Florida Man Sues Wikileaks Over The Personal Distress It Caused Him

from the enterprisingly-wasteful dept

While the US government is struggling to come up with something (anything!) to bring Julian Assange to court over, one man in Florida has taken matters into his own hands. Slashdot points us to the news that a guy in Florida, David Pitchford, has apparently sued Wikileaks for all the distress it has caused him, claiming that the leaks have resulted in "hypertension," "depression" and "living in fear of being stricken by another heart attack and/or stroke" as a result of living "in fear of being on the brink of another nuclear [sic] WAR."' The full complaint is embedded below, and it's quite amusing. He's also afraid that others must be similarly suffering, and the impact of this will be to "diminish the Medicaid benifits [sic] that the Plainiff [sic] Depennds [sic] apon [sic] for health care in that the United States is Out of money." Mr. Pitchford is demanding (respectfully) $150 million dollars (well, "dollors" according to him).

According to the Superkuh blog, Mr. Pitchford in the past has tried similar tactics in suing Osama bin Laden. Of course, he also threatened to sue Superkuh for distress, after the blogger indicated he did not agree with Pitchford's lawsuits. It appears he likes to sue. Pitchford indicated that he didn't believe "any internet based medium could be a real member of the press." Another amusing bit was when Superkuh pointed out Wikileaks' relationship with various large media organizations such as the Guardian. In the lawsuit complaint, you can see that Pitchford claims that "after exhaustive research" he has determined that Wikileaks and Assange "have no known association with any known jourlism [sic] entity with the exception of that which is self proclaimed." You would think that an association with The Guardian or other major newspapers (including, in the past, the NY Times) would point out the problem with this line of argument. Instead, Pitchford suggested he planned to sue The Guardian too. Oh, and the Associated Press as well, which is guilty of talking about the leaks. In other words, don't expect this lawsuit to get any traction at all.


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    The eejit (profile), Jan 14th, 2011 @ 7:34am

    The only appropriate response is:

    man what

     

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  • This comment has been flagged by the community. Click here to show it
     
    identicon
    Anonymous, Jan 14th, 2011 @ 7:49am

    ...

    Pussy.

     

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    Jason, Jan 14th, 2011 @ 7:57am

    Vexed?

    Somebody needs to make use of Florida's vexatious litigant law so that this guy has to get court approval to file these suits.

     

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    Anonymous Coward, Jan 14th, 2011 @ 7:57am

    Mike be careful, you might get sued for talking about it!

     

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      superkuh, Jan 14th, 2011 @ 9:04am

      Re: be careful

      This has crossed my mind more than once. I really don't want to be sued for libel for something in my write-up! I hope I did okay, even if the grammar is not great.

       

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    Dark Helmet (profile), Jan 14th, 2011 @ 8:03am

    This reminds me...

    Back in my high school days, I was a HUGE fan of Adam Carrola. As such, I used to listen to Love Line on a nightly basis. There was a stretch there when Adam used to do a segment called "Germany or Florida" in which callers had to call in with stories of immense stupidity, vulgarity, or obscenity. Once the horrific act was on display, Adam would have to guess whether the story occurred in Germany or Florida, as Adam long considered Germany to be a haven of weirdness and evil.

    The answer was almost ALWAYS Florida....

     

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    Don, Jan 14th, 2011 @ 8:14am

    Build a bunker

    So what's the man gonna do, build a bunker.

     

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    Jeremy Lyman (profile), Jan 14th, 2011 @ 8:34am

    Answers

    I don't think $150 million will fix this. The only solution I can see is a nice quiet rubber room; far away from the media, courts, and the rest of the normals.

     

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    Johnny B. Goode, Jan 14th, 2011 @ 8:44am

    re: Pitchford

    Long live freedom of the press.

     

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    Gabriel Tane (profile), Jan 14th, 2011 @ 8:48am

    Finally

    He may not be a soldier, but at least we now have proof (PROOF I say!) that the Wikileaks cables are endangering someone. Hmm... I guess I'll go hang up the whole "please provide proof of increased risk" thing now, huh.

    Thanks my fellow Floridian for helping that cause!

    /sarcasm, (start)shame-induced-alcohol-binge.

     

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    iamtheky (profile), Jan 14th, 2011 @ 9:07am

    Flagged Post is like wrapping a steaming pile and labeling it with a pretty pink and faded bow that says "Everybody else saw this and decided that you shouldnt."

    Does anybody not open those?

     

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    SUNWARD (profile), Jan 14th, 2011 @ 9:07am

    spell check

    needs to be used in more space than the spelling of "dollor."

    He gives his address as a Stadium Trailer Park. No further comment needed.

     

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    Anonymous Coward, Jan 14th, 2011 @ 9:21am

    Someone tell this guy that he's supposed to take his meds every day, not just when he feels like it.

     

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    Anonymous Coward, Jan 14th, 2011 @ 9:46am

    He's suing for a total of 150 million USD in the complaint, but at Gizmodo.com they have a fourth page beyond what's embedded here; at the bottom of that page (where it's noted the filing is 'pro se'), it says "Demand 1.5 mil injunctive".

    http://gizmodo.com/5733307/wikileaks-lawsuit-documents-gallery/gallery/4

    Are those dollor amounts supposed to match?

     

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    Old Fool (profile), Jan 14th, 2011 @ 9:47am

    I love stuff like this, 'Guess the guys intentions', is he bored? having a laugh? greedy beyond measure? or just plain bat-shit-crazy?

    Every time I read TechDirt I wonder if I shouldn't take out a patent for 'System of Inhaling Air using muscles to pull a diaphragm below lungs' Then every one who breaths must give me money.
    I was also wondering, does anyone hold copyright on the 3 primary colors?

     

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    pantha (profile), Jan 14th, 2011 @ 10:03am

    idiot

    I'm thinking about suing this idiot for theft!!!

    theft of oxygen.

    what a f---in d--- head.

     

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    Anonymous Coward, Jan 14th, 2011 @ 10:25am

    Demanding 150 million "dollors" will no doubt fill Julian Assange with deep sorrow.

     

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    Fredric L. Rice, Jan 14th, 2011 @ 10:28am

    Scientology criminal

    This clown sounds like a Scientology criminal. The Scientology crime syndicate also tries to sue everybody on the Internet who mentions the name "Xenu" or "Body Thetans" or brings up their murder of Lisa McPherson and no end of lunacy.

    Are you should this guy's name isn't Helena Kobrin? Kendrick Moxon? David Miscavige? Or some other well-known Scientology crime boss?

     

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    Fredric L. Rice, Jan 14th, 2011 @ 10:33am

    Nope, not Scientology connected

    A search for "David Pitchford" among Scientology shows that he's not a known Scientology loon.

     

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    BBT, Jan 14th, 2011 @ 10:45am

    I like the "[sic]" between two correctly spelled words (nuclear war).

     

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      Anonymous Coward, Jan 14th, 2011 @ 11:05am

      Re:

      since it indicates any unusual orthography, the all caps WAR could certainly warrant the mark, but i would think then it would go after the text.

       

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        aldestrawk (profile), Jan 14th, 2011 @ 1:59pm

        Re: Re:

        I think Mike has a problem in intentionally misspelling nuclear. It happens to the best of us. I have to focus to spell it the way it appears in the complaint as nucliar (sic). I think even George Bush would have trouble with that spelling.

         

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          TechDan (profile), Jan 14th, 2011 @ 2:47pm

          Re: Re: Re:

          Hmm. I actually assumed it was in reference to the word "another," considering that we have yet to have even one nuclear war*. Can't "[sic]" also denote factual inaccuracy? I might've learned it incorrectly.


          World War II does not count.

           

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    John D (profile), Jan 14th, 2011 @ 10:47am

    How many million dollors?!

    He asks for 50 million 'dollors' in punitive damages, but writes '500,000.00.' 500k != 50,000,000. Is that the dollar to dollor exchange rate?

     

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    Anonymous Coward, Jan 14th, 2011 @ 1:04pm

    Re: How many million dollors?!

    Reminds me of the classic 0.002 cents versus 0.002 dollars debacle. Does this guy work for Verizon?

     

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    Anonymous Howard, Jan 14th, 2011 @ 3:11pm

    Judge will bitch slap him- resulting in humor.

     

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    Any Mouse (profile), Jan 14th, 2011 @ 10:06pm

    Correct Venue?

    Since Wikileaks isn't a US company, is this even the proper venue for him to be filing? I would think he'd have to travel to Australia and file there, so wouldn't that be yet another fail?

     

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    Anonymous Coward, Jan 14th, 2011 @ 10:46pm

    Someone needs to stick a Pitchfork into Pitchford

     

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    Anonymous Coward, Jan 14th, 2011 @ 10:46pm

    Someone needs to stick a Pitchfork into Pitchford

     

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