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Newspaper Publishes Totally Made Up List Of 'Disorders' Associated With Text Messaging

from the credibility? dept

As the anonymous person who submitted this story noted, this appears to be a respectable Australian news publication, presenting a list of totally made up "texting disorders" put together by a "technology researcher" as if they were real and serious issues. The list is almost comical:
  • Textaphrenia: thinking you've heard or felt a new text message vibration when there is no message.
  • Textiety: a feeling of anxiety from not receiving or sending any text messages.
  • Post-traumatic text disorder: injuries related to texting, such as walking into objects by not paying attention to your surroundings.
  • Binge texting: sending massive amounts of texts to build self-esteem among peers.
Those aren't disorders. That's a joke list that someone put together for fun, right?


Reader Comments (rss)

(Flattened / Threaded)

  1.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 8:50am

    Paper needs a paywall to protect us, eh?

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  2.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 8:58am

    The sad part is that these "disorders" would probably wind up accepted in peer review journals and taught to psychologists all around the world.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  3.  
    icon
    zenith (profile), Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 8:58am

    Yes...

    "That's a joke list that someone put together for fun, right?"

    Yes, it is... :)

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  4.  
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    Richard (profile), Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 9:05am

    textaphrenia

    Surely that is where you have two phones and you can't work out which one has received the message.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  5.  
    identicon
    Paulo, Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 9:06am

    Check out the disclamer...

    Check out the disclamer at http://news.smh.com.au/action/displayCopyrightNotice?sourceOrganisation=AAP .

    Tis part "... and gives no warranty, guarantee or other representation about the accuracy of the information ..." says it all! :)

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  6.  
    icon
    Dark Helmet (profile), Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 9:24am

    Re:

    Only if there was a sweet new patented big pharma pill to relieve all of these (or occasionally cause the patient to shoot up his high school).

    Wait for it.....

     

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  7.  
    icon
    ChurchHatesTucker (profile), Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 9:29am

    Re: Yes...

    Good thing you won't find this sort of slip-shod 'reporting' in mainsteam publications.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  8.  
    icon
    jsl4980 (profile), Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 9:38am

    They are real

    I totally suffer from Textaphrenia. I thought I felt my phone vibrate or I swear I heard it ring... the sounds of loneliness...

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  9.  
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    Joel (profile), Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 9:42am

    Re: They are real

    I agree happens to me all the time...

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  10.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 9:42am

    Re: They are real

    I wonder if anyone suffers from texaphobia.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  11.  
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    Dark Helmet (profile), Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 9:43am

    Re: Re: They are real

    Me. I do. Texas scares the shit out of me....

     

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  12.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 9:48am

    Re: Re: They are real

    Or maybe Texitis.

    Or maybe Turrext syndrome. Every time someone sends a text you overreact.

    Texteimers : Where text messages make you forget things because you're too focused on the text messages to pay attention to anything else.

    TextSomia : You can't sleep because you're spending the entire night texting.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  13.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 9:48am

    Re: Re: Re: They are real

    Yee Haw.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  14.  
    identicon
    TheStupidOne, Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 9:53am

    Re: Re: They are real

    Me too ... usually it is just when I'm expecting a text though, and it is never a ring i hear, but something vibrating or I think i feel my phone vibrate. it is especially common while i am driving with the phone in my pocket since i feel vibration from my tires on the road

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  15.  
    icon
    Dark Helmet (profile), Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 9:54am

    Re: Re: Re: They are real

    Textal Tunnel Syndrome: When you get arthritis in your fingers from texting too much

    Ertextial Dysfunction: When you have a problem getting it up despite sexy texts

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  16.  
    icon
    Free Capitalist (profile), Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 10:02am

    Re: Re: They are real

    I don't but I'm very worried about catching about contagious textual apoplectic aphasia.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  17.  
    icon
    The Devil's Coachman (profile), Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 10:02am

    Isn't "respectable Australian news publication" an oxymoron?

    I thought Murdoch owned all media down there by now, thus rendering respectability obsolete.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  18.  
    identicon
    Grey Ferret, Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 10:07am

    Re: Re: Re: Re: They are real

    Textpox: When you fall asleep on your mobile device and the indentations from the keyboard are left on your cheek or forehead.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  19.  
    icon
    loki_racer (profile), Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 10:09am

    Re: Re:

    Txtopida - copyrighted as of......now.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  20.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 10:09am

    Using my lofty position of unemployed-lives-with-parents-guy with a BSc in psychology, I feel that I am 100% qualified to claim expertise in this case.

    I have no doubt that there are people in the world who do get these feelings regarding text messages, but they would almost certainly be an aspect of a larger issue (like depression or whatever). I would be very, very amazed indeed if someone could suffer from "textiety" and not feel any other form of chronic anxiety.

    Same deal with "internet addiction". Can people get addicted to the internet? Sure they can. Is the problem just 100% pure internet with no other associated issues? Hell no. Claiming that "textiety" is an individual disorder by itself is like claiming switching a light on and off seven times before you leave the room is an individual disorder, rather than a symptom of OCD.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  21.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 10:13am

    Re:

    "I would be very, very amazed indeed if someone could suffer from "textiety" and not feel any other form of chronic anxiety."

    What about textession, and not feeling any other form of chronic depression?

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  22.  
    icon
    Dark Helmet (profile), Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 10:14am

    Re:

    "is like claiming switching a light on and off seven times before you leave the room is an individual disorder, rather than a symptom of OCD."

    A ha!

    Obsessive Textpulsive Disorder: when your friends wonder why the fuck you had to send "LOL" five times....

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  23.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 10:15am

    Re: Re:

    Or what about Obsessive Compulsive Textorder.

    or Autextism and not having any other symptoms of autism.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  24.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 10:18am

    Re: Re: Re: They are real

    What about the textonic plague, are you afraid of that?

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  25.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 10:21am

    Re: Re:

    Still seems unlikely. If the person got phone calls and visits from their friends all day, but no texts, would they still be depressed? If not, then it's just regular loneliness.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  26.  
    icon
    Free Capitalist (profile), Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 10:26am

    Re: Re: Re: Re: They are real

    What about the textonic plague, are you afraid of that?


    OMG Yes. That could be really bad. My friends think I'm a textochondriac, but I think they're out to get me.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  27.  
    identicon
    Anon Coward In Texas, Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 10:29am

    Re: Re: Re: They are real

    Dark Helmet, I genuinely enjoy your posts on this site. Some are very insightful and others flat make me laugh.
    Why would you be afraid of Texas? Other than the idiots in Federal Court in East Texas and the idiots in office Down in Austin, Texas is a wonderful place.
    ...Oh wait, then you have the morons in the local police departments, and the corruption in the local governments...
    Darn it...I think I may need to move!

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  28.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 10:32am

    Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: They are real

    "but I think they're out to get me."

    Texanoya : Where you're paranoid that the next text will be bad news?

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  29.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 10:33am

    Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: They are real

    Texanoia *

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  30.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 10:38am

    Collusion

    "RIAA labels don't work collaboratively"

    Sure they do its called collusion.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  31.  
    icon
    R. Miles (profile), Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 10:46am

    What the...

    LOL fny read no prob here i dont fit any you ok? txtme.

    Sorry, I couldn't resist. Still, the list has to be a joke, because they forgot a very important one:
    Texthole - someone who texts while driving, eating, walking, or other events where paying attention and/or respecting others isn't performed.

    Texthole, for the record, is now copyright. Pay me. ;)

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  32.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 10:47am

    Who wouldn't want to be the first to label new technology-caused disorders? Its this guys claim to fame and he's actually got a good chance on being the first to "discover" them (note discovery does not mean prove).

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  33.  
    icon
    Dark Helmet (profile), Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 10:48am

    Re: Re: Re: Re: They are real

    Stark realization FTW!

    I actually like most of Texas. I was just going for a pun. Austin is one of my favorite towns, because of the live music. I spent time in Dallas and poked around some of the famous JFK sites and that was pretty awesome too...

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  34.  
    identicon
    Grey Ferret, Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 10:51am

    And another...

    Narcitextism: An obsession with finding texting as the underlying cause for behaviors and/or conditions.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  35.  
    icon
    Ariel (profile), Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 10:51am

    Is it April 1 already? Gosh... where did 2010 go?

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  36.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 11:16am

    Re: What the...

    Lolz! Did you get my text? It said 'lolz!'.

    I'll call you later to make sure you got it.

    Love, the Textiopath.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  37.  
    icon
    TtfnJohn (profile), Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 11:35am

    You gotta be kidding!

    Well, I thought so till I saw the University cited is in Melbourne the very Australian State that wants so much to put up a firewall around the entire Internet and isolate the land down under almost as effectively as the Great Firewall of China does.

    NOW it makes sense!

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  38.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 11:42am

    Ah, so this is why newspapers want to put up paywalls: to hide these embarrassing stories.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  39.  
    icon
    Nastybutler77 (profile), Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 12:04pm

    Needed to use a SarcMarc

    I guess Mike's sarcasm meter is on the fritz. The article was clearly meant as humor.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  40.  
    icon
    Pitabred (profile), Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 12:34pm

    Illiteracy

    The thing that scares me is that the person who wrote it didn't even bother to check a dictionary for a definition:

    "Binge texting: sending massive amounts of texts to build self-esteem among peers."

    If you're building something among peers, it would be just plain esteem, not self-esteem. Self-esteem is how you feel about... wait for it... yourself! So you can't build it "among peers".

    It makes me sad that so many people who have no business writing do so much of it.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  41.  
    icon
    Travis Miller (profile), Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 1:53pm

    Re: textaphrenia

    Please stop. Schizophrenia is NOT dissociative identity disorder. It involves hallucinations and delusions, NOT the switching between two or more self-entities.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  42.  
    icon
    opit (profile), Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 3:16pm

    TM

    The way you're going on you'd think the topic was 'text massaging.' Where's the rating for 'whimsical' to cover daffynitions and punnery ?

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  43.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 6:38pm

    Yes, Mike, it was a joke. Even large, respectable newspapers here sometimes publish satirical or whimsical content.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  44.  
    icon
    Nick Coghlan (profile), Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 8:15pm

    Re: Isn't "respectable Australian news publication" an oxymoron?

    The mainstream newspapers that aren't controlled by News Ltd are controlled by Fairfax instead, so yeah, pretty much anything published via newspaper down here needs to be taken with a fairly large grain of salt.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  45.  
    identicon
    Tamara, Jul 3rd, 2010 @ 4:57am

    Read the part where it said "News Ltd newspapers reported". Fairfax, which is a respectable news organisation didn't make this list up. News Ltd, which has no credibility whatsoever did.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  46.  
    icon
    Overtkill (profile), Jul 3rd, 2010 @ 7:18am

    Re: Re: Re: They are real

    Texteimers: would be difficulty remembering who to text, or who you texted, or who's texting you... :)

    Turrext Syndrome would benot over overreacting to texts, but replying with random words of curse. :)


    Textophobia: The fear of texting.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  47.  
    icon
    Overtkill (profile), Jul 3rd, 2010 @ 7:25am

    Re: Re: Re: Re: They are real

    Agoratextphobia: The fear of strange people texting you.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  48.  
    identicon
    Michael, Jul 6th, 2010 @ 4:46am

    Re: Illiteracy

    He may have meant "piers" and been talking about feeling good about yourself while standing on a wooden jetty over water - which is where he should have been while involved in taking a long walk.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]


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