Reader Comments (rss)

(Flattened / Threaded)

1.  

   

   Ima Fish (profile), Jul 22nd, 2009 @ 1:33pm

   
   

   "$500 annual fee for the card"
   
   For that much money it'd better come with free bi-monthly blow jobs

   [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

2.  

   Re:

   

   Jaws4theRevenge, Jul 22nd, 2009 @ 1:43pm

   
   

   Make it tri-monthly and you've got a deal.

   [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

3.  

   It's recycling, Masnick...

   

   Dark Helmet (profile), Jul 22nd, 2009 @ 1:50pm

   
   

   "I guess if you're the sort of person interested in spending so much money on a credit card, perhaps you'll pay extra to have carbon in your credit card. Still doesn't make much sense here..."
   
   It's all part of the Green Revolution. The card is actually made in part from the carbon footprint of Visa's worldwide corporation as an effort to recycle.
   
   So what you do, is you pay the $500 annual fee to pay for the process that infuses these cards with the carbon emission (to avoid lengthy detail, this process basically consists of stapling roughly 100 blank cards onto a brown-skinned person and then helicopter dropping them into a smokestack, which is where they get their dark colored card). This allows you, the largely retarded consumer to buy stuff with Visa's carbon infused credit card, which increases their bottom line, allowing them to make MORE carbon infused cards, for more recycling.
   
   So either you buy the Black Card, or you hate nature. Why do you hate puppies, Mr. Masnick?

   [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

4.  

   It's very common

   

   Designerfx (profile), Jul 22nd, 2009 @ 1:50pm

   
   

   Mike, somewhere along the lines more than just credit card companies have thought "patent pending" is a great marketing term. I work for an engineering company and all day I get people proposing ideas to me about how they have the next big thing and it's patent pending and it's usually something blissfully obvious (and marginally changed). Example: the steel girders used to hold up buildings are nothing new. Yet all the time we get people wanting to have new ones approved. Yes, *new ones*, not that anyone else has tried some different varying percentage of metals together before. Anywhere where the percent is between 0 and 100 is something that has been done, whether you add something nonmetallic as well or not.

   [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

5.  

   american express black card

   

   slacker525600 (profile), Jul 22nd, 2009 @ 1:51pm

   
   

   http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Centurion_Card#Availability_and_fees

   [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

6.  

   The Black Card

   

   Top %1 of Americans, Jul 22nd, 2009 @ 1:54pm

   
   

   Gotta love how this "made with carbon" exclusive VISA card has "The Black Card" printed in huge letters across the front of the card. As if it would fail to impress the store clerk by simply being black (and carbon), it needs a huge self-descriptive title printed on it.
   
   Best part is that my Citibank Diamond Mastercard is already black, comes with betters features, benefits, and points, and is $495/year cheaper than "The Black Card".

   [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

7.  

   Green card

   

   Avatar28 (profile), Jul 22nd, 2009 @ 2:15pm

   
   

   @DarkHelmet You stole my thunder as they like to say on talk radio. The idea that it's a green card infused with carbon, thus removing it from the atmosphere, was exactly what I thought of.
   
   Then again, diamonds are also carbon. Maybe the carbon is in the form of diamond dust mixed with the plastic. Might explain the $500/yr fee.

   [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

8.  

   Re: The Black Card

   

   Me, Jul 22nd, 2009 @ 2:16pm

   
   

   You need a better Citibank Diamond Mastercard my friend. Mine is indeed black, has better features, benefits, and points, but has a $0 annual fee, $5 cheaper than yours. Look into getting that.

   [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

9.  

   Carbon infused?

   

   Sirk, Jul 22nd, 2009 @ 2:17pm

   
   

   It has been a few years since I did any chemistry but isn't the normal card made from hydrocarbons anyway being plastic?

   [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

10.  

    patent misuse anyone?

    

    Dmitriy Plaks (profile), Jul 22nd, 2009 @ 2:18pm

    
    

    So if we take the claim of "carbon and/or carbon based material" to the extreme as many patent hoarders do all the time, does this mean that if this patent is granted that all carbon based credit cards are covered? This is a problem for one main reason: most (if not all) plastics contain some carbon.
    
    Lets take a typical credit card. Its made of laminated pvc (polyvinyl chloride). This plastic is made entirely of carbon, hydrogen and chlorine molecules (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyvinyl_chloride). To a lawyer it sounds a lot like the plastic is a carbon based material and would be covered by this patent.
    
    This could end in several ways: 1) ThinkTank Holdings sues MasterCard and Discover for patent infringement on their regular cards; 2) ThinkTank Holdings sues anyone who has ever made any kind of material that has any carbon in it (this would include just about any kind of consumer and industrial material out there, including diamonds, graphite, gasoline, methane, steel, etc, etc, etc); 3) ThinkTank Holdings just licenses the patent to Visa and calls it a day. You can draw your own conclusions, but I don't think option 3 is going to be very popular.

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

11.  

    I want...

    

    aguywhoneedstenbucks (profile), Jul 22nd, 2009 @ 2:49pm

    
    

    ...a plutonium card. That's when I'll feel like I have all the features I need in a credit card.

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

12.  

    Blackness

    

    Nigel Tufnel, Jul 22nd, 2009 @ 2:59pm

    
    

    It's like, how much more black could this be? and the answer is none. None more black. http://news.cnet.com/8301-17938_105-9855485-1.html

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

13.  

    Exclusive Priviledges

    

    Lachlan Hunt (profile), Jul 22nd, 2009 @ 3:01pm

    
    

    I think it's funnier that their list of Exclusive Priviledges also includes "Annual Fee $495"!

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

14.  

    

    Anonymous Coward, Jul 22nd, 2009 @ 3:11pm

    
    

    Unless there is some special process by which a 'carbon' credit card is produced it does not seem to me that an uncommon material by itself is patent worthy. How is it not obvious that one could use any number of materials to produce a credit card?

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

15.  

    Blastic

    

    ChurchHatesTucker (profile), Jul 22nd, 2009 @ 3:50pm

    
    

    black plastic know you gotta have it
    blaze in the back, my motorcade stops traffic
    black plastic debts gettin drastic
    don't care, don't dare me to blast kid
    
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJdo6lMyxLM
    (intro prolly NSFW)

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

16.  

    

    Anonymous Coward, Jul 22nd, 2009 @ 3:50pm

    
    

    Mike, does it matter, except perhaps that neither you nor I will own one in our lives?
    
    If this is the worst patent in the world, who cares?

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

17.  

    Monthly and others

    

    Grammar cop, Jul 22nd, 2009 @ 4:53pm

    
    

    Ima Fish and Jaws4the Revenge.
    
    Personally, I'd prefer SEMI-monthly BJ's (2 per month)not BI or TRI (every two or three months, respectively)

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

18.  

    Re:

    

    Michael, Jul 22nd, 2009 @ 5:46pm

    
    

    While newsworthy blog posts are nice, this is still a blog. Sometimes things are said just to be said and not analyzed.
    
    I want a platinum glazed card, personally. If they're going to sell me the idea that platinum is the best, then why the hell is the card cheap ass plastic? I'm paying their asses good money, I want a REAL platinum card.

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

19.  

    tri-monthly?

    

    spider, Jul 22nd, 2009 @ 6:42pm

    
    

    Make it tri-monthly and you've got a deal.

    You want less blowjobs per year to pay the $500 fee?

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

20.  

    vanity patents

    

    Anonymous Coward, Jul 22nd, 2009 @ 8:05pm

    
    

    it's called a vanity patent. marketing research has found that saying "patent pending" or "patented" will give you a slight statistical edge over the competition.
    
    lots of "as seen on tv" crap gets vanity patents. typically:
    -- the patent doesn't claim anything that's actually useful or somehow valuable.
    -- the clients are willing to make _ANY_ deal with the examiner just so they can get the patent through with minimal filing costs.
    -- the clients never sue anyone for infringing these patents.

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

21.  

    Which kind of patent?

    

    Fred McTaker (profile), Jul 22nd, 2009 @ 11:40pm

    
    

    There's actually 2 kinds of patents:
    
    1. Utility patents, which tend to be applied over-broad to anything of similar "utility" or functionality. I think there's special classes within this, like drug patents specially designed to keep poor people sick and/or dying. The basic point is the patent holder generally gets to troll against any remotely similar/superior products, to keep innovation out of the marketplace, and only in the East Texas courts.
    
    2. Design patents, which nobody uses or cares about, because to violate them you must create a replica so precise that you almost have to hire the same third-world manufacturer as the patent holder, to produce your violating copies.
    
    I'm guessing that the patent is indeed for marketing purposes only (as stupid as that is), and that it's type 2, so that nobody else can look all the same, just putting their logo where the VISA logo and/or hologram are. In this case, trademark protection is actually better legally, and cheaper for them to both register and defend. Maybe trademarks aren't as "marketable" as pending patents to stupid rich people in a hurry?
    
    I've never understood vanity credit accounts. I'd rather have a vanity savings account, with no card and a double-digit interest return rate. Sign me up for my In-the-Black Secret Savings!

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

22.  

    Prior Art

    

    PT, Jul 23rd, 2009 @ 1:14am

    
    

    I had a black credit card 20 years ago. Apart from the embossing and the hologram, it was completely featureless on the front. The issuing bank's name and logo appeared in glowing purple when you put it under UV light.

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

23.  

    Re: I want...

    

    Dmitriy Plaks (profile), Jul 23rd, 2009 @ 8:06am

    
    

    It wards off potential enemies and acts as a neat night light.

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

24.  

    Re: Re: It's recycling, Masnick...

    

    Dark Helmet (profile), Jul 23rd, 2009 @ 10:08am

    
    

    I expect nor accept any platitudes from people with two first names, Todd.

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

25.  

    You Very Own Free Black Card,..

    

    GHynson, Jul 23rd, 2009 @ 2:51pm

    
    

    All you need is a Black Permanent marker you can find at work.

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

26.  

    Plastic...

    

    Smart-Ass Chemist, Jul 23rd, 2009 @ 7:02pm

    
    

    ...is fundamentally made with carbon in it and thus based on carbon.
    
    "So, I did a little Googling, and turned up the following: apparently the patent filing (at the time of this announcement, just a provisional patent filing) is is on the physical card itself because it includes "carbon and/or carbon based material.""
    
    Approving that patent would yield the patent owner the power to legally bog down the nation as a whole. (think about it: card keys in hotels, credit/debit cards, name badges, business cards, gift cards,...)

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

27.  

    Re:

    

    another mike (profile), Jul 24th, 2009 @ 4:43pm

    
    

    if five dolla make you holla, that would work out to be bi-weekly. No, wait, twice a week.
    
    Either way it's more than I get now. Where do I sign up?

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

28.  

    Re: Exclusive Priviledges

    

    another mike (profile), Jul 24th, 2009 @ 4:49pm

    
    

    Getting bent over the barrel, hog-tying your arms to your ankles, and taking it up the bunghole, is hardly exclusive to Visa.

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

29.  

    

    chasingcreditcards, Nov 3rd, 2010 @ 11:33pm

    
    

    I guess having no credit card is way better that having a balance of debt hanging in your head.

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

30.  

    Black card this, black card that

    

    Mike Armour (profile), Oct 27th, 2011 @ 11:37am

    
    

    Here's a sober analysis of the black cards

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

31.  

    complain, complain, complain

    

    Mike Armour (profile), Nov 5th, 2011 @ 4:47pm

    
    

    I'm pretty sure that everyone here would do precisely what the Visa Black bigwigs are doing if they could lol. In light of this realization, most of these complaints seem rather petty; especially for something no one is forcing you to get.

    [ reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

Add Your Comment