Fruit, Yogurt, & The Other Benefits Of Being A Paid Porn Identifier In China

from the fapping-on-the-job dept

As someone who looks to humor to get through news items I don't like, it's been difficult to find much laughter in China's use of it's so-called "Great Firewall". Censorship being as awful as it is, the resulting stories about it tend to be sober attempts by American companies to nudge the country towards the right side of history, or the hypocrisy of those committing the censorship. It's difficult to find much humor there.

But then, as it always seems to happen, those committing the bad acts come to the rescue. Censorship via automation can only go so far, after all, a fact which gives us what is quite possibly the greatest open job listing of all time. The listing identifies the role to be filled as the "Chief Pornographic Identification Officer" for the "League of Security."

Job Title: Chief Pornographic Identification Officer
Work Location: Beijing
Compensation: 200,000 RMB (US$32,300) yearly
Job Description: Rapid Determination of Adult Sites
Requirements:
1)   Must be familiar with the standard of adult content from around the world
2)   Must be familiar with China’s law standards regarding adult content, familiar with documented regulations
3)   Must be familiar with the standards for adult content on China’s internet and it’s service providers
4)   Regardless of gender, must be college graduate from 25-35 years old
5)   Must have a strong sense of responsibility and work well in a team
Read it, learn it, love it: the Chinese want to pay someone $32k a year to surf for porn on the internet and have the greatest job title in the history of labor. Even better are the benefits, which include full insurance, communication expenses, daily fruit and yogurt, and bonuses on birthdays and weddings. That last one immediately poses the question of who could possibly have time for love with all that porn to be surfed? Regardless, interest in the job post has been...severe.
The security company who put this job advert out, Anquan Lianmeng (League of Security) said that they received thousands of applications within two days of posting. Many of which had come in from outside of the country. It’s no surprise considering the description.
Shocking indeed. Or China could, you know, just pocket their $32k and all that yogurt and start treating their citizens like adults.



Reader Comments (rss)

(Flattened / Threaded)

  •  
    icon
    Ninja (profile), Apr 24th, 2013 @ 4:25am

    Getting paid to watch porn. Challenge accepted!

    Or China could, you know, just pocket their $32k and all that yogurt and start treating their citizens like adults.

    Nah, just switch off the Internet. You can't block all porn of something that was made primarily to share porn.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  •  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Apr 24th, 2013 @ 5:49am

    Must be a college graduate and between 25 and 35 years old why exactly?

    You mean middle age and old people can't recognize porn anymore?!?

    And you need to be a college graduate to recognize porn for what it is? Really?!?

    Well, if I had known that I wouldn't have bothered to go to college, being able to recognize and find porn just fine in my teenage years from my bedroom computer!

    And if I won't be able to recognize porn for being porn then I had better get LOTS of porn watching and sex in before I turn 36. It must suck to be 36 or older and not able to look at porn or have sex anymore because your brain is too old to recognize that stuff.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    •  
      identicon
      Anonymous Coward, Apr 24th, 2013 @ 8:36am

      Re:

      I dunno, tastes change as you get older and what once was considered porn at one point in one's life may not be at another.

      For example, as a young adult, porn was boobies (yay!) and the downstairs lady parts. Now as I get older, I need more... like midgets or a naked clown to get me going.

       

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  •  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Apr 24th, 2013 @ 6:28am

    Porn aside...

    Am I the only one that thinks "League of Security" is one of the best names ever for a government agency?

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  •  
    icon
    Machin Shin (profile), Apr 24th, 2013 @ 6:39am

    As if I needed anything else to convince me I need a new job, I find that China pays people more to surf porn than I get paid to maintain computers for my current company. This is just depressing.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  •  
    identicon
    Anonymous Anonymous Coward, Apr 24th, 2013 @ 6:56am

    Tim's Replacement

    I am just wondering whom is going to replace THIS Tim (not the other Tim) when he accepts the position? Or are both Tim's competing for the position.

    Aw, come on, you KNOW they applied!

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  •  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Apr 24th, 2013 @ 6:58am

    And this is the standard of "China-level" censorship that Chris Dodd - the great hero of average_joe and out_of_the_lube - is cheering on.

    I suppose it would open up job opportunities but I can't see Lightspeed Media being too happy about what China's doing.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  •  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Apr 24th, 2013 @ 7:05am

    It's a trick!

    At that job $32k a year will barely cover the cost of tissues...

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  •  
    icon
    richard (profile), Apr 24th, 2013 @ 7:29am

    hmmm...

    They don't tell you a couple very important facts we needs to know...

    1. Do we get our own private office with no windows and locks on the door??
    2. Do the keyboards come with plastic spill stoppers? if so how many are we allowed in a day?

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  •  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Apr 24th, 2013 @ 7:31am

    You are all thinking on best case scenario, but you overlook the worst case scenario.

    Worst case scenario is that you'll be looking at goatse-grade "porn" all day, every day.

    $32K is not enough. *shudders*

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    •  
      identicon
      Anonymous Coward, Apr 24th, 2013 @ 8:03am

      Re:

      Thats where my new invention comes in.

      We hook you up to a brain scanner, blast dozens of images at your eyes each second.
      When you shudder the site is automatically blocked.

       

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    •  
      identicon
      Anonymous Coward, Apr 24th, 2013 @ 8:04am

      Re:

      Bad dreams allround - please no more!

       

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

      •  
        icon
        Ninja (profile), Apr 24th, 2013 @ 9:50am

        Re: Re:

        I second that. Although if it exists it's because there's demand for it.

         

        reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

        •  
          identicon
          Anonymous Coward, Apr 24th, 2013 @ 9:58am

          Re: Re: Re:

          Well, you know the motto of the porn industry: Find a niche and fill it.

          Tough, if I remember correctly*, goatse was more about opening a niche, rather than fill it.



          * I don't want to remember correctly

           

          reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  •  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Apr 24th, 2013 @ 7:45am

    Can someone please tell me where I can apply for this job!?

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  •  
    identicon
    Kiaser Zohsay, Apr 24th, 2013 @ 9:17am

    2) Must be familiar with China’s law standards regarding adult content, familiar with documented regulations

    Does that mean there are undocumented regulations as well?

    kz

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  •  
    identicon
    nubwaxer, Apr 24th, 2013 @ 10:00am

    porn

    i pity the poor censors because unless they have a mental defect they would become bored and burnt out after watching porn all day. 5 minutes is my limit, then i get kind of disgusted by the gross anatomy lessons.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  •  
    icon
    beltorak (profile), Apr 24th, 2013 @ 10:05pm

    do as i say, not as i do (?)

    Or China could, you know, just pocket their $32k and all that yogurt and start treating their citizens like adults.


    they can't do that; they might actually have to start acting like adults. from what i hear they don't take too kindly to criticism.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]


Add Your Comment

Have a Techdirt Account? Sign in now. Want one? Register here
Get Techdirt’s Daily Email
Save me a cookie
  • Note: A CRLF will be replaced by a break tag (<br>), all other allowable HTML will remain intact
  • Allowed HTML Tags: <b> <i> <a> <em> <br> <strong> <blockquote> <hr> <tt>
Follow Techdirt
A word from our sponsors...
Essential Reading
Techdirt Reading List
Techdirt Insider Chat
A word from our sponsors...
Recent Stories
A word from our sponsors...

Close

Email This