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Microsoft Wants A Patent For Saying 'Goodbye'
from the bye-now dept
theodp writes "Demonstrating its commitment to high-quality U.S. patents, Microsoft has submitted a just-published patent application to the USPTO for Automatic Goodbye Messages. By automatically sending messages like 'Have a great afternoon!', 'Sorry, I have got to go!', 'Have a terrific day!', 'Ciao, Harry!', or even a simple 'Bye!' at the end of an IM session, Microsoft explains, one avoids insulting a converser with whom a conversation is ended. Hopefully the USPTO will give this one the quick buh-bye it deserves."
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Been done
ummm..irc clients have had this for decades.
Prior art, pointless application.
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Keep walking... just another monopoly trying to gain an obscene patent so they can get more money...
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buh-bye
So let me see, this is a VERY obvious idea, it has prior art...Should get a patent no problem then.
Problem is, I'm not joking.
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the sad thing is...
...it took this long for an IM client to do something every IRC client I have ever used has always done.
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Now to patent the next obvious idea...
To really duplicate IRC, after the client says "goodbye," the receiving client should say, "would you please turn that stupid script off?"
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Re: Now to patent the next obvious idea...
LOL. My feelings exactly. Nothing says 'I care' like a computer generated goodbye.
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Microsoft Deserves an Orwell Award for Newspeak
Mr. Smith ("Microsoft Calls for Reforms to the U.S. Patent System") newspeak continues to further establish Microsoft's reputation for butchering the English language.
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Re: Re: Now to patent the next obvious idea...
I own the patent for LOL you must cease and desist all usage, and pay me 1,000 for each infringing usage.
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Insult
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How companies come up with some of these patents
Many of you wouldn't criticise Microsoft and other companies if you knew the delicate and timely process it takes to come up with these patents. *Take 2 college students (not necesarily particularly bright ones), *Provide them a writing pad, and 2 #2 pencils (Must be #2 pencils) *Give them a few joints, and allow 30 minutes to "Bake". *Ask them to write down 100 of the most obvious things that are done today. Company X then painstakinly goes over this list, looking for blatantly obvious statements that they do themselves. Search for an existing patent and if none exists, WAMO! They're in business. It sadens me that many of you mock the system and just don't full understand and appreciate this time tested complex method.
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Hello!
They should add "Hello" to the patent list, since you obviously don't want to offend or upset anyone at the beginning of the IM session...
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The inevitable evolution of this technology...
[22:11] foo: blah blah blah blah
[22:11] bar: hey, I'm trying to get some work done here
[22:12] foo: yeah, i know but blah blah blah blah
[22:12] foo: i mean seriously, blah blah blah blah
[22:12] bar: IM IN YR IM SESSION TERMINATING YR CONVERSATION
[22:12] bar: KTHXBYE
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Re: Hello!
Too late, I've already patented that.
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Thomas Edison Never Got a Microsoft Goodbye
These patents shouldn't be classified in the same legal structure as innovation. If a patent is hilarious, it should be put in a different stack.
If anything, they could be allowed simply to prevent big corporate targets from massive, frivolous, infringement liability.
Creatively-stoned college students just don't have the legal resources to file and defend their originality. Or the time--where does it go? Microsoft's crazy baldheads are getting chased out of town anyway.
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IRC already had, but.....
While I agree that IRC has had this feature for years, you are missing one serious problem - who at the USPTO is going to have any clue what IRC *IS*, let alone that clients already offered this feature?
Because of that, I would not be surprised if this is approved. It would be another example of the shining stupidity of government bureaucracy......
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Re: Insult
Yeah! The folks on CSI:Miami don't seem to care if they get hung up on at the end of a call without a courteous farewell.
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Re: Re: Re: Now to patent the next obvious idea...
You want 1,000? How about 1,000 kicks to your pitiful posterior for be such an idiot?
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Patent reform
How about this? All patent applications must be published and made openly available to the public for at least 180 days prior to review by patent reviewers in order to provide an adequate exposure of prior art.
Or, better yet, go back to requiring all applications to include a working model. No more theoretical crap. Prove your idea works.
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Why they do this...
Microsoft, and most big companies for that matter, don't file patents to make money off of royalties, or to sue people who infringe on them so they can make a pretty penny in settlements. They file as many patents as possible so that no other companies sue them. Basically, Microsoft, and IBM and Google, and Cisco and all other big companies have a truce of some sort, "we won't sue you, so you don't sue us since we all have technology that infringes on each other's patents."
It's important for all of these companies to continually file new patents so that none of the companies get too far ahead of the other ones, and thus would have a leg up in a legal battle. Think of it like the cold war. And I'm serious -- this is why all these companies file for seemingly stupid patents all the time.
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If they made a patent for sarcasm ....
most you would be screwed.
but then again sarcasm online doesnt work out as well.
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Wrong Career
I new I should of grown up to be a Patent Attorney.
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Re: Wrong Career
>>I new I should of grown up to be a Patent Attorney.
Nah, because as horrible as they may be, even the new ones knew which words to use get that far...
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SYNOPSIS
...Hello and Goodbye....nuff said!
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wow
I am going to patent "void main". Everyone else is screwed.
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Re: If they made a patent for sarcasm ....
sorry ... you have to pay me $1000 for sarcasm .. i own the patent on that
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Re: Why they do this...
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funny
lol...Don't they have more important things to do at Microsoft than think about these ridiculous words to be patented? I guess we just have to make do with an emoticon with a hand wave if this will push through.
What's next on their agenda?
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Common Sense
I'm really amazed at how many people have their head up thier ass!
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Umm... can anyone say "AOL"???
Though it's been a dozen or more years since I used AOL to connect to the internet, something in the back of my mind keeps saying ..... 'goodbye.'
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Proposed Solution
I think Bill needs another pie on his face...He is looking so old these days...
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