Some Modest Proposals To 'Save' Other Industries

from the jonathan-swift-would-be-proud dept

greenbird writes "In light of the RIAA/NAB negotiations to require FM radios in all portable devices Wired's Underwire column has a brilliant idea to "save" the newspaper industry. Require e-reader sellers to give a free parakeet with every e-reader. It goes on to other brilliant plans to save dieing industries such as the Mapmakers and Travel Agents."

Given some of the bizarre rationales for saving certain industries, I don't think any of these satirical suggestions are really any more ridiculous...


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(Flattened / Threaded)

  1.  
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    Steve R. (profile), Aug 24th, 2010 @ 1:52pm

    New Industries Emerge Old Ones Fade Out

    We are supposed to be a free-market system. New technologies always emerge, there are winners and for the lack of a better politically correct term, losers. Progress unfortunately requires adaptation. Regretfully, the dying industries in their attempt to survive assert that they have to deprive the consumer of their (consumer) rights including the freedom to choose. Unfortunately or political leaders have been accepting this premise without considering its effect on the free-market system. Basically, we have an entitlement/welfare society to protect those who can't adapt.

     

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  2.  
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    :Lobo Santo (profile), Aug 24th, 2010 @ 2:14pm

    Re: New Industries Emerge Old Ones Fade Out

    I agree.

    Also, "loser" is the old way of spelling it, it's now "L├╝ser." Make note to remember the umlaut, it's important.

     

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  3.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Aug 24th, 2010 @ 2:14pm

    Kill a banker use bitcoin. OOps! I mean Save a banker.

    Endangered speicies ACT of 2011 will try to also save, the labels, the hundreds of fronts they use, Bono, Studios, TV stations, News etc.

     

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  4.  
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    Karl (profile), Aug 24th, 2010 @ 2:15pm

    NAB, not RIAA

    In defense of the RIAA (shudder), it was actually the National Association of Broadcasters who said that MP3 players and cell phones should be required to have radios.

    They told the RIAA to support that law, in exchange for the NAB supporting performance royalties for terrestrial radio.

    I'm not entirely convinced it wasn't a joke on the NAB's part.

     

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  5.  
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    slander (profile), Aug 24th, 2010 @ 3:13pm

    Wait--Wired is still around?

     

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  6.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Aug 24th, 2010 @ 3:31pm

    Re:

    Thanks to careful government lobbying in Uzbekistan. We're spreading the petition to get their two-ply back, but until then, they can feel proud knowing that they're keeping the magazine in business.

     

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  7.  
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    Big Al, Aug 24th, 2010 @ 3:46pm

    Re: Re: New Industries Emerge Old Ones Fade Out

    Having read comments on blogs for many years, I thought the new accepted term was 'looser'.

     

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  8.  
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    Anonymous Howard, Aug 24th, 2010 @ 4:34pm

    you can get any fm radio station on your phone already (streaming)

     

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  9.  
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    Pixelation, Aug 24th, 2010 @ 5:43pm

    The children...

    I think the RIAA needs to save the children before their industry. I mean which is more important, FM radios or children? They won't because they hate children.

    I crack me up.

     

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  10.  
    identicon
    PhilD, Aug 25th, 2010 @ 12:44am

    free parakeets?

    Wow,
    That's a novel idea, their songs would easily replace the drivel I hear on the radio nowadays, at least till the cats got to them.

    I can tell you, I don't look forward to cleaning that up.

     

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  11.  
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    drm made me into a pirate? (profile), Aug 25th, 2010 @ 1:51am

    long live buggy whips

    installation of pain modules at birth is the best way to ensure compliance with the will of hollywood

    hooray perversion!

     

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  12.  
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    Hephaestus (profile), Aug 25th, 2010 @ 7:04am

    to funny ....

    "Require companies to bundle a parakeet with every new tablet or e-reader device.

    This will create a groundswell of demand for newsprint with which to line the cages of the federally mandated house pets. I strongly suggest that all the major news consortium start talking to their representatives about making this a reality. This could have saved Cathy, dammit!"

     

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  13.  
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    Killer_Tofu (profile), Aug 25th, 2010 @ 7:28am

    Alt-Text

    I love Alt-Text. It is hilarious and I was glad when it became a weekly posting at Wired instead of Monthly. To be honest its about the only thing I read on Wired anymore these days.

     

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  14.  
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    bshock, Aug 25th, 2010 @ 10:26am

    some cute illustrations of this in a comic

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]


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