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Too Much Free Time

by Mike Masnick

Fri, Jan 14th 2011 7:44am




Filed Under:
personal distress, wikileaks

Companies:
wikileaks


Florida Man Sues Wikileaks Over The Personal Distress It Caused Him

from the enterprisingly-wasteful dept

While the US government is struggling to come up with something (anything!) to bring Julian Assange to court over, one man in Florida has taken matters into his own hands. Slashdot points us to the news that a guy in Florida, David Pitchford, has apparently sued Wikileaks for all the distress it has caused him, claiming that the leaks have resulted in "hypertension," "depression" and "living in fear of being stricken by another heart attack and/or stroke" as a result of living "in fear of being on the brink of another nuclear [sic] WAR."' The full complaint is embedded below, and it's quite amusing. He's also afraid that others must be similarly suffering, and the impact of this will be to "diminish the Medicaid benifits [sic] that the Plainiff [sic] Depennds [sic] apon [sic] for health care in that the United States is Out of money." Mr. Pitchford is demanding (respectfully) $150 million dollars (well, "dollors" according to him).

According to the Superkuh blog, Mr. Pitchford in the past has tried similar tactics in suing Osama bin Laden. Of course, he also threatened to sue Superkuh for distress, after the blogger indicated he did not agree with Pitchford's lawsuits. It appears he likes to sue. Pitchford indicated that he didn't believe "any internet based medium could be a real member of the press." Another amusing bit was when Superkuh pointed out Wikileaks' relationship with various large media organizations such as the Guardian. In the lawsuit complaint, you can see that Pitchford claims that "after exhaustive research" he has determined that Wikileaks and Assange "have no known association with any known jourlism [sic] entity with the exception of that which is self proclaimed." You would think that an association with The Guardian or other major newspapers (including, in the past, the NY Times) would point out the problem with this line of argument. Instead, Pitchford suggested he planned to sue The Guardian too. Oh, and the Associated Press as well, which is guilty of talking about the leaks. In other words, don't expect this lawsuit to get any traction at all.

32 Comments | Leave a Comment..


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  1.  
    icon
    The eejit (profile), Jan 14th, 2011 @ 7:34am

    The only appropriate response is:

    man what

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  2. This comment has been flagged by the community. Click to show the comment.
     

    ...

    identicon
    Anonymous, Jan 14th, 2011 @ 7:49am

    Pussy.

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  3.  

    Vexed?

    identicon
    Jason, Jan 14th, 2011 @ 7:57am

    Somebody needs to make use of Florida's vexatious litigant law so that this guy has to get court approval to file these suits.

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  4.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jan 14th, 2011 @ 7:57am

    Mike be careful, you might get sued for talking about it!

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  5.  

    This reminds me...

    icon
    Dark Helmet (profile), Jan 14th, 2011 @ 8:03am

    Back in my high school days, I was a HUGE fan of Adam Carrola. As such, I used to listen to Love Line on a nightly basis. There was a stretch there when Adam used to do a segment called "Germany or Florida" in which callers had to call in with stories of immense stupidity, vulgarity, or obscenity. Once the horrific act was on display, Adam would have to guess whether the story occurred in Germany or Florida, as Adam long considered Germany to be a haven of weirdness and evil.

    The answer was almost ALWAYS Florida....

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  6.  

    Build a bunker

    identicon
    Don, Jan 14th, 2011 @ 8:14am

    So what's the man gonna do, build a bunker.

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  7.  

    Re: This reminds me...

    identicon
    Anonymous Poster, Jan 14th, 2011 @ 8:14am

    tl;dr - Florida is Crazyland.

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  8.  

    Re: This reminds me...

    icon
    Berenerd (profile), Jan 14th, 2011 @ 8:30am

    God I miss that show....

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  9.  

    Answers

    icon
    Jeremy Lyman (profile), Jan 14th, 2011 @ 8:34am

    I don't think $150 million will fix this. The only solution I can see is a nice quiet rubber room; far away from the media, courts, and the rest of the normals.

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  10.  

    re: Pitchford

    identicon
    Johnny B. Goode, Jan 14th, 2011 @ 8:44am

    Long live freedom of the press.

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  11.  

    Finally

    icon
    Gabriel Tane (profile), Jan 14th, 2011 @ 8:48am

    He may not be a soldier, but at least we now have proof (PROOF I say!) that the Wikileaks cables are endangering someone. Hmm... I guess I'll go hang up the whole "please provide proof of increased risk" thing now, huh.

    Thanks my fellow Floridian for helping that cause!

    /sarcasm, (start)shame-induced-alcohol-binge.

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  12.  

    Re: be careful

    identicon
    superkuh, Jan 14th, 2011 @ 9:04am

    This has crossed my mind more than once. I really don't want to be sued for libel for something in my write-up! I hope I did okay, even if the grammar is not great.

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  13.  
    icon
    iamtheky (profile), Jan 14th, 2011 @ 9:07am

    Flagged Post is like wrapping a steaming pile and labeling it with a pretty pink and faded bow that says "Everybody else saw this and decided that you shouldnt."

    Does anybody not open those?

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  14.  

    spell check

    icon
    SUNWARD (profile), Jan 14th, 2011 @ 9:07am

    needs to be used in more space than the spelling of "dollor."

    He gives his address as a Stadium Trailer Park. No further comment needed.

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  15.  

    Re:

    identicon
    Jason, Jan 14th, 2011 @ 9:13am

    Yes, of course we open them. We just make sure the boss isn't standing behind us first.

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  16.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jan 14th, 2011 @ 9:21am

    Someone tell this guy that he's supposed to take his meds every day, not just when he feels like it.

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  17.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jan 14th, 2011 @ 9:46am

    He's suing for a total of 150 million USD in the complaint, but at Gizmodo.com they have a fourth page beyond what's embedded here; at the bottom of that page (where it's noted the filing is 'pro se'), it says "Demand 1.5 mil injunctive".

    http://gizmodo.com/5733307/wikileaks-lawsuit-documents-gallery/gallery/4

    Are those dollor amounts supposed to match?

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  18.  
    icon
    Old Fool (profile), Jan 14th, 2011 @ 9:47am

    I love stuff like this, 'Guess the guys intentions', is he bored? having a laugh? greedy beyond measure? or just plain bat-shit-crazy?

    Every time I read TechDirt I wonder if I shouldn't take out a patent for 'System of Inhaling Air using muscles to pull a diaphragm below lungs' Then every one who breaths must give me money.
    I was also wondering, does anyone hold copyright on the 3 primary colors?

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  19.  

    idiot

    icon
    pantha (profile), Jan 14th, 2011 @ 10:03am

    I'm thinking about suing this idiot for theft!!!

    theft of oxygen.

    what a f---in d--- head.

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  20.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jan 14th, 2011 @ 10:25am

    Demanding 150 million "dollors" will no doubt fill Julian Assange with deep sorrow.

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  21.  

    Scientology criminal

    identicon
    Fredric L. Rice, Jan 14th, 2011 @ 10:28am

    This clown sounds like a Scientology criminal. The Scientology crime syndicate also tries to sue everybody on the Internet who mentions the name "Xenu" or "Body Thetans" or brings up their murder of Lisa McPherson and no end of lunacy.

    Are you should this guy's name isn't Helena Kobrin? Kendrick Moxon? David Miscavige? Or some other well-known Scientology crime boss?

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  22.  

    Nope, not Scientology connected

    identicon
    Fredric L. Rice, Jan 14th, 2011 @ 10:33am

    A search for "David Pitchford" among Scientology shows that he's not a known Scientology loon.

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  23.  
    identicon
    BBT, Jan 14th, 2011 @ 10:45am

    I like the "[sic]" between two correctly spelled words (nuclear war).

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  24.  

    How many million dollors?!

    icon
    John D (profile), Jan 14th, 2011 @ 10:47am

    He asks for 50 million 'dollors' in punitive damages, but writes '500,000.00.' 500k != 50,000,000. Is that the dollar to dollor exchange rate?

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  25.  

    Re:

    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jan 14th, 2011 @ 11:05am

    since it indicates any unusual orthography, the all caps WAR could certainly warrant the mark, but i would think then it would go after the text.

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  26.  

    Re: How many million dollors?!

    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jan 14th, 2011 @ 1:04pm

    Reminds me of the classic 0.002 cents versus 0.002 dollars debacle. Does this guy work for Verizon?

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  27.  

    Re: Re:

    icon
    aldestrawk (profile), Jan 14th, 2011 @ 1:59pm

    I think Mike has a problem in intentionally misspelling nuclear. It happens to the best of us. I have to focus to spell it the way it appears in the complaint as nucliar (sic). I think even George Bush would have trouble with that spelling.

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  28.  

    Re: Re: Re:

    icon
    TechDan (profile), Jan 14th, 2011 @ 2:47pm

    Hmm. I actually assumed it was in reference to the word "another," considering that we have yet to have even one nuclear war*. Can't "[sic]" also denote factual inaccuracy? I might've learned it incorrectly.


    World War II does not count.

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  29.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Howard, Jan 14th, 2011 @ 3:11pm

    Judge will bitch slap him- resulting in humor.

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  30.  

    Correct Venue?

    icon
    Any Mouse (profile), Jan 14th, 2011 @ 10:06pm

    Since Wikileaks isn't a US company, is this even the proper venue for him to be filing? I would think he'd have to travel to Australia and file there, so wouldn't that be yet another fail?

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  31.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jan 14th, 2011 @ 10:46pm

    Someone needs to stick a Pitchfork into Pitchford

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  32.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jan 14th, 2011 @ 10:46pm

    Someone needs to stick a Pitchfork into Pitchford

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]


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