Apparently Pretending You Work For The NSA May Scare Off Potential Muggers

from the warning:-do-not-try-this-at-home dept

Via TechFreedom we learn the story of a quick-on-her-feet mugging victim, who told a would-be mugger who demanded her money and phone that she was an intern for the NSA. This allowed her to make two claims: (1) as an intern, she had no money and (2) as an NSA employee, they would be tracking the location of her phone "complete with a pink-and-blue Lilly Pulitzer case." Apparently, it worked:
"I told him that the NSA could track the phone within minutes, and it could cause possible problems for him," the victim recounted.

The NSA has been in the spotlight this year due to controversial and far-reaching intelligence-gathering programs it had kept hidden from public knowledge.

Perhaps wary of just how far the NSA would go to keep its assets safe, the assailant just "looked at me and ran away," the victim said.
I once heard a story (possibly apocryphal) of someone who knew someone who lived in a neighborhood known for semi-frequent muggings. He once got mugged, and immediately responded by just yelling "the refrigerators are coming! the refrigerators are coming!" and it apparently confused/frightened the mugger enough to send him running off as well. This is not to say that either of these techniques are recommended. While it's likely that jittery muggers may simply cut bait and run when faced with anything that leads to confusion or questioning, it is also possible that such actions could lead to a very different kind of attack as well. Still, at least in this instance, there's apparently a story of how the news about the NSA may have actually helped someone.


Reader Comments (rss)

(Flattened / Threaded)

  1.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Anonymous Coward, Oct 15th, 2013 @ 1:10pm

    First (not post)

    Is this a first? The NSA actually did something? Can anyone tell us of ANYTHING the NSA actually did well?

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  2.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Oct 15th, 2013 @ 1:25pm

    Oh, wow. The NSA really does protect the public or at least it's name does.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  3.  
    icon
    ChurchHatesTucker (profile), Oct 15th, 2013 @ 1:50pm

    Give them credit

    At least they didn't recruit the mugger.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  4.  
    identicon
    JakeT, Oct 15th, 2013 @ 1:52pm

    So it is true

    So it is true, criminals don't rob from other criminals...

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  5. This comment has been flagged by the community. Click here to show it
     
    identicon
    out_of_the_blue, Oct 15th, 2013 @ 1:57pm

    "cut bait and run" ????? -- What the HELL does that mean?

    Did you intend: "cut bait or fish"? (That means decide on a role, or let someone else take over.) Or "cut (mooring) lines and run"? (A piratey saying meaning the real Navy is in sight, better skedaddle before get hung.) -- Those are only two even close that I can come up with! It's obvious that you have no practical experience behind attempts at folksy sayings, or you wouldn't even be able to mangle them, it's SO jarring -- and humorous... Deja vu day all over again with several fake "out_of_the_blue" posts, and Malaprop Mike!

    Now, my take on the piece... Well, well. Mike worked out a way to make NSA into a positive.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  6.  
    icon
    Zeissmann (profile), Oct 15th, 2013 @ 2:19pm

    I was a * for the *

    There was a film-noir "I was a Communist for the FBI", and there was also a sci-fi comedy "I was a Zombie for the FBI". I guess along with "I was an Intern for the NSA" they would form a neat trilogy, wouldn't you say?

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  7.  
    identicon
    charlie whitman, Oct 15th, 2013 @ 2:31pm

    Happened to me recently

    This similar thing happened to me recently. I didn't pretend I worked for the NSA. I pulled out my gun, and the person ran away. Similar solution to same problem.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  8.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Oct 15th, 2013 @ 5:00pm

    Re: Happened to me recently

    Glad your gun protected you!
    Two thugs tried to rob my brother at gunpoint, after being shot he pulled out his glock and shot back hitting both. The two thugs are now serving 20 years each and my bro is alive and doing well.

    Not sure what this has to do with the NSA but it is a good example of how one can actually protect themselves when lies fail to scare the thug.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  9.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Oct 15th, 2013 @ 6:18pm

    dude, if i ever saw a refrigerator coming down the street i'd be scared shitless.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  10.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Oct 15th, 2013 @ 6:26pm

    Re: "cut bait and run" ????? -- What the HELL does that mean?

    or mike found another way to put NSA in a heading !!!

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  11.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Oct 15th, 2013 @ 6:30pm

    Re: "cut bait and run" ????? -- What the HELL does that mean?

    It's like Deja vu all over again, a sensation I have not previously had before !!!

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  12.  
    identicon
    athe, Oct 15th, 2013 @ 7:03pm

    Now watch her get taken off in the black vans and never heard from again for impersonating an NSA agent...

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  13.  
    icon
    Mark Harris (profile), Oct 15th, 2013 @ 7:09pm

    What's more interesting..

    ...is that the linked article mentions that 70% of the intelligence community is on furlough, because they're non-essential.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  14.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Oct 15th, 2013 @ 9:18pm

    Re: Re: "cut bait and run" ????? -- What the HELL does that mean?

    You're really not in any position to criticize anyone's level of English, darryl.

    How's that [sic] EFFECIENT solar panel coming along?

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  15.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Oct 15th, 2013 @ 10:47pm

    Tomorrow's headline.
    Woman charged with impersonating a special agent.

    The day after.
    Woman charged with impersonating a special agent commits suicide by shooting herself in the head 42 times.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  16.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Oct 15th, 2013 @ 11:40pm

    Re: Re: Re: "cut bait and run" ????? -- What the HELL does that mean?

    wow you a troubled person, odd that I did not write that, but a trivial point like that never stopped you before.

    Don't worry one day you might achieve something ! (or not).

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  17. This comment has been flagged by the community. Click here to show it
     
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Oct 15th, 2013 @ 11:48pm

    there's apparently a story of how the news about the NSA may have actually helped someone.

    It's certainly helped you Mr Masnick, it appears you have discovered a nice cash cow to milk CONSTANTLY!!!

    We are wondering when you are going to change the name of TechDirt from TD to "Government and NSA Hate place" or something to that effect.

    Or "How many ways can I wind NSA into EVERY SINGLE STORY", and build on the natural paranoia of your loyal few readers ?

    Quite a money spinner this NSA thing is for you !!!

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  18.  
    icon
    btrussell (profile), Oct 16th, 2013 @ 3:36am

    Re: Re: Happened to me recently

    All three of those guns should be thrown away as they are useless for their intended purpose. I mean come on, a minimum of three guns pulled and no one is dead? WTF?

    Guns kill
    /s

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  19.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Oct 16th, 2013 @ 11:35pm

    Re: Re: Re: Re: "cut bait and run" ????? -- What the HELL does that mean?

    "In our labs (here in Australia) where I worked, we developed THE MOST EFFECIENT photovoltaic cell (solar panel for you), IN THE WORLD. INCLUDING THE US.."

    Quoted from here.

    So not only are you horrible at logic, you're also horrible at lying, horrible at remembering that you lied, and insistent on using lying to make your point.

    You're a dirtbag.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  20.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Oct 17th, 2013 @ 1:01am

    Re: Re: Re: Re: "cut bait and run" ????? -- What the HELL does that mean?

    Right here, letter for letter.

    You are such a fucktard, you can't even lie right when you have to rely on it to make a point.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]


Add Your Comment

Have a Techdirt Account? Sign in now. Want one? Register here
Get Techdirt’s Daily Email
Save me a cookie
  • Note: A CRLF will be replaced by a break tag (<br>), all other allowable HTML will remain intact
  • Allowed HTML Tags: <b> <i> <a> <em> <br> <strong> <blockquote> <hr> <tt>
Follow Techdirt
A word from our sponsors...
Essential Reading
Techdirt Reading List
Techdirt Insider Chat
A word from our sponsors...
Recent Stories
A word from our sponsors...

Close

Email This