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1.  

   

   Anonymous Coward, Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 8:50am

   
   

   Paper needs a paywall to protect us, eh?

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2.  

   

   Anonymous Coward, Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 8:58am

   
   

   The sad part is that these "disorders" would probably wind up accepted in peer review journals and taught to psychologists all around the world.

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3.  

   Yes...

   

   zenith (profile), Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 8:58am

   
   

   "That's a joke list that someone put together for fun, right?"
   
   Yes, it is... :)

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4.  

   textaphrenia

   

   Richard (profile), Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 9:05am

   
   

   Surely that is where you have two phones and you can't work out which one has received the message.

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5.  

   Check out the disclamer...

   

   Paulo, Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 9:06am

   
   

   Check out the disclamer at http://news.smh.com.au/action/displayCopyrightNotice?sourceOrganisation=AAP .
   
   Tis part "... and gives no warranty, guarantee or other representation about the accuracy of the information ..." says it all! :)

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6.  

   Re:

   

   Dark Helmet (profile), Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 9:24am

   
   

   Only if there was a sweet new patented big pharma pill to relieve all of these (or occasionally cause the patient to shoot up his high school).
   
   Wait for it.....

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7.  

   Re: Yes...

   

   ChurchHatesTucker (profile), Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 9:29am

   
   

   Good thing you won't find this sort of slip-shod 'reporting' in mainsteam publications.

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8.  

   They are real

   

   jsl4980 (profile), Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 9:38am

   
   

   I totally suffer from Textaphrenia. I thought I felt my phone vibrate or I swear I heard it ring... the sounds of loneliness...

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9.  

   Re: They are real

   

   Joel (profile), Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 9:42am

   
   

   I agree happens to me all the time...

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10.  

    Re: They are real

    

    Anonymous Coward, Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 9:42am

    
    

    I wonder if anyone suffers from texaphobia.

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11.  

    Re: Re: They are real

    

    Dark Helmet (profile), Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 9:43am

    
    

    Me. I do. Texas scares the shit out of me....

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12.  

    Re: Re: They are real

    

    Anonymous Coward, Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 9:48am

    
    

    Or maybe Texitis.
    
    Or maybe Turrext syndrome. Every time someone sends a text you overreact.
    
    Texteimers : Where text messages make you forget things because you're too focused on the text messages to pay attention to anything else.
    
    TextSomia : You can't sleep because you're spending the entire night texting.

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13.  

    Re: Re: Re: They are real

    

    Anonymous Coward, Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 9:48am

    
    

    Yee Haw.

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14.  

    Re: Re: They are real

    

    TheStupidOne, Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 9:53am

    
    

    Me too ... usually it is just when I'm expecting a text though, and it is never a ring i hear, but something vibrating or I think i feel my phone vibrate. it is especially common while i am driving with the phone in my pocket since i feel vibration from my tires on the road

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15.  

    Re: Re: Re: They are real

    

    Dark Helmet (profile), Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 9:54am

    
    

    Textal Tunnel Syndrome: When you get arthritis in your fingers from texting too much
    
    Ertextial Dysfunction: When you have a problem getting it up despite sexy texts

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16.  

    Re: Re: They are real

    

    Free Capitalist (profile), Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 10:02am

    
    

    I don't but I'm very worried about catching about contagious textual apoplectic aphasia.

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17.  

    Isn't "respectable Australian news publication" an oxymoron?

    

    The Devil's Coachman (profile), Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 10:02am

    
    

    I thought Murdoch owned all media down there by now, thus rendering respectability obsolete.

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18.  

    Re: Re: Re: Re: They are real

    

    Grey Ferret, Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 10:07am

    
    

    Textpox: When you fall asleep on your mobile device and the indentations from the keyboard are left on your cheek or forehead.

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19.  

    Re: Re:

    

    loki_racer (profile), Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 10:09am

    
    

    Txtopida - copyrighted as of......now.

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20.  

    

    Anonymous Coward, Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 10:09am

    
    

    Using my lofty position of unemployed-lives-with-parents-guy with a BSc in psychology, I feel that I am 100% qualified to claim expertise in this case.
    
    I have no doubt that there are people in the world who do get these feelings regarding text messages, but they would almost certainly be an aspect of a larger issue (like depression or whatever). I would be very, very amazed indeed if someone could suffer from "textiety" and not feel any other form of chronic anxiety.
    
    Same deal with "internet addiction". Can people get addicted to the internet? Sure they can. Is the problem just 100% pure internet with no other associated issues? Hell no. Claiming that "textiety" is an individual disorder by itself is like claiming switching a light on and off seven times before you leave the room is an individual disorder, rather than a symptom of OCD.

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21.  

    Re:

    

    Anonymous Coward, Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 10:13am

    
    

    "I would be very, very amazed indeed if someone could suffer from "textiety" and not feel any other form of chronic anxiety."
    
    What about textession, and not feeling any other form of chronic depression?

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22.  

    Re:

    

    Dark Helmet (profile), Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 10:14am

    
    

    "is like claiming switching a light on and off seven times before you leave the room is an individual disorder, rather than a symptom of OCD."
    
    A ha!
    
    Obsessive Textpulsive Disorder: when your friends wonder why the fuck you had to send "LOL" five times....

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23.  

    Re: Re:

    

    Anonymous Coward, Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 10:15am

    
    

    Or what about Obsessive Compulsive Textorder.
    
    or Autextism and not having any other symptoms of autism.

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24.  

    Re: Re: Re: They are real

    

    Anonymous Coward, Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 10:18am

    
    

    What about the textonic plague, are you afraid of that?

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25.  

    Re: Re:

    

    Anonymous Coward, Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 10:21am

    
    

    Still seems unlikely. If the person got phone calls and visits from their friends all day, but no texts, would they still be depressed? If not, then it's just regular loneliness.

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26.  

    Re: Re: Re: Re: They are real

    

    Free Capitalist (profile), Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 10:26am

    
    

    What about the textonic plague, are you afraid of that?

    
    
    OMG Yes. That could be really bad. My friends think I'm a textochondriac, but I think they're out to get me.

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27.  

    Re: Re: Re: They are real

    

    Anon Coward In Texas, Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 10:29am

    
    

    Dark Helmet, I genuinely enjoy your posts on this site. Some are very insightful and others flat make me laugh.
    Why would you be afraid of Texas? Other than the idiots in Federal Court in East Texas and the idiots in office Down in Austin, Texas is a wonderful place.
    ...Oh wait, then you have the morons in the local police departments, and the corruption in the local governments...
    Darn it...I think I may need to move!

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28.  

    Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: They are real

    

    Anonymous Coward, Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 10:32am

    
    

    "but I think they're out to get me."
    
    Texanoya : Where you're paranoid that the next text will be bad news?

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29.  

    Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: They are real

    

    Anonymous Coward, Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 10:33am

    
    

    Texanoia *

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30.  

    Collusion

    

    Anonymous Coward, Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 10:38am

    
    

    "RIAA labels don't work collaboratively"
    
    Sure they do its called collusion.

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31.  

    What the...

    

    R. Miles (profile), Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 10:46am

    
    

    LOL fny read no prob here i dont fit any you ok? txtme.
    
    Sorry, I couldn't resist. Still, the list has to be a joke, because they forgot a very important one:
    Texthole - someone who texts while driving, eating, walking, or other events where paying attention and/or respecting others isn't performed.
    
    Texthole, for the record, is now copyright. Pay me. ;)

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32.  

    

    Anonymous Coward, Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 10:47am

    
    

    Who wouldn't want to be the first to label new technology-caused disorders? Its this guys claim to fame and he's actually got a good chance on being the first to "discover" them (note discovery does not mean prove).

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33.  

    Re: Re: Re: Re: They are real

    

    Dark Helmet (profile), Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 10:48am

    
    

    Stark realization FTW!
    
    I actually like most of Texas. I was just going for a pun. Austin is one of my favorite towns, because of the live music. I spent time in Dallas and poked around some of the famous JFK sites and that was pretty awesome too...

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34.  

    And another...

    

    Grey Ferret, Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 10:51am

    
    

    Narcitextism: An obsession with finding texting as the underlying cause for behaviors and/or conditions.

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35.  

    

    Ariel, Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 10:51am

    
    

    Is it April 1 already? Gosh... where did 2010 go?

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36.  

    Re: What the...

    

    Anonymous Coward, Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 11:16am

    
    

    Lolz! Did you get my text? It said 'lolz!'.
    
    I'll call you later to make sure you got it.
    
    Love, the Textiopath.

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37.  

    You gotta be kidding!

    

    TtfnJohn (profile), Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 11:35am

    
    

    Well, I thought so till I saw the University cited is in Melbourne the very Australian State that wants so much to put up a firewall around the entire Internet and isolate the land down under almost as effectively as the Great Firewall of China does.
    
    NOW it makes sense!

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38.  

    

    Anonymous Coward, Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 11:42am

    
    

    Ah, so this is why newspapers want to put up paywalls: to hide these embarrassing stories.

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39.  

    Needed to use a SarcMarc

    

    Nastybutler77 (profile), Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 12:04pm

    
    

    I guess Mike's sarcasm meter is on the fritz. The article was clearly meant as humor.

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40.  

    Illiteracy

    

    Pitabred (profile), Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 12:34pm

    
    

    The thing that scares me is that the person who wrote it didn't even bother to check a dictionary for a definition:
    
    "Binge texting: sending massive amounts of texts to build self-esteem among peers."
    
    If you're building something among peers, it would be just plain esteem, not self-esteem. Self-esteem is how you feel about... wait for it... yourself! So you can't build it "among peers".
    
    It makes me sad that so many people who have no business writing do so much of it.

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41.  

    Re: textaphrenia

    

    Travis Miller (profile), Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 1:53pm

    
    

    Please stop. Schizophrenia is NOT dissociative identity disorder. It involves hallucinations and delusions, NOT the switching between two or more self-entities.

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42.  

    TM

    

    opit (profile), Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 3:16pm

    
    

    The way you're going on you'd think the topic was 'text massaging.' Where's the rating for 'whimsical' to cover daffynitions and punnery ?

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43.  

    

    Anonymous Coward, Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 6:38pm

    
    

    Yes, Mike, it was a joke. Even large, respectable newspapers here sometimes publish satirical or whimsical content.

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44.  

    Re: Isn't "respectable Australian news publication" an oxymoron?

    

    Nick Coghlan (profile), Jul 2nd, 2010 @ 8:15pm

    
    

    The mainstream newspapers that aren't controlled by News Ltd are controlled by Fairfax instead, so yeah, pretty much anything published via newspaper down here needs to be taken with a fairly large grain of salt.

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45.  

    

    Tamara, Jul 3rd, 2010 @ 4:57am

    
    

    Read the part where it said "News Ltd newspapers reported". Fairfax, which is a respectable news organisation didn't make this list up. News Ltd, which has no credibility whatsoever did.

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46.  

    Re: Re: Re: They are real

    

    Overtkill (profile), Jul 3rd, 2010 @ 7:18am

    
    

    Texteimers: would be difficulty remembering who to text, or who you texted, or who's texting you... :)
    
    Turrext Syndrome would benot over overreacting to texts, but replying with random words of curse. :)
    
    
    Textophobia: The fear of texting.

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47.  

    Re: Re: Re: Re: They are real

    

    Overtkill (profile), Jul 3rd, 2010 @ 7:25am

    
    

    Agoratextphobia: The fear of strange people texting you.

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48.  

    Re: Illiteracy

    

    Michael, Jul 6th, 2010 @ 4:46am

    
    

    He may have meant "piers" and been talking about feeling good about yourself while standing on a wooden jetty over water - which is where he should have been while involved in taking a long walk.

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