The Onion Explains SOPA And PIPA (As Only The Onion Can)

from the cutting-through-the-onion dept

Well, it took some time, but with so much disinformation that was spread online about SOPA and PIPA, we really needed someone to cut through the clutter... and who better than The Onion? They've finally done so with their simple SOPA/PIPA explainer that includes some of the finer points of the law that you may have missed if you hadn't read the bill carefully:
  • Music review sites can only allude to a song's title and content in vague terms
  • All pirated material available only at the Commerce Department's new site, Torrent.gov
  • Government will actively encourage people to download only public-domain music, such as Pipey Lester's "That Cat's a-Mewing!" or Ukulele Ted's "Nickel For Your Hat"
  • Denies future generations the ability to watch hilarious scene from Dirty Work where Chris Farley yells at the Asian hooker anytime, free of charge, which is a fundamental right of being an American
  • Does absolutely nothing to get rid of goddamn Lolcats
  • Makes the MPAA and RIAA feel better, which, if you have any shred of a soul, causes pure rage to swell through your very being
  • Any person suspected of Photoshopping bill sponsor Rep. Lamar Smith (R-TX) in an unflattering manner shall be subject to a minimum sentence of two months in prison; sentence will be increased by an additional two months if MS Paint is used
  • No longer legal to steal Ryan Gosling's credit card information
If only they'd shared this info sooner, so much misinformation would have been stopped...


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