Microsoft Wants A Patent For Saying 'Goodbye'

from the bye-now dept

theodp writes "Demonstrating its commitment to high-quality U.S. patents, Microsoft has submitted a just-published patent application to the USPTO for Automatic Goodbye Messages. By automatically sending messages like 'Have a great afternoon!', 'Sorry, I have got to go!', 'Have a terrific day!', 'Ciao, Harry!', or even a simple 'Bye!' at the end of an IM session, Microsoft explains, one avoids insulting a converser with whom a conversation is ended. Hopefully the USPTO will give this one the quick buh-bye it deserves."


Reader Comments (rss)

(Flattened / Threaded)

  1.  
    identicon
    Jesse McNelis, Nov 7th, 2007 @ 2:49am

    Been done

    ummm..irc clients have had this for decades.
    Prior art, pointless application.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  2.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Nov 7th, 2007 @ 3:23am

    Keep walking... just another monopoly trying to gain an obscene patent so they can get more money...

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  3.  
    identicon
    Anon, Nov 7th, 2007 @ 3:55am

    buh-bye

    So let me see, this is a VERY obvious idea, it has prior art...Should get a patent no problem then.

    Problem is, I'm not joking.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  4.  
    identicon
    Wolfger, Nov 7th, 2007 @ 4:48am

    the sad thing is...

    ...it took this long for an IM client to do something every IRC client I have ever used has always done.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  5.  
    identicon
    Deirdre, Nov 7th, 2007 @ 5:20am

    Now to patent the next obvious idea...

    To really duplicate IRC, after the client says "goodbye," the receiving client should say, "would you please turn that stupid script off?"

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  6.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Nov 7th, 2007 @ 5:30am

    Re: Now to patent the next obvious idea...

    LOL. My feelings exactly. Nothing says 'I care' like a computer generated goodbye.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  7.  
    icon
    Steve R. (profile), Nov 7th, 2007 @ 5:39am

    Microsoft Deserves an Orwell Award for Newspeak

    Mr. Smith ("Microsoft Calls for Reforms to the U.S. Patent System") newspeak continues to further establish Microsoft's reputation for butchering the English language.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  8.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Nov 7th, 2007 @ 5:39am

    Re: Re: Now to patent the next obvious idea...

    I own the patent for LOL you must cease and desist all usage, and pay me 1,000 for each infringing usage.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  9.  
    identicon
    Commander Koen, Nov 7th, 2007 @ 6:48am

    Insult

    "Microsoft explains, one avoids insulting a converser with whom a conversation is ended. Hopefully the USPTO will give this one the quick buh-bye it deserves."
    An automatic bye would insult me more than no bye at all.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  10.  
    identicon
    Adam, Nov 7th, 2007 @ 7:02am

    How companies come up with some of these patents

    Many of you wouldn't criticise Microsoft and other companies if you knew the delicate and timely process it takes to come up with these patents. *Take 2 college students (not necesarily particularly bright ones), *Provide them a writing pad, and 2 #2 pencils (Must be #2 pencils) *Give them a few joints, and allow 30 minutes to "Bake". *Ask them to write down 100 of the most obvious things that are done today. Company X then painstakinly goes over this list, looking for blatantly obvious statements that they do themselves. Search for an existing patent and if none exists, WAMO! They're in business. It sadens me that many of you mock the system and just don't full understand and appreciate this time tested complex method.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  11.  
    identicon
    Jeff, Nov 7th, 2007 @ 7:09am

    Hello!

    They should add "Hello" to the patent list, since you obviously don't want to offend or upset anyone at the beginning of the IM session...

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  12.  
    identicon
    W.B. McNamara, Nov 7th, 2007 @ 7:13am

    The inevitable evolution of this technology...

    [22:11] foo: blah blah blah blah

    [22:11] bar: hey, I'm trying to get some work done here

    [22:12] foo: yeah, i know but blah blah blah blah

    [22:12] foo: i mean seriously, blah blah blah blah

    [22:12] bar: IM IN YR IM SESSION TERMINATING YR CONVERSATION

    [22:12] bar: KTHXBYE

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  13.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Nov 7th, 2007 @ 7:13am

    Re: Hello!

    Too late, I've already patented that.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  14.  
    identicon
    Bald Pate-NT, Nov 7th, 2007 @ 7:31am

    Thomas Edison Never Got a Microsoft Goodbye

    These patents shouldn't be classified in the same legal structure as innovation. If a patent is hilarious, it should be put in a different stack.

    If anything, they could be allowed simply to prevent big corporate targets from massive, frivolous, infringement liability.

    Creatively-stoned college students just don't have the legal resources to file and defend their originality. Or the time--where does it go? Microsoft's crazy baldheads are getting chased out of town anyway.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  15.  
    identicon
    byte^me, Nov 7th, 2007 @ 7:36am

    IRC already had, but.....

    While I agree that IRC has had this feature for years, you are missing one serious problem - who at the USPTO is going to have any clue what IRC *IS*, let alone that clients already offered this feature?

    Because of that, I would not be surprised if this is approved. It would be another example of the shining stupidity of government bureaucracy......

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  16.  
    identicon
    Chuck Norris' Enemy (deceased), Nov 7th, 2007 @ 8:30am

    Re: Insult

    Yeah! The folks on CSI:Miami don't seem to care if they get hung up on at the end of a call without a courteous farewell.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  17.  
    identicon
    InkChemist, Nov 7th, 2007 @ 8:47am

    Re: Re: Re: Now to patent the next obvious idea...

    You want 1,000? How about 1,000 kicks to your pitiful posterior for be such an idiot?

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  18.  
    identicon
    Mystified Mind, Nov 7th, 2007 @ 8:53am

    Patent reform

    How about this? All patent applications must be published and made openly available to the public for at least 180 days prior to review by patent reviewers in order to provide an adequate exposure of prior art.

    Or, better yet, go back to requiring all applications to include a working model. No more theoretical crap. Prove your idea works.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  19.  
    identicon
    Jon, Nov 7th, 2007 @ 9:29am

    Why they do this...

    Microsoft, and most big companies for that matter, don't file patents to make money off of royalties, or to sue people who infringe on them so they can make a pretty penny in settlements. They file as many patents as possible so that no other companies sue them. Basically, Microsoft, and IBM and Google, and Cisco and all other big companies have a truce of some sort, "we won't sue you, so you don't sue us since we all have technology that infringes on each other's patents."

    It's important for all of these companies to continually file new patents so that none of the companies get too far ahead of the other ones, and thus would have a leg up in a legal battle. Think of it like the cold war. And I'm serious -- this is why all these companies file for seemingly stupid patents all the time.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  20.  
    identicon
    RichTreme, Nov 7th, 2007 @ 9:30am

    If they made a patent for sarcasm ....

    most you would be screwed.

    but then again sarcasm online doesnt work out as well.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  21.  

    Wrong Career

    I new I should of grown up to be a Patent Attorney.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  22.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Nov 7th, 2007 @ 12:25pm

    Re: Wrong Career

    >>I new I should of grown up to be a Patent Attorney.

    Nah, because as horrible as they may be, even the new ones knew which words to use get that far...

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  23.  
    identicon
    DMan, Nov 7th, 2007 @ 12:29pm

    SYNOPSIS

    ...Hello and Goodbye....nuff said!

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  24.  
    identicon
    Buzz, Nov 7th, 2007 @ 3:08pm

    wow

    I am going to patent "void main". Everyone else is screwed.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  25.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Asian, Nov 7th, 2007 @ 3:48pm

    Re: If they made a patent for sarcasm ....

    sorry ... you have to pay me $1000 for sarcasm .. i own the patent on that

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  26.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Nov 7th, 2007 @ 3:55pm

    Re: Why they do this...

    Microsoft, and most big companies for that matter, don't file patents to make money off of royalties, or to sue people who infringe on them so they can make a pretty penny in settlements. They file as many patents as possible so that no other companies sue them.
    You've never heard of SCO?

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  27.  
    identicon
    ipanema, Nov 7th, 2007 @ 4:04pm

    funny

    lol...Don't they have more important things to do at Microsoft than think about these ridiculous words to be patented? I guess we just have to make do with an emoticon with a hand wave if this will push through.

    What's next on their agenda?

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  28.  
    identicon
    Scott, Nov 7th, 2007 @ 5:16pm

    Common Sense

    I'm really amazed at how many people have their head up thier ass!

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  29.  
    identicon
    matt, Nov 8th, 2007 @ 1:55pm

    Umm... can anyone say "AOL"???

    Though it's been a dozen or more years since I used AOL to connect to the internet, something in the back of my mind keeps saying ..... 'goodbye.'

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  30.  
    identicon
    MSfun, Nov 12th, 2007 @ 1:39am

    Proposed Solution

    I think Bill needs another pie on his face...He is looking so old these days...

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]


Add Your Comment

Have a Techdirt Account? Sign in now. Want one? Register here
Get Techdirt’s Daily Email
Save me a cookie
  • Note: A CRLF will be replaced by a break tag (<br>), all other allowable HTML will remain intact
  • Allowed HTML Tags: <b> <i> <a> <em> <br> <strong> <blockquote> <hr> <tt>
Follow Techdirt
A word from our sponsors...
Essential Reading
Techdirt Reading List
Techdirt Insider Chat
A word from our sponsors...
Recent Stories
A word from our sponsors...

Close

Email This