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1.  

   a pertinent link

   

   BBT, Jan 18th, 2011 @ 6:01am

   
   

   Here's a pertinent blog entry from biased competitor (and far superior site) OKCupid:
   
   http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/why-you-should-never-pay-for-online-dating/
   
   Uses the dating sites' published sites to show some interesting things. According to the blog,
   
   96% of eHarmony alleged 20 million profiles are dead
   You're 12x as likely to get married in a given year if you *aren't* on Match.com
   eHarmony, whose whole purpose and message is to help you find a spouse, fails to do so for 94% of the people who try.

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2.  

   

   Anonymous Coward, Jan 18th, 2011 @ 6:18am

   
   

   Well, I can account for BBT.. I had 0% luck on match, and 0% luck on eharmony, but 100% luck on plentyoffish.

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3.  

   Re: a pertinent link

   

   BBT, Jan 18th, 2011 @ 6:40am

   
   

   s/published sites/published stats

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4.  

   Hmmm...

   

   Jay (profile), Jan 18th, 2011 @ 6:43am

   
   

   I doubt that Match is the only one using these tactics. I bet that any other site does the same since people are kind of hard to predict.

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5.  

   All of the dating sites are scams

   

   Michial Thompson, Jan 18th, 2011 @ 6:45am

   
   

   100 of the dating sites out there are scams at one level or another, and practice borderline illegal tactics.
   
   They rarely deleted old unused accounts, they encourage fake profiles to boost their numbers, and probably the worst of it is that you pay to contact their member, but they forget to tell you that member has to pay to respond as well.
   
   WHY would women pay for a dating site at all???

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6.  

   All of the dating sites are scams

   

   Michial Thompson, Jan 18th, 2011 @ 6:46am

   
   

   100 of the dating sites out there are scams at one level or another, and practice borderline illegal tactics.
   
   They rarely deleted old unused accounts, they encourage fake profiles to boost their numbers, and probably the worst of it is that you pay to contact their member, but they forget to tell you that member has to pay to respond as well.
   
   WHY would women pay for a dating site at all???

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7.  

   Re: a pertinent link

   

   Matthew, Jan 18th, 2011 @ 6:47am

   
   

   eHarmony HAD a good idea. Their algorithms were pretty accurate in finding compatibility. Their guided communication system, while sometimes annoying, took a lot of the pressure out of making that initial contact. Unfortunately, as your post suggests, they chose to allow "dead" accounts to clog up the works, decreasing the signal-to-noise ratio for paying customers. The reason for this is probably that they considered the possible reactivation of one of those dead accounts to be a valuable source of income, while a paying customer had already paid up front. Back when the service was relatively new and the ratio of active to inactive accounts was high, I got a lot of good dates out of eHarmony, but their service has gone downhill.

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8.  

   

   Anonymous Coward, Jan 18th, 2011 @ 6:49am

   
   

   Ah dating sites. So hard to find an honest one... and it is incredibly rare to actually meet someone you would date from one since all of the good people are harassed and eventually jaded.

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9.  

   Re: Re: a pertinent link

   

   Dark Helmet (profile), Jan 18th, 2011 @ 6:55am

   
   

   "Back when the service was relatively new and the ratio of active to inactive accounts was high, I got a lot of good dates out of eHarmony, but their service has gone downhill."
   
   As someone who has never used an online dating site, I've always wanted to ask what the actual experience was like. I started a longterm relationship a couple years back, but even if I hadn't I couldn't see myself diving into the online dating scene. Not because I see anything intrinsically wrong with it, but I just can't get my head around the matchmaking aspect of it, which kills all the spontanaeity. I used to get the same shivers when people said they wanted to "set me up" with a friend of theirs. Ugh....

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10.  

    

    Anonymous Coward, Jan 18th, 2011 @ 7:03am

    
    

    Some sites are reported to be using various baiting techniques to get free account holders (people who create a profile but don't actually sign up for service) to cross the line and start paying.
    
    This is often done by having various girls send the guys "I am interested in you" notices, which cannot be replied to without being a full paying member. One the guy becomes a paying member, he finds that none of these girls ever actually reply. These accounts appear to be created by the site owners only for the purposes of the "come on" to get people to pay for the service.
    
    Many new dating sites also seed their systems with fake or canned profiles. There are people out there who do nothing but scrape images from facebook, flickr, and the like, and use those images as the basis of profiles. Others just go on dating sites and scrape profiles, and resell them.

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11.  

    Re: Re: Re: a pertinent link

    

    huh?, Jan 18th, 2011 @ 7:13am

    
    

    impertinent to a pertinent link

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12.  

    Re: Re: Re: a pertinent link

    

    Anonymous Coward, Jan 18th, 2011 @ 7:17am

    
    

    I was on Match, eHarmony and plentyoffish.com (free site, met my wife there).
    
    Dating sites are a good and easy way to get a first date. I spent a lot of time on my profile and put some things in there that would make people think "I don't like that" like my political affiliation, or a weird hobby. after looking at so many bland profiles, I wanted mine to stand out.
    
    Anyway, like I said it's super easy to get a first date (compared to more traditional ways of meeting people), and it seems like because of that some people are like "hmm... I don't like brown eyes, let me try the next one". On match and POF I think I only had one female start contact with me. (eHarmony makes it easy for the female to start communication, that was a positive). So the man seems to do all the starting communication. I personally had all my "first dates" at someplace very very casual, like a bookstore cafe, so nobody was "trapped".
    
    I had lots of first dates.. perhaps 20% of them went to second dates, and two turned into relationships.

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13.  

    Re: Re: Re: a pertinent link

    

    Hephaestus (profile), Jan 18th, 2011 @ 7:49am

    
    

    "I used to get the same shivers when people said they wanted to "set me up" with a friend of theirs."
    
    Yeah, there was the one with the facial piercings that acted like a sprinkler system everytime she laughed with wine in her mouth. Blind Dates ... Shiver!!!

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14.  

    Re: Re: Re: Re: a pertinent link

    

    Dark Helmet (profile), Jan 18th, 2011 @ 8:04am

    
    

    "Yeah, there was the one with the facial piercings that acted like a sprinkler system everytime she laughed with wine in her mouth. Blind Dates ... Shiver!!!"
    
    I got set up with a girl that seriously talked to me about her shoe shopping for nearly thirty minutes. I left halfway through the date and went drinking with some buddies and met another girl that night. I have to thank that horrible date for the assist I suppose....

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15.  

    Re: Re: Re: a pertinent link

    

    Matthew, Jan 18th, 2011 @ 8:25am

    
    

    Although for a minority, online dating might be described as "dating for the terribly busy," for the majority (myself among them), it's more like "dating for cowards." Ultimately, studying "pickup artistry" was much more useful in meeting women in more natural, "real" ways. (Contrary to popular belief, a lot of the early lessons of pickup artistry are about building self-confidence, overcome anxiety, and learning how to hold a natural conversation with other people.)

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16.  

    Re: Re: Re: a pertinent link

    

    Anonymous Coward, Jan 18th, 2011 @ 9:14am

    
    

    Match.com was a total wast of time, mostly people just fishing without a hook. went into eHarmony with few expectations ... I met my fiancee there. The guided process helped tremendously. I don't think I would have met her "normally"

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17.  

    

    Tom Landry (profile), Jan 18th, 2011 @ 10:22am

    
    

    actually, I don't think its match. The site has been struggling lately with Asian porn spammers and "@yahoo.com-whores". Each new profile is reviewed by a living person but if it stays within its guidelines there's not much they can do. I will say they probably tend to leave their abandoned profiles on longer than they should but members only need to look at the last time the person logged on. If it shows "over 3 months ago" (which is the longest time match bothers to report) one can be reasonably certain that said member is no longer active.
    
    I'm guessing that the suit is being brought by 1.) one law office who did a bit of finagling to get some "members" to agree to jump on the bandwagon so the suit could be initiated for profit and epic win (this is the likely scenario). Or 2.) Fat disgruntled pigs who couldn't attract flies with rotten meat stapled to their face.

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18.  

    Re: a pertinent link

    

    Brad Hubbard (profile), Jan 18th, 2011 @ 10:39am

    
    

    I was just about to post this - I love the OK Cupid Data blog - their articles are insightful and they expose you to the actual numbers they're using.

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19.  

    

    Anonymous Coward, Jan 18th, 2011 @ 2:14pm

    
    

    As an ominous coward, I'll admit to some things.
    
    I've used a few dating sites - some free, some pay. Of the ones I've used, Chemistry.com is the worst. Chemistry and Match are the same company.
    
    The ONLY contacts I ever received on Chemistry were fake. While I was a paid member, I had few matches actually show up in my queue and none ever hinted at responding - only a couple ever logged in long enough to click "not interested". I have to believe that a large number of those accounts were either fake or had been sitting there so long the person behind them was years gone. Once my subscription ran out, exactly as you mention here, I suddenly start getting craploads of messages saying "she is interested in you".
    
    Eharmony, on the other hand, was very different. I got lots of matches while I was a paid member. Most of them responded - some positively, some just to click 'not interested'. I communicated with quite a few people, and a couple led to dates. All in all, I feel like they were pretty honest.
    
    And to be thorough, I'll say that the free sites have been better. I won't say the name but the "largest free dating site" has been the most successful for me. I've talked to LOTS of people for free, had a good number of dates, some good, some bad, and one that may last :)
    
    But yeah, I wouldn't be surprised to find out Match is as fishy as Chemistry was for me. I also wouldn't be surprised to find out the same parent company owns a number of adult-oriented sites that are full of spammers and scammers.

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20.  

    

    harbingerofdoom (profile), Jan 21st, 2011 @ 6:14am

    
    

    so boggle me this:
    if the sites that are supposedly set up to match your profile with someone elses so that you are more likely to hit it off, why would anyone say not interested without so much as a how-do-you-do?
    
    that right there just screams ripoff... but maybe thats just me...

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21.  

    Dating sites...waste of my time, emotion and money. Regret!

    

    Mary, Jan 26th, 2011 @ 1:17am

    
    

    I joined one paid Christian dating site (Christianmingle.com), one 'free' one (realchristiansingles.com), and two general ones (Match.com and Chemistry.com). I had hoped to meet friends and possibly like-minded dating opportunities on at least one of them. The result? Zilch. I got scammer after scammer after scammer, winks from profiles I knew darn well were fake because of the model-perfect pictures, and ogled and emailed by guys that I had virtually nothing in common with. It's as if these sites totally ignore your preferences and send people waaaay older, waaaaay more out of your area of interest, and waaaaay not likeminded in terms of things like children, religion and politics. I got tons of winks and pushy IM attempts, but no one I was interested in even said boo back? I don't mean to brag, but I'm a catch and men notice me...I just can't find one that attracts me back so I thought I'd give online dating a try. Not one date out of hundreds and hundreds of views, received winks and even a few smiles and hello's of my own? So to me these sites are bogus. I regret being naive enough to think that these sites really understood how hard it is for quality singles to find quality singles, and that we have emotions that get jerked around hard by their statistic-padding and fake profile-allowing tactics. I'm not just frustrated, I'm angry. I'm a smart cookie, but was vulnerable enough and hopeful enough that I just got flat-out duped. It hasn't made my post-divorce life any easier emotionally.

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22.  

    Re: Agreed, Match and Chemistry are lame.

    

    Mary, Jan 26th, 2011 @ 1:23am

    
    

    I can't add a thing to what you wrote...Chemistry has been an utter dead end, too. I'm just giving up on online dating, and trusting that it's all a scene that just isn't right for me. It just kinda wore me out, and ended up being a pointless distraction in the end. I wish I could warn everyone to just stay away from them, really...at least guard your money, and for sure your heart. Thanks for weighing in.

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23.  

    Good point!

    

    Mary, Jan 26th, 2011 @ 1:26am

    
    

    You know, you are sooo right about the statistics and how misleading they are...just goes to show 'How to Lie with Statistics' is still a bestseller. :) The irony. I have read that the failure rates are actually more like 99%...that only 1% of registrants on dating sites ever meet their mate online. I wonder what the stats are on scammers? It's brutal...I got hurt twice before I clued into this aspect of the online dating world. I know I keep saying this, but folks, just stay away. It's just too fraught with problems.

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24.  

    Match

    

    Aaron, Mar 24th, 2011 @ 5:12pm

    
    

    I've been on match for awhile (not after the next few days when my subscription expires) and have gotten a few responses. The trouble is, with the exception of one person I already knew and lived a few blocks away, they've all been fake profiles, scammers, or what DO seem like staff trying to get me to renew or keep interest. The only few REAL replies have mostly been a few separated stay at home mom's looking for the next meal ticket sporting a few sexy photos that give a clue to stay away. Unfortuanately, I'm divorced, financially stable and responsible, have a home, paid for vehicle, don't drink much at all, don't smoke...etc. But, I'm 5'5" tall. I've never had really a problem talking to women in person but don't like bars. Sites like match give a great opportunity, but I think people go into it like they're picking out their next new car. Don't like the color exactly, move to the next. Not give enough, move to the next. What really got me about match was the fake interest that what seemed like staffers showed then suddenly stopped any correspondence and disappeared when a few e-mails were exchanged. It does suck when I'm eager to get back and check e-mail to find out it was staff or scamming. I hardly like wasting my time chatting away at someone laughing on the other side.

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25.  

    sex

    

    Devon, Jun 18th, 2011 @ 1:12am

    
    

    How old are you?are you good in bed and are you sexy?

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26.  

    Re:

    

    Chris, Jul 19th, 2011 @ 6:31am

    
    

    Match.com is so obvious with this.
    I had a subscription for 3 months, the whole time not one girl would reply to emails or winks. And almost get nobody viewing my profile even after sending emails out to many different girls. But the day after my subscription expires I get a notification that someone sent me an email. Then about a week later, I get the notification that someone added me as a favorite. Then a few days later, someone else added me as a favorite. I also get all these 'someone viewed your profile. All these notifications to persuade me to renew my subscription.
    Which I know if I do, I'll find out that the girl who sent me the email, will either say 'inactive for over 3 weeks' or the profile will be deleted. Same with ones who saved me as a favorite.
    
    It's a huge scam to try and get people to renew, and I really think this should be illegal. I hope that court case goes forward.

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27.  

    MATCH FAKES

    

    BURKE, Aug 17th, 2011 @ 3:53pm

    
    

    IT IS SO SO TRUE....I HAVE SEEN IT MANY TIMES

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28.  

    fakerssss

    

    Wink2date, Sep 22nd, 2011 @ 4:58pm

    
    

    That says it all really they need to lie to get customers very low.

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29.  

    

    ItIsReallySuspicious, Nov 20th, 2011 @ 1:02pm

    
    

    My match subscription is up for renewal at the end of this month. Starting about 2 months ago but with increasing frequency over the past month - i will get a wink or be favorited by someone who seems, maybe just slightly out of my league to be honest, not a supermodel but certainly attractive female 2-5 years younger then me. What is odd is that, like clockwork, within 24 hours of that "contact" I will be met with the oops this profile is not available when I try to click on it. This is before I've even gotten a chance to screw it up! Maybe there is an explanation for this outside of some something sketchy going on but I can't imagine what it could be. Sure maybe once or twice, but now I just laugh about it as soon as I get the wink and without fail my suspicions are confirmed when I go to look at the profile even hours later - and it is "unavailable".

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30.  

    fake profiles

    

    biptu, Nov 28th, 2011 @ 7:33pm

    
    

    Yeah this stuff needs to stop! Free sights like POF.com and OKCupid.com dont do things like that. I stopped paying for dating sight along time ago. Singlesnet.com , for some reason is packed with scammers. where as IHookup.com, and speeddate.com are packed with "Yahoo whores" as someone stated.lol. Then there are just the plain nasty ones like amaturematch.com and xxdatebook.com that are packed with with everything, mainly obvious profiles that are generated for the sole reason to lure you to pay for subscriptions. Even sights like AreYouInterested.com send fake emails. Wonder what FaceBook thinks of that. Then they are sights like zoosk, who recently started charging for emails etc, and actually have the gull to respond for the member your sending a flirt too. Im starting to wonder if its not easier to just go the bars and blow 100 bucks or more, just to at least get honest rejections...

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31.  

    Re: All of the dating sites are scams

    

    Tsetse, Jan 27th, 2012 @ 5:15pm

    
    

    Yeah, why would women pay for a dating site unless they are fat, unattractive, insecure, or just too plain picky(in which case they will never be happy)? I meet more men out in the real world who are single than I do women. I suppose there is a gender imbalance in my area though.

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32.  

    Match.com is a scam and eHarmony is a lost cause

    

    Tsetse, Jan 27th, 2012 @ 5:39pm

    
    

    I have been on dating websites since 2000. I started out with Matchmaker.com which had a few second dates and a short-term relationship on. That went downhill in 2004 so I quit. I was have been on eHarmony since December of 2003. I have only had one time dates and ever since moving to Oregon for school I have not dated one damned woman, whether on or off the website. I started Match.com a couple of months ago, sent out so many e-mails I cannot even count them and have not received a single reply. Now, surely if a good number of these people were real at least somebody would respond. I have recently received a good number of winks since I put up one of my more spiffy-looking images only to receive the notification: "Oops, that member profile is unavailable at this time" when I click on their photo. I'm getting tired of internet dating. I have a lot going for me, I just don't have the woman. I'm thinking about finding a mail-order wife from South America.

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33.  

    Dating

    

    Michael, Jan 28th, 2012 @ 8:54pm

    
    

    Yeah fake profiles I'd say are on both payed and free sites. The pay for sites lure you in thinking there are quality people on here, and they don't necessarily have to be supermodels but someone decent all around, you pay to contact the person then no reply of course. Then you're left with the sub par people's you'd normally not be interested in anyway.
    Then sites like POF which are free make money from advertising on their site, the more members they can get to sign up the more they charge for advertising.
    Yep dating in the 21 century is tough, no matter what route you try. Empathy to all singles out there still looking...including me!

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34.  

    

    Anonymous Coward, Mar 20th, 2012 @ 5:14am

    
    

    This is true. In my experience match.com makes their money from fake users who fish for private information from legitimate users. The fake users far outnumber the legitimate users. In fact there are almost no legitimate users. I switched from match.com to eharmony but it is the same thing, just more expensive. This is true for okcupid as well, except it is free unless you upgrade.
    
    They are all places for people to steal your photos and private info for their own personal gain. You will rarely meet a real person on these sites.
    
    For example, they will often offer to meet with you and give you a number to call them hoping that you will call them when they won't show up so they can get your phone number. This has happened to me several times, except I never called these numbers. Do not ever give out any personal information to anyone unless you've met them already and you know they are a real person.
    
    I am canceling all of my accounts. It is too dangerous and there are no regulations protecting consumers.

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35.  

    Re: Re: All of the dating sites are scams

    

    SpinningAround, Apr 19th, 2012 @ 11:18am

    
    

    You're gross and undateable

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