Funniest/Most Insightful Comments Of The Week At Techdirt

Techdirt

from the the-week-of-anonymous dept

We keep hearing stories about how evil anonymous comments are on news sites and how they should be banned. This week alone, a proposal popped up in the UK that would effectively wipe out anonymity, if implemented. And yet… the top three vote-getters this week for “most insightful” all came from anonymous commenters. I’ll include all three to start us off. The first two, oddly, both came from commenters who were both listed as “Anonymous” rather than our default “Anonymous Coward.” I guess they’re not so cowardly. The winning Anonymous comment came on the story about Louisiana outlawing the use of cash for secondhand sales. This commenter explained why:

In other words, the police want to make sure that every single citizen is always doing something illegal at all times, so that they always have probable cause. Welcome to the police state.

Coming in second was an Anonymous comment on the story of the Australian financial firm that sent the police and threatened to bill a guy who alerted them to a basic, but massive, security flaw in their accounts system. This commenter had a simple request:

Is there an online clearinghouse or list where organizations with a “Shoot the Messenger” policy regarding security breaches are recorded? I would certainly be interested in such a list or website, as I have no interest in giving any support to retailers who are so backwards in their thinking.

That would be useful. The third place Anonymous comment came from an Anonymous Coward on that same story, and was a response to someone who suggested that the guy “illegally accessed” others’ accounts. That didn’t make much sense:

Illegally? It’s illegal to change the number in a URL and hit enter? That’s insane. If their website gives you confidential information just by changing the URL that’s not a case of someone ‘illegally accessing other people’s accounts’ that’s a case of the company illegally allowing access to other people’s accounts. At some point the responsibility must lie with the company hosting the information and I think that point comes with gross negligence as in this case.

Since, technically, I guess the above comment counts as editor’s choice (since we normally only show the top two vote getters), we’ll just add a single other editor’s choice for insightful… and that would be Chris Rhodes’ comment concerning the TSA searching vehicles in Tennessee:

The Progression

“Well, if you don’t like it, don’t fly!”
“Well, if you don’t like it, don’t take the train!”
“Well, if you don’t like it, don’t ride the bus!”
“Well, if you don’t like it, don’t drive your car!”

Next up:

“Well, if you don’t like it, don’t walk in public!”

And on that note, let’s jump over to the funny side of the ledger and see if we can cheer things up a bit. Coming in first was the non-registered (effectively anonymous) user AJ, responding to the story of the woman suing an airline for turbulence, by quoting one of everyone’s favorite movies:

Well.. After pulling the transcripts of the departure tapes, I think I’ve found where the confusion started….

“Roger Murdock: Flight 2-0-9’er, you are cleared for take-off.
Captain Oveur: Roger!
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Tower voice: L.A. departure frequency, 123 point 9’er.
Captain Oveur: Roger!
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Victor Basta: Request vector, over.
Captain Oveur: What?
Tower voice: Flight 2-0-9’er cleared for vector 324.
Roger Murdock: We have clearance, Clarence.
Captain Oveur: Roger, Roger. What’s our vector, Victor?
Tower voice: Tower’s radio clearance, over!
Captain Oveur: That’s Clarence Oveur. Over.
Tower voice: Over.
Captain Oveur: Roger.
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Tower voice: Roger, over!
Roger Murdock: What?
Captain Oveur: Huh?
Victor Basta: Who? ”

Coming in second… was another Anonymous Coward. This time responding to the story of Warner Bros. buying the rights to a story that began as a Reddit comment. That story, called Rome, Sweet Rome, is about a modern US Marine infantry battalion going back in time to face the Roman Empire:

Well when all you have is a modern US Marine infantry battalion, all of your problems look like the Roman Empire.

For editor’s choice, we’ve got yet another Anonymous Coward commenting on the confusion over SoundExchange telling indie musician Zoe Keating that Universal Music was claiming her music as Universal’s:

This is why we need PROTECT IP to protect the good people like Universal Music from freetards like Zoe Keating.

And, finally, my last editor’s choice for funny is xenomancer’s attempt to add a bit of poetry to the comments in response to a copyright troll’s legal briefing by lawyer James White. I present to you, xenomancer’s opus: Lowering My Standards:

Ahem…

You freeloading freetards!
You astroturfing shilltards!
You Masnick-clone pirate scum!
You uninformed dinosaur bum!

Perhaps everyone should take
Sweet extra seconds to make
Their derisions come through in rhyme
That way when mocked
Or otherwise shocked
We can have some fun wasting time

Some come here to argue and prove polar points
While some here are willing to sway
I came to this site after cracking my joints
So I could consume 30 seconds today

With words most clever I would otherwise endeavor
To give you a poem with tact
But like James White, I’d rather spread shite
Than do anything with worthwhile impact

(at least that’s the case this morning)

Hopefully that sets the bar for comments this coming week…