."
"But what reasonable objection can you have to speak to me? I feel friendly towards you."
He did not look at me while I spoke, but kept his glance fixed upon my bust of Cicero, which, as I then sat, was directly behind me, some six inches above my head.
"What is your answer, Bartleby," said I, after waiting a considerable time for a reply, during which his countenance remained immovable, only there was the faintest conceivable tremor of the white attenuated mouth.
"At present I prefer to give no answer," he said, and retired into his hermitage.
It was rather weak in me I confess, but his manner, on this occasion, nettled me. Not only did there seem to lurk in it a certain calm disdain, but his perverseness seemed ungrateful, considering the undeniable good usage and indulgence he had received from me.
Again I sat ruminating what I should do. Mortified as I was at his behavior, and resolved as I had been to dismiss him when I entered my office, nevertheless I strangely felt something superstitious knocking at my heart, and forbidding me to carry out my purpose, and denouncing me for a villain if I dared to breathe one bitter word against this forlornest of mankind. At last, familiarly drawing my chair behind his screen, I sat down and said: "Bartleby, never mind, then, about revealing your history; but let me entreat you, as a friend, to comply as far as may be with the usages of this office. Say now, you will help to examine papers tomorrow or next day: in short, say now, that in a day or two you will begin to be a little reasonable: -- say so, Bartleby."
"At present I would prefer not to be a little reasonable," was his mildly cadaverous reply.
Just then the folding doors opened and Nippers approached. He seemed suffering from an unusually bad night's rest, induced by severer indigestion than common. He overheard those final words of Bartleby.
"Prefer not, eh?" gritted Nippers -- "I'd prefer him, if I were you, sir," addressing me -- "I'd prefer him; I'd give him preferences, the stubborn mule! What is it, sir, pray, that he prefers not to do now?"
Bartleby moved not a limb.
"Mr. Nippers," said I, "I'd prefer that you would withdraw for the present."
Somehow, of late, I had got into the way of involuntarily using this word "prefer" upon all sorts of not exactly suitable occasions. And I trembled to think that my contact with the scrivener had already and seriously affected me in a mental way. And what further and deeper aberration might it not yet produce? This apprehension had not been without efficacy in determining me to summary measures.
As Nippers, looking very sour and sulky, was departing, Turkey blandly and deferentially approached.
"With submission, sir," said he, "yesterday I was thinking about Bartleby here, and I think that if he would but prefer to take a quart of good ale every day, it would do much towards mending him, and enabling him to assist in examining his papers."
"So you have got the word, too," said I, slightly excited.
"With submission, the word, sir?" asked Turkey, respectfully crowding himself into the contracted space behind the screen, and by so doing making me jostle the scrivener. "What word, sir?"
"I would prefer to be left alone here," said Bartleby, as if offended at being mobbed in his privacy.
"That's the word, Turkey," said I -- "that's it."
"Oh, prefer? oh yes -- queer word. I never use it myself. But, sir, as I was saying, if he would but prefer -- "
"Turkey," interrupted I, "you will please withdraw."
"Oh certainly, sir, if you prefer that I should."
As he opened the folding door to retire, Nippers at his desk caught a glimpse of me, and asked whether I would prefer to have a certain paper copied on blue paper or white. He did not in the least roguishly accent the word prefer. It was plain -- that it involuntarily rolled from his tongue. I thought to myself, surely I must get rid of a demented man, who already has in some degree turned the tongues, if not the heads, of myself and clerks. But I thought it prudent not to break the dismission at once.
The next day I noticed that Bartleby did nothing but stand at his window in his dead-wall reverie. Upon asking him why he did not write, he said that he had decided upon doing no more writing.
"Why, how now? what next?" exclaimed I, "do no more writing?"
"No more."
"And what is the reason?"
"Do you not see the reason for yourself?" he indifferently replied.
I looked steadfastly at him, and perceived that his eyes looked dull and glazed. Instantly it occurred to me that his unexampled diligence in copying by his dim window for the first few weeks of his stay with me might have temporarily impaired his vision.
I was touched. I said something in condolence with him, I hinted that of course he did wisely in abstaining from writing for a while; and urged him to embrace that opportunity of taking wholesome exercise in the open air. This, however, he did not do. A few days after this, my other clerks being absent, and being in a great hurry to dispatch certain letters by the mail, I thought that, having nothing else earthly to do, Bartleby would surely be less inflexible than usual, and carry these letters to the Post Office. But he blankly declined. So, much to my inconvenience, I went myself.
Still added days went by. Whether Bartleby's eyes improved or not, I could not say. To all appearance, I thought they did. But when I asked him if they did, he vouchsafed no answer. At all events, he would do no copying. At last, in reply to my urgings, he informed me that he had permanently given up copying.
"What!" exclaimed I; "suppose your eyes should get entirely well -- better than ever before -- would you not copy then?"
"I have given up copying," he answered, and slid aside.
He remained as ever, a fixture in my chamber. Nay -- if that were possible - - he became still more of a fixture than before. What was to be done? He would do nothing in the office; why should he stay there? In plain fact, he had now become a millstone to me, not only useless as a necklace, but afflictive to bear. Yet I was sorry for him. I speak less than truth when I say that, on his own account, he occasioned me uneasiness. If he would but have named a single relative or friend, I would instantly have written and urged their taking the poor fellow away to some convenient retreat. But he seemed alone, absolutely alone in the universe. A bit of wreck in the mid- Atlantic. At length, necessities connected with my business tyrannized over all other considerations. Decently as I could, I told Bartleby that in six days' time he must unconditionally leave the office. I warned him to take measures, in the interval, for procuring some other abode. I offered to assist him in this endeavor, if he himself would take the first step towards a removal. And when you finally quit me, Bartleby," added I, "I shall see that you go not away entirely unprovided. Six days from this hour, remember."
At the expiration of that period, I peeped behind the screen, and lo! Bartleby was there.
I buttoned up my coat, balanced myself, advanced slowly towards him, touched his shoulder, and said, "The time has come; you must quit this place; I am sorry for you; here is money; but you must go."
"I would prefer not," he replied, with his back still towards me.
"You must."
He remained silent.
Now I had an unbounded confidence in this man's common honesty. He had frequently restored to me sixpences and shillings carelessly dropped upon the floor, for I am apt to be very reckless in such shirt-button affairs. The proceeding, then, which followed will not be deemed extraordinary.
"Bartleby," said I, "I owe you twelve dollars on account; here are thirty- two; the odd twenty are yours -- Will you take it?" and I handed the bills towards him.
But he made no motion.
"I will leave them here, then," putting them under a weight on the table. Then taking my hat and cane and going to the door, I tranquilly turned and added -- "After you have removed your things from these offices, Bartleby, you will of course lock the door -- since everyone is now gone for the day but you -- and if you please, slip your key underneath the mat, so that I may have it in the morning. I shall not see you again; so good-bye to you. If, hereafter, in your new place of abode, I can be of any service to you, do not fail to advise me by letter. Good-bye, Bartleby, and fare you well."
But he answered not a word; like the last column of some ruined temple, he remained standing mute and solitary in the middle of the otherwise deserted room.
Chapter 3
As I walked home in a pensive mood, my vanity got the better of my pity. I could not but highly plume myself on my masterly management in getting rid of Bartleby. Masterly I call it, and such it must appear to any dispassionate thinker. The beauty of my procedure seemed to consist in its perfect quietness. There was no vulgar bullying, no bravado of any sort, no choleric hectoring and striding to and fro across the apartment, jerking out vehement commands for Bartleby to bundle himself off with his beggarly traps. Nothing of the kind. Without loudly bidding Bartleby depart -- as an inferior genius might have done -- I assumed the ground that depart he must, and upon that assumption built all I had to say. The more I thought over my procedure, the more I was charmed with it. Nevertheless, next morning, upon awakening, I had my doubts -- I had somehow slept off the fumes of vanity. One of the coolest and wisest hours a man has is just after he awakes in the morning. My procedure seemed as sagacious as ever -- but only in theory. How it would prove in practice -- there was the rub. It was truly a beautiful thought to have assumed Bartleby's departure; but, after all, that assumption was simply my own, and none of Bartleby's. The great point was, not whether I had assumed that he would quit me, but whether he would prefer so to do. He was more a man of preferences than assumptions.
After breakfast, I walked downtown, arguing the probabilities pro and con. One moment I thought it would prove a miserable failure, and Bartleby would be found all alive at my office as usual; the next moment it seemed certain that I should find his chair empty. And so I kept veering about. At the corner of Broadway and Canal Street, I saw quite an excited group of people standing in earnest conversation.
"I'll take odds he doesn't," said a voice as I passed.
"Doesn't go? -- done!" said I, "put up your money."
I was instinctively putting my hand in my pocket to produce my own, when I remembered that this was an election day. The words I had overheard bore no reference to Bartleby but to the success or nonsuccess of some candidate for the mayoralty. In my intent frame of mind, I had, as it were, imagined that all Broadway shared in my excitement, and were debating the same question with me. I passed on, very thankful that the uproar of the street screened my momentary absent-mindedness.
As I had intended, I was earlier than usual at my office door. I stood listening for a moment. All was still. He must be gone. I tried the knob. The door was locked. Yes, my procedure had worked to a charm; he indeed must be vanished. Yet a certain melancholy mixed with this: I was almost sorry for my brilliant success. I was fumbling under the door mat for the key, which Bartleby was to have left there for me, when accidentally my knee knocked against a panel, producing a summoning sound, and in response a voice came to me from within -- "Not yet; I am occupied."
It was Bartleby.
I was thunderstruck. For an instant I stood like the man who, pipe in mouth, was killed one cloudless afternoon long ago in Virginia by summer lightning; at his own warm open window he was killed, and remained leaning out there upon the dreamy afternoon, till someone touched him, when he fell.
"Not gone!" I murmured at last. But again obeying that wondrous ascendancy which the inscrutable scrivener had over me, and from which ascendancy, for all my chafing, I could not completely escape, I slowly went downstairs and out into the street, and while walking round the block considered what I should next do in this unheard-of perplexity. Turn the man out by an actual thrusting I could not; to drive him away by calling him hard names would not do; calling in the police was an unpleasant idea; and yet, permit him to enjoy his cadaverous triumph over me -- this, too, I could not think of. What was to be done? or, if nothing could be done, was there anything further that I could assume in the matter? Yes, as before I had prospectively assumed that Bartleby would depart, so now I might retrospectively assume that departed he was. In the legitimate carrying out of this assumption I might enter my office in a great hurry, and, pretending not to see Bartleby at all, walk straight against him as if he were air. Such a proceeding would in a singular degree have the appearance of a home thrust. It was hardly possible that Bartleby could withstand such an application of the doctrine of assumptions. But upon second thoughts the success of the plan seemed rather dubious. I resolved to argue the matter over with him again.
"Bartleby," said I, entering the office, with a quietly severe expression, "I am seriously displeased. I am pained, Bartleby. I had thought better of you. I had imagined you of such a gentlemanly organization that in any delicate dilemma a slight hint would suffice -- in short, an assumption. But it appears I am deceived. Why," I added, unaffectedly starting, "you have not even touched that money yet," pointing to it, just where I had left it the evening previous.
He answered nothing.
"Will you, or will you not, quit me?" I now demanded in a sudden passion, advancing close to him.
"I would prefer not to quit you," he replied, gently emphasizing the not.
"What earthly right have you to stay here? Do you pay any rent? Do you pay my taxes? Or is this property yours?"
He answered nothing.
"Are you ready to go on and write now? Are your eyes recovered? Could you copy a small paper for me this morning? or help examine a few lines? or step round to the Post Office? In a word, will you do anything at all to give a coloring to your refusal to depart the premises?"
He silently retired into his hermitage.
I was now in such a state of nervous resentment that I thought it but prudent to check myself at present from further demonstrations. Bartleby and I were alone. I remembered the tragedy of the unfortunate Adams and the still more unfortunate Colt in the solitary office of the latter; and how poor Colt, being dreadfully incensed by Adams, and imprudently permitting himself to get wildly excited, was at unawares hurried into his fatal act -- an act which certainly no man could possibly deplore more than the actor himself. Often it had occurred to me in my ponderings upon the subject that had that altercation taken place in the public street, or at a private residence, it would not have terminated as it did. It was the circumstance of being alone in a solitary office, upstairs, of a building entirely unhallowed by humanizing domestic associations -- an uncarpeted office, doubtless, of a dusty, haggard sort of appearance -- this it must have been which greatly helped to enhance the irritable desperation of the hapless Colt.
But when this old Adam of resentment rose in me and tempted me concerning Bartleby, I grappled him and threw him. How? Why, simply by recalling the divine injunction: "A new commandment give I unto you, that ye love one another." Yes, this it was that saved me. Aside from higher considerations, charity often operates as a vastly wise and prudent principle -- a great safeguard to its possessor. Men have committed murder for jealousy's sake, and anger's sake, and hatred's sake, and selfishness' sake, and spiritual pride's sake; but no man that ever I heard of ever committed a diabolical murder for sweet charity's sake. Mere self-interest, then, if no better motive can be enlisted, should, especially with high-tempered men, prompt all beings to charity and philanthropy. At any rate, upon the occasion in question, I strove to drown my exasperated feelings towards the scrivener by benevolently construing his conduct. Poor fellow, poor fellow! thought I, he don't mean anything, and besides, he has seen hard times, and ought to be indulged.
I endeavored, also, immediately to occupy myself, and at the same time to comfort my despondency. I tried to fancy that in the course of the morning, at such time as might prove agreeable to him, Bartleby, of his own free accord, would emerge from his hermitage and take up some decided line of march in the direction of the door. But no. Half-past twelve o'clock came; Turkey began to glow in the face, overturn his inkstand, and become generally obstreperous; Nippers abated down into quietude and courtesy; Ginger Nut munched his noon apple; and Bartleby remained standing at his window in one of his profoundest dead-wall reveries. Will it be credited? Ought I to acknowledge it? That afternoon I left the office without saying one further word to him.
Some days now passed during which, at leisure intervals I looked a little into "Edwards on the Will," and "Priestley on Necessity." Under the circumstances, those books induced a salutary feeling. Gradually I slid into the persuasion that these troubles of mine touching the scrivener had been all predestinated from eternity, and Bartleby was billeted upon me for some mysterious purpose of an all-wise Providence, which it was not for a mere mortal like me to fathom. Yes, Bartleby, stay there behind your screen, thought I; I shall persecute you no more; you are harmless and noiseless as any of these old chairs; in short, I never feel so private as when I know you are here. At last I see it, I feel it; I penetrate to the predestinated purpose of my life. I am content. Others may have loftier parts to enact, but my mission in this world, Bartleby, is to furnish you with office room for such period as you may see fit to remain.
I believe that this wise and blessed frame of mind would have continued with me had it not been for the unsolicited and uncharitable remarks obtruded upon me by my professional friends who visited the rooms. But thus it often is that the constant friction of illiberal minds wears out at last the best resolves of the more generous. Though, to be sure, when I reflected upon it it was not strange that people entering my office should be struck by the peculiar aspect of the unaccountable Bartleby, and so be tempted to throw out some sinister observations concerning him. Sometimes an attorney having business with me, and calling at my office, and finding no one but the scrivener there, would undertake to obtain some sort of precise information from him touching my whereabouts; but without heeding his idle talk, Bartleby would remain standing immovable in the middle of the room. So, after comtemplating him in that position for a time, the attorney would depart no wiser than he came.
Also, when a reference was going on, and the room full of lawyers and witnesse
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It's not unusual to have fun with anyone
But when I see you hanging about with anyone
It's not unusual to see me cry
Oh, I wanna die
It's not unusual to go out at any time
But when I see you out and about, it's such a crime
If you should ever want to be loved by anyone
It's not unusual, it happens every day
No matter what you say
You find it happens all the time
Love will never do what you want it to
Why can't this crazy love be mine?
It's not unusual to be mad with anyone
It's not unusual to be sad with anyone
But if I ever find that you've changed at any time
It's not unusual to find out that I'm in love with you
Whoa, oh, oh, oh...
I saw the light on the night that I passed by her window
I saw the flickering shadows of love on her blind
She was my woman
As she decieved me I watched and went out of my mind
My, my, my, Delilah
Why, why, why, Delilah
I could see that girl was no good for me
But I was lost like a slave that no man could free
At break of day when that man drove away, I was waiting
I cross the street to her house and she opened the door
She stood there laughing
I felt the knife in my hand and she laughed no more
My, my, my Delilah
Why, why, why Delilah
So before they come to break down the door
Forgive me Delilah I just couldn't take any more
(insert trumpet solo here)
She stood there laughing
I felt the knife in my hand and she laughed no more
My, my, my, Delilah
Why, why, why, Delilah
So before they come to break down the door
Forgive me Delilah I just couldn't take any more
Forgive me Delilah I just couldn't take any more
The old home town looks the same as I step down from the train,
and there to meet me is my Mama and Papa.
Down the road I look and there runs Mary, hair of gold and lips like cherries.
It's good to touch the green, green grass of home.
Yes, they'll all come to meet me, arms reaching, smiling sweetly.
It's good to touch the green, green grass of home.
The old house is still standing tho' the paint is cracked and dry,
and there's that old oak tree I used to play on.
Down the lane I walk with my sweet Mary, hair of gold and lips like cherries.
It's good to touch the green, green grass of home.
[spoken:]
Then I awake and look around me, at four grey walls that surround me
and I realize, yes, that I was only dreaming.
For there's a guard and there's a sad old padre -
arm in arm we'll walk at daybreak.
Again I touch the green, green grass of home.
Yes, they'll all come to see me in the shade of that old oak tree
as they lay me neath the green, green grass of home.
Aw
Aww baby
Yeah, ooo yeah
Huh!
Listen to this
Spy on me baby, use satellite
Infrared to see me move through the night
Aim, gonna fire, shoot me right
Aim, gonna like the way you fight
And I love the way you fight
Now you found the secret code I use
To wash away my lonely blues
Well, so I can't deny or lie
'Cause you're a
Sex bomb, sex bomb
You're a sex bomb, uh huh
You can give it to me when I need to come along
Give it to me
Sex bomb, sex bomb
You're my sex bomb
And baby, you can turn me on
Baby, you can turn me on
You know what you're doing to me don't you?
Heh heh
I know you do!
No, don't get me wrong
Ain't gonna do you no harm, no
This bomb's made for lovin' and you can shoot it far
I'm your main target, come and help me ignite
Ow!
Lovestruck, holding you tight
Hold me tight darlin'!
Make me explode
Although you know
The route to go to sex me slow
Slow, baby
And yes, I must react to claims of those
Who say that you are not all that
(Hahahaha!)
Sex bomb, sex bomb
You're a sex bomb
You can give it to me when i need to come along
Sex bomb, sex bomb
You're my sex bomb
And baby you can turn me on turn me on darlin'
Sex bomb, sex bomb
You're my sex bomb, sex bomb
You can give it to me when i need to come along
Sex bomb, sex bomb
You're my sex bomb
And baby, you can turn me on
You can give me more and more
Counting up the score
Yeah
You can turn me upside down inside out
You can make me feel the real deal, uh uh
I can give it to you any time because you're mine
Ow!
Ouch!
Sex bomb
Aww, baby
Sex bomb, sex bomb
You're my sex bomb
And you can give it to me when I need to be turned on
No, no
Sex bomb, sex bomb
You're my sex bomb
And baby, you can turn me on turn me on
And baby, you can turn me on turn me on
Baby, you can turn me on turn me on
Ooo baby, you can turn me on turn me on
Baby, you can turn me on, oh
Baby, you can turn me on, oh
Baby, you can turn me on
Well, baby you can turn me on...
You don't have to be beautiful
To turn me on
I just need your body, baby
From dusk till dawn
You don't need experience
To turn me out
You just leave it all up to me
I'll show you what it's all about
You don't have to be rich to be my girl
You don't have to be cool to rule my world
Ain't no particular sign I'm more compatible with
I just want your extra time and your KISS
You got to not talk dirty, baby
If you wanna impress me
You can't be too flirty, mama
I know how to undress me
Let me be your fantasy
Maybe, you could be mine
You just leave it all up to me
We could have a real good time
You don't have to be rich to be my girl
You don't have to be cool to rule my world
Ain't no particular sign I'm more compatible with
I just want your extra time and your KISS
I think I'd better dance now.....
(solo)
Women and girls, rule my world
I said they rule my world
Act your age mama, not your shoe size
Maybe we could do the twirl?
You don't have to watch Dynasty
To have an attitude
You gotta leave it all up to me
My love will be your food
You don't have to be rich to be my girl
You don't have to be cool to rule my world
Ain't no particular sign, I'm more compatible with,
I just want your extra time and your KISS
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JM
Had Mr Morris not wished to have supported his staff i am sure (in fact i am certain) that there are times he could have walked away from numerous ventures, taken the money, and closed the business leaving himself with immense personal wealth.
What i would say to the people moaning is the following: Remember who has paid you for the last, week, month, year or even decade (depending on your length of service) and remember where the money came from.
There are two types of people. The ones that melt in times of adversity and the ones that stand firm and support their business as if it was a family member. My advice would be to stand firm because one thing i can assure you - Morris will be at the top of that tree very very soon and those that treated the business like family will find themselves on a cumfy platform very close to the top of the tree if not at the top with him.
For those of you who opt to take wages AND then spout slanderous lies on this forum - you will be found out in time.
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Come on Jeffrey, you can do better than this
Perhaps it's the winding up of MinorPlanet this week- a company that did well, til Jeffrey stripped it of it's wealth- so he's going to be in the news again.
His dodgy scams must come to an end, as must his exploitation of suppliers and employees alike
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About time people understood the truth
I think we all know the type of people posting on here - parasitical failures. People that just assumed that all you needed was "to be in it to win it". What they quickly established upon being given an opportunity was that they were required to produce results to earn the better money - and they did not like that one little bit. But just to clarify, when I was there these type of people we given chance after chance after chance prior to departing.
As for Minorplanet. I think if you look back (prior to spouting off like one of the failures I mentioned earlier) that MP was a hugely successful business under the direction of Jeffrey and it was only when he decided to leave that the business began floundering. That said, any business / structure would struggle if the foundations were removed.
I will never forget asking Jeffrey when the shares reached £10.12 why he didn't just take his money and run. His answer is testament to the guy he is. He said "Billy, how could I leave this beast now? Look at all the people that are relying on me - what would happen to them? Lets carry on with our only focus on being making the business, and the people involved within it more successful".
I will remember those couple of sentences forever.
KEEP GOING MY FRIEND AND IF YOU EVER NEED ANYTHING YOU KNOW WHERE I AM.
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The Post Above
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Keep going my friend and if you ever need anything you know where i am.....
And as for the whole people being spiteful because they just aren't successful enough is absolute bollox. I graduated with a degree and was offered "The dream," by jeffrey and his 'trusty' side kick dennis. .. Who wouldn't be chuffed with a 15k salary!
As mentioned previously, I worked there for 3 and a half weeks before they turned around and announced in front of a room full of employees, that our basic wage was being withdrawn as of the following week, however all employees would be paid in full for the hours worked already.
Needless to say this "parasitical failure" got herself a new job within a large corporation that same week! and the product is actually worth buying!
I have emails from double wamey offering me less than half of what I'm actually owed : (They wanted me to bend over and say yes)
I accept the cheque for £500 in full and final settlement of services provided to Wamey Ltd upto the end of March ’10.
I am aware that I am liable to pay my own tax and NI
Laughable!
So........ County Court it is then
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Apple, Microsoft, Sun
1An account of the genealogy* of Jesus the Messiah,* the son of David, the son of Abraham.
2 Abraham was the father of Isaac, and Isaac the father of Jacob, and Jacob the father of Judah and his brothers, 3and Judah the father of Perez and Zerah by Tamar, and Perez the father of Hezron, and Hezron the father of Aram, 4and Aram the father of Aminadab, and Aminadab the father of Nahshon, and Nahshon the father of Salmon, 5and Salmon the father of Boaz by Rahab, and Boaz the father of Obed by Ruth, and Obed the father of Jesse, 6and Jesse the father of King David.
And David was the father of Solomon by the wife of Uriah, 7and Solomon the father of Rehoboam, and Rehoboam the father of Abijah, and Abijah the father of Asaph,* 8and Asaph* the father of Jehoshaphat, and Jehoshaphat the father of Joram, and Joram the father of Uzziah, 9and Uzziah the father of Jotham, and Jotham the father of Ahaz, and Ahaz the father of Hezekiah, 10and Hezekiah the father of Manasseh, and Manasseh the father of Amos,* and Amos* the father of Josiah, 11and Josiah the father of Jechoniah and his brothers, at the time of the deportation to Babylon.
12 And after the deportation to Babylon: Jechoniah was the father of Salathiel, and Salathiel the father of Zerubbabel, 13and Zerubbabel the father of Abiud, and Abiud the father of Eliakim, and Eliakim the father of Azor, 14and Azor the father of Zadok, and Zadok the father of Achim, and Achim the father of Eliud, 15and Eliud the father of Eleazar, and Eleazar the father of Matthan, and Matthan the father of Jacob, 16and Jacob the father of Joseph the husband of Mary, of whom Jesus was born, who is called the Messiah.*
17 So all the generations from Abraham to David are fourteen generations; and from David to the deportation to Babylon, fourteen generations; and from the deportation to Babylon to the Messiah,* fourteen generations.
The Birth of Jesus the Messiah
18 Now the birth of Jesus the Messiah* took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been engaged to Joseph, but before they lived together, she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. 19Her husband Joseph, being a righteous man and unwilling to expose her to public disgrace, planned to dismiss her quietly. 20But just when he had resolved to do this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, ‘Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. 21She will bear a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.’ 22All this took place to fulfil what had been spoken by the Lord through the prophet:
23‘Look, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son,
and they shall name him Emmanuel’,
which means, ‘God is with us.’ 24When Joseph awoke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him; he took her as his wife, 25but had no marital relations with her until she had borne a son;* and he named him Jesus.
Matthew 2
The Visit of the Wise Men
2In the time of King Herod, after Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea, wise men* from the East came to Jerusalem, 2asking, ‘Where is the child who has been born king of the Jews? For we observed his star at its rising,* and have come to pay him homage.’ 3When King Herod heard this, he was frightened, and all Jerusalem with him; 4and calling together all the chief priests and scribes of the people, he inquired of them where the Messiah* was to be born. 5They told him, ‘In Bethlehem of Judea; for so it has been written by the prophet:
6“And you, Bethlehem, in the land of Judah,
are by no means least among the rulers of Judah;
for from you shall come a ruler
who is to shepherd* my people Israel.†’
7 Then Herod secretly called for the wise men* and learned from them the exact time when the star had appeared. 8Then he sent them to Bethlehem, saying, ‘Go and search diligently for the child; and when you have found him, bring me word so that I may also go and pay him homage.’ 9When they had heard the king, they set out; and there, ahead of them, went the star that they had seen at its rising,* until it stopped over the place where the child was. 10When they saw that the star had stopped,* they were overwhelmed with joy. 11On entering the house, they saw the child with Mary his mother; and they knelt down and paid him homage. Then, opening their treasure-chests, they offered him gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh. 12And having been warned in a dream not to return to Herod, they left for their own country by another road.
The Escape to Egypt
13 Now after they had left, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, ‘Get up, take the child and his mother, and flee to Egypt, and remain there until I tell you; for Herod is about to search for the child, to destroy him.’ 14Then Joseph* got up, took the child and his mother by night, and went to Egypt, 15and remained there until the death of Herod. This was to fulfil what had been spoken by the Lord through the prophet, ‘Out of Egypt I have called my son.’
The Massacre of the Infants
16 When Herod saw that he had been tricked by the wise men,* he was infuriated, and he sent and killed all the children in and around Bethlehem who were two years old or under, according to the time that he had learned from the wise men.* 17Then was fulfilled what had been spoken through the prophet Jeremiah:
18‘A voice was heard in Ramah,
wailing and loud lamentation,
Rachel weeping for her children;
she refused to be consoled, because they are no more.’
The Return from Egypt
19 When Herod died, an angel of the Lord suddenly appeared in a dream to Joseph in Egypt and said, 20‘Get up, take the child and his mother, and go to the land of Israel, for those who were seeking the child’s life are dead.’ 21Then Joseph* got up, took the child and his mother, and went to the land of Israel. 22But when he heard that Archelaus was ruling over Judea in place of his father Herod, he was afraid to go there. And after being warned in a dream, he went away to the district of Galilee. 23There he made his home in a town called Nazareth, so that what had been spoken through the prophets might be fulfilled, ‘He will be called a Nazorean.’
Matthew 3
The Proclamation of John the Baptist
3In those days John the Baptist appeared in the wilderness of Judea, proclaiming, 2‘Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near.’* 3This is the one of whom the prophet Isaiah spoke when he said,
‘The voice of one crying out in the wilderness:
“Prepare the way of the Lord,
make his paths straight.†’
4Now John wore clothing of camel’s hair with a leather belt around his waist, and his food was locusts and wild honey. 5Then the people of Jerusalem and all Judea were going out to him, and all the region along the Jordan, 6and they were baptized by him in the river Jordan, confessing their sins.
7 But when he saw many Pharisees and Sadducees coming for baptism, he said to them, ‘You brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the wrath to come? 8Bear fruit worthy of repentance. 9Do not presume to say to yourselves, “We have Abraham as our ancestorâ€; for I tell you, God is able from these stones to raise up children to Abraham. 10Even now the axe is lying at the root of the trees; every tree therefore that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire.
11 ‘I baptize you with* water for repentance, but one who is more powerful than I is coming after me; I am not worthy to carry his sandals. He will baptize you with* the Holy Spirit and fire. 12His winnowing-fork is in his hand, and he will clear his threshing-floor and will gather his wheat into the granary; but the chaff he will burn with unquenchable fire.’
The Baptism of Jesus
13 Then Jesus came from Galilee to John at the Jordan, to be baptized by him. 14John would have prevented him, saying, ‘I need to be baptized by you, and do you come to me?’ 15But Jesus answered him, ‘Let it be so now; for it is proper for us in this way to fulfil all righteousness.’ Then he consented. 16And when Jesus had been baptized, just as he came up from the water, suddenly the heavens were opened to him and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and alighting on him. 17And a voice from heaven said, ‘This is my Son, the Beloved,* with whom I am well pleased.’
Matthew 4
The Temptation of Jesus
4Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. 2He fasted for forty days and forty nights, and afterwards he was famished. 3The tempter came and said to him, ‘If you are the Son of God, command these stones to become loaves of bread.’ 4But he answered, ‘It is written,
“One does not live by bread alone,
but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.†’
5 Then the devil took him to the holy city and placed him on the pinnacle of the temple, 6saying to him, ‘If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down; for it is written,
“He will command his angels concerning youâ€,
and “On their hands they will bear you up,
so that you will not dash your foot against a stone.†’
7Jesus said to him, ‘Again it is written, “Do not put the Lord your God to the test.†’
8 Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendour; 9and he said to him, ‘All these I will give you, if you will fall down and worship me.’ 10Jesus said to him, ‘Away with you, Satan! for it is written,
“Worship the Lord your God,
and serve only him.†’
11Then the devil left him, and suddenly angels came and waited on him.
Jesus Begins His Ministry in Galilee
12 Now when Jesus* heard that John had been arrested, he withdrew to Galilee. 13He left Nazareth and made his home in Capernaum by the lake, in the territory of Zebulun and Naphtali, 14so that what had been spoken through the prophet Isaiah might be fulfilled:
15‘Land of Zebulun, land of Naphtali,
on the road by the sea, across the Jordan, Galilee of the Gentiles—
16the people who sat in darkness
have seen a great light,
and for those who sat in the region and shadow of death
light has dawned.’
17From that time Jesus began to proclaim, ‘Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near.’*
Jesus Calls the First Disciples
18 As he walked by the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon, who is called Peter, and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the lake—for they were fishermen. 19And he said to them, ‘Follow me, and I will make you fish for people.’ 20Immediately they left their nets and followed him. 21As he went from there, he saw two other brothers, James son of Zebedee and his brother John, in the boat with their father Zebedee, mending their nets, and he called them. 22Immediately they left the boat and their father, and followed him.
Jesus Ministers to Crowds of People
23 Jesus* went throughout Galilee, teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the good news* of the kingdom and curing every disease and every sickness among the people. 24So his fame spread throughout all Syria, and they brought to him all the sick, those who were afflicted with various diseases and pains, demoniacs, epileptics, and paralytics, and he cured them. 25And great crowds followed him from Galilee, the Decapolis, Jerusalem, Judea, and from beyond the Jordan.
Matthew 5
The Beatitudes
5When Jesus* saw the crowds, he went up the mountain; and after he sat down, his disciples came to him. 2Then he began to speak, and taught them, saying:
3 ‘Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4 ‘Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
5 ‘Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
6 ‘Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
7 ‘Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy.
8 ‘Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
9 ‘Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
10 ‘Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11 ‘Blessed are you when people revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely* on my account. 12Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
Salt and Light
13 ‘You are the salt of the earth; but if salt has lost its taste, how can its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything, but is thrown out and trampled under foot.
14 ‘You are the light of the world. A city built on a hill cannot be hidden. 15No one after lighting a lamp puts it under the bushel basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all in the house. 16In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven.
The Law and the Prophets
17 ‘Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets; I have come not to abolish but to fulfil. 18For truly I tell you, until heaven and earth pass away, not one letter,* not one stroke of a letter, will pass from the law until all is accomplished. 19Therefore, whoever breaks* one of the least of these commandments, and teaches others to do the same, will be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever does them and teaches them will be called great in the kingdom of heaven. 20For I tell you, unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.
Concerning Anger
21 ‘You have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, “You shall not murderâ€; and “whoever murders shall be liable to judgement.†22But I say to you that if you are angry with a brother or sister,* you will be liable to judgement; and if you insult* a brother or sister,* you will be liable to the council; and if you say, “You foolâ€, you will be liable to the hell* of fire. 23So when you are offering your gift at the altar, if you remember that your brother or sister* has something against you, 24leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother or sister,* and then come and offer your gift. 25Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are on the way to court* with him, or your accuser may hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you will be thrown into prison. 26Truly I tell you, you will never get out until you have paid the last penny.
Concerning Adultery
27 ‘You have heard that it was said, “You shall not commit adultery.†28But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away; it is better for you to lose one of your members than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.* 30And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away; it is better for you to lose one of your members than for your whole body to go into hell.*
Concerning Divorce
31 ‘It was also said, “Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.†32But I say to you that anyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of unchastity, causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
Concerning Oaths
33 ‘Again, you have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, “You shall not swear falsely, but carry out the vows you have made to the Lord.†34But I say to you, Do not swear at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, 35or by the earth, for it is his footstool, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. 36And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. 37Let your word be “Yes, Yes†or “No, Noâ€; anything more than this comes from the evil one.*
Concerning Retaliation
38 ‘You have heard that it was said, “An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.†39But I say to you, Do not resist an evildoer. But if anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other also; 40and if anyone wants to sue you and take your coat, give your cloak as well; 41and if anyone forces you to go one mile, go also the second mile. 42Give to everyone who begs from you, and do not refuse anyone who wants to borrow from you.
Love for Enemies
43 ‘You have heard that it was said, “You shall love your neighbour and hate your enemy.†44But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45so that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous. 46For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax-collectors do the same? 47And if you greet only your brothers and sisters,* what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? 48Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
Matthew 6
Concerning Almsgiving
6‘Beware of practising your piety before others in order to be seen by them; for then you have no reward from your Father in heaven.
2 ‘So whenever you give alms, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, so that they may be praised by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. 3But when you give alms, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4so that your alms may be done in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.*
Concerning Prayer
5 ‘And whenever you pray, do not be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, so that they may be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. 6But whenever you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.*
7 ‘When you are praying, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do; for they think that they will be heard because of their many words. 8Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.
9 ‘Pray then in this way:
Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name.
10 Your kingdom come.
Your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
11 Give us this day our daily bread.*
12 And forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
13 And do not bring us to the time of trial,*
but rescue us from the evil one.*
14For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; 15but if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
Concerning Fasting
16 ‘And whenever you fast, do not look dismal, like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces so as to show others that they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. 17But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, 18so that your fasting may be seen not by others but by your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.*
Concerning Treasures
19 ‘Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust* consume and where thieves break in and steal; 20but store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust* consumes and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
The Sound Eye
22 ‘The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light; 23but if your eye is unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!
Serving Two Masters
24 ‘No one can serve two masters; for a slave will either hate the one and love the other, or be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and wealth.*
Do Not Worry
25 ‘Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink,* or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27And can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life?* 28And why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin, 29yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not clothed like one of these. 30But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31Therefore do not worry, saying, “What will we eat?†or “What will we drink?†or “What will we wear?†32For it is the Gentiles who strive for all these things; and indeed your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33But strive first for the kingdom of God* and his* righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
34 ‘So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today’s trouble is enough for today.
Matthew 7
Judging Others
7‘Do not judge, so that you may not be judged. 2For with the judgement you make you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get. 3Why do you see the speck in your neighbour’s* eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye? 4Or how can you say to your neighbour,* “Let me take the speck out of your eyeâ€, while the log is in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbour’s* eye.
Profaning the Holy
6 ‘Do not give what is holy to dogs; and do not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them under foot and turn and maul you.
Ask, Search, Knock
7 ‘Ask, and it will be given to you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you. 8For everyone who asks receives, and everyone who searches finds, and for everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. 9Is there anyone among you who, if your child asks for bread, will give a stone? 10Or if the child asks for a fish, will give a snake? 11If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask him!
The Golden Rule
12 ‘In everything do to others as you would have them do to you; for this is the law and the prophets.
The Narrow Gate
13 ‘Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the road is easy* that leads to destruction, and there are many who take it. 14For the gate is narrow and the road is hard that leads to life, and there are few who find it.
A Tree and Its Fruit
15 ‘Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. 16You will know them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thorns, or figs from thistles? 17In the same way, every good tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit. 18A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. 19Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20Thus you will know them by their fruits.
Concerning Self-Deception
21 ‘Not everyone who says to me, “Lord, Lordâ€, will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only one who does the will of my Father in heaven. 22On that day many will say to me, “Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many deeds of power in your name?†23Then I will declare to them, “I never knew you; go away from me, you evildoers.â€
Hearers and Doers
24 ‘Everyone then who hears these words of mine and acts on them will be like a wise man who built his house on rock. 25The rain fell, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on rock. 26And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not act on them will be like a foolish man who built his house on sand. 27The rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell—and great was its fall!’
28 Now when Jesus had finished saying these things, the crowds were astounded at his teaching, 29for he taught them as one having authority, and not as their scribes.
Matthew 8
Jesus Cleanses a Leper
8When Jesus* had come down from the mountain, great crowds followed him; 2and there was a leper* who came to him and knelt before him, saying, ‘Lord, if you choose, you can make me clean.’ 3He stretched out his hand and touched him, saying, ‘I do choose. Be made clean!’ Immediately his leprosy* was cleansed. 4Then Jesus said to him, ‘See that you say nothing to anyone; but go, show yourself to the priest, and offer the gift that Moses commanded, as a testimony to them.’
Jesus Heals a Centurion’s Servant
5 When he entered Capernaum, a centurion came to him, appealing to him 6and saying, ‘Lord, my servant is lying at home paralysed, in terrible distress.’ 7And he said to him, ‘I will come and cure him.’ 8The centurion answered, ‘Lord, I am not worthy to have you come under my roof; but only speak the word, and my servant will be healed. 9For I also am a man under authority, with soldiers under me; and I say to one, “Goâ€, and he goes, and to another, “Comeâ€, and he comes, and to my slave, “Do thisâ€, and the slave does it.’ 10When Jesus heard him, he was amazed and said to those who followed him, ‘Truly I tell you, in no one* in Israel have I found such faith. 11I tell you, many will come from east and west and will eat with Abraham and Isaac and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven, 12while the heirs of the kingdom will be thrown into the outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’ 13And to the centurion Jesus said, ‘Go; let it be done for you according to your faith.’ And the servant was healed in that hour.
Jesus Heals Many at Peter’s House
14 When Jesus entered Peter’s house, he saw his mother-in-law lying in bed with a fever; 15he touched her hand, and the fever left her, and she got up and began to serve him. 16That evening they brought to him many who were possessed by demons; and he cast out the spirits with a word, and cured all who were sick. 17This was to fulfil what had been spoken through the prophet Isaiah, ‘He took our infirmities and bore our diseases.’
Would-Be Followers of Jesus
18 Now when Jesus saw great crowds around him, he gave orders to go over to the other side. 19A scribe then approached and said, ‘Teacher, I will follow you wherever you go.’ 20And Jesus said to him, ‘Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests; but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.’ 21Another of his disciples said to him, ‘Lord, first let me go and bury my father.’ 22But Jesus said to him, ‘Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead.’
Jesus Stills the Storm
23 And when he got into the boat, his disciples followed him. 24A gale arose on the lake, so great that the boat was being swamped by the waves; but he was asleep. 25And they went and woke him up, saying, ‘Lord, save us! We are perishing!’ 26And he said to them, ‘Why are you afraid, you of little faith?’ Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the sea; and there was a dead calm. 27They were amazed, saying, ‘What sort of man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey him?’
Jesus Heals the Gadarene Demoniacs
28 When he came to the other side, to the country of the Gadarenes,* two demoniacs coming out of the tombs met him. They were so fierce that no one could pass that way. 29Suddenly they shouted, ‘What have you to do with us, Son of God? Have you come here to torment us before the time?’ 30Now a large herd of swine was feeding at some distance from them. 31The demons begged him, ‘If you cast us out, send us into the herd of swine.’ 32And he said to them, ‘Go!’ So they came out and entered the swine; and suddenly, the whole herd rushed down the steep bank into the lake and perished in the water. 33The swineherds ran off, and on going into the town, they told the whole story about what had happened to the demoniacs. 34Then the whole town came out to meet Jesus; and when they saw him, they begged him to leave their neighbourhood.
Matthew 9
91And after getting into a boat he crossed the water and came to his own town.
Jesus Heals a Paralytic
2 And just then some people were carrying a paralysed man lying on a bed. When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, ‘Take heart, son; your sins are forgiven.’ 3Then some of the scribes said to themselves, ‘This man is blaspheming.’ 4But Jesus, perceiving their thoughts, said, ‘Why do you think evil in your hearts? 5For which is easier, to say, “Your sins are forgivenâ€, or to say, “Stand up and walkâ€? 6But so that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins’—he then said to the paralytic—‘Stand up, take your bed and go to your home.’ 7And he stood up and went to his home. 8When the crowds saw it, they were filled with awe, and they glorified God, who had given such authority to human beings.
The Calling of Matthew
9 As Jesus was walking along, he saw a man called Matthew sitting at the tax booth; and he said to him, ‘Follow me.’ And he got up and followed him.
10 And as he sat at dinner* in the house, many tax-collectors and sinners came and were sitting* with him and his disciples. 11When the Pharisees saw this, they said to his disciples, ‘Why does your teacher eat with tax-collectors and sinners?’ 12But when he heard this, he said, ‘Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. 13Go and learn what this means, “I desire mercy, not sacrifice.†For I have come to call not the righteous but sinners.’
The Question about Fasting
14 Then the disciples of John came to him, saying, ‘Why do we and the Pharisees fast often,* but your disciples do not fast?’ 15And Jesus said to them, ‘The wedding-guests cannot mourn as long as the bridegroom is with them, can they? The days will come when the bridegroom is taken away from them, and then they will fast. 16No one sews a piece of unshrunk cloth on an old cloak, for the patch pulls away from the cloak, and a worse tear is made. 17Neither is new wine put into old wineskins; otherwise, the skins burst, and the wine is spilled, and the skins are destroyed; but new wine is put into fresh wineskins, and so both are preserved.’
A Girl Restored to Life and a Woman Healed
18 While he was saying these things to them, suddenly a leader of the synagogue* came in and knelt before him, saying, ‘My daughter has just died; but come and lay your hand on her, and she will live.’ 19And Jesus got up and followed him, with his disciples. 20Then suddenly a woman who had been suffering from haemorrhages for twelve years came up behind him and touched the fringe of his cloak, 21for she said to herself, ‘If I only touch his cloak, I will be made well.’ 22Jesus turned, and seeing her he said, ‘Take heart, daughter; your faith has made you well.’ And instantly the woman was made well. 23When Jesus came to the leader’s house and saw the flute-players and the crowd making a commotion, 24he said, ‘Go away; for the girl is not dead but sleeping.’ And they laughed at him. 25But when the crowd had been put outside, he went in and took her by the hand, and the girl got up. 26And the report of this spread throughout that district.
Jesus Heals Two Blind Men
27 As Jesus went on from there, two blind men followed him, crying loudly, ‘Have mercy on us, Son of David!’ 28When he entered the house, the blind men came to him; and Jesus said to them, ‘Do you believe that I am able to do this?’ They said to him, ‘Yes, Lord.’ 29Then he touched their eyes and said, ‘According to your faith let it be done to you.’ 30And their eyes were opened. Then Jesus sternly ordered them, ‘See that no one knows of this.’ 31But they went away and spread the news about him throughout that district.
Jesus Heals One Who Was Mute
32 After they had gone away, a demoniac who was mute was brought to him. 33And when the demon had been cast out, the one who had been mute spoke; and the crowds were amazed and said, ‘Never has anything like this been seen in Israel.’ 34But the Pharisees said, ‘By the ruler of the demons he casts out the demons.’*
The Harvest Is Great, the Labourers Few
35 Then Jesus went about all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues, and proclaiming the good news of the kingdom, and curing every disease and every sickness. 36When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. 37Then he said to his disciples, ‘The harvest is plentiful, but the labourers are few; 38therefore ask the Lord of the harvest to send out labourers into his harvest.’
Matthew 10
The Twelve Apostles
10Then Jesus* summoned his twelve disciples and gave them authority over unclean spirits, to cast them out, and to cure every disease and every sickness. 2These are the names of the twelve apostles: first, Simon, also known as Peter, and his brother Andrew; James son of Zebedee, and his brother John; 3Philip and Bartholomew; Thomas and Matthew the tax-collector; James son of Alphaeus, and Thaddaeus;* 4Simon the Cananaean, and Judas Iscariot, the one who betrayed him.
The Mission of the Twelve
5 These twelve Jesus sent out with the following instructions: ‘Go nowhere among the Gentiles, and enter no town of the Samaritans, 6but go rather to the lost sheep of the house of Israel. 7As you go, proclaim the good news, “The kingdom of heaven has come near.â€* 8Cure the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers,* cast out demons. You received without payment; give without payment. 9Take no gold, or silver, or copper in your belts, 10no bag for your journey, or two tunics, or sandals, or a staff; for labourers deserve their food. 11Whatever town or village you enter, find out who in it is worthy, and stay there until you leave. 12As you enter the house, greet it. 13If the house is worthy, let your peace come upon it; but if it is not worthy, let your peace return to you. 14If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, shake off the dust from your feet as you leave that house or town. 15Truly I tell you, it will be more tolerable for the land of Sodom and Gomorrah on the day of judgement than for that town.
Coming Persecutions
16 ‘See, I am sending you out like sheep into the midst of wolves; so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves. 17Beware of them, for they will hand you over to councils and flog you in their synagogues; 18and you will be dragged before governors and kings because of me, as a testimony to them and the Gentiles. 19When they hand you over, do not worry about how you are to speak or what you are to say; for what you are to say will be given to you at that time; 20for it is not you who speak, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you. 21Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child, and children will rise against parents and have them put to death; 22and you will be hated by all because of my name. But the one who endures to the end will be saved. 23When they persecute you in one town, flee to the next; for truly I tell you, you will not have gone through all the towns of Israel before the Son of Man comes.
24 ‘A disciple is not above the teacher, nor a slave above the master; 25it is enough for the disciple to be like the teacher, and the slave like the master. If they have called the master of the house Beelzebul, how much more will they malign those of his household!
Whom to Fear
26 ‘So have no fear of them; for nothing is covered up that will not be uncovered, and nothing secret that will not become known. 27What I say to you in the dark, tell in the light; and what you hear whispered, proclaim from the housetops. 28Do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul; rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell.* 29Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground unperceived by your Father. 30And even the hairs of your head are all counted. 31So do not be afraid; you are of more value than many sparrows.
32 ‘Everyone therefore who acknowledges me before others, I also will acknowledge before my Father in heaven; 33but whoever denies me before others, I also will deny before my Father in heaven.
Not Peace, but a Sword
34 ‘Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth; I have not come to bring peace, but a sword.
35For I have come to set a man against his father,
and a daughter against her mother,
and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law;
36and one’s foes will be members of one’s own household.
37Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; 38and whoever does not take up the cross and follow me is not worthy of me. 39Those who find their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will find it.
Rewards
40 ‘Whoever welcomes you welcomes me, and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me. 41Whoever welcomes a prophet in the name of a prophet will receive a prophet’s reward; and whoever welcomes a righteous person in the name of a righteous person will receive the reward of the righteous; 42and whoever gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones in the name of a disciple—truly I tell you, none of these will lose their reward.’
Matthew 11
11Now when Jesus had finished instructing his twelve disciples, he went on from there to teach and proclaim his message in their cities.
Messengers from John the Baptist
2 When John heard in prison what the Messiah* was doing, he sent word by his* disciples 3and said to him, ‘Are you the one who is to come, or are we to wait for another?’ 4Jesus answered them, ‘Go and tell John what you hear and see: 5the blind receive their sight, the lame walk, the lepers* are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the poor have good news brought to them. 6And blessed is anyone who takes no offence at me.’
Jesus Praises John the Baptist
7 As they went away, Jesus began to speak to the crowds about John: ‘What did you go out into the wilderness to look at? A reed shaken by the wind? 8What then did you go out to see? Someone* dressed in soft robes? Look, those who wear soft robes are in royal palaces. 9What then did you go out to see? A prophet?* Yes, I tell you, and more than a prophet. 10This is the one about whom it is written,
“See, I am sending my messenger ahead of you,
who will prepare your way before you.â€
11Truly I tell you, among those born of women no one has arisen greater than John the Baptist; yet the least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he. 12From the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven has suffered violence,* and the violent take it by force. 13For all the prophets and the law prophesied until John came; 14and if you are willing to accept it, he is Elijah who is to come. 15Let anyone with ears* listen!
16 ‘But to what will I compare this generation? It is like children sitting in the market-places and calling to one another,
17“We played the flute for you, and you did not dance;
we wailed, and you did not mourn.â€
18For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, “He has a demonâ€; 19the Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, “Look, a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax-collectors and sinners!†Yet wisdom is vindicated by her deeds.’*
Woes to Unrepentant Cities
20 Then he began to reproach the cities in which most of his deeds of power had been done, because they did not repent. 21‘Woe to you, Chorazin! Woe to you, Bethsaida! For if the deeds of power done in you had been done in Tyre and Sidon, they would have repented long ago in sackcloth and ashes. 22But I tell you, on the day of judgement it will be more tolerable for Tyre and Sidon than for you. 23And you, Capernaum,
will you be exalted to heaven?
No, you will be brought down to Hades.
For if the deeds of power done in you had been done in Sodom, it would have remained until this day. 24But I tell you that on the day of judgement it will be more tolerable for the land of Sodom than for you.’
Jesus Thanks His Father
25 At that time Jesus said, ‘I thank* you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and the intelligent and have revealed them to infants; 26yes, Father, for such was your gracious will.* 27All things have been handed over to me by my Father; and no one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son chooses to reveal him.
28 ‘Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.’
Matthew 12
Plucking Grain on the Sabbath
12At that time Jesus went through the cornfields on the sabbath; his disciples were hungry, and they began to pluck heads of grain and to eat. 2When the Pharisees saw it, they said to him, ‘Look, your disciples are doing what is not lawful to do on the sabbath.’ 3He said to them, ‘Have you not read what David did when he and his companions were hungry? 4He entered the house of God and ate the bread of the Presence, which it was not lawful for him or his companions to eat, but only for the priests. 5Or have you not read in the law that on the sabbath the priests in the temple break the sabbath and yet are guiltless? 6I tell you, something greater than the temple is here. 7But if you had known what this means, “I desire mercy and not sacrificeâ€, you would not have condemned the guiltless. 8For the Son of Man is lord of the sabbath.’
The Man with a Withered Hand
9 He left that place and entered their synagogue; 10a man was there with a withered hand, and they asked him, ‘Is it lawful to cure on the sabbath?’ so that they might accuse him. 11He said to them, ‘Suppose one of you has only one sheep and it falls into a pit on the sabbath; will you not lay hold of it and lift it out? 12How much more valuable is a human being than a sheep! So it is lawful to do good on the sabbath.’ 13Then he said to the man, ‘Stretch out your hand.’ He stretched it out, and it was restored, as sound as the other. 14But the Pharisees went out and conspired against him, how to destroy him.
God’s Chosen Servant
15 When Jesus became aware of this, he departed. Many crowds* followed him, and he cured all of them, 16and he ordered them not to make him known. 17This was to fulfil what had been spoken through the prophet Isaiah:
18‘Here is my servant, whom I have chosen,
my beloved, with whom my soul is well pleased.
I will put my Spirit upon him,
and he will proclaim justice to the Gentiles.
19He will not wrangle or cry aloud,
nor will anyone hear his voice in the streets.
20He will not break a bruised reed
or quench a smouldering wick
until he brings justice to victory.
21 And in his name the Gentiles will hope.’
Jesus and Beelzebul
22 Then they brought to him a demoniac who was blind and mute; and he cured him, so that the one who had been mute could speak and see. 23All the crowds were amazed and said, ‘Can this be the Son of David?’ 24But when the Pharisees heard it, they said, ‘It is only by Beelzebul, the ruler of the demons, that this fellow casts out the demons.’ 25He knew what they were thinking and said to them, ‘Every kingdom divided against itself is laid waste, and no city or house divided against itself will stand. 26If Satan casts out Satan, he is divided against himself; how then will his kingdom stand? 27If I cast out demons by Beelzebul, by whom do your own exorcists* cast them out? Therefore they will be your judges. 28But if it is by the Spirit of God that I cast out demons, then the kingdom of God has come to you. 29Or how can one enter a strong man’s house and plunder his property, without first tying up the strong man? Then indeed the house can be plundered. 30Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters. 31Therefore I tell you, people will be forgiven for every sin and blasphemy, but blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven. 32Whoever speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but whoever speaks against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven, either in this age or in the age to come.
A Tree and Its Fruit
33 ‘Either make the tree good, and its fruit good; or make the tree bad, and its fruit bad; for the tree is known by its fruit. 34You brood of vipers! How can you speak good things, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. 35The good person brings good things out of a good treasure, and the evil person brings evil things out of an evil treasure. 36I tell you, on the day of judgement you will have to give an account for every careless word you utter; 37for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.’
The Sign of Jonah
38 Then some of the scribes and Pharisees said to him, ‘Teacher, we wish to see a sign from you.’ 39But he answered them, ‘An evil and adulterous generation asks for a sign, but no sign will be given to it except the sign of the prophet Jonah. 40For just as Jonah was for three days and three nights in the belly of the sea monster, so for three days and three nights the Son of Man will be in the heart of the earth. 41The people of Nineveh will rise up at the judgement with this generation and condemn it, because they repented at the proclamation of Jonah, and see, something greater than Jonah is here! 42The queen of the South will rise up at the judgement with this generation and condemn it, because she came from the ends of the earth to listen to the wisdom of Solomon, and see, something greater than Solomon is here!
The Return of the Unclean Spirit
43 ‘When the unclean spirit has gone out of a person, it wanders through waterless regions looking for a resting-place, but it finds none. 44Then it says, “I will return to my house from which I came.†When it comes, it finds it empty, swept, and put in order. 45Then it goes and brings along seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they enter and live there; and the last state of that person is worse than the first. So will it be also with this evil generation.’
The True Kindred of Jesus
46 While he was still speaking to the crowds, his mother and his brothers were standing outside, wanting to speak to him. 47Someone told him, ‘Look, your mother and your brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you.’* 48But to the one who had told him this, Jesus* replied, ‘Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?’ 49And pointing to his disciples, he said, ‘Here are my mother and my brothers! 50For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.’
Matthew 13
The Parable of the Sower
13That same day Jesus went out of the house and sat beside the lake. 2Such great crowds gathered around him that he got into a boat and sat there, while the whole crowd stood on the beach. 3And he told them many things in parables, saying: ‘Listen! A sower went out to sow. 4And as he sowed, some seeds fell on the path, and the birds came and ate them up. 5Other seeds fell on rocky ground, where they did not have much soil, and they sprang up quickly, since they had no depth of soil. 6But when the sun rose, they were scorched; and since they had no root, they withered away. 7Other seeds fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked them. 8Other seeds fell on good soil and brought forth grain, some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty. 9Let anyone with ears* listen!’
The Purpose of the Parables
10 Then the disciples came and asked him, ‘Why do you speak to them in parables?’ 11He answered, ‘To you it has been given to know the secrets* of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it has not been given. 12For to those who have, more will be given, and they will have an abundance; but from those who have nothing, even what they have will be taken away. 13The reason I speak to them in parables is that “seeing they do not perceive, and hearing they do not listen, nor do they understand.†14With them indeed is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah that says:
“You will indeed listen, but never understand,
and you will indeed look, but never perceive.
15For this people’s heart has grown dull,
and their ears are hard of hearing,
and they have shut their eyes;
so that they might not look with their eyes,
and listen with their ears,
and understand with their heart and turn—
and I would heal them.â€
16But blessed are your eyes, for they see, and your ears, for they hear. 17Truly I tell you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, but did not see it, and to hear what you hear, but did not hear it.
The Parable of the Sower Explained
18 ‘Hear then the parable of the sower. 19When anyone hears the word of the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what is sown in the heart; this is what was sown on the path. 20As for what was sown on rocky ground, this is the one who hears the word and immediately receives it with joy; 21yet such a person has no root, but endures only for a while, and when trouble or persecution arises on account of the word, that person immediately falls away.* 22As for what was sown among thorns, this is the one who hears the word, but the cares of the world and the lure of wealth choke the word, and it yields nothing. 23But as for what was sown on good soil, this is the one who hears the word and understands it, who indeed bears fruit and yields, in one case a hundredfold, in another sixty, and in another thirty.’
The Parable of Weeds among the Wheat
24 He put before them another parable: ‘The kingdom of heaven may be compared to someone who sowed good seed in his field; 25but while everybody was asleep, an enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat, and then went away. 26So when the plants came up and bore grain, then the weeds appeared as well. 27And the slaves of the householder came and said to him, “Master, did you not sow good seed in your field? Where, then, did these weeds come from?†28He answered, “An enemy has done this.†The slaves said to him, “Then do you want us to go and gather them?†29But he replied, “No; for in gathering the weeds you would uproot the wheat along with them. 30Let both of them grow together until the harvest; and at harvest time I will tell the reapers, Collect the weeds first and bind them in bundles to be burned, but gather the wheat into my barn.†’
The Parable of the Mustard Seed
31 He put before them another parable: ‘The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed that someone took and sowed in his field; 32it is the smallest of all the seeds, but when it has grown it is the greatest of shrubs and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and make nests in its branches.’
The Parable of the Yeast
33 He told them another parable: ‘The kingdom of heaven is like yeast that a woman took and mixed in with* three measures of flour until all of it was leavened.’
The Use of Parables
34 Jesus told the crowds all these things in parables; without a parable he told them nothing. 35This was to fulfil what had been spoken through the prophet:*
‘I will open my mouth to speak in parables;
I will proclaim what has been hidden from the foundation of the world.’*
Jesus Explains the Parable of the Weeds
36 Then he left the crowds and went into the house. And his disciples approached him, saying, ‘Explain to us the parable of the weeds of the field.’ 37He answered, ‘The one who sows the good seed is the Son of Man; 38the field is the world, and the good seed are the children of the kingdom; the weeds are the children of the evil one, 39and the enemy who sowed them is the devil; the harvest is the end of the age, and the reapers are angels. 40Just as the weeds are collected and burned up with fire, so will it be at the end of the age. 41The Son of Man will send his angels, and they will collect out of his kingdom all causes of sin and all evildoers, 42and they will throw them into the furnace of fire, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. 43Then the righteous will shine like the sun in the kingdom of their Father. Let anyone with ears* listen!
Three Parables
44 ‘The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which someone found and hid; then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.
45 ‘Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls; 46on finding one pearl of great value, he went and sold all that he had and bought it.
47 ‘Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a net that was thrown into the sea and caught fish of every kind; 48when it was full, they drew it ashore, sat down, and put the good into baskets but threw out the bad. 49So it will be at the end of the age. The angels will come out and separate the evil from the righteous 50and throw them into the furnace of fire, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
Treasures New and Old
51 ‘Have you understood all this?’ They answered, ‘Yes.’ 52And he said to them, ‘Therefore every scribe who has been trained for the kingdom of heaven is like the master of a household who brings out of his treasure what is new and what is old.’ 53When Jesus had finished these parables, he left that place.
The Rejection of Jesus at Nazareth
54 He came to his home town and began to teach the people* in their synagogue, so that they were astounded and said, ‘Where did this man get this wisdom and these deeds of power? 55Is not this the carpenter’s son? Is not his mother called Mary? And are not his brothers James and Joseph and Simon and Judas? 56And are not all his sisters with us? Where then did this man get all this?’ 57And they took offence at him. But Jesus said to them, ‘Prophets are not without honour except in their own country and in their own house.’ 58And he did not do many deeds of power there, because of their unbelief.
Matthew 14
The Death of John the Baptist
14At that time Herod the ruler* heard reports about Jesus; 2and he said to his servants, ‘This is John the Baptist; he has been raised from the dead, and for this reason these powers are at work in him.’ 3For Herod had arrested John, bound him, and put him in prison on account of Herodias, his brother Philip’s wife,* 4because John had been telling him, ‘It is not lawful for you to have her.’ 5Though Herod* wanted to put him to death, he feared the crowd, because they regarded him as a prophet. 6But when Herod’s birthday came, the daughter of Herodias danced before the company, and she pleased Herod 7so much that he promised on oath to grant her whatever she might ask. 8Prompted by her mother, she said, ‘Give me the head of John the Baptist here on a platter.’ 9The king was grieved, yet out of regard for his oaths and for the guests, he commanded it to be given; 10he sent and had John beheaded in the prison. 11The head was brought on a platter and given to the girl, who brought it to her mother. 12His disciples came and took the body and buried it; then they went and told Jesus.
Feeding the Five Thousand
13 Now when Jesus heard this, he withdrew from there in a boat to a deserted place by himself. But when the crowds heard it, they followed him on foot from the towns. 14When he went ashore, he saw a great crowd; and he had compassion for them and cured their sick. 15When it was evening, the disciples came to him and said, ‘This is a deserted place, and the hour is now late; send the crowds away so that they may go into the villages and buy food for themselves.’ 16Jesus said to them, ‘They need not go away; you give them something to eat.’ 17They replied, ‘We have nothing here but five loaves and two fish.’ 18And he said, ‘Bring them here to me.’ 19Then he ordered the crowds to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish, he looked up to heaven, and blessed and broke the loaves, and gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the crowds. 20And all ate and were filled; and they took up what was left over of the broken pieces, twelve baskets full. 21And those who ate were about five thousand men, besides women and children.
Jesus Walks on the Water
22 Immediately he made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead to the other side, while he dismissed the crowds. 23And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, 24but by this time the boat, battered by the waves, was far from the land,* for the wind was against them. 25And early in the morning he came walking towards them on the lake. 26But when the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified, saying, ‘It is a ghost!’ And they cried out in fear. 27But immediately Jesus spoke to them and said, ‘Take heart, it is I; do not be afraid.’
28 Peter answered him, ‘Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.’ 29He said, ‘Come.’ So Peter got out of the boat, started walking on the water, and came towards Jesus. 30But when he noticed the strong wind,* he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, ‘Lord, save me!’ 31Jesus immediately reached out his hand and caught him, saying to him, ‘You of little faith, why did you doubt?’ 32When they got into the boat, the wind ceased. 33And those in the boat worshipped him, saying, ‘Truly you are the Son of God.’
Jesus Heals the Sick in Gennesaret
34 When they had crossed over, they came to land at Gennesaret. 35After the people of that place recognized him, they sent word throughout the region and brought all who were sick to him, 36and begged him that they might touch even the fringe of his cloak; and all who touched it were healed.
Matthew 15
The Tradition of the Elders
15Then Pharisees and scribes came to Jesus from Jerusalem and said, 2‘Why do your disciples break the tradition of the elders? For they do not wash their hands before they eat.’ 3He answered them, ‘And why do you break the commandment of God for the sake of your tradition? 4For God said,* “Honour your father and your mother,†and, “Whoever speaks evil of father or mother must surely die.†5But you say that whoever tells father or mother, “Whatever support you might have had from me is given to Godâ€,* then that person need not honour the father.* 6So, for the sake of your tradition, you make void the word* of God. 7You hypocrites! Isaiah prophesied rightly about you when he said:
8“This people honours me with their lips,
but their hearts are far from me;
9in vain do they worship me,
teaching human precepts as doctrines.†’
Things That Defile
10 Then he called the crowd to him and said to them, ‘Listen and understand: 11it is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but it is what comes out of the mouth that defiles.’ 12Then the disciples approached and said to him, ‘Do you know that the Pharisees took offence when they heard what you said?’ 13He answered, ‘Every plant that my heavenly Father has not planted will be uprooted. 14Let them alone; they are blind guides of the blind.* And if one blind person guides another, both will fall into a pit.’ 15But Peter said to him, ‘Explain this parable to us.’ 16Then he said, ‘Are you also still without understanding? 17Do you not see that whatever goes into the mouth enters the stomach, and goes out into the sewer? 18But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this is what defiles. 19For out of the heart come evil intentions, murder, adultery, fornication, theft, false witness, slander. 20These are what defile a person, but to eat with unwashed hands does not defile.’
The Canaanite Woman’s Faith
21 Jesus left that place and went away to the district of Tyre and Sidon. 22Just then a Canaanite woman from that region came out and started shouting, ‘Have mercy on me, Lord, Son of David; my daughter is tormented by a demon.’ 23But he did not answer her at all. And his disciples came and urged him, saying, ‘Send her away, for she keeps shouting after us.’ 24He answered, ‘I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.’ 25But she came and knelt before him, saying, ‘Lord, help me.’ 26He answered, ‘It is not fair to take the children’s food and throw it to the dogs.’ 27She said, ‘Yes, Lord, yet even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters’ table.’ 28Then Jesus answered her, ‘Woman, great is your faith! Let it be done for you as you wish.’ And her daughter was healed instantly.
Jesus Cures Many People
29 After Jesus had left that place, he passed along the Sea of Galilee, and he went up the mountain, where he sat down. 30Great crowds came to him, bringing with them the lame, the maimed, the blind, the mute, and many others. They put them at his feet, and he cured them, 31so that the crowd was amazed when they saw the mute speaking, the maimed whole, the lame walking, and the blind seeing. And they praised the God of Israel.
Feeding the Four Thousand
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Had Mr Morris not wished to have supported his staff i am sure (in fact i am certain) that there are times he could have walked away from numerous ventures, taken the money, and closed the business leaving himself with immense personal wealth.
What i would say to the people moaning is the following: Remember who has paid you for the last, week, month, year or even decade (depending on your length of service) and remember where the money came from.
There are two types of people. The ones that melt in times of adversity and the ones that stand firm and support their business as if it was a family member. My advice would be to stand firm because one thing i can assure you - Morris will be at the top of that tree very very soon and those that treated the business like family will find themselves on a cumfy platform very close to the top of the tree if not at the top with him.
For those of you who opt to take wages AND then spout slanderous lies on this forum - you will be found out in time.
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The Parable of the Sower
13That same day Jesus went out of the house and sat beside the lake. 2Such great crowds gathered around him that he got into a boat and sat there, while the whole crowd stood on the beach. 3And he told them many things in parables, saying: ‘Listen! A sower went out to sow. 4And as he sowed, some seeds fell on the path, and the birds came and ate them up. 5Other seeds fell on rocky ground, where they did not have much soil, and they sprang up quickly, since they had no depth of soil. 6But when the sun rose, they were scorched; and since they had no root, they withered away. 7Other seeds fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked them. 8Other seeds fell on good soil and brought forth grain, some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty. 9Let anyone with ears* listen!’
The Purpose of the Parables
10 Then the disciples came and asked him, ‘Why do you speak to them in parables?’ 11He answered, ‘To you it has been given to know the secrets* of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it has not been given. 12For to those who have, more will be given, and they will have an abundance; but from those who have nothing, even what they have will be taken away. 13The reason I speak to them in parables is that “seeing they do not perceive, and hearing they do not listen, nor do they understand.†14With them indeed is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah that says:
“You will indeed listen, but never understand,
and you will indeed look, but never perceive.
15For this people’s heart has grown dull,
and their ears are hard of hearing,
and they have shut their eyes;
so that they might not look with their eyes,
and listen with their ears,
and understand with their heart and turn—
and I would heal them.â€
16But blessed are your eyes, for they see, and your ears, for they hear. 17Truly I tell you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, but did not see it, and to hear what you hear, but did not hear it.
The Parable of the Sower Explained
18 ‘Hear then the parable of the sower. 19When anyone hears the word of the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what is sown in the heart; this is what was sown on the path. 20As for what was sown on rocky ground, this is the one who hears the word and immediately receives it with joy; 21yet such a person has no root, but endures only for a while, and when trouble or persecution arises on account of the word, that person immediately falls away.* 22As for what was sown among thorns, this is the one who hears the word, but the cares of the world and the lure of wealth choke the word, and it yields nothing. 23But as for what was sown on good soil, this is the one who hears the word and understands it, who indeed bears fruit and yields, in one case a hundredfold, in another sixty, and in another thirty.’
The Parable of Weeds among the Wheat
24 He put before them another parable: ‘The kingdom of heaven may be compared to someone who sowed good seed in his field; 25but while everybody was asleep, an enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat, and then went away. 26So when the plants came up and bore grain, then the weeds appeared as well. 27And the slaves of the householder came and said to him, “Master, did you not sow good seed in your field? Where, then, did these weeds come from?†28He answered, “An enemy has done this.†The slaves said to him, “Then do you want us to go and gather them?†29But he replied, “No; for in gathering the weeds you would uproot the wheat along with them. 30Let both of them grow together until the harvest; and at harvest time I will tell the reapers, Collect the weeds first and bind them in bundles to be burned, but gather the wheat into my barn.†’
The Parable of the Mustard Seed
31 He put before them another parable: ‘The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed that someone took and sowed in his field; 32it is the smallest of all the seeds, but when it has grown it is the greatest of shrubs and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and make nests in its branches.’
The Parable of the Yeast
33 He told them another parable: ‘The kingdom of heaven is like yeast that a woman took and mixed in with* three measures of flour until all of it was leavened.’
The Use of Parables
34 Jesus told the crowds all these things in parables; without a parable he told them nothing. 35This was to fulfil what had been spoken through the prophet:*
‘I will open my mouth to speak in parables;
I will proclaim what has been hidden from the foundation of the world.’*
Jesus Explains the Parable of the Weeds
36 Then he left the crowds and went into the house. And his disciples approached him, saying, ‘Explain to us the parable of the weeds of the field.’ 37He answered, ‘The one who sows the good seed is the Son of Man; 38the field is the world, and the good seed are the children of the kingdom; the weeds are the children of the evil one, 39and the enemy who sowed them is the devil; the harvest is the end of the age, and the reapers are angels. 40Just as the weeds are collected and burned up with fire, so will it be at the end of the age. 41The Son of Man will send his angels, and they will collect out of his kingdom all causes of sin and all evildoers, 42and they will throw them into the furnace of fire, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. 43Then the righteous will shine like the sun in the kingdom of their Father. Let anyone with ears* listen!
Three Parables
44 ‘The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which someone found and hid; then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.
45 ‘Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls; 46on finding one pearl of great value, he went and sold all that he had and bought it.
47 ‘Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a net that was thrown into the sea and caught fish of every kind; 48when it was full, they drew it ashore, sat down, and put the good into baskets but threw out the bad. 49So it will be at the end of the age. The angels will come out and separate the evil from the righteous 50and throw them into the furnace of fire, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
Treasures New and Old
51 ‘Have you understood all this?’ They answered, ‘Yes.’ 52And he said to them, ‘Therefore every scribe who has been trained for the kingdom of heaven is like the master of a household who brings out of his treasure what is new and what is old.’ 53When Jesus had finished these parables, he left that place.
The Rejection of Jesus at Nazareth
54 He came to his home town and began to teach the people* in their synagogue, so that they were astounded and said, ‘Where did this man get this wisdom and these deeds of power? 55Is not this the carpenter’s son? Is not his mother called Mary? And are not his brothers James and Joseph and Simon and Judas? 56And are not all his sisters with us? Where then did this man get all this?’ 57And they took offence at him. But Jesus said to them, ‘Prophets are not without honour except in their own country and in their own house.’ 58And he did not do many deeds of power there, because of their unbelief.
Matthew 14
The Death of John the Baptist
14At that time Herod the ruler* heard reports about Jesus; 2and he said to his servants, ‘This is John the Baptist; he has been raised from the dead, and for this reason these powers are at work in him.’ 3For Herod had arrested John, bound him, and put him in prison on account of Herodias, his brother Philip’s wife,* 4because John had been telling him, ‘It is not lawful for you to have her.’ 5Though Herod* wanted to put him to death, he feared the crowd, because they regarded him as a prophet. 6But when Herod’s birthday came, the daughter of Herodias danced before the company, and she pleased Herod 7so much that he promised on oath to grant her whatever she might ask. 8Prompted by her mother, she said, ‘Give me the head of John the Baptist here on a platter.’ 9The king was grieved, yet out of regard for his oaths and for the guests, he commanded it to be given; 10he sent and had John beheaded in the prison. 11The head was brought on a platter and given to the girl, who brought it to her mother. 12His disciples came and took the body and buried it; then they went and told Jesus.
Feeding the Five Thousand
13 Now when Jesus heard this, he withdrew from there in a boat to a deserted place by himself. But when the crowds heard it, they followed him on foot from the towns. 14When he went ashore, he saw a great crowd; and he had compassion for them and cured their sick. 15When it was evening, the disciples came to him and said, ‘This is a deserted place, and the hour is now late; send the crowds away so that they may go into the villages and buy food for themselves.’ 16Jesus said to them, ‘They need not go away; you give them something to eat.’ 17They replied, ‘We have nothing here but five loaves and two fish.’ 18And he said, ‘Bring them here to me.’ 19Then he ordered the crowds to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish, he looked up to heaven, and blessed and broke the loaves, and gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the crowds. 20And all ate and were filled; and they took up what was left over of the broken pieces, twelve baskets full. 21And those who ate were about five thousand men, besides women and children.
Jesus Walks on the Water
22 Immediately he made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead to the other side, while he dismissed the crowds. 23And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, 24but by this time the boat, battered by the waves, was far from the land,* for the wind was against them. 25And early in the morning he came walking towards them on the lake. 26But when the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified, saying, ‘It is a ghost!’ And they cried out in fear. 27But immediately Jesus spoke to them and said, ‘Take heart, it is I; do not be afraid.’
28 Peter answered him, ‘Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.’ 29He said, ‘Come.’ So Peter got out of the boat, started walking on the water, and came towards Jesus. 30But when he noticed the strong wind,* he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, ‘Lord, save me!’ 31Jesus immediately reached out his hand and caught him, saying to him, ‘You of little faith, why did you doubt?’ 32When they got into the boat, the wind ceased. 33And those in the boat worshipped him, saying, ‘Truly you are the Son of God.’
Jesus Heals the Sick in Gennesaret
34 When they had crossed over, they came to land at Gennesaret. 35After the people of that place recognized him, they sent word throughout the region and brought all who were sick to him, 36and begged him that they might touch even the fringe of his cloak; and all who touched it were healed.
Matthew 15
The Tradition of the Elders
15Then Pharisees and scribes came to Jesus from Jerusalem and said, 2‘Why do your disciples break the tradition of the elders? For they do not wash their hands before they eat.’ 3He answered them, ‘And why do you break the commandment of God for the sake of your tradition? 4For God said,* “Honour your father and your mother,†and, “Whoever speaks evil of father or mother must surely die.†5But you say that whoever tells father or mother, “Whatever support you might have had from me is given to Godâ€,* then that person need not honour the father.* 6So, for the sake of your tradition, you make void the word* of God. 7You hypocrites! Isaiah prophesied rightly about you when he said:
8“This people honours me with their lips,
but their hearts are far from me;
9in vain do they worship me,
teaching human precepts as doctrines.†’
Things That Defile
10 Then he called the crowd to him and said to them, ‘Listen and understand: 11it is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but it is what comes out of the mouth that defiles.’ 12Then the disciples approached and said to him, ‘Do you know that the Pharisees took offence when they heard what you said?’ 13He answered, ‘Every plant that my heavenly Father has not planted will be uprooted. 14Let them alone; they are blind guides of the blind.* And if one blind person guides another, both will fall into a pit.’ 15But Peter said to him, ‘Explain this parable to us.’ 16Then he said, ‘Are you also still without understanding? 17Do you not see that whatever goes into the mouth enters the stomach, and goes out into the sewer? 18But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this is what defiles. 19For out of the heart come evil intentions, murder, adultery, fornication, theft, false witness, slander. 20These are what defile a person, but to eat with unwashed hands does not defile.’
The Canaanite Woman’s Faith
21 Jesus left that place and went away to the district of Tyre and Sidon. 22Just then a Canaanite woman from that region came out and started shouting, ‘Have mercy on me, Lord, Son of David; my daughter is tormented by a demon.’ 23But he did not answer her at all. And his disciples came and urged him, saying, ‘Send her away, for she keeps shouting after us.’ 24He answered, ‘I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.’ 25But she came and knelt before him, saying, ‘Lord, help me.’ 26He answered, ‘It is not fair to take the children’s food and throw it to the dogs.’ 27She said, ‘Yes, Lord, yet even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters’ table.’ 28Then Jesus answered her, ‘Woman, great is your faith! Let it be done for you as you wish.’ And her daughter was healed instantly.
Jesus Cures Many People
29 After Jesus had left that place, he passed along the Sea of Galilee, and he went up the mountain, where he sat down. 30Great crowds came to him, bringing with them the lame, the maimed, the blind, the mute, and many others. They put them at his feet, and he cured them, 31so that the crowd was amazed when they saw the mute speaking, the maimed whole, the lame walking, and the blind seeing. And they praised the God of Israel.
Feeding the Four Thousand
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Re: funny i read all this
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Re: Re: funny i read all this
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Remember
Had Mr Morris not wished to have supported his staff i am sure (in fact i am certain) that there are times he could have walked away from numerous ventures, taken the money, and closed the business leaving himself with immense personal wealth.
What i would say to the people moaning is the following: Remember who has paid you for the last, week, month, year or even decade (depending on your length of service) and remember where the money came from.
There are two types of people. The ones that melt in times of adversity and the ones that stand firm and support their business as if it was a family member. My advice would be to stand firm because one thing i can assure you - Morris will be at the top of that tree very very soon and those that treated the business like family will find themselves on a cumfy platform very close to the top of the tree if not at the top with him.
For those of you who opt to take wages AND then spout slanderous lies on this forum - you will be found out in time.
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Couldn't be happier!
The Parable of the Sower
13That same day Jesus went out of the house and sat beside the lake. 2Such great crowds gathered around him that he got into a boat and sat there, while the whole crowd stood on the beach. 3And he told them many things in parables, saying: ‘Listen! A sower went out to sow. 4And as he sowed, some seeds fell on the path, and the birds came and ate them up. 5Other seeds fell on rocky ground, where they did not have much soil, and they sprang up quickly, since they had no depth of soil. 6But when the sun rose, they were scorched; and since they had no root, they withered away. 7Other seeds fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked them. 8Other seeds fell on good soil and brought forth grain, some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty. 9Let anyone with ears* listen!’
The Purpose of the Parables
10 Then the disciples came and asked him, ‘Why do you speak to them in parables?’ 11He answered, ‘To you it has been given to know the secrets* of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it has not been given. 12For to those who have, more will be given, and they will have an abundance; but from those who have nothing, even what they have will be taken away. 13The reason I speak to them in parables is that “seeing they do not perceive, and hearing they do not listen, nor do they understand.†14With them indeed is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah that says:
“You will indeed listen, but never understand,
and you will indeed look, but never perceive.
15For this people’s heart has grown dull,
and their ears are hard of hearing,
and they have shut their eyes;
so that they might not look with their eyes,
and listen with their ears,
and understand with their heart and turn—
and I would heal them.â€
16But blessed are your eyes, for they see, and your ears, for they hear. 17Truly I tell you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, but did not see it, and to hear what you hear, but did not hear it.
The Parable of the Sower Explained
18 ‘Hear then the parable of the sower. 19When anyone hears the word of the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what is sown in the heart; this is what was sown on the path. 20As for what was sown on rocky ground, this is the one who hears the word and immediately receives it with joy; 21yet such a person has no root, but endures only for a while, and when trouble or persecution arises on account of the word, that person immediately falls away.* 22As for what was sown among thorns, this is the one who hears the word, but the cares of the world and the lure of wealth choke the word, and it yields nothing. 23But as for what was sown on good soil, this is the one who hears the word and understands it, who indeed bears fruit and yields, in one case a hundredfold, in another sixty, and in another thirty.’
The Parable of Weeds among the Wheat
24 He put before them another parable: ‘The kingdom of heaven may be compared to someone who sowed good seed in his field; 25but while everybody was asleep, an enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat, and then went away. 26So when the plants came up and bore grain, then the weeds appeared as well. 27And the slaves of the householder came and said to him, “Master, did you not sow good seed in your field? Where, then, did these weeds come from?†28He answered, “An enemy has done this.†The slaves said to him, “Then do you want us to go and gather them?†29But he replied, “No; for in gathering the weeds you would uproot the wheat along with them. 30Let both of them grow together until the harvest; and at harvest time I will tell the reapers, Collect the weeds first and bind them in bundles to be burned, but gather the wheat into my barn.†’
The Parable of the Mustard Seed
31 He put before them another parable: ‘The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed that someone took and sowed in his field; 32it is the smallest of all the seeds, but when it has grown it is the greatest of shrubs and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and make nests in its branches.’
The Parable of the Yeast
33 He told them another parable: ‘The kingdom of heaven is like yeast that a woman took and mixed in with* three measures of flour until all of it was leavened.’
The Use of Parables
34 Jesus told the crowds all these things in parables; without a parable he told them nothing. 35This was to fulfil what had been spoken through the prophet:*
‘I will open my mouth to speak in parables;
I will proclaim what has been hidden from the foundation of the world.’*
Jesus Explains the Parable of the Weeds
36 Then he left the crowds and went into the house. And his disciples approached him, saying, ‘Explain to us the parable of the weeds of the field.’ 37He answered, ‘The one who sows the good seed is the Son of Man; 38the field is the world, and the good seed are the children of the kingdom; the weeds are the children of the evil one, 39and the enemy who sowed them is the devil; the harvest is the end of the age, and the reapers are angels. 40Just as the weeds are collected and burned up with fire, so will it be at the end of the age. 41The Son of Man will send his angels, and they will collect out of his kingdom all causes of sin and all evildoers, 42and they will throw them into the furnace of fire, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. 43Then the righteous will shine like the sun in the kingdom of their Father. Let anyone with ears* listen!
Three Parables
44 ‘The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which someone found and hid; then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.
45 ‘Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls; 46on finding one pearl of great value, he went and sold all that he had and bought it.
47 ‘Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a net that was thrown into the sea and caught fish of every kind; 48when it was full, they drew it ashore, sat down, and put the good into baskets but threw out the bad. 49So it will be at the end of the age. The angels will come out and separate the evil from the righteous 50and throw them into the furnace of fire, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
Treasures New and Old
51 ‘Have you understood all this?’ They answered, ‘Yes.’ 52And he said to them, ‘Therefore every scribe who has been trained for the kingdom of heaven is like the master of a household who brings out of his treasure what is new and what is old.’ 53When Jesus had finished these parables, he left that place.
The Rejection of Jesus at Nazareth
54 He came to his home town and began to teach the people* in their synagogue, so that they were astounded and said, ‘Where did this man get this wisdom and these deeds of power? 55Is not this the carpenter’s son? Is not his mother called Mary? And are not his brothers James and Joseph and Simon and Judas? 56And are not all his sisters with us? Where then did this man get all this?’ 57And they took offence at him. But Jesus said to them, ‘Prophets are not without honour except in their own country and in their own house.’ 58And he did not do many deeds of power there, because of their unbelief.
Matthew 14
The Death of John the Baptist
14At that time Herod the ruler* heard reports about Jesus; 2and he said to his servants, ‘This is John the Baptist; he has been raised from the dead, and for this reason these powers are at work in him.’ 3For Herod had arrested John, bound him, and put him in prison on account of Herodias, his brother Philip’s wife,* 4because John had been telling him, ‘It is not lawful for you to have her.’ 5Though Herod* wanted to put him to death, he feared the crowd, because they regarded him as a prophet. 6But when Herod’s birthday came, the daughter of Herodias danced before the company, and she pleased Herod 7so much that he promised on oath to grant her whatever she might ask. 8Prompted by her mother, she said, ‘Give me the head of John the Baptist here on a platter.’ 9The king was grieved, yet out of regard for his oaths and for the guests, he commanded it to be given; 10he sent and had John beheaded in the prison. 11The head was brought on a platter and given to the girl, who brought it to her mother. 12His disciples came and took the body and buried it; then they went and told Jesus.
Feeding the Five Thousand
13 Now when Jesus heard this, he withdrew from there in a boat to a deserted place by himself. But when the crowds heard it, they followed him on foot from the towns. 14When he went ashore, he saw a great crowd; and he had compassion for them and cured their sick. 15When it was evening, the disciples came to him and said, ‘This is a deserted place, and the hour is now late; send the crowds away so that they may go into the villages and buy food for themselves.’ 16Jesus said to them, ‘They need not go away; you give them something to eat.’ 17They replied, ‘We have nothing here but five loaves and two fish.’ 18And he said, ‘Bring them here to me.’ 19Then he ordered the crowds to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish, he looked up to heaven, and blessed and broke the loaves, and gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the crowds. 20And all ate and were filled; and they took up what was left over of the broken pieces, twelve baskets full. 21And those who ate were about five thousand men, besides women and children.
Jesus Walks on the Water
22 Immediately he made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead to the other side, while he dismissed the crowds. 23And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, 24but by this time the boat, battered by the waves, was far from the land,* for the wind was against them. 25And early in the morning he came walking towards them on the lake. 26But when the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified, saying, ‘It is a ghost!’ And they cried out in fear. 27But immediately Jesus spoke to them and said, ‘Take heart, it is I; do not be afraid.’
28 Peter answered him, ‘Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.’ 29He said, ‘Come.’ So Peter got out of the boat, started walking on the water, and came towards Jesus. 30But when he noticed the strong wind,* he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, ‘Lord, save me!’ 31Jesus immediately reached out his hand and caught him, saying to him, ‘You of little faith, why did you doubt?’ 32When they got into the boat, the wind ceased. 33And those in the boat worshipped him, saying, ‘Truly you are the Son of God.’
Jesus Heals the Sick in Gennesaret
34 When they had crossed over, they came to land at Gennesaret. 35After the people of that place recognized him, they sent word throughout the region and brought all who were sick to him, 36and begged him that they might touch even the fringe of his cloak; and all who touched it were healed.
Matthew 15
The Tradition of the Elders
15Then Pharisees and scribes came to Jesus from Jerusalem and said, 2‘Why do your disciples break the tradition of the elders? For they do not wash their hands before they eat.’ 3He answered them, ‘And why do you break the commandment of God for the sake of your tradition? 4For God said,* “Honour your father and your mother,†and, “Whoever speaks evil of father or mother must surely die.†5But you say that whoever tells father or mother, “Whatever support you might have had from me is given to Godâ€,* then that person need not honour the father.* 6So, for the sake of your tradition, you make void the word* of God. 7You hypocrites! Isaiah prophesied rightly about you when he said:
8“This people honours me with their lips,
but their hearts are far from me;
9in vain do they worship me,
teaching human precepts as doctrines.†’
Things That Defile
10 Then he called the crowd to him and said to them, ‘Listen and understand: 11it is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but it is what comes out of the mouth that defiles.’ 12Then the disciples approached and said to him, ‘Do you know that the Pharisees took offence when they heard what you said?’ 13He answered, ‘Every plant that my heavenly Father has not planted will be uprooted. 14Let them alone; they are blind guides of the blind.* And if one blind person guides another, both will fall into a pit.’ 15But Peter said to him, ‘Explain this parable to us.’ 16Then he said, ‘Are you also still without understanding? 17Do you not see that whatever goes into the mouth enters the stomach, and goes out into the sewer? 18But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this is what defiles. 19For out of the heart come evil intentions, murder, adultery, fornication, theft, false witness, slander. 20These are what defile a person, but to eat with unwashed hands does not defile.’
The Canaanite Woman’s Faith
21 Jesus left that place and went away to the district of Tyre and Sidon. 22Just then a Canaanite woman from that region came out and started shouting, ‘Have mercy on me, Lord, Son of David; my daughter is tormented by a demon.’ 23But he did not answer her at all. And his disciples came and urged him, saying, ‘Send her away, for she keeps shouting after us.’ 24He answered, ‘I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.’ 25But she came and knelt before him, saying, ‘Lord, help me.’ 26He answered, ‘It is not fair to take the children’s food and throw it to the dogs.’ 27She said, ‘Yes, Lord, yet even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters’ table.’ 28Then Jesus answered her, ‘Woman, great is your faith! Let it be done for you as you wish.’ And her daughter was healed instantly.
Jesus Cures Many People
29 After Jesus had left that place, he passed along the Sea of Galilee, and he went up the mountain, where he sat down. 30Great crowds came to him, bringing with them the lame, the maimed, the blind, the mute, and many others. They put them at his feet, and he cured them, 31so that the crowd was amazed when they saw the mute speaking, the maimed whole, the lame walking, and the blind seeing. And they praised the God of Israel.
Feeding the Four Thousand
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Morris must be desperate
It's shocking that he's so rubbish that he still thinks people believe his utter BS.
As an aside, there was a report of an event which one of his siblings attended in London for the well to do Jewish fraternity. 1000 people attended and raised a grand total of £3000 for charity! wow very generous- they probably spent more on parking than that.
Also worth checking are the annual graphs on any of the share trading sites. hilarious negative graphs show how much Jeffteus IMpap is wasting on his behind the curve rubbish- long may it last, til he's on the dole and abandoned by even Mr Dirk Manley (see above)..
good luck to those still trying to get paid by him.
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back in business
They say that there is a deal with SSAT, which is surprising and they even have 7 orders! not bad for 3.5m loss last year!!
It would be interesting to know if they actually have a deal and if SSAT have had the wool pulled by this old school spammer, with a string of failed ventures and dodgy deals behind him.
Don't buy IMJack. Ask why Tanya Byron has parted company with this firm.
check out the blurb in this thread that's not just more babbling spam.
don't trust morris or his henchmen.
have a nice day y'all.
Tanya
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Hello All
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I bet he dont give a f*** hes got enough money to roll up a £50 note put some skunk in it and laugh at all that lot of you!! Get over it hes a crook so what?? at least hes good at what he does..
Jeffrey pass me the joint ..
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Re: JM
What a bunch of crap. There are two types of people: those who say there are two types of people and those who know that's always an oversimplification.
Get bent.
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Long live zombie threads about British spammers!
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never mind.
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Piece of work
While I have no idea whether Mr Morris is Jewish ( and don't care), I can see why one partisan would call him a shyster. He really is a piece of work. And it was nice of him to start the ball rolling again so that a whole new generation can learn about him and his evolving company names.
Please keep us posted as to how this turns out.
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Re:
When that "traffic" is spam, then while it might =/= spamming you, it = spamming others.
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At the end of October, he sacked 40 people on the last day so he could get away without paying them, and they are still to get paid. For the rest, the low earners got paid late, and the others have not been paid at all. He is also sacking staff again this week prior to pay day. He is claiming he has some a deal with the government and is running round like a desperate man to raise MORE money. From what my friend tells me, he has a gambler whose name is something like Brad who deals with all the shit, and just lies to everyone. All the staff that got sacked have joined together and are causing lots and lots of problems for the little fat greedy man morris. I know they have been to the press and the tv, and having him investigated. watch this space, coz the fatty lady is about to start to sing.
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jeffrey morris
Hope you guys are doing ok, good luck.
A happy man.
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The Media Buzz.
Just just been looking round to see whats happened to Mr Morris. I was chatting to a pal of mine over champers the other evening, he told me to check this out....
Just like the chap that says the job seemed like a good deal ( not sure how he gets on with spelling like that )
I too am an ex employee of Mr Morris.
I agree, it's a good job, also good product, good times to be had. I had a nice little Golf to drive around in fuel paid for, always got paid. Nice food in my exspanding waistline, went to work in fancy suits.
All my customers seemed very happy, making money hand over fist. You see they have to have a good product for this to work. The trick is to find the right customer.
In short, good man Mr Morris I too think this is a cool lot.
I trust Jeffrey and his pals are keeping well.
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A few good fellows chatting about Jeffrey
How come a sudden surge of nitwits have started praising Mr Morris? I'm still in touch with a few of my old pals, we all did ok in one way or another.We still work together now, learned some thing so we did.There is of course a common factor here, most of the above bitter people are greedy. Jeffrey knows your greed, you've been stumbling around in the dark for years, look stick with your dreams. Don't be week roll with the punches, you can't sell thats why you don't work for Jeffrey any more and thats why your'e probably unemployed. Boothy used to say get a grip, well get one.Oh, if you are bored enougth to be reading this Jeffrey my mole tells me things are on the up, well done.What I saw was good products selling, doing well and still are from the back lash. Earned myself a few cases, a few how do you do's from my time in the Media Buzz, nice.
Made a few new friends. Do you see how to do it? Easy,
Let me tell you something, walk at a moderate pace always shake hands. Nice, grin at your customer keep all entrances and exits clean, you will do well.
Lets hear it for Jeffrey.
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Re: Morris the liar
Your friend, obviously you had pre warned him what to exspect?Still had a go. Didn't he? Wanted to crack the nut, and so he should, ok so he failed. Big deal, tell him it's a long race, sometimes you can run from the back all the way, then all of a sudden the bunch weakens and you begin to make your move. Listen, I'm going to tell you something.
Keep busy, I know it's hard, but this is nothing I've seen this all before. Chatting to one of my deals from a few years ago ( relationship ) over a glass or two of full boddied red wine last night. He's doing well, pleased so he is, grinned at me, loaning me his holiday appartment next year for some time in the sun. See? Easy.
Let's hear it for the big hitters.
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Re: Re: Morris the liar
Got your message checking out the site, you wanted me to put some thing in ~ oh, such stories to tell! You're cool, this I know, these idiots can't sell? won't sell. Just interested in their basic, no vision nothing driving crapped out cars mortgages
/ kids ~ nightmare land and now they've got together in a gang? Jeffrey should be worried. NOT! Oh long days ( and nights ) makin' deals / doin' the right thing. Drinkin' wine, smokin' cubans' I luved it, can't wait to be reunited and see what you've got cookin'
You told me something, pal them up make it work, I remember I did it I'm not doin bad, got the pals, heard a few stories about you, buzz me.
Good man Jeffrey.
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Morris the crook
lets face it you could count on one hand the people that really like him and it would take a long time to list the people that deetest the lieing crook.
gone is all your money mr thief, i mean jefery, and i look forward to reading about your business going to the wall.
karma is a great thing
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Re: Morris the crook
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Morris the crook
lets face it you could count on one hand the people that really like him and it would take a long time to list the people that deetest the lieing crook.
gone is all your money mr thief, i mean jefery, and i look forward to reading about your business going to the wall.
karma is a great thing
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Re: Morris the crook
sounds like his time is up in the world of bisness
christmas may come early
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SUMS UP THE CROOK
I IMAGINE THE ONLY REASON MORRIS USES THIS LAWYER, WHO EVIDENTLY KNOWS LITTLE ABOUT THE LAW, IS BECAUSE IT IS THE ONLY ONE THAT WILL DEAL WITH HIM. MOST HAVE SUED HIM AND HE OWES MONEY TO THE REMAINDER.
Here at Techdirt, unfortunately, we get an average of about one legal threat per month. The threats are almost always frivolous -- and often made in anger without the individual realizing why the threats are frivolous. While some sites take the position that they will publish any and all legal threats, we have always tried to give the threatening party the benefit of the doubt, and to recognize that they made their demands in a moment of excess anger and misunderstanding. As such, we generally explain our position as to why any legal action would be a mistake -- and in nearly every case, we never hear back from the person who threatened us.
However, we have recently received a legal threat that we feel deserves attention and airing for a variety of reasons.
Unlike most threats, this one came directly from lawyers representing the individual, rather than from the individual directly.
The threats are quite incredible, demanding that we shut down the entire site of Techdirt, due to a comment (or, potentially, comments) that the client did not like.
The lawyer fails to identify, other than a single snippet and a date, what post or specific comments are objectionable and why (beyond a suggestion of anti-semitism, which while despicable, is not illegal). I guess, since they are demanding we shut down the entire site or be sued, such details are not considered pertinent.
As we detail on this site on a somewhat regular basis, sites like ours are protected by Section 230 of the CDA from libel charges against statements made by users of the site. So any legal action against us is entirely pointless.
Most importantly, this threat is coming from the UK, and the lawyers insist that they will take it to court in the UK. This makes it rather timely and newsworthy for an entirely different reason. Just a few weeks ago we wrote about the new SPEECH Act that was passed into law to protect against libel tourism. As the Congressional record shows, the law was specifically designed to protect US businesses from libel judgments that violate Section 230 -- and the bill's backers explicitly call out libel judgments made in the UK. In other words, the SPEECH Act explicitly protects us from exactly the sort of threat that these lawyers and their client are making against us:
The purpose of this provision is to ensure that libel tourists do not attempt to chill speech by suing a third-party interactive computer service, rather than the actual author of the offending statement.
In such circumstances, the service provider would likely take down the allegedly offending material rather than face a lawsuit. Providing immunity removes this unhealthy incentive to take down material under improper pressure.
Separate from the Section 230 defenses, we are also protected due to a lack of personal jurisdiction, which, again, is supported by the recently passed SPEECH Act. It is entirely possible that the lawyers were unaware of the SPEECH Act, but it does seem like a law firm making legal threats in a foreign country should be expected to have researched the legal barriers to making such a claim before using billable hours to make threats they cannot back up.
Finally, it's important to note that a part of the SPEECH Act allows sites protected under this law to seek attorneys' fees should they be targeted in such a lawsuit. Rest assured that we would explore the option to the fullest, if need be.
Separately, I will note that on the same day that I received the legal threat letter from this law firm of Addlestone Keane, I also received an email from someone claiming to be both a regular Techdirt reader and a friend of the client, Jeffrey Morris, saying that he was contacting me to ask if I could, out of the kindness of my heart, remove the comments that are bothering Mr. Morris. Of course, the paper threat letter sent by Mr. Morris' lawyers was sent five days prior to this email from Mr. Morris' friend. Our policy at Techdirt is that we do not remove comments on such requests, other than comments that we judge to be spam, so we would not have removed the comments, anyway. However, it is odd that Mr. Morris would first have his lawyers pull out the "nuclear option" and demand that we shut down our entire site, and then days later have a friend reach out to make a personal plea.
As such, given the newsworthy nature of an example of where the brand new law (thankfully) protects us, as well as the fact that we do not feel it is decent or right for anyone to demand we shut down our entire site or be sued halfway around the world, because he does not appreciate a comment someone made about him, we are publishing the letter that was sent to us. Thanks in part to the new law, we have no obligation to respond to Mr. Morris, his friend or the lawyers at Addlestone Keane, who (one would hope) will better advise their clients not to pursue such fruitless legal threats in the future. Should Mr. Morris and his solicitors decide that they wish to proceed with such a pointless and wasteful lawsuit against us, which will only serve to cost Mr. Morris significant legal sums with no hope of recovery, we will continue to report on it, safe in the knowledge that it has no bearing on us. The only potential issue I could foresee would be that any UK judgment against us could prevent me from traveling to the UK in the future, which would be unfortunate, as I have quite enjoyed past visits to the UK. But perhaps such ridiculous outcomes will help the UK realize that it's really about time to update its incredibly outdated libel laws and begin respecting free speech rights.
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Re: Re: Morris the crook
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SUMS UP THE CROOK
I IMAGINE THE ONLY REASON MORRIS USES THIS LAWYER, WHO EVIDENTLY KNOWS LITTLE ABOUT THE LAW, IS BECAUSE IT IS THE ONLY ONE THAT WILL DEAL WITH HIM. MOST HAVE SUED HIM AND HE OWES MONEY TO THE REMAINDER.
Here at Techdirt, unfortunately, we get an average of about one legal threat per month. The threats are almost always frivolous -- and often made in anger without the individual realizing why the threats are frivolous. While some sites take the position that they will publish any and all legal threats, we have always tried to give the threatening party the benefit of the doubt, and to recognize that they made their demands in a moment of excess anger and misunderstanding. As such, we generally explain our position as to why any legal action would be a mistake -- and in nearly every case, we never hear back from the person who threatened us.
However, we have recently received a legal threat that we feel deserves attention and airing for a variety of reasons.
Unlike most threats, this one came directly from lawyers representing the individual, rather than from the individual directly.
The threats are quite incredible, demanding that we shut down the entire site of Techdirt, due to a comment (or, potentially, comments) that the client did not like.
The lawyer fails to identify, other than a single snippet and a date, what post or specific comments are objectionable and why (beyond a suggestion of anti-semitism, which while despicable, is not illegal). I guess, since they are demanding we shut down the entire site or be sued, such details are not considered pertinent.
As we detail on this site on a somewhat regular basis, sites like ours are protected by Section 230 of the CDA from libel charges against statements made by users of the site. So any legal action against us is entirely pointless.
Most importantly, this threat is coming from the UK, and the lawyers insist that they will take it to court in the UK. This makes it rather timely and newsworthy for an entirely different reason. Just a few weeks ago we wrote about the new SPEECH Act that was passed into law to protect against libel tourism. As the Congressional record shows, the law was specifically designed to protect US businesses from libel judgments that violate Section 230 -- and the bill's backers explicitly call out libel judgments made in the UK. In other words, the SPEECH Act explicitly protects us from exactly the sort of threat that these lawyers and their client are making against us:
The purpose of this provision is to ensure that libel tourists do not attempt to chill speech by suing a third-party interactive computer service, rather than the actual author of the offending statement.
In such circumstances, the service provider would likely take down the allegedly offending material rather than face a lawsuit. Providing immunity removes this unhealthy incentive to take down material under improper pressure.
Separate from the Section 230 defenses, we are also protected due to a lack of personal jurisdiction, which, again, is supported by the recently passed SPEECH Act. It is entirely possible that the lawyers were unaware of the SPEECH Act, but it does seem like a law firm making legal threats in a foreign country should be expected to have researched the legal barriers to making such a claim before using billable hours to make threats they cannot back up.
Finally, it's important to note that a part of the SPEECH Act allows sites protected under this law to seek attorneys' fees should they be targeted in such a lawsuit. Rest assured that we would explore the option to the fullest, if need be.
Separately, I will note that on the same day that I received the legal threat letter from this law firm of Addlestone Keane, I also received an email from someone claiming to be both a regular Techdirt reader and a friend of the client, Jeffrey Morris, saying that he was contacting me to ask if I could, out of the kindness of my heart, remove the comments that are bothering Mr. Morris. Of course, the paper threat letter sent by Mr. Morris' lawyers was sent five days prior to this email from Mr. Morris' friend. Our policy at Techdirt is that we do not remove comments on such requests, other than comments that we judge to be spam, so we would not have removed the comments, anyway. However, it is odd that Mr. Morris would first have his lawyers pull out the "nuclear option" and demand that we shut down our entire site, and then days later have a friend reach out to make a personal plea.
As such, given the newsworthy nature of an example of where the brand new law (thankfully) protects us, as well as the fact that we do not feel it is decent or right for anyone to demand we shut down our entire site or be sued halfway around the world, because he does not appreciate a comment someone made about him, we are publishing the letter that was sent to us. Thanks in part to the new law, we have no obligation to respond to Mr. Morris, his friend or the lawyers at Addlestone Keane, who (one would hope) will better advise their clients not to pursue such fruitless legal threats in the future. Should Mr. Morris and his solicitors decide that they wish to proceed with such a pointless and wasteful lawsuit against us, which will only serve to cost Mr. Morris significant legal sums with no hope of recovery, we will continue to report on it, safe in the knowledge that it has no bearing on us. The only potential issue I could foresee would be that any UK judgment against us could prevent me from traveling to the UK in the future, which would be unfortunate, as I have quite enjoyed past visits to the UK. But perhaps such ridiculous outcomes will help the UK realize that it's really about time to update its incredibly outdated libel laws and begin respecting free speech rights.
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DONT YOU LOVE IT WHEN A PLAN COMES TOGETHER
IM IMPRESSED BY HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE THIS POST ON AN ALERT.
HIS 'FRIEND' IS MORE INTELLIGENT THAN HIS LAWYER ACCORDING TO MR. TECHDIRT.
http://www.techdirt.com/articles/20100825/02002110771.shtml#comments
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MORRIS VOODOO DOLL
look now on www.firebox-ish.co.uk/morrisfamilyvoodoos
Need to get mine so dont buy them all.......
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MORRIS VOODOO DOLL
look now on www.firebox-ish.co.uk/morrisfamilyvoodoos
Need to get mine so dont buy them all.......
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MORRIS VOODOO DOLL
look now on www.firebox-ish.co.uk/morrisfamilyvoodoos
Need to get mine so dont buy them all.......
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Re: MORRIS VOODOO DOLL
I wish this business could last forever but all good things do come to an end and this one is nearing that phase.
The Clampetts are not even going on their £100K+ holiday this winter which in itself shows how hard times are for them.
We all admire you Jeffrey and see you as an icon.
Next time you want to waste £10M+ i suggest you find a worthy charity.
See you in the dole queue soon
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Re: SUMS UP THE CROOK
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Re: Re: SUMS UP THE CROOK
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P.s His product has never worked nor will it!
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i feel sick
sacked for no reason without pay got lots of excuses waiting on directors to sign cheques waiting on funding blah de blah Last phone calll he said he were sick of people like me and put the phone down. getting people together for insolvency proceedings against this bastardi want him to pay
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i feel sick
sacked for no reason without pay got lots of excuses waiting on directors to sign cheques waiting on funding blah de blah Last phone calll he said he were sick of people like me and put the phone down. getting people together for insolvency proceedings against this bastardi want him to pay
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Re: A few good fellows chatting about Jeffrey
two whats that got to do with not paying people illegal i think so.,
three your praising a criminal must mean your one yourself.
Cant wait to see u and whoever assoicated with this vile little man behind bars. My sister a criminal lawyer will bring you down oh cant wait to christmas to she brings u all down
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Re: Re: Re: SUMS UP THE CROOK
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Upcoming Protest
I don't want to give my name on here but I worked with you in telesales. Your back faced my back.
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Re: Upcoming Protest
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Re: DONT YOU LOVE IT WHEN A PLAN COMES TOGETHER
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How repulsive were those Sunday meetings? My family are a little younger so were not affected by those Sunday morning Morris shows but I feel so sorry for those people who missed out on spending precious time with their young kids, and there were many of them.
I hear he has a son that now works with him who is marginally thicker than him so it's little wonder he is all but finished.
If he is so protective of his family he ought to respect the families of others.
It's all too late now, the man is finished, and I only hope he reads these posts and sees what he really stood for. I bet he doesn't walk around Harrogate anymore like he owns the place.
Anyway, please forward a link to these posts to anyone you may still be in touch with that worked at Minorplanet and let's give them some enjoyment too.
And here is the new song to the tune we should all sing:
Where's your money gone
Where's your money gone
Where's your money gone
Far far away
Love and peace to you all during this festive season.
KEEP POSTING
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Does this monster owe you money?
We will then monitor the situation closely and should any debts be outstanding in two weeks then various phone numbers will be publicised.
WATCH THIS SPACE
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Your delightful daughter
Are you at a financial level where it is ok for your large arsed daughter to speak to normal people or is everyone still below her?
Let us know won't you,
M. Dancer
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Your delightful daughter
Are you at a financial level where it is ok for your large arsed daughter to speak to normal people or is everyone still below her?
Let us know won't you,
M. Dancer
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Where is my money?
I don't agree with all the posts on here coz I think it nawty to kick a helpless fatty when he's on the floor but I can make an exeption for you u prick.
It's coming up to Christmas and you have my money for the month I worked and you keep fobbing me off.
Will you be hungry this Christmas and unable to buy the presents you want for close ones
Loser
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He's at it again
I feel really sorry for his latest victims given the closeness to Christmas and all I can say is for you to all stick together and fight him. You have nothing to lose but everything to gain.
May the force be with you and let's see this cheat toppled for good.
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Re: He's at it again
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Details
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Campaign
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Campaign
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The noose is tightening.
Check this out::::::
http://www.edugeek.net/forums/virtual-learning-platforms/53864-imjack-2.html
Please post on there.
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The noose is tightening.
Check this out::::::
http://www.edugeek.net/forums/virtual-learning-platforms/53864-imjack-2.html
Please post on there.
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Check this out
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Advent Calendar
Get yours today from any good public toilet.
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Congratulations
Well done and keep the posts coming wherever you can.
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Re: Congratulations
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What if?
Those that could did well and brought money in. Those that couldn't, but said they could, just sat with their mouths open. They need'd ridding and quickly, damage management.
What if when you went out in your cars supplied by Jeffrey you actually got appointments, deals? Gonna see the guys tonight, stroll, talk, have a cuban you know the drill.
Oh mistakes were made, a nats ear from the millionaires club
thats how the days were.
Look, let me tell you some thing I know a handfull of other companies selling the same product, Manchester based, good salesmen, selling it so they are, see? See it? Got it? Get it?
I know, I know, theres a way.
Heres to the zero's to hero's.
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Good fellow
You know you know theres a way of what? Selling sand to the Arabs?
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ITS CHRISTMAS!!!!
It seems like Morris is now on his last legs and suffering like a whale out of water. I am not able to take any pleasure from this so i have setup the following website to raise some money for him.
www.justgiving.co.uk/helptheclampittseatoverchristmas
Please try and give what you can in this, the season of giving and forgiving, and lets try and provide this twerp with enough manure over Christmas so he doesn't go hungry.
Thanks everyone and Merry Christmas
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Re 148 Good fellow / Ex employee.
Yeah I know, developd in house. Look, been all over the country selling,Lots of same product out there, different shirt, that's all. Met them, spoke to them, lunched with them. In house? So what?
Stumbled on them once or twice ( not good ) better product knowledge than the Leeds crew. So this could lead me to asking the following, how many salesmen / women actually understood / understand the product?
Chapter one.
You need a new front door, lets in draft, cracked glass. Makes your house look bad. So you find a tradesman. Got a lot of exsperience? Yeah, fitted dozens, oh, ok. What sort of wood will it be? not sure govna, have to ask the guys back at the depot. Oh. What about the handles etc? I think they might be brass, or maybe silver. were will the leter box be, you're the tradseman right/ yeah, not sure actually.
Chapter two.
You foolishly allow him to fit the door, with out knowing if it's going to do the job. Not only is it a crap fit, its a crap job nothing like it says on the box.
Pay him would you? shake his hand would you? His boss gonna be pleased with him? Is he? Pay him? Would he? Give him a shiny new van to pratt around in, would he? Should he?
To the current employees, learn, learn, learn and don't and don't go out into the big bad world until you know your stuff. Make you own app's, let them know you're coming to sell to them. Sit down with them, find out what they do, what they need, their client base, customers pocket, product value, this is key, for them and you.Don't get that stupid lap top out, make sure they have something worth working with. Some things just don't sell, it's no good to them.
Yeah, the sand would be bought.
Quick, make haste.
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Good Fellow
Thanks
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Good Fellow
Thanks
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Re Ex Employee.
I knew of only a hand full of people, amongst the dozens that passed through the doors who could actually sell, they didn't know what they were selling. They said they could sell, they couldn't, it was embarrassing. I'm not slating them, no, not at all. They couldn't sell, wrong job, telesales appointments with product value of a few quid, no good. Rep's sitting these crazy app's, no good.
Doesn't anyone see it? Didn't anyone notice?
Rep's spending all day driving to one appointment, crazy cottage buisness appointment's.
I know they could see it.
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The same
The truth is I couldn't sell it.
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Dont Despair
Dont lose confidence in yourself
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Dont Despair
Dont lose confidence in yourself
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Wave goodbly to the failure
You have this wrong. Jeffrey Morris has spent £??m on IMjack and its about to go to the wall and be classified as a complete failure because of him.he can't run a business that takes and makes money. The man is a loser and his business is a gonner.
I think you are right that he will not last into the new year and this will be a great Christmas present for me but upsetting for the ones who he sacked without pay.
If my information is accurate all his friends have gone and he is left like a rabbit in the headlights with only his thick c**t of a brother in law to turn to. and he is fuckin thick (more brains in a twix) The funny thing is that they hate eachother.
Lets just all hope that not only will the fat thick failure lose everything but hopefully he will get investigated too.
Id hate to see him in nick!!!
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My Inside View
I hope he can't find out who I am. I am doing this annonimously but I have not said anything that is not the truth.
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You don't get it.
Think out-side the box.
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Don't you know it?
Afraid be you?
Be very, be you.
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You make us all feel sick
But cant wait for that fall
When you lose it all
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Morris the Retard
It will be interesting to see what happens next week when it comes to pay-day but word on the street is that he will promise wages on the first working day after the first round of bank holidays and wont be seen again. I think a sign will go on the front door of that cesspit (any suggestions what the sign may say?) and that snake Morris will go into hiding.
Just shows what a loser that Morris is and what a sad deceitful life he leads
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THE FAILURE
All the people he has screwed and belittled will now be looking at this pathetic failure and quietly laughing whilst he stands in the bitter cold selling counterfeit tat on Briggate from a portable shack. How f*****g funny will that be?
Facts do not lie and for all those that have been released from his sick clutches due to this failure you should count yourselves lucky.
No longer will he be referred to as a "millionaire from Leeds" or "an anonymous Yorkshire millionaire" or indeed a successful entrepeneur, oh no, those days are gone. His legacy will simply be made up of four words:
JEFFREY MORRIS THE FAILURE
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Toast the failure
The bookies now think the businesses will go to the wall before next friday. I can only imagine how furious that will leave people.
Will someone working there please take a picture of him. I want to see how many more wrinkles he has, how he has ballooned and the fire coming out of his ears.
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What a joke
Jeffrey Morris didn't even have the bottle to show his face today. I like many others on here detest everything he stands for.
Thanks for ruining my Christmas as I can now afford no presents nor can I afford to go to be with the rest of my family.
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A Christmas Carol
They both walked off into the night cursing their need to beg for a living.
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Bull week
Next week is bull week, no, maybe not at Imjack. Your Bull week. I met a lot of people who worked for Jeffrey who should have kept driving vans or serving food, but skilled people too. Good chaps all round, so look, get out there if Jeffrey started out selling pens so can you.
Stop fooling yourselves with all the failure crap. Thats not true.
Any how, Bull week coming up.
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Cool hand Luke
Remember the scene? where are you all now? Remember? No?
Let me remind you, Jeffrey can I have a new car? Jeffrey I need a sub. Jeffrey I know i'm a big shot but I've got no petrol money.
where are you?
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not long too go
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Posts 172 &173
He hasn't sacked people after they have worked for him for a full month and never paid them.
He has never humiliated people publicly.
He has never paid useless people because of the personal relationship he has with them or their family.
He has never sent multiple business into liquidation.
He has never tried to manipulate peoples lives for his own sick satisfaction.
He has never told a lie.
He has never defrauded anyone.
He always listens to others opinions.
He is a lovely guy soon to be a lovely failure.
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Poetry at its best!
He has gone from rich to poor
I have heard he wants to move abroad
As they won't know that he's a fraud
It's great to see him with no money
I find it so fucking funny
Hes looking fat and so very old
Hi business is closing this week so I'm told
So fuck you Morris ur a cunt
With you no one wants a punt
Ur finished so now let's raise a glass
To Jeffrey Morris the little fat brass
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Another Verse
About Jeffrey Morris the fat old scrote
Let's just hope that failing fuck
Never has another minutes luck.
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I have recently been alerted to this site, and as I have known Jeff Morris for over 20 years, I truly am shocked to the core as to how he has treated people. Whilst I am aware of his generosity in times gone by, albeit with other peoples money, it does not provide him with a licence to run rough shot over people like he is doing now. One good deed does not permit a bad deed! It is clear to me and the local community here in Leeds and Harrogate that yes, Jeff has indeed failed and ran out of luck and money and is no longer a man to be respected or even considered a stalwart of the local business community. He has clearly bought shame on all those he is associated with such as Michael Abrahams and Geoff Taylor who are good good people. The only bit of advice I can give you Jeffrey is that if you have failed, and it looks like you have, do the right and proper thing and show some honesty and try not to rub people up the wrong way by not paying staff and suppliers whilst putting your daughter in a brand new black Audi TT. It really does make you look even more pathetic by trying to put a show on to people here in Harrogate, as we all know what you are about, and cannot afford it.
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Continued from previous entry - sorry pressed wrong button in all the excitement!!
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THE TRUTH
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Is it going going gone
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Seven in the bag.
Seven due this week.
Cheers.
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Mmmm?
Failure? Mmmmm? I remember a conversation late one night took it in. You know, really in. Took it all in. Absorbed it. Thought about it as I drove, sold, as I ate. Stank of it, always stunk of it. Been stinking these past weeks as I've worked my christmas bells off. Dealing people, stench coming off me, watch glittering with every hand shake.Had a drink in Leeds the other night with some pals, stank!
New Year, soon, mmmmm? we'll see.
Merry Christmas.
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season for truth
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Re: season for truth
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let's tell the truth
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Bye bye Jeffrey Morris
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reporting Mr Jeffrey Morris and co
http://insolvency.gov.uk/complaintformcib.htm
More ppl report him the better
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Re 188 / A few good men
Merry Christmas, to Jeffrey and the work force.
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I don't like Morris either
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Re: I don't like Morris either
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time to say goodbye
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Re: Re 188 / A few good men
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Just facts
For all of those still there, commiserations. Looks like you are going to be sent home today with a small percentage of your wages (depending on who you are) and then some of you will be invited to work for the new business in January. This man is desperate and will say anything. REMEMBER HE NEEDS TO FIND £87,000.00 FOR THE COURT ORDER FROM STRAND HANSON LIMITED BY FRIDAY OR THEY WILL WIND HIM UP. IF THEY DON'T, OTHERS MOST CERTAINLY WILL.
For those of you looking for justice keep watching this space although you will enjoy the the confirmation of the £11 MILLION he has wasted in this business.
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The truth
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time to say goodbye
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WE TOLD YOU FIRST
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Forty three million lies and we can prove it.
There are many organisations very interested in his dodgy dealings , insider trading, diverting assets from creditors not to mention the interest being shown by HMRC regarding the dealings of The Media Buzz and his methods deployed in trying to obtain whitness statements.
Merry Christmas Jeffrey Morris
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A warning
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It's official - MORRIS IS A FAILURE!!!
I like that story about the quad bikes - well done Informer.
Let's not forget that Morris still has no money, still owes fortunes and is still getting sued by many people so do not be disenchanted with one silly announcement. I bet he never paid anyones wages but promised to pay them before they return after the break..............
I'm sure (in fact I know) that members of the Morris family will soon be receiving some legal mail to his negative equity house in the very near future - call them belated Christmas presents.
Finally, it is after all Christmas Day and for whatever you could / couldn't afford this morning as a result of Morris' actions be thankful for only one thing - YOU ARE NOT HIM BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE PROBLEMS IN COMPARISON TO HIM. HE IS AN OFFICIAL FAILURE!!!
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NEARLY THERE
http://www.lse.co.uk/SharePrice.asp?shareprice=IMJ
WE WOULD ALSO LIKE YOU TO POST ON ANY TEACHER OR LEA FORUMS ABOUT YOUR TRUE FEELINGS TOWARDS IMJACK. LOADS OF HEADS HAVE NOT SHOWN ANY FURTHER INTEREST AFTER WHAT THEY HAVE READ ONLINE SO LETS KEEP THIS CAMPAIGN BURNING BRIGHTLY.
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NEARLY THERE
http://www.lse.co.uk/SharePrice.asp?shareprice=IMJ
WE WOULD ALSO LIKE YOU TO POST ON ANY TEACHER OR LEA FORUMS ABOUT YOUR TRUE FEELINGS TOWARDS IMJACK. LOADS OF HEADS HAVE NOT SHOWN ANY FURTHER INTEREST AFTER WHAT THEY HAVE READ ONLINE SO LETS KEEP THIS CAMPAIGN BURNING BRIGHTLY.
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NEARLY THERE
http://www.lse.co.uk/SharePrice.asp?shareprice=IMJ
WE WOULD ALSO LIKE YOU TO POST ON ANY TEACHER OR LEA FORUMS ABOUT YOUR TRUE FEELINGS TOWARDS IMJACK. LOADS OF HEADS HAVE NOT SHOWN ANY FURTHER INTEREST AFTER WHAT THEY HAVE READ ONLINE SO LETS KEEP THIS CAMPAIGN BURNING BRIGHTLY.
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They cant pull the wool over our eyes
http://www.londonstockexchange.com/exchange/news/market-news/market-news-detail.html?announ cementId=10749442
Anyone see any irregularities with it? Please leave your comments below.
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Reply to previous post
Cheers.
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FID, Dec 21st, 2010 @ 2:29pm
serious fraud office= http://www.sfo.gov.uk/
http://insolvency.gov.uk/complaintformcib.htm
More ppl report him the better
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HER MAJESTYS HOTEL AWAITS MORRIS THE FAILURE
http://www.hwfisher.co.uk/site/cms/contentCategoryView.asp?category=256
We have successfully recruited VR (those of you reading this will know who she is) and we are in the process of looking for others who can help our cause and prevent this corporate thug from getting away with yet more shenanigans. We are on a crusade to ensure he is held accountable for EVERYTHING the authorities find it necessary to investigate him for.
As for Imjack - the process is in full swing having taken advice from some very interesting people who think we can get the assets of the business frozen within two weeks. There will however be further instructions posted on here as to how YOU can help.
You can also email anonymously to [email protected] and we urge you to do so.
THESE EMAILS ARE 100% untraceable and if you have any doubt please send from a pseudo (made up) email address. Regardless of whether you still work for the thug or you have previously been employed by him. WE REQUIRE AS MUCH INFORMATION AS POSSIBLE TO ENSURE THIS MAN LOSES EVERYTHING AND IF FOUND GUILTY OF WHAT WE THINK HE MAY BE GUILTY OF, WILL SPEND A LONG TIME IN PRISON.
THIS IS YOUR CHANCE TO REALISE JUSTICE.
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HER MAJESTYS HOTEL AWAITS MORRIS THE FAILURE
http://www.hwfisher.co.uk/site/cms/contentCategoryView.asp?category=256
We have successfully recruited VR (those of you reading this will know who she is) and we are in the process of looking for others who can help our cause and prevent this corporate thug from getting away with yet more shenanigans. We are on a crusade to ensure he is held accountable for EVERYTHING the authorities find it necessary to investigate him for.
As for Imjack - the process is in full swing having taken advice from some very interesting people who think we can get the assets of the business frozen within two weeks. There will however be further instructions posted on here as to how YOU can help.
You can also email anonymously to [email protected] and we urge you to do so.
THESE EMAILS ARE 100% untraceable and if you have any doubt please send from a pseudo (made up) email address. Regardless of whether you still work for the thug or you have previously been employed by him. WE REQUIRE AS MUCH INFORMATION AS POSSIBLE TO ENSURE THIS MAN LOSES EVERYTHING AND IF FOUND GUILTY OF WHAT WE THINK HE MAY BE GUILTY OF, WILL SPEND A LONG TIME IN PRISON.
THIS IS YOUR CHANCE TO REALISE JUSTICE.
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My opinion
So pathetic are you, you are like a bird with no wings. No Michael Abrahams or Jeff Taylor to help you, they can't wait to wipe their hands of you. You are on the verge of losing everything and even the people still working for you absolutely hate you. They say when you speak they cringe.
Rumour has it you have been running a business illegally so we are going to ask the authorities to investigate. There are other rumours too that I dare not mention on here. In fact rumors are rife and I hope for your sake they are unfounded.
This us what happens when you use people and knowingly negatively affect their lives. You see that is an evil thing to do and it invokes angry reactions. We don't ever use violence or lies and when it comes to you there is a wealth of information to use, we feel spoilt.
There is no escaping this time. Can you afford the lawyers bills or will you now qualify for legal aid?
For those of you who think Morris is happy let me assure you he isn't. He's usually in Barbados now but he can't afford it. He can't even afford to go to Blackpool. He can't go to Harrogate because everyone is laughing at him and his big shot family nor can he go to Leeds because he doesn't feel safe. He is stuck in his shack surrounded by a level of security that Obama would be proud of - I wonder why???
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AS REQUESTED
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Lets work to highlight the failure.
[email protected]
Lets demonstrate what we can do together.
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Please keep the teachers updated with whats going on, as they need to know.
Cheers and keep up the good work!!
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Failure Morris
This dirty scum bag will be taught an important lesson in how NOT to treat people.
Oh, Jeffrey Morris, you are in so much trouble and we are going to revell in watching it play out. In fact you are f****d and there is not a thing you can do about it.
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EVERY POST COUNTS
http://www.edugeek.net/forums/virtual-learning-platforms/68052-imjack.html#post 607458
REMEMBER EVERY POST COUNTS. DONT UNDER ESTIMATE THE POWER OF A POST ON A SITE LIKE THIS. WHEN THE SALES PEOPLE WENT ON CALLS A LOT OF HEADS WOULD QUOTE THIS SITE.
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Link Correction
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Campaign Update
[email protected]
We have currently had seven replies with calls scheduled tomorrow with four of the respondents.
We have also recruited a "big wig" from the city as well as some high-end, free legal representation. We do not feel this will be a long drawn out process but the more people we have on board the greater impact we have. We are also getting help from a couple of people Morris has had previous dealings with from the education sector - surprisingly he owes them money too so they have expressed a desire to assist. They again are high profile - one being an x advisor to the government.
Finally we would like some assistance in rounding up all the people that have been so cruelly sacked without pay from Imjack as we will be arranging a peaceful protest outside Mr Morris' office and then on to his home address but need to sync with a couple of interested journalists to ensure maximum exposure.
There may (will) be a case for us having to stop posting detailed updates on techdirt once the legal phase is in full swing so please sign up to the newsletter at [email protected] and stay updated.
Well done everyone so far and we thank you for your help.
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Wages Tomorrow or is he lying again
Watch this space.
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wages update
look like there going to be no wages for us
i hope im wrong or that prick gonna be in a spot of bother.
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Re: Wamey
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WAGES UPDATE - WE NOT BEEN PAID
There are not many people in the world that would treat people like this dog has treated us at christmas time. Now i know how all those people felt that he has done it to over the last few months.
i bet he pays Adam Gould coz he is used to sack everyone. Thats all he has done since arriving five years ago. What a lazy useless fucka. I imagine Morris keeps him there for some motive best known to himself. If anyone knows the reason please let us know.
He hasn't paid us and that means trouble for him. I will be surprised if anyone other than his thick useless brother in law turns up on the first day back. I will write again about that thick shit of a brother in law but the important thing now is getting paid.
and now a plea direct to jeffrey.
MORRIS YOU LOSER, PAY US FOR OUR WAGES THAT WE HAVE WORKED FOR AND EARNT YOU LIEING THIEF
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Pressure Pays
2011 is going to be a great year if your surname isn't Morris so let's raise a glass together, look forward and stay focused - the toast is....
BEST TOAST SUGGESTION WINS A PRIZE. ANSWERS ON THIS FORUM.GOOD LUCK
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2011 The Year Morris finally lost everything
We are proud of all of you and promise that we will not stop until EVERYONE has been paid for the time they work or until Morris and his business are declared officially bankrupt.
This is likely to be a straight forward process as it has recently been highlighted on another forum (you subscribers know which one i am referring to) all the illegal practices Morris has been involved with. We must stress at this early stage that these illegal practices are currently only alleged illegal practices. It is all very very exciting and we cannot wait.
We promise you that as regards Morris the Failure 2011 is going to be THE YEAR OF JUSTICE.
Happy New Year
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Also, one of the guys who works here went down to Bristol for Christmas and was shooting his mouth off that if he never got his money, he wasn't coming back. Guess what, Morris the Failure paid him - I wonder who this guys dad is. All guesses are welcome and the winner will get a free Morris the Failure 2011 calendar featuring all his failed businesses. Hahaha
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Morris the Slug
Don't know the guy in Bristol but I do know what everyone knpws and thats that Morris is now completely finished. I heard this weekend that he is now using illness as an excuse for his complete failure.
I was talking to an ex friend of his in Harrogate and found out that he apparently thinks he has a case going against a high street bank for 40 million and he is suing them for that amount in the hope they will settle with him for six or seven million. How funny! Oh, he also told me Morris doesn't speak to any of his old acquaintances anymore because he owes most of them significant sums of money.
Ssshhhhh, don't tell anyone but I also heard from a reliable source Michael Abrahams cannot wait to sever his association with Morris and following that he will never speak to him again because he has lost all respect for him. Remember, I'm not supposed to have repeated that.
One of the Harrogate boys he lulled into parting with some money said he been fucked by Morris but nothing like the way Morris is going to get fucked by the authorities when they investigate how this slug has been operating. I call him a slug because they leave slimy trails like Morris.
I going to buy him a belated Xmas gift and he likes the best so he's going to get the finest slug pellets I bought at the great Yorkshire show last summer.
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Morris the Failure
Yorkshire may have experienced a small earthquake last night but they want to brace themselves for the one thats going to hit Jeffrey Morris in the next 3-4 weeks. Tremors will be felt as far as Lombards Head office as well as Barclays Bank HQ.... Its going to be a big one.
Finally we have had confirmation that there is no way in this world that the SSAT will be going anywhere near The Days or Imjack and will begin distancing themselves at the forthcoming BETT event.
Lets face it, we brought down Imjack Secure Ltd, we are close to bringing Morris to justice and we promise you that Imjack PLC will be gone by March.
We are never wrong.
OH, i forgot to mention Did you all know that the main source of Morris' income is now a car park. We didnt, and neither did the tax man. Suffice to say they now Know ;-)
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Morris the Failure
Yorkshire may have experienced a small earthquake last night but they want to brace themselves for the one thats going to hit Jeffrey Morris in the next 3-4 weeks. Tremors will be felt as far as Lombards Head office as well as Barclays Bank HQ.... Its going to be a big one.
Finally we have had confirmation that there is no way in this world that the SSAT will be going anywhere near The Days or Imjack and will begin distancing themselves at the forthcoming BETT event.
Lets face it, we brought down Imjack Secure Ltd, we are close to bringing Morris to justice and we promise you that Imjack PLC will be gone by March.
We are never wrong.
OH, i forgot to mention Did you all know that the main source of Morris' income is now a car park. We didnt, and neither did the tax man. Suffice to say they now Know ;-)
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This campaign will not be running out of steam and Jeffrey Morris neads to understand that, and we will keep on going until this man learns that you cannot go round behaving like he does. By the way, I loved last weeks newsletter!
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LOW LIFE MORRIS
Facts are facts and here are a few of them:
1) He has no money left and is in negative equity.
2) He is terribly desperate.
3) He has absolutely no clue what he is doing.
4) He has had to sell personal possessions to pay his everyday bills.
5) He has had to sell his holiday home and has now tossd that money off.
6) He cant get a bank account......HAHAHAHAHA
7) He cannot borrow a penny from anyone.
8) He has never maintained a successful business.
9) He owes his one of his drivers in excess of £10K.
10) He used to have £40m......HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
and the list goes on................and on.................and on... like
11) He will never ever do business with the SSAT.
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CANT STOP LAUGHING
HE ABOUT TO THROW MORE MONEY AT THIS CATASTROPHE AND HE DOESNT EVEN KNOW WHAT HE IS DOING, HE HAS NO STRATEGY. HE IS LOST WITHOUT SSAT BUT WE MAKING HIM WASTE MORE MONEY BECAUSE HE THINKS IF HE GIVES UP THEN WE HAVE WON.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA......AT THIS RATE WE DONT WANT TO WIN. KEEP THROWING THE MONEY DOWN THE GRID AND HAVE EVERYONE RIDICULING YOU, YOU THICK FAT FAILURE.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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The Fraud Police
It would be wrong of me to predict what they may establish but it's fair to point out these authorities do not like "leaving empty-handed". Exciting times. There will only be one winner as was previously suggested - JUSTICE!!
Will keep you posted.
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Re: Pressure Pays
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Nice post
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Re: Nice post
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Re: Re: Nice post
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Pow! Ha-ha!
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Justice/Gold Rings
It would be wrong of me to predict what they may establish but it's fair to point out these authorities do not like "leaving without gold-rings". Exciting times. There will only be one winner as was previously suggested - SEGA!!
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Another happy customer!
http://www.e-customer-satisfaction.com/rev/1835/wamey-wamey-com-status:-voluntary-agreeme nt/details.php
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Give the man a break
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Enough is enough - yeah right
I don't know what strange little world you live in but proper companies pay their employees on the day they are supposed to - ALWAYS. And if he can't pay you when he's supposed to he doesn't have a viable business. Full stop.
If you're typical of the type of person who will speak up for Jeffrey Morris you can enlighten me here. Because I just looked at the latest accounts for ImJack (6 months to 31st March 2010) - a loss of £1.8 million in the process of generating £5,692.
So tell me - please - how does the management of an organisation that spends £320 for every £1 it earns, can't pay it's employees on time, commits insider trading by telling staff members to sell shares in their stock-market listed company and then threatens the people they've crapped on - retain the right to employ anyone ?
Go on - tell me.
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Re: Justice/Gold Rings - OBJECTION!
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Re: Enough is enough - yeah right
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We will get there
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Re:
....................../´¯/)
....................,/¯../
.................../..../
....... ....../´¯/'...'/´¯/`
........../'/.../..../....././¨¯\
........('(...´...´....¯~ /' . . .' )
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Re: Re:
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Morris the Fraud
i have heard he has borrowed money from his sister to pay Januarys salaries but noone will give him money for Februarys so it looks like the writing is on the wall.
Very funny post about him only having taken five thousand pounds in six months. If the company was on benefits it would have taken more than that.
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BREAKING NEWS
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Birds & Bees
Grass, BEES was fully endorsed by the SSAT as of you knew was on all the paperwork so what are you trying to say? Do let me know mate.
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And if so please clarify - are you saying Imjack accountants found an invoice that showed the chairman of Imjack authorised company funds to be spent on cosmetic surgery for his daughter, that amounted to more than the total accounted revenue for that company between October 2009 - March 2010 ?
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LETS PUT AN END TO THE FRAUD DEFRAUDING PEOPLE
imJack PLC
CVA and Notice of General Mee
RNS Number : 3368Z
imJack PLC
12 January 2011
IMJACK PLC
(the "Company" or "ImJack)
CVA and Notice of General Meeting
Further to the Company's announcement on December 24th 2010 (the "Announcement"), shareholders have now been written to, to inform them of the proposals to implement the CVA as described in the Announcement. As detailed in the letter, it is proposed to hold a General Meeting on 21st January 2011 where the appropriate resolution to approve the CVA will be put to shareholders.
The Company is continuing to make progress with the new business model referred to in the Announcement.
The letter to shareholders including the notice of General Meeting will be available shortly on the Company's website, www.imjack.com.
For further information please contact:
imJack Plc
Michael Abrahams Chairman
Tel. 01653 618016
Daniel Stewart & Company plc
Emma Earl/Paul Shackleton
Tel. 020 7776 6550
Rawlings Financial PR Ltd
Catriona Valentine
Tel. 01653 618016
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Re: LETS PUT AN END TO THE FRAUD DEFRAUDING PEOPLE
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We are in full swing
Thankfully someone has a list of all the schools who have previously bought the system and we are working our way through that list. We are also making the schools aware of the actual amount of mentors as well as the calibre of them.
We are getting a very interesting response and i think this is just the start of a very interesting chapter in our plight to see Morris business-less and penniless.
We will get there - we promise.
BTW....The venue for the general meeting on the 21st January is to be confirmed.
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A dose of perspective
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Response to Pseudonym
Any monies owed by Imjack Secure Communications Ltd will now be sought by perusing Jeffrey Morris personally. We will also be asking numerous questions in regard to his business dealings.
Just to make our position clear it is, or never has been, any intention of ours to affect the livelihoods of anyone but that of Mr Morris who has knowingly stolen from multiple people in his quest to remain in business. This therefore renders Mr Morris a fraud and a thief. As a result of these actions a demonstration is most certainly an appropriate course of action and one we intend to see through. The response rate has been high as is the amount of peoples lives he has affected by his fraudulent actions.
If Mr Morris so believes it is his intention to remunerate the people he owes money too as a result of his actions then it is suggested that he makes his proposal for repayment clear on this site for all to read. We are not looking for
anything other than repayment in full of all those who worked in the full knowledge of Mr Morris that he had no intention of paying them.
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"i think this is just the start of a very interesting chapter in our plight to see Morris business-less and penniless."
"...or until Morris and his business are declared officially bankrupt."
"i hope im wrong or that prick gonna be in a spot of bother."
"...and lets keep up the momentum to make sure the failure wastes another £11 million."
"WE REQUIRE AS MUCH INFORMATION AS POSSIBLE TO ENSURE THIS MAN LOSES EVERYTHING..."
I did not intend to portray Jeffery Morris as the victim. I understand he owes past employees money. But I also understand that he is trying his best to reimburse you.
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Stop typing unadulterated nonsense
You are under the absolute misapprehension that I have made all those quoted comments.
I have no clue as to who you are but i can assure you that Mr Morris has upset more than a handful of people of which everyone has their own agenda. Unfortunately I am unable to speak for all those directly or indirectly affected by Morris' greed.
As for the comment in the previous post which I did write it is believed "with good reason" that Morris is trading insolvent hence if he did the honourable thing and liquidates the PLC he will be both business-less and penniless, and yes, that is my wish.
Morris is an unscrupulous little prick who leaves a trail of victims behind him in whatever he has previously done business-wise. He is not to be trusted and MUST be held accountable. It is evident you are not a victim which renders you unqualified to discuss the stress, aggravation and upset he has heaped onto the lives of many.
For the record - Morris has made NO attempts to reimburse anyone besides for paying off his sons friend which in itself was an act of cowardice. Especially considering he had worked in the business for only eight weeks and was from a wealthy family with no dependants. Morris wanted to avoid confrontation with his family, who he knows socially, so decided to make him the only person he paid.
If this is a way to somehow legitimise Morris' actions I strongly advise you start a new thread where all the people that respect and look-up to Morris can post.
If you type "techdir" into google the third auto-complete option is "Techdirt Jeffrey Morris" so you can imagine how popular this thread is becoming and we haven't started yet.
Keep reading as the campaign to seek justice continues at pace.
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Showing yourself up
PLEASE STOP INSULTING PEOPLE WITH YOUR UNINFORMED POSTS
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More evidence of My Morris' arrogance
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I was not labouring under the misapprehension that you made all those comments. I was, in fact, quoting the other wronged individuals. Strange though that you claim to not be speaking for the group, yet you make heavy use of the first-person plural personal pronoun, 'we', so it is evident that you are no different from the rest here who would see those left at the company burned in the pursuit of satisfaction.
In fact it is you who are under the misapprehension that I am not owed money by Jeffery Morris. Quite the opposite, but Mr Morris helped me greatly in the past and so I do not doubt that he intends to rectify this situation.
So sure are you that Jeffery Morris is not to be trusted, yet how can I trust an anonymous collective whose claims are riddled with contradiction?
You call me uninformed. That is something I cannot deny. I am not attempting to legitimise Mr Morris' past actions, whatever they may be, for I lack the knowledge to comment on them. But after all the time I have spent reading these comments I am left no more enlightened as to his alleged injustices. You have failed to leave me any better informed.
I am sorry that you were offended by my comments. I merely wish to urge all of you to not lose faith that Mr Morris will pay you back. And I implore you not to pursue any rash action, as the risk of hurting the company's current employees is very high indeed.
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Re: More evidence of My Morris' arrogance
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Don't be naive. You won't see a penny from Morris.
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I am sure, since you call me naive, that you have extensive first-hand experience of all of Jeffery Morris' business dealings, including the ones you believe are criminal. My faith in our pending reimbursement remains unshaken.
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How much is that failure paying you?
The chances are that if you know Jeffrey Morris then he owes you money.
It is indeed your posts that are riddled with contradictions - not mine. You honestly are out of your depth when talking about his desire to pay. He has purposely abandoned the company we were all employed by for the sole purpose to alleviate any legal responsibility to pay us. You are talking absolute rubbish. And as for the CVA.................£500K in three months when his overall income for the previous six months was sub £6k. Please dont insult your own intelligence.
For the record "we" alludes to a minimum of 2 people although whilst i act alone i am mindful of the tens of people that Jeffrey Morris has wronged hence the referral to "we". Its really not that difficult to comprehend.
Facts are facts. He knowingly had most of these people work up to one whole month knowing he was going to sack them on the final day of the month without pay. As far as I, or indeed any respectable person, would interpret that is as PRE MEDITATED THEFT.
It is quite transparent as to who you are and it is advised that in order not to damage your own career you cease to defend a certain failure and fraud. Your loyalty will undoubtedly backfire sometime in the future and you will then utilise any mode possible to recover what you are owed from that immoral low life. I actually pity your posts and you motive for writing them.
Anyway Jeffrey Morris does not need you to defend him as he will need a more powerful legal representation when requested to respond to all sorts of charges. If i was a gambling man i would say even Morris will be surprised when he sees the charges that will be brought against him in the near future.
And as for you Pseudonym - why do you sometimes hijack the name (anonymous coward"
There will only be one winner and that will be justice and i am able to call him a thief and a fraud as i have direct experience of both. i imagine the words the judge will use in his summing-up will be far harsher but that remains to be seen.
Finally dont you think it is a little disproportionate the amount of people that detest the little crook to ONLY YOU who attempts to defend him. Perhaps you are right and we are all wrong.
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Re: Response to Pseudonym
That's the point of a Limited Company, limited liability. Send IMJack down the pan and you'll be taking a case against a liquidated company for remuneration, good luck with that one...
I too am still owed some money by Mr Morris, I'm not posting under a pseudonym as I don't see the point in this therefore you can verify my claims if you wish.
Personally I believe what 'Mr Pseudonym' is saying with regards to pay. The CVA and current BEES project is everybody's best chance of getting paid what they are owed, and I have heard several times Mr Morris promise to do everything within his power to pay people what they were owed. If I didn't believe this then I would have cut my loses months ago rather than risking more periods without pay. I work my arse off to support my partner and 2 kids and I certainly wouldn't stick around if I thought Mr Morris' intentions where to screw everybody over.
Just try not to forget that there are still people who rely on their job at IMJack.
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Can I also suggest that if you lack enlightenment as to Mr Morris' alleged injusticies from reading these comments, you are -
A) Unable to read
or
B) An imbecile
Respectfully
Pronoun
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Re: How much is that failure paying you?
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'pierce the corporate vail' and hold a director/s or a person/s acting in the capacity of a director responsible. Based on this doctrine Garry, you may find that you're boss will have to answer personally for the actions and endeavours of this company. If you research jeffrey Morris and look into the amount of companies he's had, and subsequently shut down, it does not look good for him.
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Either way, that was not the point of my comment. The point of my comment was to draw attention to the fact that people still work at IMJack that rely on that job to pay bills and feed their children, as I'm sure lots of those who were let go did, and it's in my honest opinion that I believe Mr Morris intends on paying everybody the amounts outstanding.
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Gary - Call the SSAT
I assume you must have been involved in development at Imjack and I imagine, luckily for you, have no history with Jeffrey Morris. Let me assure you now - Jeffrey Morris has no intention of paying you because I was there when he rubbed his hands together and said quote "got rid of the shit and if they think they will get a shilling from me they are badly mistaken. That doesn't sound like a man with good intentions of paying.
As for the BEES programme. Why dont you call the SSAT this morning and ask for the head of development and ask him/her about the BEES programme. The response you will receive will be very interesting simply because the SSAT have no idea of the existence of anything called the BEES programme let alone endorse it. Jeffrey Morris fraudulently used the SSAT logo on the paperwork as BEES was simply made-up by Jeffery Morris
Perhaps you ought to make that call them by all means make your findings public.
I look forward to hearing from you.
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Re: Gary - Call the SSAT
Unfortunately I can't comment on anything Mr Morris may or may not have said, as I have already stated it is my opinion.
It's also not my place to comment on deals with the SSAT and I will not be drawn into debate on this.
Like I have previously said, I posted on here to remind people that there are still people who are employed by IMJack and that probably the only way anyone is going to get paid is if the company turns itself around and starts to make some money.
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Re: Gary - Call the SSAT
I've worked for this company for over 2 years now and have gone through several stages of only being paid half a wage, or not being paid until most of the way through the next month. And currently I am owed a substantial amount of month from Octobers salary still. However, Mr Morris has always paid fully in the end and always offered to help out those who needed it whilst they were waiting for wages.
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Re: First-person plural personal pronoun
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Gary, The Informer is right, you ought to check out Mr Morris before you draw on your own "lucky" experience. If you think the reverse psychology tactic of revealing your identity and defending Morris by way of getting paid then you are wasting your time. If you are still employed by the company (which i suspect you are) then I promise you those that were sacked, having worked, without being paid will NOT be paid their outstanding wages. You however may still get paid.
LETS NOT LET ANY OF THIS DEFLECT FROM THE PROPOSED DEMO WE WILL BE HAVING AT IMJACK OFFICES ON 21st JANUARY. THANK YOU TO ALL THOSE INTENDING TO ATTEND AND FOR ALL THOSE OF YOU ARE UNSURE - YOUR ATTENDANCE WILL MAKE A HUGE DIFFERENCE. THE TIME OF THE DEMO IS TO BE CONFIRMED.
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The man is a hated monster and is talked about in many circles. Everyone hates (and i dont use the word lightly) him and his associates.
Well done to all of you for the expose and thank you on behalf of me.
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Reverse psychology tactic? I have never posted on this thread before these recent comments. All posts by me are labelled as such.
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Unmasked
I understand why some of the more ridiculous participants in this forum are unwilling to reveal their identity - it's difficult to justify much of the hatred and hyperbole being touted around. Identifying oneself when posting what is, frankly, bullshit, is not sensible; at least if you're worried about the UKs notably stringent libel laws.
However, "Mr Ex Employee", as the self apppointed organiser of the forthcoming demo, why don't you come out of the shadows and post under your real name? It's not like it's going to be a secret for much longer, assuming you have the "balls of steel" to attend your own protest, eh?
Personally, I'm quite looking forward to seeing all those old faces on the 21st. Perhaps after you've stood around underneath the trees for a while *again* (plus ca change, eh?) and made whatever point it is you're trying to make, we can go and get a pint?
I'd just like to add how much I am enjoying this exchange. Reminds me of the old school Usenet flame wars circa 1991 - good old days.
*plonk*
Ah. That takes me back.
Zorro, masked avenger
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May I also ask you how you feel about Imjack's future software development capability since 80% of your colleagues were sacked?
It is also interesting how you have developed the selfish attitude of protecting your own interests whilst not giving a toss about those of your x-colleagues.
Also interesting that you quote the BEES deal as one of Morris' strategies to pay people what he owes them without even knowing that the BEES deal was a lie that indeed never existed.
Finally, and I am not 100% certain of this, but I believe all the developers were paid by a separate company to that of the rest of the employees. Just another indication of how devious Mr Morris is.
You will be pleased to know that a certain Ms Byron and a Mr Lilley are pleased to be championing our corner so you can tell the fat failure that things are not looking great for him.
The campaign is going well my friend and the machine will not stop until justice for all is realised.
Oh, Did you forget to list the false accusations? In your own time
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Re: Hypocrite
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I'm can also assure you that Mr Morris did not ask any member of the development team to try an 'track' any IP addresses of anybody posting to this thread. However, I can't vouch for any body else who is not a developer, you'll have to ask them unfortunately.
I can tell you that my payslip, and my bank account, received money from the usual source last pay day so I don't know where you got that information from.
I'm not sure how managing to avoid being made redundant then continuing on with my job is considered being selfish? Would you like me to quit the company in a fit of outrage and put unnecessary stress on my young family just to support your cause? No, I'm doing what you would do if you were still employed by the company, getting on with it.
And currently I feel that IMJacks future development capacity is perfectly adequate, but that you for your concern.
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Re:
I was supposed to say 'thank you for your concern', not 'that you'...
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Give it up mate. You are making a complete clown of yourself. Your arguments are naive at best.
Why dont you answer the questions you have been asked rather that attempting to defend a corporate rogue who has wrecked the lives of many for varying reasons.
I am not having a 1-2-1 with you on here. You cant back up anything you say but I will ask you one final time:
1) Please confirm the authenticity of the BEES programme and the endorsement of it by the SSAT.
Im afraid if you are unable to do that, and given that 98% of any revenues were taken using this scheme then I would say it renders the workings fraudulent and is open to action.
Desperate people do desperate things and Morris is a desperate person.
I have read this thread over and over again and please be assured that there are very few false accusations on here -and I mean very few.
Finally Gaz, as we wont be speaking again, allow me to leave you with some genuine advice. You say you have a young family and to that end may i suggest you look for alternative employment to enable you to maintain your ability to provide for them.
Regardless of what you have been told there is no-one in that business who understands what is going on who genuinely believes there is a chance of meeting 10% of the CVA criteria. Please take some time out to digest it and draw your own conclusions but when that business finally and officially fails at the end of April you will find yourself out in the cold and regretting these petty acts of loyalty.
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Really?
What? All 318 posts? Even the biblical ones? You do really have too much time on your hands. May I suggest getting a job?
Good of you to give the company 3 months, though, that will come in handy.
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I'm also unsure of how I'm making a clown of myself? I came here to give my opinion, I was then asked some questions to which I didn't want to get involved with and have hopefully dispelled some myths with regards to the development teams involvement in any of this. I'm not entirely sure how that makes me look like a clown?
I have also never endorsed people not receiving pay and I do not think this is an ideal situation for anyone.
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"Mr Morris asked you smart arse developers to try and track the IP addresses of the posts..." False
"...80% of your colleagues were sacked?" False
"It is also interesting how you have developed the selfish attitude of protecting your own interests whilst not giving a toss about those of your x-colleagues." False
"Finally, and I am not 100% certain of this, but I believe all the developers were paid by a separate company to that of the rest of the employees." False
Wow - four in just one comment. At this rate, I fear I may not have the time or the energy to highlight them all.
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Re:
Horse dumpings. Boy, this false accusation spotting is tiring.
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Unmasked: Mr The Informer
You, Sir, are a charlatan.
> Post 199: Dec 22nd, 2010 @ 1:38pm
> If I get paid this week, it will be my last pay check
> from him (as it will be with others) as most of us will
> not be going back.
Everyone got paid at Xmas and everyone came back. Big talk from little men.
> Post 241: Dec 30th, 2010 @ 7:44am
> Hahahahaha. The failure has just paid us into our banks.
> Looks the pressure from this site has done it's job. I
> think I will go back now in January and take his stinkin
> money. Cheers Jeff the Failure, I am going to enjoy
> spending the money.
Hmmmmm. I thought you weren't coming back?! Principles, what of them? Big talk from little men.
> Post 229: Dec 27th, 2010 @ 3:53am
> We will never let Jeffrey Morris forget what he has done
> to us, he will regret it for evermore.
He will regret what? Paying you on time at the end of December? Big talk from little men.
Ta-raa.
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Re:
But you do admit to false accusations being presented here, however few there may be.
And you read this thread thoroughly, did you? So you also see that the vast majority of these comments are bitter ex employees whining about how they haven't received their pay quite as quickly as they would like, and the rest are the false accusations you have admitted to. No citations, just hearsay.
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Re:
We've wasted an obscene amount of time for all the scandalous material that you said you were going to post, all for nothing. All we have to show for it are 200+ comments of petulant bastards hurling abuse at someone who fully intends to pay them back (as well as anyone who attempts to bring balance to the debate - not that I am claiming to be one of them).
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"Perhaps instead of me questioning particular comments, you and your cronies could tell us the whole story"
Either you are totally thick or you are totally thick.
I have two questions for you and instead of trying to be smart just answer them with a simple yes or no:
1) Did Imjack sack in excess of twenty people at the end of October 2010 without paying them and those people are still awaiting their money?
2) Did the BEES programme ever exist and was it endorsed by the SSAT (I know there are two questions there but the clue is that its the same answer for both of them) ?
Please cut your smart arse crap and answer those two questions.
Lets see if you answer them and if your responses are as quick as when you were sat in the office doing nothing.
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Re: Unmasked: Mr The Informer
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Glen is a smart fellow who understands the difference between right and wrong and unless I have read him completely inaccurately I cant see him posting on here. He is a good guy who Morris held back from furthering his career when he was accepted for a job with a large mobile operator.
Obviously my guess is that it is Stewart. He uses the name eatenbyfoxes on twitter and on some online forums so he is a frequent post-er.
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Re:
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May i suggest you read the announcements your employers make to the London Stock Exchange before typing such utter nonsense.
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Re:
Fine. I, however, will do you the courtesy of answering your questions as best I can:
1) Never at any point, in any capacity, in any conceivable manner did I ever even attempt to deny that. In fact, in almost every single comment I have made, I have stated that I am owed some money by Mr Morris, but am confident that he will honour that debt. You would have to be a raging imbecile to even consider asking me that question.
2) I cannot say, as whatever you are referring to was before my time at the company.
Looks like the answers weren't the same, after all. I do apologise if that upsets you.
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Re:
But clearly I was mistaken. It seems that Jeffrey Morris is just a man who owes some people money, but will pay it back. If I challenged you to prove, beyond any reasonable doubt, that Mr Morris will not pay you back, I highly doubt you would be able to.
And anyway, if that is all this is really about, you are making an awful lot of noise about it - like an angry, flatulent pig trying to tie balloon animals.
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Re:
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This renders your posts as totally unreliable.
If as you claim you were not in the business when they were lying to schools about the "SSAT endorsed BEES" programme, which finished in December, It becomes clear you have only been working there for two weeks. Yet you claim to be owed money from October.
YOU ARE A LIAR AND YOU HAVE BEEN CAUGHT OUT MATE
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Thats £11 000 000.00 +
I have a sneeky suspicion he is hoping that where theres life theres hope.
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Thats £11 000 000.00 +
I have a sneeky suspicion he is hoping that where theres life theres hope.
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Re:
If we're going on inconsistencies as to how reliable a comment is then I too mate am afraid to say you're also shit out of luck on the reliability scale too.
Hence why we've been asking for evidence to support your claims of illegal activity. It has been promised several times but never emerged. Would it be possible to email me the details of the 'legal high flyer' your group claims to have looking at this case so it can be discussed with him instead?
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Re:
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Lets let the authorities decide as you and i having a techdirt volley is likely to achieve nothing.
As far as we are concerned Techdirt has now done its job (and some job that is) and the results will become apparent in due course.
Lets not forget if we were paid on time for the time we worked there would have been no campaign. Did you expect us to work for October, November or half of December, not get paid for it, and say "thank you Jeffrey", when everyone else got paid you fucking retard.
SEE YOU AT THE DEMO ON 21st JANUARY TO COINCIDE WITH THE SHAREHOLDERS MEETING - TIME TO BE CONFIRMED.
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Another speculative £60K to chase ELEVEN MILLION POUNDS is a gamble worth taking.
And whilst retards like you accept half wage packets on the back of promises his exposure will probably be more like £40K.
Grow up
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Re:
I suppose if anyone asked you to back up this claim, they would be met with another volley of baseless aggression, as that seems to be all you are capable of.
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Can't wait, do you guys want any refreshments making up?
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YOU COMPLETE MORON.
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This is not a threat from me as i am not that way inclined but i have heard some whispers that i find deplorable but at the same time I am being 100% honest with you. Put yourself first as i can assure you that your posts will irritate those who couldn't afford presents for their excited young kids at Christmas etc.
I detest that kind of behaviour but we both know it exists in society and there is nothing you or I can do to stop it.
Have a good weekend and please digest what im saying.
Be good to have a chat sometime and perhaps we could actually achieve something. Have a good weekend.
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Re:
Also, please don't take my posts as loyalty to anybody except myself and my family, as I have stated in every one of my posts here, this is my opinion and nothing further.
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This is the choice I'm left with, Xmas has just passed, my daughter's 4th birthday was last Sunday, my sons 1st birthday is in march and I'm getting married at the start of April so trust me, I'm well versed in frustration pertaining to money, or lack thereof.
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Remember Morris surrounds himself with 2 bodyguards that the company pays for and you dont have that luxury. You have a family and a few comments on here isn't worth any aggo.
Sorry for the unnecessary insults but it did appear as though you were trying to defend the indefensible at one stage. Trust me when i sat that when you are on the receiving end of this monster and his antics it is infuriating.
Good luck mate - hope things go well for you and please take my advice.
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But at least my corpse will get the money owed by Jeffery Morris, because I know he will pay us back.
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However, due to the nature of this comment, and the fact I do believe it is a thinly veiled threat or that you know where these supposed 'whispering' originated then I have already taken sufficient action to report this incident to the authorities as I take any threat against me or my family very seriously indeed whether I give that threat much credence or not.
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Couldn't resist
Yes, I am making light of the situation with playful jibes and biting sarcasm, but make no mistake. I do understand how Ex Employee, Mr Informer et al. have suffered. But I also know that they need only wait, and they will be repaid. By becoming too bitter you are only doing yourself a disservice.
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Just for the record I made no threat of any description and have never heard of anyone that wishes to harm you in any way. i simply provided you with some advice that i would heed myself had i of been in your position.
Strange overreaction but I personally have nothing to hide so feel free to report this to who you like. When you report it make sure you tell the authorities that you have been inciting ex colleagues by condoning and defending theft.
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Im sorry but you are either a member of the Morris family or you are just wallowing in the despair of others.
I am not trying to get one over on you but please dont take the piss out of people who have worked and not been paid. What makes it worse is that the only reason they were sacked is because the company could not afford to pay them so why make them work that month.
Whats more I believe Morris told Mr Jacobs this was going to happen at the beginning of October so he had people working there for a month knowing he had no intentions of paying them.
Indefensible.
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Quite uncertain
I do wish that things could be different though, and this is the first time which I have felt the desire to post on this site. I dislike hiding my identity, and I do not have any legal cases open, so I don't see why everyone shouldn't know who I am.
My contribution to this debate is that I haven't yet seen anybody stand up for the way in which the company has continually kept those that have been sacked in the dark. I stayed on through quite a lot of the employee cull, and whilst to an extent I can understand the need to lose a lot of staff the manner in which it was carried out was deplorable. Not just that but those still at the company seem to be continually told of the ongoing efforts to pay staff that have left, but this converts to absolute silence once you are out of the door.
I do not wish to criticise any individual, but more point out that as a whole the policy of ignoring staff that have quit until legal proceedings begin only invites more aggravation than is necessary. To then find inflammatory comments such as "the vast majority of these comments are bitter ex employees whining about how they haven't received their pay quite as quickly as they would like" and I have chosen a particularly harsh example to well illustrate my point, it becomes nothing short of dramatic. As far as anyone knows I may have a bitter landlord whining about how he hasn't received my rent as quickly as he would like, is that illegitimate?
I find threats lurking everywhere, whether it be being threatened about 'cyber-investigators' finding out if I ever post anything online and stopping me ever working again, or a little warning from a friend that perhaps revealing my identity might provoke a reaction against me personally from some source or another. I always had a lot of time for Jeffrey Morris, I found him a warm, friendly, and witty character, but the fear and hatred that pervades these discussions is certainly undermining the faith which I had originally in his character.
If there is any intention for my wages to be paid to me it would be nice to receive something in writing saying so, until this happens I am unable to believe this intention is genuine. I think that is fair enough.
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I could even be both, but I am in fact neither. I am simply a concerned individual hoping that all those who are owed money will keep the faith and avoid making threats against others, no matter how subtle.
I reiterate that your claims are shocking, but you have given us absolutely no reason to believe they are true (hearsay and rumour do not count).
It is not my intention to belittle the suffering of others. I am simply tired of someone who, when faced with even the slightest challenge to the validity of his claims - note that I am referring to the claims that Mr Morris has done more than not pay those he owes money to - responds with all the grace of a masturbating chimp.
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So the stealing of money is not enough for you to detest someone knowing they made you work knowing they couldn't pay you.
I think you have made enough of a fool of yourself without me having to make things worse for you. Its little surprise you make an analogy to a masturbating chimp - did you get the inspiration whilst looking in the mirror?
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Re: Quite uncertain
I'm sorry if you were offended by my comments. I can see how they might be construed as an insult to all those who lost their jobs.
I too know something of irritated landlords and panic over finances. I do sincerely hope that all of you have managed to find alternative employment and have survived these past few months.
Please don't be sucked in by the pessimism demonstrated here. I don't care what strangers in Harrogate have apparently said about Mr Morris. All I know is that Jeffrey Morris has been good to me, and I am not a family member or a close personal friend. He has helped me when I needed it and that is why I am certain he will not abandon everyone now.
I apologise if that is not enough for you, and I do think your position is fair enough. Just know that when we receive good news it will be shared with you.
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If that is true, then the man would be rather contemptible. But you have offered nothing to back up your claim that Mr Morris knew that he couldn't pay you. Therefore I am forced to consider your statements, however passionate, as false.
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Still not convinced
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I was a friend of the accused and having been told about Techdirt I took a look. I decided to "poke the fire" but on reflection and given the hurt and passion carried by the victims I'm going to cease my campaign.
Some of us have warped senses of humor.
Night night tweetie pie
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Maria
I applaud your sense of restraint but please be assured that EVERY post on here that allude to the injustices of Jeffrey Morris are all qualified and contain no fabrication. Part of the way he lures you in is by the sensational act he portrays in appearing warm, friendly and generous.
Facts are facts though and we both know whether Jeffrey Morris employed people without paying them. This act on its own is an act of pre meditated theft.
This pseudonym person is clearly some sort of trouble maker and i imagine that despite his most recent post he will appear again, possibly under another alias.
It has been a difficult time for a lot of families as a direct result of Jeffrey Morris' unscrupulous behaviour and that genuine emotion is what is being highlighted on this forum.
The good news is that this thread has been read in many crooks and crannies you would never have imagined and believe it or not is having a very powerful effect.
We must not abandon this campaign by writing the truth and only the truth. Threats and suchlike are not welcome on here
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Musings from the dog net
Maria, thank you for your post, it is by a large margin the best written and well-thought out article of the 369 and counting that are on this page. We didn't speak much when you were here, but I thought highly of you. I hope that you have been able to have some kind of Xmas and are moving on with a new job. I also hope that you do get what you are owed and if I could personally do anything about that, I would. However, I cannot.
I doubt that anyone would make any defense of the silence that does seem to pervade when someone leaves and is subsequently not paid, nor indeed of the act of not paying someone for the time they honestly put into the company. I certainly am not and never have done. Don't think that the silence is much less deafening for those that remain...it's part of the culture of the company I have always disliked.
"Ex Employee", you seem to be the only person actively pursuing this thread. You're the one organising the demo on the 21st, in any case, so please answer me (and the rest of us) this.
Bad things happen sometimes.
However, the case in point here is.... "is it JM responsible for the bad things that have happened to those posting here"?
There is a distinct and legal difference between *knowing* that you cannot pay someone at the beginning of the month and letting them work for a month unpaid, and *not knowing* at the beginning of the month how you will pay the wage bill, but trying your best through sales and investment to ensure that the money is there. It's damned difficult to prove culpability of this type. The difference is of utmost importance and I have seen nothing posted here that proves or even implies the first case, other than your word.
You know this, I know you do. You're an intelligent man, I know that too. (yes, I am certain of your true identity - but I'm not going to reveal my suspicion if you choose to remain cloaked in mystery).
My colleagues and friends were made redundant at the end of October and I feel most heavily how all of them have suffered to a greater or lesser extent. Even though all of them now have jobs and are moving on, I want nothing more than for them to be paid what they are owed, and for the developers, whom (along with one or two others - did you know that?) have not been paid in full for October.
However, what do you hope to achieve? Is the payment of the 20-odd staff who left in October enough for you? Does it end there? Or will you only be happy with the closure of IMJack? The bankruptcy of JM personally? The tarring and feathering of the entire family? I don't get from you that this is about money, rather that this is about revenge. Is it about revence? Is it?
Zorro
-- defender of truth, justice and all things beautiful, even masterbating chimps (we love ya, man!)
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Really?
Please note that the following quote is from a post made by someone using the alias "Pseudonym", but that person was not me:
That is a woefully desperate move. So, when bleating your unsubstantiated claims didn't work, you tried idle threats. Now that has failed, you've moved on to hijacking the alias I was using in an attempt to undermine me?
Nothing you do will stop me from preaching patience to those who are still awaiting their money. And this is a shameful attempt to avoid the issue that you have yet to substantiate your more shocking claims.
Some of us do indeed have warped senses of humour. I am one of them. That is something I cannot deny. What I can deny is that I would never, ever, even if my immortal soul was at stake, use the phrase "night night tweetie pie".
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Allow me to prove to you beyond doubt that Jeffrey Morris did indeed know on 30/09 that (barring a corporate lottery win) he was going to be in no position to honour Octobers wages.
My argument is no different to that of Maria's or any of the other people who were "used". Your defence of Jeffrey Morris is an insult to us all but I put it down to naivety. What i mean by that is assuming I am correct in my suspicion as to your identity then there was plenty you were not aware of.
I have been asked to be the voice on here and have no problem with that. In return for that there are others conducting the "behind the scenes" campaign.
i dont however endorse some of the personal jibes. I cant be held responsible for the wrath of others.
Please call anytime.
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Truth or lies?
"Ex Employee". I am not defending JM, not the actions of those around him relating to non-payment and silence with ex-employees; I have never approved of either. Nor do I have any illusions whatsoever about how he operates and what he is prepared to do to be successful, but there again I expect nothing else of people who do try to be successful in business. Difference is that I think that trying to make something work and reaping the rewards is more beneficial than complaining and still taking the man's money (that's more for those claiming to still be working and yet posting on this thread, rather than a comment to you, you understand).
My question to you was and remains "what do you hope to achieve?". You have been silent on this point. Any answer?
Zorro
*boink*
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Gestalt entity
Anyway, so that we may all understand the scale of this, are you able to say for how many you speak, without of course naming names?
Zorro
-- Silence is golden
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Let me answer you genuinely and honestly.
Without exception the ideal scenario would be that we are all paid what we are owed and that would mean closure.
However no steps have been taken by Morris to make any kind of resolution and to the contrary the announcement on 24/12 is beyond doubt a tactic to ensure relief of his liability to pay those debts.
In terms of what we hope to achieve.
It transpires that Morris had told various people differing tales about what their futures and the future of the business held. He lulled some people into a false sense of security whilst blatantly lying to others. To that end it would be justice of sorts to see Jeffrey Morris held to account and this is what we would like to achieve. Admittedly a distant second place to being remunerated however a justice or sorts.
As this has become rather civil may I ask you a question please, one you seem to be evading answering:
You clearly appreciate that people worked for up to four weeks without being paid and I am sure you can imagine the suffering they and their loved ones encountered as a result.
If you are posting because you dont like the comments about his daughters awful attitude or the post about her false breasts or other personal issues then I would understand and I dare say agree but please dont continue to defend the wages scenario.
I speak for myself but am in contact either directly or indirectly with everyone (bar 2) of the people morris has sacked without pay since October.
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If you have made an incorrect guess as to who i may be then leave me a number somewhere and i will call you.
I honestly believe the Techdirt posts will slow down dramatically after the proposed demo on the 21st Jan when people can collectively be seen and heard and make their feelings known.
Following that all action will take place through legal and investigative channels only.
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get over it lol...i have
everyone there was friendly n we had some laffs
(winding up victor ha)
Dont get me wrong tho, i am also owed money but if the man cant pay it then he cant pay it.
if u owed someone money n they kept callin u a cunt then ur not gonna feel lke payin them r u.
hopefully Im jack will take of n weil be sorted.
if not...shit happens, and im sure that not getin paid by jeffrey isnt the worst thing that could happen in ur lifetime
Safe
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Demo 21-01-2011
Please heed this advice. This is not an act of defeat in fact to the contrary you will see some surprises happening in the very near future.
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Pathetic
Were you one of the few that were paid by the business but worked at Jeffrey Morris's private residence because there was no "Danny T" working there.
Good try though mate.
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Re: Pathetic
One still works there, the other worked in sales and was let go some time last year.
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If you are so interested in the wellbeing and future stability of the company why dont you voice your opinion concerning all the people payed by the business but in actual fact do nothing for the business and undertake personal work for Jeffrey Morris.
I respect your loyalty but it is naive as you honestly do not know the half of it. Why dont you do a little research, you wont learn a lot, but what you will do is hopefully realise that there is plenty credence in our accusations.
Good luck.
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Detect this.
Neither Garry nor Pseudonym nor myself, nor anyone else posting here from with the company, have made any effort whatsoever to make claims that it is right or proper to not pay people for their time in employment. All of us have at one time or another indicated that we are unhappy about the situation.
Please, please, please therefore will you stop making out that we are naive or in some way misguided, because it is boring.
Bear in mind also that we have all read this entire post, and related ones and are very familiar with the claims, counter-claims, bullshit & facts.
However, let me ask you to do this for us.
Point us in the direction of any other source of information about JM or the company substantiating or backing up the allegations made here. This source must not be associated with this article or made/created by those also posting here.
I'm not sure you can. Perhaps you are the naive one; believing everything you read?
Every person remaining with the company knows enough about JM and the way the company is run to make their own decision about whether they stay or not. It is our choice. We have free will and we exercise it. Respect that as we respect your fight for the money that is rightfully owed to you.
See you Friday? Or not...?
Zorro
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Pathetic? Good point.
Zorro
-- defender of solid research
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Re: Pathetic? Good point.
Ouch. That's a torpedo straight into the side of HMS Bullshit.
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Re: Detect this.
You claim we only know half the story, yet you have failed, time and again, to tell us everything you know - the information that would insert its great, magical cock into our ears and fuck our minds. Instead, when we ask for proof, all we get is rebuked for our supposed naïveté.
Honestly, I'm now of the firm belief that you never had anything to begin with. I'm sure this will be met with the standard bleating from the usual suspects and cries that there is, in fact, a lot of facts that we are not aware of - but nothing is going to be divulged here. Instead we will be given some vague timeline for a big reveal which guarantees to "surprise" us all.
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Personal work for Mr Morris? That's a cracker,it really is... What personal work is this then exactly? If you could please fill me in then I can invoice appropriately as I've obviously missed that one off my books...
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http://maps.google.com/maps/ms?ie=UTF&msa=0&msid=206602832878013934647.00049a583fe037d 1e373d
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Too difficult not to judge.
For everyone that has a point please make it. If you're just online to pick wholes in someone else then keep it to yourself. Bravo to those that have used their names while posting, it gives your posts a whole load more weight as we know that you will stand by your arguments. I am one of the people that was threatened with never finding work again if I am caught posting online, and call me naive if you like, that sort of thing does worry me. It makes me wonder though if only those posting things deemed negative will be caught and punished by the supposed 'cyber-investigators'.
I ask only that people don't forget that there are more people out there than those posting on this forum that are still owed money. That's not something to laugh about. I won't be attending the protest, but perhaps you should consider that it's not a joke for the people that couldn't afford christmas and are right now stressed about there being no way to legally claim the wages they are owed when the company that employed them has been liquidated to get rid of any liability.
What have you got to say about that? Stick to the issues. Why has that section of the company been liquidated?
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BEES OUT OF ACTION
Take a look at this www.beesinaction.com
The only bee in action is the one thats about to sting the cunt Morris. Lets hope he doesn't have an anaphylactic shock.
The funny thing is that his business cannot even afford to buy the domain and has had to get Mark Harrison to buy it in his name. Hysterical because its only about £10.00. Check this for the proof - http://whois.domaintools.com/beesinaction.com
Morris is now officially the laughing stock of Leeds and Harrogate so much so that Techdirt is now one of the most popular visited sites in Yorkshire. Oh how lovely it is to see Saddam Morris fall.
He has also tried to deluge the internet with this BEES shite so things like techdirt become unnoticeable.
I know there is now a large following reading this so please believe me when I tell you that it will not be long before the true extent of Morris's financial disabilities become public due to bankruptcy.
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Re: Too difficult not to judge.
I have openly said I'm annoyed about not having been paid my full wages for October and that I don't think it's particularly fair that people haven't been paid for time they worked last year. I'm not glossing over any of it. I know for a fact though that Mr Morris isn't happy with the situation either and hence why I feel comfortable to say those things. It's no secret that every person in this office regrets the situation at the moment, Jeffrey Morris included.
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Judge this again?
> people out there than those posting on this forum that are
> still owed money. That's not something to laugh about.
No-one is laughing at anyone being owed money. Allow me to re-iterate *again* that no-one remaining with the company is happy about staff (former and ex) being owed. Can we please get over this?
What we *are* having a moment of gentle play with, is this kind of bullshit:
"Ex Employee" said on Jan 14th (apparently whilst having some difficulty with his keyboard): "LETS NOT LET ANY OF THIS DEFLECT FROM THE PROPOSED DEMO WE WILL BE HAVING AT IMJACK OFFICES ON 21st JANUARY. THANK YOU TO ALL THOSE INTENDING TO ATTEND AND FOR ALL THOSE OF YOU ARE UNSURE - YOUR ATTENDANCE WILL MAKE A HUGE DIFFERENCE. THE TIME OF THE DEMO IS TO BE CONFIRMED."
"The Informer" said on Jan 19th: "Having sought legal advice could I please recommend that anyone with any current or impending legal cases against either IMjack or Jeffery Low Life Morris MUST NOT attend any demonstration and must not be in a position where they are physically close to any directors of the business."
Bearing in mind that "Ex-Employee" has also said "I speak for myself but am in contact either directly or indirectly with everyone (bar 2) of the people morris has sacked without pay since October." (a statement, BTW, which we know to be complete and utter bollocks, since none of the developers who left are aware of any communication).
Presumably "Ex-Employee" and "The Informer" are therefore in communication, but perhaps "Ex-Employee" forgot to notify "The Informer" of the protest and subsequent due diligence showed up this vital "legal advice"? Phew; that's lucky.
Actually, no hang on just one moment. "Legal advice", huh? I took the time last night to chat with a good friend of mine, who is a lawyer. He told me that there is no reason whatsoever why someone involved in an Employee Tribunal/Dispute case shouldn't be involved in a protest against the employer in the meantime, unless of course they set about someone with a baseball bat, which, of course, is really another issue.
Translation - the "legal advice" story is horseshit.
Conclusion - there was never going to be a protest. The statement was one made for effect only, presumably to continue to paint JM as the nastiest person in Yorkshire, nay the North, nay the World, since Nasty McNasty graduated with a double first from Nasty University ?
Get your facts straight; get your plans in order and you will have our respect. Post something that is plainly bullshit or contradicated by you elsewhere in the forum and expect to be ridiculed. Voila, the google protest map.
Prove us wrong; it's still early in the day, I'm sure you can get here for mid-afternoon.
Just watch out for the Daleks.
Zorro
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Any answers yet?
"Point us in the direction of any other source of information about JM or the company substantiating or backing up the allegations made here. This source must not be associated with this article or made/created by those also posting here."
Zorro
-- just curious.
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Re: Any answers yet?
I cannot answer your question. I should add that the majority will be in a similar situation to myself. Perhaps if you direct your question to specific people, or in response to a specific post you will have more luck than just throwing it out in a manner which suggests that it may be rhetorical.
Both "sides" (a term which I am uncomfortable with but one which most accurately sums up the way in which certain posters have formed distinct opposition parties) are guilty of providing 'information' which cannot then be backed up. Whether that be that Morris is involved in some other illegal activity, or that he intends to pay those that have been laid off.
There have been a few people putting forward examples of how JM has been good to them, despite not being a family member or friend, but then all that leads to is others asking, why has he not done that for me? Other than these random acts of generosity what evidence do you have to back up your claims that he intends to pay everyone? Whilst with the company I once asked Jeffrey if he intended to pay the staff that had left or even to contact them. That was a Monday. He promised that on the Thursday of that week, following a meeting, a letter would be sent out to all ex-employees detailing the situation. That never happened. In fact over a month later the only correspondence these people had received was a false pay slip and a P45.
Not long after I disclosed that I was still friends with some of those that were sacked my emails, and two other girls', were being read. I am not alluding to any definite conclusion here, but merely highlighting that the office policy strongly discourages open and free discussion with people that have been sacked. A policy of secrecy is not usually a sign of an all round good egg.
If someone in particular says something stupid, then by all means ridicule that person. Try not to post anything derogatory which generalises and encourages the great divide. I agree that posting promises of information later to be disclosed is pointless. I also agree that stupid maps do not add anything to what should be a rounded and reasonable discussion on the ethics of a company.
So, here are my specific questions, and I put them to Zorro:
Why has the company chosen to avoid any legal liability to ex-employees if it fully intends to pay their wages anyway?
Why have ex-employees not been contacted to state the intent to pay, also including the amount that they are owed? This would be acceptable even if it could not provide specific time lines.
How do you feel that the threats regarding posting online sit with your idea of IMJack as an ethical and reasonable employer?
Please provide a logical explanation with each response. I would also be extremely grateful if you could at some point let me know who you are in private. Several employees still with IM Jack have my phone number.
Maria
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Re: Any answers yet?
I cannot answer your question. I should add that the majority will be in a similar situation to myself. Perhaps if you direct your question to specific people, or in response to a specific post you will have more luck than just throwing it out in a manner which suggests that it may be rhetorical.
Both "sides" (a term which I am uncomfortable with but one which most accurately sums up the way in which certain posters have formed distinct opposition parties) are guilty of providing 'information' which cannot then be backed up. Whether that be that Morris is involved in some other illegal activity, or that he intends to pay those that have been laid off.
There have been a few people putting forward examples of how JM has been good to them, despite not being a family member or friend, but then all that leads to is others asking, why has he not done that for me? Other than these random acts of generosity what evidence do you have to back up your claims that he intends to pay everyone? Whilst with the company I once asked Jeffrey if he intended to pay the staff that had left or even to contact them. That was a Monday. He promised that on the Thursday of that week, following a meeting, a letter would be sent out to all ex-employees detailing the situation. That never happened. In fact over a month later the only correspondence these people had received was a false pay slip and a P45.
Not long after I disclosed that I was still friends with some of those that were sacked my emails, and two other girls', were being read. I am not alluding to any definite conclusion here, but merely highlighting that the office policy strongly discourages open and free discussion with people that have been sacked. A policy of secrecy is not usually a sign of an all round good egg.
If someone in particular says something stupid, then by all means ridicule that person. Try not to post anything derogatory which generalises and encourages the great divide. I agree that posting promises of information later to be disclosed is pointless. I also agree that stupid maps do not add anything to what should be a rounded and reasonable discussion on the ethics of a company.
So, here are my specific questions, and I put them to Zorro:
Why has the company chosen to avoid any legal liability to ex-employees if it fully intends to pay their wages anyway?
Why have ex-employees not been contacted to state the intent to pay, also including the amount that they are owed? This would be acceptable even if it could not provide specific time lines.
How do you feel that the threats regarding posting online sit with your idea of IMJack as an ethical and reasonable employer?
Please provide a logical explanation with each response. I would also be extremely grateful if you could at some point let me know who you are in private. Several employees still with IM Jack have my phone number.
Maria
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And I can assure you he still has many assets and will one day become a billionaire !!!
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Re: Re: Any answers yet?
> Why has the company chosen to avoid any legal liability
> to ex-employees if it fully intends to pay their wages
> anyway?
I am not a director of the company and so I cannot present an official answer to this.
The avoidence of legal liability you refer to is, I presume, that the company has suspended its shares and attempted a CVA with creditors? If that is the case, the suspension is a legal act that the company was not able to avoid (imposed by the Stock Exchange) - having no cash - and the CVA is an attempt to resolve the situation, meaning that all creditors, including ex-employees, get paid.
I understand that the CVA allows the company to continue to trade and pay current staff in the meantime. This is cold comfort I know, but without this action, the company would have just folded and there would be no chance of anyone getting any money. (unless you believe the comments about fraudulent activity, which I don't know anything about, but that I am certain would be hard to prove, take for ever to resolve and in any case would result in no money for the likes of you and me...so they are not really relevant to us).
> Why have ex-employees not been contacted to state the
> intent to pay, also including the amount that they are
> owed? This would be acceptable even if it could not
> provide specific time lines.
I am not a director of the company and so I cannot present an official answer to this.
Speaking personally, I agree completely with you that such a communication would be more than appropriate and the morally correct path to take. Were I in charge, this would have been the first thing I did.
TBH, I understood that the letter sent out just before Xmas was supposed to cover these matters, although what I have read here indicates that maybe this was not the case, which I find most disappointing.
> How do you feel that the threats regarding posting online
> sit with your idea of IMJack as an ethical and reasonable
> employer?
Could you please explain the nature of these threats, as I am not aware of any posted by IMJ, JM or those purporting to represent him on this forum. I am aware of the legal letter sent to techdirt, which, for the record is horseshit and something I most strongly advised against knowing exactly how that would go down with techdirt. Alas, we cannot always expect that anyone will listen to sound advice.
However, I don't think you mean the legal letter.
If you are referring to any verbal comments made to you, I am not aware of those.
I would like to add that the reason myself and some of my colleagues became involved with this forum was because we became completely fed up with the hateful, unpleasant posting taking place, attempting to take down the company we still rely on for paying *our* mortgages, food and christmas presents.
We wanted to add some balance and take those with hate in their hearts to task. Along the way, we may have sometimes been too playful with our comments (and maps), not intending to wound, but instead to draw attention to ridiculous-ness of some of the things said on the other "side". However, we are geeks and freaks; this is how we are in person and how we are online and we make no apology for this.
Maria, I do not believe that especially you nor to a lesser extent those let go at the same time as you deserved to go.
Some others who post here, I do not offer the same empathy for - you who were hangers-on, wasters of time and vampires. You should be paid for the time you gave, useless as it was, but you deserve bad karma and I trust you will find it.
Zorro
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Still curious
"Point us in the direction of any other source of information about JM or the company substantiating or backing up the allegations made here. This source must not be associated with this article or made/created by those also posting here."
Zorro
-- still curious.
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Re: Still curious
Incidentally, which particular accusations are you struggling with? I am sure we will do what we can to assist you in justifying them.
Anyway as you well know it is usually down to an individual to make their own mind up and I think it is fair to say that in this case they have and it dont look too favourable for Mr Morris.
Dont try and protect such a failure - he has wronged everyone and is a complete failiure. Roll-on April 30th (or before).
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Thanks
"As from the 1st January 2011 the Company's employees along with their employment liabilities will be transferred to a new company owned by the Morris family ("Newco")."
I am under the impression that this would allow for the company I was employed by, which I believe was called Amteus, to be ignored and never receive a share of profits gained in any recovery made by the business as a whole. Whilst Newco may become very successful, Amteus can still go in to liquidation should that be the chosen course of action. All of the current employees have been moved across to Newco, however I have received no indication that any ex-employees are in the same boat.
If you have any information which would suggest the above is incorrect then I would be very pleased to hear it. I wish to assert again that neither myself, nor quite a few others that I am in contact with, have any desire for the company to go bust. We are merely concerned with being fairly treated, and would love to see some transparency.
The threats I was speaking of were verbal, and particularly harsh as they were administered during our dismissal. We had previously had our work emails monitored, which is not in itself the worst scenario ever, but the ridiculous suggestion that 'cyber-investigators' could not only discern our identities but then also Jeffrey could spread the word around his business associates and ensure that finding employment would be difficult for us. Fortunately my decision to share my name made scrambling my IP address unnecessary. Phew!
I hold absolutely no grudge at all against any of the employees that have no influence over policy. In fact mostly I am just a little sad that I didn't get to know a lot of the people better.
Anyway with all this talk of karma and general internet banter I'm off to take out my frustration on reddit.
Maria.
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Well done Maria
The reality is that whilst most people like you and others have documented actual experiences any doubter could reply with a "prove-it" remark in order to discredit your integrity.
You are right in saying that no one wanted to see this business fail, in fact all we ever wanted is to be paid and that would have been closure. Unfortunately Mr Morris, yet again, thought he is brightest businessman in existence and instead of doing the right thing and concentrating on his business he has put all his time and energy into screwing us and limiting our recourse. What his bright little brain failed to notify him of is that in screwing us he has actually screwed himself and comes out of this little episode worse than anyone.
In direct response to him speaking to "his business associates to ensure you find employment difficult" (let me just calm down from this fit of hysteria) he simply doesn't have any. He used to have a reasonable network but be assured that he is now known in those circles as a waste of space, a fraud and a failure. Those type of threats are bullyish, pathetic and more importantly, meaningless. Lets face it I have heard he is embarrassed to walk into Harvey Nichols in Leeds.
One thing no one should underestimate is the power of this thread. This thread had enough collateral for damage when it had only 80 posts which is when Mr Morris stupidly attempted to get the site closed down. His action served only as a publicity tool to highlight the thread to a far broader audience.
Mr Morris is now being spoken about on many forums and we are certain that karma will certainly occur in this situation on or prior to 30/04/2011.
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Addelstone & Morris make utter c***s of themselves
http://www.slyck.com/news.php?story=2034
This is what you are up against if you sue Morris - an incompetent lawyer who doesn't keep updated with the law.
Amazing how Addelstone is prostituting himself to Morris to the detriment of his own career and more importantly reputation. Everyone in Leeds saying how they will NEVER use Addelstone again.
As long as you keep getting your £1500 per week and you can thank Bradley Jacobs for telling us that last week ;-)
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Astounded
I can only talk from my perspective offering some insight into both the environment when I was there and things I personally heard (words spoken by him or his inner circle). Things I know to be true:
1. Jeffrey paid high achieving staff incredibly well (however, unscrupuloous as he was, he didnt care that the products seriously underachieved on their promises and had contracts incorporating 'cast-iron' clauses tantamount to unfair trading). Lets face it though, he's not on his own here and in truth came across as a business savvy yet ruthless individual.
2. The products were always technology based and ground-breaking at the time. Everyone associated with them were often in awe of their potential and every client we pitched to, particularly early on, was impressed by the overall presentation/packaging. I, however, could name at least 15 people that, whilst they loved to sell this product, knew that they were cheating people and jeffrey did not care an iota. Again, bad practise, but not criminal.
3.He did enforce Sunday meetings
Ok, thats the positive bits covered. Now without being emotional, here are the other things I know to be true:
1. Jeffrey has little or no respect for his workforce and running an ethical, well structured, intelligent infrastructure never happened whilst I was there (I worked for him for many years)
2.I saw many talented, dynamic individuals join his company only to leave within days wondering what in the hell they had come into. These individuals having gone on to very successful careers in other technology businesses where they experience the best training, support and work in safe and ethical environments.
3. By the same token, I saw many individuals careers wain because they remained at the company and some are in such serious financial difficulty now (caused by Jeffrey not paying their salaries) that it will take them years to recover.
4. On a slightly more serious note (and take this as you will as often these comments were made in jest but still made everyone uncomfortable), I was present, as many others were, when comments were made both by Jeffrey and his senior management to not sell to the Asian community (theyre liars and they dont pay apparently). Those of you reading this and have worked for him KNOW this to be true.
5. He laid off/sacked staff knowing full well that he wasnt going to pay them and then sent out payslips without actually paying people: pre-meditated and still happening if I'm to believe the comments above. That's an opinion by the way so, of course, I cant prove the whole thing was planned but even the more sensible of those commenting above know that the whole thing stinks.
Finally, I personally know and am still in contact with at least 15 people that would, if it really meant that Jeffrey would be stopped in his tracks, put pen to paper and corroborate all of the above (all of which have worked for Jeffrey in the last ten years). It'll never be necessary and they just cant be bothered (in fact 3 of them are asking me why I'm even bothering writing this). There seems to be a handful of people above (Maria, ex-employee, Zorro, Garry, etc) that have great arguments and opinions: all heartfelt and all ring true to me. Maria in particular I feel for in that she seems like a professional and honest girl.
Well, for all you "Marias' still working for or planning to work for Wamey or Jeffrey in any capacity, heres' the truth:
1. You'll NEVER get real training
2. You'll never feel secure in your job
3. You may never receive a salary
4. You may be insulted by your boss at every turn and threatened with the sack week on week
5. You may even be unlucky enough to be on the receiving end of racial slurs
I wish Jeffrey no harm by any of this as he is who he is and he's been very successful but the facts can't be denied can they?
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Morris is a liar
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Only 15 who will vouch that Morris is a fraud?
Only 15? I feel confident I could more than double that although I would cheat as mine would include 2 or 3 who are still there ;-)
I also agree that the family comments are uncalled for nor did I ever hear him urge caution when dealing with Asians.
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Re: Morris is a liar
What a joke. Its the 5th time he has tried this email spamming lark, that has cost creditors millions. We must not allow it to happen again. It is not fair on the suppliers of goods/services or staff that he recruits. Please keep posting about this website so it appears on the front page of google. We have a civic duty to inform all that may be stung by Morris. This man Morris has no morals whatsoever. He will lie and deceive, just as long he can keep his lifestyle going, and he must not be allowed to prey on unassuming parents/pupils and teachers.
REMEMBER THE SITE: www.BEESINACTION.COM
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@ex-employee
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Please don't tell untruths; it's not nice
> Only 15? I feel confident I could more than double that
> although I would cheat as mine would include 2 or 3 who
> are still there ;-)
In which case why did you take 3 weeks to become aware of BEES when the entire time the whole office was aware and working on it?
Pretty please, don't make stuff up, it's not nice.
Directed at others -
For the record, BEES is a genuine offering that could make a real difference to schools - regardless of what you think of the original product and JM. If we don't do it, someone else will. Of course, if your one objective is to cause the company to fail and the nearly 30 remaining staff to lose their sole source of income, then please carry on and share your abject misery and hate with the world.
Zorro
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Paging would be nice
Any chance of adding paging?
Zorro
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BEES
Looks like you are getting desperate.
"In which case why did you take 3 weeks to become aware of BEES when the entire time the whole office was aware and working on it?"
Not worth answering!!
"For the record, BEES is a genuine offering that could make a real difference to schools - regardless of what you think of the original product and JM"
Is it more genuine than taking £250 off a business by way of telling them they were sponsoring a local school when there wasnt a local school that had signed up to the system?
Do you honestly believe that anyone will think that that crook Morris has all of a sudden gone straight.
His life is in turmoil not to mention his financial situation.
And finally..........This BEES shite is the most ridiculous scheme I have ever known, even worse than Morris's previous failures, and if you honestly think that the 30 people will still be in jobs by April 30th then think again - THEY WONT.
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Morris the Con Man
Why dont you think about the 40 employees that worked for up to a month and then got sacked without pay instead of worrying about yourself.
There are only three people in that business worth their salt and you are not one of them. Those three will get a job anywhere in far better conditions than they are working under in that shit tip. Suffice to say you are not one of the 3.
That BEES con will soon, along with Morris the Failure, be brought to its knees.
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Re: Only 15?
Good lord, that is impressive. Would that be using some sort of pump? Or a magic pill? It must make walking around pretty difficult. Do you have to wrap it around your ankle to avoid tripping over it?
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Re: Morris the Con Man
Nevermind that the work that is being done by those left at the company is likely to help those that are no longer employed in getting back what they are owed.
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Re: BEES
That's a euphemism for "I have no answer to that" I've never heard before.
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Morris is a first class low life lump of scum and these fools (Zorro and Pseudonym) are being pampered by him, no doubt being offered hundreds of millions of share options and they feel wanted. Evidently they would struggle to gain alternative employment so they have little choice. Funny thing being that they have still not received half of Octobers wage.
The fact is that everybody reading these forums, of which there are hundreds, especially amongst ethnic communities in Leeds, Manchester and London, not to mention a few people in high places - they are all having a good old laugh at these posts. The more you post the more they laugh. No one reading this blog thinks Morris is an upstanding member of the community - more a filthy dirty low life crook. And not a clever one.
i urge anyone in his company to follow the example of Sky Sports and go public if he makes any inappropriate sexist, sexual or racist comments as you could sue him for fortunes and we strongly recommend you report it.
Keep the posts coming - get us higher in the rankings.
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THE BIGGEST JOKE YET!!!
IMJack is rebranding to BEES In Action.
All the features and how you access the site will remain the same. What you will see over the coming weeks is a gradual rebranding starting with my email address which will change to [email protected] .This will be followed by a change to the graphic User Interface (GUI) of IMJack to BEES with the final stage being the rebranding of all support material and documentation.
Our support phone line remains unchanged 0870 836 8702
You now also have, upon request, access to the BEES fundraising Initiative for free
BEES stands for Business for Education Email Scheme and is a great new way for schools to raise much need funds.
LOOKS LIKE HE REALLY WANTS TO PAY ALL THE PEOPLE HE HAS STOLEN FROM. MIGRATING TO ANOTHER BUSINESS AND REBRANDING HIGHLIGHT HIS INTENTIONS.
NOW FOR THE REAL JOKE. THIS LETTER IS HAVING THE PISS RIPPED OUT OF IT ONLINE. I THINK WE HAVE DONE OUR JOB.
THANKS FOR THE LETTER .......... DONT WORRY, I WILL NEVER REVEAL YOUR IDENTY.
ANYWAY THIS IS THE LETTER THAT HAS BEEN CIRCULATING:
How BEES works:
• Parents receive an email or letter from your school inviting them to join the BEES fundraising mailing list
• BEES venture out and gather exclusive offers from businesses
• BEES deliver offer emails to the parents on behalf of your school
• Your school receives a pot of money for every offer sent to your parents
• No administration need from your school
The Benefits:
• Parents save money on exclusive local and national deals
• Your school raises thousands of pounds in funds every year
The Potential
A typical school with 2000 subscribed contacts (parents/guardians family and friends) should raise £9,600 per year of additional funding by sending one voucher offer per week.
We intend to dispatch one offer per day. We will never send parents more than one offer per day.
The more people associated with your school the more money you will generate. Family and friends of the parents/guardians can also join to receive the vouchers increasing your potential earnings.
I have attached a presentation of how BEES in action works, please feel free to contact me if you have any questions and wish to proceed. Kindly forward the email to other relevant members of staff.
Kind Regards
Adam Gould
BEES: Businesses for Education Email Scheme (21)
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HAVE A LAUGH AT THIS
NOW FOR THE REAL JOKE. THIS LETTER IS HAVING THE PISS RIPPED OUT OF IT ONLINE. I THINK WE HAVE DONE OUR JOB.
THANKS FOR THE LETTER .......... DONT WORRY, I WILL NEVER REVEAL YOUR IDENTY.
ANYWAY THIS IS THE LETTER THAT HAS BEEN CIRCULATING:
Great News!
IMJack is rebranding to BEES In Action.
All the features and how you access the site will remain the same. What you will see over the coming weeks is a gradual rebranding starting with my email address which will change to [email protected] .This will be followed by a change to the graphic User Interface (GUI) of IMJack to BEES with the final stage being the rebranding of all support material and documentation.
Our support phone line remains unchanged 0870 836 8702
You now also have, upon request, access to the BEES fundraising Initiative for free
BEES stands for Business for Education Email Scheme and is a great new way for schools to raise much need funds.
How BEES works:
• Parents receive an email or letter from your school inviting them to join the BEES fundraising mailing list
• BEES venture out and gather exclusive offers from businesses
• BEES deliver offer emails to the parents on behalf of your school
• Your school receives a pot of money for every offer sent to your parents
• No administration need from your school
The Benefits:
• Parents save money on exclusive local and national deals
• Your school raises thousands of pounds in funds every year
The Potential
A typical school with 2000 subscribed contacts (parents/guardians family and friends) should raise £9,600 per year of additional funding by sending one voucher offer per week.
We intend to dispatch one offer per day. We will never send parents more than one offer per day.
The more people associated with your school the more money you will generate. Family and friends of the parents/guardians can also join to receive the vouchers increasing your potential earnings.
I have attached a presentation of how BEES in action works, please feel free to contact me if you have any questions and wish to proceed. Kindly forward the email to other relevant members of staff.
Kind Regards
Adam Gould
BEES: Businesses for Education Email Scheme (21)
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Thanks for cheering me up - Rebranding My Arse
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Zorro - your insight is required
Where exactly is the money to pay the wages of 30 staff going to come from ?
Simple question. I want you to answer it.
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Re: Pampering
Yeah, he pampers us so hard sometimes I can barely walk.
I think we'd stand a better chance than someone with a history of threatening past employers
And make sure all the supposed remarks are completely unsubstantiated - but call anyone who questions you a naive idiot.
Or better yet, organise a protest.
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Re: your insight is required
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Re:
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Re:
Ah, another threat that probably won't be followed through. See you in a few months when you or one of your associates calls me a "idiot" for asking where the findings you'd promised are.
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Gentlemen, please
I see that we have decended once again into tomfoolery and nonsense.
"The enforcer", "Ex Employee",
May I say how pleased I am that you fine gentles are able to find time to share your considered and thoughtful comments whilst still holding down your high-pressured jobs, which you have doubtless acquired since leaving IM - it having been nigh on 3-months now.
Surely you have new jobs? After all you have placed yourselves as fit to pass judgement on the career prospects of others and presumably you are therefore better (and thus more employable)?
Us pitiful few who remain are working as busy bees (pun intended) to make a success of this, which allows IM to be properly funded, which allows you (who have not been paid) to be paid.
Our risk is that we may not get paid from month-to-month. We acknowledge and accept this, even as we don't want it to happen, because otherwise we would be here no more.
Why would you want to stop us in our endevours - we are trying to help ourselves and you at the same time. Whatever you think of JM, bringing down this company will only hurt us and you.
Why the hate? Why the aggression? Surely, only for revenge?
Zorro
-- the blackness in the hearts of men
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Identity
"THANKS FOR THE LETTER .......... DONT WORRY, I WILL NEVER REVEAL YOUR IDENTY."
What you mean "lmiddleton25"? On a post elsewhere that incidentally has now been taken down, because, let's face it, not everyone is *that* interested in your one-man crusade of hatred.
Thanks though for passing the news along, much appreciated.
Zorro
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Re: Identity
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MORRIS THE FAILURE
I bet you are sorry you didn't take the job at Orange now instead of being further romanced by Morris the failure. Didn't you realise he was a failure then?
It is as a result of the behaviour of types like you, stealing from the business by writing posts on here instead of working, that the business found itself in this position in the first instance.
Oh its my pleasure to pass the news on and what rubbish are you talking about lmiddleton25 - dont try and deflect from the truth.
As for my personal situation I actually have no job. I am working for myself, under my own rules and earning more than I have done for the past few years. So you were wrong on that account.
LETS ALL LAUGH AT THIS AGAIN:
Great News!
IMJack is rebranding to BEES In Action.
All the features and how you access the site will remain the same. What you will see over the coming weeks is a gradual rebranding starting with my email address which will change to [email protected] .This will be followed by a change to the graphic User Interface (GUI) of IMJack to BEES with the final stage being the rebranding of all support material and documentation.
Our support phone line remains unchanged 0870 836 8702
You now also have, upon request, access to the BEES fundraising Initiative for free
BEES stands for Business for Education Email Scheme and is a great new way for schools to raise much need funds.
How BEES works:
• Parents receive an email or letter from your school inviting them to join the BEES fundraising mailing list
• BEES venture out and gather exclusive offers from businesses
• BEES deliver offer emails to the parents on behalf of your school
• Your school receives a pot of money for every offer sent to your parents
• No administration need from your school
The Benefits:
• Parents save money on exclusive local and national deals
• Your school raises thousands of pounds in funds every year
The Potential
A typical school with 2000 subscribed contacts (parents/guardians family and friends) should raise £9,600 per year of additional funding by sending one voucher offer per week.
We intend to dispatch one offer per day. We will never send parents more than one offer per day.
The more people associated with your school the more money you will generate. Family and friends of the parents/guardians can also join to receive the vouchers increasing your potential earnings.
I have attached a presentation of how BEES in action works, please feel free to contact me if you have any questions and wish to proceed. Kindly forward the email to other relevant members of staff.
Kind Regards
Adam Gould
BEES: Businesses for Education Email Scheme (21)
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Re: MORRIS THE FAILURE
Oh really? I rather imagine that, for you, business hasn't been and there hasn't been any business. But at least you've got your crusade to keep you entertained.
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Orange, peach, frog, what's the difference?
> I bet you are sorry you didn't take the job at Orange now
> instead of being further romanced by Morris the failure.
> Didn't you realise he was a failure then?
I'm afraid you have me at an advantage. Could you clarify what you mean by "Orange"?
> Oh its my pleasure to pass the news on...
Much appreciated. As of midnight last night, the BIA link on this site has been responsible for 68 visits to the BIA web site, 4 new subscribers for vouchers and 1 contact from a business interested in sending vouchers to our database. Rather more successful than your previous career at IM, I'd warrant. Perhaps you should apply for affiliate status? I'll post a screen shot of the Google Analytics if you want...?
> ...what rubbish are you talking about lmiddleton25 -
> dont try and deflect from the truth.
Yes, my apologies. It's imeddleton25. My spelling mistake. If you don't recall, why not take a look at the 4 identical tedious forums you started on edugeek. Oh wait, no you can't because they have been shut down, because - as I mentioned before - "not everyone is *that* interested in your one-man crusade of hatred."
> As for my personal situation I actually have no
> job.....So you were wrong on that account.
Actually....I was correct. Sorry.
> I am working for myself, under my own rules and earning
> more than I have done for the past few years.
Well, I'm sure you have learnt from your mistakes and can repeat them all perfectly.
> LETS ALL LAUGH AT THIS AGAIN:
Once again, thanks for spreading the news & for the traffic.
All the very best with your new venture.
Zorro
-- friend of small business.
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Big Society?
I wonder if you might be able to clear a few things up. Firstly can I just say that I think the BEES in action scheme is a great idea. I believe it may be a little too late, but it definitely has the potential to be a great success.
I am just wondering what has happened to those schools on the previous deals? Particularly those schools which were promised a full refund of their £2,400 SLA fee, but also those schools which signed up under the "Big Society" project. As there are no longer any staff chasing sponsorship from local businesses will all of the schools automatically become part of the new BEES in action scheme? If they wish to remain with the deal which they signed up to will that contract be honoured?
I must say that whilst with the company I was extremely concerned that these 'guarantees' we were making to schools seemed unfeasible given the fact that company could not even afford keep it's staff. I was under the impression, and this was merely an educated guess, that the company was asking for the money up front from schools with the promise of a refund in order to create the illusion of a healthier balance sheet to inflate share prices in an effort to gain the backing of the SSAT.
From my view point, given the subsequent events, I simply cannot see how IM Jack can possibly hope to honour these agreements. In fact during my time there as an employee I was painfully aware that the company appeared to be gambling with tax-payer money on a bet with terrible odds. I am not saying that my perception is accurate, I can only state my opinion, albeit one based on educated reasoning.
I apologise for this turning in to yet another mini-essay, but, to summarise, my questions are these:
Will Im Jack honour the contracts already signed and paid for Secondary schools across the country?
How concrete are these new promises from the company? I realise that schools have nothing to lose in the new BEES scheme, but will businesses receive any guarantees on the numbers of legitimate email addresses they will have their vouchers mailed out to?
I suppose I am also a little curious that if the original contracts with schools cannot be honoured will they be treated with the same deafening silence as ex-employess?
Maria.
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Zorro
There is no-one but you and Morris that is reading it for any other reason than to laugh at the sensational demise and failings of the low life. For that reason any attempts to belittle me or any other honest and accurate posts on this thread are at best, futile, but most certainly do add to the entertainment.
If you honestly think that people are reading this site then subscribing in some way to the Bees In Action site then I suggest you seek medical assistance. It is seriously worrying that you have been brainwashed to a concerning degree.
Let me guess have some people read the posts and due to Jeffrey Morris' dire financial situation offered to lend him money you misfit.
I think we can safely say that you have done a great job in discrediting yourself so I will not continue but by all means, dont stop - it is entertaining.
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Re: Big Society?
Nice to hear from you again amongst the self-perpetuating hatred from "Ex Employee" and "The informer" (who can't even spell, let alone make sense).
I hope that you've managed to get another job and that things are going well for you.
We all appreciate your comments and thoughts, a couple are very pertinent and accurate, but let me answer your questions.
> Will Im Jack honour the contracts already signed and paid
> for Secondary schools across the country?
AFAIK that is the whole point of BEES; to allow the company to continue to trade, honoring all contract past and present, including ex-employees. It is certainly a matter of fact that if IM/BEES doesn't make it through then the contracts can't be honored as there will be no entity to honor them. Another thing that EE/ti seem to have forgotten in their lust for revenge.
> How concrete are these new promises from the company? I
> realise that schools have nothing to lose in the new BEES
> scheme, but will businesses receive any guarantees on the
> numbers of legitimate email addresses they will have
> their vouchers mailed out to?
It is quite clear that schools cannot lose out. As far as businesses are concerned; the development team have made sure that built into the product is an accurate report of the number of email addresses that a voucher is mailed to, along with bounce rates, delivery rates and voucher downloads - in order to avoid the shenanigans that I understand may have taken place in the past.
> I suppose I am also a little curious that if the original
> contracts with schools cannot be honoured will they be
> treated with the same deafening silence as ex-employess?
I would hope that this isn't the case and if I have any power over it all, personally, then it won't be.
I wish I could guarantee all of this, however I cannot. What I guarantee is that I will do everything I can to turn this company into a genuine company that behaves honorably.
EE/ti - before you get on your high horse talking about me being bought our with shares and promises, or possibly the old chestnut of being "naive", let me share this with the forum.
1. I know that both of you received their share options, took 'em and signed up for them; at the same time that you claim - on this forum - that JM was willfully employing people knowing he couldn't pay them. Are you ashamed? Do your "30" contacts know about this?
2. I have *never* bought into the wild promises sold to me by JM. Clearly you did. Perhaps I am just more cynical than you, or perhaps more realistic.
3. I know what I am involved with as does everyone else remaining here. My - *our* - sole interest is in making sure that *all* the existing staff get paid month-by-month and that we grow our business, allowing us to pay ex-staff, honor contracts and behave honorably moving forward. If I though that was not possible, even now, I would walk away and move on with my life. Why do you hate us all for that effort? Please explain?
Zorro
-- all the best
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Re:
> all those schools that are listed on the site that have
> been contacted today.
I did say that the figure was up to midnight today (i.e 23:59) on the 26th. Perhaps might be worth reading the post before ejecting more drivel?
> None of them have given their permission for beesinaction
> to place their names on the BEESINACTION website. Are you
> aware of that?
You don't need permission to create a list of schools. It's public information. Are you aware of that?
> As said previously, we will not rest until Morris has
> been exposed for what he is!!
So, nothing to do with getting all ex employees paid then, despite what was said earlier? Very comforting for the "30" ex staff relying on you.
Zorro
-- RTFM
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Do you honestly believe Morris will honour his contracts when all through his business career he has never done so. Why do you think he has employed Bradley Jacobs for the past 15 years? It's not been to pay people. You must realise that there is a serious credibility issue here and that's why nobody will transact business with Jeffrey Morris. Furthermore, why on the website does it say 'schools joining this week'? You are claiming that is acceptable, when the schools know nothing about it! Yet again you are demonstrating your ignorance and stupidity. Morris is a desperate man and is being shown up for it, so I understand why he is getting you to write on here, but please don't make a fool of yourself!
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THANKS ZORRO FOR ENDORSING OUR ARGUMENT:
You are now becoming tenuous in your posts in as much as ours may be a crusade against a filthy dirty crooked thief but you are trying to legitimise this thief in the most pathetic manner.
Lets take this line - "I wish I could guarantee all of this, however I cannot. What I guarantee is that I will do everything I can to turn this company into a genuine company that behaves honourably."
Of course you cannot nor wont guarantee it because BEES is inherently flawed due to the fact it is the worst business idea I have seen in many a year and because the company needs to find a profit of at least £500,000.00 by 30th April or else it will be liquidated under the terms of the CVA.
What is more concerning about your comment is this: QUOTE ZORRO:
I will do everything I can to turn this company into a genuine company that behaves honourably
I repeat!
I will do everything I can to turn this company into a genuine company that behaves honourably
DO I REALLY NEED TO EXPLAIN THIS OR IS IT AN INDICATION AND ACCEPTANCE OF THE EMBEDDED KNOWLEDGE OF EVEN THOSE ATTEMPTING TO DEFEND THE CROOK KNOW THAT HE HAS PREVIOUSLY BEEN RUNNING NON-GENUINE BUSINESSES WHO BEHAVE DISHONOURABLY.
Finally may i suggest you post in your own time rather than defraud shareholders by wasting company time, for which you are allegedly being paid, by posting on here during working hours.
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Well done!
"I will do everything I can to turn this company into a genuine company that behaves honourably"
I am on record - on this forum - as saying that I am unhappy that ex staff are unpaid and that there is no communication with them. That is not a very honourable action. I don't hide it and I've never said anything else.
So, once again, well done, you've "outed" me for saying something that I've said before.
Perhaps you can add this to your file of "evidence" against JM; no doubt the "authorities" will give it the same credence as the rest of the soiled tissue paper you no doubt already have within the file.
Zorro
-- good weekend
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Zorro is Morris - Morris is a sick failure
You typed this, not me:
"I will do everything I can to turn this company into a genuine company that behaves honourably". Which company are you referring to?
So Imjack Secure has appointed liquidators and you are trying to convince everyone on here (WHO WAS SACKED WITHOUT PAY) that if the business does well they will all get paid - You sick c**t!!! Why dont you stop providing vulnerable, hard-up people with false hope.
Lets face it bro, everyone knows what a sad skint failure Morris is and the more you contribute to this forum the more attention you draw to his pathetic state in so much as him having to get someone to defend his evil acts on here. the mere fact he has got someone to defend him on here is tantamount to his current status.
Keep posting u freak, its entertaining for everyone, including me.
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Pay slip
I am owed exactly £1,379.65. I believe the majority of people reading this thread are doing so to keep informed. In the interest of transparency I would love to see a breakdown of the amounts that the company owes on here, alongside a realistic projection of income over the coming months with details of the rate at which the company intends to repay it's debts/invest in further growth.
If I was holding the purse strings for a secondary school, absolute transparency would be required to gain my trust. Is this a policy we can reasonably expect to see from the company? And if not then why not?
Maria.
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Transparancy
Jeffrey Morris knows nothing about transparency. Most people reading this thread are people from a community of Morris', or former employees that are genuinely taking great enjoyment from his rapid demise.
I am unsure as to what you are asking here but the reality is that your P45 sounds fraudulent. You will not get paid your £1379.65 as he is liquidating the business to avoid paying you and your former colleagues.
The man is a thief - What dont you get????
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Pay slip
I am owed exactly £1,379.65. I believe the majority of people reading this thread are doing so to keep informed. In the interest of transparency I would love to see a breakdown of the amounts that the company owes on here, alongside a realistic projection of income over the coming months with details of the rate at which the company intends to repay it's debts/invest in further growth.
If I was holding the purse strings for a secondary school, absolute transparency would be required to gain my trust. Is this a policy we can reasonably expect to see from the company? And if not then why not?
Maria.
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Oops
I'm asking if we can have some transparency. I think that's quite a straightforward request. It's followed with a "why not?" to pre-empt the answer I'm expecting.
I'm not sure how you can possibly know the readership of this site. Also as the self-appointed voice for ex-employees I do not recall you ever asking the few I know what exactly they wish to say.
I am attempting to gather as much information as I possibly can before I decide what 'it' is that I'm supposed to 'get'. Perhaps a more factual approach from you would be more helpful for any future customers reading this and trying to make a decision on whether or not to become involved with IM Jack.
My concern is with honesty, transparency and accountability. I want this thread to be high on a google search to spread the facts and keep people informed. If I get paid I will post that information on here too. No agendas, because really, what will that achieve?
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Oops
I'm asking if we can have some transparency. I think that's quite a straightforward request. It's followed with a "why not?" to pre-empt the answer I'm expecting.
I'm not sure how you can possibly know the readership of this site. Also as the self-appointed voice for ex-employees I do not recall you ever asking the few I know what exactly they wish to say.
I am attempting to gather as much information as I possibly can before I decide what 'it' is that I'm supposed to 'get'. Perhaps a more factual approach from you would be more helpful for any future customers reading this and trying to make a decision on whether or not to become involved with IM Jack.
My concern is with honesty, transparency and accountability. I want this thread to be high on a google search to spread the facts and keep people informed. If I get paid I will post that information on here too. No agendas, because really, what will that achieve?
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I think you mis-interpreted my post
We are all frustrated and as a consequence we post on here. Luckily some of us have a more in depth knowledge concerning the dealings of Jeffrey Morris and are using that knowledge to ensure a situation like this does not re-occur.
One thing we must not allow ourselves to do is argue amongst ourselves. if you consider that we were sacked having worked but without being paid, we were then promised the money was forthcoming and then learned that the liquidators had been called in, i unfortunately would say that acts as transparency.
I whole heartedly agree with you that we want this thread and others about Jeffrey Morris to be very high in the search engines and thankfully they are.
Maria, I speak on behalf of the people i engage with. As you well know people are entitled to write whatever they desire on this forum.
I find what Morris has done to be one of the most despicable acts of corporate theft i have come across. i know you want to believe there will be a happy ending, as we do, but reality is there wont be. Imjack Secure Communications LTD, the company we were paid by, will be closed in February by the liquidators and with it will go the money we are owed.
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P45
It will also cost you more money in tax if they say you have earned more than you actually have.
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The facts.
The poduct is good, I was convinced of that when I worked there a couple of years ago with the Good fellow. I was up north with him the other week, he speaks fondley of the good times we had, the deals were there then it went mad, tele sales in charge of reps. Telesales who were just out of nappies, sending us to corner shops, market traders, weirdo's living in huts etc etc.
The Good Fellow went straight into his next work , so did I
most of the above will not have had any form of employment since being given the boot.
It will work, it already is working in other companies so theres the proof.
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Re: The facts.
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BEES IN ACTION
EVERY POST HELPS
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Makes great reading.
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whats going on?
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yoks
fuck you skin cunts you all drive shit cars and live in a shit hole
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Thanks for the last post
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Ref to 459
Just come down from the north, doin deals, collected a top suit, drank exspensive wines put the foot down in my big boys toy. Look listen to this man, Jeffrey is a top guy good product, good intentions, a lot of wanna bees all around him 9 to 5' ers each and every one of them. Just dont get what it takes. 248 Mr lazy ? any wonder? He treated me well, spoke well of all the customers, didn't want to stick it up any one as far as i'm concerned. Payed us fed us fine food, taught the less fortunate ones a few life lessons, I don't think they listened, month after month chasing the shite line. They couldn't make apps couldn't close, shabby shirts, shoes held together by cheap glue. One guy that had been there from the early days couldn't even afford fuel until exspenses day. No body seemed interested in paying jeffrey back for the oppertunity he'd given them, they just wanted to know if he was going to get them an Audi. Day after day of talking shite, no deals, no money in their pockets, not even for a burger. Driving round and round England stopping in hotels all payed for by guess who? shite lines all made up rubbish. Jeffrey wanting to make a real difference to peoples companies, fools driving round on empty, phones switched off at 4 oclock, fish fingers for tea, spam for lunch.
Glory days around the corner on the white knuckel ride!
Good luck to Jeffrey and all the team!
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Good Fellows delusional portrayal
He fed you fine food did he. hmmmmm, did you live with him? Are you his son?
Audi - He cant afford a Golf never mind an Audi.
Jeffrey is the type of guy that is currently providing people with high levels of entertainment, simples.
Have you seen Jeffrey Morris' new Twitter feed, its hysterical. So funny it could be him writing it.
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Not for every one
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Morris the Fuckup
We will get there.
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?
Gonna meet my pal now, some swanky bar no doubt, you know him, his prowling boys toy will be pulling into the car park any moment. People will stare. And why not?
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Patric. Ollie to my pals....
I also agree that there were some lazy guys working at all of his companies but also some gifted ones that needed direction. Even the guys working for him are completely unsure as to whether they will get paid.
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Exxiting Times
------------------------------------------------------------
Lets face facts and drop the bickering. Morris is a desperate little fool. A Buzzing Bee tells me he doing everything in his power to stop the truth being posted on the internet concerning the way he has treated ex-staff, shareholders and people in general. So funny that he can do absolutely nothing about it ;-) Lets face it, even if he could its all factual
Reality is that this creature thought he was untouchable but as the expression "all good things come to an end" so Morris' business career is nearing its final stage. If rumours are true, and I sincerely hope they are, then Morris is staring personal financial ruin in the face. YIPPEE
Morris has done good by very few people and bad by many. All this forum represents is a true reflection of the way he is perceived in the eyes of others.
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Financial ruin
Its a shame he had such clowns working in his inner circle.
Can anyone shed some light on how Jeffrey can close businesses like The Media Buzz, Wamey, Amteus etc whilst owing the majority of the ex employees money and continue to re-brand, start up new companies whilst he refuses to pay the people that worked for him with contracts of employment, in good faith and had no idea of his rules of engagement?
Surely the respective authorities have wind of this? If not, surely they know that Jeffrey leased marketing services knowing full well that he was literally disintegrating the parameters of any such agreement with leasing companies?
Surely in doing this at The Media Buzz and knowing that there were far too many variables to ensure that leasing companies could confidently collect on these The Media Buzz contracts, he was breaking some law? We all know that this was done in the guise of "Software" and we all know that the whole client solution was based on leads/response and not on use of the platform?
Just interested in knowing how he can continue to defraud businesses out of thousands....
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?
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POWER OF THE TRUTH
Anyone who attempts to defend that position is either still employed by him (of which there are very few remaining) or ill-informed.
I URGE EVERYONE WITH A GRIEVANCE AGAINST THIS UNSCRUPULOUS BUSINESSMAN TO POST THEIR EXPERIENCES HERE AS MANY OF YOU HAVE BEEN DOING.
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Mr Nice
According to the receivers Imjack SCL will be liquidated in the very near future - no surprise really. This will be the final nail in the coffin for those still holding out hope of still being paid for the work they did.
As regards the CVA, i believe that will be 30/04 before they have to stump-up the £500K. This should be really interesting. Im pretty sure that 30/4 will mark the end of this prolonged finale.
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Re I doubt it. Now every one get a grip.
Ollie my old pal, the bet still on? I agree with you, crap campaign, people moaning about having to go a month before getting paid, are these nutters straight off the dole? Just closed in Cafe Roug'e total strangers, took me two hours, beat that Ollie.
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I would take a look at all the people that have at one time or another been in the employment of Morris and where most of them are today. You will probably find that they have gone on to be very succesful business operators with turnovers and profits that far exceed what Morris has ever achieved. Organically grown businesses that go from strength to strength bear greater rewards than those that are artficially manufactured for fund raising. You only need to look at the boys that have gone off and started satallite tracking companies like the executives of Masternaught for a perfect example of this theory. So when you make reference to ex members of staff, it may be wise to think before writing as most of us are enjoying good times since leaving Jeffrey Morris's employment. It is us that have moved on, whilst Morris has been left behind with his 1980/90's sales processes that no longer have a place in this current business arena.
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Re:
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Re, Mr Nice.
Only a few have gone on to enjoy good times, hopefully yourself being one of them. But for the greater percentage I'm afraid they're stuck, it's in the above posts for all to see. ( Don't forget, hundreds have passed through the doors. )
Jeffrey Morris is a success.
Good luck with your future.
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Mr Nice
He was, is , will, be one of the men.
G F, of course the bets still on, 7 so far this week, 60% shit tank.
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Please hurry 30th April
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Nothing like a good old FACT
FACT: Morris is very nearly finished in the business world.
FACT: Thousands of people are reading this thread.
FACT: 99.99999% of them are loving it.
FACT: Everyone in the business world knows what Morris stands for.
FACT: Morris is a liar.
FACT: Morris is a thief.
FACT: Morris owes millions.
FACT: There are many more facts to come.
Watch out for many many more FACTS.
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Other Successes
What matters is that Jeffrey has defrauded so many people: employees, suppliers, close friends. The majority of these people want to see him fail and of course are a little bitter.
We can all understand why. The indisputable facts are that Jeffrey and the poeple he chose to manage his companies (not all mind you...and the really good people he had were doing great things at some of his enterprises in the earlier days). It's absolutely no coincidence that he won't get those types of people working for him now. The avoid him like a barge pole and all the majortity of those above sticking up for him now are definitely lackies. There are some currently employed with Beesinaction, however, that are certainly switched on and in their heart of hearts they know its only going to continue to crumble down.
They'll be ok though and get great jobs after theyve seen sense. Stick to property Jeffrey and just stop employing people to ruin their lives. It's just unfair.
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Other Successes
What matters is that Jeffrey has defrauded so many people: employees, suppliers, close friends. The majority of these people want to see him fail and of course are a little bitter.
We can all understand why. The indisputable facts are that Jeffrey and the poeple he chose to manage his companies (not all mind you...and the really good people he had were doing great things at some of his enterprises in the earlier days). It's absolutely no coincidence that he won't get those types of people working for him now. The avoid him like a barge pole and all the majortity of those above sticking up for him now are definitely lackies. There are some currently employed with Beesinaction, however, that are certainly switched on and in their heart of hearts they know its only going to continue to crumble down.
They'll be ok though and get great jobs after theyve seen sense. Stick to property Jeffrey and just stop employing people to ruin their lives. It's just unfair.
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Re: Nothing like a good old FACT
The only thing this thread is good for is a good laugh every morning.
Do you store your facts up your back passage along with all the other facts we've been promised in this thread... You know the one's back at Xmas that were going to be revealed in only a matter of days... Needless to say it's only 2 months later and the entire thread is still waiting for you to excrete your 'hot juicy load' of facts all over this discussion....
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THESE ARE ALL FACTS - STOP TRYING TO HIDE THEM
FACT: Morris is very nearly finished in the business world.
FACT: Thousands of people are reading this thread.
FACT: 99.99999% of them are loving it.
FACT: Everyone in the business world knows what Morris stands for.
FACT: Morris is a liar.
FACT: Morris is a thief.
FACT: Morris owes millions.
FACT: There are many more facts to come.
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F.A.C.T.S
A = Attempt
C = Considering
T = Time
S = Spent making them up
:)
Zorro
-- friend of facts
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MORE FACTS FROM THE FACT MAN
FACT: Jeffrey Morris has no friends.
FACT: No coincidence that he has no money either.
FACT: Jeffrey Morris is a desperate man.
FACT: Jeffrey Morris is a liar and lies to companies just to extort money from them.
FACT: Jeffrey Morris is disliked by many.
FACT: Jeffrey Morris is in a lot of trouble.
FACT: Jeffrey Morris goes under the aliases of Zorro and Pseudonym on here - slight correction, he tells them what to write and they post in English as Morris is incapable.
FACT: Morris is seething at these posts because he never wanted the truth to come out about his antics.
FACT: 30th April will see the end of Im Jack PLC - yippee
Keep watching this thread for some more JEFFREY MORRIS FACTS.
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Percentages.
All the above is crap, hanging down like a gorrilas hand bag. No work in any of them.100% shite line. Wearing their mothers socks, their brothers ties. You think I didn't notice? Jeffrey, where's my new car? Jeffrey where's my breakfast money? Jeffrey I've got no petrol money, been looking round the pavements for droppings. Coming for lunch? I've not got a piece of shit in my pocket.
Now then hear we are,
Ollie 50% shit tank/ hey, all the above why don't you ask Stuart Herns about success, well? He speaks highly of Mr Morris he's a top bloke, see? Mr G F 0% shit tank, the boy's flying so he is, Pete 20% shit tank, throw it around like it's rat muck, we do.
Nuts for monkies and Good Fellow treats us all to wine and olives for lunch.
But for now I'm going in, I'm gonna deal. What you do'in, washing the car? reading Hello?
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"What goes around comes around"
When he was sat at the top of the tree he let everyone know where he was and treated people like human lumps of dirt. He used to think the world was his oyster and to a point it was because money talks.
Now look at him. Everyone is shouting at him on the way down and now he appears to have hit rock bottom people are treading on him. I honestly doubt this is out of spite, more like the inner and intense dislike people have harboured inside for Jeffrey Morris for many years, since he treated them like dirt. This is like retribution on a massive scale.
I am not one to get involved in the personal tittle tattle (although undoubtedly most of it is true) but I think it is a fair assumption that Jeffrey Morris is not an innocent man that random people have decided to gang-up on. More like a serial aggressor that is getting his just deserts.
As for the scraps mentioned in earlier comments i could more understand and agree with them if it was referring to Jeffrey Morris in his hay day some 15yrs ago. We are however talking about today and I can assure you that there are simply no scraps anymore - he simply cannot afford them.
To summarise: Justice is still very much alive and i congratulate those who have made sure of that in this case.
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Saturdays Facts
FACT: He is losing his grip on everything and is secretly seething.
FACT: He is now surrounded by his worst set of hangers-on and scrap feeders.
FACT: There is not one person involved in his business who genuinely believes in it.
FACT: Everyone on here should congratulate themselves for not allowing a manipulative, self important little twat (Jeffrey Morris) to get away with whatever he does.
The facts will be getting far more interesting next week so keep visiting.
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Some more concrete info.
Lie:
Everyone that leaves the company will get a letter explaining the situation, and a promise that they will receive their pay as soon as we have it.
Reality:
Most of the people that have left have received no correspondence at all, those that have mostly it has just been a fake pay slip and a p45 which shows the incorrect amount of pay received. Note that the tax office cannot do anything about that unless the company admits to the 'mistake'. To reduce liability not a single person has been promised a bean.
Lie:
This idea will definitely hit the big time. Some of you will progress to have careers beyond your wildest dreams.
Reality:
None of our ideas have any longevity because they are all designed to make money up front, falsely inflate the share price, and allow for a profitable sale of the company. Nobody cares about individual employees, or anything remotely as long term as a career.
Lie:
I've got a meeting in London with the SSAT and will tell you all about it when I get back.
Reality:
I might have a meeting but it's unlikely to be with the SSAT and I won't tell anybody anything unless they persistently ask, and even then I'll tell the version of the truth which I think you want to hear or the one which will ensure you continue to work without any real idea on the potential implications for your salary or human rights.
Lie:
I am a family man and care deeply and respect all of my employees rights to occasionally put their family before work.
Reality:
I only care about my family, and the family of those that can aid me financially (such as the family of my lawyer and doctor perhaps?). I only agree that family should come first when it suits me, and I don't believe that the chance you might not get paid and not be able to look after your family is more important than my business and profits.
Lie:
I am a fair and caring man.
Reality:
Unless I've decided I don't like you. In which case I will either ignore you, bully you, or sack you without pay.
Lie:
I respect all of my employees.
Reality:
When you get sacked I will not personally have anything to do with it. Instead I will send someone else to do my dirty work because I couldn't care less. I will also hide in my office if you come in to serve legal papers, do everything in my power to keep your friends and co-workers from ever speaking to you again, and generally bad mouth you in office meetings as a waste of space that was required to be gotten rid of.
Lie:
I guarantee that under the Big Society scheme schools will not just get their SLA back but will have the opportunity to earn more funding.
Reality:
Does anyone actually know? This scheme will be forgotten about and ignored.
Anyone got any others to add?
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What a brilliant last post
The Morris situation reminds me of the recent situation in Egypt. A tyrant that manipulated his people for years to disgusting and vile extremes and was then overthrown by those very people.
See you in the bankruptcy court soon Jeffrey.
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You deserve a break!
I know you are struggling like hell just to keep a roof over your head and it really must be hard for you especially given the image you have portrayed to people over the years.
You have not been away for a long time and I think a break could do you good. You could find a really well priced holiday at:
http://www.butlins.com/?utm_source=Google&utm_medium=PPC&utm_term=Butlins&utm_cam paign=%7BBrand%7D&ito=1722&itc=GAC6852546131&itkw=butlins#
If you are struggling financially with the prices Butlins are charging then just sack someone a couple of days before the end of the month and use that money to finance it.
You are just a normal person now but with huge debts so start living in a way that reflects that rather than continuing to act like a big shot.
Lots of love,
A caring old friend.
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Re: You deserve a break!
But I can tell you were the great white shark is swimming, well at least what I've heard. apparrently he has been seen swimming on the shores by the grave yards of the North. Oh yes, eyes rolling, belly still full from fresh feasts from those southern boys, grinning cuz his wallet is stinking. Bespoke Italian suits slide easy over the sexy tan leather in his big say of a motor. I phoned him, no answer, piss bucket not even touched, and here's me chasing him cuz I wanna be a big boy. What do people think? His attack is crazy, fin clearly visible as he sinks his teeth in, he shouts " looking down what " ? Where? I've got my foot down gonna drive up tonight, will keep you informed. Me? six solid, him? ten and still rising, shit tank empty, but meat sack so full he struggles to swim in these rougth waters.
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Ollie.
Chin, chin old pal.
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Ollie.
Chin, chin old pal.
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Real Time.
Catain Jack as I shall call him told me to hit this ding dong at 10.15 / shows me how easy real time communication is chuck a few #### in and it's secure. See you at X X order some chill and smokins.
Big day tommorow, 4 in Newcastle but shall stop at The Harrows tonight.
Jeffrey Morris is a TOP MAN.
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SKINTO MORRIS
I know you are struggling like hell just to keep a roof over your head and it really must be hard for you especially given the image you have portrayed to people over the years.
You have not been away for a long time and I think a break could do you good. You could find a really well priced holiday at:
http://www.butlins.com/?utm_source=Google&utm_medium=PPC&utm_term=Butlins&utm_cam paign=%7BBrand%7D&ito=1722&itc=GAC6852546131&itkw=butlins#
If you are struggling financially with the prices Butlins are charging then just sack someone a couple of days before the end of the month and use that money to finance it.
You are just a normal person now but with huge debts so start living in a way that reflects that rather than continuing to act like a big shot.
Lots of love,
A caring old friend.
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Who is Ollie and PJ
As an avid reader of this site, I'm always watching for updates on the status quo with Mr. Morris, BEESINACTION, Amteus, The Media Buzz etc etc....there doesnt seem to be any more intelligence coming through.
If any of the aggrieved still read this I'd ask...have you yet been paid? Are schools still seriously opting in to business arrangements with this notorious bandit Jeffrey Morris??
All the way through this thread we read have read of current and former employees being treated deplorably at the hands of Morris and his various management teams; from Minor Planet, through WWT, The Media Buzz, AMteus, Wamey and now BeesinAction we see people who have been insulted at every turn, live in constant fear of losing their jobs, not being paid for months, lies, smoke and mirrors.
I suppose is all of this people forget that 80% (this is still probably inaccurate...and by that I mean too low) of the customers convinced to buy in to one of Jeffrey's solutions/products had terribel experiences. Equally, many took Jeffrey legal and won. Will BEESIN ACTION be any different? Let's hope so since it's our schools and by proxy our children that will suffer.
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SKINTO MORRISO
Lets clarify a few points. Morris has paid non of the people who were so cruelly sacked and even worse than that has mailed some of them P45's stating their final pay to include the money they hadnt received.
Morris is a con man. Unfortunately regardless of your status within the business you are put under extreme pressure to tow the line and unfortunately that means conning businesses.
This bandit (as you politely refer to it) Jeffrey Morris, is a third the way down a very very steep slide and for those that dont understand velocity, let me explain. As it (Morris) continues down this steep slide he will gain speed until he is falling so fast that he will disintegrate on landing. The cushioned mat at the base of this slide has been removed and replaced with a pack of hungry lions.
Talk about Morris going on holiday. I have no doubt he will be at one of the queens hotels in the not too distant future.
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Looks like Morris is foooked
Why has no-one yet mentioned his pathetic squeaky voice that used to grind on me so badly. The same squeaky voice that used to spout anything but the truth.
He is a man that leaves a business legacy of fraud, lies, deception with an element of life-wrecking. A man, so manipulative, that he used to get staff from all four corners of the country to come into the office on a Sunday for a, so called, meeting.
I dont wish to elaborate on the content of those infamous Sunday meetings but suffice to say they were sick and stomach turning.
In conclusion Jeffrey Morris is a c**t.
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UPDATE
Whats really good is that they haven't taken a penny since christmas and unless he finds half a million pounds in the next 63 days his business is gone.
For all those of you that wanted this result you have done a great job and for those of you that didnt its probably time you all start looking for a new place to work.
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My Observations.
I am now hearing that Morris is upset about some of the posts, annoyed, depressed, sick and has even begun threatening people he suspects could be involved.
It is important that a sense of perspective is considered here. Having read a vast proportion of these blogs and armed with me personal experiences and knowledge I can honestly say that almost all the blogs on here are accurate. Yes, there are some which seem to be motivated by intense hatred but I suppose thats how people feel when a boss has used and abused them and proceeded to spit them out and then, to add insult to injury, proceeded to tread on them.
I am sure if Morris had treated everyone correctly then this blog would either not exist or would only have a few comments, certainly not 500+. I think this is a great mode for disenchanted people to express their honest opinions thus ensuring these disgraceful actions do not go unnoticed.
Morris always seemed to be a bloke who thought he could literally treat people how he liked with his downside being a small compensation payment when he had had enough of them. He would often contest unfair dismissal claims in court and would have no qualms in lying to save himself a measly few hundred pounds.
If Jeffrey Morris was my son, grandson, brother, cousin or close friend for that matter, I would be embarrassed at the way he has negatively affected peoples lives. The upset he has caused some people is appalling not to mention the relationship fall-outs he has caused. I would estimate at in excess of 400 people will have been victims of his callous treatment over the years, possibly and probably far more.
Whilst not condoning the comments about members of his family and his inner-circle of employees I can understand why one or two people have commented. Although, as I mentioned earlier, I have thankfully not worked for him for eight years there were people he used to treat very differently to others during my tenure at Minorplanet. A couple of them were there on merit and others were there through family friendships etc. When this type of favouritism is displayed it stimulates others to feel the same sense of utter misanthropy towards those being favoured. Again Morris should be held accountable for these comments as it is he, by his actions, who induced them.
What is evident to me is that this blog is giving victims a chance to have their say and I am not surprised by the responses nor the circulation. If Morris had treated any of my family the way he treated some of the people who worked there I would not have been responsible for my actions.
For those of you victims out there take heart from me and my business partners experiences. We used Jeffrey Morris as a way of seeing how not to treat people and how not to run a business which is why today we have a couple of successful businesses and are living our lives in the way lives should be lived.
BELIEVE IN YOUR ABILITY AND GO AND MAKE A SUCCESS OF YOURSELF.
GOOD LUCK.
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Re: Who is Ollie and PJ
Have a top week end men, see you @ XX in about two hours. I'm going in.
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Reduced to intolerable nonsense
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Re: Re: Who is Ollie and PJ
So, what now? Well let me tell you I'm going to eat at a motorway stop. What do you suppose I'll be doing as I eat the most exspensive filth on the menu? Hey? Well? Let me tell you I'm going to strike out. I'll have dealt 11 by the end of the day, see me, see how I do it.
Keep up the hard work you Leeds guys, don't listen to the shite, word is it's gonna work, that'll piss em off. Be a sticker not a licker.
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Re: Reduced to intolerable nonsense
Some where amongst all the above spew is some one stating he sits around all day on face book / twitter. The above posts have been mostly written by repeat people the word is people don't give a shit.
Whit out exception you all were there because you wanted to be rich, you didn't realise how hard that was.
Move on!
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Re: Reduced to intolerable nonsense
Some where amongst all the above spew is some one stating he sits around all day on face book / twitter. The above posts have been mostly written by repeat people the word is people don't give a shit.
Whit out exception you all were there because you wanted to be rich, you didn't realise how hard that was.
Move on!
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Blinkered..but its ok
There's a real common theme running through this thread from discursive regarding limericks Jeffrey would sing to underperforming sales people at Xmas to alleged racial slurs. That theme is one of utter contempt for Jeffrey Morris - some may say its unfair and unfounded and others feel its completely justified.
For my part, I was one of the higher performing sales people working for Jeffrey and never had a cross word or any ill-feeling towards him whatsoever. I was paid well and lived well.
However, I was appalled at how he treated people around him, his senior team and his staff in general. I never found it funny or constructive and it seems that when the wheels really started to fall off his latest couple of enterprises that all of this finally came to light and found its way onto the public domain. Just desserts in all probability. I wonder...how are you really being treated there? Are you employing real sales science in your positioning of the companies products? Are you confident of their ability to deliver on their promises?
If the answer is 'well' to the first and 'yes' to the rest then great. If not and if youre not getting in-depth coaching and if the schools/clients aren't getting the support they deserve post-sale, then I'd suggest the whole thing on it's way to the business scrapheap again. I'd suggest that would be a shame as this Beesinaction project has real merit; let's hope that there's the back-end infrastructure to back it up this time. I know the likes of Glen and the developers are gifted clever guys...let's hope their ability shines through and more importantly that they're getting paid.
I doubt in even their ability to overcome the challenges they're undoubtedly facing day to day on the back of JM's reputation. To think that potential investors/clients arent reading this thread and that they pay it no mind is a mistake.
Anyway, good luck.
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c`sc
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Holland & Barrett bringing trouble on themselves!
I think someone ought to notify them at the following address:
The more people who email them the more compelling the argument. Sometimes the truth hurts and it's a shame Holland & Barrett are about to make a potentially huge mistake that will invoke an awful backlash.
Please send Holland and Barrett your Morris horror stories.
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Holland & Barrett bringing trouble on themselves!
Thanks
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understand latin, understand the world
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Nulla eu nunc dui, at tempus nulla. Nam feugiat, est at porttitor consectetur, massa diam fermentum sapien, et placerat odio ipsum id magna. Sed nec elit ipsum. Ut laoreet turpis vel neque iaculis sit amet facilisis elit tempor. Nullam non felis eu ante scelerisque vulputate in et metus. Proin dapibus ultrices nisl, ut ullamcorper felis lacinia eget. Suspendisse diam eros, adipiscing sit amet feugiat in, elementum eu quam. Sed interdum, est nec dapibus pharetra, eros enim tincidunt leo, eu varius neque sem semper nulla. Curabitur ut viverra tellus. Nunc ultricies quam id est dictum porttitor. Curabitur quis turpis lorem. Phasellus a risus sapien. Curabitur euismod mauris eget nulla semper commodo. Aliquam eu nulla risus. Morbi odio sem, pharetra semper iaculis id, commodo sed mi. In id risus odio. Duis vehicula libero at sem accumsan sed semper augue imperdiet. Fusce sapien ligula, pulvinar vitae imperdiet sed, varius a ligula.
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Aliquam molestie mi nisl. Aliquam cursus lacus a quam faucibus vel tincidunt urna iaculis. Aliquam erat volutpat. Phasellus id mi aliquet quam ultricies blandit sit amet ut orci. Morbi euismod sem nec ligula rutrum vel luctus augue hendrerit. Vestibulum id risus ut justo porta viverra. Maecenas tempus fermentum lobortis. Nullam sit amet orci vitae sapien volutpat semper. Nam dapibus, augue sollicitudin faucibus tincidunt, diam orci sollicitudin quam, sed tincidunt odio justo vel neque. Donec pulvinar semper feugiat. Mauris condimentum mauris vitae orci pulvinar fermentum. Donec in mi in mi posuere tincidunt id ut turpis. Phasellus sodales facilisis scelerisque.
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Bees in Action
Have the board at Holland & Barrett had exposure of this sight and as such gained any insight into the notorious business dealings of jeffrey Morris?? Surely not??
I certainly hope that Holland & Barrett are mitigating risk with Jeffrey Morris and not exposing themselves financially or they'll find themslves in hot water!! By the same token, ket's hope that Jeffrey Morris upsets this UK retail giant and that they take him to task.
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Bees in Action
Have the board at Holland & Barrett had exposure of this sight and as such gained any insight into the notorious business dealings of jeffrey Morris?? Surely not??
I certainly hope that Holland & Barrett are mitigating risk with Jeffrey Morris and not exposing themselves financially or they'll find themslves in hot water!! By the same token, ket's hope that Jeffrey Morris upsets this UK retail giant and that they take him to task.
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Holland & Barrett
Don't let that deter you from emailing Holland and Barrett and their Marketing Agency.
Looks like the clowns in the hive have rather foolishly used generic online offers from Virgin, Photobox and Shearings which, unbeknown to the idiots in the bee hive is illegal.
Watch this space!!!!!!
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The net is closing in on a major crook
We are closing in on the final days of this pathetic, evil, liars business career.
He has turned into a public fool and the laughing stock of thousands. All our posts have indeed had the most incredible effect in stopping Jeffrey Morris (and his fraud machine) in his tracks thereby ensuring his days of lying, defrauding and conning both businesses and employees are now just a distant memory.
Some of the stories I have been told concerning the levels he has stooped to in his attempts to fight this tirade of whistle-blowing are nothing short of hysterical.
The fuse has been lit and it will not be long before Morris and everything he owns (which is really very little as everything he owns has been used to borrow against) goes "BANG".
Thank you Techdirt - you have been a revelation.
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Holland & Barrett
Like all of JM's projects though there'll be some corners cut somewhere - I'd be astonished if the proposition in it's entirety is flawless from pre-sales through delivery to account management. There's bound to be gaps.
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Re: Re: Reduced to intolerable nonsense
very well done for this week guys. Truly amazing.Ok, the drinks are on me, my Blooms bonus is behind the bar @ club XX. please remember to view this slurry on Fri / Sat.
This weeks tip for top sales people. The guys must be hung, the women must be built. see you @ 10 pm XX.
GFR.
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Re: Re: Re: Reduced to intolerable nonsense
Tuned in as requested thank you very much for the introduction. JP on 8, then as follows from 10 down to 1 inclusive. so JP 8 then, 5,5,5,4,3,3,3,3,7. Will be at XX 10.30, one more sit.
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Re: Re: Re: Reduced to intolerable nonsense where for art thou? eh sharky?
10 pm.
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Ongoing Investigation
He has it all coming and our great legal system of providing justice will prevail.
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Reduced to intolerable nonsense where for art thou? eh sharky?
Viva la Morris!!
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Reduced to intolerable nonsense where for art thou? eh sharky?
Viva la Good Fellow Rising.
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Reduced to intolerable nonsense where for art thou? eh sharky? Stephen Bennet talking to GF.
GF, 3, could have poss got 4 but time ran out.
SB, Now,, people are asking me. Whats this all about?
GF, They don't get it, it's all down to hard work.... maybe not even that, just being busy, being there. The right place the right time.
SB, Will there come a time when you will elaborate on the above?
GF, Sure, but for now lets put this tom foolery behind us and move on.
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Nearly there
He has it all coming and our great legal system of providing justice will prevail.
GREAT POST.
I spoke to someone who works there earlier and whilst attempting to sound concerned I was shaking with excitement when I heard what he had to say.
I'm summary:
Morris is still encouraging the staff to blatantly lie to the unsuspecting companies he is attempting to get offers from.
Not one offer has been redeemed.
Morris has run out of money and has now resorted to trying yo borrow from family to keep the business in existence.
All his staff are looking for new jobs because he disgusts them and they hate it there.
Jeffrey Morris spends his days getting older, poorer and lying.
This forum has acted as a great escalator in his personal and business demise and for that We thank you all.
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Waste Of Time!
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I agree!
I, along with many others who frequent this site think thing that the thread is now boring and beyond a joke!
Bond St Boy appears to have his finger on the pulse!
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The Truth
Very credible - NOT!!!!!
Let's just re-post the factual comments:
Jeffrey Morris is a liar, a callous thief, a fraud and an all round douchebag.
He has it all coming and our great legal system of providing justice will prevail.
GREAT POST.
I spoke to someone who works there earlier and whilst attempting to sound concerned I was shaking with excitement when I heard what he had to say.
I'm summary:
Morris is still encouraging the staff to blatantly lie to the unsuspecting companies he is attempting to get offers from.
Not one offer has been redeemed.
Morris has run out of money and has now resorted to trying yo borrow from family to keep the business in existence.
All his staff are looking for new jobs because he disgusts them and they hate it there.
Jeffrey Morris spends his days getting older, poorer and lying.
This forum has acted as a great escalator in his personal and business demise and for that We thank you all.
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The Truth!
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"Great Post????"
Face facts, there is no mighty campaign machine that is gathering pace. You are amateurish in your ways and extremely naive. God bless you my little disillusioned friend!
Ha ha ha ha he he he!!!!!!!!!
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Re: Waste Of Time!
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Stephen Bennet, Mar 20th, 2011 @ 5:58am
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Seems so...
The poor souls that Jeffrey used and discarded throughout all of his career as an entrepreneur have moved on to bigger and better things we hope. The ones above that obviously still remain in his employment probably continue to chow down on the JM scrap table...insulted at every turn, no development, no career path, no 'real' money either, of that I'm sure....
I left the JM clan years ago and its incredible how different it was in the real world...used to it now of course but still astonishes me how people worked, lived in that environment.
One other thing I'll say is that its not a few people in different guises...over the last few years there's a load of different people added their comments. Youre right though...no ones bothered now but not a single person of any real calibre would work for that guy again under any circumstances. Good luck all and good luck to Holland & Barrett (if theyre exposed financially under their commercial agreement with Beesinaction). It'll all come unstuck again.
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Morris the thief gets warned the authorities are investigating!!!
Someone working there used the word "dead" to describe the atmosphere and commercial activity in the business and the word "impossible" was confidently used when asked if they thought there would be a business there on May 1.
This campaign is still in full swing but just not as overt as in previous stages. It is superseding expectation and expects to assist organisations greatly in the issuing of criminal proceedings against Morris for fraud, erroneous share dealings and theft.
This campaign will achieve more than it ever planned especially with the ally from within. The one who was discussing and bragging about falsified medical reports to his "pals" last week.
Keep visiting for updates:
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Excellent News
Jeffrey Morris has more in common with those populating C-Wing in Armley Prison than with people in open society.
He is no longer respected by anyone be it family, employees or "friends" (he never had any genuine ones) simply because he can't afford them anymore.
What goes around comes around and Morris has reached the bend - it's all coming his way now!!!
I too have heard about how he tried to lie about illness to delay court hearings and how he jokes about false charges for damages he is bringing against a well known bank.
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Re: Morris the thief gets warned the authorities are investigating!!!
XX 10.30pm.
I Lovely boy.
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HAPPY MOTHERS DAY JEFFREY!
ENJOY THE DAY. 30th APRIL LOOMS LARGE.
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What happens then?
What is going to happen then in real terms? Will the doors be closed on Beesinaction? IS Jeffrey being forced to give money back etc etc??
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Re: What happens then?
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Desperate Jeffrey Morris try's
there so he tells me. All got paid by cheque, late, Morris telling everyone he's doing a deal with Yell and got the marketing fellow working on stuff for that. As for the rest of them they are fed-up, tired and all looking for new jobs.
Morris has been running round to all his family with a begging bowl and has now resorted to getting people like Edugeek to issue apologies. Really very funny when in actual fact all it has done is to induce more people to look at the Techdirt site - what a dip shit. He literally has no money left, doesn't even talk big anymore, he is being sued by everyone and my man on the inside tells me that his fraudulent case against Barclays doesn't seem to be doing much other than costing him money - typical Jeffrey Morris.
As others have mentioned it's great to see the changes in his life and his desperate antics bring deployed. He must now realise his "hate figure" status.
Let's face it, this is a man who has stolen off people, got doctors to lie for him, is lying in court about financial institutions and is an all round unintelligent crook.
Morris, welcome to the real world and can't wait to see you fail.
Oh I forgot to mention the pain I feel for him and his family for the upset all this has caused them. I'm afraid that this is self inflicted and there is only one person that has caused this upset and that is JEFFREY MORRIS. ALL WE CAN BE ACCUSED OF IS PUBLICISING FACTS.
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Is all of the above true?
One big big reason why Beesinaction will fail.... An educational initiative like this needs the following ingredients to succeed:
- an incredible PR machine behind it figureheaded by well-known and respected public figures(whether those are politicians, celebrities,sports people etc impossible as JM's reputation is so bad he darent risk that sort of widespread coverage)
- the best partnerships (where are they?)
- staff that are invested (he had that in some of his other companies...not created by him mind you but by some dedicated and professional leaders he was fortunate enough to buy...at the time)
- financial clout (does he still have the money...if we're to believe the above then not?)
- gifted sales people, support people, delivery, project managers..... he prob has a few good sales guys, some good developers and thats it...I guar-an-tee that clients invariably end up at best disappointed... thats a certainty.
Good luck though to all the guys still in there. The ones writing seem invested still.
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Jeffrey Morris
Just type "Jeffrey Morris" into Google and see what comes up second in the list. You must put "Jeffrey Morris" in every future post.
Even if it's just to day that Jeffrey Morris is penniless.
Happy Days are here for good! Well done everyone
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Bye Jeff. It was ('nt) fun
I haven't spent hours on this forum, as it's a bit 'shouty' but I've done my own bit in the background, personally mailing Prof Byron, SSAT etc to highlight some home truths.
I hope those that are still linked to him get out with their wages and dignity and I hope that this whole episode will be a sobering thought for Jeff and his few remaining loyal henchmen, erm sorry, minions and sponging hangers-on.
I'm glad that his parking scheme on Sweet St has been exposed too, that must have been the only remaining source of cash he had.
all the best to those that have learned from the Jeftel (etc) experience. time to stop being bitter and move along.
Good luck
:)
PS I notice that his paid lackeys have stopped shouting their mouths off on here, does that imply that they have been sacked too?
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Re: Bye Jeff. It was ('nt) fun
Very well done, Mr morris you are a true gent and indeed a true winer.
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Time to
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Time to celebrate
It was music to my ears.
No one else will lend him a penny, he is left without a business, without a penny, without anyone who gives a **** about him but WITH a reputation.
His reputation being one of a bitter, twisted, incapable lying failure.
A day I never thought I'd see - bye bye Jeffrey Morris, your cell is ready and waiting.
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Re: Time to celebrate, my dear boy you have made it all up.
Good night, Animal.
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Re: Re: Time to celebrate, my dear boy you have made it all up.
do you know anything about 10 Manchester St, London? Nice spot, you know who drinks there don't you? And why do they say Mr Morris is a failure? What absolute crap, do you know Stephen Bennet? I do. Did you know that the Good Fellow once did a deal drew the bonus and gave it to Bennets crew for a end of week drink? So what I here them ask, not a clue have they? the bonus was 1K. I'm not really making a point, but there is one in there if you know how to look for it. I wonder who's lunch time meeting you happened along, I have a sort of a clue if indeed Mr Fellow was there.
No, no campaign, infact no anything.
Look at his hair, his eyes, his tan. Now tell me he's not the man.
All the years that are to pass you will never be achieve what Jeffrey Morris has.
Love, Tom.
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No sense at all
You keep telling others to move on so why dont you and leave it now? Its obvious there's no campaign, jeffrey's not broke, there's no criminal investigation, no one that Jeffrey owed mony to will get a f***** penny back, the ideas are still good but the delivery is still a bag of horse shit and that my one dimensional friends is that.
People have moved on, no one of real substance will ever deal with a JM company again and the 'crook' stigma will go with Jeffrey forever.
Love Dr. Lovejoy.
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Re: No sense at all
Fare well....
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Jeffrey Morris
WWT are Jeftel or whatever they are called have the same management, building, owners as each other. Fact. They are of course different companies but 1 person can own 2 companies. One company claims to be an anti-spam tool and the other is factually a spammer.
During my investigations into Morris for a client, I discovered a whole range of scams, bullying etc that he had been involved with and tried to use expensive London law firm Mishcon de Reya to defend him. When I read these so-called advocates of Morris praise him, they are clearly paid-for cronies. In my investigations, I discovered that most of his management hated him with a passion. I had a total of 14 of his then current and former management staff willing to testify how he scammed them. Unfortunately, the case didn't even need to come to court as Morris paid up. What I also found was a chain of unwitting small businesses who had been scammed by WWT Media and then bullied by expensive law firms. I had 1 guy crying when he spoke to me. It's about time that Morris was brought to justice. A quite despicable man with no morals. One day, he will get the justice he so badly deserves.
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Bye bye
What goes up must come down but it looks like you have experienced a high impact landing ;-) X
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A great start to summer.
Morris what have you done with the £35m you had only a few years ago? Please tell us all it's all gone. Have you still got that sickening ego or has that gone with your money?
Hope you aren't stressed. We would hate you to feel as stressed as you used to make us all feel because it wrecks peoples lives.
Take care Jeffrey, I'd have waved if I'd seen you on the way down but you must have taken so many down with you that you were hard to spot.
Never mind.
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Re: Jeffrey Morris
Fool!!!!
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Re: Bye bye
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Re: A great start to summer.
Fool.
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A great start to summer
Morris what have you done with the £35m you had only a few years ago? Please tell us all it's all gone. Have you still got that sickening ego or has that gone with your money?
Hope you aren't stressed. We would hate you to feel as stressed as you used to make us all feel because it wrecks peoples lives.
Take care Jeffrey, I'd have waved if I'd seen you on the way down but you must have taken so many down with you that you were hard to spot.
Never mind.
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A great start to summer
Morris what have you done with the £35m you had only a few years ago? Please tell us all it's all gone. Have you still got that sickening ego or has that gone with your money?
Hope you aren't stressed. We would hate you to feel as stressed as you used to make us all feel because it wrecks peoples lives.
Take care Jeffrey, I'd have waved if I'd seen you on the way down but you must have taken so many down with you that you were hard to spot.
Never mind.
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Rise and fall of a crook
How's it going old boy. I'm reading all these posts and it's looking like perhaps you are not the clever, sharp entrepreneur you have always told me you thought you were.
It must mske you very proud to know family, friends, associates and complete strangers are reading all this about you. Those close to you must be so proud of your achievements. Whilst there may be a few inaccuracies in these posts I have little doubt that most of the accusations will have some substance.
I hear you advised all sorts of people to buy shares by informing them about goings-on in the business (I have my suspicions if that was legal or not) and it seems as though you paid off debts with IM Jack shares - Little wonder they want nothing to do with you given the delisting of IM Jack PLC and the liquidation of IM Jack Secure Communications Limited.
Jeffrey, there is little that has provided me with more pleasure over recent months than seeing what has been going on with you and the companies you have been involved with. I was even going to bid on one of your number plates because I still have a few bob unlike yourself.
I suggest that as mentioned in a previous message there has been no greater example of karma. You have, single-handedly, restored my faith in humanity.
We were once great friends but following the way you lied and deceived me, writing on here provides me with great pleasure and goes some way to appeasing me.
I have heard from a mutual friend that you read all these notes so let me ask you two questions:
1. Do you now have remorse in the way you have treated people over the years?
2. What are you doing at the moment and are you experiencing severe financial difficulty?
An old great friend.
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Morris Magic
Morris you little fatty - where you working?
Morris you little fatty - you are a nothing!!
Morris you little fatty - are your bees in action?
Morris you little fatty - you getting badly stung
You are a shining example of everything decent-people shouldn't be. Your story is endemic of what happens to tyrants who use people as their source of entertainment. After many years this happens, YOU BECOME THE SOURCE OF THEIR ENTERTAINMENT.
Thanks for the fun fatty.
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Re: Morris Magic
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Re: A great start to summer
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Re: Morris Magic
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J morris Your a star
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Jeffrey Morris
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Re: Jeffrey Morris
Now, on to more important questions, Are you out there Stephen Bennet? I have been to Bar XX and met GF.Because of this page of course.He told me of the gamble and was humbled by your support. I believe you are now in Scotland up selling.If you go to Manchester St. London there's an add in Dollys window for 2 weeks. Re: Oak table for sale. Call it I'm on it and I'm very interested in the water idea. Also I called at Bar XX for 2 weeks before bumping into G Fellow, hope this shows some thing to you.
Bye for now, Carla.
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R2D2
His treatment of people is tantamount to abuse and not everyone on here will be wrong. There has obviously been a wide variety of contributors who have (and the proof is there for all to see) all suffered at the hands of the liar who is Morris and consequently suffered.
You will not be hearing from me on here again primarily because the campaign of publicising what Morris is all about has been fully exposed. That said, it is always handy to keep a few things "in the back pocket".
May the force be with you!
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Re: R2D2
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Re: HAPPY MOTHERS DAY JEFFREY!
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Re: Re: HAPPY MOTHERS DAY JEFFREY!
It's all lies. He is a lovely, caring and honest person who just wants to see people do well. He has successful business and thankfully has never failed at anything. IM Jack is peeking and the CBI have nominated him for a knighthood for his services to British industry - AND IF YOU LOOK OUT OF YOUR NEAREST WINDOW YOU WILL SEE A TROOP OF FLYING ELEPHANTS CLOSELY FOLLOWED BY THE FLYING PIGS.
JEFFREY MORRIS IS A LYING LOW-LIFE WITH NO CREDEBILITY LEFT IN ANY CIRCLES SO THERE REALLY IS NO NEED TO WASTE YOUR TIME ON HERE ANYMORE. IT WILL ALWAYS BE HERE FOR REFERENCE AND MORRIS WILL ONLY EVER BE SEEN IN BANCRUPTCY OFFICES AND BENEFITS OFFICES.
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Re: Re: Re: HAPPY MOTHERS DAY JEFFREY!
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Re: Rise and fall of a crook
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Re: Re: Re: HAPPY MOTHERS DAY JEFFREY!
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Re: Re: Jeffrey Morris
Everything on this page is a crap lot of childish muck. Any one reading it laugth at the brown stains they call news. Now then Carla the water at the moment is a slow burn, but we are pushing, so that's how it is. Going up at least and not down. I would say steady and comfortable. I shall be in touch. xx
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Re: Re: Jeffrey Morris
Everything on this page is a crap lot of childish muck. Any one reading it laugth at the brown stains they call news. Now then Carla the water at the moment is a slow burn, but we are pushing, so that's how it is. Going up at least and not down. I would say steady and comfortable. I shall be in touch. xx
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Re: Re: Re: Jeffrey Morris
And long may the King live!!
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Job
Hate hearing you are on all sorts of medication including strong anti depressants. Hearing you've lost your confidence and you are scared to leave your pit is equally upsetting.
Please join this website and apply for some job.
http://www.leedsjobstoday.co.uk/
You may have to start part-time cleaning toilets or if you are really lucky they may have an opening for an auxiliary nurse. Both would suit you although public toilet cleaning would be a better fit.
Just trying to help.
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Jeffrey Morris
Hahahahaha
What has happened to im jack
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Jeffrey Morris
Please reply.
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Kat.
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4
The amount of BANCRUPTCY petitions issued against Jeffrey Morris
The amount of millions that Jeffrey Morris owes.
The amount of people who used to like Jeffrey Morris
The total quantity of Jeffrey Morris' brain cells
The years Jeffrey Morris was barred from entering the USA foe erroneous share trades?
The length of time in took Jeffrey Morris to go through £40m - YES, THAT'S FORTY MILLION POUNDS.
The cumulative amount of hours Jeffrey Morris has worked in his life.
The amount of times Jeffrey Morris has been the recipient of anal sex.
If non of the above then I don't know.
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JEFFREY MORRIS - A Google Star
Type "JEFFREY MORRIS" into Google.
THIS BLOG IS NUMBER EIGHT AND IS GIRMLY ON THE FIRST PAGE.
IF HE HAD AND CREDIBILITY REMAINING (DON'T WORRY, HE DIDN'T) THEN IT'S ALL GONE NOW.
EVERYONE SHOULD BE PROUD, WELL DONE.
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Jeffrey Morris
Edugeek Limited has published comments defamatory of Mr Jeffrey Morris and his business Bees In Action on this …
One the face of it it's not really an apology. The next one of course is the great Techdirt blog.
I'd like to thank, amongst others, the moron who has been writing the cryptic messages for contributing to the notoriety and popularity of this post.
Morris thought he was Lord Sugaresque but in actual fact he would struggle to be a contestant on his show.
The liar is a complete failure but let's keep contributing to this blog and see if we can move up the charts.
Keep reading Jeffrey Morris as there are very few inaccuracies on this chat and you are about as powerless as a flea.
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Kat. Youv'e met the man you should know.
Nothing, not about Mr Morris the shite comments, nothing. This is seperate. This is a seed thats just happened to get hold between Good Fellow and Bennet.
Hope to see you soon, and if you join good luck!!
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I wonder.....
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I worked for JM at Minorplanet for 18 months and thankfully had limited direct reporting, but I witnesses people treated dreadfully.
My 'shafting' at his hands was my line manager offering me a new role, more responsibility, more work, longer hours, more money, the immediate affect....
3 months later, the responsibility, work and hours were all there, but no money. "It will be back dated, don't worry". I even got a letter proving the wage rise was in process to support a mortgage application.
Another 3 months pass (6 months on the reduced rate) and I eventually get my pay rise signed off.... with the amount revised down by £500 and the start date with a line through it and revised to the date of sign off. Mr Morris' signature proudly scrawled beside it. Thank you very much...
I don't know the details of what has happened to him recently but given what I saw and heard people going through in my time there and the culture he created, particularly at 'Sunday Sales Meetings', I really have no sympathy at all. I escaped relatively unscathed but I now many others who didn't.
If whatever it is is really bad, then I can say with smugness that it's given me a warm feeling.
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The End
The only people wanting Jeffrey Morris to sign financial related forms these days are liquidators, debt collectors and bailiffs, I'm delighted to say.
The warm feeling you describe is being felt by many hundreds that suffered as a result of Jeffrey Morris's evil ways.
You mention Sunday meetings - that is how manipulative the slime ball was.
Well, it's all come back on him now and he has no chance of ever starting a business again let alone satisfying his outrageous debts.
We should raise a glass or two and toast his almighty fall from his perch. Let's face it, to all intents and purposes he's always been a nothing in most peoples eyes.
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Kat. Youv'e met the man you should know.
I'm interested. Is XX in Leeds?
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Water.
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Kat. Youv'e met the man you should know.
I'm interested. Is XX in Leeds?
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Jeffrey Morris
It is having an amazing effect on everything to do with Jeffrey Morris.
Also if someone has a recent picture of him looking more disgusting than he previously did then please post it online.
Everything has gone wrong for this hateful character and it cant get much worse for him but be assured - we are still providing information to the relevant authorities and they are incredibly receptive. In fact one of my former colleagues was recently corporately entertained on the back of providing some information
As far as you business life is concerned Jeffrey Morris - IT'S OVER.
I HEARD JEFFREY MORRIS AND HIS BAGGAGE ARE GOING TO SCARBOROUGH FOR THEIR SUMMER HOLIDAYS.
HAHAHAHAHA
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So much for thinking he can walk on water. It is clear he can't swim in a storm.
I am pleased with what I'm reading and only hope it's true. I found out about this through my gardener and I live in...hmmmm....north of Harrogate. . Indicates the power of this blog.
FORWARD IT TO ALL YOUR MATES ESPECIALLY ONES WITH CONNECTIONS TO JEFFREY MORRIS AND ALSO POST LINKS ON FACEBOOK AND TWITTER.
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Isnt it time to let sleeping dogs lie? :-)
I used to kind of respect his no nonsense attitude, his love of the extravagant, nice cars, great bonuses, great technology (at the beginning), good people. good times...etc etc...
Id be really interested in knowing if he's still employing the same underhand practises with his current staff? Does he have any staff anymore? whats happened to Beesinaction? Gone?
I'd advise those that are still chasing a few grand from him to just put it down to experience and move on. Its obvious those fellas writing in ridiculous prose above are still attached to him in some way... the biggest surprise to me at the end was that he REALLY doesnt know what he's doing!! He made a load of dough but it seems the lions share is all but gone.
I worked with several in that business that understood business more than him and certainly more than that hapless inner-circle of his. We know who they were/are.
Still its time to let go everyone.... move on like Maria and the others aggrieved have...wish him luck and just make sure you never work in a business or for a guy like that again. You'll know the signs.
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Move on up !
He is an absolute control freak - he is manipulative and knows exactly what he is doing.. he knows how to bring you right up then he knows how to kick you down to lower than you have ever been, only to bring you up again. This is how he manipulates everyone (including his family).
I got out when I nearly lost my home and my sanity - it took me a while to get over it as I kinda lost faith in mankind - how could someone who sits with his Rabbi on a Friday afternoon be one of the biggest liars and cheats around - did he feel that no matter who he destroyed Sat-Thurs all would be forgiven come Friday !!
Afraid it doesnt work like that 'ol pal' !! anyone who had any sense of decency has turned their back on you now and you have broken the laws of Halacha - cause you didnt ask my forgiveness... although I'm a better man than you and I unlike many others have given it ... why? cause I can walk down the street and hold my head up and not be scared of who is behind me !!! I have also moved on - and JM if you're reading this you deserve everything you get. You are not a businessman - you couldnt even sell fruit on a marketstall, those around you who knew something about business you should have just let them get on with it and there might still be a business there for you to drain dry! You taught me 2 excellent lessons 1) Dont trust a living soul other than yourself and 2) how NOT to run a businss..
Chin Chin ol chap - notice you dont go in Harrods much these days !!!
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Defenition
Jeffrey Morris is a poisonous, manipulative and repulsive form of life.
He makes all those that have had dealings with him absolutely despise him.
Interesting what you said Silver Lining about manipulating his family - I never thought of it like that but I think you are right.
I remember that little fat prick Morris saying how providing for his family was of primary importance. I imagine he now struggles to buy them underwear from Primark.
The reason people are still posting on here is because they know Jeffrey Morris reads this regularly and if that isn't enough incentive to post.............Also there are so many thousands reading this that the more we all write the wider the circulation becomes.
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Jeffrey Morris Scum
I will be back as soon as the stories about Jeffrey Morris Scum are verified to share with you all.
There are some incredible posts on this forum - some brilliant, intelligent contributors. Well done everyone. Sometimes the truth hurts
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Morris the loser
I am so pleased you are experiencing payback. I always dreamt of seeing it but never really thought I would.
You really are a pathetic and total waste of space.
No one really likes you. Almost everything written here is true.
If you have a double sided coin I'd have a little bet with you. From what I hear you can't win anything anymore. HURRAY!!!!
The can of worms is barely open!! I'm on a mission to ensure that not only does it open fully but that EVERYTHING crawls out of it you loser!!!
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This great forum has given those people the chance to document their actual experiences at the hands of Jeffrey Morris and tell all these thousands of readers just what Morris is like.
Jeffrey Morris is an evil and twisted crook who is in the process of being found out. There is ongoing litigation and impending investigations into his dealings and only then will the real truth become clear.
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Litigation
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Kat. Youv'e met the man you should know.
Please note myself nor anyone connected with me are in any way linked to any deflamertory posts about Mr Morris. I am in XX, on Tuesday evenings, 10 Manchester st Thurs pm, Fri pm team meetings.
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DOWN AND OUT
It is good to see that Morris' old office has now been repossessed and he has been forced to work from a boarded-up old warehouse. There is no smoke without fire so I assume his house will be going soon.
OH HOW THE MIGHTY DO FALL.
Its great to see Morris stripped of every penny & asset he ever owned and to see him embarrassed and scared to crawl out in public. No more Billy Big Shot anymore hey scum bag!
And for a those of you unsure who the genius is that writes the highly intelligent and cryptic posts - IT'S JEFFREY MORRIS.
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Jeffrey Morris
What the thick cunt failed to realise is that because people couldn't find him from just typing his name they actually typed "Jeffrey Morris Leeds" and guess what is number one - it's the Techdirt blog.
The amount of people who have been discussing it in Leeds, Manchester, London and further afield is verging on incredible. He has zero credibility and immense problems.
The aim of this blog was to tell the world all about Jeffrey Morris. I think that has been achieved. However, it would be nice for people to maintain there contributions to this thread.
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Kat. Youv'e met the man you should know.
I Like it, it was a rather dark evening we had sold 32 cases of water an hour earlier. 185 in total for the day. We drove to a lay by in Bootle to meey with Good Fellow. He seems rather fond of chocolate so he does, he threw a crumpled wrapper into his car and pulled from his top pocket a nice looking havana. As he lit it and let the smoke hang off every amusing if rather bizaar chit chat, I couldn't help but look him up and down.Don't ask me.... he just has that affect on you, he made me feel sexy. Water, water, water, thats all he talks about as he puts his arm around you, calls you darling and smiles endlessly. He leans back on the bonnet of his car grinning from ear to ear, joy spreading all around you, makes you feel warm.. no hot. He smells nice, good, exspensive. Dogs are barking and the night air is a little chilly Good Fellows shirt is undone a little more than it should be you can see his past lives, my eyes drop despite myself.. he's not wearing any pants. Champaign!! he shouts as I drift back to my sences. We indulge in a wonderfull evening. I like my job.
Bar XX. I am Nathon Proctor, I sell the water.
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The lying, sickening fraud that is called JEFFREY MORRIS
I know most will think I'm referring to Colonel Gadaffi but you would be mistaken - I AM REFERRING TO JEFFERY MORRIS.
MORRIS, I HOPE YOU DO NOT MEET A SIMILAR END TO GADAFFI. NO, I HOPE YOU LIVE TO A RIPE OLD AGE IN A CORRUGATED SHACK. LIVING TO REGRET THE WAY YOU ABUSED OTHERS AND ACCEPTING THAT EVERY DOG HAS IT'S DAY WITH YOU BEING NO EXCEPTION.
ITS A PICTURE OF BEAUTY KNOWING HOW YOU ARE CURRENTLY LIVING.
ITS ALSO GREAT TO SEE THIS THIS BLOG BEING HIT SO OFTEN THAT DESPITE YOUR ATTEMPTS IT'S BACK ON THE FRONT PAGE OF GOOGLE.
WELL DONE EVERYONE!
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Kat. Youv'e met the man you should know.
Now touching 800 cases per day, as well as touching our selves. May I take this moment to say how sexy you are. You are so hot, you smell nice..... still swaggering.
Carla xx
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I love this
Come to the US Morris and we will teach you all about justice. You sound like an evil little fuck and there is no way that everyone on here is dishonest. I just hope it's true that you have aged and look fat and stressed. Nervous breakdown yet?
GO TO HELL YOU CRIMINAL
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I was near Leeds market today when I saw a little fat being that resembled Jeffrey Morris asking for some handouts for a cup of tea.
I'm sure I heard him saying "if you don't give me some money you will get a letter from my sister". Luckily I didn't walk past him as I couldn't stand the stench.
What I do know is that thanks to old Jeffrey who used to ridicule and belittle me I moved on
and earned a fortune. Thanks Morris.
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Kat. Youv'e met the man you should know.
My team 700 to 800 per day, touching my self and any one else around me. Thank you Good Fellow.... it's now time to recruit some of your old team.So please get moving, dear sir.
Bye the way, I am up nor down.
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Kat. Youv'e met the man you should know.
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http://company-director-check.co.uk/director/901064842
Director Summary
Mr Jeffrey Clive Morris has 41 company director or secretary appointments.
Short name - Jeffrey Morris
Month/Year of Birth: 12/1958
(For security reasons we only show Month/Year)
Try our custom google search for: Mr Jeffrey Clive Morris
Custom Search
Address
57 Cardigan Lane
Leeds
West Yorkshire
United Kingdom
LS4 2LE
Company Summary
Company Name Company Status
TELLBROOK LIMITED In Liquidation
IMJACK SECURE COMMUNICATIONS LIMITED In Liquidation
WAMEY LIMITED Operating under Voluntary Arrangement
LETTAR LIMITED Active
ECLIPSE FILM PARTNERS NO. 17 LLP Active
DIAMOND SHAPE LIMITED Active
ORWELL FILMS LLP Active
HAK DIRECT LIMITED Active
EYE CANDY (UK) LIMITED Active
HAK PROPERTY LIMITED Active
POSITIVE CREATIONS (LEEDS) LIMITED Active
THE INVICTA FILM PARTNERSHIP NO.6, LLP Active
MORCO GROUP LIMITED Active
AUTOGAIN LIMITED Active
MORRIS & LEWIS (LEEDS) LIMITED Active
MORCO RETAIL LIMITED Active
HAK DEVELOPMENTS LIMITED Dissolved
HAK SERVICES LIMITED Dissolved
DAWCLIFFE LIMITED Dissolved
PAGERECALL LIMITED Dissolved
COUNTRYLARGE LIMITED Dissolved
AEROGLOSS LIMITED Dissolved
COMSTAR LIMITED Dissolved
BOLD PROPERTIES LIMITED Dissolved
GROWTHMARKET LIMITED Dissolved
MORCO EXTRA PROFIT LIMITED Dissolved
ATOMICEFFORT LIMITED Dissolved
SWEET STREET SECURITIES LIMITED Dissolved
MORCO SECURITIES LIMITED Dissolved
FILESPIN LIMITED Dissolved
MORCO INDUSTRIES LIMITED Dissolved
IMJACK PLC In Liquidation (Director Resigned)
DOGS B LIMITED Active (Director Resigned)
NOVCOM LIMITED Dissolved (Director Resigned)
MINORPLANET LIMITED In Liquidation (Director Resigned)
MINORPLANET SYSTEMS PLC In Administration (Director Resigned)
MINORPLANET SYSTEMS USA LIMITED Dissolved (Director Resigned)
MODEM NETWORK LIMITED Dissolved (Director Resigned)
CAREN (292) LIMITED Dissolved (Director Resigned)
TITANBASE LIMITED Dissolved (Director Resigned)
WAVERLEY SQUARE SECURITIES LIMITED Dissolved (Director Resigned)
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Re: http://company-director-check.co.uk/director/901064842
You're wasting you're time.
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SICK MORRIS MADNESS
Clearly you have learning difficulties. Its obvious by your spelling not to mention your inability to comprehend that a man who has been a director of no less than 41 limited companies of which all of them are either bankrupt, liquidated or have no money is indicative of a TOTAL FAILURE.
Not Addelstone or Morris' twisted sister can halt his fraudulent activity being publicised on this brilliant forum.
Well done Mr Masnick for allowing us to ensure this evil, corrupt little snake will never again have the ability to detrimentally affect the lives of innocent people both with and without families.
There have been many contributors within the 600+ posts and 95% of them paint an accurate picture of JEFFREY MORRIS.
The other 5% are written by a fool who thinks they deflect the facts by writing cryptic nonsense.
MORRIS MATE - YOU ARE A WASHED UP LOSER. THE ARMY SHOULD USE YOU AS AN IED DETECTOR.
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JEFFREY MORRIS FILES
HERE YOU WILL FIND THE EVIDENCE OF WHAT THIS EVIL C**T IS ALL ABOUT. JEFFREY MORRIS IS NOTHING BUT A FRAUD. IF IN ANY DOUBT PLEASE CLICK ON THE LINK. IT SHOWS THE CASH IN BANK OF EACH OF HIS ENTITIES AND GUESS WHAT - THE GRAND TOTAL IS ZERO.
Director Summary
Mr Jeffrey Clive Morris has 41 company director or secretary appointments.
Short name - Jeffrey Morris
Month/Year of Birth: 12/1958
(For security reasons we only show Month/Year)
Try our custom google search for: Mr Jeffrey Clive Morris
Custom Search
Address
57 Cardigan Lane
Leeds
West Yorkshire
United Kingdom
LS4 2LE
Company Summary
Company Name Company Status
TELLBROOK LIMITED In Liquidation
IMJACK SECURE COMMUNICATIONS LIMITED In Liquidation
WAMEY LIMITED Operating under Voluntary Arrangement
LETTAR LIMITED Active
ECLIPSE FILM PARTNERS NO. 17 LLP Active
DIAMOND SHAPE LIMITED Active
ORWELL FILMS LLP Active
HAK DIRECT LIMITED Active
EYE CANDY (UK) LIMITED Active
HAK PROPERTY LIMITED Active
POSITIVE CREATIONS (LEEDS) LIMITED Active
THE INVICTA FILM PARTNERSHIP NO.6, LLP Active
MORCO GROUP LIMITED Active
AUTOGAIN LIMITED Active
MORRIS & LEWIS (LEEDS) LIMITED Active
MORCO RETAIL LIMITED Active
HAK DEVELOPMENTS LIMITED Dissolved
HAK SERVICES LIMITED Dissolved
DAWCLIFFE LIMITED Dissolved
PAGERECALL LIMITED Dissolved
COUNTRYLARGE LIMITED Dissolved
AEROGLOSS LIMITED Dissolved
COMSTAR LIMITED Dissolved
BOLD PROPERTIES LIMITED Dissolved
GROWTHMARKET LIMITED Dissolved
MORCO EXTRA PROFIT LIMITED Dissolved
ATOMICEFFORT LIMITED Dissolved
SWEET STREET SECURITIES LIMITED Dissolved
MORCO SECURITIES LIMITED Dissolved
FILESPIN LIMITED Dissolved
MORCO INDUSTRIES LIMITED Dissolved
IMJACK PLC In Liquidation (Director Resigned)
DOGS B LIMITED Active (Director Resigned)
NOVCOM LIMITED Dissolved (Director Resigned)
MINORPLANET LIMITED In Liquidation (Director Resigned)
MINORPLANET SYSTEMS PLC In Administration (Director Resigned)
MINORPLANET SYSTEMS USA LIMITED Dissolved (Director Resigned)
MODEM NETWORK LIMITED Dissolved (Director Resigned)
CAREN (292) LIMITED Dissolved (Director Resigned)
TITANBASE LIMITED Dissolved (Director Resigned)
WAVERLEY SQUARE SECURITIES LIMITED Dissolved (Director Resigned)
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THE TALES OF WASHED-UP JEFFREY
HERE YOU WILL FIND THE EVIDENCE OF WHAT THIS EVIL C**T IS ALL ABOUT. JEFFREY MORRIS IS NOTHING BUT A FRAUD. IF IN ANY DOUBT PLEASE CLICK ON THE LINK. IT SHOWS THE CASH IN BANK OF EACH OF HIS ENTITIES AND GUESS WHAT - THE GRAND TOTAL IS ZERO.
Director Summary
Mr Jeffrey Clive Morris has 41 company director or secretary appointments.
Short name - Jeffrey Morris
Month/Year of Birth: 12/1958
(For security reasons we only show Month/Year)
Try our custom google search for: Mr Jeffrey Clive Morris
Custom Search
Address
57 Cardigan Lane
Leeds
West Yorkshire
United Kingdom
LS4 2LE
Company Summary
Company Name Company Status
TELLBROOK LIMITED In Liquidation
IMJACK SECURE COMMUNICATIONS LIMITED In Liquidation
WAMEY LIMITED Operating under Voluntary Arrangement
LETTAR LIMITED Active
ECLIPSE FILM PARTNERS NO. 17 LLP Active
DIAMOND SHAPE LIMITED Active
ORWELL FILMS LLP Active
HAK DIRECT LIMITED Active
EYE CANDY (UK) LIMITED Active
HAK PROPERTY LIMITED Active
POSITIVE CREATIONS (LEEDS) LIMITED Active
THE INVICTA FILM PARTNERSHIP NO.6, LLP Active
MORCO GROUP LIMITED Active
AUTOGAIN LIMITED Active
MORRIS & LEWIS (LEEDS) LIMITED Active
MORCO RETAIL LIMITED Active
HAK DEVELOPMENTS LIMITED Dissolved
HAK SERVICES LIMITED Dissolved
DAWCLIFFE LIMITED Dissolved
PAGERECALL LIMITED Dissolved
COUNTRYLARGE LIMITED Dissolved
AEROGLOSS LIMITED Dissolved
COMSTAR LIMITED Dissolved
BOLD PROPERTIES LIMITED Dissolved
GROWTHMARKET LIMITED Dissolved
MORCO EXTRA PROFIT LIMITED Dissolved
ATOMICEFFORT LIMITED Dissolved
SWEET STREET SECURITIES LIMITED Dissolved
MORCO SECURITIES LIMITED Dissolved
FILESPIN LIMITED Dissolved
MORCO INDUSTRIES LIMITED Dissolved
IMJACK PLC In Liquidation (Director Resigned)
DOGS B LIMITED Active (Director Resigned)
NOVCOM LIMITED Dissolved (Director Resigned)
MINORPLANET LIMITED In Liquidation (Director Resigned)
MINORPLANET SYSTEMS PLC In Administration (Director Resigned)
MINORPLANET SYSTEMS USA LIMITED Dissolved (Director Resigned)
MODEM NETWORK LIMITED Dissolved (Director Resigned)
CAREN (292) LIMITED Dissolved (Director Resigned)
TITANBASE LIMITED Dissolved (Director Resigned)
WAVERLEY SQUARE SECURITIES LIMITED Dissolved (Director Resigned)
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ACCESS TO HIS PERSONAL DETAILS
AT LEAST THOSE OF YOU THAT WANT TO CAN SEND HIM A CHRISTMAS CARD THAT WILL ARRIVE UNLESS THE RUMOURS ARE TRUE AND HE HAS BEEN EVICTED.
HA HA HA HA HA HA.
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THE JEFFREY MORRIS FACTFILE
HERE YOU WILL FIND THE EVIDENCE OF WHAT THIS EVIL C**T IS ALL ABOUT. JEFFREY MORRIS IS NOTHING BUT A FRAUD. IF IN ANY DOUBT PLEASE CLICK ON THE LINK. IT SHOWS THE CASH IN BANK OF EACH OF HIS ENTITIES AND GUESS WHAT - THE GRAND TOTAL IS ZERO.
Director Summary
Mr Jeffrey Clive Morris has 41 company director or secretary appointments.
Short name - Jeffrey Morris
Month/Year of Birth: 12/1958
(For security reasons we only show Month/Year)
Try our custom google search for: Mr Jeffrey Clive Morris
Custom Search
Address
57 Cardigan Lane
Leeds
West Yorkshire
United Kingdom
LS4 2LE
Company Summary
Company Name Company Status
TELLBROOK LIMITED In Liquidation
IMJACK SECURE COMMUNICATIONS LIMITED In Liquidation
WAMEY LIMITED Operating under Voluntary Arrangement
LETTAR LIMITED Active
ECLIPSE FILM PARTNERS NO. 17 LLP Active
DIAMOND SHAPE LIMITED Active
ORWELL FILMS LLP Active
HAK DIRECT LIMITED Active
EYE CANDY (UK) LIMITED Active
HAK PROPERTY LIMITED Active
POSITIVE CREATIONS (LEEDS) LIMITED Active
THE INVICTA FILM PARTNERSHIP NO.6, LLP Active
MORCO GROUP LIMITED Active
AUTOGAIN LIMITED Active
MORRIS & LEWIS (LEEDS) LIMITED Active
MORCO RETAIL LIMITED Active
HAK DEVELOPMENTS LIMITED Dissolved
HAK SERVICES LIMITED Dissolved
DAWCLIFFE LIMITED Dissolved
PAGERECALL LIMITED Dissolved
COUNTRYLARGE LIMITED Dissolved
AEROGLOSS LIMITED Dissolved
COMSTAR LIMITED Dissolved
BOLD PROPERTIES LIMITED Dissolved
GROWTHMARKET LIMITED Dissolved
MORCO EXTRA PROFIT LIMITED Dissolved
ATOMICEFFORT LIMITED Dissolved
SWEET STREET SECURITIES LIMITED Dissolved
MORCO SECURITIES LIMITED Dissolved
FILESPIN LIMITED Dissolved
MORCO INDUSTRIES LIMITED Dissolved
IMJACK PLC In Liquidation (Director Resigned)
DOGS B LIMITED Active (Director Resigned)
NOVCOM LIMITED Dissolved (Director Resigned)
MINORPLANET LIMITED In Liquidation (Director Resigned)
MINORPLANET SYSTEMS PLC In Administration (Director Resigned)
MINORPLANET SYSTEMS USA LIMITED Dissolved (Director Resigned)
MODEM NETWORK LIMITED Dissolved (Director Resigned)
CAREN (292) LIMITED Dissolved (Director Resigned)
TITANBASE LIMITED Dissolved (Director Resigned)
WAVERLEY SQUARE SECURITIES LIMITED Dissolved (Director Resigned)
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Referee!
The children, too, had not been able to sleep for hunger, and had heard what their step-mother had said to their father. Grettel wept bitterly and spoke to Hansel: “Now it’s all up with us.” “No, no, Grettel,” said Hansel, “don’t fret yourself; I’ll be able to find a way to escape, no fear.” And when the old people had fallen asleep he got up, slipped on his little coat, opened the back door and stole out. The moon was shining clearly, and the white pebbles which lay in front of the house glittered like bits of silver. Hansel bent down and filled his pocket with as many of them as he could cram in. Then he went back and said to Grettel: “Be comforted, my dear little sister, and go to sleep: God will not desert us”; and he lay down in bed again.
At daybreak, even before the sun was up, the woman came and woke the two children: “Get up, you lie-abeds, we’re all going to the forest to fetch wood.” She gave them each a bit of bread and said: “There’s something for your luncheon, but don’t you eat it up before, for it’s all you’ll get.” Grettel took the bread under her apron, as Hansel had the stones in his pocket. Then they all set out together on the way to the forest. After they had walked for a little, Hansel stood still and looked back at the house, and this maneuver he repeated again and again. His father observed him, and said: “Hansel, what are you gazing at there, and why do you always remain behind? Take care, and don’t lose your footing.” “Oh! father,” said Hansel, “I am looking back at my white kitten, which is sitting on the roof, waving me a farewell.” The woman exclaimed: “What a donkey you are! that isn’t your kitten, that’s the morning sun shining on the chimney.” But Hansel had not looked back at his kitten, but had always dropped one of the white pebbles out of his pocket on to the path.
When they had reached the middle of the forest the father said: “Now, children, go and fetch a lot of wood, and I’ll light a fire that you may not feel cold.” Hansel and Grettel heaped up brushwood till they had made a pile nearly the size of a small hill. The brushwood was set fire to, and when the flames leaped high the woman said: “Now lie down at the fire, children, and rest yourselves: we are going into the forest to cut down wood; when we’ve finished we’ll come back and fetch you.” Hansel and Grettel sat down beside the fire, and at midday ate their little bits of bread. They heard the strokes of the axe, so they thought their father was quite near. But it was no axe they heard, but a bough he had tied on a dead tree, and that was blown about by the wind. And when they had sat for a long time their eyes closed with fatigue, and they fell fast asleep. When they awoke at last it was pitch dark. Grettel began to cry, and said: “How are we ever to get out of the wood?” But Hansel comforted her. “Wait a bit,” he said, “till the moon is up, and then we’ll find our way sure enough.” And when the full moon had risen he took his sister by the hand and followed the pebbles, which shone like new threepenny bits, and showed them the path. They walked on through the night, and at daybreak reached their father’s house again. They knocked at the door, and when the woman opened it she exclaimed: “You naughty children, what a time you’ve slept in the wood! we thought you were never going to come back.” But the father rejoiced, for his conscience had reproached him for leaving his children behind by themselves.
Not long afterward there was again great dearth in the land, and the children heard their mother address their father thus in bed one night: “Everything is eaten up once more; we have only half a loaf in the house, and when that’s done it’s all up with us. The children must be got rid of; we’ll lead them deeper into the wood this time, so that they won’t be able to find their way out again. There is no other way of saving ourselves.” The man’s heart smote him heavily, and he thought: “Surely it would be better to share the last bite with one’s children!” But his wife wouldn’t listen to his arguments, and did nothing but scold and reproach him. If a man yields once he’s done for, and so, because he had given in the first time, he was forced to do so the second.
But the children were awake, and had heard the conversation. When the old people were asleep Hansel got up, and wanted to go out and pick up pebbles again, as he had done the first time; but the woman had barred the door, and Hansel couldn’t get out. But he consoled his little sister, and said: “Don’t cry, Grettel, and sleep peacefully, for God is sure to help us.”
At early dawn the woman came and made the children get up. They received their bit of bread, but it was even smaller than the time before. On the way to the wood Hansel crumbled it in his pocket, and every few minutes he stood still and dropped a crumb on the ground. “Hansel, what are you stopping and looking about you for?” said the father. “I’m looking back at my little pigeon, which is sitting on the roof waving me a farewell,” answered Hansel. “Fool!” said the wife; “that isn’t your pigeon, it’s the morning sun glittering on the chimney.” But Hansel gradually threw all his crumbs on the path. The woman led the children still deeper into the forest farther than they had ever been in their lives before. Then a big fire was lit again, and the mother said: “Just sit down there, children, and if you’re tired you can sleep a bit; we’re going into the forest to cut down wood, and in the evening when we’re finished we’ll come back to fetch you.” At midday Grettel divided her bread with Hansel, for he had strewn his all along their path. Then they fell asleep, and evening passed away, but nobody came to the poor children. They didn’t awake till it was pitch dark, and Hansel comforted his sister, saying: “Only wait, Grettel, till the moon rises, then we shall see the bread-crumbs I scattered along the path; they will show us the way back to the house.” When the moon appeared they got up, but they found no crumbs, for the thousands of birds that fly about the woods and fields had picked them all up. “Never mind,” said Hansel to Gret- tel; “you’ll see we’ll find a way out”; but all the same they did not. They wandered about the whole night, and the next day, from morning till evening, but they could not find a path out of the wood. They were very hungry, too, for they had nothing to eat but a few berries they found growing on the ground. And at last they were so tired that their legs refused to carry them any longer, so they lay down under a tree and fell fast asleep.
On the third morning after they had left their father’s house they set about their wandering again, but only got deeper and deeper into the wood, and now they felt that if help did not come to them soon they must perish. At midday they saw a beautiful little snow-white bird sitting on a branch, which sang so sweetly that they stopped still and listened to it. And when its song was finished it flapped its wings and flew on in front of them. They followed it and came to a little house, on the roof of which it perched; and when they came quite near they saw that the cottage was made of bread and roofed with cakes, while the window was made of transparent sugar. “Now we’ll set to,” said Hansel, “and have a regular blow-out.[1] I’ll eat a bit of the roof, and you, Grettel, can eat some of the window, which you’ll find a sweet morsel.” Hansel stretched up his hand and broke off a little bit of the roof to see what it was like, and Grettel went to the casement and began to nibble at it. Thereupon a shrill voice called out from the room inside:
“Nibble, nibble, little mouse, Who’s nibbling my house?”
The children answered:
“Tis Heaven’s own child, The tempest wild,”
and went on eating, without putting themselves about. Hansel, who thoroughly appreciated the roof, tore down a big bit of it, while Grettel pushed out a whole round window-pane, and sat down the better to enjoy it. Suddenly the door opened, and an ancient dame leaning on a staff hobbled out. Hansel and Grettel were so terrified that they let what they had in their hands fall. But the old woman shook her head and said: “Oh, ho! you dear children, who led you here? Just come in and stay with me, no ill shall befall you.” She took them both by the hand and let them into the house, and laid a most sumptuous dinner before them–milk and sugared pancakes, with apples and nuts. After they had finished, two beautiful little white beds were prepared for them, and when Hansel and Grettel lay down in them they felt as if they had got into heaven.
[1] He was a vulgar boy!
The old woman had appeared to be most friendly, but she was really an old witch who had waylaid the children, and had only built the little bread house in order to lure them in. When anyone came into her power she killed, cooked, and ate him, and held a regular feast-day for the occasion. Now witches have red eyes, and cannot see far, but, like beasts, they have a keen sense of smell, and know when human beings pass by. When Hansel and Grettel fell into her hands she laughed maliciously, and said jeeringly: “I’ve got them now; they sha’n't escape me.” Early in the morning, before the children were awake, she rose up, and when she saw them both sleeping so peacefully, with their round rosy cheeks, she muttered to herself: “That’ll be a dainty bite.” Then she seized Hansel with her bony hand and carried him into a little stable, and barred the door on him; he might scream as much as he liked, it did him no good. Then she went to Grettel, shook her till she awoke, and cried: “Get up, you lazy-bones, fetch water and cook something for your brother. When he’s fat I’ll eat him up.” Grettel began to cry bitterly, but it was of no use; she had to do what the wicked witch bade her.
So the best food was cooked for poor Hansel, but Grettel got nothing but crab-shells. Every morning the old woman hobbled out to the stable and cried: “Hansel, put out your finger, that I may feel if you are getting fat.” But Hansel always stretched out a bone, and the old dame, whose eyes were dim, couldn’t see it, and thinking always it was Hansel’s finger, wondered why he fattened so slowly. When four weeks had passed and Hansel still remained thin, she lost patience and determined to wait no longer. “Hi, Grettel,” she called to the girl, abe quick and get some water. Hansel may be fat or thin, I’m going to kill him to-morrow and cook him.” Oh! how the poor little sister sobbed as she carried the water, and how the tears rolled down her cheeks! “Kind heaven help us now!” she cried; “if only the wild beasts in the wood had eaten us, then at least we should have died together.” “Just hold your peace,” said the old hag; “it won’t help you.”
Early in the morning Grettel had to go out and hang up the kettle full of water, and light the fire. “First we’ll bake,” said the old dame; “I’ve heated the oven already and kneaded the dough.” She pushed Grettel out to the oven, from which fiery flames were already issuing. “Creep in,” said the witch, “and see if it’s properly heated, so that we can shove in the bread.” For when she had got Grettel in she meant to close the oven and let the girl bake, that she might eat her up too. But Grettel perceived her intention, and said: “I don’t know how I’m to do it; how do I get in?” “You silly goose!” said the hag, “the opening is big enough; see, I could get in myself,” and she crawled toward it, and poked her head into the oven. Then Grettel gave her a shove that sent her right in, shut the iron door, and drew the bolt. Gracious! how she yelled, it was quite horrible; but Grettel fled, and the wretched old woman was left to perish miserably.
Grettel flew straight to Hansel, opened the little stable- door, and cried: “Hansel, we are free; the old witch is dead.” Then Hansel sprang like a bird out of a cage when the door is opened. How they rejoiced, and fell on each other’s necks, and jumped for joy, and kissed one another! And as they had no longer any cause for fear, they went in the old hag’s house, and here they found, in every corner of the room, boxes with pearls and precious stones. “These are even better than pebbles,” said Hansel, and crammed his pockets full of them; and Grettel said: “I too will bring something home,” and she filled her apron full. “But now,” said Hansel, “let’s go and get well away from the witch’s wood.” When they had wandered about for some hours they came to a big lake. “We can’t get over,” said Hansel; “I see no bridge of any sort or kind.” “Yes, and there’s no ferry-boat either,” answered Grettel; “but look, there swims a white duck; if I ask her she’ll help us over,” and she called out:
“Here are two children, mournful very, Seeing neither bridge nor ferry; Take us upon your white back, And row us over, quack, quack!”
The duck swam toward them, and Hansel got on her back and bade his little sister sit beside him. “No,” answered Grettel, “we should be too heavy a load for the duck: she shall carry us across separately.” The good bird did this, and when they were landed safely on the other side, and had gone for a while, the wood became more and more familiar to them, and at length they saw their father’s house in the distance. Then they set off to run, and bounding into the room fell on their father’s neck. The man had not passed a happy hour since he left them in the wood, but the woman had died. Grettel shook out her apron so that the pearls and precious stones rolled about the room, and Hansel threw down one handful after the other out of his pocket. Thus all their troubles were ended, and they lived happily ever afterward.
Once upon a time there lived a cat of marvelous beauty, with a skin as soft and shining as silk, and wise green eyes, that could see even in the dark. His name was Gon, and he belonged to a music teacher, who was so fond and proud of him that he would not have parted with him for anything in the world.
Now not far from the music master’s house there dwelt a lady who possessed a most lovely little pussy cat called Koma. She was such a little dear altogether, and blinked her eyes so daintily, and ate her supper so tidily, and when she had finished she licked her pink nose so delicately with her little tongue, that her mistress was never tired of saying, ‘Koma, Koma, what should I do without you?’
Well, it happened one day that these two, when out for an evening stroll, met under a cherry tree, and in one moment fell madly in love with each other. Gon had long felt that it was time for him to find a wife, for all the ladies in the neighbourhood paid him so much attention that it made him quite shy; but he was not easy to please, and did not care about any of them. Now, before he had time to think, Cupid had entangled him in his net, and he was filled with love towards Koma. She fully returned his passion, but, like a woman, she saw the difficulties in the way, and consulted sadly with Gon as to the means of overcoming them. Gon entreated his master to set matters right by buying Koma, but her mistress would not part from her. Then the music master was asked to sell Gon to the lady, but he declined to listen to any such suggestion, so everything remained as before.
At length the love of the couple grew to such a pitch that they determined to please themselves, and to seek their fortunes together. So one moonlight night they stole away, and ventured out into an unknown world. All day long they marched bravely on through the sunshine, till they had left their homes far behind them, and towards evening they found themselves in a large park. The wanderers by this time were very hot and tired, and the grass looked very soft and inviting, and the trees cast cool deep shadows, when suddenly an ogre appeared in this Paradise, in the shape of a big, big dog! He came springing towards them showing all his teeth, and Koma shrieked, and rushed up a cherry tree. Gon, however, stood his ground boldly, and prepared to give battle, for he felt that Koma’s eyes were upon him, and that he must not run away. But, alas! his courage would have availed him nothing had his enemy once touched him, for he was large and powerful, and very fierce. From her perch in the tree Koma saw it all, and screamed with all her might, hoping that some one would hear, and come to help. Luckily a servant of the princess to whom the park belonged was walking by, and he drove off the dog, and picking up the trembling Gon in his arms, carried him to his mistress.
So poor little Koma was left alone, while Gon was borne away full of trouble, not in the least knowing what to do. Even the attention paid him by the princess, who was delighted with his beauty and pretty ways, did not console him, but there was no use in fighting against fate, and he could only wait and see what would turn up.
The princess, Gon’s new mistress, was so good and kind that everybody loved her, and she would have led a happy life, had it not been for a serpent who had fallen in love with her, and was constantly annoying her by his presence. Her servants had orders to drive him away as often as he appeared; but as they were careless, and the serpent very sly, it sometimes happened that he was able to slip past them, and to frighten the princess by appearing before her. One day she was seated in her room, playing on her favourite musical instrument, when she felt something gliding up her sash, and saw her enemy making his way to kiss her cheek. She shrieked and threw herself backwards, and Gon, who had been curled up on a stool at her feet, understood her terror, and with one bound seized the snake by his neck. He gave him one bite and one shake, and flung him on the ground, where he lay, never to worry the princess any more. Then she took Gon in her arms, and praised and caressed him, and saw that he had the nicest bits to eat, and the softest mats to lie on; and he would have had nothing in the world to wish for if only he could have seen Koma again.
Time passed on, and one morning Gon lay before the house door, basking in the sun. He looked lazily at the world stretched out before him, and saw in the distance a big ruffian of a cat teasing and ill-treating quite a little one. He jumped up, full of rage, and chased away the big cat, and then he turned to comfort the little one, when his heart nearly burst with joy to find that it was Koma. At first Koma did not know him again, he had grown so large and stately; but when it dawned upon her who it was, her happiness knew no bounds. And they rubbed their heads and their noses again and again, while their purring might have been heard a mile off.
Paw in paw they appeared before the princess, and told her the story of their life and its sorrows. The princess wept for sympathy, and promised that they should never more be parted, but should live with her to the end of their days. By-and-bye the princess herself got married, and brought a prince to dwell in the palace in the park. And she told him all about her two cats, and how brave Gon had been, and how he had delivered her from her enemy the serpent.
And when the prince heard, he swore they should never leave them, but should go with the princess wherever she went. So it all fell out as the princess wished; and Gon and Koma had many children, and so had the princess, and they all played together, and were friends to the end of their lives.
Once upon a time there were Three Bears, who lived together in a house of their own in a wood. One of them was a Little, Small, Wee Bear; and one was a Middle-sized Bear, and the other was a Great, Huge Bear. They had each a pot for their porridge, a little pot for the Little, Small, Wee Bear; and a middle-sized pot for the Middle Bear; and a great pot for the Great, Huge Bear. And they had each a chair to sit in; a little chair for the Little, Small, Wee Bear; and a middle-sized chair for the Middle Bear; and a great chair for the Great, Huge Bear. And they had each a bed to sleep in; a little bed for the Little, Small, Wee Bear; and a middle-sized bed for the Middle Bear; and a great bed for the Great, Huge Bear.
One day, after they had made the porridge for their breakfast, and poured it into their porridge-pots, they walked out into the wood while the porridge was cooling, that they might not burn their mouths by beginning too soon to eat it. And while they were walking, a little girl came into the house. This little girl golden curls that tumbled down her back to her waist, and everyone called her by Goldilocks. Goldilocks had been walking through the woods on the way to visit her grandmother, but she had taken a shortcut and lost her way. After wondering around the woods for a very long time, and starting to despair of ever see her grandmamma or her parents again, she came across a little house. She was very relieved, because she was certain that whoever lived in the house would help her. You see, she did not know that the house belonged to the Three Bears.
Goldilocks went up to the house and knocked on the door, but nobody answered. After a while, she looked through the window and saw the porridge on the table that the bears had made for their breakfast. She said to herself, “Oh how I wish I could eat some of that porridge! I’m so very hungry.”
Now perhaps Goldilocks should have waited till the bears came home, and then, perhaps, they would have asked her to breakfast; for they were good bears–a little rough or so, as the manner of bears is, but for all that very good-natured and hospitable. But Goldilocks did something rather naughty. She tried the latch on the door of the house and found that it was open – because you see the bears didn’t expect that anyone would come along and steal their porridge, and so they hadn’t bothered to lock the door of the house when they went out. Goldilocks went inside. First she tasted the porridge of the Great, Huge Bear, and that was too hot for her; And then she tasted the porridge of the Middle Bear; and that was too cold for her; and she. And then she went to the porridge of the Little, Small, Wee Bear, and tasted that; and that was neither too hot nor too cold, but just right; and she liked it so well, that she ate it all up.
Then the little Goldilocks sat down in the chair of the Great, Huge Bear, and that was too hard for her. And then she sat down in the chair of the Middle Bear, and that was too soft for her. And then she sat down in the chair of the Little, Small, Wee Bear, and that was neither too hard nor too soft, but just right. So she sat till the bottom of the chair came out, and down came she, plump upon the ground. And the naughty little girl laughed out loud.
Then Goldilocks went up stairs into the bed-chamber in which the three bears slept. And first she lay down upon the bed of the Great, Huge Bear; but that was too high at the head for her. And next she lay down upon the bed of the Middle Bear; and that was too high at the foot for her. And then she lay down upon the bed of the Little, Small, Wee Bear; and that was neither too high at the head, nor at the foot, but just right. So she covered herself up comfortably, and lay there till she fell fast asleep.
By this time the three bears thought their porridge would be cool enough; so they came home to breakfast. Now naughty Goldilocks had left the spoon of the Great, Huge Bear, standing in his porridge.
‘SOMEBODY HAS BEEN AT MY PORRIDGE!’
said the Great, Huge Bear, in his great gruff voice. And when the Middle Bear looked at his, he saw that the spoon was standing in it too. ‘Somebody Has Been At My Porridge!’ said the Middle Bear, in his middle voice.
Then the Little, Small, Wee Bear looked at his, and there was the spoon in the porridge-pot, but the porridge was all gone.
‘_Somebody has been at my porridge, and has eaten it all up_!’
said the Little, Small Wee Bear, in his little, small wee voice.
Upon this the three bears, seeing that some one had entered their house, and eaten up the Little, Small, Wee Bear’s breakfast, began to look about them. Now Goldilocks had not put the hard cushion straight when she rose from the chair of the Great, Huge Bear. ‘SOMEBODY HAS BEEN SITTING IN MY CHAIR!’ said the Great, Huge Bear, in his great, rough, gruff voice.
And the little girl had squished down the soft cushion of the Middle Bear.
‘Somebody Has Been Sitting In My Chair!’
said the Middle Bear, in his middle voice.
And you know what the naughty little girl had done to the third chair.
‘_Somebody has been sitting in my chair, and has sat the bottom of it out_!’ said the Little, Small, Wee Bear, in his little, small, wee voice.
Then the three bears thought that they should look the house more, so they went up stairs into their bed-room. Now Goldilocks had pulled the pillow of the Great, Huge Bear out of its place.
‘SOMEBODY HAS BEEN LYING IN MY BED!’
said the Great, Huge Bear, in his great, rough, gruff voice. And Goldilocks had pulled the bed cover of the Middle Bear out of its place
Kissa the Cat
Hello Everybody, my name’s natasha, and his Royal Highness Princee Bertie the frog has comanded me to tell you the Storynory of Kissa the Cat.
Now Prince Bertie the Frog is not too sure whether he likes cats. As you know, before Bertie became a frog, he used to be a handsome prince. The palace cat used to sit on his lap and purr, and in those days, he liked cats very much. But now he’s a frog, he has a rather different point of view. If you are frog, and you see a cat who is much bigger than you and has very sharp claws, you can get a little bit frightened, especially when it’s in the habbit of creeping silently up behind various birds and creatures, and jumping on them. But this Storynory is about a very nice cat called Kissa, and it’s from Andrew Lang’s Brown Fairy Book.
Once upon a time there lived a queen who had a beautiful cat, the colour of smoke, with china-blue eyes, which she was very fond of. The cat was constantly with her, and ran after her wherever she went, and even sat up proudly by her side when she drove out in her fine glass coach.
‘Oh, pussy,’ said the queen one day, ‘you are happier than I am! For you have a dear kitten just like yourself, and I have nobody to play with but you.’
‘Don’t cry,’ answered the cat, laying her paw on her mistress’s arm. ‘Crying never does any good. I will see what can be done.’
The cat was as good as her word. As soon as she returned from her drive she trotted off to the forest to consult a fairy who dwelt there, and very soon after the queen had a little girl, who seemed made out of snow and sunbeams, and she called her Princess Ingibjorg. The queen was delighted, and soon the baby began to take notice of Kissa the kitten as she jumped about the room, and would not go to sleep at all unless the kitten lay curled up beside her.
Two or three months went by, and though the baby was still a baby, the kitten was fast becoming a cat, and one evening when, as usual, the nurse came to look for her, to put her in the baby’s cot, she was nowhere to be found. What a hunt there was for that kitten, to be sure! The servants, each anxious to find her, as the queen was certain to reward the lucky man, searched in the most impossible places. Boxes were opened that would hardly have held the kitten’s paw; books were taken from bookshelves, lest the kitten should have got behind them, drawers were pulled out, for perhaps the kitten might have got shut in. But it was all no use. The kitten had plainly run away, and nobody could tell if it would ever choose to come back.
Years passed away, and one day, when the princess was playing ball in the garden, she happened to throw her ball farther than usual, and it fell into a clump of rose-bushes. The princess of course ran after it at once, and she was stooping down to feel if it was hidden in the long grass, when she heard a voice calling her: ‘Ingibjorg! Ingibjorg!’ it said, ‘have you forgotten me? I am Kisa, your sister!’
‘But I never had a sister,’ answered Ingibjorg, very much puzzled; for she knew nothing of what had taken place so long ago. How could she suspect that a little kitten was practically her sister?
‘Don’t you remember how I always slept in your cot beside you, and how you cried till I came? But girls have no memories at all! Why, I could find my way straight up to that cot this moment, if I was once inside the palace.’
‘Why did you go away then?’ asked the princess. But before Kisa could answer, the little Princess Ingibjorg’s attendents arrived breathless on the scene, and were so horrified at the sight of a strange cat, that Kisa plunged into the bushes and went back to the forest.
The princess was angry with her ladies-in-waiting for frightening away her old playfellow, and told the queen who came to her room every evening to bid her good-night.
‘Yes, it is quite true what Kissa said,’ answered the queen; ‘I should have liked to see her again. Perhaps, some day, she will return, and then you must bring her to me.’
Next morning it was very hot, and the princess declared that she must go and play in the forest, where it was always cool, under the big shady trees. As usual, her attendants let her do anything she pleased, and sitting down on a mossy bank where a little stream tinkled by, soon fell sound asleep. The princess saw with delight that they would pay no heed to her, and wandered on and on, expecting every moment to see some fairies dancing round a ring, or some little brown elves peeping at her from behind a tree. But, alas! she met none of these; instead, a horrible giant came out of his cave and ordered her to follow him. The princess felt much afraid, as he was so big and ugly, and began to be sorry that she had not stayed within reach of help; but as there was no use in disobeying the giant, she walked meekly behind.
They went a long way, and Princess Ingibjorg grew very tired, and at length began to cry.
‘I don’t like girls who make horrid noises,’ said the giant, turning round. ‘But if you want to cry, I will give you something to cry for.’ And
with those words he started to draw his axe from his belt. Ingibjorg became very frightened and started to run. Fortunately, although the giant was very big,and had long legs, he was also very fat, and he couldn’t run quickly. As Ingibjorg escaped, she lost her slippers that were embroidered with gold thread and studded with precious stones – for they were special slippers made for a princess. On she ran in her bare feet, which soon became very cut and full of thorns. She did not look round to see the giant stopping down to pick up her expensive slippers.
She ran into a part of the Forrest that was too thick and overgrown for him to find her, and finally she got away from that wicked giant, who would surely have killed her with his axe if he could have done. But now she was quite lost. How long it was since she had set out in the morning she could not tell–it seemed years to her. Her legs were cut by brambles and thorns and a wasp had stung her on the nose. Eventually she lay down and started to cry. Darkness came over, and she was shivering all night with cold. When she woke up, she was hungry and thirsty. “Now I shall surely die!” she said to herself.
When the sun was still high in the heavens when she heard the sound of wheels, and then, with a great effort, for her throat was parched with fright and pain, she gave a shout.
‘I am coming!’ was the answer; and in another moment a cart made its way through the trees, driven by Kisa, who used her tail as a whip to urge the horse to go faster. Directly Kissa saw Ingibjorg lying there, she jumped quickly down, and lifting the girl carefully in her two front paws, laid her upon some soft hay, and drove back to her own little hut.
In the corner of the room was a pile of cushions, and these Kissa arranged as a bed. Princess Ingibjorg, who by this time was nearly fainting from all she had gone through, drank greedily some milk, and then sank back on the cushions while Kisa fetched some dried herbs from a cupboard, soaked them in warm water and tended to her cuts and bruises. The pain vanished at once, and Ingibjorg looked up and smiled at Kisa.
‘You will go to sleep now,’ said the cat, ‘for you have a fever and must rest. You will not mind if I leave you for a little while. I will lock the door, and no one can hurt you.’ But before she had finished the princess was asleep. Then Kisa got into the cart, which was standing at the door, and catching up the reins, drove straight to the giant’s cave.
Leaving her cart behind some trees, Kissa crept gently up to the open door, and, crouching down, listened to what the giant was telling his wife, who was at supper with him.
‘The first day that I can spare I shall just go back and kill her,’ he said; ‘it would never do for people in the forest to know that a mere girl can defy me!’ And he and his wife were so busy calling Ingibjorg all sorts of names for her bad behaviour, that they never noticed Kisa stealing into a dark corner, and upsetting a whole bag of salt into the great pot before the fire. By-andBye The giant and giantess had the salty soup for their supper.
‘Dear me, how thirsty I am!’ cried the giant after supper. For the salt had made him so.
‘So am I,’ answered the wife. ‘I do wish I had not taken that last spoonful of broth; I am sure something was wrong with it.’
‘If I don’t get some water I shall die,’ went on the giant. And rushing out of the cave, followed by his wife, he ran down the path which led to the river.
Then Kissa entered the hut, and lost no time in searching every hole till she came upon some grass, under which Ingibjorg’s gold embroiderd slippers wer hidden, and putting them in her cart, drove back again to her own hut.
Ingibjorg was thankful to see her, for she had lain, too frightened to sleep, trembling at every noise.
‘Oh, is it you?’ she cried joyfully, as Kisa turned the key. And the cat came in, holding up the two neat litlte slippers.
“Now if you are feeling better, it is time to take you home,” said Kissa.
‘when the cat drove the cart up to the palace gate, lashing the horse furiously with her tail, and the king and queen saw their lost daughter sitting beside her, they declared that no reward could be too great for the person who had brought her out of the giant’s hands.
‘We will talk about that by-and-by,’ said the cat, as she made her best bow, and turned her horse’s head.
The princess was very unhappy when Kisa left her without even bidding her farewell. She would neither eat nor drink, nor take any notice of all the beautiful dresses her parents bought for her.
‘She will die, unless we can make her laugh,’ one whispered to the other. ‘Is there anything in the world that we have left untried?’
‘Nothing except marriage,’ answered the king. And he invited all the handsomest young men he could think of to the palace, and bade the princess choose a husband from among them.
It took her some time to decide which she admired the most, but at last she fixed upon a young prince, whose eyes were like the pools in the forest, and his hair of bright gold. The king and the queen were greatly pleased, as the young man was the son of a neighbouring king, and they gave orders that a splendid feast should be got ready.
When the marriage was over, Kissa suddenly stood before them, and Ingibjorg rushed forward and clasped her in her arms.
‘I have come to claim my reward,’ said the cat. ‘Let me sleep for this night at the foot of your bed.’
‘Is that all?’ asked Ingibjorg, much disappointed.
‘It is enough,’ answered the cat. And when the morning dawned, it was no cat that lay upon the bed, but a beautiful princess.
‘My mother and I were both put under an evil spell by a spiteful fairy,’ said she, ‘we could not free ourselves till we had done some kindly deed that had never been wrought before. My mother died without ever finding a chance of doing anything new, but I saved you from the forrest, and now am turned back into a princess.
Then they were all more delighted than before, and the princess lived in the court until she, too, married.
And that’s the Storynory, of Kissa the cat, who was really a princess. Bertie the frog likes this storynory because he once once a handsome prince. He hopes to turn back into a Royal person one day, just like Kissa the cat did. You can help him by listening to all his free Stories which you can find on Storynory.com. While you are there, you can also drop into Bertie’s online shop.
I’ll be back with another Storynory soon. Until then, from me, Natasha, Bye Bye!
IN the High and Far-Off Times the Elephant, O Best Beloved, had no trunk. He had only a blackish, bulgy nose, as big as a boot, that he could wriggle about from side to side; but he couldn’t pick up things with it. But there was one Elephant–a new Elephant–an Elephant’s Child–who was full of ‘satiable curtiosity, and that means he asked ever so many questions. And he lived in Africa, and he filled all Africa with his ‘satiable curtiosities. He asked his tall aunt, the Ostrich, why her tail-feathers grew just so, and his tall aunt the Ostrich spanked him with her hard, hard claw. He asked his tall uncle, the Giraffe, what made his skin spotty, and his tall uncle, the Giraffe, spanked him with his hard, hard hoof. And still he was full of ‘satiable curtiosity! He asked his broad aunt, the Hippopotamus, why her eyes were red, and his broad aunt, the Hippopotamus, spanked him with her broad, broad hoof; and he asked his hairy uncle, the Baboon, why melons tasted just so, and his hairy uncle, the Baboon, spanked him with his hairy, hairy paw. And still he was full of ‘satiable curtiosity! He asked questions about everything that he saw, or heard, or felt, or smelt, or touched, and all his uncles and his aunts spanked him. And still he was full of ‘satiable curtiosity!
One fine morning in the middle of the Precession of the Equinoxes this ‘satiable Elephant’s Child asked a new fine question that he had never asked before. He asked, ‘What does the Crocodile have for dinner?’ Then everybody said, ‘Hush!’ in a loud and dretful tone, and they spanked him immediately and directly, without stopping, for a long time.
By and by, when that was finished, he came upon Kolokolo Bird sitting in the middle of a wait-a-bit thorn-bush, and he said, ‘My father has spanked me, and my mother has spanked me; all my aunts and uncles have spanked me for my ‘satiable curtiosity; and still I want to know what the Crocodile has for dinner!’
Then Kolokolo Bird said, with a mournful cry, ‘Go to the banks of the great grey-green, greasy Limpopo River, all set about with fever-trees, and find out.’
That very next morning, when there was nothing left of the Equinoxes, because the Precession had preceded according to precedent, this ‘satiable Elephant’s Child took a hundred pounds of bananas (the little short red kind), and a hundred pounds of sugar-cane (the long purple kind), and seventeen melons (the greeny-crackly kind), and said to all his dear families, ‘Goodbye. I am going to the great grey-green, greasy Limpopo River, all set about with fever-trees, to find out what the Crocodile has for dinner.’ And they all spanked him once more for luck, though he asked them most politely to stop.
Then he went away, a little warm, but not at all astonished, eating melons, and throwing the rind about, because he could not pick it up.
He went from Graham’s Town to Kimberley, and from Kimberley to Khama’s Country, and from Khama’s Country he went east by north, eating melons all the time, till at last he came to the banks of the great grey-green, greasy Limpopo River, all set about with fever-trees, precisely as Kolokolo Bird had said.
Now you must know and understand, O Best Beloved, that till that very week, and day, and hour, and minute, this ‘satiable Elephant’s Child had never seen a Crocodile, and did not know what one was like. It was all his ‘satiable curtiosity.
The first thing that he found was a Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake curled round a rock.
”Scuse me,’ said the Elephant’s Child most politely, ‘but have you seen such a thing as a Crocodile in these promiscuous parts?’
‘Have I seen a Crocodile?’ said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake, in a voice of dretful scorn. ‘What will you ask me next?’
”Scuse me,’ said the Elephant’s Child, ‘but could you kindly tell me what he has for dinner?’
Then the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake uncoiled himself very quickly from the rock, and spanked the Elephant’s Child with his scalesome, flailsome tail.
‘That is odd,’ said the Elephant’s Child, ‘because my father and my mother, and my uncle and my aunt, not to mention my other aunt, the Hippopotamus, and my other uncle, the Baboon, have all spanked me for my ‘satiable curtiosity–and I suppose this is the same thing.
So he said good-bye very politely to the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake, and helped to coil him up on the rock again, and went on, a little warm, but not at all astonished, eating melons, and throwing the rind about, because he could not pick it up, till he trod on what he thought was a log of wood at the very edge of the great grey-green, greasy Limpopo River, all set about with fever-trees.
But it was really the Crocodile, O Best Beloved, and the Crocodile winked one eye–like this!
”Scuse me,’ said the Elephant’s Child most politely, ‘but do you happen to have seen a Crocodile in these promiscuous parts?’
Then the Crocodile winked the other eye, and lifted half his tail out of the mud; and the Elephant’s Child stepped back most politely, because he did not wish to be spanked again.
‘Come hither, Little One,’ said the Crocodile. ‘Why do you ask such things?’
”Scuse me,’ said the Elephant’s Child most politely, ‘but my father has spanked me, my mother has spanked me, not to mention my tall aunt, the Ostrich, and my tall uncle, the Giraffe, who can kick ever so hard, as well as my broad aunt, the Hippopotamus, and my hairy uncle, the Baboon, and including the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake, with the scalesome, flailsome tail, just up the bank, who spanks harder than any of them; and so, if it’s quite all the same to you, I don’t want to be spanked any more.’
‘Come hither, Little One,’ said the Crocodile, ‘for I am the Crocodile,’ and he wept crocodile-tears to show it was quite true.
Then the Elephant’s Child grew all breathless, and panted, and kneeled down on the bank and said, ‘You are the very person I have been looking for all these long days. Will you please tell me what you have for dinner?’
‘Come hither, Little One,’ said the Crocodile, ‘and I’ll whisper.’
Then the Elephant’s Child put his head down close to the Crocodile’s musky, tusky mouth, and the Crocodile caught him by his little nose, which up to that very week, day, hour, and minute, had been no bigger than a boot, though much more useful.
‘I think, said the Crocodile–and he said it between his teeth, like this–’I think to-day I will begin with Elephant’s Child!’
At this, O Best Beloved, the Elephant’s Child was much annoyed, and he said, speaking through his nose, like this, ‘Led go! You are hurtig be!’
Then the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake scuffled down from the bank and said, ‘My young friend, if you do not now, immediately and instantly, pull as hard as ever you can, it is my opinion that your acquaintance in the large-pattern leather ulster’ (and by this he meant the Crocodile) ‘will jerk you into yonder limpid stream before you can say Jack Robinson.’
This is the way Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snakes always talk.
Then the Elephant’s Child sat back on his little haunches, and pulled, and pulled, and pulled, and his nose began to stretch. And the Crocodile floundered into the water, making it all creamy with great sweeps of his tail, and he pulled, and pulled, and pulled.
And the Elephant’s Child’s nose kept on stretching; and the Elephant’s Child spread all his little four legs and pulled, and pulled, and pulled, and his nose kept on stretching; and the Crocodile threshed his tail like an oar, and he pulled, and pulled, and pulled, and at each pull the Elephant’s Child’s nose grew longer and longer–and it hurt him hijjus!
Then the Elephant’s Child felt his legs slipping, and he said through his nose, which was now nearly five feet long, ‘This is too butch for be!’
Then the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake came down from the bank, and knotted himself in a double-clove-hitch round the Elephant’s Child’s hind legs, and said, ‘Rash and inexperienced traveller, we will now seriously devote ourselves to a little high tension, because if we do not, it is my impression that yonder self-propelling man-of-war with the armour-plated upper deck’ (and by this, O Best Beloved, he meant the Crocodile), ‘will permanently vitiate your future career.
That is the way all Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snakes always talk.
So he pulled, and the Elephant’s Child pulled, and the Crocodile pulled; but the Elephant’s Child and the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake pulled hardest; and at last the Crocodile let go of the Elephant’s Child’s nose with a plop that you could hear all up and down the Limpopo.
Then the Elephant’s Child sat down most hard and sudden; but first he was careful to say ‘Thank you’ to the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake; and next he was kind to his poor pulled nose, and wrapped it all up in cool banana leaves, and hung it in the great grey-green, greasy Limpopo to cool.
‘What are you doing that for?’ said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake.
”Scuse me,’ said the Elephant’s Child, ‘but my nose is badly out of shape, and I am waiting for it to shrink.
‘Then you will have to wait a long time, said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake. ‘Some people do not know what is good for them.’
The Elephant’s Child sat there for three days waiting for his nose to shrink. But it never grew any shorter, and, besides, it made him squint. For, O Best Beloved, you will see and understand that the Crocodile had pulled it out into a really truly trunk same as all Elephants have to-day.
At the end of the third day a fly came and stung him on the shoulder, and before he knew what he was doing he lifted up his trunk and hit that fly dead with the end of it.
”Vantage number one!’ said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake. ‘You couldn’t have done that with a mere-smear nose. Try and eat a little now.’
Before he thought what he was doing the Elephant’s Child put out his trunk and plucked a large bundle of grass, dusted it clean against his fore-legs, and stuffed it into his own mouth.
‘Vantage number two!’ said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake. ‘You couldn’t have done that with a mear-smear nose. Don’t you think the sun is very hot here?’
‘It is,’ said the Elephant’s Child, and before he thought what he was doing he schlooped up a schloop of mud from the banks of the great grey-green, greasy Limpopo, and slapped it on his head, where it made a cool schloopy-sloshy mud-cap all trickly behind his ears.
‘Vantage number three!’ said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake. ‘You couldn’t have done that with a mere-smear nose. Now how do you feel about being spanked again?’
”Scuse me,’ said the Elephant’s Child, ‘but I should not like it at all.’
‘How would you like to spank somebody?’ said the Bi- Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake.
‘I should like it very much indeed,’ said the Elephant’s Child.
‘Well,’ said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake, ‘you will find that new nose of yours very useful to spank people with.’
‘Thank you,’ said the Elephant’s Child, ‘I’ll remember that; and now I think I’ll go home to all my dear families and try.’
So the Elephant’s Child went home across Africa frisking and whisking his trunk. When he wanted fruit to eat he pulled fruit down from a tree, instead of waiting for it to fall as he used to do. When he wanted grass he plucked grass up from the ground, instead of going on his knees as he used to do. When the flies bit him he broke off the branch of a tree and used it as fly-whisk; and he made himself a new, cool, slushy-squshy mud-cap whenever the sun was hot. When he felt lonely walking through Africa he sang to himself down his trunk, and the noise was louder than several brass bands.
He went especially out of his way to find a broad Hippopotamus (she was no relation of his), and he spanked her very hard, to make sure that the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake had spoken the truth about his new trunk. The rest of the time he picked up the melon rinds that he had dropped on his way to the Limpopo–for he was a Tidy Pachyderm.
One dark evening he came back to all his dear families, and he coiled up his trunk and said, ‘How do you do?’ They were very glad to see him, and immediately said, ‘Come here and be spanked for your ‘satiable curtiosity.’
‘Pooh,’ said the Elephant’s Child. ‘I don’t think you peoples know anything about spanking; but I do, and I’ll show you.’ Then he uncurled his trunk and knocked two of his dear brothers head over heels.
‘O Bananas!’ said they, ‘where did you learn that trick, and what have you done to your nose?’
‘I got a new one from the Crocodile on the banks of the great grey-green, greasy Limpopo River,’ said the Elephant’s Child. ‘I asked him what he had for dinner, and he gave me this to keep.’
‘It looks very ugly,’ said his hairy uncle, the Baboon.
‘It does,’ said the Elephant’s Child. ‘But it’s very useful,’ and he picked up his hairy uncle, the Baboon, by one hairy leg, and hove him into a hornet’s nest.
Then that bad Elephant’s Child spanked all his dear families for a long time, till they were very warm and greatly astonished. He pulled out his tall Ostrich aunt’s tail-feathers; and he caught his tall uncle, the Giraffe, by the hind-leg, and dragged him through a thorn-bush; and he shouted at his broad aunt, the Hippopotamus, and blew bubbles into her ear when she was sleeping in the water after meals; but he never let any one touch Kolokolo Bird.
At last things grew so exciting that his dear families went off one by one in a hurry to the banks of the great grey-green, greasy Limpopo River, all set about with fever-trees, to borrow new noses from the Crocodile. When they came back nobody spanked anybody any more; and ever since that day, O Best Beloved, all the Elephants you will ever see, besides all those that you won’t, have trunks precisely like the trunk of the ‘satiable Elephant’s Child.
There was once a merchant who was so rich that he could have paved the whole street, and perhaps even a little side-street besides, with silver. But he did not do that; he knew another way of spending his money. If he spent a shilling he got back a florin-such an excellent merchant he was till he died.
Now his son inherited all this money. He lived very merrily; he went every night to the theatre, made paper kites out of five-pound notes, and played ducks and drakes with sovereigns instead of stones. In this way the money was likely to come soon to an end, and so it did.
At last he had nothing left but four shillings, and he had no clothes except a pair of slippers and an old dressing-gown.
His friends did not trouble themselves any more about him; they would not even walk down the street with him.
But one of them who was rather good-natured sent him an old trunk with the message, ‘Pack up!” That was all very well, but he had nothing to pack up, so he got into the trunk himself.
It was an enchanted trunk, for as soon as the lock was pressed it could fly. He pressed it, and away he flew in it up the chimney, high into the clouds, further and further away. But whenever the bottom gave a little creak he was in terror lest the trunk should go to pieces, for then he would have turned a dreadful somersault-just think of it!
In this way he arrived at the land of the Turks. He hid the trunk in a wood under some dry leaves, and then walked into the town. He could do that quite well, for all the Turks were dressed just as he was-in a dressing-gown and slippers.
He met a nurse with a little child.
‘Halloa! you Turkish nurse,’ said he, ‘what is that great castle there close to the town? The one with the windows so high up?’
‘The sultan’s daughter lives there,’ she replied. ‘It is prophesied that she will be very unlucky in her husband, and so no one is allowed to see her except when the sultan and sultana are by.’
‘Thank you,’ said the merchant’s son, and he went into the wood, sat himself in his trunk, flew on to the roof, and crept through the window into the princess’s room.
She was lying on the sofa asleep, and was so beautiful that the young merchant had to kiss her. Then she woke up and was very much frightened, but he said he was a Turkish god who had come through the air to see her, and that pleased her very much.
They sat close to each other, and he told her a story about her eyes. They were beautiful dark lakes in which her thoughts swam about like mermaids. And her forehead was a snowy mountain, grand and shining. These were lovely stories.
Then he asked the princess to marry him, and she said yes at once.
‘But you must come here on Saturday,’ she said, ‘for then the sultan and the sultana are coming to tea with me. They will be indeed proud that I receive the god of the Turks. But mind you have a really good story ready, for my parents like them immensely. My mother likes something rather moral and high-flown, and my father likes something merry to make him laugh.’
‘Yes, I shall only bring a fairy story for my dowry,’ said he, and so they parted. But the princess gave him a sabre set with gold pieces which he could use.
Then he flew away, bought himself a new dressing-gown, and sat down in the wood and began to make up a story, for it had to be ready by Saturday, and that was no easy matter.
When he had it ready it was Saturday.
The sultan, the sultana, and the whole court were at tea with the princess.
He was most graciously received.
‘Will you tell us a story?’ said the sultana; ‘one that is thoughtful and instructive?’
‘But something that we can laugh at,’ said the sultan.
‘Oh, certainly,’ he replied, and began: ‘Now, listen attentively. There was once a box of matches which lay between a tinder-box and an old iron pot, and they told the story of their youth.
‘”We used to be on the green fir-boughs. Every morning and evening we had diamond-tea, which was the dew, and the whole day long we had sunshine, and the little birds used to tell us stories. We were very rich, because the other trees only dressed in summer, but we had green dresses in summer and in winter. Then the woodcutter came, and our family was split up. We have now the task of making light for the lowest people. That is why we grand people are in the kitchen.”
‘”My fate was quite different,” said the iron pot, near which the matches lay.
‘”Since I came into the world I have been many times scoured, and have cooked much. My only pleasure is to have a good chat with my companions when I am lying nice and clean in my place after dinner.”
‘”Now you are talking too fast,” spluttered the fire.
‘”Yes, let us decide who is the grandest!” said the matches.
‘”No, I don’t like talking about myself,” said the pot.
‘”Let us arrange an evening’s entertainment. I will tell the story of my life.
‘”On the Baltic by the Danish shore-”
‘What a beautiful beginning!” said all the plates. “That’s a story that will please us all.”
‘And the end was just as good as the beginning. All the plates clattered for joy.
‘”Now I will dance,” said the tongs, and she danced. Oh! how high she could kick!
‘The old chair-cover in the corner split when he saw her.
‘The urn would have sung but she said she had a cold; she could not sing unless she boiled.
‘In the window was an old quill pen. There was nothing remarkable about her except that she had been dipped too deeply into the ink. But she was very proud of that.
‘”If the urn will not sing,” said she, “outside the door hangs a nightingale in a cage who will sing.”
‘”I don’t think it’s proper,” said the kettle, “that such a foreign bird should be heard.”
‘”Oh, let us have some acting,” said everyone. “Do let us!”
‘Suddenly the door opened and the maid came in. Everyone was quite quiet. There was not a sound. But each pot knew what he might have done, and how grand he was.
‘The maid took the matches and lit the fire with them. How they spluttered and flamed, to be sure! “Now everyone can see,” they thought, “that we are the grandest! How we sparkle! What a light-”
‘But here they were burnt out.’
‘That was a delightful story!’ said the sultana. ‘I quite feel myself in the kitchen with the matches. Yes, now you shall marry our daughter.’
‘Yes, indeed,’ said the sultan, ‘you shall marry our daughter on Monday.’ And they treated the young man as one of the family.
The wedding was arranged, and the night before the whole town was illuminated.
Biscuits and gingerbreads were thrown among the people, the street boys stood on tiptoe crying hurrahs and whistling through their fingers. It was all splendid.
‘Now I must also give them a treat,’ thought the merchant’s son. And so he bought rockets, crackers, and all the kinds of fireworks you can think of, put them in his trunk, and flew up with them into the air.
Whirr-r-r, how they fizzed and blazed!
All the Turks jumped so high that their slippers flew above their heads; such a splendid glitter they had never seen before.
Now they could quite well understand that it was the god of the Turks himself who was to marry the princess.
As soon as the young merchant came down again into the wood with his trunk he thought, ‘Now I will just go into the town to see how the show has taken.’
And it was quite natural that he should want to do this.
Oh! what stories the people had to tell!
Each one whom he asked had seen it differently, but they had all found it beautiful.
‘I saw the Turkish god himself,’ said one. ‘He had eyes like glittering stars, and a beard like foaming water.’
‘He flew away in a cloak of fire,’ said another. They were splendid things that he heard, and the next day was to be his wedding day.
Then he went back into the wood to sit in his trunk; but what had become of it? The trunk had been burnt. A spark of the fireworks had set it alight, and the trunk was in ashes. He could no longer fly, and could never reach his bride.
She stood the whole day long on the roof and waited; perhaps she is waiting there still.
But he wandered through the world and told stories; though they are not so merry as the one he told about the matches.
IN a town in Persia there dwelt two brothers, one named Cassim, the other Ali Baba. Cassim was married to a rich wife and lived in plenty, while Ali Baba had to maintain his wife and children by cutting wood in a neighboring forest and selling it in the town. One day, when Ali Baba was in the forest, he saw a troop of men on horseback, coming toward him in a cloud of dust. He was afraid they were robbers, and climbed into a tree for safety. When they came up to him and dismounted, he counted forty of them. They unbridled their horses and tied them to trees. The finest man among them, whom Ali Baba took to be their captain, went a little way among some bushes, and said: “Open, Sesame!”[1] so plainly that Ali Baba heard him. A door opened in the rocks, and having made the troop go in, he followed them, and the door shut again of itself. They stayed some time inside, and Ali Baba, fearing they might come out and catch him, was forced to sit patiently in the tree. At last the door opened again, and the Forty Thieves came out. As the Captain went in last he came out first, and made them all pass by him; he then closed the door, saying: “Shut, Sesame!” Every man bridled his horse and mounted, the Captain put himself at their head, and they returned as they came.
Then Ali Baba climbed down and went to the door concealed among the bushes, and said: “Open, Sesame!” and it flew open. Ali Baba, who expected a dull, dismal place, was greatly surprised to find it large and well lighted, hollowed by the hand of man in the form of a vault, which received the light from an opening in the ceiling. He saw rich bales of merchandise–silk, stuff-brocades, all piled together, and gold and silver in heaps, and money in leather purses. He went in and the door shut behind him. He did not look at the silver, but brought out as many bags of gold as he thought his asses, which were browsing outside, could carry, loaded them with the bags, and hid it all with fagots. Using the words: “Shut, Sesame!” he closed the door and went home.
Then he drove his asses into the yard, shut the gates, carried the money-bags to his wife, and emptied them out before her. He bade her keep the secret, and he would go and bury the gold. “Let me first measure it,” said his wife. “I will go borrow a measure of someone, while you dig the hole.” So she ran to the wife of Cassim and borrowed a measure. Knowing Ali Baba’s poverty, the sister was curious to find out what sort of grain his wife wished to measure, and artfully put some suet at the bottom of the measure. Ali Baba’s wife went home and set the measure on the heap of gold, and filled it and emptied it often, to her great content. She then carried it back to her sister, without noticing that a piece of gold was sticking to it, which Cassim’s wife perceived directly her back was turned. She grew very curious, and said to Cassim when he came home: “Cassim, your brother is richer than you. He does not count his money, he measures it.” He begged her to explain this riddle, which she did by showing him the piece of money and telling him where she found it. Then Cassim grew so envious that he could not sleep, and went to his brother in the morning before sunrise. “Ali Baba,” he said, showing him the gold piece, “you pretend to be poor and yet you measure gold.” By this Ali Baba perceived that through his wife’s folly Cassim and his wife knew their secret, so he confessed all and offered Cassim a share. “That I expect,” said Cassim; “but I must know where to find the treasure, otherwise I will discover all, and you will lose all.” Ali Baba, more out of kindness than fear, told him of the cave, and the very words to use. Cassim left Ali Baba, meaning to be beforehand with him and get the treasure for himself. He rose early next morning, and set out with ten mules loaded with great chests. He soon found the place, and the door in the rock. He said: “Open, Sesame!” and the door opened and shut behind him. He could have feasted his eyes all day on the treasures, but he now hastened to gather together as much of it as possible; but when he was ready to go he could not remember what to say for thinking of his
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THANK YOU MR MASNICK
TECHDIRT RULES!!!!
MORRIS IS JUST A POWERLESS AND OVERSIZED LUMP OF NOTHING.
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Why So much Toffee
The children, too, had not been able to sleep for hunger, and had heard what their step-mother had said to their father. Grettel wept bitterly and spoke to Hansel: “Now it’s all up with us.” “No, no, Grettel,” said Hansel, “don’t fret yourself; I’ll be able to find a way to escape, no fear.” And when the old people had fallen asleep he got up, slipped on his little coat, opened the back door and stole out. The moon was shining clearly, and the white pebbles which lay in front of the house glittered like bits of silver. Hansel bent down and filled his pocket with as many of them as he could cram in. Then he went back and said to Grettel: “Be comforted, my dear little sister, and go to sleep: God will not desert us”; and he lay down in bed again.
At daybreak, even before the sun was up, the woman came and woke the two children: “Get up, you lie-abeds, we’re all going to the forest to fetch wood.” She gave them each a bit of bread and said: “There’s something for your luncheon, but don’t you eat it up before, for it’s all you’ll get.” Grettel took the bread under her apron, as Hansel had the stones in his pocket. Then they all set out together on the way to the forest. After they had walked for a little, Hansel stood still and looked back at the house, and this maneuver he repeated again and again. His father observed him, and said: “Hansel, what are you gazing at there, and why do you always remain behind? Take care, and don’t lose your footing.” “Oh! father,” said Hansel, “I am looking back at my white kitten, which is sitting on the roof, waving me a farewell.” The woman exclaimed: “What a donkey you are! that isn’t your kitten, that’s the morning sun shining on the chimney.” But Hansel had not looked back at his kitten, but had always dropped one of the white pebbles out of his pocket on to the path.
When they had reached the middle of the forest the father said: “Now, children, go and fetch a lot of wood, and I’ll light a fire that you may not feel cold.” Hansel and Grettel heaped up brushwood till they had made a pile nearly the size of a small hill. The brushwood was set fire to, and when the flames leaped high the woman said: “Now lie down at the fire, children, and rest yourselves: we are going into the forest to cut down wood; when we’ve finished we’ll come back and fetch you.” Hansel and Grettel sat down beside the fire, and at midday ate their little bits of bread. They heard the strokes of the axe, so they thought their father was quite near. But it was no axe they heard, but a bough he had tied on a dead tree, and that was blown about by the wind. And when they had sat for a long time their eyes closed with fatigue, and they fell fast asleep. When they awoke at last it was pitch dark. Grettel began to cry, and said: “How are we ever to get out of the wood?” But Hansel comforted her. “Wait a bit,” he said, “till the moon is up, and then we’ll find our way sure enough.” And when the full moon had risen he took his sister by the hand and followed the pebbles, which shone like new threepenny bits, and showed them the path. They walked on through the night, and at daybreak reached their father’s house again. They knocked at the door, and when the woman opened it she exclaimed: “You naughty children, what a time you’ve slept in the wood! we thought you were never going to come back.” But the father rejoiced, for his conscience had reproached him for leaving his children behind by themselves.
Not long afterward there was again great dearth in the land, and the children heard their mother address their father thus in bed one night: “Everything is eaten up once more; we have only half a loaf in the house, and when that’s done it’s all up with us. The children must be got rid of; we’ll lead them deeper into the wood this time, so that they won’t be able to find their way out again. There is no other way of saving ourselves.” The man’s heart smote him heavily, and he thought: “Surely it would be better to share the last bite with one’s children!” But his wife wouldn’t listen to his arguments, and did nothing but scold and reproach him. If a man yields once he’s done for, and so, because he had given in the first time, he was forced to do so the second.
But the children were awake, and had heard the conversation. When the old people were asleep Hansel got up, and wanted to go out and pick up pebbles again, as he had done the first time; but the woman had barred the door, and Hansel couldn’t get out. But he consoled his little sister, and said: “Don’t cry, Grettel, and sleep peacefully, for God is sure to help us.”
At early dawn the woman came and made the children get up. They received their bit of bread, but it was even smaller than the time before. On the way to the wood Hansel crumbled it in his pocket, and every few minutes he stood still and dropped a crumb on the ground. “Hansel, what are you stopping and looking about you for?” said the father. “I’m looking back at my little pigeon, which is sitting on the roof waving me a farewell,” answered Hansel. “Fool!” said the wife; “that isn’t your pigeon, it’s the morning sun glittering on the chimney.” But Hansel gradually threw all his crumbs on the path. The woman led the children still deeper into the forest farther than they had ever been in their lives before. Then a big fire was lit again, and the mother said: “Just sit down there, children, and if you’re tired you can sleep a bit; we’re going into the forest to cut down wood, and in the evening when we’re finished we’ll come back to fetch you.” At midday Grettel divided her bread with Hansel, for he had strewn his all along their path. Then they fell asleep, and evening passed away, but nobody came to the poor children. They didn’t awake till it was pitch dark, and Hansel comforted his sister, saying: “Only wait, Grettel, till the moon rises, then we shall see the bread-crumbs I scattered along the path; they will show us the way back to the house.” When the moon appeared they got up, but they found no crumbs, for the thousands of birds that fly about the woods and fields had picked them all up. “Never mind,” said Hansel to Gret- tel; “you’ll see we’ll find a way out”; but all the same they did not. They wandered about the whole night, and the next day, from morning till evening, but they could not find a path out of the wood. They were very hungry, too, for they had nothing to eat but a few berries they found growing on the ground. And at last they were so tired that their legs refused to carry them any longer, so they lay down under a tree and fell fast asleep.
On the third morning after they had left their father’s house they set about their wandering again, but only got deeper and deeper into the wood, and now they felt that if help did not come to them soon they must perish. At midday they saw a beautiful little snow-white bird sitting on a branch, which sang so sweetly that they stopped still and listened to it. And when its song was finished it flapped its wings and flew on in front of them. They followed it and came to a little house, on the roof of which it perched; and when they came quite near they saw that the cottage was made of bread and roofed with cakes, while the window was made of transparent sugar. “Now we’ll set to,” said Hansel, “and have a regular blow-out.[1] I’ll eat a bit of the roof, and you, Grettel, can eat some of the window, which you’ll find a sweet morsel.” Hansel stretched up his hand and broke off a little bit of the roof to see what it was like, and Grettel went to the casement and began to nibble at it. Thereupon a shrill voice called out from the room inside:
“Nibble, nibble, little mouse, Who’s nibbling my house?”
The children answered:
“Tis Heaven’s own child, The tempest wild,”
and went on eating, without putting themselves about. Hansel, who thoroughly appreciated the roof, tore down a big bit of it, while Grettel pushed out a whole round window-pane, and sat down the better to enjoy it. Suddenly the door opened, and an ancient dame leaning on a staff hobbled out. Hansel and Grettel were so terrified that they let what they had in their hands fall. But the old woman shook her head and said: “Oh, ho! you dear children, who led you here? Just come in and stay with me, no ill shall befall you.” She took them both by the hand and let them into the house, and laid a most sumptuous dinner before them–milk and sugared pancakes, with apples and nuts. After they had finished, two beautiful little white beds were prepared for them, and when Hansel and Grettel lay down in them they felt as if they had got into heaven.
[1] He was a vulgar boy!
The old woman had appeared to be most friendly, but she was really an old witch who had waylaid the children, and had only built the little bread house in order to lure them in. When anyone came into her power she killed, cooked, and ate him, and held a regular feast-day for the occasion. Now witches have red eyes, and cannot see far, but, like beasts, they have a keen sense of smell, and know when human beings pass by. When Hansel and Grettel fell into her hands she laughed maliciously, and said jeeringly: “I’ve got them now; they sha’n't escape me.” Early in the morning, before the children were awake, she rose up, and when she saw them both sleeping so peacefully, with their round rosy cheeks, she muttered to herself: “That’ll be a dainty bite.” Then she seized Hansel with her bony hand and carried him into a little stable, and barred the door on him; he might scream as much as he liked, it did him no good. Then she went to Grettel, shook her till she awoke, and cried: “Get up, you lazy-bones, fetch water and cook something for your brother. When he’s fat I’ll eat him up.” Grettel began to cry bitterly, but it was of no use; she had to do what the wicked witch bade her.
So the best food was cooked for poor Hansel, but Grettel got nothing but crab-shells. Every morning the old woman hobbled out to the stable and cried: “Hansel, put out your finger, that I may feel if you are getting fat.” But Hansel always stretched out a bone, and the old dame, whose eyes were dim, couldn’t see it, and thinking always it was Hansel’s finger, wondered why he fattened so slowly. When four weeks had passed and Hansel still remained thin, she lost patience and determined to wait no longer. “Hi, Grettel,” she called to the girl, abe quick and get some water. Hansel may be fat or thin, I’m going to kill him to-morrow and cook him.” Oh! how the poor little sister sobbed as she carried the water, and how the tears rolled down her cheeks! “Kind heaven help us now!” she cried; “if only the wild beasts in the wood had eaten us, then at least we should have died together.” “Just hold your peace,” said the old hag; “it won’t help you.”
Early in the morning Grettel had to go out and hang up the kettle full of water, and light the fire. “First we’ll bake,” said the old dame; “I’ve heated the oven already and kneaded the dough.” She pushed Grettel out to the oven, from which fiery flames were already issuing. “Creep in,” said the witch, “and see if it’s properly heated, so that we can shove in the bread.” For when she had got Grettel in she meant to close the oven and let the girl bake, that she might eat her up too. But Grettel perceived her intention, and said: “I don’t know how I’m to do it; how do I get in?” “You silly goose!” said the hag, “the opening is big enough; see, I could get in myself,” and she crawled toward it, and poked her head into the oven. Then Grettel gave her a shove that sent her right in, shut the iron door, and drew the bolt. Gracious! how she yelled, it was quite horrible; but Grettel fled, and the wretched old woman was left to perish miserably.
Grettel flew straight to Hansel, opened the little stable- door, and cried: “Hansel, we are free; the old witch is dead.” Then Hansel sprang like a bird out of a cage when the door is opened. How they rejoiced, and fell on each other’s necks, and jumped for joy, and kissed one another! And as they had no longer any cause for fear, they went in the old hag’s house, and here they found, in every corner of the room, boxes with pearls and precious stones. “These are even better than pebbles,” said Hansel, and crammed his pockets full of them; and Grettel said: “I too will bring something home,” and she filled her apron full. “But now,” said Hansel, “let’s go and get well away from the witch’s wood.” When they had wandered about for some hours they came to a big lake. “We can’t get over,” said Hansel; “I see no bridge of any sort or kind.” “Yes, and there’s no ferry-boat either,” answered Grettel; “but look, there swims a white duck; if I ask her she’ll help us over,” and she called out:
“Here are two children, mournful very, Seeing neither bridge nor ferry; Take us upon your white back, And row us over, quack, quack!”
The duck swam toward them, and Hansel got on her back and bade his little sister sit beside him. “No,” answered Grettel, “we should be too heavy a load for the duck: she shall carry us across separately.” The good bird did this, and when they were landed safely on the other side, and had gone for a while, the wood became more and more familiar to them, and at length they saw their father’s house in the distance. Then they set off to run, and bounding into the room fell on their father’s neck. The man had not passed a happy hour since he left them in the wood, but the woman had died. Grettel shook out her apron so that the pearls and precious stones rolled about the room, and Hansel threw down one handful after the other out of his pocket. Thus all their troubles were ended, and they lived happily ever afterward.
Once upon a time there lived a cat of marvelous beauty, with a skin as soft and shining as silk, and wise green eyes, that could see even in the dark. His name was Gon, and he belonged to a music teacher, who was so fond and proud of him that he would not have parted with him for anything in the world.
Now not far from the music master’s house there dwelt a lady who possessed a most lovely little pussy cat called Koma. She was such a little dear altogether, and blinked her eyes so daintily, and ate her supper so tidily, and when she had finished she licked her pink nose so delicately with her little tongue, that her mistress was never tired of saying, ‘Koma, Koma, what should I do without you?’
Well, it happened one day that these two, when out for an evening stroll, met under a cherry tree, and in one moment fell madly in love with each other. Gon had long felt that it was time for him to find a wife, for all the ladies in the neighbourhood paid him so much attention that it made him quite shy; but he was not easy to please, and did not care about any of them. Now, before he had time to think, Cupid had entangled him in his net, and he was filled with love towards Koma. She fully returned his passion, but, like a woman, she saw the difficulties in the way, and consulted sadly with Gon as to the means of overcoming them. Gon entreated his master to set matters right by buying Koma, but her mistress would not part from her. Then the music master was asked to sell Gon to the lady, but he declined to listen to any such suggestion, so everything remained as before.
At length the love of the couple grew to such a pitch that they determined to please themselves, and to seek their fortunes together. So one moonlight night they stole away, and ventured out into an unknown world. All day long they marched bravely on through the sunshine, till they had left their homes far behind them, and towards evening they found themselves in a large park. The wanderers by this time were very hot and tired, and the grass looked very soft and inviting, and the trees cast cool deep shadows, when suddenly an ogre appeared in this Paradise, in the shape of a big, big dog! He came springing towards them showing all his teeth, and Koma shrieked, and rushed up a cherry tree. Gon, however, stood his ground boldly, and prepared to give battle, for he felt that Koma’s eyes were upon him, and that he must not run away. But, alas! his courage would have availed him nothing had his enemy once touched him, for he was large and powerful, and very fierce. From her perch in the tree Koma saw it all, and screamed with all her might, hoping that some one would hear, and come to help. Luckily a servant of the princess to whom the park belonged was walking by, and he drove off the dog, and picking up the trembling Gon in his arms, carried him to his mistress.
So poor little Koma was left alone, while Gon was borne away full of trouble, not in the least knowing what to do. Even the attention paid him by the princess, who was delighted with his beauty and pretty ways, did not console him, but there was no use in fighting against fate, and he could only wait and see what would turn up.
The princess, Gon’s new mistress, was so good and kind that everybody loved her, and she would have led a happy life, had it not been for a serpent who had fallen in love with her, and was constantly annoying her by his presence. Her servants had orders to drive him away as often as he appeared; but as they were careless, and the serpent very sly, it sometimes happened that he was able to slip past them, and to frighten the princess by appearing before her. One day she was seated in her room, playing on her favourite musical instrument, when she felt something gliding up her sash, and saw her enemy making his way to kiss her cheek. She shrieked and threw herself backwards, and Gon, who had been curled up on a stool at her feet, understood her terror, and with one bound seized the snake by his neck. He gave him one bite and one shake, and flung him on the ground, where he lay, never to worry the princess any more. Then she took Gon in her arms, and praised and caressed him, and saw that he had the nicest bits to eat, and the softest mats to lie on; and he would have had nothing in the world to wish for if only he could have seen Koma again.
Time passed on, and one morning Gon lay before the house door, basking in the sun. He looked lazily at the world stretched out before him, and saw in the distance a big ruffian of a cat teasing and ill-treating quite a little one. He jumped up, full of rage, and chased away the big cat, and then he turned to comfort the little one, when his heart nearly burst with joy to find that it was Koma. At first Koma did not know him again, he had grown so large and stately; but when it dawned upon her who it was, her happiness knew no bounds. And they rubbed their heads and their noses again and again, while their purring might have been heard a mile off.
Paw in paw they appeared before the princess, and told her the story of their life and its sorrows. The princess wept for sympathy, and promised that they should never more be parted, but should live with her to the end of their days. By-and-bye the princess herself got married, and brought a prince to dwell in the palace in the park. And she told him all about her two cats, and how brave Gon had been, and how he had delivered her from her enemy the serpent.
And when the prince heard, he swore they should never leave them, but should go with the princess wherever she went. So it all fell out as the princess wished; and Gon and Koma had many children, and so had the princess, and they all played together, and were friends to the end of their lives.
Once upon a time there were Three Bears, who lived together in a house of their own in a wood. One of them was a Little, Small, Wee Bear; and one was a Middle-sized Bear, and the other was a Great, Huge Bear. They had each a pot for their porridge, a little pot for the Little, Small, Wee Bear; and a middle-sized pot for the Middle Bear; and a great pot for the Great, Huge Bear. And they had each a chair to sit in; a little chair for the Little, Small, Wee Bear; and a middle-sized chair for the Middle Bear; and a great chair for the Great, Huge Bear. And they had each a bed to sleep in; a little bed for the Little, Small, Wee Bear; and a middle-sized bed for the Middle Bear; and a great bed for the Great, Huge Bear.
One day, after they had made the porridge for their breakfast, and poured it into their porridge-pots, they walked out into the wood while the porridge was cooling, that they might not burn their mouths by beginning too soon to eat it. And while they were walking, a little girl came into the house. This little girl golden curls that tumbled down her back to her waist, and everyone called her by Goldilocks. Goldilocks had been walking through the woods on the way to visit her grandmother, but she had taken a shortcut and lost her way. After wondering around the woods for a very long time, and starting to despair of ever see her grandmamma or her parents again, she came across a little house. She was very relieved, because she was certain that whoever lived in the house would help her. You see, she did not know that the house belonged to the Three Bears.
Goldilocks went up to the house and knocked on the door, but nobody answered. After a while, she looked through the window and saw the porridge on the table that the bears had made for their breakfast. She said to herself, “Oh how I wish I could eat some of that porridge! I’m so very hungry.”
Now perhaps Goldilocks should have waited till the bears came home, and then, perhaps, they would have asked her to breakfast; for they were good bears–a little rough or so, as the manner of bears is, but for all that very good-natured and hospitable. But Goldilocks did something rather naughty. She tried the latch on the door of the house and found that it was open – because you see the bears didn’t expect that anyone would come along and steal their porridge, and so they hadn’t bothered to lock the door of the house when they went out. Goldilocks went inside. First she tasted the porridge of the Great, Huge Bear, and that was too hot for her; And then she tasted the porridge of the Middle Bear; and that was too cold for her; and she. And then she went to the porridge of the Little, Small, Wee Bear, and tasted that; and that was neither too hot nor too cold, but just right; and she liked it so well, that she ate it all up.
Then the little Goldilocks sat down in the chair of the Great, Huge Bear, and that was too hard for her. And then she sat down in the chair of the Middle Bear, and that was too soft for her. And then she sat down in the chair of the Little, Small, Wee Bear, and that was neither too hard nor too soft, but just right. So she sat till the bottom of the chair came out, and down came she, plump upon the ground. And the naughty little girl laughed out loud.
Then Goldilocks went up stairs into the bed-chamber in which the three bears slept. And first she lay down upon the bed of the Great, Huge Bear; but that was too high at the head for her. And next she lay down upon the bed of the Middle Bear; and that was too high at the foot for her. And then she lay down upon the bed of the Little, Small, Wee Bear; and that was neither too high at the head, nor at the foot, but just right. So she covered herself up comfortably, and lay there till she fell fast asleep.
By this time the three bears thought their porridge would be cool enough; so they came home to breakfast. Now naughty Goldilocks had left the spoon of the Great, Huge Bear, standing in his porridge.
‘SOMEBODY HAS BEEN AT MY PORRIDGE!’
said the Great, Huge Bear, in his great gruff voice. And when the Middle Bear looked at his, he saw that the spoon was standing in it too. ‘Somebody Has Been At My Porridge!’ said the Middle Bear, in his middle voice.
Then the Little, Small, Wee Bear looked at his, and there was the spoon in the porridge-pot, but the porridge was all gone.
‘_Somebody has been at my porridge, and has eaten it all up_!’
said the Little, Small Wee Bear, in his little, small wee voice.
Upon this the three bears, seeing that some one had entered their house, and eaten up the Little, Small, Wee Bear’s breakfast, began to look about them. Now Goldilocks had not put the hard cushion straight when she rose from the chair of the Great, Huge Bear. ‘SOMEBODY HAS BEEN SITTING IN MY CHAIR!’ said the Great, Huge Bear, in his great, rough, gruff voice.
And the little girl had squished down the soft cushion of the Middle Bear.
‘Somebody Has Been Sitting In My Chair!’
said the Middle Bear, in his middle voice.
And you know what the naughty little girl had done to the third chair.
‘_Somebody has been sitting in my chair, and has sat the bottom of it out_!’ said the Little, Small, Wee Bear, in his little, small, wee voice.
Then the three bears thought that they should look the house more, so they went up stairs into their bed-room. Now Goldilocks had pulled the pillow of the Great, Huge Bear out of its place.
‘SOMEBODY HAS BEEN LYING IN MY BED!’
said the Great, Huge Bear, in his great, rough, gruff voice. And Goldilocks had pulled the bed cover of the Middle Bear out of its place
Kissa the Cat
Hello Everybody, my name’s natasha, and his Royal Highness Princee Bertie the frog has comanded me to tell you the Storynory of Kissa the Cat.
Now Prince Bertie the Frog is not too sure whether he likes cats. As you know, before Bertie became a frog, he used to be a handsome prince. The palace cat used to sit on his lap and purr, and in those days, he liked cats very much. But now he’s a frog, he has a rather different point of view. If you are frog, and you see a cat who is much bigger than you and has very sharp claws, you can get a little bit frightened, especially when it’s in the habbit of creeping silently up behind various birds and creatures, and jumping on them. But this Storynory is about a very nice cat called Kissa, and it’s from Andrew Lang’s Brown Fairy Book.
Once upon a time there lived a queen who had a beautiful cat, the colour of smoke, with china-blue eyes, which she was very fond of. The cat was constantly with her, and ran after her wherever she went, and even sat up proudly by her side when she drove out in her fine glass coach.
‘Oh, pussy,’ said the queen one day, ‘you are happier than I am! For you have a dear kitten just like yourself, and I have nobody to play with but you.’
‘Don’t cry,’ answered the cat, laying her paw on her mistress’s arm. ‘Crying never does any good. I will see what can be done.’
The cat was as good as her word. As soon as she returned from her drive she trotted off to the forest to consult a fairy who dwelt there, and very soon after the queen had a little girl, who seemed made out of snow and sunbeams, and she called her Princess Ingibjorg. The queen was delighted, and soon the baby began to take notice of Kissa the kitten as she jumped about the room, and would not go to sleep at all unless the kitten lay curled up beside her.
Two or three months went by, and though the baby was still a baby, the kitten was fast becoming a cat, and one evening when, as usual, the nurse came to look for her, to put her in the baby’s cot, she was nowhere to be found. What a hunt there was for that kitten, to be sure! The servants, each anxious to find her, as the queen was certain to reward the lucky man, searched in the most impossible places. Boxes were opened that would hardly have held the kitten’s paw; books were taken from bookshelves, lest the kitten should have got behind them, drawers were pulled out, for perhaps the kitten might have got shut in. But it was all no use. The kitten had plainly run away, and nobody could tell if it would ever choose to come back.
Years passed away, and one day, when the princess was playing ball in the garden, she happened to throw her ball farther than usual, and it fell into a clump of rose-bushes. The princess of course ran after it at once, and she was stooping down to feel if it was hidden in the long grass, when she heard a voice calling her: ‘Ingibjorg! Ingibjorg!’ it said, ‘have you forgotten me? I am Kisa, your sister!’
‘But I never had a sister,’ answered Ingibjorg, very much puzzled; for she knew nothing of what had taken place so long ago. How could she suspect that a little kitten was practically her sister?
‘Don’t you remember how I always slept in your cot beside you, and how you cried till I came? But girls have no memories at all! Why, I could find my way straight up to that cot this moment, if I was once inside the palace.’
‘Why did you go away then?’ asked the princess. But before Kisa could answer, the little Princess Ingibjorg’s attendents arrived breathless on the scene, and were so horrified at the sight of a strange cat, that Kisa plunged into the bushes and went back to the forest.
The princess was angry with her ladies-in-waiting for frightening away her old playfellow, and told the queen who came to her room every evening to bid her good-night.
‘Yes, it is quite true what Kissa said,’ answered the queen; ‘I should have liked to see her again. Perhaps, some day, she will return, and then you must bring her to me.’
Next morning it was very hot, and the princess declared that she must go and play in the forest, where it was always cool, under the big shady trees. As usual, her attendants let her do anything she pleased, and sitting down on a mossy bank where a little stream tinkled by, soon fell sound asleep. The princess saw with delight that they would pay no heed to her, and wandered on and on, expecting every moment to see some fairies dancing round a ring, or some little brown elves peeping at her from behind a tree. But, alas! she met none of these; instead, a horrible giant came out of his cave and ordered her to follow him. The princess felt much afraid, as he was so big and ugly, and began to be sorry that she had not stayed within reach of help; but as there was no use in disobeying the giant, she walked meekly behind.
They went a long way, and Princess Ingibjorg grew very tired, and at length began to cry.
‘I don’t like girls who make horrid noises,’ said the giant, turning round. ‘But if you want to cry, I will give you something to cry for.’ And
with those words he started to draw his axe from his belt. Ingibjorg became very frightened and started to run. Fortunately, although the giant was very big,and had long legs, he was also very fat, and he couldn’t run quickly. As Ingibjorg escaped, she lost her slippers that were embroidered with gold thread and studded with precious stones – for they were special slippers made for a princess. On she ran in her bare feet, which soon became very cut and full of thorns. She did not look round to see the giant stopping down to pick up her expensive slippers.
She ran into a part of the Forrest that was too thick and overgrown for him to find her, and finally she got away from that wicked giant, who would surely have killed her with his axe if he could have done. But now she was quite lost. How long it was since she had set out in the morning she could not tell–it seemed years to her. Her legs were cut by brambles and thorns and a wasp had stung her on the nose. Eventually she lay down and started to cry. Darkness came over, and she was shivering all night with cold. When she woke up, she was hungry and thirsty. “Now I shall surely die!” she said to herself.
When the sun was still high in the heavens when she heard the sound of wheels, and then, with a great effort, for her throat was parched with fright and pain, she gave a shout.
‘I am coming!’ was the answer; and in another moment a cart made its way through the trees, driven by Kisa, who used her tail as a whip to urge the horse to go faster. Directly Kissa saw Ingibjorg lying there, she jumped quickly down, and lifting the girl carefully in her two front paws, laid her upon some soft hay, and drove back to her own little hut.
In the corner of the room was a pile of cushions, and these Kissa arranged as a bed. Princess Ingibjorg, who by this time was nearly fainting from all she had gone through, drank greedily some milk, and then sank back on the cushions while Kisa fetched some dried herbs from a cupboard, soaked them in warm water and tended to her cuts and bruises. The pain vanished at once, and Ingibjorg looked up and smiled at Kisa.
‘You will go to sleep now,’ said the cat, ‘for you have a fever and must rest. You will not mind if I leave you for a little while. I will lock the door, and no one can hurt you.’ But before she had finished the princess was asleep. Then Kisa got into the cart, which was standing at the door, and catching up the reins, drove straight to the giant’s cave.
Leaving her cart behind some trees, Kissa crept gently up to the open door, and, crouching down, listened to what the giant was telling his wife, who was at supper with him.
‘The first day that I can spare I shall just go back and kill her,’ he said; ‘it would never do for people in the forest to know that a mere girl can defy me!’ And he and his wife were so busy calling Ingibjorg all sorts of names for her bad behaviour, that they never noticed Kisa stealing into a dark corner, and upsetting a whole bag of salt into the great pot before the fire. By-andBye The giant and giantess had the salty soup for their supper.
‘Dear me, how thirsty I am!’ cried the giant after supper. For the salt had made him so.
‘So am I,’ answered the wife. ‘I do wish I had not taken that last spoonful of broth; I am sure something was wrong with it.’
‘If I don’t get some water I shall die,’ went on the giant. And rushing out of the cave, followed by his wife, he ran down the path which led to the river.
Then Kissa entered the hut, and lost no time in searching every hole till she came upon some grass, under which Ingibjorg’s gold embroiderd slippers wer hidden, and putting them in her cart, drove back again to her own hut.
Ingibjorg was thankful to see her, for she had lain, too frightened to sleep, trembling at every noise.
‘Oh, is it you?’ she cried joyfully, as Kisa turned the key. And the cat came in, holding up the two neat litlte slippers.
“Now if you are feeling better, it is time to take you home,” said Kissa.
‘when the cat drove the cart up to the palace gate, lashing the horse furiously with her tail, and the king and queen saw their lost daughter sitting beside her, they declared that no reward could be too great for the person who had brought her out of the giant’s hands.
‘We will talk about that by-and-by,’ said the cat, as she made her best bow, and turned her horse’s head.
The princess was very unhappy when Kisa left her without even bidding her farewell. She would neither eat nor drink, nor take any notice of all the beautiful dresses her parents bought for her.
‘She will die, unless we can make her laugh,’ one whispered to the other. ‘Is there anything in the world that we have left untried?’
‘Nothing except marriage,’ answered the king. And he invited all the handsomest young men he could think of to the palace, and bade the princess choose a husband from among them.
It took her some time to decide which she admired the most, but at last she fixed upon a young prince, whose eyes were like the pools in the forest, and his hair of bright gold. The king and the queen were greatly pleased, as the young man was the son of a neighbouring king, and they gave orders that a splendid feast should be got ready.
When the marriage was over, Kissa suddenly stood before them, and Ingibjorg rushed forward and clasped her in her arms.
‘I have come to claim my reward,’ said the cat. ‘Let me sleep for this night at the foot of your bed.’
‘Is that all?’ asked Ingibjorg, much disappointed.
‘It is enough,’ answered the cat. And when the morning dawned, it was no cat that lay upon the bed, but a beautiful princess.
‘My mother and I were both put under an evil spell by a spiteful fairy,’ said she, ‘we could not free ourselves till we had done some kindly deed that had never been wrought before. My mother died without ever finding a chance of doing anything new, but I saved you from the forrest, and now am turned back into a princess.
Then they were all more delighted than before, and the princess lived in the court until she, too, married.
And that’s the Storynory, of Kissa the cat, who was really a princess. Bertie the frog likes this storynory because he once once a handsome prince. He hopes to turn back into a Royal person one day, just like Kissa the cat did. You can help him by listening to all his free Stories which you can find on Storynory.com. While you are there, you can also drop into Bertie’s online shop.
I’ll be back with another Storynory soon. Until then, from me, Natasha, Bye Bye!
IN the High and Far-Off Times the Elephant, O Best Beloved, had no trunk. He had only a blackish, bulgy nose, as big as a boot, that he could wriggle about from side to side; but he couldn’t pick up things with it. But there was one Elephant–a new Elephant–an Elephant’s Child–who was full of ‘satiable curtiosity, and that means he asked ever so many questions. And he lived in Africa, and he filled all Africa with his ‘satiable curtiosities. He asked his tall aunt, the Ostrich, why her tail-feathers grew just so, and his tall aunt the Ostrich spanked him with her hard, hard claw. He asked his tall uncle, the Giraffe, what made his skin spotty, and his tall uncle, the Giraffe, spanked him with his hard, hard hoof. And still he was full of ‘satiable curtiosity! He asked his broad aunt, the Hippopotamus, why her eyes were red, and his broad aunt, the Hippopotamus, spanked him with her broad, broad hoof; and he asked his hairy uncle, the Baboon, why melons tasted just so, and his hairy uncle, the Baboon, spanked him with his hairy, hairy paw. And still he was full of ‘satiable curtiosity! He asked questions about everything that he saw, or heard, or felt, or smelt, or touched, and all his uncles and his aunts spanked him. And still he was full of ‘satiable curtiosity!
One fine morning in the middle of the Precession of the Equinoxes this ‘satiable Elephant’s Child asked a new fine question that he had never asked before. He asked, ‘What does the Crocodile have for dinner?’ Then everybody said, ‘Hush!’ in a loud and dretful tone, and they spanked him immediately and directly, without stopping, for a long time.
By and by, when that was finished, he came upon Kolokolo Bird sitting in the middle of a wait-a-bit thorn-bush, and he said, ‘My father has spanked me, and my mother has spanked me; all my aunts and uncles have spanked me for my ‘satiable curtiosity; and still I want to know what the Crocodile has for dinner!’
Then Kolokolo Bird said, with a mournful cry, ‘Go to the banks of the great grey-green, greasy Limpopo River, all set about with fever-trees, and find out.’
That very next morning, when there was nothing left of the Equinoxes, because the Precession had preceded according to precedent, this ‘satiable Elephant’s Child took a hundred pounds of bananas (the little short red kind), and a hundred pounds of sugar-cane (the long purple kind), and seventeen melons (the greeny-crackly kind), and said to all his dear families, ‘Goodbye. I am going to the great grey-green, greasy Limpopo River, all set about with fever-trees, to find out what the Crocodile has for dinner.’ And they all spanked him once more for luck, though he asked them most politely to stop.
Then he went away, a little warm, but not at all astonished, eating melons, and throwing the rind about, because he could not pick it up.
He went from Graham’s Town to Kimberley, and from Kimberley to Khama’s Country, and from Khama’s Country he went east by north, eating melons all the time, till at last he came to the banks of the great grey-green, greasy Limpopo River, all set about with fever-trees, precisely as Kolokolo Bird had said.
Now you must know and understand, O Best Beloved, that till that very week, and day, and hour, and minute, this ‘satiable Elephant’s Child had never seen a Crocodile, and did not know what one was like. It was all his ‘satiable curtiosity.
The first thing that he found was a Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake curled round a rock.
”Scuse me,’ said the Elephant’s Child most politely, ‘but have you seen such a thing as a Crocodile in these promiscuous parts?’
‘Have I seen a Crocodile?’ said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake, in a voice of dretful scorn. ‘What will you ask me next?’
”Scuse me,’ said the Elephant’s Child, ‘but could you kindly tell me what he has for dinner?’
Then the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake uncoiled himself very quickly from the rock, and spanked the Elephant’s Child with his scalesome, flailsome tail.
‘That is odd,’ said the Elephant’s Child, ‘because my father and my mother, and my uncle and my aunt, not to mention my other aunt, the Hippopotamus, and my other uncle, the Baboon, have all spanked me for my ‘satiable curtiosity–and I suppose this is the same thing.
So he said good-bye very politely to the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake, and helped to coil him up on the rock again, and went on, a little warm, but not at all astonished, eating melons, and throwing the rind about, because he could not pick it up, till he trod on what he thought was a log of wood at the very edge of the great grey-green, greasy Limpopo River, all set about with fever-trees.
But it was really the Crocodile, O Best Beloved, and the Crocodile winked one eye–like this!
”Scuse me,’ said the Elephant’s Child most politely, ‘but do you happen to have seen a Crocodile in these promiscuous parts?’
Then the Crocodile winked the other eye, and lifted half his tail out of the mud; and the Elephant’s Child stepped back most politely, because he did not wish to be spanked again.
‘Come hither, Little One,’ said the Crocodile. ‘Why do you ask such things?’
”Scuse me,’ said the Elephant’s Child most politely, ‘but my father has spanked me, my mother has spanked me, not to mention my tall aunt, the Ostrich, and my tall uncle, the Giraffe, who can kick ever so hard, as well as my broad aunt, the Hippopotamus, and my hairy uncle, the Baboon, and including the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake, with the scalesome, flailsome tail, just up the bank, who spanks harder than any of them; and so, if it’s quite all the same to you, I don’t want to be spanked any more.’
‘Come hither, Little One,’ said the Crocodile, ‘for I am the Crocodile,’ and he wept crocodile-tears to show it was quite true.
Then the Elephant’s Child grew all breathless, and panted, and kneeled down on the bank and said, ‘You are the very person I have been looking for all these long days. Will you please tell me what you have for dinner?’
‘Come hither, Little One,’ said the Crocodile, ‘and I’ll whisper.’
Then the Elephant’s Child put his head down close to the Crocodile’s musky, tusky mouth, and the Crocodile caught him by his little nose, which up to that very week, day, hour, and minute, had been no bigger than a boot, though much more useful.
‘I think, said the Crocodile–and he said it between his teeth, like this–’I think to-day I will begin with Elephant’s Child!’
At this, O Best Beloved, the Elephant’s Child was much annoyed, and he said, speaking through his nose, like this, ‘Led go! You are hurtig be!’
Then the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake scuffled down from the bank and said, ‘My young friend, if you do not now, immediately and instantly, pull as hard as ever you can, it is my opinion that your acquaintance in the large-pattern leather ulster’ (and by this he meant the Crocodile) ‘will jerk you into yonder limpid stream before you can say Jack Robinson.’
This is the way Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snakes always talk.
Then the Elephant’s Child sat back on his little haunches, and pulled, and pulled, and pulled, and his nose began to stretch. And the Crocodile floundered into the water, making it all creamy with great sweeps of his tail, and he pulled, and pulled, and pulled.
And the Elephant’s Child’s nose kept on stretching; and the Elephant’s Child spread all his little four legs and pulled, and pulled, and pulled, and his nose kept on stretching; and the Crocodile threshed his tail like an oar, and he pulled, and pulled, and pulled, and at each pull the Elephant’s Child’s nose grew longer and longer–and it hurt him hijjus!
Then the Elephant’s Child felt his legs slipping, and he said through his nose, which was now nearly five feet long, ‘This is too butch for be!’
Then the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake came down from the bank, and knotted himself in a double-clove-hitch round the Elephant’s Child’s hind legs, and said, ‘Rash and inexperienced traveller, we will now seriously devote ourselves to a little high tension, because if we do not, it is my impression that yonder self-propelling man-of-war with the armour-plated upper deck’ (and by this, O Best Beloved, he meant the Crocodile), ‘will permanently vitiate your future career.
That is the way all Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snakes always talk.
So he pulled, and the Elephant’s Child pulled, and the Crocodile pulled; but the Elephant’s Child and the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake pulled hardest; and at last the Crocodile let go of the Elephant’s Child’s nose with a plop that you could hear all up and down the Limpopo.
Then the Elephant’s Child sat down most hard and sudden; but first he was careful to say ‘Thank you’ to the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake; and next he was kind to his poor pulled nose, and wrapped it all up in cool banana leaves, and hung it in the great grey-green, greasy Limpopo to cool.
‘What are you doing that for?’ said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake.
”Scuse me,’ said the Elephant’s Child, ‘but my nose is badly out of shape, and I am waiting for it to shrink.
‘Then you will have to wait a long time, said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake. ‘Some people do not know what is good for them.’
The Elephant’s Child sat there for three days waiting for his nose to shrink. But it never grew any shorter, and, besides, it made him squint. For, O Best Beloved, you will see and understand that the Crocodile had pulled it out into a really truly trunk same as all Elephants have to-day.
At the end of the third day a fly came and stung him on the shoulder, and before he knew what he was doing he lifted up his trunk and hit that fly dead with the end of it.
”Vantage number one!’ said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake. ‘You couldn’t have done that with a mere-smear nose. Try and eat a little now.’
Before he thought what he was doing the Elephant’s Child put out his trunk and plucked a large bundle of grass, dusted it clean against his fore-legs, and stuffed it into his own mouth.
‘Vantage number two!’ said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake. ‘You couldn’t have done that with a mear-smear nose. Don’t you think the sun is very hot here?’
‘It is,’ said the Elephant’s Child, and before he thought what he was doing he schlooped up a schloop of mud from the banks of the great grey-green, greasy Limpopo, and slapped it on his head, where it made a cool schloopy-sloshy mud-cap all trickly behind his ears.
‘Vantage number three!’ said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake. ‘You couldn’t have done that with a mere-smear nose. Now how do you feel about being spanked again?’
”Scuse me,’ said the Elephant’s Child, ‘but I should not like it at all.’
‘How would you like to spank somebody?’ said the Bi- Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake.
‘I should like it very much indeed,’ said the Elephant’s Child.
‘Well,’ said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake, ‘you will find that new nose of yours very useful to spank people with.’
‘Thank you,’ said the Elephant’s Child, ‘I’ll remember that; and now I think I’ll go home to all my dear families and try.’
So the Elephant’s Child went home across Africa frisking and whisking his trunk. When he wanted fruit to eat he pulled fruit down from a tree, instead of waiting for it to fall as he used to do. When he wanted grass he plucked grass up from the ground, instead of going on his knees as he used to do. When the flies bit him he broke off the branch of a tree and used it as fly-whisk; and he made himself a new, cool, slushy-squshy mud-cap whenever the sun was hot. When he felt lonely walking through Africa he sang to himself down his trunk, and the noise was louder than several brass bands.
He went especially out of his way to find a broad Hippopotamus (she was no relation of his), and he spanked her very hard, to make sure that the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake had spoken the truth about his new trunk. The rest of the time he picked up the melon rinds that he had dropped on his way to the Limpopo–for he was a Tidy Pachyderm.
One dark evening he came back to all his dear families, and he coiled up his trunk and said, ‘How do you do?’ They were very glad to see him, and immediately said, ‘Come here and be spanked for your ‘satiable curtiosity.’
‘Pooh,’ said the Elephant’s Child. ‘I don’t think you peoples know anything about spanking; but I do, and I’ll show you.’ Then he uncurled his trunk and knocked two of his dear brothers head over heels.
‘O Bananas!’ said they, ‘where did you learn that trick, and what have you done to your nose?’
‘I got a new one from the Crocodile on the banks of the great grey-green, greasy Limpopo River,’ said the Elephant’s Child. ‘I asked him what he had for dinner, and he gave me this to keep.’
‘It looks very ugly,’ said his hairy uncle, the Baboon.
‘It does,’ said the Elephant’s Child. ‘But it’s very useful,’ and he picked up his hairy uncle, the Baboon, by one hairy leg, and hove him into a hornet’s nest.
Then that bad Elephant’s Child spanked all his dear families for a long time, till they were very warm and greatly astonished. He pulled out his tall Ostrich aunt’s tail-feathers; and he caught his tall uncle, the Giraffe, by the hind-leg, and dragged him through a thorn-bush; and he shouted at his broad aunt, the Hippopotamus, and blew bubbles into her ear when she was sleeping in the water after meals; but he never let any one touch Kolokolo Bird.
At last things grew so exciting that his dear families went off one by one in a hurry to the banks of the great grey-green, greasy Limpopo River, all set about with fever-trees, to borrow new noses from the Crocodile. When they came back nobody spanked anybody any more; and ever since that day, O Best Beloved, all the Elephants you will ever see, besides all those that you won’t, have trunks precisely like the trunk of the ‘satiable Elephant’s Child.
There was once a merchant who was so rich that he could have paved the whole street, and perhaps even a little side-street besides, with silver. But he did not do that; he knew another way of spending his money. If he spent a shilling he got back a florin-such an excellent merchant he was till he died.
Now his son inherited all this money. He lived very merrily; he went every night to the theatre, made paper kites out of five-pound notes, and played ducks and drakes with sovereigns instead of stones. In this way the money was likely to come soon to an end, and so it did.
At last he had nothing left but four shillings, and he had no clothes except a pair of slippers and an old dressing-gown.
His friends did not trouble themselves any more about him; they would not even walk down the street with him.
But one of them who was rather good-natured sent him an old trunk with the message, ‘Pack up!” That was all very well, but he had nothing to pack up, so he got into the trunk himself.
It was an enchanted trunk, for as soon as the lock was pressed it could fly. He pressed it, and away he flew in it up the chimney, high into the clouds, further and further away. But whenever the bottom gave a little creak he was in terror lest the trunk should go to pieces, for then he would have turned a dreadful somersault-just think of it!
In this way he arrived at the land of the Turks. He hid the trunk in a wood under some dry leaves, and then walked into the town. He could do that quite well, for all the Turks were dressed just as he was-in a dressing-gown and slippers.
He met a nurse with a little child.
‘Halloa! you Turkish nurse,’ said he, ‘what is that great castle there close to the town? The one with the windows so high up?’
‘The sultan’s daughter lives there,’ she replied. ‘It is prophesied that she will be very unlucky in her husband, and so no one is allowed to see her except when the sultan and sultana are by.’
‘Thank you,’ said the merchant’s son, and he went into the wood, sat himself in his trunk, flew on to the roof, and crept through the window into the princess’s room.
She was lying on the sofa asleep, and was so beautiful that the young merchant had to kiss her. Then she woke up and was very much frightened, but he said he was a Turkish god who had come through the air to see her, and that pleased her very much.
They sat close to each other, and he told her a story about her eyes. They were beautiful dark lakes in which her thoughts swam about like mermaids. And her forehead was a snowy mountain, grand and shining. These were lovely stories.
Then he asked the princess to marry him, and she said yes at once.
‘But you must come here on Saturday,’ she said, ‘for then the sultan and the sultana are coming to tea with me. They will be indeed proud that I receive the god of the Turks. But mind you have a really good story ready, for my parents like them immensely. My mother likes something rather moral and high-flown, and my father likes something merry to make him laugh.’
‘Yes, I shall only bring a fairy story for my dowry,’ said he, and so they parted. But the princess gave him a sabre set with gold pieces which he could use.
Then he flew away, bought himself a new dressing-gown, and sat down in the wood and began to make up a story, for it had to be ready by Saturday, and that was no easy matter.
When he had it ready it was Saturday.
The sultan, the sultana, and the whole court were at tea with the princess.
He was most graciously received.
‘Will you tell us a story?’ said the sultana; ‘one that is thoughtful and instructive?’
‘But something that we can laugh at,’ said the sultan.
‘Oh, certainly,’ he replied, and began: ‘Now, listen attentively. There was once a box of matches which lay between a tinder-box and an old iron pot, and they told the story of their youth.
‘”We used to be on the green fir-boughs. Every morning and evening we had diamond-tea, which was the dew, and the whole day long we had sunshine, and the little birds used to tell us stories. We were very rich, because the other trees only dressed in summer, but we had green dresses in summer and in winter. Then the woodcutter came, and our family was split up. We have now the task of making light for the lowest people. That is why we grand people are in the kitchen.”
‘”My fate was quite different,” said the iron pot, near which the matches lay.
‘”Since I came into the world I have been many times scoured, and have cooked much. My only pleasure is to have a good chat with my companions when I am lying nice and clean in my place after dinner.”
‘”Now you are talking too fast,” spluttered the fire.
‘”Yes, let us decide who is the grandest!” said the matches.
‘”No, I don’t like talking about myself,” said the pot.
‘”Let us arrange an evening’s entertainment. I will tell the story of my life.
‘”On the Baltic by the Danish shore-”
‘What a beautiful beginning!” said all the plates. “That’s a story that will please us all.”
‘And the end was just as good as the beginning. All the plates clattered for joy.
‘”Now I will dance,” said the tongs, and she danced. Oh! how high she could kick!
‘The old chair-cover in the corner split when he saw her.
‘The urn would have sung but she said she had a cold; she could not sing unless she boiled.
‘In the window was an old quill pen. There was nothing remarkable about her except that she had been dipped too deeply into the ink. But she was very proud of that.
‘”If the urn will not sing,” said she, “outside the door hangs a nightingale in a cage who will sing.”
‘”I don’t think it’s proper,” said the kettle, “that such a foreign bird should be heard.”
‘”Oh, let us have some acting,” said everyone. “Do let us!”
‘Suddenly the door opened and the maid came in. Everyone was quite quiet. There was not a sound. But each pot knew what he might have done, and how grand he was.
‘The maid took the matches and lit the fire with them. How they spluttered and flamed, to be sure! “Now everyone can see,” they thought, “that we are the grandest! How we sparkle! What a light-”
‘But here they were burnt out.’
‘That was a delightful story!’ said the sultana. ‘I quite feel myself in the kitchen with the matches. Yes, now you shall marry our daughter.’
‘Yes, indeed,’ said the sultan, ‘you shall marry our daughter on Monday.’ And they treated the young man as one of the family.
The wedding was arranged, and the night before the whole town was illuminated.
Biscuits and gingerbreads were thrown among the people, the street boys stood on tiptoe crying hurrahs and whistling through their fingers. It was all splendid.
‘Now I must also give them a treat,’ thought the merchant’s son. And so he bought rockets, crackers, and all the kinds of fireworks you can think of, put them in his trunk, and flew up with them into the air.
Whirr-r-r, how they fizzed and blazed!
All the Turks jumped so high that their slippers flew above their heads; such a splendid glitter they had never seen before.
Now they could quite well understand that it was the god of the Turks himself who was to marry the princess.
As soon as the young merchant came down again into the wood with his trunk he thought, ‘Now I will just go into the town to see how the show has taken.’
And it was quite natural that he should want to do this.
Oh! what stories the people had to tell!
Each one whom he asked had seen it differently, but they had all found it beautiful.
‘I saw the Turkish god himself,’ said one. ‘He had eyes like glittering stars, and a beard like foaming water.’
‘He flew away in a cloak of fire,’ said another. They were splendid things that he heard, and the next day was to be his wedding day.
Then he went back into the wood to sit in his trunk; but what had become of it? The trunk had been burnt. A spark of the fireworks had set it alight, and the trunk was in ashes. He could no longer fly, and could never reach his bride.
She stood the whole day long on the roof and waited; perhaps she is waiting there still.
But he wandered through the world and told stories; though they are not so merry as the one he told about the matches.
IN a town in Persia there dwelt two brothers, one named Cassim, the other Ali Baba. Cassim was married to a rich wife and lived in plenty, while Ali Baba had to maintain his wife and children by cutting wood in a neighboring forest and selling it in the town. One day, when Ali Baba was in the forest, he saw a troop of men on horseback, coming toward him in a cloud of dust. He was afraid they were robbers, and climbed into a tree for safety. When they came up to him and dismounted, he counted forty of them. They unbridled their horses and tied them to trees. The finest man among them, whom Ali Baba took to be their captain, went a little way among some bushes, and said: “Open, Sesame!”[1] so plainly that Ali Baba heard him. A door opened in the rocks, and having made the troop go in, he followed them, and the door shut again of itself. They stayed some time inside, and Ali Baba, fearing they might come out and catch him, was forced to sit patiently in the tree. At last the door opened again, and the Forty Thieves came out. As the Captain went in last he came out first, and made them all pass by him; he then closed the door, saying: “Shut, Sesame!” Every man bridled his horse and mounted, the Captain put himself at their head, and they returned as they came.
Then Ali Baba climbed down and went to the door concealed among the bushes, and said: “Open, Sesame!” and it flew open. Ali Baba, who expected a dull, dismal place, was greatly surprised to find it large and well lighted, hollowed by the hand of man in the form of a vault, which received the light from an opening in the ceiling. He saw rich bales of merchandise–silk, stuff-brocades, all piled together, and gold and silver in heaps, and money in leather purses. He went in and the door shut behind him. He did not look at the silver, but brought out as many bags of gold as he thought his asses, which were browsing outside, could carry, loaded them with the bags, and hid it all with fagots. Using the words: “Shut, Sesame!” he closed the door and went home.
Then he drove his asses into the yard, shut the gates, carried the money-bags to his wife, and emptied them out before her. He bade her keep the secret, and he would go and bury the gold. “Let me first measure it,” said his wife. “I will go borrow a measure of someone, while you dig the hole.” So she ran to the wife of Cassim and borrowed a measure. Knowing Ali Baba’s poverty, the sister was curious to find out what sort of grain his wife wished to measure, and artfully put some suet at the bottom of the measure. Ali Baba’s wife went home and set the measure on the heap of gold, and filled it and emptied it often, to her great content. She then carried it back to her sister, without noticing that a piece of gold was sticking to it, which Cassim’s wife perceived directly her back was turned. She grew very curious, and said to Cassim when he came home: “Cassim, your brother is richer than you. He does not count his money, he measures it.” He begged her to explain this riddle, which she did by showing him the piece of money and telling him where she found it. Then Cassim grew so envious that he could not sleep, and went to his brother in the morning before sunrise. “Ali Baba,” he said, showing him the gold piece, “you pretend to be poor and yet you measure gold.” By this Ali Baba perceived that through his wife’s folly Cassim and his wife knew their secret, so he confessed all and offered Cassim a share. “That I expect,” said Cassim; “but I must know where to find the treasure, otherwise I will discover all, and you will lose all.” Ali Baba, more out of kindness than fear, told him of the cave, and the very words to use. Cassim left Ali Baba, meaning to be beforehand with him and get the treasure for himself. He rose early next morning, and set out with ten mules loaded with great chests. He soon found the place, and the door in the rock. He said: “Open, Sesame!” and the door opened and shut behind him. He could have feasted his eyes all day on the treasures, but he now hastened to gather together as much of it as possible; but when he was ready to go he could not remember what to say for thinking of his
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ALL ABOUT JEFFREY MORRIS
Director Summary
Mr Jeffrey Clive Morris has 41 company director or secretary appointments.
Short name - Jeffrey Morris
Month/Year of Birth: 12/1958
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Address
57 Cardigan Lane
Leeds
West Yorkshire
United Kingdom
LS4 2LE
Company Summary
Company Name Company Status
TELLBROOK LIMITED In Liquidation
IMJACK SECURE COMMUNICATIONS LIMITED In Liquidation
WAMEY LIMITED Operating under Voluntary Arrangement
LETTAR LIMITED Active
ECLIPSE FILM PARTNERS NO. 17 LLP Active
DIAMOND SHAPE LIMITED Active
ORWELL FILMS LLP Active
HAK DIRECT LIMITED Active
EYE CANDY (UK) LIMITED Active
HAK PROPERTY LIMITED Active
POSITIVE CREATIONS (LEEDS) LIMITED Active
THE INVICTA FILM PARTNERSHIP NO.6, LLP Active
MORCO GROUP LIMITED Active
AUTOGAIN LIMITED Active
MORRIS & LEWIS (LEEDS) LIMITED Active
MORCO RETAIL LIMITED Active
HAK DEVELOPMENTS LIMITED Dissolved
HAK SERVICES LIMITED Dissolved
DAWCLIFFE LIMITED Dissolved
PAGERECALL LIMITED Dissolved
COUNTRYLARGE LIMITED Dissolved
AEROGLOSS LIMITED Dissolved
COMSTAR LIMITED Dissolved
BOLD PROPERTIES LIMITED Dissolved
GROWTHMARKET LIMITED Dissolved
MORCO EXTRA PROFIT LIMITED Dissolved
ATOMICEFFORT LIMITED Dissolved
SWEET STREET SECURITIES LIMITED Dissolved
MORCO SECURITIES LIMITED Dissolved
FILESPIN LIMITED Dissolved
MORCO INDUSTRIES LIMITED Dissolved
IMJACK PLC In Liquidation (Director Resigned)
DOGS B LIMITED Active (Director Resigned)
NOVCOM LIMITED Dissolved (Director Resigned)
MINORPLANET LIMITED In Liquidation (Director Resigned)
MINORPLANET SYSTEMS PLC In Administration (Director Resigned)
MINORPLANET SYSTEMS USA LIMITED Dissolved (Director Resigned)
MODEM NETWORK LIMITED Dissolved (Director Resigned)
CAREN (292) LIMITED Dissolved (Director Resigned)
TITANBASE LIMITED Dissolved (Director Resigned)
WAVERLEY SQUARE SECURITIES LIMITED Dissolved (Director Resigned)
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Then the Elephant’s Child grew all breathless, and panted, and kneeled down on the bank and said, ‘You are the very person I have been looking for all these long days. Will you please tell me what you have for dinner?’
‘Come hither, Little One,’ said the Crocodile, ‘and I’ll whisper.’
Then the Elephant’s Child put his head down close to the Crocodile’s musky, tusky mouth, and the Crocodile caught him by his little nose, which up to that very week, day, hour, and minute, had been no bigger than a boot, though much more useful.
‘I think, said the Crocodile–and he said it between his teeth, like this–’I think to-day I will begin with Elephant’s Child!’
At this, O Best Beloved, the Elephant’s Child was much annoyed, and he said, speaking through his nose, like this, ‘Led go! You are hurtig be!’
Then the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake scuffled down from the bank and said, ‘My young friend, if you do not now, immediately and instantly, pull as hard as ever you can, it is my opinion that your acquaintance in the large-pattern leather ulster’ (and by this he meant the Crocodile) ‘will jerk you into yonder limpid stream before you can say Jack Robinson.’
This is the way Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snakes always talk.
Then the Elephant’s Child sat back on his little haunches, and pulled, and pulled, and pulled, and his nose began to stretch. And the Crocodile floundered into the water, making it all creamy with great sweeps of his tail, and he pulled, and pulled, and pulled.
And the Elephant’s Child’s nose kept on stretching; and the Elephant’s Child spread all his little four legs and pulled, and pulled, and pulled, and his nose kept on stretching; and the Crocodile threshed his tail like an oar, and he pulled, and pulled, and pulled, and at each pull the Elephant’s Child’s nose grew longer and longer–and it hurt him hijjus!
Then the Elephant’s Child felt his legs slipping, and he said through his nose, which was now nearly five feet long, ‘This is too butch for be!’
Then the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake came down from the bank, and knotted himself in a double-clove-hitch round the Elephant’s Child’s hind legs, and said, ‘Rash and inexperienced traveller, we will now seriously devote ourselves to a little high tension, because if we do not, it is my impression that yonder self-propelling man-of-war with the armour-plated upper deck’ (and by this, O Best Beloved, he meant the Crocodile), ‘will permanently vitiate your future career.
That is the way all Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snakes always talk.
So he pulled, and the Elephant’s Child pulled, and the Crocodile pulled; but the Elephant’s Child and the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake pulled hardest; and at last the Crocodile let go of the Elephant’s Child’s nose with a plop that you could hear all up and down the Limpopo.
Then the Elephant’s Child sat down most hard and sudden; but first he was careful to say ‘Thank you’ to the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake; and next he was kind to his poor pulled nose, and wrapped it all up in cool banana leaves, and hung it in the great grey-green, greasy Limpopo to cool.
‘What are you doing that for?’ said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake.
”Scuse me,’ said the Elephant’s Child, ‘but my nose is badly out of shape, and I am waiting for it to shrink.
‘Then you will have to wait a long time, said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake. ‘Some people do not know what is good for them.’
The Elephant’s Child sat there for three days waiting for his nose to shrink. But it never grew any shorter, and, besides, it made him squint. For, O Best Beloved, you will see and understand that the Crocodile had pulled it out into a really truly trunk same as all Elephants have to-day.
At the end of the third day a fly came and stung him on the shoulder, and before he knew what he was doing he lifted up his trunk and hit that fly dead with the end of it.
”Vantage number one!’ said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake. ‘You couldn’t have done that with a mere-smear nose. Try and eat a little now.’
Before he thought what he was doing the Elephant’s Child put out his trunk and plucked a large bundle of grass, dusted it clean against his fore-legs, and stuffed it into his own mouth.
‘Vantage number two!’ said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake. ‘You couldn’t have done that with a mear-smear nose. Don’t you think the sun is very hot here?’
‘It is,’ said the Elephant’s Child, and before he thought what he was doing he schlooped up a schloop of mud from the banks of the great grey-green, greasy Limpopo, and slapped it on his head, where it made a cool schloopy-sloshy mud-cap all trickly behind his ears.
‘Vantage number three!’ said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake. ‘You couldn’t have done that with a mere-smear nose. Now how do you feel about being spanked again?’
”Scuse me,’ said the Elephant’s Child, ‘but I should not like it at all.’
‘How would you like to spank somebody?’ said the Bi- Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake.
‘I should like it very much indeed,’ said the Elephant’s Child.
‘Well,’ said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake, ‘you will find that new nose of yours very useful to spank people with.’
‘Thank you,’ said the Elephant’s Child, ‘I’ll remember that; and now I think I’ll go home to all my dear families and try.’
So the Elephant’s Child went home across Africa frisking and whisking his trunk. When he wanted fruit to eat he pulled fruit down from a tree, instead of waiting for it to fall as he used to do. When he wanted grass he plucked grass up from the ground, instead of going on his knees as he used to do. When the flies bit him he broke off the branch of a tree and used it as fly-whisk; and he made himself a new, cool, slushy-squshy mud-cap whenever the sun was hot. When he felt lonely walking through Africa he sang to himself down his trunk, and the noise was louder than several brass bands.
He went especially out of his way to find a broad Hippopotamus (she was no relation of his), and he spanked her very hard, to make sure that the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake had spoken the truth about his new trunk. The rest of the time he picked up the melon rinds that he had dropped on his way to the Limpopo–for he was a Tidy Pachyderm.
One dark evening he came back to all his dear families, and he coiled up his trunk and said, ‘How do you do?’ They were very glad to see him, and immediately said, ‘Come here and be spanked for your ‘satiable curtiosity.’
‘Pooh,’ said the Elephant’s Child. ‘I don’t think you peoples know anything about spanking; but I do, and I’ll show you.’ Then he uncurled his trunk and knocked two of his dear brothers head over heels.
‘O Bananas!’ said they, ‘where did you learn that trick, and what have you done to your nose?’
‘I got a new one from the Crocodile on the banks of the great grey-green, greasy Limpopo River,’ said the Elephant’s Child. ‘I asked him what he had for dinner, and he gave me this to keep.’
‘It looks very ugly,’ said his hairy uncle, the Baboon.
‘It does,’ said the Elephant’s Child. ‘But it’s very useful,’ and he picked up his hairy uncle, the Baboon, by one hairy leg, and hove him into a hornet’s nest.
Then that bad Elephant’s Child spanked all his dear families for a long time, till they were very warm and greatly astonished. He pulled out his tall Ostrich aunt’s tail-feathers; and he caught his tall uncle, the Giraffe, by the hind-leg, and dragged him through a thorn-bush; and he shouted at his broad aunt, the Hippopotamus, and blew bubbles into her ear when she was sleeping in the water after meals; but he never let any one touch Kolokolo Bird.
At last things grew so exciting that his dear families went off one by one in a hurry to the banks of the great grey-green, greasy Limpopo River, all set about with fever-trees, to borrow new noses from the Crocodile. When they came back nobody spanked anybody any more; and ever since that day, O Best Beloved, all the Elephants you will ever see, besides all those that you won’t, have trunks precisely like the trunk of the ‘satiable Elephant’s Child.
There was once a merchant who was so rich that he could have paved the whole street, and perhaps even a little side-street besides, with silver. But he did not do that; he knew another way of spending his money. If he spent a shilling he got back a florin-such an excellent merchant he was till he died.
Now his son inherited all this money. He lived very merrily; he went every night to the theatre, made paper kites out of five-pound notes, and played ducks and drakes with sovereigns instead of stones. In this way the money was likely to come soon to an end, and so it did.
At last he had nothing left but four shillings, and he had no clothes except a pair of slippers and an old dressing-gown.
His friends did not trouble themselves any more about him; they would not even walk down the street with him.
But one of them who was rather good-natured sent him an old trunk with the message, ‘Pack up!” That was all very well, but he had nothing to pack up, so he got into the trunk himself.
It was an enchanted trunk, for as soon as the lock was pressed it could fly. He pressed it, and away he flew in it up the chimney, high into the clouds, further and further away. But whenever the bottom gave a little creak he was in terror lest the trunk should go to pieces, for then he would have turned a dreadful somersault-just think of it!
In this way he arrived at the land of the Turks. He hid the trunk in a wood under some dry leaves, and then walked into the town. He could do that quite well, for all the Turks were dressed just as he was-in a dressing-gown and slippers.
He met a nurse with a little child.
‘Halloa! you Turkish nurse,’ said he, ‘what is that great castle there close to the town? The one with the windows so high up?’
‘The sultan’s daughter lives there,’ she replied. ‘It is prophesied that she will be very unlucky in her husband, and so no one is allowed to see her except when the sultan and sultana are by.’
‘Thank you,’ said the merchant’s son, and he went into the wood, sat himself in his trunk, flew on to the roof, and crept through the window into the princess’s room.
She was lying on the sofa asleep, and was so beautiful that the young merchant had to kiss her. Then she woke up and was very much frightened, but he said he was a Turkish god who had come through the air to see her, and that pleased her very much.
They sat close to each other, and he told her a story about her eyes. They were beautiful dark lakes in which her thoughts swam about like mermaids. And her forehead was a snowy mountain, grand and shining. These were lovely stories.
Then he asked the princess to marry him, and she said yes at once.
‘But you must come here on Saturday,’ she said, ‘for then the sultan and the sultana are coming to tea with me. They will be indeed proud that I receive the god of the Turks. But mind you have a really good story ready, for my parents like them immensely. My mother likes something rather moral and high-flown, and my father likes something merry to make him laugh.’
‘Yes, I shall only bring a fairy story for my dowry,’ said he, and so they parted. But the princess gave him a sabre set with gold pieces which he could use.
Then he flew away, bought himself a new dressing-gown, and sat down in the wood and began to make up a story, for it had to be ready by Saturday, and that was no easy matter.
When he had it ready it was Saturday.
The sultan, the sultana, and the whole court were at tea with the princess.
He was most graciously received.
‘Will you tell us a story?’ said the sultana; ‘one that is thoughtful and instructive?’
‘But something that we can laugh at,’ said the sultan.
‘Oh, certainly,’ he replied, and began: ‘Now, listen attentively. There was once a box of matches which lay between a tinder-box and an old iron pot, and they told the story of their youth.
‘”We used to be on the green fir-boughs. Every morning and evening we had diamond-tea, which was the dew, and the whole day long we had sunshine, and the little birds used to tell us stories. We were very rich, because the other trees only dressed in summer, but we had green dresses in summer and in winter. Then the woodcutter came, and our family was split up. We have now the task of making light for the lowest people. That is why we grand people are in the kitchen.”
‘”My fate was quite different,” said the iron pot, near which the matches lay.
‘”Since I came into the world I have been many times scoured, and have cooked much. My only pleasure is to have a good chat with my companions when I am lying nice and clean in my place after dinner.”
‘”Now you are talking too fast,” spluttered the fire.
‘”Yes, let us decide who is the grandest!” said the matches.
‘”No, I don’t like talking about myself,” said the pot.
‘”Let us arrange an evening’s entertainment. I will tell the story of my life.
‘”On the Baltic by the Danish shore-”
‘What a beautiful beginning!” said all the plates. “That’s a story that will please us all.”
‘And the end was just as good as the beginning. All the plates clattered for joy.
‘”Now I will dance,” said the tongs, and she danced. Oh! how high she could kick!
‘The old chair-cover in the corner split when he saw her.
‘The urn would have sung but she said she had a cold; she could not sing unless she boiled.
‘In the window was an old quill pen. There was nothing remarkable about her except that she had been dipped too deeply into the ink. But she was very proud of that.
‘”If the urn will not sing,” said she, “outside the door hangs a nightingale in a cage who will sing.”
‘”I don’t think it’s proper,” said the kettle, “that such a foreign bird should be heard.”
‘”Oh, let us have some acting,” said everyone. “Do let us!”
‘Suddenly the door opened and the maid came in. Everyone was quite quiet. There was not a sound. But each pot knew what he might have done, and how grand he was.
‘The maid took the matches and lit the fire with them. How they spluttered and flamed, to be sure! “Now everyone can see,” they thought, “that we are the grandest! How we sparkle! What a light-”
‘But here they were burnt out.’
‘That was a delightful story!’ said the sultana. ‘I quite feel myself in the kitchen with the matches. Yes, now you shall marry our daughter.’
‘Yes, indeed,’ said the sultan, ‘you shall marry our daughter on Monday.’ And they treated the young man as one of the family.
The wedding was arranged, and the night before the whole town was illuminated.
Biscuits and gingerbreads were thrown among the people, the street boys stood on tiptoe crying hurrahs and whistling through their fingers. It was all splendid.
‘Now I must also give them a treat,’ thought the merchant’s son. And so he bought rockets, crackers, and all the kinds of fireworks you can think of, put them in his trunk, and flew up with them into the air.
Whirr-r-r, how they fizzed and blazed!
All the Turks jumped so high that their slippers flew above their heads; such a splendid glitter they had never seen before.
Now they could quite well understand that it was the god of the Turks himself who was to marry the princess.
As soon as the young merchant came down again into the wood with his trunk he thought, ‘Now I will just go into the town to see how the show has taken.’
And it was quite natural that he should want to do this.
Oh! what stories the people had to tell!
Each one whom he asked had seen it differently, but they had all found it beautiful.
‘I saw the Turkish god himself,’ said one. ‘He had eyes like glittering stars, and a beard like foaming water.’
‘He flew away in a cloak of fire,’ said another. They were splendid things that he heard, and the next day was to be his wedding day.
Then he went back into the wood to sit in his trunk; but what had become of it? The trunk had been burnt. A spark of the fireworks had set it alight, and the trunk was in ashes. He could no longer fly, and could never reach his bride.
She stood the whole day long on the roof and waited; perhaps she is waiting there still.
But he wandered through the world and told stories; though they are not so merry as the one he told about the matches.
IN a town in Persia there dwelt two brothers, one named Cassim, the other Ali Baba. Cassim was married to a rich wife and lived in plenty, while Ali Baba had to maintain his wife and children by cutting wood in a neighboring forest and selling it in the town. One day, when Ali Baba was in the forest, he saw a troop of men on horseback, coming toward him in a cloud of dust. He was afraid they were robbers, and climbed into a tree for safety. When they came up to him and dismounted, he counted forty of them. They unbridled their horses and tied them to trees. The finest man among them, whom Ali Baba took to be their captain, went a little way among some bushes, and said: “Open, Sesame!”[1] so plainly that Ali Baba heard him. A door opened in the rocks, and having made the troop go in, he followed them, and the door shut again of itself. They stayed some time inside, and Ali Baba, fearing they might come out and catch him, was forced to sit patiently in the tree. At last the door opened again, and the Forty Thieves came out. As the Captain went in last he came out first, and made them all pass by him; he then closed the door, saying: “Shut, Sesame!” Every man bridled his horse and mounted, the Captain put himself at their head, and they returned as they came.
Then Ali Baba climbed down and went to the door concealed among the bushes, and said: “Open, Sesame!” and it flew open. Ali Baba, who expected a dull, dismal place, was greatly surprised to find it large and well lighted, hollowed by the hand of man in the form of a vault, which received the light from an opening in the ceiling. He saw rich bales of merchandise–silk, stuff-brocades, all piled together, and gold and silver in heaps, and money in leather purses. He went in and the door shut behind him. He did not look at the silver, but brought out as many bags of gold as he thought his asses, which were browsing outside, could carry, loaded them with the bags, and hid it all with fagots. Using the words: “Shut, Sesame!” he closed the door and went home.
Then he drove his asses into the yard, shut the gates, carried the money-bags to his wife, and emptied them out before her. He bade her keep the secret, and he would go and bury the gold. “Let me first measure it,” said his wife. “I will go borrow a measure of someone, while you dig the hole.” So she ran to the wife of Cassim and borrowed a measure. Knowing Ali Baba’s poverty, the sister was curious to find out what sort of grain his wife wished to measure, and artfully put some suet at the bottom of the measure. Ali Baba’s wife went home and set the measure on the heap of gold, and filled it and emptied it often, to her great content. She then carried it back to her sister, without noticing that a piece of gold was sticking to it, which Cassim’s wife perceived directly her back was turned. She grew very curious, and said to Cassim when he came home: “Cassim, your brother is richer than you. He does not count his money, he measures it.” He begged her to explain this riddle, which she did by showing him the piece of money and telling him where she found it. Then Cassim grew so envious that he could not sleep, and went to his brother in the morning before sunrise. “Ali Baba,” he said, showing him the gold piece, “you pretend to be poor and yet you measure gold.” By this Ali Baba perceived that through his wife’s folly Cassim and his wife knew their secret, so he confessed all and offered Cassim a share. “That I expect,” said Cassim; “but I must know where to find the treasure, otherwise I will discover all, and you will lose all.” Ali Baba, more out of kindness than fear, told him of the cave, and the very words to use. Cassim left Ali Baba, meaning to be beforehand with him and get the treasure for himself. He rose early next morning, and set out with ten mules loaded with great chests. He soon found the place, and the door in the rock. He said: “Open, Sesame!” and the door opened and shut behind him. He could have feasted his eyes all day on the treasures, but he now hastened to gather together as much of it as possible; but when he was ready to go he could not remember what to say for thinking of his great riches. Instead of “Sesame,” he said: “Open, Barley!” and the door remained fast. He named several different sorts of grain, all but the right one, and the door still stuck fast. He was so frightened at the danger he was in that he had as much forgotten the word as if he had never heard it.
About noon the robbers returned to their cave, and saw Cassim’s mules roving about with great chests on their backs. This gave them the alarm; they drew their sabres, and went to the door, which opened on their Captain’s saying: “Open, Sesame!” Cassim, who had heard the trampling of their horses’ feet, resolved to sell his life dearly, so when the door opened he leaped out and threw the Captain down. In vain, however, for the robbers with their sabres soon killed him. On entering the cave they saw all the bags laid ready, and could not imagine how anyone had got in without knowing their secret. They cut Cassim’s body into four quarters, and nailed them up inside the cave, in order to frighten anyone who should venture in, and went away in search of more treasure.
As night drew on Cassim’s wife grew very uneasy, and ran to her brother-in-law, and told him where her husband had gone. Ali Baba did his best to comfort her, and set out to the forest in search of Cassim. The first thing he saw on entering the cave was his dead brother. Full of horror, he put the body on one of his asses, and bags of gold on the other two, and, covering all with some fagots, returned home. He drove the two asses laden with gold into his own yard, and led the other to Cassim’s house. The door was opened by the slave Morgiana, whom he knew to be both brave and cunning. Unloading the ass, he said to her: “This is the body of your master, who has been murdered, but whom we must bury as though he had died in his bed. I will speak with you again, but now tell your mistress I am come.” The wife of Cassim, on learning the fate of her husband, broke out into cries and tears, but Ali Baba offered to take her to live with him and his wife if she would promise to keep his counsel and leave everything to Morgiana; whereupon she agreed, and dried her eyes.
Morgiana, meanwhile, sought an apothecary and asked him for some lozenges. “My poor master,” she said, “can neither eat nor speak, and no one knows what his distemper is.” She carried home the lozenges and returned next day weeping, and asked for an essence only given to those just about to die. Thus, in the evening, no one was surprised to hear the wretched shrieks and cries of Cassim’s wife and Morgiana, telling everyone that Cassim was dead. The day after Morgiana went to an old cobbler near the gates of the town who opened his stall early, put a piece of gold in his hand, and bade him follow her with his needle and thread. Having bound his eyes with a handkerchief, she took him to the room where the body lay, pulled off the bandage, and bade him sew the quarters together, after which she covered his eyes again and led him home. Then they buried Cassim, and Morgiana his slave followed him to the grave, weeping and tearing her hair, while Cassim’s wife stayed at home uttering lamentable cries. Next day she went to live with Ali Baba, who gave Cassim’s shop to his eldest son.
The Forty Thieves, on their return to the cave, were much astonished to find Cassim’s body gone and some of their money-bags. “We are certainly discovered,” said the Captain, “and shall be undone if we cannot find out who it is that knows our secret. Two men must have known it; we have killed one, we must now find the other. To this end one of you who is bold and artful must go into the city dressed as a traveler, and discover whom we have killed, and whether men talk of the strange manner of his death. If the messenger fails he must lose his life, lest we be betrayed.” One of the thieves started up and offered to do this, and after the rest had highly commended him for his bravery he disguised himself, and happened to enter the town at daybreak, just by Baba Mustapha’s stall. The thief bade him good-day, saying: “Honest man, how can you possibly see to stitch at your age?” “Old as I am,” replied the cobbler, “I have very good eyes, and will you believe me when I tell you that I sewed a dead body together in a place where I had less light than I have now.” The robber was overjoyed at his good fortune, and, giving him a piece of gold, desired to be shown the house where he stitched up the dead body. At first Mustapha refused, saying that he had been blindfolded; but when the robber gave him another piece of gold he began to think he might remember the turnings if blindfolded as before. This means succeeded; the robber partly led him, and was partly guided by him, right in front of Cassim’s house, the door of which the robber marked with a piece of chalk. Then, well pleased, he bade farewell to Baba Mustapha and returned to the forest. By and by Morgiana, going out, saw the mark the robber had made, quickly guessed that some mischief was brewing, and fetching a piece of chalk marked two or three doors on each side, without saying anything to her master or mistress.
The thief, meantime, told his comrades of his discovery. The Captain thanked him, and bade him show him the house he had marked. But when they came to it they saw that five or six of the houses were chalked in the same manner. The guide was so confounded that he knew not what answer to make, and when they returned he was at once beheaded for having failed. Another robber was dispatched, and, having won over Baba Mustapha, marked the house in red chalk; but Morgiana being again too clever for them, the second messenger was put to death also. The Captain now resolved to go himself, but, wiser than the others, he did not mark the house, but looked at it so closely that he could not fail to remember it. He returned, and ordered his men to go into the neighboring villages and buy nineteen mules, and thirty-eight leather jars, all empty except one, which was full of oil. The Captain put one of his men, fully armed, into each, rubbing the outside of the jars with oil from the full vessel. Then the nineteen mules were loaded with thirty-seven robbers in jars, and the jar of oil, and reached the town by dusk. The Captain stopped his mules in front of Ali Baba’s house, and said to Ali Baba, who was sitting outside for coolness: “I have brought some oil from a distance to sell at to-morrow’s market, but it is now so late that I know not where to pass the night, unless you will do me the favor to take me in.” Though Ali Baba had seen the Captain of the robbers in the forest, he did not recognize him in the disguise of an oil merchant. He bade him welcome, opened his gates for the mules to enter, and went to Morgiana to bid her prepare a bed and supper for his guest. He brought the stranger into his hall, and after they had supped went again to speak to Morgiana in the kitchen, while the Captain went into the yard under pretense of seeing after his mules, but really to tell his men what to do. Beginning at the first jar and ending at the last, he said to each man: “As soon as I throw some stones from the window of the chamber where I lie, cut the jars open with your knives and come out, and I will be with you in a trice.” He returned to the house, and Morgiana led him to his chamber. She then told Abdallah, her fellow-slave, to set on the pot to make some broth for her master, who had gone to bed. Meanwhile her lamp went out, and she had no more oil in the house. “Do not be uneasy,” said Abdallah; “go into the yard and take some out of one of those jars.” Morgiana thanked him for his advice, took the oil pot, and went into the yard. When she came to the first jar the robber inside said softly: “Is it time?”
Any other slave but Morgiana, on finding a man in the jar instead of the oil she wanted, would have screamed and made a noise; but she, knowing the danger her master was in, bethought herself of a plan, and answered quietly: “Not yet, but presently.” She went to all the jars, giving the same answer, till she came to the jar of oil. She now saw that her master, thinking to entertain an oil merchant, had let thirty-eight robbers into his house. She filled her oil pot, went back to the kitchen, and, having lit her lamp, went again to the oil jar and filled a large kettle full of oil. When it boiled she went and poured enough oil into every jar to stifle and kill the robber inside. When this brave deed was done she went back to the kitchen, put out the fire and the lamp, and waited to see what would happen.
In a quarter of an hour the Captain of the robbers awoke, got up, and opened the window. As all seemed quiet, he threw down some little pebbles which hit the jars. He listened, and as none of his men seemed to stir he grew uneasy, and went down into the yard. On going to the first jar and saying, “Are you asleep?” he smelt the hot boiled oil, and knew at once that his plot to murder Ali Baba and his household had been discovered. He found all the gang was dead, and, missing the oil out of the last jar, became aware of the manner of their death. He then forced the lock of a door leading into a garden, and climbing over several walls made his escape. Morgiana heard and saw all this, and, rejoicing at her success, went to bed and fell asleep.
At daybreak Ali Baba arose, and, seeing the oil jars still there, asked why the merchant had not gone with his mules. Morgiana bade him look in the first jar and see if there was any oil. Seeing a man, he started back in terror. “Have no fear,” said Morgiana; “the man cannot harm you: he is dead.” Ali Baba, when he had recovered somewhat from his astonishment, asked what had become of the merchant. “Merchant!” said she, “he is no more a merchant than I am!” and she told him the whole story, assuring him that it was a plot of the robbers of the forest, of whom only three were left, and that the white and red chalk marks had something to do with it. Ali Baba at once gave Morgiana her freedom, saying that he owed her his life. They then buried the bodies in Ali Baba’s garden, while the mules were sold in the market by his slaves.
The Captain returned to his lonely cave, which seemed frightful to him without his lost companions, and firmly resolved to avenge them by killing Ali Baba. He dressed himself carefully, and went into the town, where he took lodgings in an inn. In the course of a great many journeys to the forest he carried away many rich stuffs and much fine linen, and set up a shop opposite that of Ali Baba’s son. He called himself Cogia Hassan, and as he was both civil and well dressed he soon made friends with Ali Baba’s son, and through him with Ali Baba, whom he was continually asking to sup with him. Ali Baba, wishing to return his kindness, invited him into his house and received him smiling, thanking him for his kindness to his son. When the merchant was about to take his leave Ali Baba stopped him, saying: “Where are you going, sir, in such haste? Will you not stay and sup with me?” The merchant refused, saying that he had a reason; and, on Ali Baba’s asking him what that was, he replied: “It is, sir, that I can eat no victuals that have any salt in them.” “If that is all,” said Ali Baba, “let me tell you that there shall be no salt in either the meat or the bread that we eat to-night.” He went to give this order to Morgiana, who was much surprised. “Who is this man,” she said, “who eats no salt with his meat?” “He is an honest man, Morgiana,” returned her master; “therefore do as I bid you.” But she could not withstand a desire to see this strange man, so she helped Abdallah to carry up the dishes, and saw in a moment that Cogia Hassan was the robber Captain, and carried a dagger under his garment. “I am not surprised,” she said to herself, “that this wicked man, who intends to kill my master, will eat no salt with him; but I will hinder his plans.”
She sent up the supper by Abdallah, while she made ready for one of the boldest acts that could be thought on. When the dessert had been served, Cogia Hassan was left alone with Ali Baba and his son, whom he thought to make drunk and then to murder them. Morgiana, meanwhile, put on a head-dress like a dancing-girl’s, and clasped a girdle round her waist, from which hung a dagger with a silver hilt, and said to Abdallah: “Take your tabor, and let us go and divert our master and his guest.” Abdallah took his tabor and played before Morgiana until they came to the door, where Abdallah stopped playing and Morgiana made a low courtesy. “Come in, Morgiana,” said Ali Baba, “and let Cogia Hassan see what you can do”; and, turning to Cogia Hassan, he said: “She’s my slave and my housekeeper.” Cogia Hassan was by no means pleased, for he feared that his chance of killing Ali Baba was gone for the present; but he pretended great eagerness to see Morgiana, and Abdallah began to play and Morgiana to dance. After she had performed several dances she drew her dagger and made passes with it, sometimes pointing it at her own breast, sometimes at her master’s, as if it were part of the dance. Suddenly, out of breath, she snatched the tabor from Abdallah with her left hand, and, holding the dagger in her right hand, held out the tabor to her master. Ali Baba and his son put a piece of gold into it, and Cogia Hassan, seeing that she was coming to him, pulled out his purse to make her a present, but while he was putting his hand into it Morgiana plunged the dagger into his heart.
“Unhappy girl!” cried Ali Baba and his son, “what have you done to ruin us?”
“It was to preserve you, master, not to ruin you,” answered Morgiana. “See here,” opening the false merchant’s garment and showing the dagger; “see what an enemy you have entertained! Remember, he would eat no salt with you, and what more would you have? Look at him! he is both the false oil merchant and the Captain of the Forty Thieves.”
Ali Baba was so grateful to Morgiana for thus saving his life that he offered her to his son in marriage, who readily consented, and a few days after the wedding was celebrated with greatest splendor.
At the end of a year Ali Baba, hearing nothing of the two remaining robbers, judged they were dead, and set out to the cave. The door opened on his saying: “Open Sesame!” He went in, and saw that nobody had been there since the Captain left it. He brought away as much gold as he could carry, and returned to town. He told his son the secret of the cave, which his son handed down in his turn, so the children and grandchildren of Ali Baba were rich to the end of their lives.
ONCE there was a gentleman who married, for his second wife, the proudest and most haughty woman that was ever seen. She had been married before, and already had two daughters who were exactly like her in all things. He had likewise, by his first wife, a young daughter, but of unequalled goodness and sweetness of temper, which she took from her mother, who was the best creature in the world. This sweet little girl missed her mother, who had died, terribly much.
No sooner was the wedding ceremony over, than the new wife began to show herself in her true colors. She could not bear the goodness of the gentleman’s pretty girl, and especially as she made her own daughters appear the more horrid. She made her do the meanest jobs in the house: the girl scoured the dishes and tables, and scrubbed the stepmother’s bathroom, and those of her daughters; she slept in a little attic, upon a wretched straw bed, while her sisters lay upon beds with the softest pillows, in fine rooms, with floors covered with beautiful carpets, and walls on which hung looking-glasses so large that they might see themselves at their full length from head to foot.
The poor girl bore all patiently, and dared not tell her father, who would have been angry with her; for his new wife ruled him entirely. When the little girl had done her work, she used to go into the chimney-corner, and sit down among cinders and ashes, which led her to be called Cinderwench; but the youngest step-daughter, who was not quite so rude and unkind as the eldest, called her Cinderella. However, Cinderella, even though she was dressed in rags, was a hundred times prettier than her sisters, though they were always dressed very richly.
It happened that the King’s son gave a ball, and invited all finest gentlemen and ladies of the city. Our young misses were also invited, for they were always to be seen at fashionable parties. They were truly delighted at this invitation, and wonderfully busy in choosing such gowns, petticoats, and head-clothes as might suit them. This was a new trouble to Cinderella; for it was she who washed and ironed her sisters’ clothes and got all their things ready. Meanwhile, the sisters talked all day long of nothing but what they should wear to the ball.
“For my part,” said the eldest, “I will wear my red velvet suit with French trimming.”
“And I,” said the youngest, “shall have my usual petticoat; but then, to make amends for that, I will put on my gold-flowered gown, and my diamond belt, which is far from being the most ordinary one in the world.”
But in truth, they were still not absolutely sure what would be best to wear to the ball, so they sent for the best fashion designer they could find to advise on their evening dresses, and they had their nails maniqured at Mademoiselle de la Poche.
Cinderella was likewise called up to them for advice, for she had excellent judgement, and advised them always for the best, indeed, and offered her services to make up their hair, which they were very willing she should do. As she was doing this, they said to her:
“Cinderella, would you not be glad to go to the ball?”
“Alas!” said she, “you only jeer me; it is not for a poor girl like me to go there.”
“You’re quite right,” replied they; “it would make the people laugh to see a Cinderwench at a ball.”
Anyone but Cinderella would have dressed their heads all wrong, but she was very good, and dressed them perfectly well.
The step-sisters were almost two days without eating, so much were they thrilled and excited. They broke above a dozen corsettes in trying to be laced up tightly, so that they might have a fine slender shape, and they were continually at their looking-glass. At last the happy day came; they went to Court, and Cinderella followed them with her eyes as long as she could, and when she had lost sight of them, she fell a-crying.
Just then, her fairy-godmother, who used to watch-over her secretly, saw her all in tears, and appeared at her side and asked her what was the matter.
“I wish I could–I wish I could–”; she was not able to speak the rest, being interrupted by her tears and sobbing.
This fairy godmother of hers said to her, “You wish you could go to the ball; is it not so?”
“Y–es,” cried Cinderella, with a great sigh.
“Well,” said her godmother, “be but a good girl, and I will see that you shall go to the ball.” Then she took her into her secret room, and said to her, “Run into the garden, and bring me a pumpkin.”
Cinderella went immediately to gather the finest she could get, and brought it to her godmother, not being able to imagine how this pumpkin could make her go to the ball. Her godmother scooped out all the inside of the big vegitable, leaving nothing but the rind; which done, she struck it with her wand, and the pumpkin was instantly turned into a fine coach, gilded all over with gold.
She then went to look into her mouse-trap, where she found six mice, all alive, and ordered Cinderella to lift up a little the trapdoor. As each mouse went out, she gave it a little tap with her wand, and the mouse was that moment turned into a fine horse, which altogether made a very fine set of six horses of a beautiful mouse-colored dapple-gray. But they still needed a coachman,
“I will go and see,” says Cinderella, “if there is a rat in the rat-trap–we may make a coachman of him.”
“You’re a smart one,” replied her godmother; “go and look.”
Cinderella brought the trap to her, and in it there were three huge rats. The fairy made choice of one of the three which had the largest beard, and, having touched him with her wand, he was turned into a fat, jolly coach- man, who had the smartest whiskers eyes ever beheld. After that, she said to her:
“Go again into the garden, and you will find six lizards behind the watering-pot, bring them to me.”
She had no sooner done so but her godmother turned them into six footmen, who skipped up immediately behind the coach, with their uniforms all bedaubed with gold and silver, and clung as close behind each other as if they had done nothing else their whole lives. The Fairy then said to Cinderella:
“Well, you have here transport fit to take you to the ball; are you not pleased with it?”
“Oh! yes,” cried she; “but must I go there as I am, in these nasty rags?”
Her godmother only just touched her with her wand, and, at the same instant, her clothes were turned into cloth of gold and silver, all beset with jewels. This done, she gave her a pair of glass slippers, the prettiest in the whole world. Being thus decked out, she got up into her coach; but her godmother, above all things, commanded her not to stay till after midnight, telling her, at the same time, that if she stayed one moment longer, the coach would be a pumpkin again, her horses mice, her coachman a rat, her footmen lizards, and her clothes become just as they were before.
She promised her godmother she would not fail of leaving the ball before midnight; and then away she drives, scarce able to contain herself for joy. The King’s son who was told that a great princess, whom nobody knew, was come, ran out to receive her; he gave her his hand as she alighted out of the coach, and led her into the ball, among all the company. There was immediately a profound silence, they left off dancing, and the violins ceased to play, so attentive was everyone to contemplate the singular beauties of the unknown new-comer. Nothing was then heard but a confused noise of:
“Ha! how lovey she is! Ha! how lovely she is!”
The King himself, old as he was, could not help watching her, and telling the Queen softly that it was a long time since he had seen so beautiful and lovely a creature.
All the ladies were busied in considering her clothes and headdress, that they might have some made next day after the same pattern, provided they could meet with such fine material and as able hands to make them.
The King’s son led her to the most honorable seat, and afterward took her out to dance with him; she danced so very gracefully that they all more and more admired her. A fine banquet was served up, of which the young prince ate not a morsel, so intently was he busied in gazing on her.
She went and sat down by her sisters, showing them a thousand polite gestures, giving them part of the oranges and lemon blosoms which the Prince had presented her with, which very much surprised them, for they did not recognise her. While Cinderella was thus amusing her sisters, she heard the clock strike eleven and three-quarters, whereupon she immediately made a courtesy to the company and hasted away as fast as she could.
When she got home she ran to seek out her godmother, and, after having thanked her, she said she could not but heartily wish she might go next day to the ball, because the King’s son had desired her.
As she was eagerly telling her godmother whatever had passed at the ball, her two sisters knocked at the door, which Cinderella ran and opened.
“How long you have stayed!” cried she, gaping, rubbing her eyes and stretching herself as if she had been just waked out of her sleep; she had not, however, any manner of inclination to sleep since they went from home.
“If you had been at the ball,” said one of her sisters, “you would not have been tired with it. There came there the finest princess, the most beautiful ever was seen with mortal eyes; she was a thousand times nice to us, and gave us orange and lemon blossoms.”
Cinderella seemed very indifferent in the matter; indeed, she asked them the name of that princess; but they told her they did not know it, and that the King’s son was very uneasy on her account and would give all the world to know who she was. At this Cinderella, smiling, replied:
“She must, then, be very beautiful indeed; how happy you have been! Could not I see her? Ah! dear Miss Charlotte, do lend me your yellow suit of clothes which you wear every day.”
“Ay, to be sure!” cried Miss Charlotte; “lend my clothes to such a dirty Cinderwench as you! I should be a fool.”
Cinderella, indeed, expected well such answer, and was very glad of the refusal; for she would have been sadly put to it if her sister had lent her what she asked for jokingly.
The next day the two sisters were at the ball, and so was Cinderella, but dressed more magnificently than before. The King’s son was always by her, and never ceased his compliments and kind speeches to her; to whom all this was so far from being tiresome that she quite forgot what her godmother had recommended to her; so that she, at last, counted the clock striking twelve when she took it to be no more than eleven; she then rose up and fled, as nimble as a deer. The Prince followed, but could not overtake her. She left behind one of her glass slippers, which the Prince took up most carefully. She got home but quite out of breath, and in her nasty old clothes, having nothing left her of all her finery but one of the little slippers, fellow to that she dropped. The guards at the palace gate were asked: If they had not seen a princess go out. They replied that had seen nobody go out but a young girl, very meanly dressed, and who had more the air of a poor country wench than a gentlewoman.
When the two sisters returned from the ball Cinderella asked them: If they had been well diverted, and if the fine lady had been there.
They told her: Yes, but that she hurried away immediately when it struck twelve, and with so much haste that she dropped one of her little glass slippers, the prettiest in the world, which the King’s son had taken up; that he had done nothing but look at her all the time at the ball, and that most certainly he was very much in love with the beautiful person who owned the glass slipper.
What they said was very true; for a few days after the King’s son commanded it to be proclaimed, by sound of trumpet, that he would marry the young woman whose foot would perfectly fit the slipper. He sent out his most trusted advsiers from the palace, who began to try it upon the princesses, then the duchesses and all the Court, but in vain; it was brought to the two sisters, who each did all that she possibly could to thrust her foot into the slipper, but neither sister could manage to do so. Cinderella, who saw all this, and knew her slipper, said to them, laughing:
“Let me see if it will not fit me.”
Her sisters burst out a-laughing, and began to tease her. The gentleman who was sent to try the slipper looked earnestly at Cinderella, and, finding her very handsome, said: it was only right that that she should try, and that he had orders to let every girl try.
He asked Cinderella to sit down, and, putting the slipper to her foot, he found it went on very easily, and fitted her as if it had been made of wax. The astonishment her two sisters were in was excessively great, but still abundantly greater when Cinderella pulled out of her pocket the other slipper, and put it on her foot. Thereupon, in came her godmother, who, having touched with her wand Cinderella’s clothes, made them richer and more magnificent than any of those she had before.
And now her two sisters found her to be that fine, beautiful lady whom they had seen at the ball. They threw themselves at her feet to beg pardon for all the ill- treatment they had dished out to her. Cinderella took them up, and, as she embraced them, cried:
That she forgave them with all her heart, and desired them always to love her.
She was brought by carriage to the young prince, dressed as she was; he thought her more charming than ever, and, a few days after, married her. Cinderella, who was no less good than beautiful, gave her two sisters rooms in the palace, and that very same day matched them with two great lords of the Court.
A cat got to know a mouse, and spoke so much of the great love and friendship she felt for her, that at last the Mouse agreed to live in the same house with her, and to go shares in the housekeeping. ‘But we must store up food for the winter or else we shall be hungry,’ said the Cat. ‘And You, little Mouse, cannot venture everywhere in case you run into a trap.’ This good advice was followed, and a little pot of fat was bought. But they did not know where to put it. At length, after long discussion, the Cat said, ‘I know of no place where it could be better put than in the church. No one will trouble to take it away from there. We will hide it in a corner, and we won’t touch it till we really need it.’ So the little pot was placed in safety; but it was not long before the Cat had a great longing for it, and said to the Mouse, ‘I wanted to tell you, little Mouse, that my cousin has a little son, white with brown spots, and she wants me to be godmother to that little kitten. Let me go out to-day, and do you take care of the house alone.’
‘Yes, go certainly,’ replied the Mouse, ‘and when you eat anything good, think of me; I should very much like a drop of the red christening wine.’
But it was all untrue. The Cat had no cousin, and had not been asked to be godmother. She went straight to the church, slunk to the little pot of fat, began to lick it, and licked the top off. Then she took a walk on the roofs of the town, looked at the view, stretched herself out in the sun, and licked her lips whenever she thought of the little pot of fat. As soon as it was evening she went home again.
‘Ah, here you are again!’ said the Mouse; ‘you must certainly have had an enjoyable day.’
‘It went off very well,’ answered the Cat.
‘What was the child’s name?’ asked the Mouse.
‘Top Off,’ said the Cat drily.
‘Topoff!’ echoed the Mouse, ‘it is indeed a wonderful and curious name. Are there others called Topoff in your family?’
‘What is there odd about it?’ said the Cat. ‘It is not worse than Breadthief, as your godchild is called.’
Not long after this another great longing came over the Cat. She said to the Mouse, ‘You must again be kind enough to look after the house alone, for I have been asked a second time to stand godmother, and as this kitten has a white ring round its neck, I cannot refuse.’
The kind Mouse agreed, but the Cat slunk under the town wall to the church, and ate up half of the pot of fat. ‘Nothing tastes better,’ said she, ‘than what one eats by oneself,’ and she was very much pleased with her day’s work. When she came home the Mouse asked, ‘What was this child called?’
‘Half Gone,’ answered the Cat.
‘Halfgone! what a name! I have never heard it in my life. I don’t believe it is in any book!’
Soon the Cat’s mouth began to water once more after her licking business. ‘All good things in threes,’ she said to the Mouse; ‘I have again to stand godmother. The child is quite black, and has very white paws, but not a single white hair on its body. This only happens once in two years, so you will let me go out?’
‘Topoff! Halfgone!’ repeated the Mouse, ‘they are such curious names; they make me very thoughtful.’
‘Oh, you sit at home in your dark grey coat and your long tail,’ said the Cat, ‘and you get fanciful. That comes of not going out in the day.’
The Mouse had a good cleaning out while the Cat was gone, and made the house tidy; but the greedy Cat ate the fat every bit up.
‘
When it is all gone one can be at rest,’ she said to herself, and at night she came home sleek and satisfied. The Mouse asked at once after the third child’s name.
‘It won’t please you any better,’ said the Cat, ‘he was called Clean Gone.’
‘Cleangone!’ repeated the Mouse. ‘I do not believe that name has been printed any more than the others. Cleangone! What can it mean?’ She shook her head, curled herself up, and went to sleep.
From this time on no one asked the Cat to stand godmother; but when the winter came and there was nothing to be got outside, the Mouse remembered their provision and said, ‘Come, Cat, we will go to our pot of fat which we have stored away; it will taste very good.’
‘Yes, indeed,’ answered the Cat; ‘ it will taste as good to you as if you stretched your thin tongue out of the window.’
They started off, and when they reached it they found the pot in its place, but quite empty!
‘Ah,’ said the Mouse,’ ‘now I know what has happened! It has all come out! You are a true friend to me! You have eaten it all when you stood godmother; first the top off, then half of it gone, then—-’
‘Will you be quiet!’ screamed the Cat. ‘Another word and I will eat you up.’
‘Cleangone’ was already on the poor Mouse’s tongue, and scarcely was it out than the Cat made a spring at her, seized and swallowed her.
You see that is the way of the world.
Hello Everybody, My Name’s natasha, and his Royal Highness Prince Bertie the Frog has commanded me to tell you the storynory of the Tin Solider, by Hans Christian Andersen [version by Andrew Lang]
But first, I’ll share a little gossip I picked up about Bertie. Once, when Bertie was still a prince, before he was turned into a frog, he tried to play with the soldiers who stood guard outside palace, but the Sergeant Major shouted him really loudly, and made his clean his boots and tidy his room, and after that Bertie decided to stick playing with toy soldiers. That’s a secret by the way, so don’t’ tell anyone. Now, Bertie’s asking me to get on with the story, so I had better begin the Storyory of the Steadfast Tin Soldier.
There were once upon a time five-and twenty tin-soldiers–all brothers, as they were made out of the same old tin spoon. Their uniform was red and blue, and they shouldered their guns and looked straight in front of them. The first words that they heard in this world, when the lid of the box in which they lay was taken off, were: ‘Hurrah, tin-soldiers!’ This was exclaimed by a little boy, clapping his hands; they had been given to him because it was his birthday, and now he began setting them out on the table. Each soldier was exactly like the other in shape, except just one, who had been made last when the tin had run short; but there he stood as firmly on his one leg as the others did on two, and he is the one that became famous.
There were many other playthings on the table on which they were being set out, but the nicest of all was a pretty little castle made of cardboard, with windows through which you could see into the rooms. In front of the castle stood some little trees surrounding a tiny mirror which looked like a lake. Wax swans were floating about and reflecting themselves in it. That was all very pretty; but the most beautiful thing was a little lady, who stood in the open doorway. She was cut out of paper, but she had on a dress of the finest muslin, with a scarf of narrow blue ribbon round her shoulders, fastened in the middle with a glittering rose made of gold paper, which was as large as her head. The little lady was stretching out both her arms, for she was a Dancer, and was lifting up one leg so high in the air that the Tin-soldier couldn’t find it anywhere, and thought that she, too, had only one leg.
‘That’s the wife for me!’ he thought; ‘but she is so grand, and lives in a castle, whilst I have only a box with four-and-twenty others. This is no place for her! But I must make her acquaintance.’ Then he stretched himself out behind a snuff-box that lay on the table; from thence he could watch the dainty little lady, who continued to stand on one leg without losing her balance.
When the night came all the other tin-soldiers went into their box, and the people of the house went to bed. Then the toys began to play at visiting, dancing, and fighting. The tin-soldiers rattled in their box, for they wanted to be out too, but they could not raise the lid. The nut-crackers played at leap-frog, and the chalk ran about the blackboard; there was such a noise that the canary woke up and began to talk to them, in poetry too! The only two who did not stir from their places were the Tin-soldier and the little Dancer. She remained on tip-toe, with both arms outstretched; he stood steadfastly on his one leg, never moving his eyes from her face.
The clock struck twelve, and crack! off flew the lid of the spice- box; but there were no spices inside, nor any hot curry powder, only a little imp–that was the beauty of it. Now an imp is a magical creature, a little like a fairy, only more naughty.
‘Hullo, Tin-soldier!’ said the imp. ‘Don’t look at things that aren’t intended for the likes of you!’ She meant that he shouldn’t look at the little dander.
But the Tin-soldier took no notice, and seemed not to hear.
‘Very well, wait till to-morrow!’ said the imp.
When it was morning, and the children had got up, the Tin-soldier was put in the window; and whether it was the wind or the little imp, I don’t know, but all at once the window flew open and out fell the little Tin-soldier, head over heels, from the third- storey window! That was a terrible fall, I can tell you! He landed on his head with his leg in the air, his gun being wedged between two paving-stones.
The nursery-maid and the little boy came down at once to look for him, but, though they were so near him that they almost trod on him, they did not notice him. If the Tin-soldier had only called out ‘Here I am!’ they must have found him; but he did not think it fitting for him to cry out, because he had on his uniform.
Soon it began to drizzle; then the drops came faster, and there was a regular down-pour. When it was over, two little street boys came along.
‘Just look!’ cried one. ‘Here is a Tin-soldier! He shall sail up and down in a boat!’
So they made a little boat out of newspaper, put the Tin-soldier in it, and made him sail up and down the gutter; both the boys ran along beside him, clapping their hands. What great waves there were in the gutter, and what a swift current! The paper-boat tossed up and down, and in the middle of the stream it went so quick that the Tin-soldier trembled; but he remained steadfast, showed no emotion, looked straight in front of him, shouldering his gun. All at once the boat passed under a long tunnel that was as dark as his box had been.
‘Where can I be coming now?’ he wondered. ‘Oh, dear! This is the imp’s fault! Ah, if only the little lady were sitting beside me in the boat, it might be twice as dark for all I should care!’
Suddenly there came along a great water-rat that lived in the tunnel.
‘Have you a passport?’ asked the rat. ‘Out with your passport!’
But the Tin-soldier was silent, and grasped his gun more firmly.
The boat sped on, and the rat behind it. Ugh! how he showed his teeth, as he cried to the chips of wood and straw: ‘Hold him, hold him! he has not paid the toll! He has not shown his passport!’
But the current became swifter and stronger. The Tin-soldier could already see daylight where the tunnel ended; but in his ears there sounded a roaring enough to frighten any brave man. Only think! at the end of the tunnel the gutter discharged itself into a great canal; that would be just as dangerous for him as it would be for us to go down a waterfall.
Now he was so near to it that he could not hold on any longer. On went the boat, the poor Tin-soldier keeping himself as stiff as he could: no one should say of him afterwards that he had flinched. The boat whirled three, four times round, and became filled to the brim with water: it began to sink! The Tin-soldier was standing up to his neck in water, and deeper and deeper sank the boat, and softer and softer grew the paper; now the water was over his head. He was thinking of the pretty little Dancer, whose face he should never see again, and there sounded in his ears, over and over again:
‘Forward, forward, soldier bold! Death’s before thee, grim and cold!’
The paper came in two, and the soldier fell–but at that moment he was swallowed by a great fish.
Oh! how dark it was inside, even darker than in the tunnel, and it was really very close quarters! But there the steadfast little Tin-soldier lay full length, shouldering his gun.
Up and down swam the fish, then he made the most dreadful contortions, and became suddenly quite still. Then it was as if a flash of lightning had passed through him; the daylight streamed in, and a voice exclaimed, ‘Why, here is the little Tin-soldier!’ The fish had been caught, taken to market, sold, and brought into the kitchen, where the cook had cut it open with a great knife. She took up the soldier between her finger and thumb, and carried him into the room, where everyone wanted to see the hero who had been found inside a fish; but the Tin-soldier was not at all proud. They put him on the table, and–no, but what strange things do happen in this world!–the Tin-soldier was in the same room in which he had been before! He saw the same children, and the same toys on the table; and there was the same grand castle with the pretty little Dancer. She was still standing on one leg with the other high in the air; she too was steadfast. That touched the Tin-soldier, he was nearly going to shed tin-tears; but that would not have been fitting for a soldier. He looked at her, but she said nothing.
All at once one of the little boys took up the Tin-soldier, and threw him into the stove, giving no reasons; but doubtless the imp in the spice-box was at the bottom of this too.
There the Tin-soldier lay, and felt a heat that was truly terrible; but whether he was suffering from actual fire, or from the ardour of his passion, he did not know. All his colour had disappeared; whether this had happened on his travels or whether it was the result of trouble, who can say? He looked at the little lady, she looked at him, and he felt that he was melting; but he remained steadfast, with his gun at his shoulder. Suddenly a door opened, the draught caught up the little Dancer, and off she flew like a fairy to the Tin-soldier in the stove, burst into flames–and that was the end of her! Then the Tin-soldier melted down into a little lump, and when next morning the maid was taking out the ashes, she found him in the shape of a heart. There was nothing left of the little Dancer but her gilt rose, burnt as black as a cinder.
And that’s the Storynory of The Steadfast Tin Soldier. I think the ending was rather sad, don’t you? He was such a brave little soldier. But not all stories have happy endings. Bertie says that when he was a prince, he always looked after all his toys, really carefully, and always put them away in their correct places. He would never lose a good little soldier like the one in the story.
ONCE upon a time there dwelt on the outskirts of a large forest a poor woodcutter with his wife and two children; the boy was called Hansel and the girl Grettel. He had always little enough to live on, and once, when times were bad, they had to get by with one piece of bread and butter each. One night, as he was tossing about in bed, full of cares and worry, he sighed and said to his wife: “What’s to become of us? how are we to feed our poor children, now that we have nothing more for our
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Then the Elephant’s Child grew all breathless, and panted, and kneeled down on the bank and said, ‘You are the very person I have been looking for all these long days. Will you please tell me what you have for dinner?’
‘Come hither, Little One,’ said the Crocodile, ‘and I’ll whisper.’
Then the Elephant’s Child put his head down close to the Crocodile’s musky, tusky mouth, and the Crocodile caught him by his little nose, which up to that very week, day, hour, and minute, had been no bigger than a boot, though much more useful.
‘I think, said the Crocodile–and he said it between his teeth, like this–’I think to-day I will begin with Elephant’s Child!’
At this, O Best Beloved, the Elephant’s Child was much annoyed, and he said, speaking through his nose, like this, ‘Led go! You are hurtig be!’
Then the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake scuffled down from the bank and said, ‘My young friend, if you do not now, immediately and instantly, pull as hard as ever you can, it is my opinion that your acquaintance in the large-pattern leather ulster’ (and by this he meant the Crocodile) ‘will jerk you into yonder limpid stream before you can say Jack Robinson.’
This is the way Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snakes always talk.
Then the Elephant’s Child sat back on his little haunches, and pulled, and pulled, and pulled, and his nose began to stretch. And the Crocodile floundered into the water, making it all creamy with great sweeps of his tail, and he pulled, and pulled, and pulled.
And the Elephant’s Child’s nose kept on stretching; and the Elephant’s Child spread all his little four legs and pulled, and pulled, and pulled, and his nose kept on stretching; and the Crocodile threshed his tail like an oar, and he pulled, and pulled, and pulled, and at each pull the Elephant’s Child’s nose grew longer and longer–and it hurt him hijjus!
Then the Elephant’s Child felt his legs slipping, and he said through his nose, which was now nearly five feet long, ‘This is too butch for be!’
Then the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake came down from the bank, and knotted himself in a double-clove-hitch round the Elephant’s Child’s hind legs, and said, ‘Rash and inexperienced traveller, we will now seriously devote ourselves to a little high tension, because if we do not, it is my impression that yonder self-propelling man-of-war with the armour-plated upper deck’ (and by this, O Best Beloved, he meant the Crocodile), ‘will permanently vitiate your future career.
That is the way all Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snakes always talk.
So he pulled, and the Elephant’s Child pulled, and the Crocodile pulled; but the Elephant’s Child and the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake pulled hardest; and at last the Crocodile let go of the Elephant’s Child’s nose with a plop that you could hear all up and down the Limpopo.
Then the Elephant’s Child sat down most hard and sudden; but first he was careful to say ‘Thank you’ to the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake; and next he was kind to his poor pulled nose, and wrapped it all up in cool banana leaves, and hung it in the great grey-green, greasy Limpopo to cool.
‘What are you doing that for?’ said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake.
”Scuse me,’ said the Elephant’s Child, ‘but my nose is badly out of shape, and I am waiting for it to shrink.
‘Then you will have to wait a long time, said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake. ‘Some people do not know what is good for them.’
The Elephant’s Child sat there for three days waiting for his nose to shrink. But it never grew any shorter, and, besides, it made him squint. For, O Best Beloved, you will see and understand that the Crocodile had pulled it out into a really truly trunk same as all Elephants have to-day.
At the end of the third day a fly came and stung him on the shoulder, and before he knew what he was doing he lifted up his trunk and hit that fly dead with the end of it.
”Vantage number one!’ said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake. ‘You couldn’t have done that with a mere-smear nose. Try and eat a little now.’
Before he thought what he was doing the Elephant’s Child put out his trunk and plucked a large bundle of grass, dusted it clean against his fore-legs, and stuffed it into his own mouth.
‘Vantage number two!’ said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake. ‘You couldn’t have done that with a mear-smear nose. Don’t you think the sun is very hot here?’
‘It is,’ said the Elephant’s Child, and before he thought what he was doing he schlooped up a schloop of mud from the banks of the great grey-green, greasy Limpopo, and slapped it on his head, where it made a cool schloopy-sloshy mud-cap all trickly behind his ears.
‘Vantage number three!’ said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake. ‘You couldn’t have done that with a mere-smear nose. Now how do you feel about being spanked again?’
”Scuse me,’ said the Elephant’s Child, ‘but I should not like it at all.’
‘How would you like to spank somebody?’ said the Bi- Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake.
‘I should like it very much indeed,’ said the Elephant’s Child.
‘Well,’ said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake, ‘you will find that new nose of yours very useful to spank people with.’
‘Thank you,’ said the Elephant’s Child, ‘I’ll remember that; and now I think I’ll go home to all my dear families and try.’
So the Elephant’s Child went home across Africa frisking and whisking his trunk. When he wanted fruit to eat he pulled fruit down from a tree, instead of waiting for it to fall as he used to do. When he wanted grass he plucked grass up from the ground, instead of going on his knees as he used to do. When the flies bit him he broke off the branch of a tree and used it as fly-whisk; and he made himself a new, cool, slushy-squshy mud-cap whenever the sun was hot. When he felt lonely walking through Africa he sang to himself down his trunk, and the noise was louder than several brass bands.
He went especially out of his way to find a broad Hippopotamus (she was no relation of his), and he spanked her very hard, to make sure that the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake had spoken the truth about his new trunk. The rest of the time he picked up the melon rinds that he had dropped on his way to the Limpopo–for he was a Tidy Pachyderm.
One dark evening he came back to all his dear families, and he coiled up his trunk and said, ‘How do you do?’ They were very glad to see him, and immediately said, ‘Come here and be spanked for your ‘satiable curtiosity.’
‘Pooh,’ said the Elephant’s Child. ‘I don’t think you peoples know anything about spanking; but I do, and I’ll show you.’ Then he uncurled his trunk and knocked two of his dear brothers head over heels.
‘O Bananas!’ said they, ‘where did you learn that trick, and what have you done to your nose?’
‘I got a new one from the Crocodile on the banks of the great grey-green, greasy Limpopo River,’ said the Elephant’s Child. ‘I asked him what he had for dinner, and he gave me this to keep.’
‘It looks very ugly,’ said his hairy uncle, the Baboon.
‘It does,’ said the Elephant’s Child. ‘But it’s very useful,’ and he picked up his hairy uncle, the Baboon, by one hairy leg, and hove him into a hornet’s nest.
Then that bad Elephant’s Child spanked all his dear families for a long time, till they were very warm and greatly astonished. He pulled out his tall Ostrich aunt’s tail-feathers; and he caught his tall uncle, the Giraffe, by the hind-leg, and dragged him through a thorn-bush; and he shouted at his broad aunt, the Hippopotamus, and blew bubbles into her ear when she was sleeping in the water after meals; but he never let any one touch Kolokolo Bird.
At last things grew so exciting that his dear families went off one by one in a hurry to the banks of the great grey-green, greasy Limpopo River, all set about with fever-trees, to borrow new noses from the Crocodile. When they came back nobody spanked anybody any more; and ever since that day, O Best Beloved, all the Elephants you will ever see, besides all those that you won’t, have trunks precisely like the trunk of the ‘satiable Elephant’s Child.
There was once a merchant who was so rich that he could have paved the whole street, and perhaps even a little side-street besides, with silver. But he did not do that; he knew another way of spending his money. If he spent a shilling he got back a florin-such an excellent merchant he was till he died.
Now his son inherited all this money. He lived very merrily; he went every night to the theatre, made paper kites out of five-pound notes, and played ducks and drakes with sovereigns instead of stones. In this way the money was likely to come soon to an end, and so it did.
At last he had nothing left but four shillings, and he had no clothes except a pair of slippers and an old dressing-gown.
His friends did not trouble themselves any more about him; they would not even walk down the street with him.
But one of them who was rather good-natured sent him an old trunk with the message, ‘Pack up!” That was all very well, but he had nothing to pack up, so he got into the trunk himself.
It was an enchanted trunk, for as soon as the lock was pressed it could fly. He pressed it, and away he flew in it up the chimney, high into the clouds, further and further away. But whenever the bottom gave a little creak he was in terror lest the trunk should go to pieces, for then he would have turned a dreadful somersault-just think of it!
In this way he arrived at the land of the Turks. He hid the trunk in a wood under some dry leaves, and then walked into the town. He could do that quite well, for all the Turks were dressed just as he was-in a dressing-gown and slippers.
He met a nurse with a little child.
‘Halloa! you Turkish nurse,’ said he, ‘what is that great castle there close to the town? The one with the windows so high up?’
‘The sultan’s daughter lives there,’ she replied. ‘It is prophesied that she will be very unlucky in her husband, and so no one is allowed to see her except when the sultan and sultana are by.’
‘Thank you,’ said the merchant’s son, and he went into the wood, sat himself in his trunk, flew on to the roof, and crept through the window into the princess’s room.
She was lying on the sofa asleep, and was so beautiful that the young merchant had to kiss her. Then she woke up and was very much frightened, but he said he was a Turkish god who had come through the air to see her, and that pleased her very much.
They sat close to each other, and he told her a story about her eyes. They were beautiful dark lakes in which her thoughts swam about like mermaids. And her forehead was a snowy mountain, grand and shining. These were lovely stories.
Then he asked the princess to marry him, and she said yes at once.
‘But you must come here on Saturday,’ she said, ‘for then the sultan and the sultana are coming to tea with me. They will be indeed proud that I receive the god of the Turks. But mind you have a really good story ready, for my parents like them immensely. My mother likes something rather moral and high-flown, and my father likes something merry to make him laugh.’
‘Yes, I shall only bring a fairy story for my dowry,’ said he, and so they parted. But the princess gave him a sabre set with gold pieces which he could use.
Then he flew away, bought himself a new dressing-gown, and sat down in the wood and began to make up a story, for it had to be ready by Saturday, and that was no easy matter.
When he had it ready it was Saturday.
The sultan, the sultana, and the whole court were at tea with the princess.
He was most graciously received.
‘Will you tell us a story?’ said the sultana; ‘one that is thoughtful and instructive?’
‘But something that we can laugh at,’ said the sultan.
‘Oh, certainly,’ he replied, and began: ‘Now, listen attentively. There was once a box of matches which lay between a tinder-box and an old iron pot, and they told the story of their youth.
‘”We used to be on the green fir-boughs. Every morning and evening we had diamond-tea, which was the dew, and the whole day long we had sunshine, and the little birds used to tell us stories. We were very rich, because the other trees only dressed in summer, but we had green dresses in summer and in winter. Then the woodcutter came, and our family was split up. We have now the task of making light for the lowest people. That is why we grand people are in the kitchen.”
‘”My fate was quite different,” said the iron pot, near which the matches lay.
‘”Since I came into the world I have been many times scoured, and have cooked much. My only pleasure is to have a good chat with my companions when I am lying nice and clean in my place after dinner.”
‘”Now you are talking too fast,” spluttered the fire.
‘”Yes, let us decide who is the grandest!” said the matches.
‘”No, I don’t like talking about myself,” said the pot.
‘”Let us arrange an evening’s entertainment. I will tell the story of my life.
‘”On the Baltic by the Danish shore-”
‘What a beautiful beginning!” said all the plates. “That’s a story that will please us all.”
‘And the end was just as good as the beginning. All the plates clattered for joy.
‘”Now I will dance,” said the tongs, and she danced. Oh! how high she could kick!
‘The old chair-cover in the corner split when he saw her.
‘The urn would have sung but she said she had a cold; she could not sing unless she boiled.
‘In the window was an old quill pen. There was nothing remarkable about her except that she had been dipped too deeply into the ink. But she was very proud of that.
‘”If the urn will not sing,” said she, “outside the door hangs a nightingale in a cage who will sing.”
‘”I don’t think it’s proper,” said the kettle, “that such a foreign bird should be heard.”
‘”Oh, let us have some acting,” said everyone. “Do let us!”
‘Suddenly the door opened and the maid came in. Everyone was quite quiet. There was not a sound. But each pot knew what he might have done, and how grand he was.
‘The maid took the matches and lit the fire with them. How they spluttered and flamed, to be sure! “Now everyone can see,” they thought, “that we are the grandest! How we sparkle! What a light-”
‘But here they were burnt out.’
‘That was a delightful story!’ said the sultana. ‘I quite feel myself in the kitchen with the matches. Yes, now you shall marry our daughter.’
‘Yes, indeed,’ said the sultan, ‘you shall marry our daughter on Monday.’ And they treated the young man as one of the family.
The wedding was arranged, and the night before the whole town was illuminated.
Biscuits and gingerbreads were thrown among the people, the street boys stood on tiptoe crying hurrahs and whistling through their fingers. It was all splendid.
‘Now I must also give them a treat,’ thought the merchant’s son. And so he bought rockets, crackers, and all the kinds of fireworks you can think of, put them in his trunk, and flew up with them into the air.
Whirr-r-r, how they fizzed and blazed!
All the Turks jumped so high that their slippers flew above their heads; such a splendid glitter they had never seen before.
Now they could quite well understand that it was the god of the Turks himself who was to marry the princess.
As soon as the young merchant came down again into the wood with his trunk he thought, ‘Now I will just go into the town to see how the show has taken.’
And it was quite natural that he should want to do this.
Oh! what stories the people had to tell!
Each one whom he asked had seen it differently, but they had all found it beautiful.
‘I saw the Turkish god himself,’ said one. ‘He had eyes like glittering stars, and a beard like foaming water.’
‘He flew away in a cloak of fire,’ said another. They were splendid things that he heard, and the next day was to be his wedding day.
Then he went back into the wood to sit in his trunk; but what had become of it? The trunk had been burnt. A spark of the fireworks had set it alight, and the trunk was in ashes. He could no longer fly, and could never reach his bride.
She stood the whole day long on the roof and waited; perhaps she is waiting there still.
But he wandered through the world and told stories; though they are not so merry as the one he told about the matches.
IN a town in Persia there dwelt two brothers, one named Cassim, the other Ali Baba. Cassim was married to a rich wife and lived in plenty, while Ali Baba had to maintain his wife and children by cutting wood in a neighboring forest and selling it in the town. One day, when Ali Baba was in the forest, he saw a troop of men on horseback, coming toward him in a cloud of dust. He was afraid they were robbers, and climbed into a tree for safety. When they came up to him and dismounted, he counted forty of them. They unbridled their horses and tied them to trees. The finest man among them, whom Ali Baba took to be their captain, went a little way among some bushes, and said: “Open, Sesame!”[1] so plainly that Ali Baba heard him. A door opened in the rocks, and having made the troop go in, he followed them, and the door shut again of itself. They stayed some time inside, and Ali Baba, fearing they might come out and catch him, was forced to sit patiently in the tree. At last the door opened again, and the Forty Thieves came out. As the Captain went in last he came out first, and made them all pass by him; he then closed the door, saying: “Shut, Sesame!” Every man bridled his horse and mounted, the Captain put himself at their head, and they returned as they came.
Then Ali Baba climbed down and went to the door concealed among the bushes, and said: “Open, Sesame!” and it flew open. Ali Baba, who expected a dull, dismal place, was greatly surprised to find it large and well lighted, hollowed by the hand of man in the form of a vault, which received the light from an opening in the ceiling. He saw rich bales of merchandise–silk, stuff-brocades, all piled together, and gold and silver in heaps, and money in leather purses. He went in and the door shut behind him. He did not look at the silver, but brought out as many bags of gold as he thought his asses, which were browsing outside, could carry, loaded them with the bags, and hid it all with fagots. Using the words: “Shut, Sesame!” he closed the door and went home.
Then he drove his asses into the yard, shut the gates, carried the money-bags to his wife, and emptied them out before her. He bade her keep the secret, and he would go and bury the gold. “Let me first measure it,” said his wife. “I will go borrow a measure of someone, while you dig the hole.” So she ran to the wife of Cassim and borrowed a measure. Knowing Ali Baba’s poverty, the sister was curious to find out what sort of grain his wife wished to measure, and artfully put some suet at the bottom of the measure. Ali Baba’s wife went home and set the measure on the heap of gold, and filled it and emptied it often, to her great content. She then carried it back to her sister, without noticing that a piece of gold was sticking to it, which Cassim’s wife perceived directly her back was turned. She grew very curious, and said to Cassim when he came home: “Cassim, your brother is richer than you. He does not count his money, he measures it.” He begged her to explain this riddle, which she did by showing him the piece of money and telling him where she found it. Then Cassim grew so envious that he could not sleep, and went to his brother in the morning before sunrise. “Ali Baba,” he said, showing him the gold piece, “you pretend to be poor and yet you measure gold.” By this Ali Baba perceived that through his wife’s folly Cassim and his wife knew their secret, so he confessed all and offered Cassim a share. “That I expect,” said Cassim; “but I must know where to find the treasure, otherwise I will discover all, and you will lose all.” Ali Baba, more out of kindness than fear, told him of the cave, and the very words to use. Cassim left Ali Baba, meaning to be beforehand with him and get the treasure for himself. He rose early next morning, and set out with ten mules loaded with great chests. He soon found the place, and the door in the rock. He said: “Open, Sesame!” and the door opened and shut behind him. He could have feasted his eyes all day on the treasures, but he now hastened to gather together as much of it as possible; but when he was ready to go he could not remember what to say for thinking of his great riches. Instead of “Sesame,” he said: “Open, Barley!” and the door remained fast. He named several different sorts of grain, all but the right one, and the door still stuck fast. He was so frightened at the danger he was in that he had as much forgotten the word as if he had never heard it.
About noon the robbers returned to their cave, and saw Cassim’s mules roving about with great chests on their backs. This gave them the alarm; they drew their sabres, and went to the door, which opened on their Captain’s saying: “Open, Sesame!” Cassim, who had heard the trampling of their horses’ feet, resolved to sell his life dearly, so when the door opened he leaped out and threw the Captain down. In vain, however, for the robbers with their sabres soon killed him. On entering the cave they saw all the bags laid ready, and could not imagine how anyone had got in without knowing their secret. They cut Cassim’s body into four quarters, and nailed them up inside the cave, in order to frighten anyone who should venture in, and went away in search of more treasure.
As night drew on Cassim’s wife grew very uneasy, and ran to her brother-in-law, and told him where her husband had gone. Ali Baba did his best to comfort her, and set out to the forest in search of Cassim. The first thing he saw on entering the cave was his dead brother. Full of horror, he put the body on one of his asses, and bags of gold on the other two, and, covering all with some fagots, returned home. He drove the two asses laden with gold into his own yard, and led the other to Cassim’s house. The door was opened by the slave Morgiana, whom he knew to be both brave and cunning. Unloading the ass, he said to her: “This is the body of your master, who has been murdered, but whom we must bury as though he had died in his bed. I will speak with you again, but now tell your mistress I am come.” The wife of Cassim, on learning the fate of her husband, broke out into cries and tears, but Ali Baba offered to take her to live with him and his wife if she would promise to keep his counsel and leave everything to Morgiana; whereupon she agreed, and dried her eyes.
Morgiana, meanwhile, sought an apothecary and asked him for some lozenges. “My poor master,” she said, “can neither eat nor speak, and no one knows what his distemper is.” She carried home the lozenges and returned next day weeping, and asked for an essence only given to those just about to die. Thus, in the evening, no one was surprised to hear the wretched shrieks and cries of Cassim’s wife and Morgiana, telling everyone that Cassim was dead. The day after Morgiana went to an old cobbler near the gates of the town who opened his stall early, put a piece of gold in his hand, and bade him follow her with his needle and thread. Having bound his eyes with a handkerchief, she took him to the room where the body lay, pulled off the bandage, and bade him sew the quarters together, after which she covered his eyes again and led him home. Then they buried Cassim, and Morgiana his slave followed him to the grave, weeping and tearing her hair, while Cassim’s wife stayed at home uttering lamentable cries. Next day she went to live with Ali Baba, who gave Cassim’s shop to his eldest son.
The Forty Thieves, on their return to the cave, were much astonished to find Cassim’s body gone and some of their money-bags. “We are certainly discovered,” said the Captain, “and shall be undone if we cannot find out who it is that knows our secret. Two men must have known it; we have killed one, we must now find the other. To this end one of you who is bold and artful must go into the city dressed as a traveler, and discover whom we have killed, and whether men talk of the strange manner of his death. If the messenger fails he must lose his life, lest we be betrayed.” One of the thieves started up and offered to do this, and after the rest had highly commended him for his bravery he disguised himself, and happened to enter the town at daybreak, just by Baba Mustapha’s stall. The thief bade him good-day, saying: “Honest man, how can you possibly see to stitch at your age?” “Old as I am,” replied the cobbler, “I have very good eyes, and will you believe me when I tell you that I sewed a dead body together in a place where I had less light than I have now.” The robber was overjoyed at his good fortune, and, giving him a piece of gold, desired to be shown the house where he stitched up the dead body. At first Mustapha refused, saying that he had been blindfolded; but when the robber gave him another piece of gold he began to think he might remember the turnings if blindfolded as before. This means succeeded; the robber partly led him, and was partly guided by him, right in front of Cassim’s house, the door of which the robber marked with a piece of chalk. Then, well pleased, he bade farewell to Baba Mustapha and returned to the forest. By and by Morgiana, going out, saw the mark the robber had made, quickly guessed that some mischief was brewing, and fetching a piece of chalk marked two or three doors on each side, without saying anything to her master or mistress.
The thief, meantime, told his comrades of his discovery. The Captain thanked him, and bade him show him the house he had marked. But when they came to it they saw that five or six of the houses were chalked in the same manner. The guide was so confounded that he knew not what answer to make, and when they returned he was at once beheaded for having failed. Another robber was dispatched, and, having won over Baba Mustapha, marked the house in red chalk; but Morgiana being again too clever for them, the second messenger was put to death also. The Captain now resolved to go himself, but, wiser than the others, he did not mark the house, but looked at it so closely that he could not fail to remember it. He returned, and ordered his men to go into the neighboring villages and buy nineteen mules, and thirty-eight leather jars, all empty except one, which was full of oil. The Captain put one of his men, fully armed, into each, rubbing the outside of the jars with oil from the full vessel. Then the nineteen mules were loaded with thirty-seven robbers in jars, and the jar of oil, and reached the town by dusk. The Captain stopped his mules in front of Ali Baba’s house, and said to Ali Baba, who was sitting outside for coolness: “I have brought some oil from a distance to sell at to-morrow’s market, but it is now so late that I know not where to pass the night, unless you will do me the favor to take me in.” Though Ali Baba had seen the Captain of the robbers in the forest, he did not recognize him in the disguise of an oil merchant. He bade him welcome, opened his gates for the mules to enter, and went to Morgiana to bid her prepare a bed and supper for his guest. He brought the stranger into his hall, and after they had supped went again to speak to Morgiana in the kitchen, while the Captain went into the yard under pretense of seeing after his mules, but really to tell his men what to do. Beginning at the first jar and ending at the last, he said to each man: “As soon as I throw some stones from the window of the chamber where I lie, cut the jars open with your knives and come out, and I will be with you in a trice.” He returned to the house, and Morgiana led him to his chamber. She then told Abdallah, her fellow-slave, to set on the pot to make some broth for her master, who had gone to bed. Meanwhile her lamp went out, and she had no more oil in the house. “Do not be uneasy,” said Abdallah; “go into the yard and take some out of one of those jars.” Morgiana thanked him for his advice, took the oil pot, and went into the yard. When she came to the first jar the robber inside said softly: “Is it time?”
Any other slave but Morgiana, on finding a man in the jar instead of the oil she wanted, would have screamed and made a noise; but she, knowing the danger her master was in, bethought herself of a plan, and answered quietly: “Not yet, but presently.” She went to all the jars, giving the same answer, till she came to the jar of oil. She now saw that her master, thinking to entertain an oil merchant, had let thirty-eight robbers into his house. She filled her oil pot, went back to the kitchen, and, having lit her lamp, went again to the oil jar and filled a large kettle full of oil. When it boiled she went and poured enough oil into every jar to stifle and kill the robber inside. When this brave deed was done she went back to the kitchen, put out the fire and the lamp, and waited to see what would happen.
In a quarter of an hour the Captain of the robbers awoke, got up, and opened the window. As all seemed quiet, he threw down some little pebbles which hit the jars. He listened, and as none of his men seemed to stir he grew uneasy, and went down into the yard. On going to the first jar and saying, “Are you asleep?” he smelt the hot boiled oil, and knew at once that his plot to murder Ali Baba and his household had been discovered. He found all the gang was dead, and, missing the oil out of the last jar, became aware of the manner of their death. He then forced the lock of a door leading into a garden, and climbing over several walls made his escape. Morgiana heard and saw all this, and, rejoicing at her success, went to bed and fell asleep.
At daybreak Ali Baba arose, and, seeing the oil jars still there, asked why the merchant had not gone with his mules. Morgiana bade him look in the first jar and see if there was any oil. Seeing a man, he started back in terror. “Have no fear,” said Morgiana; “the man cannot harm you: he is dead.” Ali Baba, when he had recovered somewhat from his astonishment, asked what had become of the merchant. “Merchant!” said she, “he is no more a merchant than I am!” and she told him the whole story, assuring him that it was a plot of the robbers of the forest, of whom only three were left, and that the white and red chalk marks had something to do with it. Ali Baba at once gave Morgiana her freedom, saying that he owed her his life. They then buried the bodies in Ali Baba’s garden, while the mules were sold in the market by his slaves.
The Captain returned to his lonely cave, which seemed frightful to him without his lost companions, and firmly resolved to avenge them by killing Ali Baba. He dressed himself carefully, and went into the town, where he took lodgings in an inn. In the course of a great many journeys to the forest he carried away many rich stuffs and much fine linen, and set up a shop opposite that of Ali Baba’s son. He called himself Cogia Hassan, and as he was both civil and well dressed he soon made friends with Ali Baba’s son, and through him with Ali Baba, whom he was continually asking to sup with him. Ali Baba, wishing to return his kindness, invited him into his house and received him smiling, thanking him for his kindness to his son. When the merchant was about to take his leave Ali Baba stopped him, saying: “Where are you going, sir, in such haste? Will you not stay and sup with me?” The merchant refused, saying that he had a reason; and, on Ali Baba’s asking him what that was, he replied: “It is, sir, that I can eat no victuals that have any salt in them.” “If that is all,” said Ali Baba, “let me tell you that there shall be no salt in either the meat or the bread that we eat to-night.” He went to give this order to Morgiana, who was much surprised. “Who is this man,” she said, “who eats no salt with his meat?” “He is an honest man, Morgiana,” returned her master; “therefore do as I bid you.” But she could not withstand a desire to see this strange man, so she helped Abdallah to carry up the dishes, and saw in a moment that Cogia Hassan was the robber Captain, and carried a dagger under his garment. “I am not surprised,” she said to herself, “that this wicked man, who intends to kill my master, will eat no salt with him; but I will hinder his plans.”
She sent up the supper by Abdallah, while she made ready for one of the boldest acts that could be thought on. When the dessert had been served, Cogia Hassan was left alone with Ali Baba and his son, whom he thought to make drunk and then to murder them. Morgiana, meanwhile, put on a head-dress like a dancing-girl’s, and clasped a girdle round her waist, from which hung a dagger with a silver hilt, and said to Abdallah: “Take your tabor, and let us go and divert our master and his guest.” Abdallah took his tabor and played before Morgiana until they came to the door, where Abdallah stopped playing and Morgiana made a low courtesy. “Come in, Morgiana,” said Ali Baba, “and let Cogia Hassan see what you can do”; and, turning to Cogia Hassan, he said: “She’s my slave and my housekeeper.” Cogia Hassan was by no means pleased, for he feared that his chance of killing Ali Baba was gone for the present; but he pretended great eagerness to see Morgiana, and Abdallah began to play and Morgiana to dance. After she had performed several dances she drew her dagger and made passes with it, sometimes pointing it at her own breast, sometimes at her master’s, as if it were part of the dance. Suddenly, out of breath, she snatched the tabor from Abdallah with her left hand, and, holding the dagger in her right hand, held out the tabor to her master. Ali Baba and his son put a piece of gold into it, and Cogia Hassan, seeing that she was coming to him, pulled out his purse to make her a present, but while he was putting his hand into it Morgiana plunged the dagger into his heart.
“Unhappy girl!” cried Ali Baba and his son, “what have you done to ruin us?”
“It was to preserve you, master, not to ruin you,” answered Morgiana. “See here,” opening the false merchant’s garment and showing the dagger; “see what an enemy you have entertained! Remember, he would eat no salt with you, and what more would you have? Look at him! he is both the false oil merchant and the Captain of the Forty Thieves.”
Ali Baba was so grateful to Morgiana for thus saving his life that he offered her to his son in marriage, who readily consented, and a few days after the wedding was celebrated with greatest splendor.
At the end of a year Ali Baba, hearing nothing of the two remaining robbers, judged they were dead, and set out to the cave. The door opened on his saying: “Open Sesame!” He went in, and saw that nobody had been there since the Captain left it. He brought away as much gold as he could carry, and returned to town. He told his son the secret of the cave, which his son handed down in his turn, so the children and grandchildren of Ali Baba were rich to the end of their lives.
ONCE there was a gentleman who married, for his second wife, the proudest and most haughty woman that was ever seen. She had been married before, and already had two daughters who were exactly like her in all things. He had likewise, by his first wife, a young daughter, but of unequalled goodness and sweetness of temper, which she took from her mother, who was the best creature in the world. This sweet little girl missed her mother, who had died, terribly much.
No sooner was the wedding ceremony over, than the new wife began to show herself in her true colors. She could not bear the goodness of the gentleman’s pretty girl, and especially as she made her own daughters appear the more horrid. She made her do the meanest jobs in the house: the girl scoured the dishes and tables, and scrubbed the stepmother’s bathroom, and those of her daughters; she slept in a little attic, upon a wretched straw bed, while her sisters lay upon beds with the softest pillows, in fine rooms, with floors covered with beautiful carpets, and walls on which hung looking-glasses so large that they might see themselves at their full length from head to foot.
The poor girl bore all patiently, and dared not tell her father, who would have been angry with her; for his new wife ruled him entirely. When the little girl had done her work, she used to go into the chimney-corner, and sit down among cinders and ashes, which led her to be called Cinderwench; but the youngest step-daughter, who was not quite so rude and unkind as the eldest, called her Cinderella. However, Cinderella, even though she was dressed in rags, was a hundred times prettier than her sisters, though they were always dressed very richly.
It happened that the King’s son gave a ball, and invited all finest gentlemen and ladies of the city. Our young misses were also invited, for they were always to be seen at fashionable parties. They were truly delighted at this invitation, and wonderfully busy in choosing such gowns, petticoats, and head-clothes as might suit them. This was a new trouble to Cinderella; for it was she who washed and ironed her sisters’ clothes and got all their things ready. Meanwhile, the sisters talked all day long of nothing but what they should wear to the ball.
“For my part,” said the eldest, “I will wear my red velvet suit with French trimming.”
“And I,” said the youngest, “shall have my usual petticoat; but then, to make amends for that, I will put on my gold-flowered gown, and my diamond belt, which is far from being the most ordinary one in the world.”
But in truth, they were still not absolutely sure what would be best to wear to the ball, so they sent for the best fashion designer they could find to advise on their evening dresses, and they had their nails maniqured at Mademoiselle de la Poche.
Cinderella was likewise called up to them for advice, for she had excellent judgement, and advised them always for the best, indeed, and offered her services to make up their hair, which they were very willing she should do. As she was doing this, they said to her:
“Cinderella, would you not be glad to go to the ball?”
“Alas!” said she, “you only jeer me; it is not for a poor girl like me to go there.”
“You’re quite right,” replied they; “it would make the people laugh to see a Cinderwench at a ball.”
Anyone but Cinderella would have dressed their heads all wrong, but she was very good, and dressed them perfectly well.
The step-sisters were almost two days without eating, so much were they thrilled and excited. They broke above a dozen corsettes in trying to be laced up tightly, so that they might have a fine slender shape, and they were continually at their looking-glass. At last the happy day came; they went to Court, and Cinderella followed them with her eyes as long as she could, and when she had lost sight of them, she fell a-crying.
Just then, her fairy-godmother, who used to watch-over her secretly, saw her all in tears, and appeared at her side and asked her what was the matter.
“I wish I could–I wish I could–”; she was not able to speak the rest, being interrupted by her tears and sobbing.
This fairy godmother of hers said to her, “You wish you could go to the ball; is it not so?”
“Y–es,” cried Cinderella, with a great sigh.
“Well,” said her godmother, “be but a good girl, and I will see that you shall go to the ball.” Then she took her into her secret room, and said to her, “Run into the garden, and bring me a pumpkin.”
Cinderella went immediately to gather the finest she could get, and brought it to her godmother, not being able to imagine how this pumpkin could make her go to the ball. Her godmother scooped out all the inside of the big vegitable, leaving nothing but the rind; which done, she struck it with her wand, and the pumpkin was instantly turned into a fine coach, gilded all over with gold.
She then went to look into her mouse-trap, where she found six mice, all alive, and ordered Cinderella to lift up a little the trapdoor. As each mouse went out, she gave it a little tap with her wand, and the mouse was that moment turned into a fine horse, which altogether made a very fine set of six horses of a beautiful mouse-colored dapple-gray. But they still needed a coachman,
“I will go and see,” says Cinderella, “if there is a rat in the rat-trap–we may make a coachman of him.”
“You’re a smart one,” replied her godmother; “go and look.”
Cinderella brought the trap to her, and in it there were three huge rats. The fairy made choice of one of the three which had the largest beard, and, having touched him with her wand, he was turned into a fat, jolly coach- man, who had the smartest whiskers eyes ever beheld. After that, she said to her:
“Go again into the garden, and you will find six lizards behind the watering-pot, bring them to me.”
She had no sooner done so but her godmother turned them into six footmen, who skipped up immediately behind the coach, with their uniforms all bedaubed with gold and silver, and clung as close behind each other as if they had done nothing else their whole lives. The Fairy then said to Cinderella:
“Well, you have here transport fit to take you to the ball; are you not pleased with it?”
“Oh! yes,” cried she; “but must I go there as I am, in these nasty rags?”
Her godmother only just touched her with her wand, and, at the same instant, her clothes were turned into cloth of gold and silver, all beset with jewels. This done, she gave her a pair of glass slippers, the prettiest in the whole world. Being thus decked out, she got up into her coach; but her godmother, above all things, commanded her not to stay till after midnight, telling her, at the same time, that if she stayed one moment longer, the coach would be a pumpkin again, her horses mice, her coachman a rat, her footmen lizards, and her clothes become just as they were before.
She promised her godmother she would not fail of leaving the ball before midnight; and then away she drives, scarce able to contain herself for joy. The King’s son who was told that a great princess, whom nobody knew, was come, ran out to receive her; he gave her his hand as she alighted out of the coach, and led her into the ball, among all the company. There was immediately a profound silence, they left off dancing, and the violins ceased to play, so attentive was everyone to contemplate the singular beauties of the unknown new-comer. Nothing was then heard but a confused noise of:
“Ha! how lovey she is! Ha! how lovely she is!”
The King himself, old as he was, could not help watching her, and telling the Queen softly that it was a long time since he had seen so beautiful and lovely a creature.
All the ladies were busied in considering her clothes and headdress, that they might have some made next day after the same pattern, provided they could meet with such fine material and as able hands to make them.
The King’s son led her to the most honorable seat, and afterward took her out to dance with him; she danced so very gracefully that they all more and more admired her. A fine banquet was served up, of which the young prince ate not a morsel, so intently was he busied in gazing on her.
She went and sat down by her sisters, showing them a thousand polite gestures, giving them part of the oranges and lemon blosoms which the Prince had presented her with, which very much surprised them, for they did not recognise her. While Cinderella was thus amusing her sisters, she heard the clock strike eleven and three-quarters, whereupon she immediately made a courtesy to the company and hasted away as fast as she could.
When she got home she ran to seek out her godmother, and, after having thanked her, she said she could not but heartily wish she might go next day to the ball, because the King’s son had desired her.
As she was eagerly telling her godmother whatever had passed at the ball, her two sisters knocked at the door, which Cinderella ran and opened.
“How long you have stayed!” cried she, gaping, rubbing her eyes and stretching herself as if she had been just waked out of her sleep; she had not, however, any manner of inclination to sleep since they went from home.
“If you had been at the ball,” said one of her sisters, “you would not have been tired with it. There came there the finest princess, the most beautiful ever was seen with mortal eyes; she was a thousand times nice to us, and gave us orange and lemon blossoms.”
Cinderella seemed very indifferent in the matter; indeed, she asked them the name of that princess; but they told her they did not know it, and that the King’s son was very uneasy on her account and would give all the world to know who she was. At this Cinderella, smiling, replied:
“She must, then, be very beautiful indeed; how happy you have been! Could not I see her? Ah! dear Miss Charlotte, do lend me your yellow suit of clothes which you wear every day.”
“Ay, to be sure!” cried Miss Charlotte; “lend my clothes to such a dirty Cinderwench as you! I should be a fool.”
Cinderella, indeed, expected well such answer, and was very glad of the refusal; for she would have been sadly put to it if her sister had lent her what she asked for jokingly.
The next day the two sisters were at the ball, and so was Cinderella, but dressed more magnificently than before. The King’s son was always by her, and never ceased his compliments and kind speeches to her; to whom all this was so far from being tiresome that she quite forgot what her godmother had recommended to her; so that she, at last, counted the clock striking twelve when she took it to be no more than eleven; she then rose up and fled, as nimble as a deer. The Prince followed, but could not overtake her. She left behind one of her glass slippers, which the Prince took up most carefully. She got home but quite out of breath, and in her nasty old clothes, having nothing left her of all her finery but one of the little slippers, fellow to that she dropped. The guards at the palace gate were asked: If they had not seen a princess go out. They replied that had seen nobody go out but a young girl, very meanly dressed, and who had more the air of a poor country wench than a gentlewoman.
When the two sisters returned from the ball Cinderella asked them: If they had been well diverted, and if the fine lady had been there.
They told her: Yes, but that she hurried away immediately when it struck twelve, and with so much haste that she dropped one of her little glass slippers, the prettiest in the world, which the King’s son had taken up; that he had done nothing but look at her all the time at the ball, and that most certainly he was very much in love with the beautiful person who owned the glass slipper.
What they said was very true; for a few days after the King’s son commanded it to be proclaimed, by sound of trumpet, that he would marry the young woman whose foot would perfectly fit the slipper. He sent out his most trusted advsiers from the palace, who began to try it upon the princesses, then the duchesses and all the Court, but in vain; it was brought to the two sisters, who each did all that she possibly could to thrust her foot into the slipper, but neither sister could manage to do so. Cinderella, who saw all this, and knew her slipper, said to them, laughing:
“Let me see if it will not fit me.”
Her sisters burst out a-laughing, and began to tease her. The gentleman who was sent to try the slipper looked earnestly at Cinderella, and, finding her very handsome, said: it was only right that that she should try, and that he had orders to let every girl try.
He asked Cinderella to sit down, and, putting the slipper to her foot, he found it went on very easily, and fitted her as if it had been made of wax. The astonishment her two sisters were in was excessively great, but still abundantly greater when Cinderella pulled out of her pocket the other slipper, and put it on her foot. Thereupon, in came her godmother, who, having touched with her wand Cinderella’s clothes, made them richer and more magnificent than any of those she had before.
And now her two sisters found her to be that fine, beautiful lady whom they had seen at the ball. They threw themselves at her feet to beg pardon for all the ill- treatment they had dished out to her. Cinderella took them up, and, as she embraced them, cried:
That she forgave them with all her heart, and desired them always to love her.
She was brought by carriage to the young prince, dressed as she was; he thought her more charming than ever, and, a few days after, married her. Cinderella, who was no less good than beautiful, gave her two sisters rooms in the palace, and that very same day matched them with two great lords of the Court.
A cat got to know a mouse, and spoke so much of the great love and friendship she felt for her, that at last the Mouse agreed to live in the same house with her, and to go shares in the housekeeping. ‘But we must store up food for the winter or else we shall be hungry,’ said the Cat. ‘And You, little Mouse, cannot venture everywhere in case you run into a trap.’ This good advice was followed, and a little pot of fat was bought. But they did not know where to put it. At length, after long discussion, the Cat said, ‘I know of no place where it could be better put than in the church. No one will trouble to take it away from there. We will hide it in a corner, and we won’t touch it till we really need it.’ So the little pot was placed in safety; but it was not long before the Cat had a great longing for it, and said to the Mouse, ‘I wanted to tell you, little Mouse, that my cousin has a little son, white with brown spots, and she wants me to be godmother to that little kitten. Let me go out to-day, and do you take care of the house alone.’
‘Yes, go certainly,’ replied the Mouse, ‘and when you eat anything good, think of me; I should very much like a drop of the red christening wine.’
But it was all untrue. The Cat had no cousin, and had not been asked to be godmother. She went straight to the church, slunk to the little pot of fat, began to lick it, and licked the top off. Then she took a walk on the roofs of the town, looked at the view, stretched herself out in the sun, and licked her lips whenever she thought of the little pot of fat. As soon as it was evening she went home again.
‘Ah, here you are again!’ said the Mouse; ‘you must certainly have had an enjoyable day.’
‘It went off very well,’ answered the Cat.
‘What was the child’s name?’ asked the Mouse.
‘Top Off,’ said the Cat drily.
‘Topoff!’ echoed the Mouse, ‘it is indeed a wonderful and curious name. Are there others called Topoff in your family?’
‘What is there odd about it?’ said the Cat. ‘It is not worse than Breadthief, as your godchild is called.’
Not long after this another great longing came over the Cat. She said to the Mouse, ‘You must again be kind enough to look after the house alone, for I have been asked a second time to stand godmother, and as this kitten has a white ring round its neck, I cannot refuse.’
The kind Mouse agreed, but the Cat slunk under the town wall to the church, and ate up half of the pot of fat. ‘Nothing tastes better,’ said she, ‘than what one eats by oneself,’ and she was very much pleased with her day’s work. When she came home the Mouse asked, ‘What was this child called?’
‘Half Gone,’ answered the Cat.
‘Halfgone! what a name! I have never heard it in my life. I don’t believe it is in any book!’
Soon the Cat’s mouth began to water once more after her licking business. ‘All good things in threes,’ she said to the Mouse; ‘I have again to stand godmother. The child is quite black, and has very white paws, but not a single white hair on its body. This only happens once in two years, so you will let me go out?’
‘Topoff! Halfgone!’ repeated the Mouse, ‘they are such curious names; they make me very thoughtful.’
‘Oh, you sit at home in your dark grey coat and your long tail,’ said the Cat, ‘and you get fanciful. That comes of not going out in the day.’
The Mouse had a good cleaning out while the Cat was gone, and made the house tidy; but the greedy Cat ate the fat every bit up.
‘
When it is all gone one can be at rest,’ she said to herself, and at night she came home sleek and satisfied. The Mouse asked at once after the third child’s name.
‘It won’t please you any better,’ said the Cat, ‘he was called Clean Gone.’
‘Cleangone!’ repeated the Mouse. ‘I do not believe that name has been printed any more than the others. Cleangone! What can it mean?’ She shook her head, curled herself up, and went to sleep.
From this time on no one asked the Cat to stand godmother; but when the winter came and there was nothing to be got outside, the Mouse remembered their provision and said, ‘Come, Cat, we will go to our pot of fat which we have stored away; it will taste very good.’
‘Yes, indeed,’ answered the Cat; ‘ it will taste as good to you as if you stretched your thin tongue out of the window.’
They started off, and when they reached it they found the pot in its place, but quite empty!
‘Ah,’ said the Mouse,’ ‘now I know what has happened! It has all come out! You are a true friend to me! You have eaten it all when you stood godmother; first the top off, then half of it gone, then—-’
‘Will you be quiet!’ screamed the Cat. ‘Another word and I will eat you up.’
‘Cleangone’ was already on the poor Mouse’s tongue, and scarcely was it out than the Cat made a spring at her, seized and swallowed her.
You see that is the way of the world.
Hello Everybody, My Name’s natasha, and his Royal Highness Prince Bertie the Frog has commanded me to tell you the storynory of the Tin Solider, by Hans Christian Andersen [version by Andrew Lang]
But first, I’ll share a little gossip I picked up about Bertie. Once, when Bertie was still a prince, before he was turned into a frog, he tried to play with the soldiers who stood guard outside palace, but the Sergeant Major shouted him really loudly, and made his clean his boots and tidy his room, and after that Bertie decided to stick playing with toy soldiers. That’s a secret by the way, so don’t’ tell anyone. Now, Bertie’s asking me to get on with the story, so I had better begin the Storyory of the Steadfast Tin Soldier.
There were once upon a time five-and twenty tin-soldiers–all brothers, as they were made out of the same old tin spoon. Their uniform was red and blue, and they shouldered their guns and looked straight in front of them. The first words that they heard in this world, when the lid of the box in which they lay was taken off, were: ‘Hurrah, tin-soldiers!’ This was exclaimed by a little boy, clapping his hands; they had been given to him because it was his birthday, and now he began setting them out on the table. Each soldier was exactly like the other in shape, except just one, who had been made last when the tin had run short; but there he stood as firmly on his one leg as the others did on two, and he is the one that became famous.
There were many other playthings on the table on which they were being set out, but the nicest of all was a pretty little castle made of cardboard, with windows through which you could see into the rooms. In front of the castle stood some little trees surrounding a tiny mirror which looked like a lake. Wax swans were floating about and reflecting themselves in it. That was all very pretty; but the most beautiful thing was a little lady, who stood in the open doorway. She was cut out of paper, but she had on a dress of the finest muslin, with a scarf of narrow blue ribbon round her shoulders, fastened in the middle with a glittering rose made of gold paper, which was as large as her head. The little lady was stretching out both her arms, for she was a Dancer, and was lifting up one leg so high in the air that the Tin-soldier couldn’t find it anywhere, and thought that she, too, had only one leg.
‘That’s the wife for me!’ he thought; ‘but she is so grand, and lives in a castle, whilst I have only a box with four-and-twenty others. This is no place for her! But I must make her acquaintance.’ Then he stretched himself out behind a snuff-box that lay on the table; from thence he could watch the dainty little lady, who continued to stand on one leg without losing her balance.
When the night came all the other tin-soldiers went into their box, and the people of the house went to bed. Then the toys began to play at visiting, dancing, and fighting. The tin-soldiers rattled in their box, for they wanted to be out too, but they could not raise the lid. The nut-crackers played at leap-frog, and the chalk ran about the blackboard; there was such a noise that the canary woke up and began to talk to them, in poetry too! The only two who did not stir from their places were the Tin-soldier and the little Dancer. She remained on tip-toe, with both arms outstretched; he stood steadfastly on his one leg, never moving his eyes from her face.
The clock struck twelve, and crack! off flew the lid of the spice- box; but there were no spices inside, nor any hot curry powder, only a little imp–that was the beauty of it. Now an imp is a magical creature, a little like a fairy, only more naughty.
‘Hullo, Tin-soldier!’ said the imp. ‘Don’t look at things that aren’t intended for the likes of you!’ She meant that he shouldn’t look at the little dander.
But the Tin-soldier took no notice, and seemed not to hear.
‘Very well, wait till to-morrow!’ said the imp.
When it was morning, and the children had got up, the Tin-soldier was put in the window; and whether it was the wind or the little imp, I don’t know, but all at once the window flew open and out fell the little Tin-soldier, head over heels, from the third- storey window! That was a terrible fall, I can tell you! He landed on his head with his leg in the air, his gun being wedged between two paving-stones.
The nursery-maid and the little boy came down at once to look for him, but, though they were so near him that they almost trod on him, they did not notice him. If the Tin-soldier had only called out ‘Here I am!’ they must have found him; but he did not think it fitting for him to cry out, because he had on his uniform.
Soon it began to drizzle; then the drops came faster, and there was a regular down-pour. When it was over, two little street boys came along.
‘Just look!’ cried one. ‘Here is a Tin-soldier! He shall sail up and down in a boat!’
So they made a little boat out of newspaper, put the Tin-soldier in it, and made him sail up and down the gutter; both the boys ran along beside him, clapping their hands. What great waves there were in the gutter, and what a swift current! The paper-boat tossed up and down, and in the middle of the stream it went so quick that the Tin-soldier trembled; but he remained steadfast, showed no emotion, looked straight in front of him, shouldering his gun. All at once the boat passed under a long tunnel that was as dark as his box had been.
‘Where can I be coming now?’ he wondered. ‘Oh, dear! This is the imp’s fault! Ah, if only the little lady were sitting beside me in the boat, it might be twice as dark for all I should care!’
Suddenly there came along a great water-rat that lived in the tunnel.
‘Have you a passport?’ asked the rat. ‘Out with your passport!’
But the Tin-soldier was silent, and grasped his gun more firmly.
The boat sped on, and the rat behind it. Ugh! how he showed his teeth, as he cried to the chips of wood and straw: ‘Hold him, hold him! he has not paid the toll! He has not shown his passport!’
But the current became swifter and stronger. The Tin-soldier could already see daylight where the tunnel ended; but in his ears there sounded a roaring enough to frighten any brave man. Only think! at the end of the tunnel the gutter discharged itself into a great canal; that would be just as dangerous for him as it would be for us to go down a waterfall.
Now he was so near to it that he could not hold on any longer. On went the boat, the poor Tin-soldier keeping himself as stiff as he could: no one should say of him afterwards that he had flinched. The boat whirled three, four times round, and became filled to the brim with water: it began to sink! The Tin-soldier was standing up to his neck in water, and deeper and deeper sank the boat, and softer and softer grew the paper; now the water was over his head. He was thinking of the pretty little Dancer, whose face he should never see again, and there sounded in his ears, over and over again:
‘Forward, forward, soldier bold! Death’s before thee, grim and cold!’
The paper came in two, and the soldier fell–but at that moment he was swallowed by a great fish.
Oh! how dark it was inside, even darker than in the tunnel, and it was really very close quarters! But there the steadfast little Tin-soldier lay full length, shouldering his gun.
Up and down swam the fish, then he made the most dreadful contortions, and became suddenly quite still. Then it was as if a flash of lightning had passed through him; the daylight streamed in, and a voice exclaimed, ‘Why, here is the little Tin-soldier!’ The fish had been caught, taken to market, sold, and brought into the kitchen, where the cook had cut it open with a great knife. She took up the soldier between her finger and thumb, and carried him into the room, where everyone wanted to see the hero who had been found inside a fish; but the Tin-soldier was not at all proud. They put him on the table, and–no, but what strange things do happen in this world!–the Tin-soldier was in the same room in which he had been before! He saw the same children, and the same toys on the table; and there was the same grand castle with the pretty little Dancer. She was still standing on one leg with the other high in the air; she too was steadfast. That touched the Tin-soldier, he was nearly going to shed tin-tears; but that would not have been fitting for a soldier. He looked at her, but she said nothing.
All at once one of the little boys took up the Tin-soldier, and threw him into the stove, giving no reasons; but doubtless the imp in the spice-box was at the bottom of this too.
There the Tin-soldier lay, and felt a heat that was truly terrible; but whether he was suffering from actual fire, or from the ardour of his passion, he did not know. All his colour had disappeared; whether this had happened on his travels or whether it was the result of trouble, who can say? He looked at the little lady, she looked at him, and he felt that he was melting; but he remained steadfast, with his gun at his shoulder. Suddenly a door opened, the draught caught up the little Dancer, and off she flew like a fairy to the Tin-soldier in the stove, burst into flames–and that was the end of her! Then the Tin-soldier melted down into a little lump, and when next morning the maid was taking out the ashes, she found him in the shape of a heart. There was nothing left of the little Dancer but her gilt rose, burnt as black as a cinder.
And that’s the Storynory of The Steadfast Tin Soldier. I think the ending was rather sad, don’t you? He was such a brave little soldier. But not all stories have happy endings. Bertie says that when he was a prince, he always looked after all his toys, really carefully, and always put them away in their correct places. He would never lose a good little soldier like the one in the story.
ONCE upon a time there dwelt on the outskirts of a large forest a poor woodcutter with his wife and two children; the boy was called Hansel and the girl Grettel. He had always little enough to live on, and once, when times were bad, they had to get by with one piece of bread and butter each. One night, as he was tossing about in bed, full of cares and worry, he sighed and said to his wife: “What’s to become of us? how are we to feed our poor children, now that we have nothing more for our
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Then the Elephant’s Child grew all breathless, and panted, and kneeled down on the bank and said, ‘You are the very person I have been looking for all these long days. Will you please tell me what you have for dinner?’
‘Come hither, Little One,’ said the Crocodile, ‘and I’ll whisper.’
Then the Elephant’s Child put his head down close to the Crocodile’s musky, tusky mouth, and the Crocodile caught him by his little nose, which up to that very week, day, hour, and minute, had been no bigger than a boot, though much more useful.
‘I think, said the Crocodile–and he said it between his teeth, like this–’I think to-day I will begin with Elephant’s Child!’
At this, O Best Beloved, the Elephant’s Child was much annoyed, and he said, speaking through his nose, like this, ‘Led go! You are hurtig be!’
Then the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake scuffled down from the bank and said, ‘My young friend, if you do not now, immediately and instantly, pull as hard as ever you can, it is my opinion that your acquaintance in the large-pattern leather ulster’ (and by this he meant the Crocodile) ‘will jerk you into yonder limpid stream before you can say Jack Robinson.’
This is the way Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snakes always talk.
Then the Elephant’s Child sat back on his little haunches, and pulled, and pulled, and pulled, and his nose began to stretch. And the Crocodile floundered into the water, making it all creamy with great sweeps of his tail, and he pulled, and pulled, and pulled.
And the Elephant’s Child’s nose kept on stretching; and the Elephant’s Child spread all his little four legs and pulled, and pulled, and pulled, and his nose kept on stretching; and the Crocodile threshed his tail like an oar, and he pulled, and pulled, and pulled, and at each pull the Elephant’s Child’s nose grew longer and longer–and it hurt him hijjus!
Then the Elephant’s Child felt his legs slipping, and he said through his nose, which was now nearly five feet long, ‘This is too butch for be!’
Then the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake came down from the bank, and knotted himself in a double-clove-hitch round the Elephant’s Child’s hind legs, and said, ‘Rash and inexperienced traveller, we will now seriously devote ourselves to a little high tension, because if we do not, it is my impression that yonder self-propelling man-of-war with the armour-plated upper deck’ (and by this, O Best Beloved, he meant the Crocodile), ‘will permanently vitiate your future career.
That is the way all Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snakes always talk.
So he pulled, and the Elephant’s Child pulled, and the Crocodile pulled; but the Elephant’s Child and the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake pulled hardest; and at last the Crocodile let go of the Elephant’s Child’s nose with a plop that you could hear all up and down the Limpopo.
Then the Elephant’s Child sat down most hard and sudden; but first he was careful to say ‘Thank you’ to the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake; and next he was kind to his poor pulled nose, and wrapped it all up in cool banana leaves, and hung it in the great grey-green, greasy Limpopo to cool.
‘What are you doing that for?’ said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake.
”Scuse me,’ said the Elephant’s Child, ‘but my nose is badly out of shape, and I am waiting for it to shrink.
‘Then you will have to wait a long time, said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake. ‘Some people do not know what is good for them.’
The Elephant’s Child sat there for three days waiting for his nose to shrink. But it never grew any shorter, and, besides, it made him squint. For, O Best Beloved, you will see and understand that the Crocodile had pulled it out into a really truly trunk same as all Elephants have to-day.
At the end of the third day a fly came and stung him on the shoulder, and before he knew what he was doing he lifted up his trunk and hit that fly dead with the end of it.
”Vantage number one!’ said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake. ‘You couldn’t have done that with a mere-smear nose. Try and eat a little now.’
Before he thought what he was doing the Elephant’s Child put out his trunk and plucked a large bundle of grass, dusted it clean against his fore-legs, and stuffed it into his own mouth.
‘Vantage number two!’ said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake. ‘You couldn’t have done that with a mear-smear nose. Don’t you think the sun is very hot here?’
‘It is,’ said the Elephant’s Child, and before he thought what he was doing he schlooped up a schloop of mud from the banks of the great grey-green, greasy Limpopo, and slapped it on his head, where it made a cool schloopy-sloshy mud-cap all trickly behind his ears.
‘Vantage number three!’ said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake. ‘You couldn’t have done that with a mere-smear nose. Now how do you feel about being spanked again?’
”Scuse me,’ said the Elephant’s Child, ‘but I should not like it at all.’
‘How would you like to spank somebody?’ said the Bi- Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake.
‘I should like it very much indeed,’ said the Elephant’s Child.
‘Well,’ said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake, ‘you will find that new nose of yours very useful to spank people with.’
‘Thank you,’ said the Elephant’s Child, ‘I’ll remember that; and now I think I’ll go home to all my dear families and try.’
So the Elephant’s Child went home across Africa frisking and whisking his trunk. When he wanted fruit to eat he pulled fruit down from a tree, instead of waiting for it to fall as he used to do. When he wanted grass he plucked grass up from the ground, instead of going on his knees as he used to do. When the flies bit him he broke off the branch of a tree and used it as fly-whisk; and he made himself a new, cool, slushy-squshy mud-cap whenever the sun was hot. When he felt lonely walking through Africa he sang to himself down his trunk, and the noise was louder than several brass bands.
He went especially out of his way to find a broad Hippopotamus (she was no relation of his), and he spanked her very hard, to make sure that the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake had spoken the truth about his new trunk. The rest of the time he picked up the melon rinds that he had dropped on his way to the Limpopo–for he was a Tidy Pachyderm.
One dark evening he came back to all his dear families, and he coiled up his trunk and said, ‘How do you do?’ They were very glad to see him, and immediately said, ‘Come here and be spanked for your ‘satiable curtiosity.’
‘Pooh,’ said the Elephant’s Child. ‘I don’t think you peoples know anything about spanking; but I do, and I’ll show you.’ Then he uncurled his trunk and knocked two of his dear brothers head over heels.
‘O Bananas!’ said they, ‘where did you learn that trick, and what have you done to your nose?’
‘I got a new one from the Crocodile on the banks of the great grey-green, greasy Limpopo River,’ said the Elephant’s Child. ‘I asked him what he had for dinner, and he gave me this to keep.’
‘It looks very ugly,’ said his hairy uncle, the Baboon.
‘It does,’ said the Elephant’s Child. ‘But it’s very useful,’ and he picked up his hairy uncle, the Baboon, by one hairy leg, and hove him into a hornet’s nest.
Then that bad Elephant’s Child spanked all his dear families for a long time, till they were very warm and greatly astonished. He pulled out his tall Ostrich aunt’s tail-feathers; and he caught his tall uncle, the Giraffe, by the hind-leg, and dragged him through a thorn-bush; and he shouted at his broad aunt, the Hippopotamus, and blew bubbles into her ear when she was sleeping in the water after meals; but he never let any one touch Kolokolo Bird.
At last things grew so exciting that his dear families went off one by one in a hurry to the banks of the great grey-green, greasy Limpopo River, all set about with fever-trees, to borrow new noses from the Crocodile. When they came back nobody spanked anybody any more; and ever since that day, O Best Beloved, all the Elephants you will ever see, besides all those that you won’t, have trunks precisely like the trunk of the ‘satiable Elephant’s Child.
There was once a merchant who was so rich that he could have paved the whole street, and perhaps even a little side-street besides, with silver. But he did not do that; he knew another way of spending his money. If he spent a shilling he got back a florin-such an excellent merchant he was till he died.
Now his son inherited all this money. He lived very merrily; he went every night to the theatre, made paper kites out of five-pound notes, and played ducks and drakes with sovereigns instead of stones. In this way the money was likely to come soon to an end, and so it did.
At last he had nothing left but four shillings, and he had no clothes except a pair of slippers and an old dressing-gown.
His friends did not trouble themselves any more about him; they would not even walk down the street with him.
But one of them who was rather good-natured sent him an old trunk with the message, ‘Pack up!” That was all very well, but he had nothing to pack up, so he got into the trunk himself.
It was an enchanted trunk, for as soon as the lock was pressed it could fly. He pressed it, and away he flew in it up the chimney, high into the clouds, further and further away. But whenever the bottom gave a little creak he was in terror lest the trunk should go to pieces, for then he would have turned a dreadful somersault-just think of it!
In this way he arrived at the land of the Turks. He hid the trunk in a wood under some dry leaves, and then walked into the town. He could do that quite well, for all the Turks were dressed just as he was-in a dressing-gown and slippers.
He met a nurse with a little child.
‘Halloa! you Turkish nurse,’ said he, ‘what is that great castle there close to the town? The one with the windows so high up?’
‘The sultan’s daughter lives there,’ she replied. ‘It is prophesied that she will be very unlucky in her husband, and so no one is allowed to see her except when the sultan and sultana are by.’
‘Thank you,’ said the merchant’s son, and he went into the wood, sat himself in his trunk, flew on to the roof, and crept through the window into the princess’s room.
She was lying on the sofa asleep, and was so beautiful that the young merchant had to kiss her. Then she woke up and was very much frightened, but he said he was a Turkish god who had come through the air to see her, and that pleased her very much.
They sat close to each other, and he told her a story about her eyes. They were beautiful dark lakes in which her thoughts swam about like mermaids. And her forehead was a snowy mountain, grand and shining. These were lovely stories.
Then he asked the princess to marry him, and she said yes at once.
‘But you must come here on Saturday,’ she said, ‘for then the sultan and the sultana are coming to tea with me. They will be indeed proud that I receive the god of the Turks. But mind you have a really good story ready, for my parents like them immensely. My mother likes something rather moral and high-flown, and my father likes something merry to make him laugh.’
‘Yes, I shall only bring a fairy story for my dowry,’ said he, and so they parted. But the princess gave him a sabre set with gold pieces which he could use.
Then he flew away, bought himself a new dressing-gown, and sat down in the wood and began to make up a story, for it had to be ready by Saturday, and that was no easy matter.
When he had it ready it was Saturday.
The sultan, the sultana, and the whole court were at tea with the princess.
He was most graciously received.
‘Will you tell us a story?’ said the sultana; ‘one that is thoughtful and instructive?’
‘But something that we can laugh at,’ said the sultan.
‘Oh, certainly,’ he replied, and began: ‘Now, listen attentively. There was once a box of matches which lay between a tinder-box and an old iron pot, and they told the story of their youth.
‘”We used to be on the green fir-boughs. Every morning and evening we had diamond-tea, which was the dew, and the whole day long we had sunshine, and the little birds used to tell us stories. We were very rich, because the other trees only dressed in summer, but we had green dresses in summer and in winter. Then the woodcutter came, and our family was split up. We have now the task of making light for the lowest people. That is why we grand people are in the kitchen.”
‘”My fate was quite different,” said the iron pot, near which the matches lay.
‘”Since I came into the world I have been many times scoured, and have cooked much. My only pleasure is to have a good chat with my companions when I am lying nice and clean in my place after dinner.”
‘”Now you are talking too fast,” spluttered the fire.
‘”Yes, let us decide who is the grandest!” said the matches.
‘”No, I don’t like talking about myself,” said the pot.
‘”Let us arrange an evening’s entertainment. I will tell the story of my life.
‘”On the Baltic by the Danish shore-”
‘What a beautiful beginning!” said all the plates. “That’s a story that will please us all.”
‘And the end was just as good as the beginning. All the plates clattered for joy.
‘”Now I will dance,” said the tongs, and she danced. Oh! how high she could kick!
‘The old chair-cover in the corner split when he saw her.
‘The urn would have sung but she said she had a cold; she could not sing unless she boiled.
‘In the window was an old quill pen. There was nothing remarkable about her except that she had been dipped too deeply into the ink. But she was very proud of that.
‘”If the urn will not sing,” said she, “outside the door hangs a nightingale in a cage who will sing.”
‘”I don’t think it’s proper,” said the kettle, “that such a foreign bird should be heard.”
‘”Oh, let us have some acting,” said everyone. “Do let us!”
‘Suddenly the door opened and the maid came in. Everyone was quite quiet. There was not a sound. But each pot knew what he might have done, and how grand he was.
‘The maid took the matches and lit the fire with them. How they spluttered and flamed, to be sure! “Now everyone can see,” they thought, “that we are the grandest! How we sparkle! What a light-”
‘But here they were burnt out.’
‘That was a delightful story!’ said the sultana. ‘I quite feel myself in the kitchen with the matches. Yes, now you shall marry our daughter.’
‘Yes, indeed,’ said the sultan, ‘you shall marry our daughter on Monday.’ And they treated the young man as one of the family.
The wedding was arranged, and the night before the whole town was illuminated.
Biscuits and gingerbreads were thrown among the people, the street boys stood on tiptoe crying hurrahs and whistling through their fingers. It was all splendid.
‘Now I must also give them a treat,’ thought the merchant’s son. And so he bought rockets, crackers, and all the kinds of fireworks you can think of, put them in his trunk, and flew up with them into the air.
Whirr-r-r, how they fizzed and blazed!
All the Turks jumped so high that their slippers flew above their heads; such a splendid glitter they had never seen before.
Now they could quite well understand that it was the god of the Turks himself who was to marry the princess.
As soon as the young merchant came down again into the wood with his trunk he thought, ‘Now I will just go into the town to see how the show has taken.’
And it was quite natural that he should want to do this.
Oh! what stories the people had to tell!
Each one whom he asked had seen it differently, but they had all found it beautiful.
‘I saw the Turkish god himself,’ said one. ‘He had eyes like glittering stars, and a beard like foaming water.’
‘He flew away in a cloak of fire,’ said another. They were splendid things that he heard, and the next day was to be his wedding day.
Then he went back into the wood to sit in his trunk; but what had become of it? The trunk had been burnt. A spark of the fireworks had set it alight, and the trunk was in ashes. He could no longer fly, and could never reach his bride.
She stood the whole day long on the roof and waited; perhaps she is waiting there still.
But he wandered through the world and told stories; though they are not so merry as the one he told about the matches.
IN a town in Persia there dwelt two brothers, one named Cassim, the other Ali Baba. Cassim was married to a rich wife and lived in plenty, while Ali Baba had to maintain his wife and children by cutting wood in a neighboring forest and selling it in the town. One day, when Ali Baba was in the forest, he saw a troop of men on horseback, coming toward him in a cloud of dust. He was afraid they were robbers, and climbed into a tree for safety. When they came up to him and dismounted, he counted forty of them. They unbridled their horses and tied them to trees. The finest man among them, whom Ali Baba took to be their captain, went a little way among some bushes, and said: “Open, Sesame!”[1] so plainly that Ali Baba heard him. A door opened in the rocks, and having made the troop go in, he followed them, and the door shut again of itself. They stayed some time inside, and Ali Baba, fearing they might come out and catch him, was forced to sit patiently in the tree. At last the door opened again, and the Forty Thieves came out. As the Captain went in last he came out first, and made them all pass by him; he then closed the door, saying: “Shut, Sesame!” Every man bridled his horse and mounted, the Captain put himself at their head, and they returned as they came.
Then Ali Baba climbed down and went to the door concealed among the bushes, and said: “Open, Sesame!” and it flew open. Ali Baba, who expected a dull, dismal place, was greatly surprised to find it large and well lighted, hollowed by the hand of man in the form of a vault, which received the light from an opening in the ceiling. He saw rich bales of merchandise–silk, stuff-brocades, all piled together, and gold and silver in heaps, and money in leather purses. He went in and the door shut behind him. He did not look at the silver, but brought out as many bags of gold as he thought his asses, which were browsing outside, could carry, loaded them with the bags, and hid it all with fagots. Using the words: “Shut, Sesame!” he closed the door and went home.
Then he drove his asses into the yard, shut the gates, carried the money-bags to his wife, and emptied them out before her. He bade her keep the secret, and he would go and bury the gold. “Let me first measure it,” said his wife. “I will go borrow a measure of someone, while you dig the hole.” So she ran to the wife of Cassim and borrowed a measure. Knowing Ali Baba’s poverty, the sister was curious to find out what sort of grain his wife wished to measure, and artfully put some suet at the bottom of the measure. Ali Baba’s wife went home and set the measure on the heap of gold, and filled it and emptied it often, to her great content. She then carried it back to her sister, without noticing that a piece of gold was sticking to it, which Cassim’s wife perceived directly her back was turned. She grew very curious, and said to Cassim when he came home: “Cassim, your brother is richer than you. He does not count his money, he measures it.” He begged her to explain this riddle, which she did by showing him the piece of money and telling him where she found it. Then Cassim grew so envious that he could not sleep, and went to his brother in the morning before sunrise. “Ali Baba,” he said, showing him the gold piece, “you pretend to be poor and yet you measure gold.” By this Ali Baba perceived that through his wife’s folly Cassim and his wife knew their secret, so he confessed all and offered Cassim a share. “That I expect,” said Cassim; “but I must know where to find the treasure, otherwise I will discover all, and you will lose all.” Ali Baba, more out of kindness than fear, told him of the cave, and the very words to use. Cassim left Ali Baba, meaning to be beforehand with him and get the treasure for himself. He rose early next morning, and set out with ten mules loaded with great chests. He soon found the place, and the door in the rock. He said: “Open, Sesame!” and the door opened and shut behind him. He could have feasted his eyes all day on the treasures, but he now hastened to gather together as much of it as possible; but when he was ready to go he could not remember what to say for thinking of his great riches. Instead of “Sesame,” he said: “Open, Barley!” and the door remained fast. He named several different sorts of grain, all but the right one, and the door still stuck fast. He was so frightened at the danger he was in that he had as much forgotten the word as if he had never heard it.
About noon the robbers returned to their cave, and saw Cassim’s mules roving about with great chests on their backs. This gave them the alarm; they drew their sabres, and went to the door, which opened on their Captain’s saying: “Open, Sesame!” Cassim, who had heard the trampling of their horses’ feet, resolved to sell his life dearly, so when the door opened he leaped out and threw the Captain down. In vain, however, for the robbers with their sabres soon killed him. On entering the cave they saw all the bags laid ready, and could not imagine how anyone had got in without knowing their secret. They cut Cassim’s body into four quarters, and nailed them up inside the cave, in order to frighten anyone who should venture in, and went away in search of more treasure.
As night drew on Cassim’s wife grew very uneasy, and ran to her brother-in-law, and told him where her husband had gone. Ali Baba did his best to comfort her, and set out to the forest in search of Cassim. The first thing he saw on entering the cave was his dead brother. Full of horror, he put the body on one of his asses, and bags of gold on the other two, and, covering all with some fagots, returned home. He drove the two asses laden with gold into his own yard, and led the other to Cassim’s house. The door was opened by the slave Morgiana, whom he knew to be both brave and cunning. Unloading the ass, he said to her: “This is the body of your master, who has been murdered, but whom we must bury as though he had died in his bed. I will speak with you again, but now tell your mistress I am come.” The wife of Cassim, on learning the fate of her husband, broke out into cries and tears, but Ali Baba offered to take her to live with him and his wife if she would promise to keep his counsel and leave everything to Morgiana; whereupon she agreed, and dried her eyes.
Morgiana, meanwhile, sought an apothecary and asked him for some lozenges. “My poor master,” she said, “can neither eat nor speak, and no one knows what his distemper is.” She carried home the lozenges and returned next day weeping, and asked for an essence only given to those just about to die. Thus, in the evening, no one was surprised to hear the wretched shrieks and cries of Cassim’s wife and Morgiana, telling everyone that Cassim was dead. The day after Morgiana went to an old cobbler near the gates of the town who opened his stall early, put a piece of gold in his hand, and bade him follow her with his needle and thread. Having bound his eyes with a handkerchief, she took him to the room where the body lay, pulled off the bandage, and bade him sew the quarters together, after which she covered his eyes again and led him home. Then they buried Cassim, and Morgiana his slave followed him to the grave, weeping and tearing her hair, while Cassim’s wife stayed at home uttering lamentable cries. Next day she went to live with Ali Baba, who gave Cassim’s shop to his eldest son.
The Forty Thieves, on their return to the cave, were much astonished to find Cassim’s body gone and some of their money-bags. “We are certainly discovered,” said the Captain, “and shall be undone if we cannot find out who it is that knows our secret. Two men must have known it; we have killed one, we must now find the other. To this end one of you who is bold and artful must go into the city dressed as a traveler, and discover whom we have killed, and whether men talk of the strange manner of his death. If the messenger fails he must lose his life, lest we be betrayed.” One of the thieves started up and offered to do this, and after the rest had highly commended him for his bravery he disguised himself, and happened to enter the town at daybreak, just by Baba Mustapha’s stall. The thief bade him good-day, saying: “Honest man, how can you possibly see to stitch at your age?” “Old as I am,” replied the cobbler, “I have very good eyes, and will you believe me when I tell you that I sewed a dead body together in a place where I had less light than I have now.” The robber was overjoyed at his good fortune, and, giving him a piece of gold, desired to be shown the house where he stitched up the dead body. At first Mustapha refused, saying that he had been blindfolded; but when the robber gave him another piece of gold he began to think he might remember the turnings if blindfolded as before. This means succeeded; the robber partly led him, and was partly guided by him, right in front of Cassim’s house, the door of which the robber marked with a piece of chalk. Then, well pleased, he bade farewell to Baba Mustapha and returned to the forest. By and by Morgiana, going out, saw the mark the robber had made, quickly guessed that some mischief was brewing, and fetching a piece of chalk marked two or three doors on each side, without saying anything to her master or mistress.
The thief, meantime, told his comrades of his discovery. The Captain thanked him, and bade him show him the house he had marked. But when they came to it they saw that five or six of the houses were chalked in the same manner. The guide was so confounded that he knew not what answer to make, and when they returned he was at once beheaded for having failed. Another robber was dispatched, and, having won over Baba Mustapha, marked the house in red chalk; but Morgiana being again too clever for them, the second messenger was put to death also. The Captain now resolved to go himself, but, wiser than the others, he did not mark the house, but looked at it so closely that he could not fail to remember it. He returned, and ordered his men to go into the neighboring villages and buy nineteen mules, and thirty-eight leather jars, all empty except one, which was full of oil. The Captain put one of his men, fully armed, into each, rubbing the outside of the jars with oil from the full vessel. Then the nineteen mules were loaded with thirty-seven robbers in jars, and the jar of oil, and reached the town by dusk. The Captain stopped his mules in front of Ali Baba’s house, and said to Ali Baba, who was sitting outside for coolness: “I have brought some oil from a distance to sell at to-morrow’s market, but it is now so late that I know not where to pass the night, unless you will do me the favor to take me in.” Though Ali Baba had seen the Captain of the robbers in the forest, he did not recognize him in the disguise of an oil merchant. He bade him welcome, opened his gates for the mules to enter, and went to Morgiana to bid her prepare a bed and supper for his guest. He brought the stranger into his hall, and after they had supped went again to speak to Morgiana in the kitchen, while the Captain went into the yard under pretense of seeing after his mules, but really to tell his men what to do. Beginning at the first jar and ending at the last, he said to each man: “As soon as I throw some stones from the window of the chamber where I lie, cut the jars open with your knives and come out, and I will be with you in a trice.” He returned to the house, and Morgiana led him to his chamber. She then told Abdallah, her fellow-slave, to set on the pot to make some broth for her master, who had gone to bed. Meanwhile her lamp went out, and she had no more oil in the house. “Do not be uneasy,” said Abdallah; “go into the yard and take some out of one of those jars.” Morgiana thanked him for his advice, took the oil pot, and went into the yard. When she came to the first jar the robber inside said softly: “Is it time?”
Any other slave but Morgiana, on finding a man in the jar instead of the oil she wanted, would have screamed and made a noise; but she, knowing the danger her master was in, bethought herself of a plan, and answered quietly: “Not yet, but presently.” She went to all the jars, giving the same answer, till she came to the jar of oil. She now saw that her master, thinking to entertain an oil merchant, had let thirty-eight robbers into his house. She filled her oil pot, went back to the kitchen, and, having lit her lamp, went again to the oil jar and filled a large kettle full of oil. When it boiled she went and poured enough oil into every jar to stifle and kill the robber inside. When this brave deed was done she went back to the kitchen, put out the fire and the lamp, and waited to see what would happen.
In a quarter of an hour the Captain of the robbers awoke, got up, and opened the window. As all seemed quiet, he threw down some little pebbles which hit the jars. He listened, and as none of his men seemed to stir he grew uneasy, and went down into the yard. On going to the first jar and saying, “Are you asleep?” he smelt the hot boiled oil, and knew at once that his plot to murder Ali Baba and his household had been discovered. He found all the gang was dead, and, missing the oil out of the last jar, became aware of the manner of their death. He then forced the lock of a door leading into a garden, and climbing over several walls made his escape. Morgiana heard and saw all this, and, rejoicing at her success, went to bed and fell asleep.
At daybreak Ali Baba arose, and, seeing the oil jars still there, asked why the merchant had not gone with his mules. Morgiana bade him look in the first jar and see if there was any oil. Seeing a man, he started back in terror. “Have no fear,” said Morgiana; “the man cannot harm you: he is dead.” Ali Baba, when he had recovered somewhat from his astonishment, asked what had become of the merchant. “Merchant!” said she, “he is no more a merchant than I am!” and she told him the whole story, assuring him that it was a plot of the robbers of the forest, of whom only three were left, and that the white and red chalk marks had something to do with it. Ali Baba at once gave Morgiana her freedom, saying that he owed her his life. They then buried the bodies in Ali Baba’s garden, while the mules were sold in the market by his slaves.
The Captain returned to his lonely cave, which seemed frightful to him without his lost companions, and firmly resolved to avenge them by killing Ali Baba. He dressed himself carefully, and went into the town, where he took lodgings in an inn. In the course of a great many journeys to the forest he carried away many rich stuffs and much fine linen, and set up a shop opposite that of Ali Baba’s son. He called himself Cogia Hassan, and as he was both civil and well dressed he soon made friends with Ali Baba’s son, and through him with Ali Baba, whom he was continually asking to sup with him. Ali Baba, wishing to return his kindness, invited him into his house and received him smiling, thanking him for his kindness to his son. When the merchant was about to take his leave Ali Baba stopped him, saying: “Where are you going, sir, in such haste? Will you not stay and sup with me?” The merchant refused, saying that he had a reason; and, on Ali Baba’s asking him what that was, he replied: “It is, sir, that I can eat no victuals that have any salt in them.” “If that is all,” said Ali Baba, “let me tell you that there shall be no salt in either the meat or the bread that we eat to-night.” He went to give this order to Morgiana, who was much surprised. “Who is this man,” she said, “who eats no salt with his meat?” “He is an honest man, Morgiana,” returned her master; “therefore do as I bid you.” But she could not withstand a desire to see this strange man, so she helped Abdallah to carry up the dishes, and saw in a moment that Cogia Hassan was the robber Captain, and carried a dagger under his garment. “I am not surprised,” she said to herself, “that this wicked man, who intends to kill my master, will eat no salt with him; but I will hinder his plans.”
She sent up the supper by Abdallah, while she made ready for one of the boldest acts that could be thought on. When the dessert had been served, Cogia Hassan was left alone with Ali Baba and his son, whom he thought to make drunk and then to murder them. Morgiana, meanwhile, put on a head-dress like a dancing-girl’s, and clasped a girdle round her waist, from which hung a dagger with a silver hilt, and said to Abdallah: “Take your tabor, and let us go and divert our master and his guest.” Abdallah took his tabor and played before Morgiana until they came to the door, where Abdallah stopped playing and Morgiana made a low courtesy. “Come in, Morgiana,” said Ali Baba, “and let Cogia Hassan see what you can do”; and, turning to Cogia Hassan, he said: “She’s my slave and my housekeeper.” Cogia Hassan was by no means pleased, for he feared that his chance of killing Ali Baba was gone for the present; but he pretended great eagerness to see Morgiana, and Abdallah began to play and Morgiana to dance. After she had performed several dances she drew her dagger and made passes with it, sometimes pointing it at her own breast, sometimes at her master’s, as if it were part of the dance. Suddenly, out of breath, she snatched the tabor from Abdallah with her left hand, and, holding the dagger in her right hand, held out the tabor to her master. Ali Baba and his son put a piece of gold into it, and Cogia Hassan, seeing that she was coming to him, pulled out his purse to make her a present, but while he was putting his hand into it Morgiana plunged the dagger into his heart.
“Unhappy girl!” cried Ali Baba and his son, “what have you done to ruin us?”
“It was to preserve you, master, not to ruin you,” answered Morgiana. “See here,” opening the false merchant’s garment and showing the dagger; “see what an enemy you have entertained! Remember, he would eat no salt with you, and what more would you have? Look at him! he is both the false oil merchant and the Captain of the Forty Thieves.”
Ali Baba was so grateful to Morgiana for thus saving his life that he offered her to his son in marriage, who readily consented, and a few days after the wedding was celebrated with greatest splendor.
At the end of a year Ali Baba, hearing nothing of the two remaining robbers, judged they were dead, and set out to the cave. The door opened on his saying: “Open Sesame!” He went in, and saw that nobody had been there since the Captain left it. He brought away as much gold as he could carry, and returned to town. He told his son the secret of the cave, which his son handed down in his turn, so the children and grandchildren of Ali Baba were rich to the end of their lives.
ONCE there was a gentleman who married, for his second wife, the proudest and most haughty woman that was ever seen. She had been married before, and already had two daughters who were exactly like her in all things. He had likewise, by his first wife, a young daughter, but of unequalled goodness and sweetness of temper, which she took from her mother, who was the best creature in the world. This sweet little girl missed her mother, who had died, terribly much.
No sooner was the wedding ceremony over, than the new wife began to show herself in her true colors. She could not bear the goodness of the gentleman’s pretty girl, and especially as she made her own daughters appear the more horrid. She made her do the meanest jobs in the house: the girl scoured the dishes and tables, and scrubbed the stepmother’s bathroom, and those of her daughters; she slept in a little attic, upon a wretched straw bed, while her sisters lay upon beds with the softest pillows, in fine rooms, with floors covered with beautiful carpets, and walls on which hung looking-glasses so large that they might see themselves at their full length from head to foot.
The poor girl bore all patiently, and dared not tell her father, who would have been angry with her; for his new wife ruled him entirely. When the little girl had done her work, she used to go into the chimney-corner, and sit down among cinders and ashes, which led her to be called Cinderwench; but the youngest step-daughter, who was not quite so rude and unkind as the eldest, called her Cinderella. However, Cinderella, even though she was dressed in rags, was a hundred times prettier than her sisters, though they were always dressed very richly.
It happened that the King’s son gave a ball, and invited all finest gentlemen and ladies of the city. Our young misses were also invited, for they were always to be seen at fashionable parties. They were truly delighted at this invitation, and wonderfully busy in choosing such gowns, petticoats, and head-clothes as might suit them. This was a new trouble to Cinderella; for it was she who washed and ironed her sisters’ clothes and got all their things ready. Meanwhile, the sisters talked all day long of nothing but what they should wear to the ball.
“For my part,” said the eldest, “I will wear my red velvet suit with French trimming.”
“And I,” said the youngest, “shall have my usual petticoat; but then, to make amends for that, I will put on my gold-flowered gown, and my diamond belt, which is far from being the most ordinary one in the world.”
But in truth, they were still not absolutely sure what would be best to wear to the ball, so they sent for the best fashion designer they could find to advise on their evening dresses, and they had their nails maniqured at Mademoiselle de la Poche.
Cinderella was likewise called up to them for advice, for she had excellent judgement, and advised them always for the best, indeed, and offered her services to make up their hair, which they were very willing she should do. As she was doing this, they said to her:
“Cinderella, would you not be glad to go to the ball?”
“Alas!” said she, “you only jeer me; it is not for a poor girl like me to go there.”
“You’re quite right,” replied they; “it would make the people laugh to see a Cinderwench at a ball.”
Anyone but Cinderella would have dressed their heads all wrong, but she was very good, and dressed them perfectly well.
The step-sisters were almost two days without eating, so much were they thrilled and excited. They broke above a dozen corsettes in trying to be laced up tightly, so that they might have a fine slender shape, and they were continually at their looking-glass. At last the happy day came; they went to Court, and Cinderella followed them with her eyes as long as she could, and when she had lost sight of them, she fell a-crying.
Just then, her fairy-godmother, who used to watch-over her secretly, saw her all in tears, and appeared at her side and asked her what was the matter.
“I wish I could–I wish I could–”; she was not able to speak the rest, being interrupted by her tears and sobbing.
This fairy godmother of hers said to her, “You wish you could go to the ball; is it not so?”
“Y–es,” cried Cinderella, with a great sigh.
“Well,” said her godmother, “be but a good girl, and I will see that you shall go to the ball.” Then she took her into her secret room, and said to her, “Run into the garden, and bring me a pumpkin.”
Cinderella went immediately to gather the finest she could get, and brought it to her godmother, not being able to imagine how this pumpkin could make her go to the ball. Her godmother scooped out all the inside of the big vegitable, leaving nothing but the rind; which done, she struck it with her wand, and the pumpkin was instantly turned into a fine coach, gilded all over with gold.
She then went to look into her mouse-trap, where she found six mice, all alive, and ordered Cinderella to lift up a little the trapdoor. As each mouse went out, she gave it a little tap with her wand, and the mouse was that moment turned into a fine horse, which altogether made a very fine set of six horses of a beautiful mouse-colored dapple-gray. But they still needed a coachman,
“I will go and see,” says Cinderella, “if there is a rat in the rat-trap–we may make a coachman of him.”
“You’re a smart one,” replied her godmother; “go and look.”
Cinderella brought the trap to her, and in it there were three huge rats. The fairy made choice of one of the three which had the largest beard, and, having touched him with her wand, he was turned into a fat, jolly coach- man, who had the smartest whiskers eyes ever beheld. After that, she said to her:
“Go again into the garden, and you will find six lizards behind the watering-pot, bring them to me.”
She had no sooner done so but her godmother turned them into six footmen, who skipped up immediately behind the coach, with their uniforms all bedaubed with gold and silver, and clung as close behind each other as if they had done nothing else their whole lives. The Fairy then said to Cinderella:
“Well, you have here transport fit to take you to the ball; are you not pleased with it?”
“Oh! yes,” cried she; “but must I go there as I am, in these nasty rags?”
Her godmother only just touched her with her wand, and, at the same instant, her clothes were turned into cloth of gold and silver, all beset with jewels. This done, she gave her a pair of glass slippers, the prettiest in the whole world. Being thus decked out, she got up into her coach; but her godmother, above all things, commanded her not to stay till after midnight, telling her, at the same time, that if she stayed one moment longer, the coach would be a pumpkin again, her horses mice, her coachman a rat, her footmen lizards, and her clothes become just as they were before.
She promised her godmother she would not fail of leaving the ball before midnight; and then away she drives, scarce able to contain herself for joy. The King’s son who was told that a great princess, whom nobody knew, was come, ran out to receive her; he gave her his hand as she alighted out of the coach, and led her into the ball, among all the company. There was immediately a profound silence, they left off dancing, and the violins ceased to play, so attentive was everyone to contemplate the singular beauties of the unknown new-comer. Nothing was then heard but a confused noise of:
“Ha! how lovey she is! Ha! how lovely she is!”
The King himself, old as he was, could not help watching her, and telling the Queen softly that it was a long time since he had seen so beautiful and lovely a creature.
All the ladies were busied in considering her clothes and headdress, that they might have some made next day after the same pattern, provided they could meet with such fine material and as able hands to make them.
The King’s son led her to the most honorable seat, and afterward took her out to dance with him; she danced so very gracefully that they all more and more admired her. A fine banquet was served up, of which the young prince ate not a morsel, so intently was he busied in gazing on her.
She went and sat down by her sisters, showing them a thousand polite gestures, giving them part of the oranges and lemon blosoms which the Prince had presented her with, which very much surprised them, for they did not recognise her. While Cinderella was thus amusing her sisters, she heard the clock strike eleven and three-quarters, whereupon she immediately made a courtesy to the company and hasted away as fast as she could.
When she got home she ran to seek out her godmother, and, after having thanked her, she said she could not but heartily wish she might go next day to the ball, because the King’s son had desired her.
As she was eagerly telling her godmother whatever had passed at the ball, her two sisters knocked at the door, which Cinderella ran and opened.
“How long you have stayed!” cried she, gaping, rubbing her eyes and stretching herself as if she had been just waked out of her sleep; she had not, however, any manner of inclination to sleep since they went from home.
“If you had been at the ball,” said one of her sisters, “you would not have been tired with it. There came there the finest princess, the most beautiful ever was seen with mortal eyes; she was a thousand times nice to us, and gave us orange and lemon blossoms.”
Cinderella seemed very indifferent in the matter; indeed, she asked them the name of that princess; but they told her they did not know it, and that the King’s son was very uneasy on her account and would give all the world to know who she was. At this Cinderella, smiling, replied:
“She must, then, be very beautiful indeed; how happy you have been! Could not I see her? Ah! dear Miss Charlotte, do lend me your yellow suit of clothes which you wear every day.”
“Ay, to be sure!” cried Miss Charlotte; “lend my clothes to such a dirty Cinderwench as you! I should be a fool.”
Cinderella, indeed, expected well such answer, and was very glad of the refusal; for she would have been sadly put to it if her sister had lent her what she asked for jokingly.
The next day the two sisters were at the ball, and so was Cinderella, but dressed more magnificently than before. The King’s son was always by her, and never ceased his compliments and kind speeches to her; to whom all this was so far from being tiresome that she quite forgot what her godmother had recommended to her; so that she, at last, counted the clock striking twelve when she took it to be no more than eleven; she then rose up and fled, as nimble as a deer. The Prince followed, but could not overtake her. She left behind one of her glass slippers, which the Prince took up most carefully. She got home but quite out of breath, and in her nasty old clothes, having nothing left her of all her finery but one of the little slippers, fellow to that she dropped. The guards at the palace gate were asked: If they had not seen a princess go out. They replied that had seen nobody go out but a young girl, very meanly dressed, and who had more the air of a poor country wench than a gentlewoman.
When the two sisters returned from the ball Cinderella asked them: If they had been well diverted, and if the fine lady had been there.
They told her: Yes, but that she hurried away immediately when it struck twelve, and with so much haste that she dropped one of her little glass slippers, the prettiest in the world, which the King’s son had taken up; that he had done nothing but look at her all the time at the ball, and that most certainly he was very much in love with the beautiful person who owned the glass slipper.
What they said was very true; for a few days after the King’s son commanded it to be proclaimed, by sound of trumpet, that he would marry the young woman whose foot would perfectly fit the slipper. He sent out his most trusted advsiers from the palace, who began to try it upon the princesses, then the duchesses and all the Court, but in vain; it was brought to the two sisters, who each did all that she possibly could to thrust her foot into the slipper, but neither sister could manage to do so. Cinderella, who saw all this, and knew her slipper, said to them, laughing:
“Let me see if it will not fit me.”
Her sisters burst out a-laughing, and began to tease her. The gentleman who was sent to try the slipper looked earnestly at Cinderella, and, finding her very handsome, said: it was only right that that she should try, and that he had orders to let every girl try.
He asked Cinderella to sit down, and, putting the slipper to her foot, he found it went on very easily, and fitted her as if it had been made of wax. The astonishment her two sisters were in was excessively great, but still abundantly greater when Cinderella pulled out of her pocket the other slipper, and put it on her foot. Thereupon, in came her godmother, who, having touched with her wand Cinderella’s clothes, made them richer and more magnificent than any of those she had before.
And now her two sisters found her to be that fine, beautiful lady whom they had seen at the ball. They threw themselves at her feet to beg pardon for all the ill- treatment they had dished out to her. Cinderella took them up, and, as she embraced them, cried:
That she forgave them with all her heart, and desired them always to love her.
She was brought by carriage to the young prince, dressed as she was; he thought her more charming than ever, and, a few days after, married her. Cinderella, who was no less good than beautiful, gave her two sisters rooms in the palace, and that very same day matched them with two great lords of the Court.
A cat got to know a mouse, and spoke so much of the great love and friendship she felt for her, that at last the Mouse agreed to live in the same house with her, and to go shares in the housekeeping. ‘But we must store up food for the winter or else we shall be hungry,’ said the Cat. ‘And You, little Mouse, cannot venture everywhere in case you run into a trap.’ This good advice was followed, and a little pot of fat was bought. But they did not know where to put it. At length, after long discussion, the Cat said, ‘I know of no place where it could be better put than in the church. No one will trouble to take it away from there. We will hide it in a corner, and we won’t touch it till we really need it.’ So the little pot was placed in safety; but it was not long before the Cat had a great longing for it, and said to the Mouse, ‘I wanted to tell you, little Mouse, that my cousin has a little son, white with brown spots, and she wants me to be godmother to that little kitten. Let me go out to-day, and do you take care of the house alone.’
‘Yes, go certainly,’ replied the Mouse, ‘and when you eat anything good, think of me; I should very much like a drop of the red christening wine.’
But it was all untrue. The Cat had no cousin, and had not been asked to be godmother. She went straight to the church, slunk to the little pot of fat, began to lick it, and licked the top off. Then she took a walk on the roofs of the town, looked at the view, stretched herself out in the sun, and licked her lips whenever she thought of the little pot of fat. As soon as it was evening she went home again.
‘Ah, here you are again!’ said the Mouse; ‘you must certainly have had an enjoyable day.’
‘It went off very well,’ answered the Cat.
‘What was the child’s name?’ asked the Mouse.
‘Top Off,’ said the Cat drily.
‘Topoff!’ echoed the Mouse, ‘it is indeed a wonderful and curious name. Are there others called Topoff in your family?’
‘What is there odd about it?’ said the Cat. ‘It is not worse than Breadthief, as your godchild is called.’
Not long after this another great longing came over the Cat. She said to the Mouse, ‘You must again be kind enough to look after the house alone, for I have been asked a second time to stand godmother, and as this kitten has a white ring round its neck, I cannot refuse.’
The kind Mouse agreed, but the Cat slunk under the town wall to the church, and ate up half of the pot of fat. ‘Nothing tastes better,’ said she, ‘than what one eats by oneself,’ and she was very much pleased with her day’s work. When she came home the Mouse asked, ‘What was this child called?’
‘Half Gone,’ answered the Cat.
‘Halfgone! what a name! I have never heard it in my life. I don’t believe it is in any book!’
Soon the Cat’s mouth began to water once more after her licking business. ‘All good things in threes,’ she said to the Mouse; ‘I have again to stand godmother. The child is quite black, and has very white paws, but not a single white hair on its body. This only happens once in two years, so you will let me go out?’
‘Topoff! Halfgone!’ repeated the Mouse, ‘they are such curious names; they make me very thoughtful.’
‘Oh, you sit at home in your dark grey coat and your long tail,’ said the Cat, ‘and you get fanciful. That comes of not going out in the day.’
The Mouse had a good cleaning out while the Cat was gone, and made the house tidy; but the greedy Cat ate the fat every bit up.
‘
When it is all gone one can be at rest,’ she said to herself, and at night she came home sleek and satisfied. The Mouse asked at once after the third child’s name.
‘It won’t please you any better,’ said the Cat, ‘he was called Clean Gone.’
‘Cleangone!’ repeated the Mouse. ‘I do not believe that name has been printed any more than the others. Cleangone! What can it mean?’ She shook her head, curled herself up, and went to sleep.
From this time on no one asked the Cat to stand godmother; but when the winter came and there was nothing to be got outside, the Mouse remembered their provision and said, ‘Come, Cat, we will go to our pot of fat which we have stored away; it will taste very good.’
‘Yes, indeed,’ answered the Cat; ‘ it will taste as good to you as if you stretched your thin tongue out of the window.’
They started off, and when they reached it they found the pot in its place, but quite empty!
‘Ah,’ said the Mouse,’ ‘now I know what has happened! It has all come out! You are a true friend to me! You have eaten it all when you stood godmother; first the top off, then half of it gone, then—-’
‘Will you be quiet!’ screamed the Cat. ‘Another word and I will eat you up.’
‘Cleangone’ was already on the poor Mouse’s tongue, and scarcely was it out than the Cat made a spring at her, seized and swallowed her.
You see that is the way of the world.
Hello Everybody, My Name’s natasha, and his Royal Highness Prince Bertie the Frog has commanded me to tell you the storynory of the Tin Solider, by Hans Christian Andersen [version by Andrew Lang]
But first, I’ll share a little gossip I picked up about Bertie. Once, when Bertie was still a prince, before he was turned into a frog, he tried to play with the soldiers who stood guard outside palace, but the Sergeant Major shouted him really loudly, and made his clean his boots and tidy his room, and after that Bertie decided to stick playing with toy soldiers. That’s a secret by the way, so don’t’ tell anyone. Now, Bertie’s asking me to get on with the story, so I had better begin the Storyory of the Steadfast Tin Soldier.
There were once upon a time five-and twenty tin-soldiers–all brothers, as they were made out of the same old tin spoon. Their uniform was red and blue, and they shouldered their guns and looked straight in front of them. The first words that they heard in this world, when the lid of the box in which they lay was taken off, were: ‘Hurrah, tin-soldiers!’ This was exclaimed by a little boy, clapping his hands; they had been given to him because it was his birthday, and now he began setting them out on the table. Each soldier was exactly like the other in shape, except just one, who had been made last when the tin had run short; but there he stood as firmly on his one leg as the others did on two, and he is the one that became famous.
There were many other playthings on the table on which they were being set out, but the nicest of all was a pretty little castle made of cardboard, with windows through which you could see into the rooms. In front of the castle stood some little trees surrounding a tiny mirror which looked like a lake. Wax swans were floating about and reflecting themselves in it. That was all very pretty; but the most beautiful thing was a little lady, who stood in the open doorway. She was cut out of paper, but she had on a dress of the finest muslin, with a scarf of narrow blue ribbon round her shoulders, fastened in the middle with a glittering rose made of gold paper, which was as large as her head. The little lady was stretching out both her arms, for she was a Dancer, and was lifting up one leg so high in the air that the Tin-soldier couldn’t find it anywhere, and thought that she, too, had only one leg.
‘That’s the wife for me!’ he thought; ‘but she is so grand, and lives in a castle, whilst I have only a box with four-and-twenty others. This is no place for her! But I must make her acquaintance.’ Then he stretched himself out behind a snuff-box that lay on the table; from thence he could watch the dainty little lady, who continued to stand on one leg without losing her balance.
When the night came all the other tin-soldiers went into their box, and the people of the house went to bed. Then the toys began to play at visiting, dancing, and fighting. The tin-soldiers rattled in their box, for they wanted to be out too, but they could not raise the lid. The nut-crackers played at leap-frog, and the chalk ran about the blackboard; there was such a noise that the canary woke up and began to talk to them, in poetry too! The only two who did not stir from their places were the Tin-soldier and the little Dancer. She remained on tip-toe, with both arms outstretched; he stood steadfastly on his one leg, never moving his eyes from her face.
The clock struck twelve, and crack! off flew the lid of the spice- box; but there were no spices inside, nor any hot curry powder, only a little imp–that was the beauty of it. Now an imp is a magical creature, a little like a fairy, only more naughty.
‘Hullo, Tin-soldier!’ said the imp. ‘Don’t look at things that aren’t intended for the likes of you!’ She meant that he shouldn’t look at the little dander.
But the Tin-soldier took no notice, and seemed not to hear.
‘Very well, wait till to-morrow!’ said the imp.
When it was morning, and the children had got up, the Tin-soldier was put in the window; and whether it was the wind or the little imp, I don’t know, but all at once the window flew open and out fell the little Tin-soldier, head over heels, from the third- storey window! That was a terrible fall, I can tell you! He landed on his head with his leg in the air, his gun being wedged between two paving-stones.
The nursery-maid and the little boy came down at once to look for him, but, though they were so near him that they almost trod on him, they did not notice him. If the Tin-soldier had only called out ‘Here I am!’ they must have found him; but he did not think it fitting for him to cry out, because he had on his uniform.
Soon it began to drizzle; then the drops came faster, and there was a regular down-pour. When it was over, two little street boys came along.
‘Just look!’ cried one. ‘Here is a Tin-soldier! He shall sail up and down in a boat!’
So they made a little boat out of newspaper, put the Tin-soldier in it, and made him sail up and down the gutter; both the boys ran along beside him, clapping their hands. What great waves there were in the gutter, and what a swift current! The paper-boat tossed up and down, and in the middle of the stream it went so quick that the Tin-soldier trembled; but he remained steadfast, showed no emotion, looked straight in front of him, shouldering his gun. All at once the boat passed under a long tunnel that was as dark as his box had been.
‘Where can I be coming now?’ he wondered. ‘Oh, dear! This is the imp’s fault! Ah, if only the little lady were sitting beside me in the boat, it might be twice as dark for all I should care!’
Suddenly there came along a great water-rat that lived in the tunnel.
‘Have you a passport?’ asked the rat. ‘Out with your passport!’
But the Tin-soldier was silent, and grasped his gun more firmly.
The boat sped on, and the rat behind it. Ugh! how he showed his teeth, as he cried to the chips of wood and straw: ‘Hold him, hold him! he has not paid the toll! He has not shown his passport!’
But the current became swifter and stronger. The Tin-soldier could already see daylight where the tunnel ended; but in his ears there sounded a roaring enough to frighten any brave man. Only think! at the end of the tunnel the gutter discharged itself into a great canal; that would be just as dangerous for him as it would be for us to go down a waterfall.
Now he was so near to it that he could not hold on any longer. On went the boat, the poor Tin-soldier keeping himself as stiff as he could: no one should say of him afterwards that he had flinched. The boat whirled three, four times round, and became filled to the brim with water: it began to sink! The Tin-soldier was standing up to his neck in water, and deeper and deeper sank the boat, and softer and softer grew the paper; now the water was over his head. He was thinking of the pretty little Dancer, whose face he should never see again, and there sounded in his ears, over and over again:
‘Forward, forward, soldier bold! Death’s before thee, grim and cold
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Then the Elephant’s Child grew all breathless, and panted, and kneeled down on the bank and said, ‘You are the very person I have been looking for all these long days. Will you please tell me what you have for dinner?’
‘Come hither, Little One,’ said the Crocodile, ‘and I’ll whisper.’
Then the Elephant’s Child put his head down close to the Crocodile’s musky, tusky mouth, and the Crocodile caught him by his little nose, which up to that very week, day, hour, and minute, had been no bigger than a boot, though much more useful.
‘I think, said the Crocodile–and he said it between his teeth, like this–’I think to-day I will begin with Elephant’s Child!’
At this, O Best Beloved, the Elephant’s Child was much annoyed, and he said, speaking through his nose, like this, ‘Led go! You are hurtig be!’
Then the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake scuffled down from the bank and said, ‘My young friend, if you do not now, immediately and instantly, pull as hard as ever you can, it is my opinion that your acquaintance in the large-pattern leather ulster’ (and by this he meant the Crocodile) ‘will jerk you into yonder limpid stream before you can say Jack Robinson.’
This is the way Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snakes always talk.
Then the Elephant’s Child sat back on his little haunches, and pulled, and pulled, and pulled, and his nose began to stretch. And the Crocodile floundered into the water, making it all creamy with great sweeps of his tail, and he pulled, and pulled, and pulled.
And the Elephant’s Child’s nose kept on stretching; and the Elephant’s Child spread all his little four legs and pulled, and pulled, and pulled, and his nose kept on stretching; and the Crocodile threshed his tail like an oar, and he pulled, and pulled, and pulled, and at each pull the Elephant’s Child’s nose grew longer and longer–and it hurt him hijjus!
Then the Elephant’s Child felt his legs slipping, and he said through his nose, which was now nearly five feet long, ‘This is too butch for be!’
Then the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake came down from the bank, and knotted himself in a double-clove-hitch round the Elephant’s Child’s hind legs, and said, ‘Rash and inexperienced traveller, we will now seriously devote ourselves to a little high tension, because if we do not, it is my impression that yonder self-propelling man-of-war with the armour-plated upper deck’ (and by this, O Best Beloved, he meant the Crocodile), ‘will permanently vitiate your future career.
That is the way all Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snakes always talk.
So he pulled, and the Elephant’s Child pulled, and the Crocodile pulled; but the Elephant’s Child and the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake pulled hardest; and at last the Crocodile let go of the Elephant’s Child’s nose with a plop that you could hear all up and down the Limpopo.
Then the Elephant’s Child sat down most hard and sudden; but first he was careful to say ‘Thank you’ to the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake; and next he was kind to his poor pulled nose, and wrapped it all up in cool banana leaves, and hung it in the great grey-green, greasy Limpopo to cool.
‘What are you doing that for?’ said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake.
”Scuse me,’ said the Elephant’s Child, ‘but my nose is badly out of shape, and I am waiting for it to shrink.
‘Then you will have to wait a long time, said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake. ‘Some people do not know what is good for them.’
The Elephant’s Child sat there for three days waiting for his nose to shrink. But it never grew any shorter, and, besides, it made him squint. For, O Best Beloved, you will see and understand that the Crocodile had pulled it out into a really truly trunk same as all Elephants have to-day.
At the end of the third day a fly came and stung him on the shoulder, and before he knew what he was doing he lifted up his trunk and hit that fly dead with the end of it.
”Vantage number one!’ said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake. ‘You couldn’t have done that with a mere-smear nose. Try and eat a little now.’
Before he thought what he was doing the Elephant’s Child put out his trunk and plucked a large bundle of grass, dusted it clean against his fore-legs, and stuffed it into his own mouth.
‘Vantage number two!’ said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake. ‘You couldn’t have done that with a mear-smear nose. Don’t you think the sun is very hot here?’
‘It is,’ said the Elephant’s Child, and before he thought what he was doing he schlooped up a schloop of mud from the banks of the great grey-green, greasy Limpopo, and slapped it on his head, where it made a cool schloopy-sloshy mud-cap all trickly behind his ears.
‘Vantage number three!’ said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake. ‘You couldn’t have done that with a mere-smear nose. Now how do you feel about being spanked again?’
”Scuse me,’ said the Elephant’s Child, ‘but I should not like it at all.’
‘How would you like to spank somebody?’ said the Bi- Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake.
‘I should like it very much indeed,’ said the Elephant’s Child.
‘Well,’ said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake, ‘you will find that new nose of yours very useful to spank people with.’
‘Thank you,’ said the Elephant’s Child, ‘I’ll remember that; and now I think I’ll go home to all my dear families and try.’
So the Elephant’s Child went home across Africa frisking and whisking his trunk. When he wanted fruit to eat he pulled fruit down from a tree, instead of waiting for it to fall as he used to do. When he wanted grass he plucked grass up from the ground, instead of going on his knees as he used to do. When the flies bit him he broke off the branch of a tree and used it as fly-whisk; and he made himself a new, cool, slushy-squshy mud-cap whenever the sun was hot. When he felt lonely walking through Africa he sang to himself down his trunk, and the noise was louder than several brass bands.
He went especially out of his way to find a broad Hippopotamus (she was no relation of his), and he spanked her very hard, to make sure that the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake had spoken the truth about his new trunk. The rest of the time he picked up the melon rinds that he had dropped on his way to the Limpopo–for he was a Tidy Pachyderm.
One dark evening he came back to all his dear families, and he coiled up his trunk and said, ‘How do you do?’ They were very glad to see him, and immediately said, ‘Come here and be spanked for your ‘satiable curtiosity.’
‘Pooh,’ said the Elephant’s Child. ‘I don’t think you peoples know anything about spanking; but I do, and I’ll show you.’ Then he uncurled his trunk and knocked two of his dear brothers head over heels.
‘O Bananas!’ said they, ‘where did you learn that trick, and what have you done to your nose?’
‘I got a new one from the Crocodile on the banks of the great grey-green, greasy Limpopo River,’ said the Elephant’s Child. ‘I asked him what he had for dinner, and he gave me this to keep.’
‘It looks very ugly,’ said his hairy uncle, the Baboon.
‘It does,’ said the Elephant’s Child. ‘But it’s very useful,’ and he picked up his hairy uncle, the Baboon, by one hairy leg, and hove him into a hornet’s nest.
Then that bad Elephant’s Child spanked all his dear families for a long time, till they were very warm and greatly astonished. He pulled out his tall Ostrich aunt’s tail-feathers; and he caught his tall uncle, the Giraffe, by the hind-leg, and dragged him through a thorn-bush; and he shouted at his broad aunt, the Hippopotamus, and blew bubbles into her ear when she was sleeping in the water after meals; but he never let any one touch Kolokolo Bird.
At last things grew so exciting that his dear families went off one by one in a hurry to the banks of the great grey-green, greasy Limpopo River, all set about with fever-trees, to borrow new noses from the Crocodile. When they came back nobody spanked anybody any more; and ever since that day, O Best Beloved, all the Elephants you will ever see, besides all those that you won’t, have trunks precisely like the trunk of the ‘satiable Elephant’s Child.
There was once a merchant who was so rich that he could have paved the whole street, and perhaps even a little side-street besides, with silver. But he did not do that; he knew another way of spending his money. If he spent a shilling he got back a florin-such an excellent merchant he was till he died.
Now his son inherited all this money. He lived very merrily; he went every night to the theatre, made paper kites out of five-pound notes, and played ducks and drakes with sovereigns instead of stones. In this way the money was likely to come soon to an end, and so it did.
At last he had nothing left but four shillings, and he had no clothes except a pair of slippers and an old dressing-gown.
His friends did not trouble themselves any more about him; they would not even walk down the street with him.
But one of them who was rather good-natured sent him an old trunk with the message, ‘Pack up!” That was all very well, but he had nothing to pack up, so he got into the trunk himself.
It was an enchanted trunk, for as soon as the lock was pressed it could fly. He pressed it, and away he flew in it up the chimney, high into the clouds, further and further away. But whenever the bottom gave a little creak he was in terror lest the trunk should go to pieces, for then he would have turned a dreadful somersault-just think of it!
In this way he arrived at the land of the Turks. He hid the trunk in a wood under some dry leaves, and then walked into the town. He could do that quite well, for all the Turks were dressed just as he was-in a dressing-gown and slippers.
He met a nurse with a little child.
‘Halloa! you Turkish nurse,’ said he, ‘what is that great castle there close to the town? The one with the windows so high up?’
‘The sultan’s daughter lives there,’ she replied. ‘It is prophesied that she will be very unlucky in her husband, and so no one is allowed to see her except when the sultan and sultana are by.’
‘Thank you,’ said the merchant’s son, and he went into the wood, sat himself in his trunk, flew on to the roof, and crept through the window into the princess’s room.
She was lying on the sofa asleep, and was so beautiful that the young merchant had to kiss her. Then she woke up and was very much frightened, but he said he was a Turkish god who had come through the air to see her, and that pleased her very much.
They sat close to each other, and he told her a story about her eyes. They were beautiful dark lakes in which her thoughts swam about like mermaids. And her forehead was a snowy mountain, grand and shining. These were lovely stories.
Then he asked the princess to marry him, and she said yes at once.
‘But you must come here on Saturday,’ she said, ‘for then the sultan and the sultana are coming to tea with me. They will be indeed proud that I receive the god of the Turks. But mind you have a really good story ready, for my parents like them immensely. My mother likes something rather moral and high-flown, and my father likes something merry to make him laugh.’
‘Yes, I shall only bring a fairy story for my dowry,’ said he, and so they parted. But the princess gave him a sabre set with gold pieces which he could use.
Then he flew away, bought himself a new dressing-gown, and sat down in the wood and began to make up a story, for it had to be ready by Saturday, and that was no easy matter.
When he had it ready it was Saturday.
The sultan, the sultana, and the whole court were at tea with the princess.
He was most graciously received.
‘Will you tell us a story?’ said the sultana; ‘one that is thoughtful and instructive?’
‘But something that we can laugh at,’ said the sultan.
‘Oh, certainly,’ he replied, and began: ‘Now, listen attentively. There was once a box of matches which lay between a tinder-box and an old iron pot, and they told the story of their youth.
‘”We used to be on the green fir-boughs. Every morning and evening we had diamond-tea, which was the dew, and the whole day long we had sunshine, and the little birds used to tell us stories. We were very rich, because the other trees only dressed in summer, but we had green dresses in summer and in winter. Then the woodcutter came, and our family was split up. We have now the task of making light for the lowest people. That is why we grand people are in the kitchen.”
‘”My fate was quite different,” said the iron pot, near which the matches lay.
‘”Since I came into the world I have been many times scoured, and have cooked much. My only pleasure is to have a good chat with my companions when I am lying nice and clean in my place after dinner.”
‘”Now you are talking too fast,” spluttered the fire.
‘”Yes, let us decide who is the grandest!” said the matches.
‘”No, I don’t like talking about myself,” said the pot.
‘”Let us arrange an evening’s entertainment. I will tell the story of my life.
‘”On the Baltic by the Danish shore-”
‘What a beautiful beginning!” said all the plates. “That’s a story that will please us all.”
‘And the end was just as good as the beginning. All the plates clattered for joy.
‘”Now I will dance,” said the tongs, and she danced. Oh! how high she could kick!
‘The old chair-cover in the corner split when he saw her.
‘The urn would have sung but she said she had a cold; she could not sing unless she boiled.
‘In the window was an old quill pen. There was nothing remarkable about her except that she had been dipped too deeply into the ink. But she was very proud of that.
‘”If the urn will not sing,” said she, “outside the door hangs a nightingale in a cage who will sing.”
‘”I don’t think it’s proper,” said the kettle, “that such a foreign bird should be heard.”
‘”Oh, let us have some acting,” said everyone. “Do let us!”
‘Suddenly the door opened and the maid came in. Everyone was quite quiet. There was not a sound. But each pot knew what he might have done, and how grand he was.
‘The maid took the matches and lit the fire with them. How they spluttered and flamed, to be sure! “Now everyone can see,” they thought, “that we are the grandest! How we sparkle! What a light-”
‘But here they were burnt out.’
‘That was a delightful story!’ said the sultana. ‘I quite feel myself in the kitchen with the matches. Yes, now you shall marry our daughter.’
‘Yes, indeed,’ said the sultan, ‘you shall marry our daughter on Monday.’ And they treated the young man as one of the family.
The wedding was arranged, and the night before the whole town was illuminated.
Biscuits and gingerbreads were thrown among the people, the street boys stood on tiptoe crying hurrahs and whistling through their fingers. It was all splendid.
‘Now I must also give them a treat,’ thought the merchant’s son. And so he bought rockets, crackers, and all the kinds of fireworks you can think of, put them in his trunk, and flew up with them into the air.
Whirr-r-r, how they fizzed and blazed!
All the Turks jumped so high that their slippers flew above their heads; such a splendid glitter they had never seen before.
Now they could quite well understand that it was the god of the Turks himself who was to marry the princess.
As soon as the young merchant came down again into the wood with his trunk he thought, ‘Now I will just go into the town to see how the show has taken.’
And it was quite natural that he should want to do this.
Oh! what stories the people had to tell!
Each one whom he asked had seen it differently, but they had all found it beautiful.
‘I saw the Turkish god himself,’ said one. ‘He had eyes like glittering stars, and a beard like foaming water.’
‘He flew away in a cloak of fire,’ said another. They were splendid things that he heard, and the next day was to be his wedding day.
Then he went back into the wood to sit in his trunk; but what had become of it? The trunk had been burnt. A spark of the fireworks had set it alight, and the trunk was in ashes. He could no longer fly, and could never reach his bride.
She stood the whole day long on the roof and waited; perhaps she is waiting there still.
But he wandered through the world and told stories; though they are not so merry as the one he told about the matches.
IN a town in Persia there dwelt two brothers, one named Cassim, the other Ali Baba. Cassim was married to a rich wife and lived in plenty, while Ali Baba had to maintain his wife and children by cutting wood in a neighboring forest and selling it in the town. One day, when Ali Baba was in the forest, he saw a troop of men on horseback, coming toward him in a cloud of dust. He was afraid they were robbers, and climbed into a tree for safety. When they came up to him and dismounted, he counted forty of them. They unbridled their horses and tied them to trees. The finest man among them, whom Ali Baba took to be their captain, went a little way among some bushes, and said: “Open, Sesame!”[1] so plainly that Ali Baba heard him. A door opened in the rocks, and having made the troop go in, he followed them, and the door shut again of itself. They stayed some time inside, and Ali Baba, fearing they might come out and catch him, was forced to sit patiently in the tree. At last the door opened again, and the Forty Thieves came out. As the Captain went in last he came out first, and made them all pass by him; he then closed the door, saying: “Shut, Sesame!” Every man bridled his horse and mounted, the Captain put himself at their head, and they returned as they came.
Then Ali Baba climbed down and went to the door concealed among the bushes, and said: “Open, Sesame!” and it flew open. Ali Baba, who expected a dull, dismal place, was greatly surprised to find it large and well lighted, hollowed by the hand of man in the form of a vault, which received the light from an opening in the ceiling. He saw rich bales of merchandise–silk, stuff-brocades, all piled together, and gold and silver in heaps, and money in leather purses. He went in and the door shut behind him. He did not look at the silver, but brought out as many bags of gold as he thought his asses, which were browsing outside, could carry, loaded them with the bags, and hid it all with fagots. Using the words: “Shut, Sesame!” he closed the door and went home.
Then he drove his asses into the yard, shut the gates, carried the money-bags to his wife, and emptied them out before her. He bade her keep the secret, and he would go and bury the gold. “Let me first measure it,” said his wife. “I will go borrow a measure of someone, while you dig the hole.” So she ran to the wife of Cassim and borrowed a measure. Knowing Ali Baba’s poverty, the sister was curious to find out what sort of grain his wife wished to measure, and artfully put some suet at the bottom of the measure. Ali Baba’s wife went home and set the measure on the heap of gold, and filled it and emptied it often, to her great content. She then carried it back to her sister, without noticing that a piece of gold was sticking to it, which Cassim’s wife perceived directly her back was turned. She grew very curious, and said to Cassim when he came home: “Cassim, your brother is richer than you. He does not count his money, he measures it.” He begged her to explain this riddle, which she did by showing him the piece of money and telling him where she found it. Then Cassim grew so envious that he could not sleep, and went to his brother in the morning before sunrise. “Ali Baba,” he said, showing him the gold piece, “you pretend to be poor and yet you measure gold.” By this Ali Baba perceived that through his wife’s folly Cassim and his wife knew their secret, so he confessed all and offered Cassim a share. “That I expect,” said Cassim; “but I must know where to find the treasure, otherwise I will discover all, and you will lose all.” Ali Baba, more out of kindness than fear, told him of the cave, and the very words to use. Cassim left Ali Baba, meaning to be beforehand with him and get the treasure for himself. He rose early next morning, and set out with ten mules loaded with great chests. He soon found the place, and the door in the rock. He said: “Open, Sesame!” and the door opened and shut behind him. He could have feasted his eyes all day on the treasures, but he now hastened to gather together as much of it as possible; but when he was ready to go he could not remember what to say for thinking of his great riches. Instead of “Sesame,” he said: “Open, Barley!” and the door remained fast. He named several different sorts of grain, all but the right one, and the door still stuck fast. He was so frightened at the danger he was in that he had as much forgotten the word as if he had never heard it.
About noon the robbers returned to their cave, and saw Cassim’s mules roving about with great chests on their backs. This gave them the alarm; they drew their sabres, and went to the door, which opened on their Captain’s saying: “Open, Sesame!” Cassim, who had heard the trampling of their horses’ feet, resolved to sell his life dearly, so when the door opened he leaped out and threw the Captain down. In vain, however, for the robbers with their sabres soon killed him. On entering the cave they saw all the bags laid ready, and could not imagine how anyone had got in without knowing their secret. They cut Cassim’s body into four quarters, and nailed them up inside the cave, in order to frighten anyone who should venture in, and went away in search of more treasure.
As night drew on Cassim’s wife grew very uneasy, and ran to her brother-in-law, and told him where her husband had gone. Ali Baba did his best to comfort her, and set out to the forest in search of Cassim. The first thing he saw on entering the cave was his dead brother. Full of horror, he put the body on one of his asses, and bags of gold on the other two, and, covering all with some fagots, returned home. He drove the two asses laden with gold into his own yard, and led the other to Cassim’s house. The door was opened by the slave Morgiana, whom he knew to be both brave and cunning. Unloading the ass, he said to her: “This is the body of your master, who has been murdered, but whom we must bury as though he had died in his bed. I will speak with you again, but now tell your mistress I am come.” The wife of Cassim, on learning the fate of her husband, broke out into cries and tears, but Ali Baba offered to take her to live with him and his wife if she would promise to keep his counsel and leave everything to Morgiana; whereupon she agreed, and dried her eyes.
Morgiana, meanwhile, sought an apothecary and asked him for some lozenges. “My poor master,” she said, “can neither eat nor speak, and no one knows what his distemper is.” She carried home the lozenges and returned next day weeping, and asked for an essence only given to those just about to die. Thus, in the evening, no one was surprised to hear the wretched shrieks and cries of Cassim’s wife and Morgiana, telling everyone that Cassim was dead. The day after Morgiana went to an old cobbler near the gates of the town who opened his stall early, put a piece of gold in his hand, and bade him follow her with his needle and thread. Having bound his eyes with a handkerchief, she took him to the room where the body lay, pulled off the bandage, and bade him sew the quarters together, after which she covered his eyes again and led him home. Then they buried Cassim, and Morgiana his slave followed him to the grave, weeping and tearing her hair, while Cassim’s wife stayed at home uttering lamentable cries. Next day she went to live with Ali Baba, who gave Cassim’s shop to his eldest son.
The Forty Thieves, on their return to the cave, were much astonished to find Cassim’s body gone and some of their money-bags. “We are certainly discovered,” said the Captain, “and shall be undone if we cannot find out who it is that knows our secret. Two men must have known it; we have killed one, we must now find the other. To this end one of you who is bold and artful must go into the city dressed as a traveler, and discover whom we have killed, and whether men talk of the strange manner of his death. If the messenger fails he must lose his life, lest we be betrayed.” One of the thieves started up and offered to do this, and after the rest had highly commended him for his bravery he disguised himself, and happened to enter the town at daybreak, just by Baba Mustapha’s stall. The thief bade him good-day, saying: “Honest man, how can you possibly see to stitch at your age?” “Old as I am,” replied the cobbler, “I have very good eyes, and will you believe me when I tell you that I sewed a dead body together in a place where I had less light than I have now.” The robber was overjoyed at his good fortune, and, giving him a piece of gold, desired to be shown the house where he stitched up the dead body. At first Mustapha refused, saying that he had been blindfolded; but when the robber gave him another piece of gold he began to think he might remember the turnings if blindfolded as before. This means succeeded; the robber partly led him, and was partly guided by him, right in front of Cassim’s house, the door of which the robber marked with a piece of chalk. Then, well pleased, he bade farewell to Baba Mustapha and returned to the forest. By and by Morgiana, going out, saw the mark the robber had made, quickly guessed that some mischief was brewing, and fetching a piece of chalk marked two or three doors on each side, without saying anything to her master or mistress.
The thief, meantime, told his comrades of his discovery. The Captain thanked him, and bade him show him the house he had marked. But when they came to it they saw that five or six of the houses were chalked in the same manner. The guide was so confounded that he knew not what answer to make, and when they returned he was at once beheaded for having failed. Another robber was dispatched, and, having won over Baba Mustapha, marked the house in red chalk; but Morgiana being again too clever for them, the second messenger was put to death also. The Captain now resolved to go himself, but, wiser than the others, he did not mark the house, but looked at it so closely that he could not fail to remember it. He returned, and ordered his men to go into the neighboring villages and buy nineteen mules, and thirty-eight leather jars, all empty except one, which was full of oil. The Captain put one of his men, fully armed, into each, rubbing the outside of the jars with oil from the full vessel. Then the nineteen mules were loaded with thirty-seven robbers in jars, and the jar of oil, and reached the town by dusk. The Captain stopped his mules in front of Ali Baba’s house, and said to Ali Baba, who was sitting outside for coolness: “I have brought some oil from a distance to sell at to-morrow’s market, but it is now so late that I know not where to pass the night, unless you will do me the favor to take me in.” Though Ali Baba had seen the Captain of the robbers in the forest, he did not recognize him in the disguise of an oil merchant. He bade him welcome, opened his gates for the mules to enter, and went to Morgiana to bid her prepare a bed and supper for his guest. He brought the stranger into his hall, and after they had supped went again to speak to Morgiana in the kitchen, while the Captain went into the yard under pretense of seeing after his mules, but really to tell his men what to do. Beginning at the first jar and ending at the last, he said to each man: “As soon as I throw some stones from the window of the chamber where I lie, cut the jars open with your knives and come out, and I will be with you in a trice.” He returned to the house, and Morgiana led him to his chamber. She then told Abdallah, her fellow-slave, to set on the pot to make some broth for her master, who had gone to bed. Meanwhile her lamp went out, and she had no more oil in the house. “Do not be uneasy,” said Abdallah; “go into the yard and take some out of one of those jars.” Morgiana thanked him for his advice, took the oil pot, and went into the yard. When she came to the first jar the robber inside said softly: “Is it time?”
Any other slave but Morgiana, on finding a man in the jar instead of the oil she wanted, would have screamed and made a noise; but she, knowing the danger her master was in, bethought herself of a plan, and answered quietly: “Not yet, but presently.” She went to all the jars, giving the same answer, till she came to the jar of oil. She now saw that her master, thinking to entertain an oil merchant, had let thirty-eight robbers into his house. She filled her oil pot, went back to the kitchen, and, having lit her lamp, went again to the oil jar and filled a large kettle full of oil. When it boiled she went and poured enough oil into every jar to stifle and kill the robber inside. When this brave deed was done she went back to the kitchen, put out the fire and the lamp, and waited to see what would happen.
In a quarter of an hour the Captain of the robbers awoke, got up, and opened the window. As all seemed quiet, he threw down some little pebbles which hit the jars. He listened, and as none of his men seemed to stir he grew uneasy, and went down into the yard. On going to the first jar and saying, “Are you asleep?” he smelt the hot boiled oil, and knew at once that his plot to murder Ali Baba and his household had been discovered. He found all the gang was dead, and, missing the oil out of the last jar, became aware of the manner of their death. He then forced the lock of a door leading into a garden, and climbing over several walls made his escape. Morgiana heard and saw all this, and, rejoicing at her success, went to bed and fell asleep.
At daybreak Ali Baba arose, and, seeing the oil jars still there, asked why the merchant had not gone with his mules. Morgiana bade him look in the first jar and see if there was any oil. Seeing a man, he started back in terror. “Have no fear,” said Morgiana; “the man cannot harm you: he is dead.” Ali Baba, when he had recovered somewhat from his astonishment, asked what had become of the merchant. “Merchant!” said she, “he is no more a merchant than I am!” and she told him the whole story, assuring him that it was a plot of the robbers of the forest, of whom only three were left, and that the white and red chalk marks had something to do with it. Ali Baba at once gave Morgiana her freedom, saying that he owed her his life. They then buried the bodies in Ali Baba’s garden, while the mules were sold in the market by his slaves.
The Captain returned to his lonely cave, which seemed frightful to him without his lost companions, and firmly resolved to avenge them by killing Ali Baba. He dressed himself carefully, and went into the town, where he took lodgings in an inn. In the course of a great many journeys to the forest he carried away many rich stuffs and much fine linen, and set up a shop opposite that of Ali Baba’s son. He called himself Cogia Hassan, and as he was both civil and well dressed he soon made friends with Ali Baba’s son, and through him with Ali Baba, whom he was continually asking to sup with him. Ali Baba, wishing to return his kindness, invited him into his house and received him smiling, thanking him for his kindness to his son. When the merchant was about to take his leave Ali Baba stopped him, saying: “Where are you going, sir, in such haste? Will you not stay and sup with me?” The merchant refused, saying that he had a reason; and, on Ali Baba’s asking him what that was, he replied: “It is, sir, that I can eat no victuals that have any salt in them.” “If that is all,” said Ali Baba, “let me tell you that there shall be no salt in either the meat or the bread that we eat to-night.” He went to give this order to Morgiana, who was much surprised. “Who is this man,” she said, “who eats no salt with his meat?” “He is an honest man, Morgiana,” returned her master; “therefore do as I bid you.” But she could not withstand a desire to see this strange man, so she helped Abdallah to carry up the dishes, and saw in a moment that Cogia Hassan was the robber Captain, and carried a dagger under his garment. “I am not surprised,” she said to herself, “that this wicked man, who intends to kill my master, will eat no salt with him; but I will hinder his plans.”
She sent up the supper by Abdallah, while she made ready for one of the boldest acts that could be thought on. When the dessert had been served, Cogia Hassan was left alone with Ali Baba and his son, whom he thought to make drunk and then to murder them. Morgiana, meanwhile, put on a head-dress like a dancing-girl’s, and clasped a girdle round her waist, from which hung a dagger with a silver hilt, and said to Abdallah: “Take your tabor, and let us go and divert our master and his guest.” Abdallah took his tabor and played before Morgiana until they came to the door, where Abdallah stopped playing and Morgiana made a low courtesy. “Come in, Morgiana,” said Ali Baba, “and let Cogia Hassan see what you can do”; and, turning to Cogia Hassan, he said: “She’s my slave and my housekeeper.” Cogia Hassan was by no means pleased, for he feared that his chance of killing Ali Baba was gone for the present; but he pretended great eagerness to see Morgiana, and Abdallah began to play and Morgiana to dance. After she had performed several dances she drew her dagger and made passes with it, sometimes pointing it at her own breast, sometimes at her master’s, as if it were part of the dance. Suddenly, out of breath, she snatched the tabor from Abdallah with her left hand, and, holding the dagger in her right hand, held out the tabor to her master. Ali Baba and his son put a piece of gold into it, and Cogia Hassan, seeing that she was coming to him, pulled out his purse to make her a present, but while he was putting his hand into it Morgiana plunged the dagger into his heart.
“Unhappy girl!” cried Ali Baba and his son, “what have you done to ruin us?”
“It was to preserve you, master, not to ruin you,” answered Morgiana. “See here,” opening the false merchant’s garment and showing the dagger; “see what an enemy you have entertained! Remember, he would eat no salt with you, and what more would you have? Look at him! he is both the false oil merchant and the Captain of the Forty Thieves.”
Ali Baba was so grateful to Morgiana for thus saving his life that he offered her to his son in marriage, who readily consented, and a few days after the wedding was celebrated with greatest splendor.
At the end of a year Ali Baba, hearing nothing of the two remaining robbers, judged they were dead, and set out to the cave. The door opened on his saying: “Open Sesame!” He went in, and saw that nobody had been there since the Captain left it. He brought away as much gold as he could carry, and returned to town. He told his son the secret of the cave, which his son handed down in his turn, so the children and grandchildren of Ali Baba were rich to the end of their lives.
ONCE there was a gentleman who married, for his second wife, the proudest and most haughty woman that was ever seen. She had been married before, and already had two daughters who were exactly like her in all things. He had likewise, by his first wife, a young daughter, but of unequalled goodness and sweetness of temper, which she took from her mother, who was the best creature in the world. This sweet little girl missed her mother, who had died, terribly much.
No sooner was the wedding ceremony over, than the new wife began to show herself in her true colors. She could not bear the goodness of the gentleman’s pretty girl, and especially as she made her own daughters appear the more horrid. She made her do the meanest jobs in the house: the girl scoured the dishes and tables, and scrubbed the stepmother’s bathroom, and those of her daughters; she slept in a little attic, upon a wretched straw bed, while her sisters lay upon beds with the softest pillows, in fine rooms, with floors covered with beautiful carpets, and walls on which hung looking-glasses so large that they might see themselves at their full length from head to foot.
The poor girl bore all patiently, and dared not tell her father, who would have been angry with her; for his new wife ruled him entirely. When the little girl had done her work, she used to go into the chimney-corner, and sit down among cinders and ashes, which led her to be called Cinderwench; but the youngest step-daughter, who was not quite so rude and unkind as the eldest, called her Cinderella. However, Cinderella, even though she was dressed in rags, was a hundred times prettier than her sisters, though they were always dressed very richly.
It happened that the King’s son gave a ball, and invited all finest gentlemen and ladies of the city. Our young misses were also invited, for they were always to be seen at fashionable parties. They were truly delighted at this invitation, and wonderfully busy in choosing such gowns, petticoats, and head-clothes as might suit them. This was a new trouble to Cinderella; for it was she who washed and ironed her sisters’ clothes and got all their things ready. Meanwhile, the sisters talked all day long of nothing but what they should wear to the ball.
“For my part,” said the eldest, “I will wear my red velvet suit with French trimming.”
“And I,” said the youngest, “shall have my usual petticoat; but then, to make amends for that, I will put on my gold-flowered gown, and my diamond belt, which is far from being the most ordinary one in the world.”
But in truth, they were still not absolutely sure what would be best to wear to the ball, so they sent for the best fashion designer they could find to advise on their evening dresses, and they had their nails maniqured at Mademoiselle de la Poche.
Cinderella was likewise called up to them for advice, for she had excellent judgement, and advised them always for the best, indeed, and offered her services to make up their hair, which they were very willing she should do. As she was doing this, they said to her:
“Cinderella, would you not be glad to go to the ball?”
“Alas!” said she, “you only jeer me; it is not for a poor girl like me to go there.”
“You’re quite right,” replied they; “it would make the people laugh to see a Cinderwench at a ball.”
Anyone but Cinderella would have dressed their heads all wrong, but she was very good, and dressed them perfectly well.
The step-sisters were almost two days without eating, so much were they thrilled and excited. They broke above a dozen corsettes in trying to be laced up tightly, so that they might have a fine slender shape, and they were continually at their looking-glass. At last the happy day came; they went to Court, and Cinderella followed them with her eyes as long as she could, and when she had lost sight of them, she fell a-crying.
Just then, her fairy-godmother, who used to watch-over her secretly, saw her all in tears, and appeared at her side and asked her what was the matter.
“I wish I could–I wish I could–”; she was not able to speak the rest, being interrupted by her tears and sobbing.
This fairy godmother of hers said to her, “You wish you could go to the ball; is it not so?”
“Y–es,” cried Cinderella, with a great sigh.
“Well,” said her godmother, “be but a good girl, and I will see that you shall go to the ball.” Then she took her into her secret room, and said to her, “Run into the garden, and bring me a pumpkin.”
Cinderella went immediately to gather the finest she could get, and brought it to her godmother, not being able to imagine how this pumpkin could make her go to the ball. Her godmother scooped out all the inside of the big vegitable, leaving nothing but the rind; which done, she struck it with her wand, and the pumpkin was instantly turned into a fine coach, gilded all over with gold.
She then went to look into her mouse-trap, where she found six mice, all alive, and ordered Cinderella to lift up a little the trapdoor. As each mouse went out, she gave it a little tap with her wand, and the mouse was that moment turned into a fine horse, which altogether made a very fine set of six horses of a beautiful mouse-colored dapple-gray. But they still needed a coachman,
“I will go and see,” says Cinderella, “if there is a rat in the rat-trap–we may make a coachman of him.”
“You’re a smart one,” replied her godmother; “go and look.”
Cinderella brought the trap to her, and in it there were three huge rats. The fairy made choice of one of the three which had the largest beard, and, having touched him with her wand, he was turned into a fat, jolly coach- man, who had the smartest whiskers eyes ever beheld. After that, she said to her:
“Go again into the garden, and you will find six lizards behind the watering-pot, bring them to me.”
She had no sooner done so but her godmother turned them into six footmen, who skipped up immediately behind the coach, with their uniforms all bedaubed with gold and silver, and clung as close behind each other as if they had done nothing else their whole lives. The Fairy then said to Cinderella:
“Well, you have here transport fit to take you to the ball; are you not pleased with it?”
“Oh! yes,” cried she; “but must I go there as I am, in these nasty rags?”
Her godmother only just touched her with her wand, and, at the same instant, her clothes were turned into cloth of gold and silver, all beset with jewels. This done, she gave her a pair of glass slippers, the prettiest in the whole world. Being thus decked out, she got up into her coach; but her godmother, above all things, commanded her not to stay till after midnight, telling her, at the same time, that if she stayed one moment longer, the coach would be a pumpkin again, her horses mice, her coachman a rat, her footmen lizards, and her clothes become just as they were before.
She promised her godmother she would not fail of leaving the ball before midnight; and then away she drives, scarce able to contain herself for joy. The King’s son who was told that a great princess, whom nobody knew, was come, ran out to receive her; he gave her his hand as she alighted out of the coach, and led her into the ball, among all the company. There was immediately a profound silence, they left off dancing, and the violins ceased to play, so attentive was everyone to contemplate the singular beauties of the unknown new-comer. Nothing was then heard but a confused noise of:
“Ha! how lovey she is! Ha! how lovely she is!”
The King himself, old as he was, could not help watching her, and telling the Queen softly that it was a long time since he had seen so beautiful and lovely a creature.
All the ladies were busied in considering her clothes and headdress, that they might have some made next day after the same pattern, provided they could meet with such fine material and as able hands to make them.
The King’s son led her to the most honorable seat, and afterward took her out to dance with him; she danced so very gracefully that they all more and more admired her. A fine banquet was served up, of which the young prince ate not a morsel, so intently was he busied in gazing on her.
She went and sat down by her sisters, showing them a thousand polite gestures, giving them part of the oranges and lemon blosoms which the Prince had presented her with, which very much surprised them, for they did not recognise her. While Cinderella was thus amusing her sisters, she heard the clock strike eleven and three-quarters, whereupon she immediately made a courtesy to the company and hasted away as fast as she could.
When she got home she ran to seek out her godmother, and, after having thanked her, she said she could not but heartily wish she might go next day to the ball, because the King’s son had desired her.
As she was eagerly telling her godmother whatever had passed at the ball, her two sisters knocked at the door, which Cinderella ran and opened.
“How long you have stayed!” cried she, gaping, rubbing her eyes and stretching herself as if she had been just waked out of her sleep; she had not, however, any manner of inclination to sleep since they went from home.
“If you had been at the ball,” said one of her sisters, “you would not have been tired with it. There came there the finest princess, the most beautiful ever was seen with mortal eyes; she was a thousand times nice to us, and gave us orange and lemon blossoms.”
Cinderella seemed very indifferent in the matter; indeed, she asked them the name of that princess; but they told her they did not know it, and that the King’s son was very uneasy on her account and would give all the world to know who she was. At this Cinderella, smiling, replied:
“She must, then, be very beautiful indeed; how happy you have been! Could not I see her? Ah! dear Miss Charlotte, do lend me your yellow suit of clothes which you wear every day.”
“Ay, to be sure!” cried Miss Charlotte; “lend my clothes to such a dirty Cinderwench as you! I should be a fool.”
Cinderella, indeed, expected well such answer, and was very glad of the refusal; for she would have been sadly put to it if her sister had lent her what she asked for jokingly.
The next day the two sisters were at the ball, and so was Cinderella, but dressed more magnificently than before. The King’s son was always by her, and never ceased his compliments and kind speeches to her; to whom all this was so far from being tiresome that she quite forgot what her godmother had recommended to her; so that she, at last, counted the clock striking twelve when she took it to be no more than eleven; she then rose up and fled, as nimble as a deer. The Prince followed, but could not overtake her. She left behind one of her glass slippers, which the Prince took up most carefully. She got home but quite out of breath, and in her nasty old clothes, having nothing left her of all her finery but one of the little slippers, fellow to that she dropped. The guards at the palace gate were asked: If they had not seen a princess go out. They replied that had seen nobody go out but a young girl, very meanly dressed, and who had more the air of a poor country wench than a gentlewoman.
When the two sisters returned from the ball Cinderella asked them: If they had been well diverted, and if the fine lady had been there.
They told her: Yes, but that she hurried away immediately when it struck twelve, and with so much haste that she dropped one of her little glass slippers, the prettiest in the world, which the King’s son had taken up; that he had done nothing but look at her all the time at the ball, and that most certainly he was very much in love with the beautiful person who owned the glass slipper.
What they said was very true; for a few days after the King’s son commanded it to be proclaimed, by sound of trumpet, that he would marry the young woman whose foot would perfectly fit the slipper. He sent out his most trusted advsiers from the palace, who began to try it upon the princesses, then the duchesses and all the Court, but in vain; it was brought to the two sisters, who each did all that she possibly could to thrust her foot into the slipper, but neither sister could manage to do so. Cinderella, who saw all this, and knew her slipper, said to them, laughing:
“Let me see if it will not fit me.”
Her sisters burst out a-laughing, and began to tease her. The gentleman who was sent to try the slipper looked earnestly at Cinderella, and, finding her very handsome, said: it was only right that that she should try, and that he had orders to let every girl try.
He asked Cinderella to sit down, and, putting the slipper to her foot, he found it went on very easily, and fitted her as if it had been made of wax. The astonishment her two sisters were in was excessively great, but still abundantly greater when Cinderella pulled out of her pocket the other slipper, and put it on her foot. Thereupon, in came her godmother, who, having touched with her wand Cinderella’s clothes, made them richer and more magnificent than any of those she had before.
And now her two sisters found her to be that fine, beautiful lady whom they had seen at the ball. They threw themselves at her feet to beg pardon for all the ill- treatment they had dished out to her. Cinderella took them up, and, as she embraced them, cried:
That she forgave them with all her heart, and desired them always to love her.
She was brought by carriage to the young prince, dressed as she was; he thought her more charming than ever, and, a few days after, married her. Cinderella, who was no less good than beautiful, gave her two sisters rooms in the palace, and that very same day matched them with two great lords of the Court.
A cat got to know a mouse, and spoke so much of the great love and friendship she felt for her, that at last the Mouse agreed to live in the same house with her, and to go shares in the housekeeping. ‘But we must store up food for the winter or else we shall be hungry,’ said the Cat. ‘And You, little Mouse, cannot venture everywhere in case you run into a trap.’ This good advice was followed, and a little pot of fat was bought. But they did not know where to put it. At length, after long discussion, the Cat said, ‘I know of no place where it could be better put than in the church. No one will trouble to take it away from there. We will hide it in a corner, and we won’t touch it till we really need it.’ So the little pot was placed in safety; but it was not long before the Cat had a great longing for it, and said to the Mouse, ‘I wanted to tell you, little Mouse, that my cousin has a little son, white with brown spots, and she wants me to be godmother to that little kitten. Let me go out to-day, and do you take care of the house alone.’
‘Yes, go certainly,’ replied the Mouse, ‘and when you eat anything good, think of me; I should very much like a drop of the red christening wine.’
But it was all untrue. The Cat had no cousin, and had not been asked to be godmother. She went straight to the church, slunk to the little pot of fat, began to lick it, and licked the top off. Then she took a walk on the roofs of the town, looked at the view, stretched herself out in the sun, and licked her lips whenever she thought of the little pot of fat. As soon as it was evening she went home again.
‘Ah, here you are again!’ said the Mouse; ‘you must certainly have had an enjoyable day.’
‘It went off very well,’ answered the Cat.
‘What was the child’s name?’ asked the Mouse.
‘Top Off,’ said the Cat drily.
‘Topoff!’ echoed the Mouse, ‘it is indeed a wonderful and curious name. Are there others called Topoff in your family?’
‘What is there odd about it?’ said the Cat. ‘It is not worse than Breadthief, as your godchild is called.’
Not long after this another great longing came over the Cat. She said to the Mouse, ‘You must again be kind enough to look after the house alone, for I have been asked a second time to stand godmother, and as this kitten has a white ring round its neck, I cannot refuse.’
The kind Mouse agreed, but the Cat slunk under the town wall to the church, and ate up half of the pot of fat. ‘Nothing tastes better,’ said she, ‘than what one eats by oneself,’ and she was very much pleased with her day’s work. When she came home the Mouse asked, ‘What was this child called?’
‘Half Gone,’ answered the Cat.
‘Halfgone! what a name! I have never heard it in my life. I don’t believe it is in any book!’
Soon the Cat’s mouth began to water once more after her licking business. ‘All good things in threes,’ she said to the Mouse; ‘I have again to stand godmother. The child is quite black, and has very white paws, but not a single white hair on its body. This only happens once in two years, so you will let me go out?’
‘Topoff! Halfgone!’ repeated the Mouse, ‘they are such curious names; they make me very thoughtful.’
‘Oh, you sit at home in your dark grey coat and your long tail,’ said the Cat, ‘and you get fanciful. That comes of not going out in the day.’
The Mouse had a good cleaning out while the Cat was gone, and made the house tidy; but the greedy Cat ate the fat every bit up.
‘
When it is all gone one can be at rest,’ she said to herself, and at night she came home sleek and satisfied. The Mouse asked at once after the third child’s name.
‘It won’t please you any better,’ said the Cat, ‘he was called Clean Gone.’
‘Cleangone!’ repeated the Mouse. ‘I do not believe that name has been printed any more than the others. Cleangone! What can it mean?’ She shook her head, curled herself up, and went to sleep.
From this time on no one asked the Cat to stand godmother; but when the winter came and there was nothing to be got outside, the Mouse remembered their provision and said, ‘Come, Cat, we will go to our pot of fat which we have stored away; it will taste very good.’
‘Yes, indeed,’ answered the Cat; ‘ it will taste as good to you as if you stretched your thin tongue out of the window.’
They started off, and when they reached it they found the pot in its place, but quite empty!
‘Ah,’ said the Mouse,’ ‘now I know what has happened! It has all come out! You are a true friend to me! You have eaten it all when you stood godmother; first the top off, then half of it gone, then—-’
‘Will you be quiet!’ screamed the Cat. ‘Another word and I will eat you up.’
‘Cleangone’ was already on the poor Mouse’s tongue, and scarcely was it out than the Cat made a spring at her, seized and swallowed her.
You see that is the way of the world.
Hello Everybody, My Name’s natasha, and his Royal Highness Prince Bertie the Frog has commanded me to tell you the storynory of the Tin Solider, by Hans Christian Andersen [version by Andrew Lang]
But first, I’ll share a little gossip I picked up about Bertie. Once, when Bertie was still a prince, before he was turned into a frog, he tried to play with the soldiers who stood guard outside palace, but the Sergeant Major shouted him really loudly, and made his clean his boots and tidy his room, and after that Bertie decided to stick playing with toy soldiers. That’s a secret by the way, so don’t’ tell anyone. Now, Bertie’s asking me to get on with the story, so I had better begin the Storyory of the Steadfast Tin Soldier.
There were once upon a time five-and twenty tin-soldiers–all brothers, as they were made out of the same old tin spoon. Their uniform was red and blue, and they shouldered their guns and looked straight in front of them. The first words that they heard in this world, when the lid of the box in which they lay was taken off, were: ‘Hurrah, tin-soldiers!’ This was exclaimed by a little boy, clapping his hands; they had been given to him because it was his birthday, and now he began setting them out on the table. Each soldier was exactly like the other in shape, except just one, who had been made last when the tin had run short; but there he stood as firmly on his one leg as the others did on two, and he is the one that became famous.
There were many other playthings on the table on which they were being set out, but the nicest of all was a pretty little castle made of cardboard, with windows through which you could see into the rooms. In front of the castle stood some little trees surrounding a tiny mirror which looked like a lake. Wax swans were floating about and reflecting themselves in it. That was all very pretty; but the most beautiful thing was a little lady, who stood in the open doorway. She was cut out of paper, but she had on a dress of the finest muslin, with a scarf of narrow blue ribbon round her shoulders, fastened in the middle with a glittering rose made of gold paper, which was as large as her head. The little lady was stretching out both her arms, for she was a Dancer, and was lifting up one leg so high in the air that the Tin-soldier couldn’t find it anywhere, and thought that she, too, had only one leg.
‘That’s the wife for me!’ he thought; ‘but she is so grand, and lives in a castle, whilst I have only a box with four-and-twenty others. This is no place for her! But I must make her acquaintance.’ Then he stretched himself out behind a snuff-box that lay on the table; from thence he could watch the dainty little lady, who continued to stand on one leg without losing her balance.
When the night came all the other tin-soldiers went into their box, and the people of the house went to bed. Then the toys began to play at visiting, dancing, and fighting. The tin-soldiers rattled in their box, for they wanted to be out too, but they could not raise the lid. The nut-crackers played at leap-frog, and the chalk ran about the blackboard; there was such a noise that the canary woke up and began to talk to them, in poetry too! The only two who did not stir from their places were the Tin-soldier and the little Dancer. She remained on tip-toe, with both arms outstretched; he stood steadfastly on his one leg, never moving his eyes from her face.
The clock struck twelve, and crack! off flew the lid of the spice- box; but there were no spices inside, nor any hot curry powder, only a little imp–that was the beauty of it. Now an imp is a magical creature, a little like a fairy, only more naughty.
‘Hullo, Tin-soldier!’ said the imp. ‘Don’t look at things that aren’t intended for the likes of you!’ She meant that he shouldn’t look at the little dander.
But the Tin-soldier took no notice, and seemed not to hear.
‘Very well, wait till to-morrow!’ said the imp.
When it was morning, and the children had got up, the Tin-soldier was put in the window; and whether it was the wind or the little imp, I don’t know, but all at once the window flew open and out fell the little Tin-soldier, head over heels, from the third- storey window! That was a terrible fall, I can tell you! He landed on his head with his leg in the air, his gun being wedged between two paving-stones.
The nursery-maid and the little boy came down at once to look for him, but, though they were so near him that they almost trod on him, they did not notice him. If the Tin-soldier had only called out ‘Here I am!’ they must have found him; but he did not think it fitting for him to cry out, because he had on his uniform.
Soon it began to drizzle; then the drops came faster, and there was a regular down-pour. When it was over, two little street boys came along.
‘Just look!’ cried one. ‘Here is a Tin-soldier! He shall sail up and down in a boat!’
So they made a little boat out of newspaper, put the Tin-soldier in it, and made him sail up and down the gutter; both the boys ran along beside him, clapping their hands. What great waves there were in the gutter, and what a swift current! The paper-boat tossed up and down, and in the middle of the stream it went so quick that the Tin-soldier trembled; but he remained steadfast, showed no emotion, looked straight in front of him, shouldering his gun. All at once the boat passed under a long tunnel that was as dark as his box had been.
‘Where can I be coming now?’ he wondered. ‘Oh, dear! This is the imp’s fault! Ah, if only the little lady were sitting beside me in the boat, it might be twice as dark for all I should care!’
Suddenly there came along a great water-rat that lived in the tunnel.
‘Have you a passport?’ asked the rat. ‘Out with your passport!’
But the Tin-soldier was silent, and grasped his gun more firmly.
The boat sped on, and the rat behind it. Ugh! how he showed his teeth, as he cried to the chips of wood and straw: ‘Hold him, hold him! he has not paid the toll! He has not shown his passport!’
But the current became swifter and stronger. The Tin-soldier could already see daylight where the tunnel ended; but in his ears there sounded a roaring enough to frighten any brave man. Only think! at the end of the tunnel the gutter discharged itself into a great canal; that would be just as dangerous for him as it would be for us to go down a waterfall.
Now he was so near to it that he could not hold on any longer. On went the boat, the poor Tin-soldier keeping himself as stiff as he could: no one should say of him afterwards that he had flinched. The boat whirled three, four times round, and became filled to the brim with water: it began to sink! The Tin-soldier was standing up to his neck in water, and deeper and deeper sank the boat, and softer and softer grew the paper; now the water was over his head. He was thinking of the pretty little Dancer, whose face he should never see again, and there sounded in his ears, over and over again:
‘Forward, forward, soldier bold! Death’s before thee, grim and cold!’
The paper came in two, and the soldier fell–but at that moment he was swallowed by a great fish.
Oh! how dark it was inside, even darker than in the tunnel, and it was really very close quarters! But there the steadfast little Tin-soldier lay full length, shouldering his gun.
Up and down swam the fish, then he made the most dreadful contortions, and became suddenly quite still. Then it was as if a flash of lightning had passed through him; the daylight streamed in, and a voice exclaimed, ‘Why, here is the little Tin-soldier!’ The fish had been caught, taken to market, sold, and brought into the kitchen, where the cook had cut it open with a great knife. She took up the soldier between her finger and thumb, and carried him into the room, where everyone wanted to see the hero who had been found inside a fish; but the Tin-soldier was not at all proud. They put him on the table, and–no, but what strange things do happen in this world!–the Tin-soldier was in the same room in which he had been before! He saw the same children, and the same toys on the table; and there was the same grand castle with the pretty little Dancer. She was still standing on one leg with the other high in the air; she too was steadfast. That touched the Tin-soldier, he was nearly going to shed tin-tears; but that would not have been fitting for a soldier. He looked at her, but she said nothing.
All at once one of the little boys took up the Tin-soldier, and threw him into the stove, giving no reasons; but doubtless the imp in the spice-box was at the bottom of this too.
There the Tin-soldier lay, and felt a heat that was truly terrible; but whether he was suffering from actual fire, or from the ardour of his passion, he did not know. All his colour had disappeared; whether this had happened on his travels or whether it was the result of trouble, who can say? He looked at the little lady, she looked at him, and he felt that he was melting; but he remained steadfast, with his gun at his shoulder. Suddenly a door opened, the draught caught up the little Dancer, and off she flew like a fairy to the Tin-soldier in the stove, burst into flames–and that was the end of her! Then the Tin-soldier melted down into a little lump, and when next morning the maid was taking out the ashes, she found him in the shape of a heart. There was nothing left of the little Dancer but her gilt rose, burnt as black as a cinder.
And that’s the Storynory of The Steadfast Tin Soldier. I think the ending was rather sad, don’t you? He was such a brave little soldier. But not all stories have happy endings. Bertie says that when he was a prince, he always looked after all his toys, really carefully, and always put them away in their correct places. He would never lose a good little soldier like the one in the story.
ONCE upon a time there dwelt on the outskirts of a large forest a poor woodcutter with his wife and two children; the boy was called Hansel and the girl Grettel. He had always little enough to live on, and once, when times were bad, they had to get by with one piece of bread and butter each. One night, as he was tossing about in bed, full of cares and worry, he sighed and said to his wife: “What’s to become of us? how are we to feed our poor children, now that we have nothing more for our
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ALL ABOUT JEFFREY MORRIS
Director Summary
Mr Jeffrey Clive Morris has 41 company director or secretary appointments.
Short name - Jeffrey Morris
Month/Year of Birth: 12/1958
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Address
57 Cardigan Lane
Leeds
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United Kingdom
LS4 2LE
Company Summary
Company Name Company Status
TELLBROOK LIMITED In Liquidation
IMJACK SECURE COMMUNICATIONS LIMITED In Liquidation
WAMEY LIMITED Operating under Voluntary Arrangement
LETTAR LIMITED Active
ECLIPSE FILM PARTNERS NO. 17 LLP Active
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MORCO GROUP LIMITED Active
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HAK DEVELOPMENTS LIMITED Dissolved
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IMJACK PLC In Liquidation (Director Resigned)
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Brilliant
Looks like someone has hit a Morris nerve and all the fat fuck, JEFFREY MORRIS, can do is post transcripts of childrens novels by way of deflecting attention.
The funny thing is that the more novels that are posted the more accurate and more in-depth information will be posted on this and other forums.
Jeffrey you little c**t. You have always tried to bully people but now it's gone full circle.
OH HOW THE TRUTH DOETH HURT!!!!
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Whirr-r-r, how they fizzed and blazed!
All the Turks jumped so high that their slippers flew above their heads; such a splendid glitter they had never seen before.
Now they could quite well understand that it was the god of the Turks himself who was to marry the princess.
As soon as the young merchant came down again into the wood with his trunk he thought, ‘Now I will just go into the town to see how the show has taken.’
And it was quite natural that he should want to do this.
Oh! what stories the people had to tell!
Each one whom he asked had seen it differently, but they had all found it beautiful.
‘I saw the Turkish god himself,’ said one. ‘He had eyes like glittering stars, and a beard like foaming water.’
‘He flew away in a cloak of fire,’ said another. They were splendid things that he heard, and the next day was to be his wedding day.
Then he went back into the wood to sit in his trunk; but what had become of it? The trunk had been burnt. A spark of the fireworks had set it alight, and the trunk was in ashes. He could no longer fly, and could never reach his bride.
She stood the whole day long on the roof and waited; perhaps she is waiting there still.
But he wandered through the world and told stories; though they are not so merry as the one he told about the matches.
IN a town in Persia there dwelt two brothers, one named Cassim, the other Ali Baba. Cassim was married to a rich wife and lived in plenty, while Ali Baba had to maintain his wife and children by cutting wood in a neighboring forest and selling it in the town. One day, when Ali Baba was in the forest, he saw a troop of men on horseback, coming toward him in a cloud of dust. He was afraid they were robbers, and climbed into a tree for safety. When they came up to him and dismounted, he counted forty of them. They unbridled their horses and tied them to trees. The finest man among them, whom Ali Baba took to be their captain, went a little way among some bushes, and said: “Open, Sesame!”[1] so plainly that Ali Baba heard him. A door opened in the rocks, and having made the troop go in, he followed them, and the door shut again of itself. They stayed some time inside, and Ali Baba, fearing they might come out and catch him, was forced to sit patiently in the tree. At last the door opened again, and the Forty Thieves came out. As the Captain went in last he came out first, and made them all pass by him; he then closed the door, saying: “Shut, Sesame!” Every man bridled his horse and mounted, the Captain put himself at their head, and they returned as they came.
Then Ali Baba climbed down and went to the door concealed among the bushes, and said: “Open, Sesame!” and it flew open. Ali Baba, who expected a dull, dismal place, was greatly surprised to find it large and well lighted, hollowed by the hand of man in the form of a vault, which received the light from an opening in the ceiling. He saw rich bales of merchandise–silk, stuff-brocades, all piled together, and gold and silver in heaps, and money in leather purses. He went in and the door shut behind him. He did not look at the silver, but brought out as many bags of gold as he thought his asses, which were browsing outside, could carry, loaded them with the bags, and hid it all with fagots. Using the words: “Shut, Sesame!” he closed the door and went home.
Then he drove his asses into the yard, shut the gates, carried the money-bags to his wife, and emptied them out before her. He bade her keep the secret, and he would go and bury the gold. “Let me first measure it,” said his wife. “I will go borrow a measure of someone, while you dig the hole.” So she ran to the wife of Cassim and borrowed a measure. Knowing Ali Baba’s poverty, the sister was curious to find out what sort of grain his wife wished to measure, and artfully put some suet at the bottom of the measure. Ali Baba’s wife went home and set the measure on the heap of gold, and filled it and emptied it often, to her great content. She then carried it back to her sister, without noticing that a piece of gold was sticking to it, which Cassim’s wife perceived directly her back was turned. She grew very curious, and said to Cassim when he came home: “Cassim, your brother is richer than you. He does not count his money, he measures it.” He begged her to explain this riddle, which she did by showing him the piece of money and telling him where she found it. Then Cassim grew so envious that he could not sleep, and went to his brother in the morning before sunrise. “Ali Baba,” he said, showing him the gold piece, “you pretend to be poor and yet you measure gold.” By this Ali Baba perceived that through his wife’s folly Cassim and his wife knew their secret, so he confessed all and offered Cassim a share. “That I expect,” said Cassim; “but I must know where to find the treasure, otherwise I will discover all, and you will lose all.” Ali Baba, more out of kindness than fear, told him of the cave, and the very words to use. Cassim left Ali Baba, meaning to be beforehand with him and get the treasure for himself. He rose early next morning, and set out with ten mules loaded with great chests. He soon found the place, and the door in the rock. He said: “Open, Sesame!” and the door opened and shut behind him. He could have feasted his eyes all day on the treasures, but he now hastened to gather together as much of it as possible; but when he was ready to go he could not remember what to say for thinking of his great riches. Instead of “Sesame,” he said: “Open, Barley!” and the door remained fast. He named several different sorts of grain, all but the right one, and the door still stuck fast. He was so frightened at the danger he was in that he had as much forgotten the word as if he had never heard it.
About noon the robbers returned to their cave, and saw Cassim’s mules roving about with great chests on their backs. This gave them the alarm; they drew their sabres, and went to the door, which opened on their Captain’s saying: “Open, Sesame!” Cassim, who had heard the trampling of their horses’ feet, resolved to sell his life dearly, so when the door opened he leaped out and threw the Captain down. In vain, however, for the robbers with their sabres soon killed him. On entering the cave they saw all the bags laid ready, and could not imagine how anyone had got in without knowing their secret. They cut Cassim’s body into four quarters, and nailed them up inside the cave, in order to frighten anyone who should venture in, and went away in search of more treasure.
As night drew on Cassim’s wife grew very uneasy, and ran to her brother-in-law, and told him where her husband had gone. Ali Baba did his best to comfort her, and set out to the forest in search of Cassim. The first thing he saw on entering the cave was his dead brother. Full of horror, he put the body on one of his asses, and bags of gold on the other two, and, covering all with some fagots, returned home. He drove the two asses laden with gold into his own yard, and led the other to Cassim’s house. The door was opened by the slave Morgiana, whom he knew to be both brave and cunning. Unloading the ass, he said to her: “This is the body of your master, who has been murdered, but whom we must bury as though he had died in his bed. I will speak with you again, but now tell your mistress I am come.” The wife of Cassim, on learning the fate of her husband, broke out into cries and tears, but Ali Baba offered to take her to live with him and his wife if she would promise to keep his counsel and leave everything to Morgiana; whereupon she agreed, and dried her eyes.
Morgiana, meanwhile, sought an apothecary and asked him for some lozenges. “My poor master,” she said, “can neither eat nor speak, and no one knows what his distemper is.” She carried home the lozenges and returned next day weeping, and asked for an essence only given to those just about to die. Thus, in the evening, no one was surprised to hear the wretched shrieks and cries of Cassim’s wife and Morgiana, telling everyone that Cassim was dead. The day after Morgiana went to an old cobbler near the gates of the town who opened his stall early, put a piece of gold in his hand, and bade him follow her with his needle and thread. Having bound his eyes with a handkerchief, she took him to the room where the body lay, pulled off the bandage, and bade him sew the quarters together, after which she covered his eyes again and led him home. Then they buried Cassim, and Morgiana his slave followed him to the grave, weeping and tearing her hair, while Cassim’s wife stayed at home uttering lamentable cries. Next day she went to live with Ali Baba, who gave Cassim’s shop to his eldest son.
The Forty Thieves, on their return to the cave, were much astonished to find Cassim’s body gone and some of their money-bags. “We are certainly discovered,” said the Captain, “and shall be undone if we cannot find out who it is that knows our secret. Two men must have known it; we have killed one, we must now find the other. To this end one of you who is bold and artful must go into the city dressed as a traveler, and discover whom we have killed, and whether men talk of the strange manner of his death. If the messenger fails he must lose his life, lest we be betrayed.” One of the thieves started up and offered to do this, and after the rest had highly commended him for his bravery he disguised himself, and happened to enter the town at daybreak, just by Baba Mustapha’s stall. The thief bade him good-day, saying: “Honest man, how can you possibly see to stitch at your age?” “Old as I am,” replied the cobbler, “I have very good eyes, and will you believe me when I tell you that I sewed a dead body together in a place where I had less light than I have now.” The robber was overjoyed at his good fortune, and, giving him a piece of gold, desired to be shown the house where he stitched up the dead body. At first Mustapha refused, saying that he had been blindfolded; but when the robber gave him another piece of gold he began to think he might remember the turnings if blindfolded as before. This means succeeded; the robber partly led him, and was partly guided by him, right in front of Cassim’s house, the door of which the robber marked with a piece of chalk. Then, well pleased, he bade farewell to Baba Mustapha and returned to the forest. By and by Morgiana, going out, saw the mark the robber had made, quickly guessed that some mischief was brewing, and fetching a piece of chalk marked two or three doors on each side, without saying anything to her master or mistress.
The thief, meantime, told his comrades of his discovery. The Captain thanked him, and bade him show him the house he had marked. But when they came to it they saw that five or six of the houses were chalked in the same manner. The guide was so confounded that he knew not what answer to make, and when they returned he was at once beheaded for having failed. Another robber was dispatched, and, having won over Baba Mustapha, marked the house in red chalk; but Morgiana being again too clever for them, the second messenger was put to death also. The Captain now resolved to go himself, but, wiser than the others, he did not mark the house, but looked at it so closely that he could not fail to remember it. He returned, and ordered his men to go into the neighboring villages and buy nineteen mules, and thirty-eight leather jars, all empty except one, which was full of oil. The Captain put one of his men, fully armed, into each, rubbing the outside of the jars with oil from the full vessel. Then the nineteen mules were loaded with thirty-seven robbers in jars, and the jar of oil, and reached the town by dusk. The Captain stopped his mules in front of Ali Baba’s house, and said to Ali Baba, who was sitting outside for coolness: “I have brought some oil from a distance to sell at to-morrow’s market, but it is now so late that I know not where to pass the night, unless you will do me the favor to take me in.” Though Ali Baba had seen the Captain of the robbers in the forest, he did not recognize him in the disguise of an oil merchant. He bade him welcome, opened his gates for the mules to enter, and went to Morgiana to bid her prepare a bed and supper for his guest. He brought the stranger into his hall, and after they had supped went again to speak to Morgiana in the kitchen, while the Captain went into the yard under pretense of seeing after his mules, but really to tell his men what to do. Beginning at the first jar and ending at the last, he said to each man: “As soon as I throw some stones from the window of the chamber where I lie, cut the jars open with your knives and come out, and I will be with you in a trice.” He returned to the house, and Morgiana led him to his chamber. She then told Abdallah, her fellow-slave, to set on the pot to make some broth for her master, who had gone to bed. Meanwhile her lamp went out, and she had no more oil in the house. “Do not be uneasy,” said Abdallah; “go into the yard and take some out of one of those jars.” Morgiana thanked him for his advice, took the oil pot, and went into the yard. When she came to the first jar the robber inside said softly: “Is it time?”
Any other slave but Morgiana, on finding a man in the jar instead of the oil she wanted, would have screamed and made a noise; but she, knowing the danger her master was in, bethought herself of a plan, and answered quietly: “Not yet, but presently.” She went to all the jars, giving the same answer, till she came to the jar of oil. She now saw that her master, thinking to entertain an oil merchant, had let thirty-eight robbers into his house. She filled her oil pot, went back to the kitchen, and, having lit her lamp, went again to the oil jar and filled a large kettle full of oil. When it boiled she went and poured enough oil into every jar to stifle and kill the robber inside. When this brave deed was done she went back to the kitchen, put out the fire and the lamp, and waited to see what would happen.
In a quarter of an hour the Captain of the robbers awoke, got up, and opened the window. As all seemed quiet, he threw down some little pebbles which hit the jars. He listened, and as none of his men seemed to stir he grew uneasy, and went down into the yard. On going to the first jar and saying, “Are you asleep?” he smelt the hot boiled oil, and knew at once that his plot to murder Ali Baba and his household had been discovered. He found all the gang was dead, and, missing the oil out of the last jar, became aware of the manner of their death. He then forced the lock of a door leading into a garden, and climbing over several walls made his escape. Morgiana heard and saw all this, and, rejoicing at her success, went to bed and fell asleep.
At daybreak Ali Baba arose, and, seeing the oil jars still there, asked why the merchant had not gone with his mules. Morgiana bade him look in the first jar and see if there was any oil. Seeing a man, he started back in terror. “Have no fear,” said Morgiana; “the man cannot harm you: he is dead.” Ali Baba, when he had recovered somewhat from his astonishment, asked what had become of the merchant. “Merchant!” said she, “he is no more a merchant than I am!” and she told him the whole story, assuring him that it was a plot of the robbers of the forest, of whom only three were left, and that the white and red chalk marks had something to do with it. Ali Baba at once gave Morgiana her freedom, saying that he owed her his life. They then buried the bodies in Ali Baba’s garden, while the mules were sold in the market by his slaves.
The Captain returned to his lonely cave, which seemed frightful to him without his lost companions, and firmly resolved to avenge them by killing Ali Baba. He dressed himself carefully, and went into the town, where he took lodgings in an inn. In the course of a great many journeys to the forest he carried away many rich stuffs and much fine linen, and set up a shop opposite that of Ali Baba’s son. He called himself Cogia Hassan, and as he was both civil and well dressed he soon made friends with Ali Baba’s son, and through him with Ali Baba, whom he was continually asking to sup with him. Ali Baba, wishing to return his kindness, invited him into his house and received him smiling, thanking him for his kindness to his son. When the merchant was about to take his leave Ali Baba stopped him, saying: “Where are you going, sir, in such haste? Will you not stay and sup with me?” The merchant refused, saying that he had a reason; and, on Ali Baba’s asking him what that was, he replied: “It is, sir, that I can eat no victuals that have any salt in them.” “If that is all,” said Ali Baba, “let me tell you that there shall be no salt in either the meat or the bread that we eat to-night.” He went to give this order to Morgiana, who was much surprised. “Who is this man,” she said, “who eats no salt with his meat?” “He is an honest man, Morgiana,” returned her master; “therefore do as I bid you.” But she could not withstand a desire to see this strange man, so she helped Abdallah to carry up the dishes, and saw in a moment that Cogia Hassan was the robber Captain, and carried a dagger under his garment. “I am not surprised,” she said to herself, “that this wicked man, who intends to kill my master, will eat no salt with him; but I will hinder his plans.”
She sent up the supper by Abdallah, while she made ready for one of the boldest acts that could be thought on. When the dessert had been served, Cogia Hassan was left alone with Ali Baba and his son, whom he thought to make drunk and then to murder them. Morgiana, meanwhile, put on a head-dress like a dancing-girl’s, and clasped a girdle round her waist, from which hung a dagger with a silver hilt, and said to Abdallah: “Take your tabor, and let us go and divert our master and his guest.” Abdallah took his tabor and played before Morgiana until they came to the door, where Abdallah stopped playing and Morgiana made a low courtesy. “Come in, Morgiana,” said Ali Baba, “and let Cogia Hassan see what you can do”; and, turning to Cogia Hassan, he said: “She’s my slave and my housekeeper.” Cogia Hassan was by no means pleased, for he feared that his chance of killing Ali Baba was gone for the present; but he pretended great eagerness to see Morgiana, and Abdallah began to play and Morgiana to dance. After she had performed several dances she drew her dagger and made passes with it, sometimes pointing it at her own breast, sometimes at her master’s, as if it were part of the dance. Suddenly, out of breath, she snatched the tabor from Abdallah with her left hand, and, holding the dagger in her right hand, held out the tabor to her master. Ali Baba and his son put a piece of gold into it, and Cogia Hassan, seeing that she was coming to him, pulled out his purse to make her a present, but while he was putting his hand into it Morgiana plunged the dagger into his heart.
“Unhappy girl!” cried Ali Baba and his son, “what have you done to ruin us?”
“It was to preserve you, master, not to ruin you,” answered Morgiana. “See here,” opening the false merchant’s garment and showing the dagger; “see what an enemy you have entertained! Remember, he would eat no salt with you, and what more would you have? Look at him! he is both the false oil merchant and the Captain of the Forty Thieves.”
Ali Baba was so grateful to Morgiana for thus saving his life that he offered her to his son in marriage, who readily consented, and a few days after the wedding was celebrated with greatest splendor.
At the end of a year Ali Baba, hearing nothing of the two remaining robbers, judged they were dead, and set out to the cave. The door opened on his saying: “Open Sesame!” He went in, and saw that nobody had been there since the Captain left it. He brought away as much gold as he could carry, and returned to town. He told his son the secret of the cave, which his son handed down in his turn, so the children and grandchildren of Ali Baba were rich to the end of their lives.
ONCE there was a gentleman who married, for his second wife, the proudest and most haughty woman that was ever seen. She had been married before, and already had two daughters who were exactly like her in all things. He had likewise, by his first wife, a young daughter, but of unequalled goodness and sweetness of temper, which she took from her mother, who was the best creature in the world. This sweet little girl missed her mother, who had died, terribly much.
No sooner was the wedding ceremony over, than the new wife began to show herself in her true colors. She could not bear the goodness of the gentleman’s pretty girl, and especially as she made her own daughters appear the more horrid. She made her do the meanest jobs in the house: the girl scoured the dishes and tables, and scrubbed the stepmother’s bathroom, and those of her daughters; she slept in a little attic, upon a wretched straw bed, while her sisters lay upon beds with the softest pillows, in fine rooms, with floors covered with beautiful carpets, and walls on which hung looking-glasses so large that they might see themselves at their full length from head to foot.
The poor girl bore all patiently, and dared not tell her father, who would have been angry with her; for his new wife ruled him entirely. When the little girl had done her work, she used to go into the chimney-corner, and sit down among cinders and ashes, which led her to be called Cinderwench; but the youngest step-daughter, who was not quite so rude and unkind as the eldest, called her Cinderella. However, Cinderella, even though she was dressed in rags, was a hundred times prettier than her sisters, though they were always dressed very richly.
It happened that the King’s son gave a ball, and invited all finest gentlemen and ladies of the city. Our young misses were also invited, for they were always to be seen at fashionable parties. They were truly delighted at this invitation, and wonderfully busy in choosing such gowns, petticoats, and head-clothes as might suit them. This was a new trouble to Cinderella; for it was she who washed and ironed her sisters’ clothes and got all their things ready. Meanwhile, the sisters talked all day long of nothing but what they should wear to the ball.
“For my part,” said the eldest, “I will wear my red velvet suit with French trimming.”
“And I,” said the youngest, “shall have my usual petticoat; but then, to make amends for that, I will put on my gold-flowered gown, and my diamond belt, which is far from being the most ordinary one in the world.”
But in truth, they were still not absolutely sure what would be best to wear to the ball, so they sent for the best fashion designer they could find to advise on their evening dresses, and they had their nails maniqured at Mademoiselle de la Poche.
Cinderella was likewise called up to them for advice, for she had excellent judgement, and advised them always for the best, indeed, and offered her services to make up their hair, which they were very willing she should do. As she was doing this, they said to her:
“Cinderella, would you not be glad to go to the ball?”
“Alas!” said she, “you only jeer me; it is not for a poor girl like me to go there.”
“You’re quite right,” replied they; “it would make the people laugh to see a Cinderwench at a ball.”
Anyone but Cinderella would have dressed their heads all wrong, but she was very good, and dressed them perfectly well.
The step-sisters were almost two days without eating, so much were they thrilled and excited. They broke above a dozen corsettes in trying to be laced up tightly, so that they might have a fine slender shape, and they were continually at their looking-glass. At last the happy day came; they went to Court, and Cinderella followed them with her eyes as long as she could, and when she had lost sight of them, she fell a-crying.
Just then, her fairy-godmother, who used to watch-over her secretly, saw her all in tears, and appeared at her side and asked her what was the matter.
“I wish I could–I wish I could–”; she was not able to speak the rest, being interrupted by her tears and sobbing.
This fairy godmother of hers said to her, “You wish you could go to the ball; is it not so?”
“Y–es,” cried Cinderella, with a great sigh.
“Well,” said her godmother, “be but a good girl, and I will see that you shall go to the ball.” Then she took her into her secret room, and said to her, “Run into the garden, and bring me a pumpkin.”
Cinderella went immediately to gather the finest she could get, and brought it to her godmother, not being able to imagine how this pumpkin could make her go to the ball. Her godmother scooped out all the inside of the big vegitable, leaving nothing but the rind; which done, she struck it with her wand, and the pumpkin was instantly turned into a fine coach, gilded all over with gold.
She then went to look into her mouse-trap, where she found six mice, all alive, and ordered Cinderella to lift up a little the trapdoor. As each mouse went out, she gave it a little tap with her wand, and the mouse was that moment turned into a fine horse, which altogether made a very fine set of six horses of a beautiful mouse-colored dapple-gray. But they still needed a coachman,
“I will go and see,” says Cinderella, “if there is a rat in the rat-trap–we may make a coachman of him.”
“You’re a smart one,” replied her godmother; “go and look.”
Cinderella brought the trap to her, and in it there were three huge rats. The fairy made choice of one of the three which had the largest beard, and, having touched him with her wand, he was turned into a fat, jolly coach- man, who had the smartest whiskers eyes ever beheld. After that, she said to her:
“Go again into the garden, and you will find six lizards behind the watering-pot, bring them to me.”
She had no sooner done so but her godmother turned them into six footmen, who skipped up immediately behind the coach, with their uniforms all bedaubed with gold and silver, and clung as close behind each other as if they had done nothing else their whole lives. The Fairy then said to Cinderella:
“Well, you have here transport fit to take you to the ball; are you not pleased with it?”
“Oh! yes,” cried she; “but must I go there as I am, in these nasty rags?”
Her godmother only just touched her with her wand, and, at the same instant, her clothes were turned into cloth of gold and silver, all beset with jewels. This done, she gave her a pair of glass slippers, the prettiest in the whole world. Being thus decked out, she got up into her coach; but her godmother, above all things, commanded her not to stay till after midnight, telling her, at the same time, that if she stayed one moment longer, the coach would be a pumpkin again, her horses mice, her coachman a rat, her footmen lizards, and her clothes become just as they were before.
She promised her godmother she would not fail of leaving the ball before midnight; and then away she drives, scarce able to contain herself for joy. The King’s son who was told that a great princess, whom nobody knew, was come, ran out to receive her; he gave her his hand as she alighted out of the coach, and led her into the ball, among all the company. There was immediately a profound silence, they left off dancing, and the violins ceased to play, so attentive was everyone to contemplate the singular beauties of the unknown new-comer. Nothing was then heard but a confused noise of:
“Ha! how lovey she is! Ha! how lovely she is!”
The King himself, old as he was, could not help watching her, and telling the Queen softly that it was a long time since he had seen so beautiful and lovely a creature.
All the ladies were busied in considering her clothes and headdress, that they might have some made next day after the same pattern, provided they could meet with such fine material and as able hands to make them.
The King’s son led her to the most honorable seat, and afterward took her out to dance with him; she danced so very gracefully that they all more and more admired her. A fine banquet was served up, of which the young prince ate not a morsel, so intently was he busied in gazing on her.
She went and sat down by her sisters, showing them a thousand polite gestures, giving them part of the oranges and lemon blosoms which the Prince had presented her with, which very much surprised them, for they did not recognise her. While Cinderella was thus amusing her sisters, she heard the clock strike eleven and three-quarters, whereupon she immediately made a courtesy to the company and hasted away as fast as she could.
When she got home she ran to seek out her godmother, and, after having thanked her, she said she could not but heartily wish she might go next day to the ball, because the King’s son had desired her.
As she was eagerly telling her godmother whatever had passed at the ball, her two sisters knocked at the door, which Cinderella ran and opened.
“How long you have stayed!” cried she, gaping, rubbing her eyes and stretching herself as if she had been just waked out of her sleep; she had not, however, any manner of inclination to sleep since they went from home.
“If you had been at the ball,” said one of her sisters, “you would not have been tired with it. There came there the finest princess, the most beautiful ever was seen with mortal eyes; she was a thousand times nice to us, and gave us orange and lemon blossoms.”
Cinderella seemed very indifferent in the matter; indeed, she asked them the name of that princess; but they told her they did not know it, and that the King’s son was very uneasy on her account and would give all the world to know who she was. At this Cinderella, smiling, replied:
“She must, then, be very beautiful indeed; how happy you have been! Could not I see her? Ah! dear Miss Charlotte, do lend me your yellow suit of clothes which you wear every day.”
“Ay, to be sure!” cried Miss Charlotte; “lend my clothes to such a dirty Cinderwench as you! I should be a fool.”
Cinderella, indeed, expected well such answer, and was very glad of the refusal; for she would have been sadly put to it if her sister had lent her what she asked for jokingly.
The next day the two sisters were at the ball, and so was Cinderella, but dressed more magnificently than before. The King’s son was always by her, and never ceased his compliments and kind speeches to her; to whom all this was so far from being tiresome that she quite forgot what her godmother had recommended to her; so that she, at last, counted the clock striking twelve when she took it to be no more than eleven; she then rose up and fled, as nimble as a deer. The Prince followed, but could not overtake her. She left behind one of her glass slippers, which the Prince took up most carefully. She got home but quite out of breath, and in her nasty old clothes, having nothing left her of all her finery but one of the little slippers, fellow to that she dropped. The guards at the palace gate were asked: If they had not seen a princess go out. They replied that had seen nobody go out but a young girl, very meanly dressed, and who had more the air of a poor country wench than a gentlewoman.
When the two sisters returned from the ball Cinderella asked them: If they had been well diverted, and if the fine lady had been there.
They told her: Yes, but that she hurried away immediately when it struck twelve, and with so much haste that she dropped one of her little glass slippers, the prettiest in the world, which the King’s son had taken up; that he had done nothing but look at her all the time at the ball, and that most certainly he was very much in love with the beautiful person who owned the glass slipper.
What they said was very true; for a few days after the King’s son commanded it to be proclaimed, by sound of trumpet, that he would marry the young woman whose foot would perfectly fit the slipper. He sent out his most trusted advsiers from the palace, who began to try it upon the princesses, then the duchesses and all the Court, but in vain; it was brought to the two sisters, who each did all that she possibly could to thrust her foot into the slipper, but neither sister could manage to do so. Cinderella, who saw all this, and knew her slipper, said to them, laughing:
“Let me see if it will not fit me.”
Her sisters burst out a-laughing, and began to tease her. The gentleman who was sent to try the slipper looked earnestly at Cinderella, and, finding her very handsome, said: it was only right that that she should try, and that he had orders to let every girl try.
He asked Cinderella to sit down, and, putting the slipper to her foot, he found it went on very easily, and fitted her as if it had been made of wax. The astonishment her two sisters were in was excessively great, but still abundantly greater when Cinderella pulled out of her pocket the other slipper, and put it on her foot. Thereupon, in came her godmother, who, having touched with her wand Cinderella’s clothes, made them richer and more magnificent than any of those she had before.
And now her two sisters found her to be that fine, beautiful lady whom they had seen at the ball. They threw themselves at her feet to beg pardon for all the ill- treatment they had dished out to her. Cinderella took them up, and, as she embraced them, cried:
That she forgave them with all her heart, and desired them always to love her.
She was brought by carriage to the young prince, dressed as she was; he thought her more charming than ever, and, a few days after, married her. Cinderella, who was no less good than beautiful, gave her two sisters rooms in the palace, and that very same day matched them with two great lords of the Court.
A cat got to know a mouse, and spoke so much of the great love and friendship she felt for her, that at last the Mouse agreed to live in the same house with her, and to go shares in the housekeeping. ‘But we must store up food for the winter or else we shall be hungry,’ said the Cat. ‘And You, little Mouse, cannot venture everywhere in case you run into a trap.’ This good advice was followed, and a little pot of fat was bought. But they did not know where to put it. At length, after long discussion, the Cat said, ‘I know of no place where it could be better put than in the church. No one will trouble to take it away from there. We will hide it in a corner, and we won’t touch it till we really need it.’ So the little pot was placed in safety; but it was not long before the Cat had a great longing for it, and said to the Mouse, ‘I wanted to tell you, little Mouse, that my cousin has a little son, white with brown spots, and she wants me to be godmother to that little kitten. Let me go out to-day, and do you take care of the house alone.’
‘Yes, go certainly,’ replied the Mouse, ‘and when you eat anything good, think of me; I should very much like a drop of the red christening wine.’
But it was all untrue. The Cat had no cousin, and had not been asked to be godmother. She went straight to the church, slunk to the little pot of fat, began to lick it, and licked the top off. Then she took a walk on the roofs of the town, looked at the view, stretched herself out in the sun, and licked her lips whenever she thought of the little pot of fat. As soon as it was evening she went home again.
‘Ah, here you are again!’ said the Mouse; ‘you must certainly have had an enjoyable day.’
‘It went off very well,’ answered the Cat.
‘What was the child’s name?’ asked the Mouse.
‘Top Off,’ said the Cat drily.
‘Topoff!’ echoed the Mouse, ‘it is indeed a wonderful and curious name. Are there others called Topoff in your family?’
‘What is there odd about it?’ said the Cat. ‘It is not worse than Breadthief, as your godchild is called.’
Not long after this another great longing came over the Cat. She said to the Mouse, ‘You must again be kind enough to look after the house alone, for I have been asked a second time to stand godmother, and as this kitten has a white ring round its neck, I cannot refuse.’
The kind Mouse agreed, but the Cat slunk under the town wall to the church, and ate up half of the pot of fat. ‘Nothing tastes better,’ said she, ‘than what one eats by oneself,’ and she was very much pleased with her day’s work. When she came home the Mouse asked, ‘What was this child called?’
‘Half Gone,’ answered the Cat.
‘Halfgone! what a name! I have never heard it in my life. I don’t believe it is in any book!’
Soon the Cat’s mouth began to water once more after her licking business. ‘All good things in threes,’ she said to the Mouse; ‘I have again to stand godmother. The child is quite black, and has very white paws, but not a single white hair on its body. This only happens once in two years, so you will let me go out?’
‘Topoff! Halfgone!’ repeated the Mouse, ‘they are such curious names; they make me very thoughtful.’
‘Oh, you sit at home in your dark grey coat and your long tail,’ said the Cat, ‘and you get fanciful. That comes of not going out in the day.’
The Mouse had a good cleaning out while the Cat was gone, and made the house tidy; but the greedy Cat ate the fat every bit up.
‘
When it is all gone one can be at rest,’ she said to herself, and at night she came home sleek and satisfied. The Mouse asked at once after the third child’s name.
‘It won’t please you any better,’ said the Cat, ‘he was called Clean Gone.’
‘Cleangone!’ repeated the Mouse. ‘I do not believe that name has been printed any more than the others. Cleangone! What can it mean?’ She shook her head, curled herself up, and went to sleep.
From this time on no one asked the Cat to stand godmother; but when the winter came and there was nothing to be got outside, the Mouse remembered their provision and said, ‘Come, Cat, we will go to our pot of fat which we have stored away; it will taste very good.’
‘Yes, indeed,’ answered the Cat; ‘ it will taste as good to you as if you stretched your thin tongue out of the window.’
They started off, and when they reached it they found the pot in its place, but quite empty!
‘Ah,’ said the Mouse,’ ‘now I know what has happened! It has all come out! You are a true friend to me! You have eaten it all when you stood godmother; first the top off, then half of it gone, then—-’
‘Will you be quiet!’ screamed the Cat. ‘Another word and I will eat you up.’
‘Cleangone’ was already on the poor Mouse’s tongue, and scarcely was it out than the Cat made a spring at her, seized and swallowed her.
You see that is the way of the world.
Hello Everybody, My Name’s natasha, and his Royal Highness Prince Bertie the Frog has commanded me to tell you the storynory of the Tin Solider, by Hans Christian Andersen [version by Andrew Lang]
But first, I’ll share a little gossip I picked up about Bertie. Once, when Bertie was still a prince, before he was turned into a frog, he tried to play with the soldiers who stood guard outside palace, but the Sergeant Major shouted him really loudly, and made his clean his boots and tidy his room, and after that Bertie decided to stick playing with toy soldiers. That’s a secret by the way, so don’t’ tell anyone. Now, Bertie’s asking me to get on with the story, so I had better begin the Storyory of the Steadfast Tin Soldier.
There were once upon a time five-and twenty tin-soldiers–all brothers, as they were made out of the same old tin spoon. Their uniform was red and blue, and they shouldered their guns and looked straight in front of them. The first words that they heard in this world, when the lid of the box in which they lay was taken off, were: ‘Hurrah, tin-soldiers!’ This was exclaimed by a little boy, clapping his hands; they had been given to him because it was his birthday, and now he began setting them out on the table. Each soldier was exactly like the other in shape, except just one, who had been made last when the tin had run short; but there he stood as firmly on his one leg as the others did on two, and he is the one that became famous.
There were many other playthings on the table on which they were being set out, but the nicest of all was a pretty little castle made of cardboard, with windows through which you could see into the rooms. In front of the castle stood some little trees surrounding a tiny mirror which looked like a lake. Wax swans were floating about and reflecting themselves in it. That was all very pretty; but the most beautiful thing was a little lady, who stood in the open doorway. She was cut out of paper, but she had on a dress of the finest muslin, with a scarf of narrow blue ribbon round her shoulders, fastened in the middle with a glittering rose made of gold paper, which was as large as her head. The little lady was stretching out both her arms, for she was a Dancer, and was lifting up one leg so high in the air that the Tin-soldier couldn’t find it anywhere, and thought that she, too, had only one leg.
‘That’s the wife for me!’ he thought; ‘but she is so grand, and lives in a castle, whilst I have only a box with four-and-twenty others. This is no place for her! But I must make her acquaintance.’ Then he stretched himself out behind a snuff-box that lay on the table; from thence he could watch the dainty little lady, who continued to stand on one leg without losing her balance.
When the night came all the other tin-soldiers went into their box, and the people of the house went to bed. Then the toys began to play at visiting, dancing, and fighting. The tin-soldiers rattled in their box, for they wanted to be out too, but they could not raise the lid. The nut-crackers played at leap-frog, and the chalk ran about the blackboard; there was such a noise that the canary woke up and began to talk to them, in poetry too! The only two who did not stir from their places were the Tin-soldier and the little Dancer. She remained on tip-toe, with both arms outstretched; he stood steadfastly on his one leg, never moving his eyes from her face.
The clock struck twelve, and crack! off flew the lid of the spice- box; but there were no spices inside, nor any hot curry powder, only a little imp–that was the beauty of it. Now an imp is a magical creature, a little like a fairy, only more naughty.
‘Hullo, Tin-soldier!’ said the imp. ‘Don’t look at things that aren’t intended for the likes of you!’ She meant that he shouldn’t look at the little dander.
But the Tin-soldier took no notice, and seemed not to hear.
‘Very well, wait till to-morrow!’ said the imp.
When it was morning, and the children had got up, the Tin-soldier was put in the window; and whether it was the wind or the little imp, I don’t know, but all at once the window flew open and out fell the little Tin-soldier, head over heels, from the third- storey window! That was a terrible fall, I can tell you! He landed on his head with his leg in the air, his gun being wedged between two paving-stones.
The nursery-maid and the little boy came down at once to look for him, but, though they were so near him that they almost trod on him, they did not notice him. If the Tin-soldier had only called out ‘Here I am!’ they must have found him; but he did not think it fitting for him to cry out, because he had on his uniform.
Soon it began to drizzle; then the drops came faster, and there was a regular down-pour. When it was over, two little street boys came along.
‘Just look!’ cried one. ‘Here is a Tin-soldier! He shall sail up and down in a boat!’
So they made a little boat out of newspaper, put the Tin-soldier in it, and made him sail up and down the gutter; both the boys ran along beside him, clapping their hands. What great waves there were in the gutter, and what a swift current! The paper-boat tossed up and down, and in the middle of the stream it went so quick that the Tin-soldier trembled; but he remained steadfast, showed no emotion, looked straight in front of him, shouldering his gun. All at once the boat passed under a long tunnel that was as dark as his box had been.
‘Where can I be coming now?’ he wondered. ‘Oh, dear! This is the imp’s fault! Ah, if only the little lady were sitting beside me in the boat, it might be twice as dark for all I should care!’
Suddenly there came along a great water-rat that lived in the tunnel.
‘Have you a passport?’ asked the rat. ‘Out with your passport!’
But the Tin-soldier was silent, and grasped his gun more firmly.
The boat sped on, and the rat behind it. Ugh! how he showed his teeth, as he cried to the chips of wood and straw: ‘Hold him, hold him! he has not paid the toll! He has not shown his passport!’
But the current became swifter and stronger. The Tin-soldier could already see daylight where the tunnel ended; but in his ears there sounded a roaring enough to frighten any brave man. Only think! at the end of the tunnel the gutter discharged itself into a great canal; that would be just as dangerous for him as it would be for us to go down a waterfall.
Now he was so near to it that he could not hold on any longer. On went the boat, the poor Tin-soldier keeping himself as stiff as he could: no one should say of him afterwards that he had flinched. The boat whirled three, four times round, and became filled to the brim with water: it began to sink! The Tin-soldier was standing up to his neck in water, and deeper and deeper sank the boat, and softer and softer grew the paper; now the water was over his head. He was thinking of the pretty little Dancer, whose face he should never see again, and there sounded in his ears, over and over again:
‘Forward, forward, soldier bold! Death’s before thee, grim and cold!’
The paper came in two, and the soldier fell–but at that moment he was swallowed by a great fish.
Oh! how dark it was inside, even darker than in the tunnel, and it was really very close quarters! But there the steadfast little Tin-soldier lay full length, shouldering his gun.
Up and down swam the fish, then he made the most dreadful contortions, and became suddenly quite still. Then it was as if a flash of lightning had passed through him; the daylight streamed in, and a voice exclaimed, ‘Why, here is the little Tin-soldier!’ The fish had been caught, taken to market, sold, and brought into the kitchen, where the cook had cut it open with a great knife. She took up the soldier between her finger and thumb, and carried him into the room, where everyone wanted to see the hero who had been found inside a fish; but the Tin-soldier was not at all proud. They put him on the table, and–no, but what strange things do happen in this world!–the Tin-soldier was in the same room in which he had been before! He saw the same children, and the same toys on the table; and there was the same grand castle with the pretty little Dancer. She was still standing on one leg with the other high in the air; she too was steadfast. That touched the Tin-soldier, he was nearly going to shed tin-tears; but that would not have been fitting for a soldier. He looked at her, but she said nothing.
All at once one of the little boys took up the Tin-soldier, and threw him into the stove, giving no reasons; but doubtless the imp in the spice-box was at the bottom of this too.
There the Tin-soldier lay, and felt a heat that was truly terrible; but whether he was suffering from actual fire, or from the ardour of his passion, he did not know. All his colour had disappeared; whether this had happened on his travels or whether it was the result of trouble, who can say? He looked at the little lady, she looked at him, and he felt that he was melting; but he remained steadfast, with his gun at his shoulder. Suddenly a door opened, the draught caught up the little Dancer, and off she flew like a fairy to the Tin-soldier in the stove, burst into flames–and that was the end of her! Then the Tin-soldier melted down into a little lump, and when next morning the maid was taking out the ashes, she found him in the shape of a heart. There was nothing left of the little Dancer but her gilt rose, burnt as black as a cinder.
And that’s the Storynory of The Steadfast Tin Soldier. I think the ending was rather sad, don’t you? He was such a brave little soldier. But not all stories have happy endings. Bertie says that when he was a prince, he always looked after all his toys, really carefully, and always put them away in their correct places. He would never lose a good little soldier like the one in the story.
ONCE upon a time there dwelt on the outskirts of a large forest a poor woodcutter with his wife and two children; the boy was called Hansel and the girl Grettel. He had always little enough to live on, and once, when times were bad, they had to get by with one piece of bread and butter each. One night, as he was tossing about in bed, full of cares and worry, he sighed and said to his wife: “What’s to become of us? how are we to feed our poor children, now that we have nothing more for ourselves?” “I’ll tell you what, husband,” answered the woman; “early to-morrow morning we’ll take the children out into the thickest part of the wood; there we shall light a fire for them and give them each a piece of bread; then we’ll go on to our work and leave them alone. They won’t be able to find their way home, and we shall be rid of them.” “No, wife,” said her husband, “that I won’t do; how could I find it in my heart to leave my children alone in the wood? The wild beasts would soon come and tear them to pieces.” “Oh! you fool,” said she, “then we must all four die of hunger, and you may just as well go and saw the boards for our coffins”; and they argued and argued, until he agreed that they must get rid of Hansel and Grettel. “But I can’t help feeling sorry for the poor children,” added the husband.
The children, too, had not been able to sleep for hunger, and had heard what their step-mother had said to their father. Grettel wept bitterly and spoke to Hansel: “Now it’s all up with us.” “No, no, Grettel,” said Hansel, “don’t fret yourself; I’ll be able to find a way to escape, no fear.” And when the old people had fallen asleep he got up, slipped on his little coat, opened the back door and stole out. The moon was shining clearly, and the white pebbles which lay in front of the house glittered like bits of silver. Hansel bent down and filled his pocket with as many of them as he could cram in. Then he went back and said to Grettel: “Be comforted, my dear little sister, and go to sleep: God will not desert us”; and he lay down in bed again.
At daybreak, even before the sun was up, the woman came and woke the two children: “Get up, you lie-abeds, we’re all going to the forest to fetch wood.” She gave them each a bit of bread and said: “There’s something for your luncheon, but don’t you eat it up before, for it’s all you’ll get.” Grettel took the bread under her apron, as Hansel had the stones in his pocket. Then they all set out together on the way to the forest. After they had walked for a little, Hansel stood still and looked back at the house, and this maneuver he repeated again and again. His father observed him, and said: “Hansel, what are you gazing at there, and why do you always remain behind? Take care, and don’t lose your footing.” “Oh! father,” said Hansel, “I am looking back at my white kitten, which is sitting on the roof, waving me a farewell.” The woman exclaimed: “What a donkey you are! that isn’t your kitten, that’s the morning sun shining on the chimney.” But Hansel had not looked back at his kitten, ‘Now I must also give them a treat,’ thought the merchant’s son. And so he bought rockets, crackers, and all the kinds of fireworks you can think of, put them in his trunk, and flew up with them into the air.
Whirr-r-r, how they fizzed and blazed!
All the Turks jumped so high that their slippers flew above their heads; such a splendid glitter they had never seen before.
Now they could quite well understand that it was the god of the Turks himself who was to marry the princess.
As soon as the young merchant came down again into the wood with his trunk he thought, ‘Now I will just go into the town to see how the show has taken.’
And it was quite natural that he should want to do this.
Oh! what stories the people had to tell!
Each one whom he asked had seen it differently, but they had all found it beautiful.
‘I saw the Turkish god himself,’ said one. ‘He had eyes like glittering stars, and a beard like foaming water.’
‘He flew away in a cloak of fire,’ said another. They were splendid things that he heard, and the next day was to be his wedding day.
Then he went back into the wood to sit in his trunk; but what had become of it? The trunk had been burnt. A spark of the fireworks had set it alight, and the trunk was in ashes. He could no longer fly, and could never reach his bride.
She stood the whole day long on the roof and waited; perhaps she is waiting there still.
But he wandered through the world and told stories; though they are not so merry as the one he told about the matches.
IN a town in Persia there dwelt two brothers, one named Cassim, the other Ali Baba. Cassim was married to a rich wife and lived in plenty, while Ali Baba had to maintain his wife and children by cutting wood in a neighboring forest and selling it in the town. One day, when Ali Baba was in the forest, he saw a troop of men on horseback, coming toward him in a cloud of dust. He was afraid they were robbers, and climbed into a tree for safety. When they came up to him and dismounted, he counted forty of them. They unbridled their horses and tied them to trees. The finest man among them, whom Ali Baba took to be their captain, went a little way among some bushes, and said: “Open, Sesame!”[1] so plainly that Ali Baba heard him. A door opened in the rocks, and having made the troop go in, he followed them, and the door shut again of itself. They stayed some time inside, and Ali Baba, fearing they might come out and catch him, was forced to sit patiently in the tree. At last the door opened again, and the Forty Thieves came out. As the Captain went in last he came out first, and made them all pass by him; he then closed the door, saying: “Shut, Sesame!” Every man bridled his horse and mounted, the Captain put himself at their head, and they returned as they came.
Then Ali Baba climbed down and went to the door concealed among the bushes, and said: “Open, Sesame!” and it flew open. Ali Baba, who expected a dull, dismal place, was greatly surprised to find it large and well lighted, hollowed by the hand of man in the form of a vault, which received the light from an opening in the ceiling. He saw rich bales of merchandise–silk, stuff-brocades, all piled together, and gold and silver in heaps, and money in leather purses. He went in and the door shut behind him. He did not look at the silver, but brought out as many bags of gold as he thought his asses, which were browsing outside, could carry, loaded them with the bags, and hid it all with fagots. Using the words: “Shut, Sesame!” he closed the door and went home.
Then he drove his asses into the yard, shut the gates, carried the money-bags to his wife, and emptied them out before her. He bade her keep the secret, and he would go and bury the gold. “Let me first measure it,” said his wife. “I will go borrow a measure of someone, while you dig the hole.” So she ran to the wife of Cassim and borrowed a measure. Knowing Ali Baba’s poverty, the sister was curious to find out what sort of grain his wife wished to measure, and artfully put some suet at the bottom of the measure. Ali Baba’s wife went home and set the measure on the heap of gold, and filled it and emptied it often, to her great content. She then carried it back to her sister, without noticing that a piece of gold was sticking to it, which Cassim’s wife perceived directly her back was turned. She grew very curious, and said to Cassim when he came home: “Cassim, your brother is richer than you. He does not count his money, he measures it.” He begged her to explain this riddle, which she did by showing him the piece of money and telling him where she found it. Then Cassim grew so envious that he could not sleep, and went to his brother in the morning before sunrise. “Ali Baba,” he said, showing him the gold piece, “you pretend to be poor and yet you measure gold.” By this Ali Baba perceived that through his wife’s folly Cassim and his wife knew their secret, so he confessed all and offered Cassim a share. “That I expect,” said Cassim; “but I must know where to find the treasure, otherwise I will discover all, and you will lose all.” Ali Baba, more out of kindness than fear, told him of the cave, and the very words to use. Cassim left Ali Baba, meaning to be beforehand with him and get the treasure for himself. He rose early next morning, and set out with ten mules loaded with great chests. He soon found the place, and the door in the rock. He said: “Open, Sesame!” and the door opened and shut behind him. He could have feasted his eyes all day on the treasures, but he now hastened to gather together as much of it as possible; but when he was ready to go he could not remember what to say for thinking of his great riches. Instead of “Sesame,” he said: “Open, Barley!” and the door remained fast. He named several different sorts of grain, all but the right one, and the door still stuck fast. He was so frightened at the danger he was in that he had as much forgotten the word as if he had never heard it.
About noon the robbers returned to their cave, and saw Cassim’s mules roving about with great chests on their backs. This gave them the alarm; they drew their sabres, and went to the door, which opened on their Captain’s saying: “Open, Sesame!” Cassim, who had heard the trampling of their horses’ feet, resolved to sell his life dearly, so when the door opened he leaped out and threw the Captain down. In vain, however, for the robbers with their sabres soon killed him. On entering the cave they saw all the bags laid ready, and could not imagine how anyone had got in without knowing their secret. They cut Cassim’s body into four quarters, and nailed them up inside the cave, in order to frighten anyone who should venture in, and went away in search of more treasure.
As night drew on Cassim’s wife grew very uneasy, and ran to her brother-in-law, and told him where her husband had gone. Ali Baba did his best to comfort her, and set out to the forest in search of Cassim. The first thing he saw on entering the cave was his dead brother. Full of horror, he put the body on one of his asses, and bags of gold on the other two, and, covering all with some fagots, returned home. He drove the two asses laden with gold into his own yard, and led the other to Cassim’s house. The door was opened by the slave Morgiana, whom he knew to be both brave and cunning. Unloading the ass, he said to her: “This is the body of your master, who has been murdered, but whom we must bury as though he had died in his bed. I will speak with you again, but now tell your mistress I am come.” The wife of Cassim, on learning the fate of her husband, broke out into cries and tears, but Ali Baba offered to take her to live with him and his wife if she would promise to keep his counsel and leave everything to Morgiana; whereupon she agreed, and dried her eyes.
Morgiana, meanwhile, sought an apothecary and asked him for some lozenges. “My poor master,” she said, “can neither eat nor speak, and no one knows what his distemper is.” She carried home the lozenges and returned next day weeping, and asked for an essence only given to those just about to die. Thus, in the evening, no one was surprised to hear the wretched shrieks and cries of Cassim’s wife and Morgiana, telling everyone that Cassim was dead. The day after Morgiana went to an old cobbler near the gates of the town who opened his stall early, put a piece of gold in his hand, and bade him follow her with his needle and thread. Having bound his eyes with a handkerchief, she took him to the room where the body lay, pulled off the bandage, and bade him sew the quarters together, after which she covered his eyes again and led him home. Then they buried Cassim, and Morgiana his slave followed him to the grave, weeping and tearing her hair, while Cassim’s wife stayed at home uttering lamentable cries. Next day she went to live with Ali Baba, who gave Cassim’s shop to his eldest son.
The Forty Thieves, on their return to the cave, were much astonished to find Cassim’s body gone and some of their money-bags. “We are certainly discovered,” said the Captain, “and shall be undone if we cannot find out who it is that knows our secret. Two men must have known it; we have killed one, we must now find the other. To this end one of you who is bold and artful must go into the city dressed as a traveler, and discover whom we have killed, and whether men talk of the strange manner of his death. If the messenger fails he must lose his life, lest we be betrayed.” One of the thieves started up and offered to do this, and after the rest had highly commended him for his bravery he disguised himself, and happened to enter the town at daybreak, just by Baba Mustapha’s stall. The thief bade him good-day, saying: “Honest man, how can you possibly see to stitch at your age?” “Old as I am,” replied the cobbler, “I have very good eyes, and will you believe me when I tell you that I sewed a dead body together in a place where I had less light than I have now.” The robber was overjoyed at his good fortune, and, giving him a piece of gold, desired to be shown the house where he stitched up the dead body. At first Mustapha refused, saying that he had been blindfolded; but when the robber gave him another piece of gold he began to think he might remember the turnings if blindfolded as before. This means succeeded; the robber partly led him, and was partly guided by him, right in front of Cassim’s house, the door of which the robber marked with a piece of chalk. Then, well pleased, he bade farewell to Baba Mustapha and returned to the forest. By and by Morgiana, going out, saw the mark the robber had made, quickly guessed that some mischief was brewing, and fetching a piece of chalk marked two or three doors on each side, without saying anything to her master or mistress.
The thief, meantime, told his comrades of his discovery. The Captain thanked him, and bade him show him the house he had marked. But when they came to it they saw that five or six of the houses were chalked in the same manner. The guide was so confounded that he knew not what answer to make, and when they returned he was at once beheaded for having failed. Another robber was dispatched, and, having won over Baba Mustapha, marked the house in red chalk; but Morgiana being again too clever for them, the second messenger was put to death also. The Captain now resolved to go himself, but, wiser than the others, he did not mark the house, but looked at it so closely that he could not fail to remember it. He returned, and ordered his men to go into the neighboring villages and buy nineteen mules, and thirty-eight leather jars, all empty except one, which was full of oil. The Captain put one of his men, fully armed, into each, rubbing the outside of the jars with oil from the full vessel. Then the nineteen mules were loaded with thirty-seven robbers in jars, and the jar of oil, and reached the town by dusk. The Captain stopped his mules in front of Ali Baba’s house, and said to Ali Baba, who was sitting outside for coolness: “I have brought some oil from a distance to sell at to-morrow’s market, but it is now so late that I know not where to pass the night, unless you will do me the favor to take me in.” Though Ali Baba had seen the Captain of the robbers in the forest, he did not recognize him in the disguise of an oil merchant. He bade him welcome, opened his gates for the mules to enter, and went to Morgiana to bid her prepare a bed and supper for his guest. He brought the stranger into his hall, and after they had supped went again to speak to Morgiana in the kitchen, while the Capt
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Whirr-r-r, how they fizzed and blazed!
All the Turks jumped so high that their slippers flew above their heads; such a splendid glitter they had never seen before.
Now they could quite well understand that it was the god of the Turks himself who was to marry the princess.
As soon as the young merchant came down again into the wood with his trunk he thought, ‘Now I will just go into the town to see how the show has taken.’
And it was quite natural that he should want to do this.
Oh! what stories the people had to tell!
Each one whom he asked had seen it differently, but they had all found it beautiful.
‘I saw the Turkish god himself,’ said one. ‘He had eyes like glittering stars, and a beard like foaming water.’
‘He flew away in a cloak of fire,’ said another. They were splendid things that he heard, and the next day was to be his wedding day.
Then he went back into the wood to sit in his trunk; but what had become of it? The trunk had been burnt. A spark of the fireworks had set it alight, and the trunk was in ashes. He could no longer fly, and could never reach his bride.
She stood the whole day long on the roof and waited; perhaps she is waiting there still.
But he wandered through the world and told stories; though they are not so merry as the one he told about the matches.
IN a town in Persia there dwelt two brothers, one named Cassim, the other Ali Baba. Cassim was married to a rich wife and lived in plenty, while Ali Baba had to maintain his wife and children by cutting wood in a neighboring forest and selling it in the town. One day, when Ali Baba was in the forest, he saw a troop of men on horseback, coming toward him in a cloud of dust. He was afraid they were robbers, and climbed into a tree for safety. When they came up to him and dismounted, he counted forty of them. They unbridled their horses and tied them to trees. The finest man among them, whom Ali Baba took to be their captain, went a little way among some bushes, and said: “Open, Sesame!”[1] so plainly that Ali Baba heard him. A door opened in the rocks, and having made the troop go in, he followed them, and the door shut again of itself. They stayed some time inside, and Ali Baba, fearing they might come out and catch him, was forced to sit patiently in the tree. At last the door opened again, and the Forty Thieves came out. As the Captain went in last he came out first, and made them all pass by him; he then closed the door, saying: “Shut, Sesame!” Every man bridled his horse and mounted, the Captain put himself at their head, and they returned as they came.
Then Ali Baba climbed down and went to the door concealed among the bushes, and said: “Open, Sesame!” and it flew open. Ali Baba, who expected a dull, dismal place, was greatly surprised to find it large and well lighted, hollowed by the hand of man in the form of a vault, which received the light from an opening in the ceiling. He saw rich bales of merchandise–silk, stuff-brocades, all piled together, and gold and silver in heaps, and money in leather purses. He went in and the door shut behind him. He did not look at the silver, but brought out as many bags of gold as he thought his asses, which were browsing outside, could carry, loaded them with the bags, and hid it all with fagots. Using the words: “Shut, Sesame!” he closed the door and went home.
Then he drove his asses into the yard, shut the gates, carried the money-bags to his wife, and emptied them out before her. He bade her keep the secret, and he would go and bury the gold. “Let me first measure it,” said his wife. “I will go borrow a measure of someone, while you dig the hole.” So she ran to the wife of Cassim and borrowed a measure. Knowing Ali Baba’s poverty, the sister was curious to find out what sort of grain his wife wished to measure, and artfully put some suet at the bottom of the measure. Ali Baba’s wife went home and set the measure on the heap of gold, and filled it and emptied it often, to her great content. She then carried it back to her sister, without noticing that a piece of gold was sticking to it, which Cassim’s wife perceived directly her back was turned. She grew very curious, and said to Cassim when he came home: “Cassim, your brother is richer than you. He does not count his money, he measures it.” He begged her to explain this riddle, which she did by showing him the piece of money and telling him where she found it. Then Cassim grew so envious that he could not sleep, and went to his brother in the morning before sunrise. “Ali Baba,” he said, showing him the gold piece, “you pretend to be poor and yet you measure gold.” By this Ali Baba perceived that through his wife’s folly Cassim and his wife knew their secret, so he confessed all and offered Cassim a share. “That I expect,” said Cassim; “but I must know where to find the treasure, otherwise I will discover all, and you will lose all.” Ali Baba, more out of kindness than fear, told him of the cave, and the very words to use. Cassim left Ali Baba, meaning to be beforehand with him and get the treasure for himself. He rose early next morning, and set out with ten mules loaded with great chests. He soon found the place, and the door in the rock. He said: “Open, Sesame!” and the door opened and shut behind him. He could have feasted his eyes all day on the treasures, but he now hastened to gather together as much of it as possible; but when he was ready to go he could not remember what to say for thinking of his great riches. Instead of “Sesame,” he said: “Open, Barley!” and the door remained fast. He named several different sorts of grain, all but the right one, and the door still stuck fast. He was so frightened at the danger he was in that he had as much forgotten the word as if he had never heard it.
About noon the robbers returned to their cave, and saw Cassim’s mules roving about with great chests on their backs. This gave them the alarm; they drew their sabres, and went to the door, which opened on their Captain’s saying: “Open, Sesame!” Cassim, who had heard the trampling of their horses’ feet, resolved to sell his life dearly, so when the door opened he leaped out and threw the Captain down. In vain, however, for the robbers with their sabres soon killed him. On entering the cave they saw all the bags laid ready, and could not imagine how anyone had got in without knowing their secret. They cut Cassim’s body into four quarters, and nailed them up inside the cave, in order to frighten anyone who should venture in, and went away in search of more treasure.
As night drew on Cassim’s wife grew very uneasy, and ran to her brother-in-law, and told him where her husband had gone. Ali Baba did his best to comfort her, and set out to the forest in search of Cassim. The first thing he saw on entering the cave was his dead brother. Full of horror, he put the body on one of his asses, and bags of gold on the other two, and, covering all with some fagots, returned home. He drove the two asses laden with gold into his own yard, and led the other to Cassim’s house. The door was opened by the slave Morgiana, whom he knew to be both brave and cunning. Unloading the ass, he said to her: “This is the body of your master, who has been murdered, but whom we must bury as though he had died in his bed. I will speak with you again, but now tell your mistress I am come.” The wife of Cassim, on learning the fate of her husband, broke out into cries and tears, but Ali Baba offered to take her to live with him and his wife if she would promise to keep his counsel and leave everything to Morgiana; whereupon she agreed, and dried her eyes.
Morgiana, meanwhile, sought an apothecary and asked him for some lozenges. “My poor master,” she said, “can neither eat nor speak, and no one knows what his distemper is.” She carried home the lozenges and returned next day weeping, and asked for an essence only given to those just about to die. Thus, in the evening, no one was surprised to hear the wretched shrieks and cries of Cassim’s wife and Morgiana, telling everyone that Cassim was dead. The day after Morgiana went to an old cobbler near the gates of the town who opened his stall early, put a piece of gold in his hand, and bade him follow her with his needle and thread. Having bound his eyes with a handkerchief, she took him to the room where the body lay, pulled off the bandage, and bade him sew the quarters together, after which she covered his eyes again and led him home. Then they buried Cassim, and Morgiana his slave followed him to the grave, weeping and tearing her hair, while Cassim’s wife stayed at home uttering lamentable cries. Next day she went to live with Ali Baba, who gave Cassim’s shop to his eldest son.
The Forty Thieves, on their return to the cave, were much astonished to find Cassim’s body gone and some of their money-bags. “We are certainly discovered,” said the Captain, “and shall be undone if we cannot find out who it is that knows our secret. Two men must have known it; we have killed one, we must now find the other. To this end one of you who is bold and artful must go into the city dressed as a traveler, and discover whom we have killed, and whether men talk of the strange manner of his death. If the messenger fails he must lose his life, lest we be betrayed.” One of the thieves started up and offered to do this, and after the rest had highly commended him for his bravery he disguised himself, and happened to enter the town at daybreak, just by Baba Mustapha’s stall. The thief bade him good-day, saying: “Honest man, how can you possibly see to stitch at your age?” “Old as I am,” replied the cobbler, “I have very good eyes, and will you believe me when I tell you that I sewed a dead body together in a place where I had less light than I have now.” The robber was overjoyed at his good fortune, and, giving him a piece of gold, desired to be shown the house where he stitched up the dead body. At first Mustapha refused, saying that he had been blindfolded; but when the robber gave him another piece of gold he began to think he might remember the turnings if blindfolded as before. This means succeeded; the robber partly led him, and was partly guided by him, right in front of Cassim’s house, the door of which the robber marked with a piece of chalk. Then, well pleased, he bade farewell to Baba Mustapha and returned to the forest. By and by Morgiana, going out, saw the mark the robber had made, quickly guessed that some mischief was brewing, and fetching a piece of chalk marked two or three doors on each side, without saying anything to her master or mistress.
The thief, meantime, told his comrades of his discovery. The Captain thanked him, and bade him show him the house he had marked. But when they came to it they saw that five or six of the houses were chalked in the same manner. The guide was so confounded that he knew not what answer to make, and when they returned he was at once beheaded for having failed. Another robber was dispatched, and, having won over Baba Mustapha, marked the house in red chalk; but Morgiana being again too clever for them, the second messenger was put to death also. The Captain now resolved to go himself, but, wiser than the others, he did not mark the house, but looked at it so closely that he could not fail to remember it. He returned, and ordered his men to go into the neighboring villages and buy nineteen mules, and thirty-eight leather jars, all empty except one, which was full of oil. The Captain put one of his men, fully armed, into each, rubbing the outside of the jars with oil from the full vessel. Then the nineteen mules were loaded with thirty-seven robbers in jars, and the jar of oil, and reached the town by dusk. The Captain stopped his mules in front of Ali Baba’s house, and said to Ali Baba, who was sitting outside for coolness: “I have brought some oil from a distance to sell at to-morrow’s market, but it is now so late that I know not where to pass the night, unless you will do me the favor to take me in.” Though Ali Baba had seen the Captain of the robbers in the forest, he did not recognize him in the disguise of an oil merchant. He bade him welcome, opened his gates for the mules to enter, and went to Morgiana to bid her prepare a bed and supper for his guest. He brought the stranger into his hall, and after they had supped went again to speak to Morgiana in the kitchen, while the Captain went into the yard under pretense of seeing after his mules, but really to tell his men what to do. Beginning at the first jar and ending at the last, he said to each man: “As soon as I throw some stones from the window of the chamber where I lie, cut the jars open with your knives and come out, and I will be with you in a trice.” He returned to the house, and Morgiana led him to his chamber. She then told Abdallah, her fellow-slave, to set on the pot to make some broth for her master, who had gone to bed. Meanwhile her lamp went out, and she had no more oil in the house. “Do not be uneasy,” said Abdallah; “go into the yard and take some out of one of those jars.” Morgiana thanked him for his advice, took the oil pot, and went into the yard. When she came to the first jar the robber inside said softly: “Is it time?”
Any other slave but Morgiana, on finding a man in the jar instead of the oil she wanted, would have screamed and made a noise; but she, knowing the danger her master was in, bethought herself of a plan, and answered quietly: “Not yet, but presently.” She went to all the jars, giving the same answer, till she came to the jar of oil. She now saw that her master, thinking to entertain an oil merchant, had let thirty-eight robbers into his house. She filled her oil pot, went back to the kitchen, and, having lit her lamp, went again to the oil jar and filled a large kettle full of oil. When it boiled she went and poured enough oil into every jar to stifle and kill the robber inside. When this brave deed was done she went back to the kitchen, put out the fire and the lamp, and waited to see what would happen.
In a quarter of an hour the Captain of the robbers awoke, got up, and opened the window. As all seemed quiet, he threw down some little pebbles which hit the jars. He listened, and as none of his men seemed to stir he grew uneasy, and went down into the yard. On going to the first jar and saying, “Are you asleep?” he smelt the hot boiled oil, and knew at once that his plot to murder Ali Baba and his household had been discovered. He found all the gang was dead, and, missing the oil out of the last jar, became aware of the manner of their death. He then forced the lock of a door leading into a garden, and climbing over several walls made his escape. Morgiana heard and saw all this, and, rejoicing at her success, went to bed and fell asleep.
At daybreak Ali Baba arose, and, seeing the oil jars still there, asked why the merchant had not gone with his mules. Morgiana bade him look in the first jar and see if there was any oil. Seeing a man, he started back in terror. “Have no fear,” said Morgiana; “the man cannot harm you: he is dead.” Ali Baba, when he had recovered somewhat from his astonishment, asked what had become of the merchant. “Merchant!” said she, “he is no more a merchant than I am!” and she told him the whole story, assuring him that it was a plot of the robbers of the forest, of whom only three were left, and that the white and red chalk marks had something to do with it. Ali Baba at once gave Morgiana her freedom, saying that he owed her his life. They then buried the bodies in Ali Baba’s garden, while the mules were sold in the market by his slaves.
The Captain returned to his lonely cave, which seemed frightful to him without his lost companions, and firmly resolved to avenge them by killing Ali Baba. He dressed himself carefully, and went into the town, where he took lodgings in an inn. In the course of a great many journeys to the forest he carried away many rich stuffs and much fine linen, and set up a shop opposite that of Ali Baba’s son. He called himself Cogia Hassan, and as he was both civil and well dressed he soon made friends with Ali Baba’s son, and through him with Ali Baba, whom he was continually asking to sup with him. Ali Baba, wishing to return his kindness, invited him into his house and received him smiling, thanking him for his kindness to his son. When the merchant was about to take his leave Ali Baba stopped him, saying: “Where are you going, sir, in such haste? Will you not stay and sup with me?” The merchant refused, saying that he had a reason; and, on Ali Baba’s asking him what that was, he replied: “It is, sir, that I can eat no victuals that have any salt in them.” “If that is all,” said Ali Baba, “let me tell you that there shall be no salt in either the meat or the bread that we eat to-night.” He went to give this order to Morgiana, who was much surprised. “Who is this man,” she said, “who eats no salt with his meat?” “He is an honest man, Morgiana,” returned her master; “therefore do as I bid you.” But she could not withstand a desire to see this strange man, so she helped Abdallah to carry up the dishes, and saw in a moment that Cogia Hassan was the robber Captain, and carried a dagger under his garment. “I am not surprised,” she said to herself, “that this wicked man, who intends to kill my master, will eat no salt with him; but I will hinder his plans.”
She sent up the supper by Abdallah, while she made ready for one of the boldest acts that could be thought on. When the dessert had been served, Cogia Hassan was left alone with Ali Baba and his son, whom he thought to make drunk and then to murder them. Morgiana, meanwhile, put on a head-dress like a dancing-girl’s, and clasped a girdle round her waist, from which hung a dagger with a silver hilt, and said to Abdallah: “Take your tabor, and let us go and divert our master and his guest.” Abdallah took his tabor and played before Morgiana until they came to the door, where Abdallah stopped playing and Morgiana made a low courtesy. “Come in, Morgiana,” said Ali Baba, “and let Cogia Hassan see what you can do”; and, turning to Cogia Hassan, he said: “She’s my slave and my housekeeper.” Cogia Hassan was by no means pleased, for he feared that his chance of killing Ali Baba was gone for the present; but he pretended great eagerness to see Morgiana, and Abdallah began to play and Morgiana to dance. After she had performed several dances she drew her dagger and made passes with it, sometimes pointing it at her own breast, sometimes at her master’s, as if it were part of the dance. Suddenly, out of breath, she snatched the tabor from Abdallah with her left hand, and, holding the dagger in her right hand, held out the tabor to her master. Ali Baba and his son put a piece of gold into it, and Cogia Hassan, seeing that she was coming to him, pulled out his purse to make her a present, but while he was putting his hand into it Morgiana plunged the dagger into his heart.
“Unhappy girl!” cried Ali Baba and his son, “what have you done to ruin us?”
“It was to preserve you, master, not to ruin you,” answered Morgiana. “See here,” opening the false merchant’s garment and showing the dagger; “see what an enemy you have entertained! Remember, he would eat no salt with you, and what more would you have? Look at him! he is both the false oil merchant and the Captain of the Forty Thieves.”
Ali Baba was so grateful to Morgiana for thus saving his life that he offered her to his son in marriage, who readily consented, and a few days after the wedding was celebrated with greatest splendor.
At the end of a year Ali Baba, hearing nothing of the two remaining robbers, judged they were dead, and set out to the cave. The door opened on his saying: “Open Sesame!” He went in, and saw that nobody had been there since the Captain left it. He brought away as much gold as he could carry, and returned to town. He told his son the secret of the cave, which his son handed down in his turn, so the children and grandchildren of Ali Baba were rich to the end of their lives.
ONCE there was a gentleman who married, for his second wife, the proudest and most haughty woman that was ever seen. She had been married before, and already had two daughters who were exactly like her in all things. He had likewise, by his first wife, a young daughter, but of unequalled goodness and sweetness of temper, which she took from her mother, who was the best creature in the world. This sweet little girl missed her mother, who had died, terribly much.
No sooner was the wedding ceremony over, than the new wife began to show herself in her true colors. She could not bear the goodness of the gentleman’s pretty girl, and especially as she made her own daughters appear the more horrid. She made her do the meanest jobs in the house: the girl scoured the dishes and tables, and scrubbed the stepmother’s bathroom, and those of her daughters; she slept in a little attic, upon a wretched straw bed, while her sisters lay upon beds with the softest pillows, in fine rooms, with floors covered with beautiful carpets, and walls on which hung looking-glasses so large that they might see themselves at their full length from head to foot.
The poor girl bore all patiently, and dared not tell her father, who would have been angry with her; for his new wife ruled him entirely. When the little girl had done her work, she used to go into the chimney-corner, and sit down among cinders and ashes, which led her to be called Cinderwench; but the youngest step-daughter, who was not quite so rude and unkind as the eldest, called her Cinderella. However, Cinderella, even though she was dressed in rags, was a hundred times prettier than her sisters, though they were always dressed very richly.
It happened that the King’s son gave a ball, and invited all finest gentlemen and ladies of the city. Our young misses were also invited, for they were always to be seen at fashionable parties. They were truly delighted at this invitation, and wonderfully busy in choosing such gowns, petticoats, and head-clothes as might suit them. This was a new trouble to Cinderella; for it was she who washed and ironed her sisters’ clothes and got all their things ready. Meanwhile, the sisters talked all day long of nothing but what they should wear to the ball.
“For my part,” said the eldest, “I will wear my red velvet suit with French trimming.”
“And I,” said the youngest, “shall have my usual petticoat; but then, to make amends for that, I will put on my gold-flowered gown, and my diamond belt, which is far from being the most ordinary one in the world.”
But in truth, they were still not absolutely sure what would be best to wear to the ball, so they sent for the best fashion designer they could find to advise on their evening dresses, and they had their nails maniqured at Mademoiselle de la Poche.
Cinderella was likewise called up to them for advice, for she had excellent judgement, and advised them always for the best, indeed, and offered her services to make up their hair, which they were very willing she should do. As she was doing this, they said to her:
“Cinderella, would you not be glad to go to the ball?”
“Alas!” said she, “you only jeer me; it is not for a poor girl like me to go there.”
“You’re quite right,” replied they; “it would make the people laugh to see a Cinderwench at a ball.”
Anyone but Cinderella would have dressed their heads all wrong, but she was very good, and dressed them perfectly well.
The step-sisters were almost two days without eating, so much were they thrilled and excited. They broke above a dozen corsettes in trying to be laced up tightly, so that they might have a fine slender shape, and they were continually at their looking-glass. At last the happy day came; they went to Court, and Cinderella followed them with her eyes as long as she could, and when she had lost sight of them, she fell a-crying.
Just then, her fairy-godmother, who used to watch-over her secretly, saw her all in tears, and appeared at her side and asked her what was the matter.
“I wish I could–I wish I could–”; she was not able to speak the rest, being interrupted by her tears and sobbing.
This fairy godmother of hers said to her, “You wish you could go to the ball; is it not so?”
“Y–es,” cried Cinderella, with a great sigh.
“Well,” said her godmother, “be but a good girl, and I will see that you shall go to the ball.” Then she took her into her secret room, and said to her, “Run into the garden, and bring me a pumpkin.”
Cinderella went immediately to gather the finest she could get, and brought it to her godmother, not being able to imagine how this pumpkin could make her go to the ball. Her godmother scooped out all the inside of the big vegitable, leaving nothing but the rind; which done, she struck it with her wand, and the pumpkin was instantly turned into a fine coach, gilded all over with gold.
She then went to look into her mouse-trap, where she found six mice, all alive, and ordered Cinderella to lift up a little the trapdoor. As each mouse went out, she gave it a little tap with her wand, and the mouse was that moment turned into a fine horse, which altogether made a very fine set of six horses of a beautiful mouse-colored dapple-gray. But they still needed a coachman,
“I will go and see,” says Cinderella, “if there is a rat in the rat-trap–we may make a coachman of him.”
“You’re a smart one,” replied her godmother; “go and look.”
Cinderella brought the trap to her, and in it there were three huge rats. The fairy made choice of one of the three which had the largest beard, and, having touched him with her wand, he was turned into a fat, jolly coach- man, who had the smartest whiskers eyes ever beheld. After that, she said to her:
“Go again into the garden, and you will find six lizards behind the watering-pot, bring them to me.”
She had no sooner done so but her godmother turned them into six footmen, who skipped up immediately behind the coach, with their uniforms all bedaubed with gold and silver, and clung as close behind each other as if they had done nothing else their whole lives. The Fairy then said to Cinderella:
“Well, you have here transport fit to take you to the ball; are you not pleased with it?”
“Oh! yes,” cried she; “but must I go there as I am, in these nasty rags?”
Her godmother only just touched her with her wand, and, at the same instant, her clothes were turned into cloth of gold and silver, all beset with jewels. This done, she gave her a pair of glass slippers, the prettiest in the whole world. Being thus decked out, she got up into her coach; but her godmother, above all things, commanded her not to stay till after midnight, telling her, at the same time, that if she stayed one moment longer, the coach would be a pumpkin again, her horses mice, her coachman a rat, her footmen lizards, and her clothes become just as they were before.
She promised her godmother she would not fail of leaving the ball before midnight; and then away she drives, scarce able to contain herself for joy. The King’s son who was told that a great princess, whom nobody knew, was come, ran out to receive her; he gave her his hand as she alighted out of the coach, and led her into the ball, among all the company. There was immediately a profound silence, they left off dancing, and the violins ceased to play, so attentive was everyone to contemplate the singular beauties of the unknown new-comer. Nothing was then heard but a confused noise of:
“Ha! how lovey she is! Ha! how lovely she is!”
The King himself, old as he was, could not help watching her, and telling the Queen softly that it was a long time since he had seen so beautiful and lovely a creature.
All the ladies were busied in considering her clothes and headdress, that they might have some made next day after the same pattern, provided they could meet with such fine material and as able hands to make them.
The King’s son led her to the most honorable seat, and afterward took her out to dance with him; she danced so very gracefully that they all more and more admired her. A fine banquet was served up, of which the young prince ate not a morsel, so intently was he busied in gazing on her.
She went and sat down by her sisters, showing them a thousand polite gestures, giving them part of the oranges and lemon blosoms which the Prince had presented her with, which very much surprised them, for they did not recognise her. While Cinderella was thus amusing her sisters, she heard the clock strike eleven and three-quarters, whereupon she immediately made a courtesy to the company and hasted away as fast as she could.
When she got home she ran to seek out her godmother, and, after having thanked her, she said she could not but heartily wish she might go next day to the ball, because the King’s son had desired her.
As she was eagerly telling her godmother whatever had passed at the ball, her two sisters knocked at the door, which Cinderella ran and opened.
“How long you have stayed!” cried she, gaping, rubbing her eyes and stretching herself as if she had been just waked out of her sleep; she had not, however, any manner of inclination to sleep since they went from home.
“If you had been at the ball,” said one of her sisters, “you would not have been tired with it. There came there the finest princess, the most beautiful ever was seen with mortal eyes; she was a thousand times nice to us, and gave us orange and lemon blossoms.”
Cinderella seemed very indifferent in the matter; indeed, she asked them the name of that princess; but they told her they did not know it, and that the King’s son was very uneasy on her account and would give all the world to know who she was. At this Cinderella, smiling, replied:
“She must, then, be very beautiful indeed; how happy you have been! Could not I see her? Ah! dear Miss Charlotte, do lend me your yellow suit of clothes which you wear every day.”
“Ay, to be sure!” cried Miss Charlotte; “lend my clothes to such a dirty Cinderwench as you! I should be a fool.”
Cinderella, indeed, expected well such answer, and was very glad of the refusal; for she would have been sadly put to it if her sister had lent her what she asked for jokingly.
The next day the two sisters were at the ball, and so was Cinderella, but dressed more magnificently than before. The King’s son was always by her, and never ceased his compliments and kind speeches to her; to whom all this was so far from being tiresome that she quite forgot what her godmother had recommended to her; so that she, at last, counted the clock striking twelve when she took it to be no more than eleven; she then rose up and fled, as nimble as a deer. The Prince followed, but could not overtake her. She left behind one of her glass slippers, which the Prince took up most carefully. She got home but quite out of breath, and in her nasty old clothes, having nothing left her of all her finery but one of the little slippers, fellow to that she dropped. The guards at the palace gate were asked: If they had not seen a princess go out. They replied that had seen nobody go out but a young girl, very meanly dressed, and who had more the air of a poor country wench than a gentlewoman.
When the two sisters returned from the ball Cinderella asked them: If they had been well diverted, and if the fine lady had been there.
They told her: Yes, but that she hurried away immediately when it struck twelve, and with so much haste that she dropped one of her little glass slippers, the prettiest in the world, which the King’s son had taken up; that he had done nothing but look at her all the time at the ball, and that most certainly he was very much in love with the beautiful person who owned the glass slipper.
What they said was very true; for a few days after the King’s son commanded it to be proclaimed, by sound of trumpet, that he would marry the young woman whose foot would perfectly fit the slipper. He sent out his most trusted advsiers from the palace, who began to try it upon the princesses, then the duchesses and all the Court, but in vain; it was brought to the two sisters, who each did all that she possibly could to thrust her foot into the slipper, but neither sister could manage to do so. Cinderella, who saw all this, and knew her slipper, said to them, laughing:
“Let me see if it will not fit me.”
Her sisters burst out a-laughing, and began to tease her. The gentleman who was sent to try the slipper looked earnestly at Cinderella, and, finding her very handsome, said: it was only right that that she should try, and that he had orders to let every girl try.
He asked Cinderella to sit down, and, putting the slipper to her foot, he found it went on very easily, and fitted her as if it had been made of wax. The astonishment her two sisters were in was excessively great, but still abundantly greater when Cinderella pulled out of her pocket the other slipper, and put it on her foot. Thereupon, in came her godmother, who, having touched with her wand Cinderella’s clothes, made them richer and more magnificent than any of those she had before.
And now her two sisters found her to be that fine, beautiful lady whom they had seen at the ball. They threw themselves at her feet to beg pardon for all the ill- treatment they had dished out to her. Cinderella took them up, and, as she embraced them, cried:
That she forgave them with all her heart, and desired them always to love her.
She was brought by carriage to the young prince, dressed as she was; he thought her more charming than ever, and, a few days after, married her. Cinderella, who was no less good than beautiful, gave her two sisters rooms in the palace, and that very same day matched them with two great lords of the Court.
A cat got to know a mouse, and spoke so much of the great love and friendship she felt for her, that at last the Mouse agreed to live in the same house with her, and to go shares in the housekeeping. ‘But we must store up food for the winter or else we shall be hungry,’ said the Cat. ‘And You, little Mouse, cannot venture everywhere in case you run into a trap.’ This good advice was followed, and a little pot of fat was bought. But they did not know where to put it. At length, after long discussion, the Cat said, ‘I know of no place where it could be better put than in the church. No one will trouble to take it away from there. We will hide it in a corner, and we won’t touch it till we really need it.’ So the little pot was placed in safety; but it was not long before the Cat had a great longing for it, and said to the Mouse, ‘I wanted to tell you, little Mouse, that my cousin has a little son, white with brown spots, and she wants me to be godmother to that little kitten. Let me go out to-day, and do you take care of the house alone.’
‘Yes, go certainly,’ replied the Mouse, ‘and when you eat anything good, think of me; I should very much like a drop of the red christening wine.’
But it was all untrue. The Cat had no cousin, and had not been asked to be godmother. She went straight to the church, slunk to the little pot of fat, began to lick it, and licked the top off. Then she took a walk on the roofs of the town, looked at the view, stretched herself out in the sun, and licked her lips whenever she thought of the little pot of fat. As soon as it was evening she went home again.
‘Ah, here you are again!’ said the Mouse; ‘you must certainly have had an enjoyable day.’
‘It went off very well,’ answered the Cat.
‘What was the child’s name?’ asked the Mouse.
‘Top Off,’ said the Cat drily.
‘Topoff!’ echoed the Mouse, ‘it is indeed a wonderful and curious name. Are there others called Topoff in your family?’
‘What is there odd about it?’ said the Cat. ‘It is not worse than Breadthief, as your godchild is called.’
Not long after this another great longing came over the Cat. She said to the Mouse, ‘You must again be kind enough to look after the house alone, for I have been asked a second time to stand godmother, and as this kitten has a white ring round its neck, I cannot refuse.’
The kind Mouse agreed, but the Cat slunk under the town wall to the church, and ate up half of the pot of fat. ‘Nothing tastes better,’ said she, ‘than what one eats by oneself,’ and she was very much pleased with her day’s work. When she came home the Mouse asked, ‘What was this child called?’
‘Half Gone,’ answered the Cat.
‘Halfgone! what a name! I have never heard it in my life. I don’t believe it is in any book!’
Soon the Cat’s mouth began to water once more after her licking business. ‘All good things in threes,’ she said to the Mouse; ‘I have again to stand godmother. The child is quite black, and has very white paws, but not a single white hair on its body. This only happens once in two years, so you will let me go out?’
‘Topoff! Halfgone!’ repeated the Mouse, ‘they are such curious names; they make me very thoughtful.’
‘Oh, you sit at home in your dark grey coat and your long tail,’ said the Cat, ‘and you get fanciful. That comes of not going out in the day.’
The Mouse had a good cleaning out while the Cat was gone, and made the house tidy; but the greedy Cat ate the fat every bit up.
‘
When it is all gone one can be at rest,’ she said to herself, and at night she came home sleek and satisfied. The Mouse asked at once after the third child’s name.
‘It won’t please you any better,’ said the Cat, ‘he was called Clean Gone.’
‘Cleangone!’ repeated the Mouse. ‘I do not believe that name has been printed any more than the others. Cleangone! What can it mean?’ She shook her head, curled herself up, and went to sleep.
From this time on no one asked the Cat to stand godmother; but when the winter came and there was nothing to be got outside, the Mouse remembered their provision and said, ‘Come, Cat, we will go to our pot of fat which we have stored away; it will taste very good.’
‘Yes, indeed,’ answered the Cat; ‘ it will taste as good to you as if you stretched your thin tongue out of the window.’
They started off, and when they reached it they found the pot in its place, but quite empty!
‘Ah,’ said the Mouse,’ ‘now I know what has happened! It has all come out! You are a true friend to me! You have eaten it all when you stood godmother; first the top off, then half of it gone, then—-’
‘Will you be quiet!’ screamed the Cat. ‘Another word and I will eat you up.’
‘Cleangone’ was already on the poor Mouse’s tongue, and scarcely was it out than the Cat made a spring at her, seized and swallowed her.
You see that is the way of the world.
Hello Everybody, My Name’s natasha, and his Royal Highness Prince Bertie the Frog has commanded me to tell you the storynory of the Tin Solider, by Hans Christian Andersen [version by Andrew Lang]
But first, I’ll share a little gossip I picked up about Bertie. Once, when Bertie was still a prince, before he was turned into a frog, he tried to play with the soldiers who stood guard outside palace, but the Sergeant Major shouted him really loudly, and made his clean his boots and tidy his room, and after that Bertie decided to stick playing with toy soldiers. That’s a secret by the way, so don’t’ tell anyone. Now, Bertie’s asking me to get on with the story, so I had better begin the Storyory of the Steadfast Tin Soldier.
There were once upon a time five-and twenty tin-soldiers–all brothers, as they were made out of the same old tin spoon. Their uniform was red and blue, and they shouldered their guns and looked straight in front of them. The first words that they heard in this world, when the lid of the box in which they lay was taken off, were: ‘Hurrah, tin-soldiers!’ This was exclaimed by a little boy, clapping his hands; they had been given to him because it was his birthday, and now he began setting them out on the table. Each soldier was exactly like the other in shape, except just one, who had been made last when the tin had run short; but there he stood as firmly on his one leg as the others did on two, and he is the one that became famous.
There were many other playthings on the table on which they were being set out, but the nicest of all was a pretty little castle made of cardboard, with windows through which you could see into the rooms. In front of the castle stood some little trees surrounding a tiny mirror which looked like a lake. Wax swans were floating about and reflecting themselves in it. That was all very pretty; but the most beautiful thing was a little lady, who stood in the open doorway. She was cut out of paper, but she had on a dress of the finest muslin, with a scarf of narrow blue ribbon round her shoulders, fastened in the middle with a glittering rose made of gold paper, which was as large as her head. The little lady was stretching out both her arms, for she was a Dancer, and was lifting up one leg so high in the air that the Tin-soldier couldn’t find it anywhere, and thought that she, too, had only one leg.
‘That’s the wife for me!’ he thought; ‘but she is so grand, and lives in a castle, whilst I have only a box with four-and-twenty others. This is no place for her! But I must make her acquaintance.’ Then he stretched himself out behind a snuff-box that lay on the table; from thence he could watch the dainty little lady, who continued to stand on one leg without losing her balance.
When the night came all the other tin-soldiers went into their box, and the people of the house went to bed. Then the toys began to play at visiting, dancing, and fighting. The tin-soldiers rattled in their box, for they wanted to be out too, but they could not raise the lid. The nut-crackers played at leap-frog, and the chalk ran about the blackboard; there was such a noise that the canary woke up and began to talk to them, in poetry too! The only two who did not stir from their places were the Tin-soldier and the little Dancer. She remained on tip-toe, with both arms outstretched; he stood steadfastly on his one leg, never moving his eyes from her face.
The clock struck twelve, and crack! off flew the lid of the spice- box; but there were no spices inside, nor any hot curry powder, only a little imp–that was the beauty of it. Now an imp is a magical creature, a little like a fairy, only more naughty.
‘Hullo, Tin-soldier!’ said the imp. ‘Don’t look at things that aren’t intended for the likes of you!’ She meant that he shouldn’t look at the little dander.
But the Tin-soldier took no notice, and seemed not to hear.
‘Very well, wait till to-morrow!’ said the imp.
When it was morning, and the children had got up, the Tin-soldier was put in the window; and whether it was the wind or the little imp, I don’t know, but all at once the window flew open and out fell the little Tin-soldier, head over heels, from the third- storey window! That was a terrible fall, I can tell you! He landed on his head with his leg in the air, his gun being wedged between two paving-stones.
The nursery-maid and the little boy came down at once to look for him, but, though they were so near him that they almost trod on him, they did not notice him. If the Tin-soldier had only called out ‘Here I am!’ they must have found him; but he did not think it fitting for him to cry out, because he had on his uniform.
Soon it began to drizzle; then the drops came faster, and there was a regular down-pour. When it was over, two little street boys came along.
‘Just look!’ cried one. ‘Here is a Tin-soldier! He shall sail up and down in a boat!’
So they made a little boat out of newspaper, put the Tin-soldier in it, and made him sail up and down the gutter; both the boys ran along beside him, clapping their hands. What great waves there were in the gutter, and what a swift current! The paper-boat tossed up and down, and in the middle of the stream it went so quick that the Tin-soldier trembled; but he remained steadfast, showed no emotion, looked straight in front of him, shouldering his gun. All at once the boat passed under a long tunnel that was as dark as his box had been.
‘Where can I be coming now?’ he wondered. ‘Oh, dear! This is the imp’s fault! Ah, if only the little lady were sitting beside me in the boat, it might be twice as dark for all I should care!’
Suddenly there came along a great water-rat that lived in the tunnel.
‘Have you a passport?’ asked the rat. ‘Out with your passport!’
But the Tin-soldier was silent, and grasped his gun more firmly.
The boat sped on, and the rat behind it. Ugh! how he showed his teeth, as he cried to the chips of wood and straw: ‘Hold him, hold him! he has not paid the toll! He has not shown his passport!’
But the current became swifter and stronger. The Tin-soldier could already see daylight where the tunnel ended; but in his ears there sounded a roaring enough to frighten any brave man. Only think! at the end of the tunnel the gutter discharged itself into a great canal; that would be just as dangerous for him as it would be for us to go down a waterfall.
Now he was so near to it that he could not hold on any longer. On went the boat, the poor Tin-soldier keeping himself as stiff as he could: no one should say of him afterwards that he had flinched. The boat whirled three, four times round, and became filled to the brim with water: it began to sink! The Tin-soldier was standing up to his neck in water, and deeper and deeper sank the boat, and softer and softer grew the paper; now the water was over his head. He was thinking of the pretty little Dancer, whose face he should never see again, and there sounded in his ears, over and over again:
‘Forward, forward, soldier bold! Death’s before thee, grim and cold!’
The paper came in two, and the soldier fell–but at that moment he was swallowed by a great fish.
Oh! how dark it was inside, even darker than in the tunnel, and it was really very close quarters! But there the steadfast little Tin-soldier lay full length, shouldering his gun.
Up and down swam the fish, then he made the most dreadful contortions, and became suddenly quite still. Then it was as if a flash of lightning had passed through him; the daylight streamed in, and a voice exclaimed, ‘Why, here is the little Tin-soldier!’ The fish had been caught, taken to market, sold, and brought into the kitchen, where the cook had cut it open with a great knife. She took up the soldier between her finger and thumb, and carried him into the room, where everyone wanted to see the hero who had been found inside a fish; but the Tin-soldier was not at all proud. They put him on the table, and–no, but what strange things do happen in this world!–the Tin-soldier was in the same room in which he had been before! He saw the same children, and the same toys on the table; and there was the same grand castle with the pretty little Dancer. She was still standing on one leg with the other high in the air; she too was steadfast. That touched the Tin-soldier, he was nearly going to shed tin-tears; but that would not have been fitting for a soldier. He looked at her, but she said nothing.
All at once one of the little boys took up the Tin-soldier, and threw him into the stove, giving no reasons; but doubtless the imp in the spice-box was at the bottom of this too.
There the Tin-soldier lay, and felt a heat that was truly terrible; but whether he was suffering from actual fire, or from the ardour of his passion, he did not know. All his colour had disappeared; whether this had happened on his travels or whether it was the result of trouble, who can say? He looked at the little lady, she looked at him, and he felt that he was melting; but he remained steadfast, with his gun at his shoulder. Suddenly a door opened, the draught caught up the little Dancer, and off she flew like a fairy to the Tin-soldier in the stove, burst into flames–and that was the end of her! Then the Tin-soldier melted down into a little lump, and when next morning the maid was taking out the ashes, she found him in the shape of a heart. There was nothing left of the little Dancer but her gilt rose, burnt as black as a cinder.
And that’s the Storynory of The Steadfast Tin Soldier. I think the ending was rather sad, don’t you? He was such a brave little soldier. But not all stories have happy endings. Bertie says that when he was a prince, he always looked after all his toys, really carefully, and always put them away in their correct places. He would never lose a good little soldier like the one in the story.
ONCE upon a time there dwelt on the outskirts of a large forest a poor woodcutter with his wife and two children; the boy was called Hansel and the girl Grettel. He had always little enough to live on, and once, when times were bad, they had to get by with one piece of bread and butter each. One night, as he was tossing about in bed, full of cares and worry, he sighed and said to his wife: “What’s to become of us? how are we to feed our poor children, now that we have nothing more for ourselves?” “I’ll tell you what, husband,” answered the woman; “early to-morrow morning we’ll take the children out into the thickest part of the wood; there we shall light a fire for them and give them each a piece of bread; then we’ll go on to our work and leave them alone. They won’t be able to find their way home, and we shall be rid of them.” “No, wife,” said her husband, “that I won’t do; how could I find it in my heart to leave my children alone in the wood? The wild beasts would soon come and tear them to pieces.” “Oh! you fool,” said she, “then we must all four die of hunger, and you may just as well go and saw the boards for our coffins”; and they argued and argued, until he agreed that they must get rid of Hansel and Grettel. “But I can’t help feeling sorry for the poor children,” added the husband.
The children, too, had not been able to sleep for hunger, and had heard what their step-mother had said to their father. Grettel wept bitterly and spoke to Hansel: “Now it’s all up with us.” “No, no, Grettel,” said Hansel, “don’t fret yourself; I’ll be able to find a way to escape, no fear.” And when the old people had fallen asleep he got up, slipped on his little coat, opened the back door and stole out. The moon was shining clearly, and the white pebbles which lay in front of the house glittered like bits of silver. Hansel bent down and filled his pocket with as many of them as he could cram in. Then he went back and said to Grettel: “Be comforted, my dear little sister, and go to sleep: God will not desert us”; and he lay down in bed again.
At daybreak, even before the sun was up, the woman came and woke the two children: “Get up, you lie-abeds, we’re all going to the forest to fetch wood.” She gave them each a bit of bread and said: “There’s something for your luncheon, but don’t you eat it up before, for it’s all you’ll get.” Grettel took the bread under her apron, as Hansel had the stones in his pocket. Then they all set out together on the way to the forest. After they had walked for a little, Hansel stood still and looked back at the house, and this maneuver he repeated again and again. His father observed him, and said: “Hansel, what are you gazing at there, and why do you always remain behind? Take care, and don’t lose your footing.” “Oh! father,” said Hansel, “I am looking back at my white kitten, which is sitting on the roof, waving me a farewell.” The woman exclaimed: “What a donkey you are! that isn’t your kitten, that’s the morning sun shining on the chimney.” But Hansel had not looked back at his kitten, ‘Now I must also give them a treat,’ thought the merchant’s son. And so he bought rockets, crackers, and all the kinds of fireworks you can think of, put them in his trunk, and flew up with them into the air.
Whirr-r-r, how they fizzed and blazed!
All the Turks jumped so high that their slippers flew above their heads; such a splendid glitter they had never seen before.
Now they could quite well understand that it was the god of the Turks himself who was to marry the princess.
As soon as the young merchant came down again into the wood with his trunk he thought, ‘Now I will just go into the town to see how the show has taken.’
And it was quite natural that he should want to do this.
Oh! what stories the people had to tell!
Each one whom he asked had seen it differently, but they had all found it beautiful.
‘I saw the Turkish god himself,’ said one. ‘He had eyes like glittering stars, and a beard like foaming water.’
‘He flew away in a cloak of fire,’ said another. They were splendid things that he heard, and the next day was to be his wedding day.
Then he went back into the wood to sit in his trunk; but what had become of it? The trunk had been burnt. A spark of the fireworks had set it alight, and the trunk was in ashes. He could no longer fly, and could never reach his bride.
She stood the whole day long on the roof and waited; perhaps she is waiting there still.
But he wandered through the world and told stories; though they are not so merry as the one he told about the matches.
IN a town in Persia there dwelt two brothers, one named Cassim, the other Ali Baba. Cassim was married to a rich wife and lived in plenty, while Ali Baba had to maintain his wife and children by cutting wood in a neighboring forest and selling it in the town. One day, when Ali Baba was in the forest, he saw a troop of men on horseback, coming toward him in a cloud of dust. He was afraid they were robbers, and climbed into a tree for safety. When they came up to him and dismounted, he counted forty of them. They unbridled their horses and tied them to trees. The finest man among them, whom Ali Baba took to be their captain, went a little way among some bushes, and said: “Open, Sesame!”[1] so plainly that Ali Baba heard him. A door opened in the rocks, and having made the troop go in, he followed them, and the door shut again of itself. They stayed some time inside, and Ali Baba, fearing they might come out and catch him, was forced to sit patiently in the tree. At last the door opened again, and the Forty Thieves came out. As the Captain went in last he came out first, and made them all pass by him; he then closed the door, saying: “Shut, Sesame!” Every man bridled his horse and mounted, the Captain put himself at their head, and they returned as they came.
Then Ali Baba climbed down and went to the door concealed among the bushes, and said: “Open, Sesame!” and it flew open. Ali Baba, who expected a dull, dismal place, was greatly surprised to find it large and well lighted, hollowed by the hand of man in the form of a vault, which received the light from an opening in the ceiling. He saw rich bales of merchandise–silk, stuff-brocades, all piled together, and gold and silver in heaps, and money in leather purses. He went in and the door shut behind him. He did not look at the silver, but brought out as many bags of gold as he thought his asses, which were browsing outside, could carry, loaded them with the bags, and hid it all with fagots. Using the words: “Shut, Sesame!” he closed the door and went home.
Then he drove his asses into the yard, shut the gates, carried the money-bags to his wife, and emptied them out before her. He bade her keep the secret, and he would go and bury the gold. “Let me first measure it,” said his wife. “I will go borrow a measure of someone, while you dig the hole.” So she ran to the wife of Cassim and borrowed a measure. Knowing Ali Baba’s poverty, the sister was curious to find out what sort of grain his wife wished to measure, and artfully put some suet at the bottom of the measure. Ali Baba’s wife went home and set the measure on the heap of gold, and filled it and emptied it often, to her great content. She then carried it back to her sister, without noticing that a piece of gold was sticking to it, which Cassim’s wife perceived directly her back was turned. She grew very curious, and said to Cassim when he came home: “Cassim, your brother is richer than you. He does not count his money, he measures it.” He begged her to explain this riddle, which she did by showing him the piece of money and telling him where she found it. Then Cassim grew so envious that he could not sleep, and went to his brother in the morning before sunrise. “Ali Baba,” he said, showing him the gold piece, “you pretend to be poor and yet you measure gold.” By this Ali Baba perceived that through his wife’s folly Cassim and his wife knew their secret, so he confessed all and offered Cassim a share. “That I expect,” said Cassim; “but I must know where to find the treasure, otherwise I will discover all, and you will lose all.” Ali Baba, more out of kindness than fear, told him of the cave, and the very words to use. Cassim left Ali Baba, meaning to be beforehand with him and get the treasure for himself. He rose early next morning, and set out with ten mules loaded with great chests. He soon found the place, and the door in the rock. He said: “Open, Sesame!” and the door opened and shut behind him. He could have feasted his eyes all day on the treasures, but he now hastened to gather together as much of it as possible; but when he was ready to go he could not remember what to say for thinking of his great riches. Instead of “Sesame,” he said: “Open, Barley!” and the door remained fast. He named several different sorts of grain, all but the right one, and the door still stuck fast. He was so frightened at the danger he was in that he had as much forgotten the word as if he had never heard it.
About noon the robbers returned to their cave, and saw Cassim’s mules roving about with great chests on their backs. This gave them the alarm; they drew their sabres, and went to the door, which opened on their Captain’s saying: “Open, Sesame!” Cassim, who had heard the trampling of their horses’ feet, resolved to sell his life dearly, so when the door opened he leaped out and threw the Captain down. In vain, however, for the robbers with their sabres soon killed him. On entering the cave they saw all the bags laid ready, and could not imagine how anyone had got in without knowing their secret. They cut Cassim’s body into four quarters, and nailed them up inside the cave, in order to frighten anyone who should venture in, and went away in search of more treasure.
As night drew on Cassim’s wife grew very uneasy, and ran to her brother-in-law, and told him where her husband had gone. Ali Baba did his best to comfort her, and set out to the forest in search of Cassim. The first thing he saw on entering the cave was his dead brother. Full of horror, he put the body on one of his asses, and bags of gold on the other two, and, covering all with some fagots, returned home. He drove the two asses laden with gold into his own yard, and led the other to Cassim’s house. The door was opened by the slave Morgiana, whom he knew to be both brave and cunning. Unloading the ass, he said to her: “This is the body of your master, who has been murdered, but whom we must bury as though he had died in his bed. I will speak with you again, but now tell your mistress I am come.” The wife of Cassim, on learning the fate of her husband, broke out into cries and tears, but Ali Baba offered to take her to live with him and his wife if she would promise to keep his counsel and leave everything to Morgiana; whereupon she agreed, and dried her eyes.
Morgiana, meanwhile, sought an apothecary and asked him for some lozenges. “My poor master,” she said, “can neither eat nor speak, and no one knows what his distemper is.” She carried home the lozenges and returned next day weeping, and asked for an essence only given to those just about to die. Thus, in the evening, no one was surprised to hear the wretched shrieks and cries of Cassim’s wife and Morgiana, telling everyone that Cassim was dead. The day after Morgiana went to an old cobbler near the gates of the town who opened his stall early, put a piece of gold in his hand, and bade him follow her with his needle and thread. Having bound his eyes with a handkerchief, she took him to the room where the body lay, pulled off the bandage, and bade him sew the quarters together, after which she covered his eyes again and led him home. Then they buried Cassim, and Morgiana his slave followed him to the grave, weeping and tearing her hair, while Cassim’s wife stayed at home uttering lamentable cries. Next day she went to live with Ali Baba, who gave Cassim’s shop to his eldest son.
The Forty Thieves, on their return to the cave, were much astonished to find Cassim’s body gone and some of their money-bags. “We are certainly discovered,” said the Captain, “and shall be undone if we cannot find out who it is that knows our secret. Two men must have known it; we have killed one, we must now find the other. To this end one of you who is bold and artful must go into the city dressed as a traveler, and discover whom we have killed, and whether men talk of the strange manner of his death. If the messenger fails he must lose his life, lest we be betrayed.” One of the thieves started up and offered to do this, and after the rest had highly commended him for his bravery he disguised himself, and happened to enter the town at daybreak, just by Baba Mustapha’s stall. The thief bade him good-day, saying: “Honest man, how can you possibly see to stitch at your age?” “Old as I am,” replied the cobbler, “I have very good eyes, and will you believe me when I tell you that I sewed a dead body together in a place where I had less light than I have now.” The robber was overjoyed at his good fortune, and, giving him a piece of gold, desired to be shown the house where he stitched up the dead body. At first Mustapha refused, saying that he had been blindfolded; but when the robber gave him another piece of gold he began to think he might remember the turnings if blindfolded as before. This means succeeded; the robber partly led him, and was partly guided by him, right in front of Cassim’s house, the door of which the robber marked with a piece of chalk. Then, well pleased, he bade farewell to Baba Mustapha and returned to the forest. By and by Morgiana, going out, saw the mark the robber had made, quickly guessed that some mischief was brewing, and fetching a piece of chalk marked two or three doors on each side, without saying anything to her master or mistress.
The thief, meantime, told his comrades of his discovery. The Captain thanked him, and bade him show him the house he had marked. But when they came to it they saw that five or six of the houses were chalked in the same manner. The guide was so confounded that he knew not what answer to make, and when they returned he was at once beheaded for having failed. Another robber was dispatched, and, having won over Baba Mustapha, marked the house in red chalk; but Morgiana being again too clever for them, the second messenger was put to death also. The Captain now resolved to go himself, but, wiser than the others, he did not mark the house, but looked at it so closely that he could not fail to remember it. He returned, and ordered his men to go into the neighboring villages and buy nineteen mules, and thirty-eight leather jars, all empty except one, which was full of oil. The Captain put one of his men, fully armed, into each, rubbing the outside of the jars with oil from the full vessel. Then the nineteen mules were loaded with thirty-seven robbers in jars, and the jar of oil, and reached the town by dusk. The Captain stopped his mules in front of Ali Baba’s house, and said to Ali Baba, who was sitting outside for coolness: “I have brought some oil from a distance to sell at to-morrow’s market, but it is now so late that I know not where to pass the night, unless you will do me the favor to take me in.” Though Ali Baba had seen the Captain of the robbers in the forest, he did not recognize him in the disguise of an oil merchant. He bade him welcome, opened his gates for the mules to enter, and went to Morgiana to bid her prepare a bed and supper for his guest. He brought the stranger into his hall, and after they had supped went again to speak to Morgiana in the kitchen, while the Capt
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Whirr-r-r, how they fizzed and blazed!
All the Turks jumped so high that their slippers flew above their heads; such a splendid glitter they had never seen before.
Now they could quite well understand that it was the god of the Turks himself who was to marry the princess.
As soon as the young merchant came down again into the wood with his trunk he thought, ‘Now I will just go into the town to see how the show has taken.’
And it was quite natural that he should want to do this.
Oh! what stories the people had to tell!
Each one whom he asked had seen it differently, but they had all found it beautiful.
‘I saw the Turkish god himself,’ said one. ‘He had eyes like glittering stars, and a beard like foaming water.’
‘He flew away in a cloak of fire,’ said another. They were splendid things that he heard, and the next day was to be his wedding day.
Then he went back into the wood to sit in his trunk; but what had become of it? The trunk had been burnt. A spark of the fireworks had set it alight, and the trunk was in ashes. He could no longer fly, and could never reach his bride.
She stood the whole day long on the roof and waited; perhaps she is waiting there still.
But he wandered through the world and told stories; though they are not so merry as the one he told about the matches.
IN a town in Persia there dwelt two brothers, one named Cassim, the other Ali Baba. Cassim was married to a rich wife and lived in plenty, while Ali Baba had to maintain his wife and children by cutting wood in a neighboring forest and selling it in the town. One day, when Ali Baba was in the forest, he saw a troop of men on horseback, coming toward him in a cloud of dust. He was afraid they were robbers, and climbed into a tree for safety. When they came up to him and dismounted, he counted forty of them. They unbridled their horses and tied them to trees. The finest man among them, whom Ali Baba took to be their captain, went a little way among some bushes, and said: “Open, Sesame!”[1] so plainly that Ali Baba heard him. A door opened in the rocks, and having made the troop go in, he followed them, and the door shut again of itself. They stayed some time inside, and Ali Baba, fearing they might come out and catch him, was forced to sit patiently in the tree. At last the door opened again, and the Forty Thieves came out. As the Captain went in last he came out first, and made them all pass by him; he then closed the door, saying: “Shut, Sesame!” Every man bridled his horse and mounted, the Captain put himself at their head, and they returned as they came.
Then Ali Baba climbed down and went to the door concealed among the bushes, and said: “Open, Sesame!” and it flew open. Ali Baba, who expected a dull, dismal place, was greatly surprised to find it large and well lighted, hollowed by the hand of man in the form of a vault, which received the light from an opening in the ceiling. He saw rich bales of merchandise–silk, stuff-brocades, all piled together, and gold and silver in heaps, and money in leather purses. He went in and the door shut behind him. He did not look at the silver, but brought out as many bags of gold as he thought his asses, which were browsing outside, could carry, loaded them with the bags, and hid it all with fagots. Using the words: “Shut, Sesame!” he closed the door and went home.
Then he drove his asses into the yard, shut the gates, carried the money-bags to his wife, and emptied them out before her. He bade her keep the secret, and he would go and bury the gold. “Let me first measure it,” said his wife. “I will go borrow a measure of someone, while you dig the hole.” So she ran to the wife of Cassim and borrowed a measure. Knowing Ali Baba’s poverty, the sister was curious to find out what sort of grain his wife wished to measure, and artfully put some suet at the bottom of the measure. Ali Baba’s wife went home and set the measure on the heap of gold, and filled it and emptied it often, to her great content. She then carried it back to her sister, without noticing that a piece of gold was sticking to it, which Cassim’s wife perceived directly her back was turned. She grew very curious, and said to Cassim when he came home: “Cassim, your brother is richer than you. He does not count his money, he measures it.” He begged her to explain this riddle, which she did by showing him the piece of money and telling him where she found it. Then Cassim grew so envious that he could not sleep, and went to his brother in the morning before sunrise. “Ali Baba,” he said, showing him the gold piece, “you pretend to be poor and yet you measure gold.” By this Ali Baba perceived that through his wife’s folly Cassim and his wife knew their secret, so he confessed all and offered Cassim a share. “That I expect,” said Cassim; “but I must know where to find the treasure, otherwise I will discover all, and you will lose all.” Ali Baba, more out of kindness than fear, told him of the cave, and the very words to use. Cassim left Ali Baba, meaning to be beforehand with him and get the treasure for himself. He rose early next morning, and set out with ten mules loaded with great chests. He soon found the place, and the door in the rock. He said: “Open, Sesame!” and the door opened and shut behind him. He could have feasted his eyes all day on the treasures, but he now hastened to gather together as much of it as possible; but when he was ready to go he could not remember what to say for thinking of his great riches. Instead of “Sesame,” he said: “Open, Barley!” and the door remained fast. He named several different sorts of grain, all but the right one, and the door still stuck fast. He was so frightened at the danger he was in that he had as much forgotten the word as if he had never heard it.
About noon the robbers returned to their cave, and saw Cassim’s mules roving about with great chests on their backs. This gave them the alarm; they drew their sabres, and went to the door, which opened on their Captain’s saying: “Open, Sesame!” Cassim, who had heard the trampling of their horses’ feet, resolved to sell his life dearly, so when the door opened he leaped out and threw the Captain down. In vain, however, for the robbers with their sabres soon killed him. On entering the cave they saw all the bags laid ready, and could not imagine how anyone had got in without knowing their secret. They cut Cassim’s body into four quarters, and nailed them up inside the cave, in order to frighten anyone who should venture in, and went away in search of more treasure.
As night drew on Cassim’s wife grew very uneasy, and ran to her brother-in-law, and told him where her husband had gone. Ali Baba did his best to comfort her, and set out to the forest in search of Cassim. The first thing he saw on entering the cave was his dead brother. Full of horror, he put the body on one of his asses, and bags of gold on the other two, and, covering all with some fagots, returned home. He drove the two asses laden with gold into his own yard, and led the other to Cassim’s house. The door was opened by the slave Morgiana, whom he knew to be both brave and cunning. Unloading the ass, he said to her: “This is the body of your master, who has been murdered, but whom we must bury as though he had died in his bed. I will speak with you again, but now tell your mistress I am come.” The wife of Cassim, on learning the fate of her husband, broke out into cries and tears, but Ali Baba offered to take her to live with him and his wife if she would promise to keep his counsel and leave everything to Morgiana; whereupon she agreed, and dried her eyes.
Morgiana, meanwhile, sought an apothecary and asked him for some lozenges. “My poor master,” she said, “can neither eat nor speak, and no one knows what his distemper is.” She carried home the lozenges and returned next day weeping, and asked for an essence only given to those just about to die. Thus, in the evening, no one was surprised to hear the wretched shrieks and cries of Cassim’s wife and Morgiana, telling everyone that Cassim was dead. The day after Morgiana went to an old cobbler near the gates of the town who opened his stall early, put a piece of gold in his hand, and bade him follow her with his needle and thread. Having bound his eyes with a handkerchief, she took him to the room where the body lay, pulled off the bandage, and bade him sew the quarters together, after which she covered his eyes again and led him home. Then they buried Cassim, and Morgiana his slave followed him to the grave, weeping and tearing her hair, while Cassim’s wife stayed at home uttering lamentable cries. Next day she went to live with Ali Baba, who gave Cassim’s shop to his eldest son.
The Forty Thieves, on their return to the cave, were much astonished to find Cassim’s body gone and some of their money-bags. “We are certainly discovered,” said the Captain, “and shall be undone if we cannot find out who it is that knows our secret. Two men must have known it; we have killed one, we must now find the other. To this end one of you who is bold and artful must go into the city dressed as a traveler, and discover whom we have killed, and whether men talk of the strange manner of his death. If the messenger fails he must lose his life, lest we be betrayed.” One of the thieves started up and offered to do this, and after the rest had highly commended him for his bravery he disguised himself, and happened to enter the town at daybreak, just by Baba Mustapha’s stall. The thief bade him good-day, saying: “Honest man, how can you possibly see to stitch at your age?” “Old as I am,” replied the cobbler, “I have very good eyes, and will you believe me when I tell you that I sewed a dead body together in a place where I had less light than I have now.” The robber was overjoyed at his good fortune, and, giving him a piece of gold, desired to be shown the house where he stitched up the dead body. At first Mustapha refused, saying that he had been blindfolded; but when the robber gave him another piece of gold he began to think he might remember the turnings if blindfolded as before. This means succeeded; the robber partly led him, and was partly guided by him, right in front of Cassim’s house, the door of which the robber marked with a piece of chalk. Then, well pleased, he bade farewell to Baba Mustapha and returned to the forest. By and by Morgiana, going out, saw the mark the robber had made, quickly guessed that some mischief was brewing, and fetching a piece of chalk marked two or three doors on each side, without saying anything to her master or mistress.
The thief, meantime, told his comrades of his discovery. The Captain thanked him, and bade him show him the house he had marked. But when they came to it they saw that five or six of the houses were chalked in the same manner. The guide was so confounded that he knew not what answer to make, and when they returned he was at once beheaded for having failed. Another robber was dispatched, and, having won over Baba Mustapha, marked the house in red chalk; but Morgiana being again too clever for them, the second messenger was put to death also. The Captain now resolved to go himself, but, wiser than the others, he did not mark the house, but looked at it so closely that he could not fail to remember it. He returned, and ordered his men to go into the neighboring villages and buy nineteen mules, and thirty-eight leather jars, all empty except one, which was full of oil. The Captain put one of his men, fully armed, into each, rubbing the outside of the jars with oil from the full vessel. Then the nineteen mules were loaded with thirty-seven robbers in jars, and the jar of oil, and reached the town by dusk. The Captain stopped his mules in front of Ali Baba’s house, and said to Ali Baba, who was sitting outside for coolness: “I have brought some oil from a distance to sell at to-morrow’s market, but it is now so late that I know not where to pass the night, unless you will do me the favor to take me in.” Though Ali Baba had seen the Captain of the robbers in the forest, he did not recognize him in the disguise of an oil merchant. He bade him welcome, opened his gates for the mules to enter, and went to Morgiana to bid her prepare a bed and supper for his guest. He brought the stranger into his hall, and after they had supped went again to speak to Morgiana in the kitchen, while the Captain went into the yard under pretense of seeing after his mules, but really to tell his men what to do. Beginning at the first jar and ending at the last, he said to each man: “As soon as I throw some stones from the window of the chamber where I lie, cut the jars open with your knives and come out, and I will be with you in a trice.” He returned to the house, and Morgiana led him to his chamber. She then told Abdallah, her fellow-slave, to set on the pot to make some broth for her master, who had gone to bed. Meanwhile her lamp went out, and she had no more oil in the house. “Do not be uneasy,” said Abdallah; “go into the yard and take some out of one of those jars.” Morgiana thanked him for his advice, took the oil pot, and went into the yard. When she came to the first jar the robber inside said softly: “Is it time?”
Any other slave but Morgiana, on finding a man in the jar instead of the oil she wanted, would have screamed and made a noise; but she, knowing the danger her master was in, bethought herself of a plan, and answered quietly: “Not yet, but presently.” She went to all the jars, giving the same answer, till she came to the jar of oil. She now saw that her master, thinking to entertain an oil merchant, had let thirty-eight robbers into his house. She filled her oil pot, went back to the kitchen, and, having lit her lamp, went again to the oil jar and filled a large kettle full of oil. When it boiled she went and poured enough oil into every jar to stifle and kill the robber inside. When this brave deed was done she went back to the kitchen, put out the fire and the lamp, and waited to see what would happen.
In a quarter of an hour the Captain of the robbers awoke, got up, and opened the window. As all seemed quiet, he threw down some little pebbles which hit the jars. He listened, and as none of his men seemed to stir he grew uneasy, and went down into the yard. On going to the first jar and saying, “Are you asleep?” he smelt the hot boiled oil, and knew at once that his plot to murder Ali Baba and his household had been discovered. He found all the gang was dead, and, missing the oil out of the last jar, became aware of the manner of their death. He then forced the lock of a door leading into a garden, and climbing over several walls made his escape. Morgiana heard and saw all this, and, rejoicing at her success, went to bed and fell asleep.
At daybreak Ali Baba arose, and, seeing the oil jars still there, asked why the merchant had not gone with his mules. Morgiana bade him look in the first jar and see if there was any oil. Seeing a man, he started back in terror. “Have no fear,” said Morgiana; “the man cannot harm you: he is dead.” Ali Baba, when he had recovered somewhat from his astonishment, asked what had become of the merchant. “Merchant!” said she, “he is no more a merchant than I am!” and she told him the whole story, assuring him that it was a plot of the robbers of the forest, of whom only three were left, and that the white and red chalk marks had something to do with it. Ali Baba at once gave Morgiana her freedom, saying that he owed her his life. They then buried the bodies in Ali Baba’s garden, while the mules were sold in the market by his slaves.
The Captain returned to his lonely cave, which seemed frightful to him without his lost companions, and firmly resolved to avenge them by killing Ali Baba. He dressed himself carefully, and went into the town, where he took lodgings in an inn. In the course of a great many journeys to the forest he carried away many rich stuffs and much fine linen, and set up a shop opposite that of Ali Baba’s son. He called himself Cogia Hassan, and as he was both civil and well dressed he soon made friends with Ali Baba’s son, and through him with Ali Baba, whom he was continually asking to sup with him. Ali Baba, wishing to return his kindness, invited him into his house and received him smiling, thanking him for his kindness to his son. When the merchant was about to take his leave Ali Baba stopped him, saying: “Where are you going, sir, in such haste? Will you not stay and sup with me?” The merchant refused, saying that he had a reason; and, on Ali Baba’s asking him what that was, he replied: “It is, sir, that I can eat no victuals that have any salt in them.” “If that is all,” said Ali Baba, “let me tell you that there shall be no salt in either the meat or the bread that we eat to-night.” He went to give this order to Morgiana, who was much surprised. “Who is this man,” she said, “who eats no salt with his meat?” “He is an honest man, Morgiana,” returned her master; “therefore do as I bid you.” But she could not withstand a desire to see this strange man, so she helped Abdallah to carry up the dishes, and saw in a moment that Cogia Hassan was the robber Captain, and carried a dagger under his garment. “I am not surprised,” she said to herself, “that this wicked man, who intends to kill my master, will eat no salt with him; but I will hinder his plans.”
She sent up the supper by Abdallah, while she made ready for one of the boldest acts that could be thought on. When the dessert had been served, Cogia Hassan was left alone with Ali Baba and his son, whom he thought to make drunk and then to murder them. Morgiana, meanwhile, put on a head-dress like a dancing-girl’s, and clasped a girdle round her waist, from which hung a dagger with a silver hilt, and said to Abdallah: “Take your tabor, and let us go and divert our master and his guest.” Abdallah took his tabor and played before Morgiana until they came to the door, where Abdallah stopped playing and Morgiana made a low courtesy. “Come in, Morgiana,” said Ali Baba, “and let Cogia Hassan see what you can do”; and, turning to Cogia Hassan, he said: “She’s my slave and my housekeeper.” Cogia Hassan was by no means pleased, for he feared that his chance of killing Ali Baba was gone for the present; but he pretended great eagerness to see Morgiana, and Abdallah began to play and Morgiana to dance. After she had performed several dances she drew her dagger and made passes with it, sometimes pointing it at her own breast, sometimes at her master’s, as if it were part of the dance. Suddenly, out of breath, she snatched the tabor from Abdallah with her left hand, and, holding the dagger in her right hand, held out the tabor to her master. Ali Baba and his son put a piece of gold into it, and Cogia Hassan, seeing that she was coming to him, pulled out his purse to make her a present, but while he was putting his hand into it Morgiana plunged the dagger into his heart.
“Unhappy girl!” cried Ali Baba and his son, “what have you done to ruin us?”
“It was to preserve you, master, not to ruin you,” answered Morgiana. “See here,” opening the false merchant’s garment and showing the dagger; “see what an enemy you have entertained! Remember, he would eat no salt with you, and what more would you have? Look at him! he is both the false oil merchant and the Captain of the Forty Thieves.”
Ali Baba was so grateful to Morgiana for thus saving his life that he offered her to his son in marriage, who readily consented, and a few days after the wedding was celebrated with greatest splendor.
At the end of a year Ali Baba, hearing nothing of the two remaining robbers, judged they were dead, and set out to the cave. The door opened on his saying: “Open Sesame!” He went in, and saw that nobody had been there since the Captain left it. He brought away as much gold as he could carry, and returned to town. He told his son the secret of the cave, which his son handed down in his turn, so the children and grandchildren of Ali Baba were rich to the end of their lives.
ONCE there was a gentleman who married, for his second wife, the proudest and most haughty woman that was ever seen. She had been married before, and already had two daughters who were exactly like her in all things. He had likewise, by his first wife, a young daughter, but of unequalled goodness and sweetness of temper, which she took from her mother, who was the best creature in the world. This sweet little girl missed her mother, who had died, terribly much.
No sooner was the wedding ceremony over, than the new wife began to show herself in her true colors. She could not bear the goodness of the gentleman’s pretty girl, and especially as she made her own daughters appear the more horrid. She made her do the meanest jobs in the house: the girl scoured the dishes and tables, and scrubbed the stepmother’s bathroom, and those of her daughters; she slept in a little attic, upon a wretched straw bed, while her sisters lay upon beds with the softest pillows, in fine rooms, with floors covered with beautiful carpets, and walls on which hung looking-glasses so large that they might see themselves at their full length from head to foot.
The poor girl bore all patiently, and dared not tell her father, who would have been angry with her; for his new wife ruled him entirely. When the little girl had done her work, she used to go into the chimney-corner, and sit down among cinders and ashes, which led her to be called Cinderwench; but the youngest step-daughter, who was not quite so rude and unkind as the eldest, called her Cinderella. However, Cinderella, even though she was dressed in rags, was a hundred times prettier than her sisters, though they were always dressed very richly.
It happened that the King’s son gave a ball, and invited all finest gentlemen and ladies of the city. Our young misses were also invited, for they were always to be seen at fashionable parties. They were truly delighted at this invitation, and wonderfully busy in choosing such gowns, petticoats, and head-clothes as might suit them. This was a new trouble to Cinderella; for it was she who washed and ironed her sisters’ clothes and got all their things ready. Meanwhile, the sisters talked all day long of nothing but what they should wear to the ball.
“For my part,” said the eldest, “I will wear my red velvet suit with French trimming.”
“And I,” said the youngest, “shall have my usual petticoat; but then, to make amends for that, I will put on my gold-flowered gown, and my diamond belt, which is far from being the most ordinary one in the world.”
But in truth, they were still not absolutely sure what would be best to wear to the ball, so they sent for the best fashion designer they could find to advise on their evening dresses, and they had their nails maniqured at Mademoiselle de la Poche.
Cinderella was likewise called up to them for advice, for she had excellent judgement, and advised them always for the best, indeed, and offered her services to make up their hair, which they were very willing she should do. As she was doing this, they said to her:
“Cinderella, would you not be glad to go to the ball?”
“Alas!” said she, “you only jeer me; it is not for a poor girl like me to go there.”
“You’re quite right,” replied they; “it would make the people laugh to see a Cinderwench at a ball.”
Anyone but Cinderella would have dressed their heads all wrong, but she was very good, and dressed them perfectly well.
The step-sisters were almost two days without eating, so much were they thrilled and excited. They broke above a dozen corsettes in trying to be laced up tightly, so that they might have a fine slender shape, and they were continually at their looking-glass. At last the happy day came; they went to Court, and Cinderella followed them with her eyes as long as she could, and when she had lost sight of them, she fell a-crying.
Just then, her fairy-godmother, who used to watch-over her secretly, saw her all in tears, and appeared at her side and asked her what was the matter.
“I wish I could–I wish I could–”; she was not able to speak the rest, being interrupted by her tears and sobbing.
This fairy godmother of hers said to her, “You wish you could go to the ball; is it not so?”
“Y–es,” cried Cinderella, with a great sigh.
“Well,” said her godmother, “be but a good girl, and I will see that you shall go to the ball.” Then she took her into her secret room, and said to her, “Run into the garden, and bring me a pumpkin.”
Cinderella went immediately to gather the finest she could get, and brought it to her godmother, not being able to imagine how this pumpkin could make her go to the ball. Her godmother scooped out all the inside of the big vegitable, leaving nothing but the rind; which done, she struck it with her wand, and the pumpkin was instantly turned into a fine coach, gilded all over with gold.
She then went to look into her mouse-trap, where she found six mice, all alive, and ordered Cinderella to lift up a little the trapdoor. As each mouse went out, she gave it a little tap with her wand, and the mouse was that moment turned into a fine horse, which altogether made a very fine set of six horses of a beautiful mouse-colored dapple-gray. But they still needed a coachman,
“I will go and see,” says Cinderella, “if there is a rat in the rat-trap–we may make a coachman of him.”
“You’re a smart one,” replied her godmother; “go and look.”
Cinderella brought the trap to her, and in it there were three huge rats. The fairy made choice of one of the three which had the largest beard, and, having touched him with her wand, he was turned into a fat, jolly coach- man, who had the smartest whiskers eyes ever beheld. After that, she said to her:
“Go again into the garden, and you will find six lizards behind the watering-pot, bring them to me.”
She had no sooner done so but her godmother turned them into six footmen, who skipped up immediately behind the coach, with their uniforms all bedaubed with gold and silver, and clung as close behind each other as if they had done nothing else their whole lives. The Fairy then said to Cinderella:
“Well, you have here transport fit to take you to the ball; are you not pleased with it?”
“Oh! yes,” cried she; “but must I go there as I am, in these nasty rags?”
Her godmother only just touched her with her wand, and, at the same instant, her clothes were turned into cloth of gold and silver, all beset with jewels. This done, she gave her a pair of glass slippers, the prettiest in the whole world. Being thus decked out, she got up into her coach; but her godmother, above all things, commanded her not to stay till after midnight, telling her, at the same time, that if she stayed one moment longer, the coach would be a pumpkin again, her horses mice, her coachman a rat, her footmen lizards, and her clothes become just as they were before.
She promised her godmother she would not fail of leaving the ball before midnight; and then away she drives, scarce able to contain herself for joy. The King’s son who was told that a great princess, whom nobody knew, was come, ran out to receive her; he gave her his hand as she alighted out of the coach, and led her into the ball, among all the company. There was immediately a profound silence, they left off dancing, and the violins ceased to play, so attentive was everyone to contemplate the singular beauties of the unknown new-comer. Nothing was then heard but a confused noise of:
“Ha! how lovey she is! Ha! how lovely she is!”
The King himself, old as he was, could not help watching her, and telling the Queen softly that it was a long time since he had seen so beautiful and lovely a creature.
All the ladies were busied in considering her clothes and headdress, that they might have some made next day after the same pattern, provided they could meet with such fine material and as able hands to make them.
The King’s son led her to the most honorable seat, and afterward took her out to dance with him; she danced so very gracefully that they all more and more admired her. A fine banquet was served up, of which the young prince ate not a morsel, so intently was he busied in gazing on her.
She went and sat down by her sisters, showing them a thousand polite gestures, giving them part of the oranges and lemon blosoms which the Prince had presented her with, which very much surprised them, for they did not recognise her. While Cinderella was thus amusing her sisters, she heard the clock strike eleven and three-quarters, whereupon she immediately made a courtesy to the company and hasted away as fast as she could.
When she got home she ran to seek out her godmother, and, after having thanked her, she said she could not but heartily wish she might go next day to the ball, because the King’s son had desired her.
As she was eagerly telling her godmother whatever had passed at the ball, her two sisters knocked at the door, which Cinderella ran and opened.
“How long you have stayed!” cried she, gaping, rubbing her eyes and stretching herself as if she had been just waked out of her sleep; she had not, however, any manner of inclination to sleep since they went from home.
“If you had been at the ball,” said one of her sisters, “you would not have been tired with it. There came there the finest princess, the most beautiful ever was seen with mortal eyes; she was a thousand times nice to us, and gave us orange and lemon blossoms.”
Cinderella seemed very indifferent in the matter; indeed, she asked them the name of that princess; but they told her they did not know it, and that the King’s son was very uneasy on her account and would give all the world to know who she was. At this Cinderella, smiling, replied:
“She must, then, be very beautiful indeed; how happy you have been! Could not I see her? Ah! dear Miss Charlotte, do lend me your yellow suit of clothes which you wear every day.”
“Ay, to be sure!” cried Miss Charlotte; “lend my clothes to such a dirty Cinderwench as you! I should be a fool.”
Cinderella, indeed, expected well such answer, and was very glad of the refusal; for she would have been sadly put to it if her sister had lent her what she asked for jokingly.
The next day the two sisters were at the ball, and so was Cinderella, but dressed more magnificently than before. The King’s son was always by her, and never ceased his compliments and kind speeches to her; to whom all this was so far from being tiresome that she quite forgot what her godmother had recommended to her; so that she, at last, counted the clock striking twelve when she took it to be no more than eleven; she then rose up and fled, as nimble as a deer. The Prince followed, but could not overtake her. She left behind one of her glass slippers, which the Prince took up most carefully. She got home but quite out of breath, and in her nasty old clothes, having nothing left her of all her finery but one of the little slippers, fellow to that she dropped. The guards at the palace gate were asked: If they had not seen a princess go out. They replied that had seen nobody go out but a young girl, very meanly dressed, and who had more the air of a poor country wench than a gentlewoman.
When the two sisters returned from the ball Cinderella asked them: If they had been well diverted, and if the fine lady had been there.
They told her: Yes, but that she hurried away immediately when it struck twelve, and with so much haste that she dropped one of her little glass slippers, the prettiest in the world, which the King’s son had taken up; that he had done nothing but look at her all the time at the ball, and that most certainly he was very much in love with the beautiful person who owned the glass slipper.
What they said was very true; for a few days after the King’s son commanded it to be proclaimed, by sound of trumpet, that he would marry the young woman whose foot would perfectly fit the slipper. He sent out his most trusted advsiers from the palace, who began to try it upon the princesses, then the duchesses and all the Court, but in vain; it was brought to the two sisters, who each did all that she possibly could to thrust her foot into the slipper, but neither sister could manage to do so. Cinderella, who saw all this, and knew her slipper, said to them, laughing:
“Let me see if it will not fit me.”
Her sisters burst out a-laughing, and began to tease her. The gentleman who was sent to try the slipper looked earnestly at Cinderella, and, finding her very handsome, said: it was only right that that she should try, and that he had orders to let every girl try.
He asked Cinderella to sit down, and, putting the slipper to her foot, he found it went on very easily, and fitted her as if it had been made of wax. The astonishment her two sisters were in was excessively great, but still abundantly greater when Cinderella pulled out of her pocket the other slipper, and put it on her foot. Thereupon, in came her godmother, who, having touched with her wand Cinderella’s clothes, made them richer and more magnificent than any of those she had before.
And now her two sisters found her to be that fine, beautiful lady whom they had seen at the ball. They threw themselves at her feet to beg pardon for all the ill- treatment they had dished out to her. Cinderella took them up, and, as she embraced them, cried:
That she forgave them with all her heart, and desired them always to love her.
She was brought by carriage to the young prince, dressed as she was; he thought her more charming than ever, and, a few days after, married her. Cinderella, who was no less good than beautiful, gave her two sisters rooms in the palace, and that very same day matched them with two great lords of the Court.
A cat got to know a mouse, and spoke so much of the great love and friendship she felt for her, that at last the Mouse agreed to live in the same house with her, and to go shares in the housekeeping. ‘But we must store up food for the winter or else we shall be hungry,’ said the Cat. ‘And You, little Mouse, cannot venture everywhere in case you run into a trap.’ This good advice was followed, and a little pot of fat was bought. But they did not know where to put it. At length, after long discussion, the Cat said, ‘I know of no place where it could be better put than in the church. No one will trouble to take it away from there. We will hide it in a corner, and we won’t touch it till we really need it.’ So the little pot was placed in safety; but it was not long before the Cat had a great longing for it, and said to the Mouse, ‘I wanted to tell you, little Mouse, that my cousin has a little son, white with brown spots, and she wants me to be godmother to that little kitten. Let me go out to-day, and do you take care of the house alone.’
‘Yes, go certainly,’ replied the Mouse, ‘and when you eat anything good, think of me; I should very much like a drop of the red christening wine.’
But it was all untrue. The Cat had no cousin, and had not been asked to be godmother. She went straight to the church, slunk to the little pot of fat, began to lick it, and licked the top off. Then she took a walk on the roofs of the town, looked at the view, stretched herself out in the sun, and licked her lips whenever she thought of the little pot of fat. As soon as it was evening she went home again.
‘Ah, here you are again!’ said the Mouse; ‘you must certainly have had an enjoyable day.’
‘It went off very well,’ answered the Cat.
‘What was the child’s name?’ asked the Mouse.
‘Top Off,’ said the Cat drily.
‘Topoff!’ echoed the Mouse, ‘it is indeed a wonderful and curious name. Are there others called Topoff in your family?’
‘What is there odd about it?’ said the Cat. ‘It is not worse than Breadthief, as your godchild is called.’
Not long after this another great longing came over the Cat. She said to the Mouse, ‘You must again be kind enough to look after the house alone, for I have been asked a second time to stand godmother, and as this kitten has a white ring round its neck, I cannot refuse.’
The kind Mouse agreed, but the Cat slunk under the town wall to the church, and ate up half of the pot of fat. ‘Nothing tastes better,’ said she, ‘than what one eats by oneself,’ and she was very much pleased with her day’s work. When she came home the Mouse asked, ‘What was this child called?’
‘Half Gone,’ answered the Cat.
‘Halfgone! what a name! I have never heard it in my life. I don’t believe it is in any book!’
Soon the Cat’s mouth began to water once more after her licking business. ‘All good things in threes,’ she said to the Mouse; ‘I have again to stand godmother. The child is quite black, and has very white paws, but not a single white hair on its body. This only happens once in two years, so you will let me go out?’
‘Topoff! Halfgone!’ repeated the Mouse, ‘they are such curious names; they make me very thoughtful.’
‘Oh, you sit at home in your dark grey coat and your long tail,’ said the Cat, ‘and you get fanciful. That comes of not going out in the day.’
The Mouse had a good cleaning out while the Cat was gone, and made the house tidy; but the greedy Cat ate the fat every bit up.
‘
When it is all gone one can be at rest,’ she said to herself, and at night she came home sleek and satisfied. The Mouse asked at once after the third child’s name.
‘It won’t please you any better,’ said the Cat, ‘he was called Clean Gone.’
‘Cleangone!’ repeated the Mouse. ‘I do not believe that name has been printed any more than the others. Cleangone! What can it mean?’ She shook her head, curled herself up, and went to sleep.
From this time on no one asked the Cat to stand godmother; but when the winter came and there was nothing to be got outside, the Mouse remembered their provision and said, ‘Come, Cat, we will go to our pot of fat which we have stored away; it will taste very good.’
‘Yes, indeed,’ answered the Cat; ‘ it will taste as good to you as if you stretched your thin tongue out of the window.’
They started off, and when they reached it they found the pot in its place, but quite empty!
‘Ah,’ said the Mouse,’ ‘now I know what has happened! It has all come out! You are a true friend to me! You have eaten it all when you stood godmother; first the top off, then half of it gone, then—-’
‘Will you be quiet!’ screamed the Cat. ‘Another word and I will eat you up.’
‘Cleangone’ was already on the poor Mouse’s tongue, and scarcely was it out than the Cat made a spring at her, seized and swallowed her.
You see that is the way of the world.
Hello Everybody, My Name’s natasha, and his Royal Highness Prince Bertie the Frog has commanded me to tell you the storynory of the Tin Solider, by Hans Christian Andersen [version by Andrew Lang]
But first, I’ll share a little gossip I picked up about Bertie. Once, when Bertie was still a prince, before he was turned into a frog, he tried to play with the soldiers who stood guard outside palace, but the Sergeant Major shouted him really loudly, and made his clean his boots and tidy his room, and after that Bertie decided to stick playing with toy soldiers. That’s a secret by the way, so don’t’ tell anyone. Now, Bertie’s asking me to get on with the story, so I had better begin the Storyory of the Steadfast Tin Soldier.
There were once upon a time five-and twenty tin-soldiers–all brothers, as they were made out of the same old tin spoon. Their uniform was red and blue, and they shouldered their guns and looked straight in front of them. The first words that they heard in this world, when the lid of the box in which they lay was taken off, were: ‘Hurrah, tin-soldiers!’ This was exclaimed by a little boy, clapping his hands; they had been given to him because it was his birthday, and now he began setting them out on the table. Each soldier was exactly like the other in shape, except just one, who had been made last when the tin had run short; but there he stood as firmly on his one leg as the others did on two, and he is the one that became famous.
There were many other playthings on the table on which they were being set out, but the nicest of all was a pretty little castle made of cardboard, with windows through which you could see into the rooms. In front of the castle stood some little trees surrounding a tiny mirror which looked like a lake. Wax swans were floating about and reflecting themselves in it. That was all very pretty; but the most beautiful thing was a little lady, who stood in the open doorway. She was cut out of paper, but she had on a dress of the finest muslin, with a scarf of narrow blue ribbon round her shoulders, fastened in the middle with a glittering rose made of gold paper, which was as large as her head. The little lady was stretching out both her arms, for she was a Dancer, and was lifting up one leg so high in the air that the Tin-soldier couldn’t find it anywhere, and thought that she, too, had only one leg.
‘That’s the wife for me!’ he thought; ‘but she is so grand, and lives in a castle, whilst I have only a box with four-and-twenty others. This is no place for her! But I must make her acquaintance.’ Then he stretched himself out behind a snuff-box that lay on the table; from thence he could watch the dainty little lady, who continued to stand on one leg without losing her balance.
When the night came all the other tin-soldiers went into their box, and the people of the house went to bed. Then the toys began to play at visiting, dancing, and fighting. The tin-soldiers rattled in their box, for they wanted to be out too, but they could not raise the lid. The nut-crackers played at leap-frog, and the chalk ran about the blackboard; there was such a noise that the canary woke up and began to talk to them, in poetry too! The only two who did not stir from their places were the Tin-soldier and the little Dancer. She remained on tip-toe, with both arms outstretched; he stood steadfastly on his one leg, never moving his eyes from her face.
The clock struck twelve, and crack! off flew the lid of the spice- box; but there were no spices inside, nor any hot curry powder, only a little imp–that was the beauty of it. Now an imp is a magical creature, a little like a fairy, only more naughty.
‘Hullo, Tin-soldier!’ said the imp. ‘Don’t look at things that aren’t intended for the likes of you!’ She meant that he shouldn’t look at the little dander.
But the Tin-soldier took no notice, and seemed not to hear.
‘Very well, wait till to-morrow!’ said the imp.
When it was morning, and the children had got up, the Tin-soldier was put in the window; and whether it was the wind or the little imp, I don’t know, but all at once the window flew open and out fell the little Tin-soldier, head over heels, from the third- storey window! That was a terrible fall, I can tell you! He landed on his head with his leg in the air, his gun being wedged between two paving-stones.
The nursery-maid and the little boy came down at once to look for him, but, though they were so near him that they almost trod on him, they did not notice him. If the Tin-soldier had only called out ‘Here I am!’ they must have found him; but he did not think it fitting for him to cry out, because he had on his uniform.
Soon it began to drizzle; then the drops came faster, and there was a regular down-pour. When it was over, two little street boys came along.
‘Just look!’ cried one. ‘Here is a Tin-soldier! He shall sail up and down in a boat!’
So they made a little boat out of newspaper, put the Tin-soldier in it, and made him sail up and down the gutter; both the boys ran along beside him, clapping their hands. What great waves there were in the gutter, and what a swift current! The paper-boat tossed up and down, and in the middle of the stream it went so quick that the Tin-soldier trembled; but he remained steadfast, showed no emotion, looked straight in front of him, shouldering his gun. All at once the boat passed under a long tunnel that was as dark as his box had been.
‘Where can I be coming now?’ he wondered. ‘Oh, dear! This is the imp’s fault! Ah, if only the little lady were sitting beside me in the boat, it might be twice as dark for all I should care!’
Suddenly there came along a great water-rat that lived in the tunnel.
‘Have you a passport?’ asked the rat. ‘Out with your passport!’
But the Tin-soldier was silent, and grasped his gun more firmly.
The boat sped on, and the rat behind it. Ugh! how he showed his teeth, as he cried to the chips of wood and straw: ‘Hold him, hold him! he has not paid the toll! He has not shown his passport!’
But the current became swifter and stronger. The Tin-soldier could already see daylight where the tunnel ended; but in his ears there sounded a roaring enough to frighten any brave man. Only think! at the end of the tunnel the gutter discharged itself into a great canal; that would be just as dangerous for him as it would be for us to go down a waterfall.
Now he was so near to it that he could not hold on any longer. On went the boat, the poor Tin-soldier keeping himself as stiff as he could: no one should say of him afterwards that he had flinched. The boat whirled three, four times round, and became filled to the brim with water: it began to sink! The Tin-soldier was standing up to his neck in water, and deeper and deeper sank the boat, and softer and softer grew the paper; now the water was over his head. He was thinking of the pretty little Dancer, whose face he should never see again, and there sounded in his ears, over and over again:
‘Forward, forward, soldier bold! Death’s before thee, grim and cold!’
The paper came in two, and the soldier fell–but at that moment he was swallowed by a great fish.
Oh! how dark it was inside, even darker than in the tunnel, and it was really very close quarters! But there the steadfast little Tin-soldier lay full length, shouldering his gun.
Up and down swam the fish, then he made the most dreadful contortions, and became suddenly quite still. Then it was as if a flash of lightning had passed through him; the daylight streamed in, and a voice exclaimed, ‘Why, here is the little Tin-soldier!’ The fish had been caught, taken to market, sold, and brought into the kitchen, where the cook had cut it open with a great knife. She took up the soldier between her finger and thumb, and carried him into the room, where everyone wanted to see the hero who had been found inside a fish; but the Tin-soldier was not at all proud. They put him on the table, and–no, but what strange things do happen in this world!–the Tin-soldier was in the same room in which he had been before! He saw the same children, and the same toys on the table; and there was the same grand castle with the pretty little Dancer. She was still standing on one leg with the other high in the air; she too was steadfast. That touched the Tin-soldier, he was nearly going to shed tin-tears; but that would not have been fitting for a soldier. He looked at her, but she said nothing.
All at once one of the little boys took up the Tin-soldier, and threw him into the stove, giving no reasons; but doubtless the imp in the spice-box was at the bottom of this too.
There the Tin-soldier lay, and felt a heat that was truly terrible; but whether he was suffering from actual fire, or from the ardour of his passion, he did not know. All his colour had disappeared; whether this had happened on his travels or whether it was the result of trouble, who can say? He looked at the little lady, she looked at him, and he felt that he was melting; but he remained steadfast, with his gun at his shoulder. Suddenly a door opened, the draught caught up the little Dancer, and off she flew like a fairy to the Tin-soldier in the stove, burst into flames–and that was the end of her! Then the Tin-soldier melted down into a little lump, and when next morning the maid was taking out the ashes, she found him in the shape of a heart. There was nothing left of the little Dancer but her gilt rose, burnt as black as a cinder.
And that’s the Storynory of The Steadfast Tin Soldier. I think the ending was rather sad, don’t you? He was such a brave little soldier. But not all stories have happy endings. Bertie says that when he was a prince, he always looked after all his toys, really carefully, and always put them away in their correct places. He would never lose a good little soldier like the one in the story.
ONCE upon a time there dwelt on the outskirts of a large forest a poor woodcutter with his wife and two children; the boy was called Hansel and the girl Grettel. He had always little enough to live on, and once, when times were bad, they had to get by with one piece of bread and butter each. One night, as he was tossing about in bed, full of cares and worry, he sighed and said to his wife: “What’s to become of us? how are we to feed our poor children, now that we have nothing more for ourselves?” “I’ll tell you what, husband,” answered the woman; “early to-morrow morning we’ll take the children out into the thickest part of the wood; there we shall light a fire for them and give them each a piece of bread; then we’ll go on to our work and leave them alone. They won’t be able to find their way home, and we shall be rid of them.” “No, wife,” said her husband, “that I won’t do; how could I find it in my heart to leave my children alone in the wood? The wild beasts would soon come and tear them to pieces.” “Oh! you fool,” said she, “then we must all four die of hunger, and you may just as well go and saw the boards for our coffins”; and they argued and argued, until he agreed that they must get rid of Hansel and Grettel. “But I can’t help feeling sorry for the poor children,” added the husband.
The children, too, had not been able to sleep for hunger, and had heard what their step-mother had said to their father. Grettel wept bitterly and spoke to Hansel: “Now it’s all up with us.” “No, no, Grettel,” said Hansel, “don’t fret yourself; I’ll be able to find a way to escape, no fear.” And when the old people had fallen asleep he got up, slipped on his little coat, opened the back door and stole out. The moon was shining clearly, and the white pebbles which lay in front of the house glittered like bits of silver. Hansel bent down and filled his pocket with as many of them as he could cram in. Then he went back and said to Grettel: “Be comforted, my dear little sister, and go to sleep: God will not desert us”; and he lay down in bed again.
At daybreak, even before the sun was up, the woman came and woke the two children: “Get up, you lie-abeds, we’re all going to the forest to fetch wood.” She gave them each a bit of bread and said: “There’s something for your luncheon, but don’t you eat it up before, for it’s all you’ll get.” Grettel took the bread under her apron, as Hansel had the stones in his pocket. Then they all set out together on the way to the forest. After they had walked for a little, Hansel stood still and looked back at the house, and this maneuver he repeated again and again. His father observed him, and said: “Hansel, what are you gazing at there, and why do you always remain behind? Take care, and don’t lose your footing.” “Oh! father,” said Hansel, “I am looking back at my white kitten, which is sitting on the roof, waving me a farewell.” The woman exclaimed: “What a donkey you are! that isn’t your kitten, that’s the morning sun shining on the chimney.” But Hansel had not looked back at his kitten, ‘Now I must also give them a treat,’ thought the merchant’s son. And so he bought rockets, crackers, and all the kinds of fireworks you can think of, put them in his trunk, and flew up with them into the air.
Whirr-r-r, how they fizzed and blazed!
All the Turks jumped so high that their slippers flew above their heads; such a splendid glitter they had never seen before.
Now they could quite well understand that it was the god of the Turks himself who was to marry the princess.
As soon as the young merchant came down again into the wood with his trunk he thought, ‘Now I will just go into the town to see how the show has taken.’
And it was quite natural that he should want to do this.
Oh! what stories the people had to tell!
Each one whom he asked had seen it differently, but they had all found it beautiful.
‘I saw the Turkish god himself,’ said one. ‘He had eyes like glittering stars, and a beard like foaming water.’
‘He flew away in a cloak of fire,’ said another. They were splendid things that he heard, and the next day was to be his wedding day.
Then he went back into the wood to sit in his trunk; but what had become of it? The trunk had been burnt. A spark of the fireworks had set it alight, and the trunk was in ashes. He could no longer fly, and could never reach his bride.
She stood the whole day long on the roof and waited; perhaps she is waiting there still.
But he wandered through the world and told stories; though they are not so merry as the one he told about the matches.
IN a town in Persia there dwelt two brothers, one named Cassim, the other Ali Baba. Cassim was married to a rich wife and lived in plenty, while Ali Baba had to maintain his wife and children by cutting wood in a neighboring forest and selling it in the town. One day, when Ali Baba was in the forest, he saw a troop of men on horseback, coming toward him in a cloud of dust. He was afraid they were robbers, and climbed into a tree for safety. When they came up to him and dismounted, he counted forty of them. They unbridled their horses and tied them to trees. The finest man among them, whom Ali Baba took to be their captain, went a little way among some bushes, and said: “Open, Sesame!”[1] so plainly that Ali Baba heard him. A door opened in the rocks, and having made the troop go in, he followed them, and the door shut again of itself. They stayed some time inside, and Ali Baba, fearing they might come out and catch him, was forced to sit patiently in the tree. At last the door opened again, and the Forty Thieves came out. As the Captain went in last he came out first, and made them all pass by him; he then closed the door, saying: “Shut, Sesame!” Every man bridled his horse and mounted, the Captain put himself at their head, and they returned as they came.
Then Ali Baba climbed down and went to the door concealed among the bushes, and said: “Open, Sesame!” and it flew open. Ali Baba, who expected a dull, dismal place, was greatly surprised to find it large and well lighted, hollowed by the hand of man in the form of a vault, which received the light from an opening in the ceiling. He saw rich bales of merchandise–silk, stuff-brocades, all piled together, and gold and silver in heaps, and money in leather purses. He went in and the door shut behind him. He did not look at the silver, but brought out as many bags of gold as he thought his asses, which were browsing outside, could carry, loaded them with the bags, and hid it all with fagots. Using the words: “Shut, Sesame!” he closed the door and went home.
Then he drove his asses into the yard, shut the gates, carried the money-bags to his wife, and emptied them out before her. He bade her keep the secret, and he would go and bury the gold. “Let me first measure it,” said his wife. “I will go borrow a measure of someone, while you dig the hole.” So she ran to the wife of Cassim and borrowed a measure. Knowing Ali Baba’s poverty, the sister was curious to find out what sort of grain his wife wished to measure, and artfully put some suet at the bottom of the measure. Ali Baba’s wife went home and set the measure on the heap of gold, and filled it and emptied it often, to her great content. She then carried it back to her sister, without noticing that a piece of gold was sticking to it, which Cassim’s wife perceived directly her back was turned. She grew very curious, and said to Cassim when he came home: “Cassim, your brother is richer than you. He does not count his money, he measures it.” He begged her to explain this riddle, which she did by showing him the piece of money and telling him where she found it. Then Cassim grew so envious that he could not sleep, and went to his brother in the morning before sunrise. “Ali Baba,” he said, showing him the gold piece, “you pretend to be poor and yet you measure gold.” By this Ali Baba perceived that through his wife’s folly Cassim and his wife knew their secret, so he confessed all and offered Cassim a share. “That I expect,” said Cassim; “but I must know where to find the treasure, otherwise I will discover all, and you will lose all.” Ali Baba, more out of kindness than fear, told him of the cave, and the very words to use. Cassim left Ali Baba, meaning to be beforehand with him and get the treasure for himself. He rose early next morning, and set out with ten mules loaded with great chests. He soon found the place, and the door in the rock. He said: “Open, Sesame!” and the door opened and shut behind him. He could have feasted his eyes all day on the treasures, but he now hastened to gather together as much of it as possible; but when he was ready to go he could not remember what to say for thinking of his great riches. Instead of “Sesame,” he said: “Open, Barley!” and the door remained fast. He named several different sorts of grain, all but the right one, and the door still stuck fast. He was so frightened at the danger he was in that he had as much forgotten the word as if he had never heard it.
About noon the robbers returned to their cave, and saw Cassim’s mules roving about with great chests on their backs. This gave them the alarm; they drew their sabres, and went to the door, which opened on their Captain’s saying: “Open, Sesame!” Cassim, who had heard the trampling of their horses’ feet, resolved to sell his life dearly, so when the door opened he leaped out and threw the Captain down. In vain, however, for the robbers with their sabres soon killed him. On entering the cave they saw all the bags laid ready, and could not imagine how anyone had got in without knowing their secret. They cut Cassim’s body into four quarters, and nailed them up inside the cave, in order to frighten anyone who should venture in, and went away in search of more treasure.
As night drew on Cassim’s wife grew very uneasy, and ran to her brother-in-law, and told him where her husband had gone. Ali Baba did his best to comfort her, and set out to the forest in search of Cassim. The first thing he saw on entering the cave was his dead brother. Full of horror, he put the body on one of his asses, and bags of gold on the other two, and, covering all with some fagots, returned home. He drove the two asses laden with gold into his own yard, and led the other to Cassim’s house. The door was opened by the slave Morgiana, whom he knew to be both brave and cunning. Unloading the ass, he said to her: “This is the body of your master, who has been murdered, but whom we must bury as though he had died in his bed. I will speak with you again, but now tell your mistress I am come.” The wife of Cassim, on learning the fate of her husband, broke out into cries and tears, but Ali Baba offered to take her to live with him and his wife if she would promise to keep his counsel and leave everything to Morgiana; whereupon she agreed, and dried her eyes.
Morgiana, meanwhile, sought an apothecary and asked him for some lozenges. “My poor master,” she said, “can neither eat nor speak, and no one knows what his distemper is.” She carried home the lozenges and returned next day weeping, and asked for an essence only given to those just about to die. Thus, in the evening, no one was surprised to hear the wretched shrieks and cries of Cassim’s wife and Morgiana, telling everyone that Cassim was dead. The day after Morgiana went to an old cobbler near the gates of the town who opened his stall early, put a piece of gold in his hand, and bade him follow her with his needle and thread. Having bound his eyes with a handkerchief, she took him to the room where the body lay, pulled off the bandage, and bade him sew the quarters together, after which she covered his eyes again and led him home. Then they buried Cassim, and Morgiana his slave followed him to the grave, weeping and tearing her hair, while Cassim’s wife stayed at home uttering lamentable cries. Next day she went to live with Ali Baba, who gave Cassim’s shop to his eldest son.
The Forty Thieves, on their return to the cave, were much astonished to find Cassim’s body gone and some of their money-bags. “We are certainly discovered,” said the Captain, “and shall be undone if we cannot find out who it is that knows our secret. Two men must have known it; we have killed one, we must now find the other. To this end one of you who is bold and artful must go into the city dressed as a traveler, and discover whom we have killed, and whether men talk of the strange manner of his death. If the messenger fails he must lose his life, lest we be betrayed.” One of the thieves started up and offered to do this, and after the rest had highly commended him for his bravery he disguised himself, and happened to enter the town at daybreak, just by Baba Mustapha’s stall. The thief bade him good-day, saying: “Honest man, how can you possibly see to stitch at your age?” “Old as I am,” replied the cobbler, “I have very good eyes, and will you believe me when I tell you that I sewed a dead body together in a place where I had less light than I have now.” The robber was overjoyed at his good fortune, and, giving him a piece of gold, desired to be shown the house where he stitched up the dead body. At first Mustapha refused, saying that he had been blindfolded; but when the robber gave him another piece of gold he began to think he might remember the turnings if blindfolded as before. This means succeeded; the robber partly led him, and was partly guided by him, right in front of Cassim’s house, the door of which the robber marked with a piece of chalk. Then, well pleased, he bade farewell to Baba Mustapha and returned to the forest. By and by Morgiana, going out, saw the mark the robber had made, quickly guessed that some mischief was brewing, and fetching a piece of chalk marked two or three doors on each side, without saying anything to her master or mistress.
The thief, meantime, told his comrades of his discovery. The Captain thanked him, and bade him show him the house he had marked. But when they came to it they saw that five or six of the houses were chalked in the same manner. The guide was so confounded that he knew not what answer to make, and when they returned he was at once beheaded for having failed. Another robber was dispatched, and, having won over Baba Mustapha, marked the house in red chalk; but Morgiana being again too clever for them, the second messenger was put to death also. The Captain now resolved to go himself, but, wiser than the others, he did not mark the house, but looked at it so closely that he could not fail to remember it. He returned, and ordered his men to go into the neighboring villages and buy nineteen mules, and thirty-eight leather jars, all empty except one, which was full of oil. The Captain put one of his men, fully armed, into each, rubbing the outside of the jars with oil from the full vessel. Then the nineteen mules were loaded with thirty-seven robbers in jars, and the jar of oil, and reached the town by dusk. The Captain stopped his mules in front of Ali Baba’s house, and said to Ali Baba, who was sitting outside for coolness: “I have brought some oil from a distance to sell at to-morrow’s market, but it is now so late that I know not where to pass the night, unless you will do me the favor to take me in.” Though Ali Baba had seen the Captain of the robbers in the forest, he did not recognize him in the disguise of an oil merchant. He bade him welcome, opened his gates for the mules to enter, and went to Morgiana to bid her prepare a bed and supper for his guest. He brought the stranger into his hall, and after they had supped went again to speak to Morgiana in the kitchen, while the Capt
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Whirr-r-r, how they fizzed and blazed!
All the Turks jumped so high that their slippers flew above their heads; such a splendid glitter they had never seen before.
Now they could quite well understand that it was the god of the Turks himself who was to marry the princess.
As soon as the young merchant came down again into the wood with his trunk he thought, ‘Now I will just go into the town to see how the show has taken.’
And it was quite natural that he should want to do this.
Oh! what stories the people had to tell!
Each one whom he asked had seen it differently, but they had all found it beautiful.
‘I saw the Turkish god himself,’ said one. ‘He had eyes like glittering stars, and a beard like foaming water.’
‘He flew away in a cloak of fire,’ said another. They were splendid things that he heard, and the next day was to be his wedding day.
Then he went back into the wood to sit in his trunk; but what had become of it? The trunk had been burnt. A spark of the fireworks had set it alight, and the trunk was in ashes. He could no longer fly, and could never reach his bride.
She stood the whole day long on the roof and waited; perhaps she is waiting there still.
But he wandered through the world and told stories; though they are not so merry as the one he told about the matches.
IN a town in Persia there dwelt two brothers, one named Cassim, the other Ali Baba. Cassim was married to a rich wife and lived in plenty, while Ali Baba had to maintain his wife and children by cutting wood in a neighboring forest and selling it in the town. One day, when Ali Baba was in the forest, he saw a troop of men on horseback, coming toward him in a cloud of dust. He was afraid they were robbers, and climbed into a tree for safety. When they came up to him and dismounted, he counted forty of them. They unbridled their horses and tied them to trees. The finest man among them, whom Ali Baba took to be their captain, went a little way among some bushes, and said: “Open, Sesame!”[1] so plainly that Ali Baba heard him. A door opened in the rocks, and having made the troop go in, he followed them, and the door shut again of itself. They stayed some time inside, and Ali Baba, fearing they might come out and catch him, was forced to sit patiently in the tree. At last the door opened again, and the Forty Thieves came out. As the Captain went in last he came out first, and made them all pass by him; he then closed the door, saying: “Shut, Sesame!” Every man bridled his horse and mounted, the Captain put himself at their head, and they returned as they came.
Then Ali Baba climbed down and went to the door concealed among the bushes, and said: “Open, Sesame!” and it flew open. Ali Baba, who expected a dull, dismal place, was greatly surprised to find it large and well lighted, hollowed by the hand of man in the form of a vault, which received the light from an opening in the ceiling. He saw rich bales of merchandise–silk, stuff-brocades, all piled together, and gold and silver in heaps, and money in leather purses. He went in and the door shut behind him. He did not look at the silver, but brought out as many bags of gold as he thought his asses, which were browsing outside, could carry, loaded them with the bags, and hid it all with fagots. Using the words: “Shut, Sesame!” he closed the door and went home.
Then he drove his asses into the yard, shut the gates, carried the money-bags to his wife, and emptied them out before her. He bade her keep the secret, and he would go and bury the gold. “Let me first measure it,” said his wife. “I will go borrow a measure of someone, while you dig the hole.” So she ran to the wife of Cassim and borrowed a measure. Knowing Ali Baba’s poverty, the sister was curious to find out what sort of grain his wife wished to measure, and artfully put some suet at the bottom of the measure. Ali Baba’s wife went home and set the measure on the heap of gold, and filled it and emptied it often, to her great content. She then carried it back to her sister, without noticing that a piece of gold was sticking to it, which Cassim’s wife perceived directly her back was turned. She grew very curious, and said to Cassim when he came home: “Cassim, your brother is richer than you. He does not count his money, he measures it.” He begged her to explain this riddle, which she did by showing him the piece of money and telling him where she found it. Then Cassim grew so envious that he could not sleep, and went to his brother in the morning before sunrise. “Ali Baba,” he said, showing him the gold piece, “you pretend to be poor and yet you measure gold.” By this Ali Baba perceived that through his wife’s folly Cassim and his wife knew their secret, so he confessed all and offered Cassim a share. “That I expect,” said Cassim; “but I must know where to find the treasure, otherwise I will discover all, and you will lose all.” Ali Baba, more out of kindness than fear, told him of the cave, and the very words to use. Cassim left Ali Baba, meaning to be beforehand with him and get the treasure for himself. He rose early next morning, and set out with ten mules loaded with great chests. He soon found the place, and the door in the rock. He said: “Open, Sesame!” and the door opened and shut behind him. He could have feasted his eyes all day on the treasures, but he now hastened to gather together as much of it as possible; but when he was ready to go he could not remember what to say for thinking of his great riches. Instead of “Sesame,” he said: “Open, Barley!” and the door remained fast. He named several different sorts of grain, all but the right one, and the door still stuck fast. He was so frightened at the danger he was in that he had as much forgotten the word as if he had never heard it.
About noon the robbers returned to their cave, and saw Cassim’s mules roving about with great chests on their backs. This gave them the alarm; they drew their sabres, and went to the door, which opened on their Captain’s saying: “Open, Sesame!” Cassim, who had heard the trampling of their horses’ feet, resolved to sell his life dearly, so when the door opened he leaped out and threw the Captain down. In vain, however, for the robbers with their sabres soon killed him. On entering the cave they saw all the bags laid ready, and could not imagine how anyone had got in without knowing their secret. They cut Cassim’s body into four quarters, and nailed them up inside the cave, in order to frighten anyone who should venture in, and went away in search of more treasure.
As night drew on Cassim’s wife grew very uneasy, and ran to her brother-in-law, and told him where her husband had gone. Ali Baba did his best to comfort her, and set out to the forest in search of Cassim. The first thing he saw on entering the cave was his dead brother. Full of horror, he put the body on one of his asses, and bags of gold on the other two, and, covering all with some fagots, returned home. He drove the two asses laden with gold into his own yard, and led the other to Cassim’s house. The door was opened by the slave Morgiana, whom he knew to be both brave and cunning. Unloading the ass, he said to her: “This is the body of your master, who has been murdered, but whom we must bury as though he had died in his bed. I will speak with you again, but now tell your mistress I am come.” The wife of Cassim, on learning the fate of her husband, broke out into cries and tears, but Ali Baba offered to take her to live with him and his wife if she would promise to keep his counsel and leave everything to Morgiana; whereupon she agreed, and dried her eyes.
Morgiana, meanwhile, sought an apothecary and asked him for some lozenges. “My poor master,” she said, “can neither eat nor speak, and no one knows what his distemper is.” She carried home the lozenges and returned next day weeping, and asked for an essence only given to those just about to die. Thus, in the evening, no one was surprised to hear the wretched shrieks and cries of Cassim’s wife and Morgiana, telling everyone that Cassim was dead. The day after Morgiana went to an old cobbler near the gates of the town who opened his stall early, put a piece of gold in his hand, and bade him follow her with his needle and thread. Having bound his eyes with a handkerchief, she took him to the room where the body lay, pulled off the bandage, and bade him sew the quarters together, after which she covered his eyes again and led him home. Then they buried Cassim, and Morgiana his slave followed him to the grave, weeping and tearing her hair, while Cassim’s wife stayed at home uttering lamentable cries. Next day she went to live with Ali Baba, who gave Cassim’s shop to his eldest son.
The Forty Thieves, on their return to the cave, were much astonished to find Cassim’s body gone and some of their money-bags. “We are certainly discovered,” said the Captain, “and shall be undone if we cannot find out who it is that knows our secret. Two men must have known it; we have killed one, we must now find the other. To this end one of you who is bold and artful must go into the city dressed as a traveler, and discover whom we have killed, and whether men talk of the strange manner of his death. If the messenger fails he must lose his life, lest we be betrayed.” One of the thieves started up and offered to do this, and after the rest had highly commended him for his bravery he disguised himself, and happened to enter the town at daybreak, just by Baba Mustapha’s stall. The thief bade him good-day, saying: “Honest man, how can you possibly see to stitch at your age?” “Old as I am,” replied the cobbler, “I have very good eyes, and will you believe me when I tell you that I sewed a dead body together in a place where I had less light than I have now.” The robber was overjoyed at his good fortune, and, giving him a piece of gold, desired to be shown the house where he stitched up the dead body. At first Mustapha refused, saying that he had been blindfolded; but when the robber gave him another piece of gold he began to think he might remember the turnings if blindfolded as before. This means succeeded; the robber partly led him, and was partly guided by him, right in front of Cassim’s house, the door of which the robber marked with a piece of chalk. Then, well pleased, he bade farewell to Baba Mustapha and returned to the forest. By and by Morgiana, going out, saw the mark the robber had made, quickly guessed that some mischief was brewing, and fetching a piece of chalk marked two or three doors on each side, without saying anything to her master or mistress.
The thief, meantime, told his comrades of his discovery. The Captain thanked him, and bade him show him the house he had marked. But when they came to it they saw that five or six of the houses were chalked in the same manner. The guide was so confounded that he knew not what answer to make, and when they returned he was at once beheaded for having failed. Another robber was dispatched, and, having won over Baba Mustapha, marked the house in red chalk; but Morgiana being again too clever for them, the second messenger was put to death also. The Captain now resolved to go himself, but, wiser than the others, he did not mark the house, but looked at it so closely that he could not fail to remember it. He returned, and ordered his men to go into the neighboring villages and buy nineteen mules, and thirty-eight leather jars, all empty except one, which was full of oil. The Captain put one of his men, fully armed, into each, rubbing the outside of the jars with oil from the full vessel. Then the nineteen mules were loaded with thirty-seven robbers in jars, and the jar of oil, and reached the town by dusk. The Captain stopped his mules in front of Ali Baba’s house, and said to Ali Baba, who was sitting outside for coolness: “I have brought some oil from a distance to sell at to-morrow’s market, but it is now so late that I know not where to pass the night, unless you will do me the favor to take me in.” Though Ali Baba had seen the Captain of the robbers in the forest, he did not recognize him in the disguise of an oil merchant. He bade him welcome, opened his gates for the mules to enter, and went to Morgiana to bid her prepare a bed and supper for his guest. He brought the stranger into his hall, and after they had supped went again to speak to Morgiana in the kitchen, while the Captain went into the yard under pretense of seeing after his mules, but really to tell his men what to do. Beginning at the first jar and ending at the last, he said to each man: “As soon as I throw some stones from the window of the chamber where I lie, cut the jars open with your knives and come out, and I will be with you in a trice.” He returned to the house, and Morgiana led him to his chamber. She then told Abdallah, her fellow-slave, to set on the pot to make some broth for her master, who had gone to bed. Meanwhile her lamp went out, and she had no more oil in the house. “Do not be uneasy,” said Abdallah; “go into the yard and take some out of one of those jars.” Morgiana thanked him for his advice, took the oil pot, and went into the yard. When she came to the first jar the robber inside said softly: “Is it time?”
Any other slave but Morgiana, on finding a man in the jar instead of the oil she wanted, would have screamed and made a noise; but she, knowing the danger her master was in, bethought herself of a plan, and answered quietly: “Not yet, but presently.” She went to all the jars, giving the same answer, till she came to the jar of oil. She now saw that her master, thinking to entertain an oil merchant, had let thirty-eight robbers into his house. She filled her oil pot, went back to the kitchen, and, having lit her lamp, went again to the oil jar and filled a large kettle full of oil. When it boiled she went and poured enough oil into every jar to stifle and kill the robber inside. When this brave deed was done she went back to the kitchen, put out the fire and the lamp, and waited to see what would happen.
In a quarter of an hour the Captain of the robbers awoke, got up, and opened the window. As all seemed quiet, he threw down some little pebbles which hit the jars. He listened, and as none of his men seemed to stir he grew uneasy, and went down into the yard. On going to the first jar and saying, “Are you asleep?” he smelt the hot boiled oil, and knew at once that his plot to murder Ali Baba and his household had been discovered. He found all the gang was dead, and, missing the oil out of the last jar, became aware of the manner of their death. He then forced the lock of a door leading into a garden, and climbing over several walls made his escape. Morgiana heard and saw all this, and, rejoicing at her success, went to bed and fell asleep.
At daybreak Ali Baba arose, and, seeing the oil jars still there, asked why the merchant had not gone with his mules. Morgiana bade him look in the first jar and see if there was any oil. Seeing a man, he started back in terror. “Have no fear,” said Morgiana; “the man cannot harm you: he is dead.” Ali Baba, when he had recovered somewhat from his astonishment, asked what had become of the merchant. “Merchant!” said she, “he is no more a merchant than I am!” and she told him the whole story, assuring him that it was a plot of the robbers of the forest, of whom only three were left, and that the white and red chalk marks had something to do with it. Ali Baba at once gave Morgiana her freedom, saying that he owed her his life. They then buried the bodies in Ali Baba’s garden, while the mules were sold in the market by his slaves.
The Captain returned to his lonely cave, which seemed frightful to him without his lost companions, and firmly resolved to avenge them by killing Ali Baba. He dressed himself carefully, and went into the town, where he took lodgings in an inn. In the course of a great many journeys to the forest he carried away many rich stuffs and much fine linen, and set up a shop opposite that of Ali Baba’s son. He called himself Cogia Hassan, and as he was both civil and well dressed he soon made friends with Ali Baba’s son, and through him with Ali Baba, whom he was continually asking to sup with him. Ali Baba, wishing to return his kindness, invited him into his house and received him smiling, thanking him for his kindness to his son. When the merchant was about to take his leave Ali Baba stopped him, saying: “Where are you going, sir, in such haste? Will you not stay and sup with me?” The merchant refused, saying that he had a reason; and, on Ali Baba’s asking him what that was, he replied: “It is, sir, that I can eat no victuals that have any salt in them.” “If that is all,” said Ali Baba, “let me tell you that there shall be no salt in either the meat or the bread that we eat to-night.” He went to give this order to Morgiana, who was much surprised. “Who is this man,” she said, “who eats no salt with his meat?” “He is an honest man, Morgiana,” returned her master; “therefore do as I bid you.” But she could not withstand a desire to see this strange man, so she helped Abdallah to carry up the dishes, and saw in a moment that Cogia Hassan was the robber Captain, and carried a dagger under his garment. “I am not surprised,” she said to herself, “that this wicked man, who intends to kill my master, will eat no salt with him; but I will hinder his plans.”
She sent up the supper by Abdallah, while she made ready for one of the boldest acts that could be thought on. When the dessert had been served, Cogia Hassan was left alone with Ali Baba and his son, whom he thought to make drunk and then to murder them. Morgiana, meanwhile, put on a head-dress like a dancing-girl’s, and clasped a girdle round her waist, from which hung a dagger with a silver hilt, and said to Abdallah: “Take your tabor, and let us go and divert our master and his guest.” Abdallah took his tabor and played before Morgiana until they came to the door, where Abdallah stopped playing and Morgiana made a low courtesy. “Come in, Morgiana,” said Ali Baba, “and let Cogia Hassan see what you can do”; and, turning to Cogia Hassan, he said: “She’s my slave and my housekeeper.” Cogia Hassan was by no means pleased, for he feared that his chance of killing Ali Baba was gone for the present; but he pretended great eagerness to see Morgiana, and Abdallah began to play and Morgiana to dance. After she had performed several dances she drew her dagger and made passes with it, sometimes pointing it at her own breast, sometimes at her master’s, as if it were part of the dance. Suddenly, out of breath, she snatched the tabor from Abdallah with her left hand, and, holding the dagger in her right hand, held out the tabor to her master. Ali Baba and his son put a piece of gold into it, and Cogia Hassan, seeing that she was coming to him, pulled out his purse to make her a present, but while he was putting his hand into it Morgiana plunged the dagger into his heart.
“Unhappy girl!” cried Ali Baba and his son, “what have you done to ruin us?”
“It was to preserve you, master, not to ruin you,” answered Morgiana. “See here,” opening the false merchant’s garment and showing the dagger; “see what an enemy you have entertained! Remember, he would eat no salt with you, and what more would you have? Look at him! he is both the false oil merchant and the Captain of the Forty Thieves.”
Ali Baba was so grateful to Morgiana for thus saving his life that he offered her to his son in marriage, who readily consented, and a few days after the wedding was celebrated with greatest splendor.
At the end of a year Ali Baba, hearing nothing of the two remaining robbers, judged they were dead, and set out to the cave. The door opened on his saying: “Open Sesame!” He went in, and saw that nobody had been there since the Captain left it. He brought away as much gold as he could carry, and returned to town. He told his son the secret of the cave, which his son handed down in his turn, so the children and grandchildren of Ali Baba were rich to the end of their lives.
ONCE there was a gentleman who married, for his second wife, the proudest and most haughty woman that was ever seen. She had been married before, and already had two daughters who were exactly like her in all things. He had likewise, by his first wife, a young daughter, but of unequalled goodness and sweetness of temper, which she took from her mother, who was the best creature in the world. This sweet little girl missed her mother, who had died, terribly much.
No sooner was the wedding ceremony over, than the new wife began to show herself in her true colors. She could not bear the goodness of the gentleman’s pretty girl, and especially as she made her own daughters appear the more horrid. She made her do the meanest jobs in the house: the girl scoured the dishes and tables, and scrubbed the stepmother’s bathroom, and those of her daughters; she slept in a little attic, upon a wretched straw bed, while her sisters lay upon beds with the softest pillows, in fine rooms, with floors covered with beautiful carpets, and walls on which hung looking-glasses so large that they might see themselves at their full length from head to foot.
The poor girl bore all patiently, and dared not tell her father, who would have been angry with her; for his new wife ruled him entirely. When the little girl had done her work, she used to go into the chimney-corner, and sit down among cinders and ashes, which led her to be called Cinderwench; but the youngest step-daughter, who was not quite so rude and unkind as the eldest, called her Cinderella. However, Cinderella, even though she was dressed in rags, was a hundred times prettier than her sisters, though they were always dressed very richly.
It happened that the King’s son gave a ball, and invited all finest gentlemen and ladies of the city. Our young misses were also invited, for they were always to be seen at fashionable parties. They were truly delighted at this invitation, and wonderfully busy in choosing such gowns, petticoats, and head-clothes as might suit them. This was a new trouble to Cinderella; for it was she who washed and ironed her sisters’ clothes and got all their things ready. Meanwhile, the sisters talked all day long of nothing but what they should wear to the ball.
“For my part,” said the eldest, “I will wear my red velvet suit with French trimming.”
“And I,” said the youngest, “shall have my usual petticoat; but then, to make amends for that, I will put on my gold-flowered gown, and my diamond belt, which is far from being the most ordinary one in the world.”
But in truth, they were still not absolutely sure what would be best to wear to the ball, so they sent for the best fashion designer they could find to advise on their evening dresses, and they had their nails maniqured at Mademoiselle de la Poche.
Cinderella was likewise called up to them for advice, for she had excellent judgement, and advised them always for the best, ind