What I Learned About My Own Daily Life From The Latest North Korean Propaganda Video

from the pigeons-are-delicious dept

Update: As pointed out in the comments... this is a hoax. The video is real, but the translation is made up for the sake of comedy value. Considering that Monday is April Fool's Day, where a bunch of people are going to be trying to fool others, let's just consider this a "lesson learned" and hope that we're not repeating this message again on April Fool's posts... Original post below...

I find myself in the peculiar position of having to congratulate one of my old nemeses in writing for Techdirt, North Korea. I would have thought, after having described their previous attempts at producing propaganda videos, one of which included Elder Scrolls music and the other Call Of Duty footage, that they had exhausted the human limits for laugh-inducing hilarity. As it turns out, if I'm to believe the translator of the following video, these were merely warm up acts for the true star of North Korean humor, which details daily life in America.


Now, should a mere YouTube video reach the limits of your workplace's filtering device, or that of your country, allow me to present to you some of the things I learned about my own life thanks to this wonderfully produced video.

1. All of America is covered in snow, which is a good thing because apparently all American coffee is somehow made from snow.

2. Americans, by and large, live in tents and spend all of our money buying guns to kill children.

3. There are no longer birds in America, because they have all been eaten by the gun-toting tent-dwellers.

4. It is common in modern-day America for our tents to have caved in roofs (?), but we are still proud of our tents, as well as our Green Bay Packers Starter jackets.

5. Before we stray away from our tents, note that all of them are built with supplies donated to us by North Korea.

6. Before we stray away from our propensity to eat birds, note that the most common day for the eating of birds is Tuesday.

7. Homeless people, in general, are former Republican candidates from Oregon.

8. America is very grateful to our government for the 1 cup of snow-coffee handout we all receive daily, after which we resume bird-eating and child-killing activities.
Now, should you be of the same mind as I in that you're beginning to wonder why you can't recall all of these moments in your daily life, it is useful to remember that North Korea is a country which has a dead person as its President. This is not an exaggeration. As you can see for yourself, while Kim Jong-un is indeed the country's First Chairman, neither he nor his father ever held the office of President of North Korea. That position was, and to this day is, filled by Jong-un's grandfather, Kim Il-sung, who has been dead for nearly two decades, but holds the office of "Eternal President".

I submit that no amount of pigeon-eating or tent-dwelling can hold a candle the level of crazy required to have a zombie President.



Reader Comments (rss)

(Flattened / Threaded)

  1.  
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    M. Alan Thomas II (profile), Mar 29th, 2013 @ 5:56pm

    Whereas Lieutenant General George Washington of Virginia commanded our armies throughout and to the successful termination of our Revolutionary War; Whereas Lieutenant General George Washington presided over the convention that formulated our Constitution; Whereas Lieutenant General George Washington twice served as President of the United States of America; and Whereas it is considered fitting and proper that no officer of the United States Army should outrank Lieutenant General George Washington on the Army list; Now, therefore, be it
    Resolved by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America in Congress assembled, That

    (a) for purposes of subsection (b) of this section only, the grade of General of the Armies of the United States is established, such grade to have rank and precedence over all other grades of the Army, past or present.

    (b) The President is authorized and requested to appoint George Washington posthumously to the grade of General of the Armies of the United States, such appointment to take effect on July 4, 1976.
    Approved October 11, 1976.
    Public Law 94-479

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  2.  
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    velox (profile), Mar 29th, 2013 @ 7:41pm

    You forgot #9: "The hot snow tastes nice"

     

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  3.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Mar 29th, 2013 @ 7:43pm

    Its kind of sad that the people in this country are subjected to obvious lies.

     

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  4.  
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    ShellMG, Mar 29th, 2013 @ 7:57pm

    Re:

    According to some who were able to visit North Korea as part of a carefully "minded" medical team, the citizens believe it. They believe NK is at war with the US and their personal misery --including eating grass or starving -- is part of a necessary and patriotic war effort.

    Someday the people are going to find out what's been done to them. I pray it's sooner rather than later, and they're going to be very, very angry.

     

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  5.  
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    bigpicture, Mar 29th, 2013 @ 7:58pm

    Snow?

    My coffee is made from snow. The reservoir of the city that I live in is fed by a river that runs out of the Rockies, that is fed by a glacier that is made from snow. The most crystal clear water I have ever seen.

     

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  6.  
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    Alias (profile), Mar 29th, 2013 @ 8:08pm

    Relevancy?

    This article would have been more relevant like two weeks ago when this video was all over the interwebz:

    "Hilarious 'North Korean propaganda' video...

     

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  7.  
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    AB (profile), Mar 29th, 2013 @ 8:36pm

    This... has. to be a parody. Someone started April fools day early. Please let this be a parody. Seriously, if they have access to you tube for watching these then they also have access to other videos and other parts of the internet and must know these aren't real. It's bad enough when a country has to photoshop their equipment, but at least that passed the 'quick glance' test. This is just totally... unbelievable?

     

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  8.  
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    Wally (profile), Mar 29th, 2013 @ 9:10pm

    Lost in translation :-)

    "1. All of America is covered in snow, which is a good thing because apparently all American coffee is somehow made from snow."

    It's not our fault...Punksatony Phil lied to the New England and Midwestern regions...

    "2. Americans, by and large, live in tents and spend all of our money buying guns to kill children. "

    Ah.....hehe...I have many memories of making big sheet tents/fortresses and having Nurf gun wars with my dad and brother :-)


    "3. There are no longer birds in America, because they have all been eaten by the gun-toting tent-dwellers. "

    Apparently none of them ever knew how adicting turkey bacon can get ;-P


    "4. It is common in modern-day America for our tents to have caved in roofs (?), but we are still proud of our tents, as well as our Green Bay Packers Starter jackets. "

    Only when a clothes pin slips out of it's grip on the 2 tents involved.



    I could go on but at this moment I wish to inform you, Tim Geiger is that the region that when combined is known as Korea, there are two different dialects between North and South Korea. North Korea's dialect is primitive by comparison and hasn't changed since the Armistice that ended the Korean War. So whether its translated or not, basically what they are saying to their people is that "We give the Americans our money to keep their finances afloat and because of that we are superior".

     

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  9.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Mar 29th, 2013 @ 9:11pm

    Re:

    I don't know. Talking about North Korea propaganda.
    Do you really think they would jest about us being the new superior race of humans? Able to live on nothing but frozen water and outgrown need for housing?
    I think North Korea is trying to scare their populace and trying to convince themselves they're the new Neanderthals of the world that have to fight to survive against their superiors before they go extinct like the dinosaurs.

     

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  10.  
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    Wally (profile), Mar 29th, 2013 @ 9:44pm

    Re:

    The US Bicentennial :-)

     

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  11.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Mar 29th, 2013 @ 9:53pm

    Re:

    Its probably real. North Korea is pretty inclusive. The Government hopes its citizens don't learn that the outside world isn't as bad as North Korea. Considering they are an island nation its still a bit possible to keep citizens from knowing the outside world.

     

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  12.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Mar 29th, 2013 @ 9:57pm

    Awesome video!!!!! I hope their peasants enjoyed it as much as I did. Hopefully it gets nominated as a Best Foreign Documentary next Academy Awards.

     

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  13.  
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    Wally (profile), Mar 29th, 2013 @ 10:02pm

    Hi, I'd like my snow with a triple shot of espresso.....I prefer a buzz in the morning.

     

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  14.  
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    Drew Farkas (profile), Mar 29th, 2013 @ 10:06pm

    This is a hoax. It was a parody made by Alun Hill. The video is from DPRK, but the voiceover is purely comedy. See this snopes article: http://www.snopes.com/photos/politics/northkorea.asp
    And as someone who is learning Korean, I can tell you that the few words I caught definitely had nothing to do with what he was 'translating'.

     

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  15.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Mar 29th, 2013 @ 10:08pm

    Response to: AB on Mar 29th, 2013 @ 8:36pm

    Could have been picked up over the airwaves on a South Korean TV set attached to a DVR.

     

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  16.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Mar 29th, 2013 @ 10:51pm

    Re:

    Washington was given a posthumous promotion, analogous to being awarded a medal posthumously. That's a far cry from holding a national office of (presumably) extreme importance.

     

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  17.  
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    Spaceman Spiff (profile), Mar 29th, 2013 @ 11:35pm

    "mis" translation?

    Well, I'll have to send this to some of my many Korean friends and have them translate the background audio to see if it matches the English version... :-)

     

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  18.  
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    Mike Masnick (profile), Mar 30th, 2013 @ 12:34am

    Re:

    This is a hoax. It was a parody made by Alun Hill.

    Ugh. Added an update, and reminded the writers here to be extra vigilant for the usual lame crop of fake stories on Monday as well.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  19.  
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    Ole Juul (profile), Mar 30th, 2013 @ 12:54am

    condolences

    I am fortunate to live in Canada where we have much more snow than you do down there. Still, because of global warming, a lot of people die of starvation during the summer.

     

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  20.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Mar 30th, 2013 @ 3:51am

    Holy shit, I nearly spit my snow coffee all over my monitor.

     

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  21.  
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    gorehound (profile), Mar 30th, 2013 @ 7:27am

    Re:

    And the Birds are all Sky Rats and Seagulls !

     

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  22.  
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    indy, Mar 30th, 2013 @ 7:51am

    Probably one of the funniest things I've seen in years, especially knowing TD writers thought it was real. I cried laughing. Thank you TD!

     

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  23.  
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    Akari Mizunashi (profile), Mar 30th, 2013 @ 8:05am

    Heh. Didn't TD recently berate a few news organizations from reporting what were clearly hoaxes a few weeks ago?
    ;)

    Sorry, couldn't resist, because it can happen to anyone. Hell, some hoaxes can actually look believable, such as this one. I wouldn't have caught on it was a hoax initially, but I raised an eyebrow when the word "yummy" was used.

    I'm pretty confident North Korea has no word for "yummy", as that implies a sense of satisfaction, illegal in the government-controlled land.
    ;)

     

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  24.  
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    AB (profile), Mar 30th, 2013 @ 8:14am

    Re: Re:

    Oh, I know it's real, it just blows my mind that their government holds them in such low esteem they don't even try to make the propaganda look real. And the people have so much anger and bitterness they _accept_ these incredibly pathetic broadcasts. These are people just like us, not some dirty and uncultured savage hiding in the hills. As a culture they have all the resources we have, yet they are so completely under the propagandists control that instead of laughing at it they accept it. I'm not saying there aren't people here who wouldn't buy into this too - that's the whole point of spam - but that's on an individual scale, not en-mass. *shrug* oh, well, I mostly just feel sorry for them I guess.

     

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  25.  
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    Comeraderoid, Mar 30th, 2013 @ 10:44am

    Dunno, Nercrocracy has it's points. It's the only form of government that acknowledges the age old fact that the only good politician is a dead politician.

     

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  26.  
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    REM(RND) (profile), Mar 30th, 2013 @ 1:22pm

    Random

    And now. Number 1. The larch.


    The... larch.

     

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  27.  
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    AB (profile), Mar 30th, 2013 @ 3:15pm

    Re:

    Well that's a relief, though our acceptance of this makes an especially sad statement about the quality of the rest of their propaganda.

    It has to be terribly embarrassing when the rest of the world can't tell the difference between a hacked together hoax and your own official government releases. Even the IRS produce better quality material.

     

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  28.  
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    Yakko Warner (profile), Mar 30th, 2013 @ 5:22pm

    [...] the level of crazy required to have a zombie President.

    I think you meant "level of awesome".

     

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  29.  
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    Andreas Moser, Mar 31st, 2013 @ 4:57am

    These North Korean videos are such a source of joy! I like these two announcing their “surprise attack” on South Korea and the USA in great detail: http://andreasmoser.wordpress.com/2013/03/30/north-koreas-military-strategy/

     

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  30.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Apr 1st, 2013 @ 10:31am

    Re: Re:

    Ugh. Added an update, and reminded the writers here to be extra vigilant for the usual lame crop of fake stories on Monday as well.

    So I'm guessing this is an example of where you guys weren't doing journalism. LMAO! Keep up the great work, Mike. Your band of idiot co-authors are priceless. Way to rip on everyone else when your own house is full of idiot thugs.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]


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