Microsoft Releases Utterly Bizarre And Confusing Anti-Piracy Video

from the fear,-uncertainty-and-disorder dept

Boo! You didn't see me there, did you? That's because I'm one insidious sonofabitch. My name's piracy, and I'm everywhere. I will do things like disguise myself as a photocopier and infiltrate your business via identity theft. Or, umm, something. Here, I'll let this dramatic PSA from Microsoft fail to explain it to you:

Understand? No? Good! We want you confused and bewildered! If you're not careful, I will steal your external hard drives and stalk your attractive female employees. I even contribute to littering. And I do it all to the ominous notes of pizzicato strings, like Elmer Fudd hunting wabbits. Learn more at Microsoft's anti-piracy website, which is so poorly designed as to look like a knockoff itself—that is, if I don't run off with your computer first. Muahahaha! Piracy!



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    :Lobo Santo (profile), Apr 4th, 2012 @ 1:49pm

    Super LOLZ

    I doubt this has anything to do with piracy.

    Looks like Microshaft(tm) is trying to scare people away from OpenOffice and LibreOffice--or just open source software in general. It's like "Hey, buy our over-priced shit or you'll be sorry!!"

    Pretty good video production values though...

     

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      Bayan Rafeh (profile), Apr 4th, 2012 @ 2:26pm

      Re: Super LOLZ

      You're lucky you were actually able to make anything of this.

       

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        :Lobo Santo (profile), Apr 4th, 2012 @ 2:31pm

        Re: Re: Super LOLZ

        I have the unfortunate(?) curse of being a coder... it's what I am and what I do; so have some insight into the malformed coders (et al) who work for Microshaft™.

         

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          crade (profile), Apr 4th, 2012 @ 3:23pm

          Re: Re: Re: Super LOLZ

          I'm also a coder, and I don't get it. Yeah, buy our overpriced shit or you'l be sorry? It doesn't seem to even get that across... why would we be sorry? because bad stuff will magically happen to you if you don't? Is it supposed to be karma? Only the one lady was supposedly accidentally buying counterfeit software right (yeah right, thats believable)? The other people were doing completely unrelated stuff... Why does the video description say "3 ways counterfeit software can sneak into your business"?

           

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            Cowardly Anonymous, Apr 4th, 2012 @ 9:15pm

            Re: Re: Re: Re: Super LOLZ

            The counterfeits were the devices they were using. Like Lobo, I have enough insight into the peculiarities in play to figure out what they were going for.


            Essentially, Microsoft is telling people to be careful about:
            -What Browsers you use (plus downloads/online purchases/worker tendencies to do these things/dangers inherent from trash with critical info on it)
            -What you install on scanning devices
            -What you install on mobile storage devices

            They are, of course, trying to pretend that they are the only one's on the market that provide legit stuff.

            The reason things get confusing is that the girl downloading has a lot of stuff all mashed together. Further, all of this is simple stuff, compared to the harder stuff in the other examples.

            The watcher catches one of the items from the simple collage and is perplexed as to at least one other simple thing. This causes them to write off the more complicated events as esoteric as well, without attempting to explore what they could mean.

            The video is too short to smooth out the explanation and separate the simple elements, but contains too much information to state in a fast indirect manner.


            Of course, it is also primarily a big scare tactic, and may be confusing by design, as they realize they are misdirecting the watcher.

             

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      hothmonster, Apr 4th, 2012 @ 3:14pm

      Re: Super LOLZ

      I thought it was more of an attempt to lump more things under the word piracy. First piracy was robbing ships. Currently its robbing ships OR copyright infringement. Now they want piracy to mean robbing ships OR infringement, online fraud, hacking, identity theft and copier impersonation.

      Piracy was no long a bad word since the general public no longer really cares about infringement. More often then not they do not side with the corporation.

      So now they are making piracy scary again by sticking all these other crimes under the umbrella.

       

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        TtfnJohn (profile), Apr 4th, 2012 @ 5:40pm

        Re: Re: Super LOLZ

        Logically that piracy is both robbing ships and copyright/patent infringement.

        By extension that means that all the pirates are from Somalia, even the guy having lunch in the copier. Which must also mean that the IP extremist's top villain Google must also have a large presence in Somalia which is where they hide their nefarious activities on servers squirreled away there.

        Now if only Megaupload had done the same thing the site would still be up and running and Dotcom wouldn't be fighting an extradition request.

        See, it does all make sense if you only look at it like the bob's and AC's of the world want you and us to look at it.

        It might take a night of beer and a truckload of pot brownies to get there but I assure you that it's worth it!

         

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      Konraden, Apr 4th, 2012 @ 10:26pm

      Re: Super LOLZ

      I'm still trying to understand it. Microsoft seems to have equated everything information related to "piracy." Data theft isn't piracy, neither is credit card fraud, but they it seems they want you to believe that. In fact, that woman purchasing Office 2010 from "Litasoftware" may be purchasing a legitimate copy of Office from a third-party retailer. Who do we know, we have no access to any information aside from a guy in black lycra. It might be pirated, or it could be totally legitimate. What are they trying to say?

       

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      Konraden (profile), Apr 4th, 2012 @ 10:27pm

      Re: Super LOLZ

      I'm still trying to understand it. Microsoft seems to have equated everything information related to "piracy." Data theft isn't piracy, neither is credit card fraud, but they it seems they want you to believe that. In fact, that woman purchasing Office 2010 from "Litasoftware" may be purchasing a legitimate copy of Office from a third-party retailer. Who do we know, we have no access to any information aside from a guy in black lycra. It might be pirated, or it could be totally legitimate. What are they trying to say?

       

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      Anonymous Coward, Apr 5th, 2012 @ 3:25am

      Re: Super LOLZ

      Because you download OpenOffice, LibreOffice, or Lotus from sketchy russian websites that offer software at pennies to the dollar?

       

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    Tux (profile), Apr 4th, 2012 @ 1:49pm

    First :P

    The irony is because I watched it with 100% free software: Firefox with the YouTube HTML5 beta on Fedora 16. lol

     

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      Tux (profile), Apr 4th, 2012 @ 1:50pm

      Re:

      I was too late.

      But still, I facepalm at the thought.

       

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      GANOO, Apr 5th, 2012 @ 3:13am

      I'd just like to interject for a moment...

      Actually, you are not using 100% free software, as Firefox contains branding which is not licensed under the GPL, and is therefore not free.

      Fedora's version of the Linux kernel also contains nonfree, or "binary blobs".

      You should consider installing a fully free distribution of GNU/Linux (or GNU Plus Linux).

       

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    Rikuo (profile), Apr 4th, 2012 @ 1:51pm

    Confused Rikuo is confused.

    Who buys Microsoft Office? Especially using a company computer (and presumably intended for use on such)? My company switched to Open Office several years ago.

     

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      Larry, Apr 4th, 2012 @ 3:28pm

      Re:

      The government. That's who.

       

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        Pseudonym, Apr 4th, 2012 @ 5:13pm

        Re: Re:

        OK, so let's rephrase. Who sits down at their work desk, in their big corporate office, and buys a single copy of Microsoft Office online using a corporate credit card?

         

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          Not an Electronic Rodent (profile), Apr 5th, 2012 @ 2:58pm

          Re: Re: Re:

          OK, so let's rephrase. Who sits down at their work desk, in their big corporate office, and buys a single copy of Microsoft Office online using a corporate credit card?
          Ummmmm someone about to be sacked for misuse of corporate computer resources and personal use during working time? :p

           

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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 4th, 2012 @ 1:52pm

    I understand more the roof top jumping robots.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6b4ZZQkcNEo

     

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    GMacGuffin (profile), Apr 4th, 2012 @ 1:52pm

    Quoth Cosmo ...

    "I'm confused."

     

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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 4th, 2012 @ 1:57pm

    I have no idea what the disguised people are supposed to represent in that video. I'm usually pretty good about reading abstract representations but I am at a loss on this one.

     

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    Mike42 (profile), Apr 4th, 2012 @ 1:57pm

    OK, so I sorta understand the "don't download from strange websites" one, but I couldn't get WTF it was with the photocopier and the external hard drive.

    Good thing the voiceover cleared it up for me.

     

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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 4th, 2012 @ 1:58pm

    I think it's a pretty good commercial - reminding people that piracy and hackers are there pretty much at every turn.

    Only people trying hard to ignore an issue could miss it (Hi Marcus!)

     

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      silverscarcat (profile), Apr 4th, 2012 @ 2:08pm

      Re:

      Hackers and piracy is everywhere?

      Noooo!

      Tell me more so that we can all be enlightened.

       

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      Another AC, Apr 4th, 2012 @ 2:19pm

      Re:

      What I am trying to understand in the message is how the issue affects *me*. I don't get the disappearing computer, the data loss, or the 'identity theft' from a photocopier, since none of those things are even possible with either piracy.

      Maybe with 'hackers', but you threw that in so you would have a point, because they certainly never brought that up.

       

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        TtfnJohn (profile), Apr 4th, 2012 @ 4:53pm

        Re: Re:

        Not for you but then you apparently need high end models working for you or any of this to happen.

        And then there's a identity thief hiding inside every copier and scanner too if only you get the right models. (See above)

        Not only that but piracy forces itself into every office, crackers lay in wait at the other end of the WAN and LAN waiting for a nice view of cleavage before downloading malware!

        All without most people, it appears, being aware of the dangers out there or in there or somewhere there on the bosses completely unsecured LAN running a Windows server, no doubt. (Not like there's an ad agency in existence that will acknowledge the mere existence of other server OS's.)

        I know without reading the article what the ad is trying to say. I'm equally sure that no one over the age of 6 will take it seriously and precious few under that age will.

        It's certainly not going convince anyone with it's year old beef stew approach to any of the topics it tries to cover.

        Love the production values, though!

         

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      Anonymous Coward, Apr 4th, 2012 @ 2:22pm

      Re:

      Please point to the moment in the video where the hackers where, cause I didn't see it.

      Oh, did you make that part up?

       

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      Blatant Coward (profile), Apr 4th, 2012 @ 2:39pm

      Re:

      I hate when the hackers get into the water bubbler. I do not like lemonade, and it's always too warm.

       

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      ltlw0lf (profile), Apr 4th, 2012 @ 2:47pm

      Re:

      I think it's a pretty good commercial - reminding people that piracy and hackers are there pretty much at every turn.

      And their number one target... Survey says... Microsoft.

      Don't have problems with hackers, viruses, worms, trojans, etc. on my Linux box, and my Linux and FreeBSD servers don't have 02efpk.html for download from unsuspecting users from trojans sent to them on their windows box with hotmail reading and running them by default.

      How Microsoft can claim, with a straight face, that they have anything to do with protecting you from hackers is beyond me.

      Only people trying hard to ignore an issue could miss it (Hi Marcus!)

      I am not trying to ignore, I am trying to understand, and I apparently missed it.

       

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        dlayzer (profile), Apr 4th, 2012 @ 4:02pm

        Re: Re:

        How Microsoft can claim, with a straight face, that they have anything to do with protecting you from hackers is beyond me.

        I'm not one to shy from bashing Microsoft, but I think you're confusing "most insecure" with "most highly targeted".

         

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          ltlw0lf (profile), Apr 4th, 2012 @ 5:00pm

          Re: Re: Re:

          I'm not one to shy from bashing Microsoft, but I think you're confusing "most insecure" with "most highly targeted".

          Nope. I never said that they were the most insecure. I did say that they were the number one target. However, it begs the question, why are they a number one target? Its an argument I really don't want to get into because it borders on jedi wars (religion,) but the usual answers as to why is that they have one of the largest footprints (which may be true for workstations, but certainly not servers,) or they are commercial and nobody hacks open source (which is arguable,) or that they are easier to hack. I left it as an exercise to the reader to figure out why they are the most targeted.

          I have Windoze machines, which I am able to secure quite well, but what I really want to understand is why do you have to have elevated privileges to install user software on Windows? And why do large numbers of "user" software require privileged accounts in order to run properly. Once Microsoft figures out how to run a system so that elevated privileges are the exception and not the rule, things will be a lot better for them, but we've gone through a number of iterations and they haven't managed to do so yet.

          I do like how when I have run across trojans or viruses on the non-Windows side, I clear out the user's directory and anything they had write access to and its done, whereas I have to format and reload Windows every-time because the user was using elevated privileges to web-browse. Non-windows systems tell you when you log in (at least through X-Windows running GNOME/KDE,) that you are being stupid if you log into the root account, and dropping root privileges doesn't prevent stuff from working properly.

          So yeah, I said number 1 target but I think it is safe to say that they are pretty damn insecure too.

           

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          Anonymous Coward, Apr 5th, 2012 @ 5:16am

          Re: Re: Re:

          *nix are 1 or 2 security levels higher than M$ out of the box (depending on versions). So it has to do with both.

           

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      CommonSense (profile), Apr 4th, 2012 @ 4:23pm

      Re:

      Yes, I agree that it was good. I think it was a good advertisement for how bad "anti-piracy" laws have become... When someone tries to tell you that you have to go a website to make sure you're visiting the right websites....we've gone too far...

       

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      Colin, Apr 4th, 2012 @ 5:30pm

      Re:

      One day Disney is going to make an animated film about an anonymous coward and his adorable infatuation with Marcus.

       

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        [citation needed or GTFO], Apr 4th, 2012 @ 9:52pm

        Fanfiction central

        Surprised we haven't read any fanfiction between the intimate relationships between the usual ACs, Mike and Marcus.

        "Oh, Marcus!" Mike's heavy breathing gave away the building arousal in his loins. "Tell me those three special words that will take me over the edge!"

        Marcus leaned in closer, his luscious lips brushing against his partner's earlobe. "But won't the Anonymous Cowards get jealous?"

        "Please! I beg of you!" A coy smile formed on Marcus' handsome visage. In one seductive breath, he uttered the words that would drive any IP extremist wild:

        "Piracy. Google. Copyright."


        *Apologies to Leigh and Mike for delving into the minds of the TechDirt trolls/shills.*

         

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        PaulT (profile), Apr 5th, 2012 @ 1:40am

        Re: Re:

        No, to really make his obsessive idiocy complete and for him to finish his mental breakdown, Nina Paley would have to animate it... The resulting film will presumably be a cautionary tale of how paranoid schizophrenics operate on the internet.

         

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      Anonymous Coward, Apr 6th, 2012 @ 2:20pm

      Re:

      At every turn you say?!?!!? That sounds frightening!

      Now that I'm throughly startled is there some company I can pay inordinate sums of money to make that feeling go away?

      A wild Microsoft logo appears...

       

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    bob, Apr 4th, 2012 @ 2:03pm

    Malware thrives on P2P networks

    What's so hard to understand? Much of the software on P2P networks is infected with malware, often stuff that will track you and try to replace your links with affiliate links. I don't know what's so hard to understand about this. The malware authors have a big incentive to create infected software and "share" it, as you P2P junkies so lovingly call it. (Do you still use the verb "share" to describe infecting someone with an STD?)

     

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      :Lobo Santo (profile), Apr 4th, 2012 @ 2:06pm

      Re: Malware thrives on P2P networks

      Oh yes, totally.

      Every Windoze Lüzer out there is at big risk... not that I feel sorry for them.

      "Here's a nickel kid, get yourself a better computer."

      /smug

       

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        joe, Apr 4th, 2012 @ 5:44pm

        Re: Re: Malware thrives on P2P networks

        "Much of the software on P2P networks is infected with malware, often stuff that will track you and try to replace your links with affiliate links."

        I nearly fell off of my chair laughing at that. It has often been my experience that the legitimate software i always full with that kind of stuff (toolbars for example, like Ask.com) while much of the stuff on P2P networks has been clean. Sure the occasional noob will complain over an obvious false positive, but that is only because they are clueless as to how their AV software works and the policies of certain developers behind them. Been sharing since the 70's and have NEVER been infected with one iota of malware.

         

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          Anonymous Coward, Apr 5th, 2012 @ 3:31am

          Re: Re: Re: Malware thrives on P2P networks

          You are both idjits... if you think the video has anything to do with P2P, you need to watch more gooder.

           

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            Anonymous Coward, Apr 5th, 2012 @ 1:01pm

            Re: Re: Re: Re: Malware thrives on P2P networks

            Only bob seems to think it actually has something to do with P2P. :)

            PS: Do you watch Supernatural by any chance? :p

             

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      silverscarcat (profile), Apr 4th, 2012 @ 2:07pm

      Re: Malware thrives on P2P networks

      Gee, bob, I didn't know that! *Gasp* Maybe I should stop sharing stuff...

      Yeah, that's why you have malware, adware and virus protections.

       

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      Chosen Reject (profile), Apr 4th, 2012 @ 2:14pm

      Re: Malware thrives on P2P networks

      You know what malware also thrives on? Windows. Why is this coming from Microsoft?

       

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      Anonymous Coward, Apr 4th, 2012 @ 2:16pm

      Re: Malware thrives on P2P networks

      She went to a software shopping, not p2p network! However she do contemplate going to a website about peer-to-peer.

       

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      Anonymous Coward, Apr 4th, 2012 @ 2:26pm

      Re: Malware thrives on P2P networks

      What's so hard to understand?


      The entire video that was linked above.

      Much of the software on P2P networks is infected with malware


      Why didn't you just ask "So the cops knew that internal affairs were setting them up?" so that when we replied that there was nothing like that at all in the video you could have just replied "Oh, you see when I get bored I make up my own movie. I have a very short attention span."?

       

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      weneedhelp (profile), Apr 4th, 2012 @ 2:29pm

      Re: Malware thrives on P2P networks

      Hey boB, how would you know that "Much of the software on P2P networks is infected with malware" You have your P2P running right now dont you?

      "often stuff that will track you" - Oh you mean like my ISP and the government. At least I can get rid of the malware junk.

      "and try to replace your links with affiliate links." - You mean like going to (insert website here) and getting infected?

      "Do you still use the verb "share" to describe infecting someone with an STD?" - Please cite when it ever was used that way.


      1/10

       

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      hothmonster, Apr 4th, 2012 @ 3:10pm

      Re: Malware thrives on P2P networks

      Right Bob! That is what that guys gets for downloading his photocopier.

       

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      TtfnJohn (profile), Apr 4th, 2012 @ 5:13pm

      Re: Malware thrives on P2P networks

      I'm sure with your vast experience on P2P networks you'd know about such things, bob.

      And no, I don't use the verb "to share" to describe infecting someone with and STD though posts by someone called bob around here tempt me to do so just as soon as I acquire one.

       

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      well bobby, Apr 4th, 2012 @ 8:18pm

      Re: Malware thrives on P2P networks

      the about malware and p2p is that its alot like putting wet floor signs outside in front of a store when its raining.

      it only happens to people who are who are clueless

      great STD joke by the way i have not heard that since fourth grade.

       

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      Josh, Apr 4th, 2012 @ 8:31pm

      Re: Malware thrives on P2P networks

      Meh, I do some freelance repair and IT support and I find that most malware gets on peoples computers through visits to completely legitimate websites that have been compromised, or through places like CNET that give lots of BIG DOWNLOAD NOW links that don't point to the software you actually think you are downloading.

      No one gets Antivirus 2012 from P2P...

       

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        Anonymous Coward, Apr 5th, 2012 @ 6:23am

        Re: Re: Malware thrives on P2P networks

        Been out of consumer side tech support for awhile. Glad to know my old friend Antivirus 20** is still hanging around.

         

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      Cowardly Anonymous, Apr 4th, 2012 @ 9:40pm

      Re: Malware thrives on P2P networks

      Malware P2P tends die a quick death as the comments flood with warnings and the uploader is banned from the site. Don't be the first to download unless you have good reason to trust the uploader and you'll avoid all of the P2P malware. Of course, most malware creators apparently find that approach not worth it as they have better options to work with.

      By the way, DRM is malware too. Most also consider the annoying toolbars/search bars to be malware, especially where they have been made difficult to eliminate. Since the supposedly legit stuff is often loaded with one or the other, P2P is actually the malware free environment, as it is actually driven by demand.

       

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      Linus Torvalds, Apr 4th, 2012 @ 10:34pm

      I see you are trying to "think".

      @microshaft "bob" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Microsoft_Bob) :

      Much of the software on P2P networks is infected with malware

      And you are a repeat-offending child-molester.

      Like you, I provide no proof, but both our statements must be accepted as fact, even absent one scintilla of proof. Like fox "news", anything we state is true by default.

      often stuff that will track you and try to replace your links with affiliate links.

      You must be in sales at microshaft - who else would say "replace your links with affiliate links". (Excuse me for a moment. After quoting that, I have to go wash the manure taste out of my metaphoric mouth with lye soap.)

      Btw, what you say hasn't happened to me once in 15 years of intense web activity. Then again, I don't use microshaft products. I'm sure its just bad design on their part, as usual.

      The malware authors have a big incentive to create infected software

      And the dead turd authors at microshaft have a big incentive to create dead turds that any 4-year-old could infect in 5 seconds.

      and "share" it

      microshaft capitalists despise the word "share" (and use it as a derogatory epithet), like normal people despise the word "vomit".

      as you P2P junkies so lovingly call it.

      (Ooh, the deep jabs of your grade 4 wit - they tickle like feathers!)

      When I was 3, my mother told me to share my ice-cream cone with my big sister Lucy. I didn't know she was a "P2P junkie". Thanks for the info.

      (Do you still use the verb "share" to describe infecting someone with an STD?)

      I dunno. But I call counseling someone to use a microshaft product "infecting them with an ASTD (anti-socially-transmitted disease".

      I also know a horribly lame troll when I read one like yours. Either that, or you are the world's biggest dope.

      ----

      Long live free software and death to microshaft and its really bad trolls!

       

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    ASTROBOI, Apr 4th, 2012 @ 2:05pm

    I didn't buy pirate software. Some kind person shared it with me for free. Since MS doesn't sell it any more I can't feel guilty.

     

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      PlagueSD (profile), Apr 4th, 2012 @ 2:36pm

      Re:

      Yeah, How else am I supposed to get Windows 3.1 for my 386. I had 3 floppy disks that went bad and couldn't re-install the OS. I downloaded the whole OS onto 1 CD-ROM. Now I only need the boot floppy disk to install windows.

      /sarcasm

       

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        LazDude2012, Apr 4th, 2012 @ 9:27pm

        Re: Re:

        I actually did have to pirate Win3.1 a couple months back, as there was no way to get it legitimately, and I really, really wanted to try Win3.1.

         

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          Watchit (profile), Apr 5th, 2012 @ 12:35am

          Re: Re: Re:

          You filthy pirate! Think of the poor software company that put their heart and soul into making that shiny new OS? Think of the money you deprived them by downloading their old software instead of buying the new OS (that you probably don't need)!

           

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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 4th, 2012 @ 2:07pm

    My take on the ad was that people need to watch their data. When you photo copy id's and credit cards, people can get a hold of the copies and use them.
    Using credit cards online can be risky if you don't know who the company is.

    A good ad, but it has nothing to do with piracy. It has to do with using good personal security.

     

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      Anonymous Coward, Apr 4th, 2012 @ 2:45pm

      Re:

      Yeah, I made the same of it. I thought I understood the ad, but then at the end it had a mind-boggling conclusion: piracy lurks everywhere. Piracy? Ftw? You mean security risks, surely?

       

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      Yakko Warner (profile), Apr 4th, 2012 @ 2:53pm

      Re:

      That's what I got out of it as well. It would've been a really clever ad about corporate and network security.

      The connection to piracy is never made in the video.

       

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      TtfnJohn (profile), Apr 4th, 2012 @ 5:10pm

      Re:

      Thing is that it briefly mentions non MS office packages so that's where the piracy comes in. About 3 seconds of it. And that's what one of the high end models working in the office downloaded the infected thumb drive which, it seems, grew legs, jumped off the desk and ran off with her credit card.

      It has the potential to be a good ad about personal security at the office and the need for people to be careful about things like credit card numbers and what they take pictures of on copiers and scanners. The problem comes when the ad tries to cover too much ground in 60 seconds. Quite honestly it would have been far more effective as three 20 second ads focusing on each of the three messages they were trying to get out about security.

      And then, for some of us anyway, maybe a lot of it, there's the MS tag line off the end which, by itself, can negate a lot of the positive message(s) in the ad.

       

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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 4th, 2012 @ 2:08pm

    Did you pay for pirated software? We are sorry, but this is the 21th century, you could have just simply downloaded it from The Pirate Bay.

     

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    Jay (profile), Apr 4th, 2012 @ 2:08pm

    I got it!

    Microsoft is showing their support for CISPA!

     

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    zaarcis, Apr 4th, 2012 @ 2:08pm

    Lol video.

    Anyway, I didn't see anything about pirates. I saw only reminding about security risks, caused by downloading bad software LitWare.

     

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    A Guy (profile), Apr 4th, 2012 @ 2:10pm

    I get it.

     

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    jupiterkansas (profile), Apr 4th, 2012 @ 2:13pm

    Microsoft has, without a doubt, one of the worst marketing departments in the world. Their legacy of horrible marketing videos is unparalleled. If they hadn't monopolized themselves so well in the 1990s, they would be dead today.

     

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    dniMretsaM, Apr 4th, 2012 @ 2:15pm

    Great Laugh!

    That was seriously the funniest video I've seen this week. I really don't get the connection between counterfeit software and "pirated" software. But then again, I don't get Microsoft.

     

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    zaarcis, Apr 4th, 2012 @ 2:16pm

    Ah, I got it. It's in name of the video - "Piracy Lurks Everywhere".

    Imho, it's just stupidity of Microsoft video makers. Uneducation about terms.

     

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      Blatant Coward (profile), Apr 4th, 2012 @ 2:43pm

      Re:

      How can it be piracy lurking, I didn't see a single parrot.

       

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        TtfnJohn (profile), Apr 4th, 2012 @ 5:15pm

        Re: Re:

        Which only goes to show that you weren't examining the cleavage closely enough in your effort to be politically correct while you were wondering "why are there no girls/women who look and dress like that at MY office"?

         

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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 4th, 2012 @ 2:20pm

    Having worked on model of Xerox printer in that video, I can, with full confidence, declare that the dude inside was of the wrong type and color for that printer.

    That was a black and white printer, and he was in color!

     

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    dniMretsaM, Apr 4th, 2012 @ 2:20pm

    Another Thought

    Are the people who come up with crap like this actually deluded enough that they think they have a legitimate argument or are they sitting in meetings discussing malicious ways to blur the lines between real problems (counterfeit products, actual theft, etc.) and infringement?

     

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      Anonymous Coward, Apr 5th, 2012 @ 3:58am

      Re: Another Thought

      No, but those who view and take at face value what corporations say without seeking confirmation, just might be, and lets be face it, thats exactly who this advert is targeted at

       

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    ASTROBOI, Apr 4th, 2012 @ 2:24pm

    The creepy guy in the copier looks like the old MSN fat insect guy but without the wings.

     

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    iamtheky (profile), Apr 4th, 2012 @ 2:27pm

    umm

    freeze at 0:19 = peer to pier

    freeze at 0:21 = peer to peer

    just seems if you are going to make a horrible PSA, you wouldnt jack up the basic things, and save your ruin for the overall message.

     

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      ltlw0lf (profile), Apr 4th, 2012 @ 3:00pm

      Re: umm

      freeze at 0:21 = peer to peer

      Hah! I froze it at 0:23, and it all makes sense...she is buying the software from an auction site! She isn't buying it from Microsoft directly. So LitWare is some sort of EBay site.

      Piracy apparently now includes buying legitimate software from auction sites too. If you don't buy from Microsoft, you are apparently getting ripped off. Still don't understand the rest, but ok.

       

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        Anonymous Coward, Apr 4th, 2012 @ 7:39pm

        Re: Re: umm

        Do a "whois litware.com" and you will find that the registrant and admin contact is one Robert Deluca of Redmond, WA, USA. Hmm. What large software company do we know of that happens to be in Redmond, WA?

        Oh, and young ladies with corporate credit cards are using them to download illegal copies of Microsoft Office? Seriously? Really? That would be a sacking offense in most corporations. They really do not want a nasty visit from the BSAA.

        The corporations that are watching the pennies are using Libre Office. The others are paying a discounted price to their local Microsoft dealer, and staying nice and legal.

        The vast majority of illegal copies of Microsoft Office are used by people who are too lazy to investigate free alternatives. They are also deluded about the likelihood of getting caught. MS Office "phones home" whenever there is an internet connection. If MS figures out that you are anything other than a penniless nobody, the BSAA comes a-knocking.

         

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          ZombieBotsFromMars, Apr 5th, 2012 @ 6:33am

          Re: Re: Re: umm

          Micro$oft will get to the point (and I'm betting I'm right) that in order to provide better "security" and "combat piracy" future version of Windows (past Windows 8) will only run certified (see: pay Micro$oft a s**t ton of money) software or Micro$oft created software. Basically: screw open-source.

          And this little theory of mine is why I'm building a Linux running nothing but open-source software.

           

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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 4th, 2012 @ 2:31pm

    That commercial makes perfect sense. I recently bought a used couch. Thankfully I did a virus/malware scan before I installed it in my house. I caught three perps that were going to try and pirate my vinyl collection. Piracy is everywhere.

     

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      Dark Helmet (profile), Apr 4th, 2012 @ 2:48pm

      Re:

      One time when I got home from the grocery store, pulled the NY Ribeye I bought out of the plastic bag. I inspected it to make sure it was safe, looked at the label to make sure it was from the store brand, and sniffed it to make sure it was real meat, not spoofed almost-protein.

      I then put that steak into a lovely balsamic vinegarette marianade, allowed it to soak for nearly an hour, and then placed it on a clean plate to be peppered with garlic salt and crushed red pepper. Then I took the steak out onto my deck and opened the grill-

      AND BICKETY BAM SIX MEN IN HOODIES AND WIERD ANKLETS POURED OUT OF THE GRILL HATCH, KNOCKED THE FUCKING STEAK PLATE OUT OF MY HAND, AND PUNCHED ME IN THE LEFT NUT.

      I died of testicular tortion later that day. And do you know why?

      because #piracyiseverywhere....

       

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        Chosen Reject (profile), Apr 4th, 2012 @ 3:03pm

        Re: Re:

        balsamic vinegarette marianade, allowed it to soak for nearly an hour
        Only an hour? Surely you meant 7 men in hoodies. Try adding raspberry to your marinade, also. It'll help with the death thing.

         

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        silverscarcat (profile), Apr 4th, 2012 @ 4:55pm

        Re: Re:

        I remember the time I bought a used car. I brought it home, parked it, and the next thing I know, twenty masked midgets jump out of the back seat, beat me to a pulp and steal all the ice-cream out of my deep freeze.

        It was not a happy day for me.

         

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        Anonymous Coward, Apr 5th, 2012 @ 12:54pm

        Re: Re:

        Do I detect a Kevin Smith homage in there somewhere?

        Also, I'm officially pirating that slogan as my new sig:

        #piracyiseverywhere

         

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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 4th, 2012 @ 2:35pm

    That was hilarious!

     

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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 4th, 2012 @ 2:36pm

    Um, what the hell is this? What does any of this have to do with piracy?

     

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    TheLoot (profile), Apr 4th, 2012 @ 2:41pm

    Video Unrelated

     

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    Ray of Light (profile), Apr 4th, 2012 @ 2:47pm

    Redheads

    Mmmmmmmm, I love redheads.

     

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    Jonny, Apr 4th, 2012 @ 2:48pm

    On a lighter note, that's one adorable redhead in that clip.

     

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    Joshua Jones (profile), Apr 4th, 2012 @ 2:51pm

    guys guys guys hold on

    It was just a typo. When they say piracy, they mean "crime of all sorts."

     

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    Yakko Warner (profile), Apr 4th, 2012 @ 2:56pm

    Identity theft, apply directly to the forehead.
    Loss of data, apply directly to the forehead.
    Financial risk, apply directly to the forehead.

    Palm slap, apply directly to the forehead.

     

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    F!, Apr 4th, 2012 @ 2:59pm

    intentionally misleading

    They're trying to conflate so-called 'piracy' (file sharing/downloading/copyright infringement) with ID theft, is all I was able to take away from it.

    The ending had me scratching my head indeed.

     

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    crade (profile), Apr 4th, 2012 @ 3:04pm

    Is the purpose of that video to try to show a bunch of things people don't like, then mention piracy hope people associate them together?

     

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    ZombieBotsFromMars, Apr 4th, 2012 @ 3:04pm

    So don't work in an office cause there's thieves everywhere?

    How the glorious f**k does using the photocopier = ID theft? As someone said in up-convo it looks designed more to scare people of using Open Source.

     

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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 4th, 2012 @ 3:09pm

    Anyone who uses a photocopier or external hard drive is an evil pirate.

     

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    Ian (profile), Apr 4th, 2012 @ 3:14pm

    Looks like they're trying to say "don't make copies of infinite goods, because you might lose scarce goods". It's not a bad ad--I mean, they knew how to scare people, by suggesting the loss of those scarce goods. It'd be a lot less effective if it was suggesting people might lose infinite goods.

    Just for laughs, picture it. Bored office drone is sitting there, eating a sandwich and looking for pirated (or free, it's not clear) software. Suddenly, there are creepy eyes peering at them, and dramatic music as they get closer to their download... suddenly, the creepy guy is also eating a very similar sandwich. A moment later, the guy finds the software he wants, and the creepy guy is now wearing the same outfit. When he hits download, the creepy guy now has the same hairstyle.

    The horror.

     

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      Torg (profile), Apr 4th, 2012 @ 3:46pm

      Re:

      Someone needs to make this ad.

       

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        Anonymous Coward, Apr 5th, 2012 @ 4:15am

        Re: Re:

        I think someone should make an ad with someone in a third world country pirating educational software, and then have a two universe perspective from that point on in their life, where one does ok in school and the other does very well in school, where one has a tough life and the other has a succesful life.

        Note, i dont think its that black and white, but as an example...... monkey see, monkey do

        and then have 'THE DANGERS OF FRAUD AND IDENTITY THEFT', show up at the end

         

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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 4th, 2012 @ 3:27pm

    Wow that download went faster than anything I have ever downloaded from the Microsoft site.

     

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    Rcs (profile), Apr 4th, 2012 @ 3:34pm

    Big Brother

    Please keep in mind that microsoft has endless funds at their disposal. This video represents 100's of man hours from conception through production.
    This was the best idea $1mil could buy? There is more being communicated here than what meets the eye.

     

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    Michael Andrew Baldelli, Apr 4th, 2012 @ 3:37pm

    W.... T... F...

    I want to know what the team was smoking/inhaling/popping when they made this video. It made no sense whatsoever.

    I'm off to pick myself up a six-pack of Guinness and I'll try watching this again after a couple of beers to see if if makes any more sense.

     

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    TheBigH (profile), Apr 4th, 2012 @ 3:49pm

    what dafuq did I just watch?

     

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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 4th, 2012 @ 4:09pm

    website, which is so poorly designed as to look like a knockoff itself—that is, if I don't run off with your computer first

    what worse than Techdirt's web site design ????

    I find that very hard to believe...

     

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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 4th, 2012 @ 4:15pm

    it's so obvious

    Microsoft finally admitting how insecure it is, being an enabler of theft

     

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      ltlw0lf (profile), Apr 4th, 2012 @ 5:15pm

      Re: it's so obvious

      Microsoft finally admitting how insecure it is, being an enabler of theft

      And how crappy its licensing system is.

      According to the website, if you buy a computer with Windows 7 Home Edition on it, and then you buy a Windows 7 Professional Volume License and install it on the computer, you are violating their license. Apparently you can only buy computers with Windows 7 Professional on them and then "upgrade" them with a Windows 7 Professional Volume License (that of course you pay more money for.) Talk about confusing.

      When it comes to the point that you have to have your lawyer review the license for software you plan on buying, they are doing it wrong. Lucky for them, they have marketshare to keep them afloat, but at some point customers are going to say "to hard," and walk away to systems that have easier to understand licensing.

       

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    terry (profile), Apr 4th, 2012 @ 4:46pm

    Typical Microsoft - Yet another F. U. D. Campaign.

    FUD is the Microsoft invention that has made the company the monopoly it is today.

    If you are not familiar with FUD, look up Microsoft leaked Halloween Documents.

    open source software "is long-term credible ... FUD tactics can not be used to combat it,"

    In spite of the above Microsoft internal statement they are going to try and try again just the same.

     

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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 4th, 2012 @ 5:20pm

    So Microslowsoft agrees megaupload is innocent ?

     

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    Colin, Apr 4th, 2012 @ 5:40pm

    If you're dumb enough to not see grown men hiding in plain sight in your office, you're dumb enough to have bad things happen to you.

    That was the moral, right?

     

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    ZombieBotsFromMars, Apr 4th, 2012 @ 6:15pm

    I want to meet the hacker slick enough to hack a unnetworked photocopier and download scans of stuff people are copying.

     

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      Anonymous Coward, Apr 5th, 2012 @ 9:59am

      Re:

      That's a xerox workcentre, and its a printer and a copier, so its probably networked. We have about 4 or 5 of them here and we used to refurb that model and ones similar to it.

      The network controller runs linux, it encrypts images on a hard drive temporarily, and the rest of the system is custom xerox/fuji hardware, of which I doubt many exploits are available.

      Seeing a person inside made me wonder how long it took to prep the unit to get someone inside. With all of the mechanicals, it had to take a good few hours to gut the machine. An then more to hack the plates between the scanner section on top and the printer below, the printer section to the feed tray section, and the bottom of the feed tray section into the base.

      I still fail to see the risk. Anyone can steal your wallet and take your identity, no copier required.

       

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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 4th, 2012 @ 9:32pm

    Piracy is Everywhere....and that is a good thing. Ok. Enough dumb videos for the day. Back to work.

     

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    El, Apr 4th, 2012 @ 9:44pm

    I was watching the video, but then I turned away for a second and now my monitor is gone! I can't see what I'm typing, argh pirates!

     

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    Watchit (profile), Apr 5th, 2012 @ 12:36am

    What is...

    ...I don't even.

     

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    Pete Austin, Apr 5th, 2012 @ 12:47am

    Anti-Counterfeit, NOT Anti-piracy

    This is not an anti-piracy website, so I don't know what a lot of the previous commenters are reading. It's about avoiding counterfeit software. Where does it mention piracy?
    http://www.microsoft.com/en-us/howtotell/default.aspx

     

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      Anonymous Coward, Apr 5th, 2012 @ 4:10am

      Re: Anti-Counterfeit, NOT Anti-piracy

      At the end of the video

       

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      Leigh Beadon (profile), Apr 5th, 2012 @ 6:06am

      Re: Anti-Counterfeit, NOT Anti-piracy

      This is not an anti-piracy website, so I don't know what a lot of the previous commenters are reading. It's about avoiding counterfeit software. Where does it mention piracy?

      Um, the video (which microsoft uploaded to promote the website) is titled "Piracy Lurks Everywhere", which is also the tag it shows immediately before the URL to the site

       

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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 5th, 2012 @ 12:57am

    I think there is some sort of missunderstandig here.
    This is obviously not ment to make sense. I think it's a new form of ''Rorschach test'' look at the video and tell me what you see.

     

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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 5th, 2012 @ 2:49am

    Fucking pillokcs...........and they accuse us of misinformation, didn't realise it was perfectly acceptable, as long as their the ones doing it

    So, if piracy = counterfit and fraud, whats the new word for those who download media for entertaintment purposes, because obviously, we cant use piracy anymore ..........oh wait, i knw what their trying to do,

    SMEAR CAMPAIGN

     

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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 5th, 2012 @ 3:30am

    What a bunch of goons out today. The only 'problem' with the video, is that it was out of order. The guy and second gal's problems should have occurred after the install. Also, this is CLEARLY against the piracy (in the classic sense, as in selling what amounts to illegal goods) websites, and CLEARLY nothing to do with free alternatives.

    But why let common sense get in the way of a good witch burning?

    (Waiting to be called a shill, anti-tam, etc. although I only call out when everyone falls off the deep end into reactionary bullshit)

     

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      Anonymous Coward, Apr 5th, 2012 @ 4:25am

      Re:

      Explain how the taking of the credit card fits into your rationalisation? speaking from one goon to another

       

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      Torg (profile), Apr 5th, 2012 @ 4:40am

      Re:

      If they wanted to use the classic sense they should've found a different word. "Piracy" means "selling illegal goods" in the same way that "idiot" is a valid medical diagnosis.

       

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      Watchit (profile), Apr 5th, 2012 @ 9:20am

      Re:

      In the digital environment "piracy" is pretty much synonymous with illegal download of software/content. So, it might just be possible that Microsoft is so far out of touch that they don't realize this, but I'd like to give them the benefit of the doubt in that regard and consider they probably made this video to scare people away from software that's not theirs, since it might not be "legitimate"

      most of the site they link to is "how to avoid counterfeit microsoft software and products." and that P2P and auction sites (like amazon) should be "avoided", instead people should shop at the Microsoft store. Their even as behind the times as to think people selling physical bootlegs is even really a problem anymore.

       

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    Don, Apr 5th, 2012 @ 4:45am

    Horrible

    Let's face it, Microsoft is just horrible at any and all kinds of consumer messaging. Their commercials sucks, this video sucks.

     

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    Spaceman Spiff (profile), Apr 5th, 2012 @ 9:04pm

    Just another day at the oriface

    Microsludge (tm), it does nobody good!

     

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    identicon
    abailey, Apr 6th, 2012 @ 7:38am

    Bizzare but makes you think

    I understand that Printer/Photocopies which tend to be all in one devices these days can have infected drivers that can download virsuses to your PC. I think that is what the video was trying to illustrate.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

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    identicon
    Marshall, Apr 6th, 2012 @ 8:54am

    Did they pay for the music they used or DL it from a website?

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

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    icon
    Sheogorath (profile), Jul 6th, 2013 @ 9:10am

    Micro$##t kinda have a point

    It is possible to download malware if you don't know what you're doing. That's why I go directly to the source for all my open source goodies.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]


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