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Segway Announces The Most Understated Merger Ever

from the so-yeah-we-were-acquired-by-somebody-some-time-ago dept

Considering the amount of hype and buzz that came about when Dean Kamen's Segway was first introduced, it seems like the company is going for the exact opposite in discussing its recent merger with a UK company. The company didn't even mention it for nearly a month, and only said something once rumors started spreading, and then the blog post they put up about it gives very little in the way of detail. They don't even mention the company's name:
Segway Inc. is pleased to announce that in connection with a merger that occurred on December 24, 2009, Segway was acquired by a company that is based in the United Kingdom. The acquiring company is backed by Jimi Heselden, a prominent U.K. businessman and the Chairman of Hesco Bastion. Mr. Heselden is also an investor in the independently owned Segway U.K. distributorship.
The company also got some funding (and lost its latest in a long, long, long line of CEOs), but in an interview with the local paper, Dean Kamen admits that he doesn't even know who the new investor is.


Reader Comments (rss)

(Flattened / Threaded)

  1.  
    icon
    Dark Helmet (profile), Jan 15th, 2010 @ 6:20am

    Answer

    "Dean Kamen admits that he doesn't even know who the new investor is."

    This is easy. That's because Mr. Heselden is also known as Number Two, and the unknown company they merged with is Dr. Evil's Evil Corp.

    Can't you just see Dr. Evil mandating that all of his henchman zip around his evil volcano lair on those idiotic things? With a tiny little one made for Mini-Me?

    Well!!?? CAN'T YOU!!?????

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  2.  
    identicon
    MarkG, Jan 15th, 2010 @ 6:31am

    Front Company Alert

    It's this company, I'm sure

    heseldenhats

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  3.  
    icon
    PopeRatzo (profile), Jan 15th, 2010 @ 6:35am

    The Magician's Friend

    I still can't believe sales of Segways didn't take off after Gob looked so cool tooling around on one in Arrested Development.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  4.  
    identicon
    John Doe, Jan 15th, 2010 @ 6:36am

    Solution to what?

    Talk about a solution in search of a problem. Other than mall cops and city police, I don't see anybody needing these.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  5.  
    identicon
    BenJHare, Jan 15th, 2010 @ 6:52am

    All well and good but...

    ...Segway's are completely useless in the UK anyway - our law system means they're not allowed on roads, or footpaths. They're only good for private properties or shopping centres!

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  6.  
    icon
    technomage (profile), Jan 15th, 2010 @ 7:09am

    Re: Answer

    bad BAD BAD visual DH

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  7.  
    icon
    Bubba Gump (profile), Jan 15th, 2010 @ 8:00am

    Re: Answer

    WIN!

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  8.  
    identicon
    hhe to haha, Jan 15th, 2010 @ 9:16am

    Re: Answer

    His evil frickin' lair was destroyed by liquid hot maag-mah

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]


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