Famous Prankster 'The Internet' Hijacks Another Promotional Campaign

from the you-really-can't-specify-which-'crowd'-you-want-to-'source' dept

You know what The Internet does better than nearly anything else? If you answered, "Provide me with a creative and useful list of potential product names," go ahead and add that to the PowerPoint deck and hope no one asks for a citation. If you answered, "Find some way to add bodily fluids, Hitler and 'manual override' to our branded site featuring our prominent logo," go ahead and add that to your "Life Experiences" portfolio you're currently boxing up under the watchful eye of your security escort over at PepsiCo's headquarters.

Understandably, PepsiCo probably felt safe doing this. After all, when it had run a rather straightforward campaign, in which Facebook users voted for the next Mtn Dew flavor, it had the good sense to limit The Internet's input to three buttons. Perhaps feeling a bit overconfident, PepsiCo went to the same well again, hoping to name its new green apple-flavored soda. Only this time, it thought the Mtn Dew-swilling internet denizens might appreciate a bit more interaction. But giving The Internet an open text box for submissions without even bothering to do even the most cursory vetting of replies is only going to end the way everyone (but the corporate marketing team) knew it would: depravity mixed with Godwin's law, garnished with a side of Wilford Brimley.

Here's the voting results as seen shortly before the site went down:

Beyond the weird Grandma fetish and the masturbation jokes is a long list of (believe it or not) more offensive suggestions, snagged for posterity by a helpful reddit user. (Link only. Gallery runs seven pages deep and includes some other hilarious suggestions for the new Dew name, including "Coke," "Sierra Mist," "Never Going To Give You Upple,"WE'VE RUN OUT OF COLORS," "Solient Green," and, of course, "mtn jew." Reading list out loud probably NSFW.)

Here's a slightly earlier version, which seems to have appeared before some rudimentary cleanup was performed by the Dew team, which not only brings one of The Internet's favorite references to the top of the list, but also drops a completely trollish scrolling headline right over the top of the website:

Mtn Dew's official Twitter account ceded the battle on the 14th, having given up its dream of something usable like "Tempest" or "Green Flash" score near the top of the list. (Sadly, I don't think "Methamphetagreen" will make the cut.) A very concise concession, done neatly in less than 140 characters but still resonant enough to make one feel momentarily bad about splattering well-aged fluids all over the "little guy" who happened to be in the wrong place ('The Internet') at the wrong time ('ALWAYS').

Adding to the fun is the fact that no established prankster-heavy online entity wants to take credit for whitewashing Hitler's past/celebrating the unexpectedly feisty sexual activity of women in their "golden years." Reddit says 4chan did it. 4chan claims Reddit is behind the Hitler/Granny/diabeetus debacle. It all very definitely looks like a 4chan effort, but the truth is probably closer to "a bit of both." Does anyone seriously believe Reddit and 4chan share no common members? 

But after all is said and done, PepsiCo might have lost this particular battle, but overall it wins the war. Plenty of people spent more time thinking about MTN Dew (and Hitler... and... dear lord... Grandma) then they would have otherwise. A few months down the road, "Tempest" (probably) will appear in stores and be purchased by curious Dew fans, wondering internally if "Fapple" or "Grannies Spurt" better describes the flavor. Externally, everything else will be as it always was. And The Internet will sit by quietly, waiting for someone to call its name.



Reader Comments (rss)

(Flattened / Threaded)

  •  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Aug 15th, 2012 @ 7:38am

    LIES

    It wasn't Reddit or 4chan, it was those fuckers at 9gag!

     

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  •  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Aug 15th, 2012 @ 7:40am

    The 4chan children strike again. Why are you so amused by infantile behavior?

     

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    •  
      identicon
      Anonymous Coward, Aug 15th, 2012 @ 7:53am

      Re:

      It's a campaign to name a new flavor of a soda. Stop getting your panties in a twist.

       

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

      • This comment has been flagged by the community. Click here to show it
         
        identicon
        Anonymous Coward, Aug 15th, 2012 @ 8:07am

        Re: Re:

        I don't have panties, and they wouldn't be twisted if I did. I only said that the humor is infantile. Perhaps it explains why Mike likes Kevin Smith so much, a man mostly famous for dick and fart jokes.

         

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        •  
          identicon
          Anonymous Coward, Aug 15th, 2012 @ 8:13am

          Re: Re: Re:

          WOW, you are the poster boy of a sad, humorless, pathetic, angry little man. The only infantile mind here, is yours.

           

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        •  
          identicon
          Anonymous Coward, Aug 15th, 2012 @ 8:17am

          Re: Re: Re:

          Yes, but which director/actor does Tim like?

           

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        •  
          identicon
          DCX2, Aug 15th, 2012 @ 8:24am

          Re: Re: Re:

          What does Kevin Smith have to do with this, other than being a red herring?

          For that matter...what does Mike have to do with this? Is your distaste for the man so great that you just assume everything on this site is written by him? Kinda reminds me of people who call health reform "Obamacare"...but the Constitution doesn't give Obama the power to write laws.

           

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          •  
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            Vidiot (profile), Aug 15th, 2012 @ 9:03am

            Re: Re: Re: Re:

            What's that? Red Herring-flavored Mountain Dew?

             

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          •  
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            btr1701, Aug 15th, 2012 @ 10:51am

            Re: Re: Re: Re:

            > Kinda reminds me of people who call health reform
            > "Obamacare"...but the Constitution doesn't give Obama
            > the power to write laws.

            Might want to tell Obama that. His own campaign calls it Obamacare.

             

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        •  
          identicon
          Anonymous Coward, Aug 15th, 2012 @ 8:26am

          Re: Re: Re:

          I feel quite bad for everyone who has the unfortunate experience of knowing you.

           

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        •  
          identicon
          Anonymous Coward, Aug 15th, 2012 @ 9:46am

          Re: Re: Re:

          You really should get some panties then. Going commando increases your risk of vaginal chaffing, pubic lice, bacterial vaginosis, or a urinary tract infection. So please get some panties and wear them.

           

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        •  
          identicon
          Anonymous Coward, Aug 15th, 2012 @ 11:52am

          Re: Re: Re:

          Mike didn't author this. Care to try again? While I can see the humor, it is, at best, sophomoric.

           

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      •  
        identicon
        Anonymous Coward, Aug 15th, 2012 @ 8:15am

        Re: Re:

        He can't help it, he doesn't have a soul. They're illegal in D.C.

         

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        •  
          identicon
          Anonymous Coward, Aug 15th, 2012 @ 9:50am

          Re: Re: Re:

          It's true, I have to hide mine in my laptop bag every time I cross the border. Virginia's laws are a little looser as they take a 'don't ask, don't tell' stance to souls.

           

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        Anonymous Coward, Aug 15th, 2012 @ 11:54am

        Re: Re:

        "It's a campaign to name a new flavor of a soda. Stop getting your panties in a twist."

        Will you still be saying that the next time you're going to get a soda and say "Brb I need to go take a swig of my gushing granny"

         

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    •  
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      Chronno S. Trigger (profile), Aug 15th, 2012 @ 8:42am

      Re:

      There is a higher level of humor at work here, you're just not seeing it. I'd explain it to you, but people smarter then me have been trying to explain humor for thousands of years, and I still don't think you would understand it.

       

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      •  
        identicon
        Anonymous Coward, Aug 15th, 2012 @ 9:03am

        Re: Re:

        Higher level? Wow. I have some cartoons my 2 year old watches that would probably fascinate you.

         

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        •  
          identicon
          Anonymous Coward, Aug 15th, 2012 @ 9:51am

          Re: Re: Re:

          It's good that you find your child's cartoons engaging enough to share them with others. Sharing is a healthy part of human development.

           

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        •  
          icon
          Chronno S. Trigger (profile), Aug 15th, 2012 @ 10:25am

          Re: Re: Re:

          OK, I'll attempt to explain it even though it's physically impossible to explain humor to the humorless.

          Pepsi (are you following so far?) decided to give the Internet (I know, a big word, but just try to keep up) free reign over the naming of something that no one really cares about. It wasn't multiple choice, you could write in your own name. What the hell did they think was going to happen? This would be hilarious if the winning name was "Bob" (actually that name alone would be hilarious as an inside joke).

           

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    •  
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      Ninja (profile), Aug 15th, 2012 @ 9:27am

      Re:

      I'm almost 30. And while I'm not that creative (Grandma, rly?) I'd probably contribute with very amusing names ;)

      No srsly, opening it up to a fertile mob (the internet) is NOT a good idea ;)

       

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    •  
      identicon
      Anonymous Coward, Aug 15th, 2012 @ 9:48am

      Re:

      You are so amused by infantile behavior because you're wired too. So it's really not your fault you find this funny and you shouldn't take that fact out on others or yourself.

       

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      Fickelbra (profile), Aug 15th, 2012 @ 10:00am

      :(

      Sorry that we can't have a sophisticated sense of humor like yourself, anonymous coward. Unfortunately if you had the ability to read between the lines, I would say the article is more about highlighting the ability of the internet to organize and take action, even if the goal isn't always something noble. It is an event worthy of coverage, particularly since these types of results would take a considerable amount of action.

      Do yourself a favor; get off your computer, and get to your porch. We wouldn't want you to miss yelling at the neighborhood kids stepping on your lawn.

       

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    •  
      identicon
      DS, Aug 15th, 2012 @ 10:14am

      Re:

      Your mom found it funny...

       

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    Hiro Nogano (profile), Aug 15th, 2012 @ 7:42am

    This literally made my morning! Awesome!

     

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  •  
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    ChurchHatesTucker (profile), Aug 15th, 2012 @ 7:58am

    FWIW

    If you're wondering about all the "grannies", there was a push just prior to all of that by bronies who were trying to get the flavor named "Granny Smith" (after a My Little Pony character.) 4chan (or whoever) riffed off of that.

     

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      John Fenderson (profile), Aug 15th, 2012 @ 8:47am

      Re: FWIW

      Also, Granny Smith is a variety of apple. The reference seemed pretty obvious to me.

      "Gushin' Granny" is so close to the mark (Granny == apple, gushin' == juicy) that it's the type of name I could see being accidentally used by some poor souls whose minds don't tend to wander anywhere near the gutter.

       

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    •  
      identicon
      Anonymous Coward, Aug 15th, 2012 @ 10:34am

      Re: FWIW

      I would have gone with "Zap Apple". Granny Smith is a little too generic--being the name of an apple variety--to be an obvious MLP reference.

       

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  •  
    identicon
    Donnicton, Aug 15th, 2012 @ 8:04am

    Some of the suggestions in the full list were great, though.

    #59. Never Gunna Give You Upple? Brilliant.

     

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    A Non-Mouse, Aug 15th, 2012 @ 8:08am

    Hopefully the Mountain Dew folks can show a sense of humor and see this for what it is: A well done prank that they left themselves wide open for. Laugh it off and realize that, at least in this case, there is no bad publicity.

     

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  •  
    identicon
    Dave, Aug 15th, 2012 @ 8:11am

    Methamphetagreen

    "Methamphetagreen" is brilliant. They should just rename the original Mountain Dew that and call it a day.

     

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    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Aug 15th, 2012 @ 8:18am

    PepsiCo should give the internet a nod for it's efforts and name the new flavor Troll Juice.

     

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    facebook covers (profile), Aug 15th, 2012 @ 8:26am

    it was definately 4chan, lol epic tho.

     

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    John Fenderson (profile), Aug 15th, 2012 @ 8:43am

    Made my day

    This is the funniest thing I've seen this week. Thank you, the internet!

     

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    Vidiot (profile), Aug 15th, 2012 @ 9:06am

    Ploy?

    Wondering if Tim's use of "Mtn" instead of spelling out the product name is a strategy to stay under the Pepsico radar... or whether he just hates vowels.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

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    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Aug 15th, 2012 @ 9:40am

    The Bronies were originally in on this, trying to get "Apple Jack" (one of the characters from the show) as the drink name. I think it reached #2 before the Granny Porn took over.

     

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    Ninja (profile), Aug 15th, 2012 @ 9:50am

    Come on ppl, an article about interwebz hilarity and not a single comment marked with LOL? Should we call 4chan/reddit/9gag/insertcrazygroup to discuss this?

     

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    Mike42 (profile), Aug 15th, 2012 @ 10:49am

    I just wanted to note that it would appear that the Tims have switched logins. The previous article by Timothy Geigner (supposedly) about Disney was completely mature and factual. Not even a fart joke! And now this...
    I'm calling bullshit. Come clean.

     

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    •  
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      Capitalist Lion Tamer (profile), Aug 15th, 2012 @ 12:42pm

      Re:

      I'm as surprised as you are. If I had been in a more abrasive mood, I probably would have called out Pirate Mike for his obvious love of cheap knockoffs. Fortunately for me, I was at work when I read Tim's earlier and was in no position to yell stuff at the wrong writer.

       

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    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Aug 15th, 2012 @ 11:10am

    >Timothy Geigner

    >factual

    Yep. Not buying it.

     

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    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Aug 15th, 2012 @ 12:47pm

    not a winner

    Can I throw in "Sugarland Express". Is it to late? Did I win anything?I never win anything.You would think that someday I would win SOMETHING!I think this contest is rigged because I know that I didn't win.Did anybody win?
    Told ya so!Somebody should call Pepsi.

     

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    identicon
    monkyyy, Aug 15th, 2012 @ 8:47pm

    maybe if someone stuck to their promise ONCE, the internet would take this sort of thing srsly.

    give me one example where people voted up the jokes like "moot best person ever" from times, and they followed through, and not called up their lawyers to fix the mess?

     

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    Anonymous Coward, Aug 17th, 2012 @ 8:39am

    Just dew it!

     

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    Anonymous Coward, Aug 19th, 2012 @ 9:31am

    This is some of the most infantile humor...that I ever spent half an hour laughing at >.>

     

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    identicon
    mutuelle santé fonctionnaire, May 8th, 2013 @ 1:45pm

    Cela m'est extrêmement précieux ! Je dois dire que je ne regrette en rien de m'être abonné à votre weblog. Bonne journée

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]


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