Should MySpace Be Blamed For Sexual Assault?
from the what-did-MySpace-do? dept
There's just something about new technologies and the idea that people like to blame them, rather than the people using them, for crimes. For some reason, that seems to go double with the popular social networking site MySpace. Last year, we wrote about MySpace being blamed for some stupid kids who used it to spread rumors that there was going to be a shooting at school the next day. It was the kids' fault -- not MySpace. Now, there's a new story about a series of sexual assaults on underage girls -- where the meetings were facilitated by MySpace. However, the article seems to focus entirely on the MySpace aspect of this, which really is a minor point. The real culprits are the guys who did this -- and focusing on MySpace is going to put the blame in the wrong space. We've also noticed a trend here. On a few of our older stories about MySpace, we've had a number of angry parents show up, complaining about all the awful things they've found on the MySpace profiles of their kids or their kids' friends. It's easy to blame MySpace -- but if this is what the kids are doing, shouldn't the parents be talking to their kids about this, helping them understand why what they're doing is dangerous? Simply pinning the blame on MySpace doesn't help. If these parents succeed in stopping MySpace, the kids will simply move on to some other service. The real trick is to educate kids on appropriate behavior and the potential risks in dealing with other people online. Then, it won't matter what site they're on -- they'll have a good foundation to know how to act more appropriately.
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But it's true...
The world would be a better place without Myspace...
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It's called PARENTING
Parents are responsible for the actions of their children. End of Story.
You brought them into the world, THEY ARE YOUR RESPONSIBILITY.
Stop blaming everybody / everthing because you failed as a parent.
If you can't spend time to find out what your kids are interested in, thinking, the friends they are hanging with, the places they are going, the things they are doing: YOU FAILED AS A PARENT.
That doesn't mean you can protect them from everything. Sometimes the world does ugly things. Preparing them as best you can is their only defense.
FYI, I have two kids of my own and live by my words.
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Seems MySpace needs to invest in some moderators..
It's definatly something that could be looked ino though I do still feel this is more the law enforcements job. They have the ability to track and watch any of this information and anyone who believes they don't are an idiot. I think maybe like they were saying on U93 in South Bend today that maybe it's the parents fault who can stop their children from being in places they shouldn't if they would take the time to do it.
Oh wait that assumes that the parent can figure out how to even use the computer much less lock the kid out more-so that he can't get back in. It's the parents responsibility to keep up with the children no matter what the fault lies there. There could be more legal attention directed directly at this though there is quite the moement of people who have joined this cause across the country in differant ways shapes or forms.
Maybe with this media attention it will get funding it desperatly needs rather than sending it over to Hamas though Bush will do with his oil billions whatever he likes.
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Re: Seems MySpace needs to invest in some moderato
bull fucking shit, parents need to invest common sense in their kids
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but its not true
There are people out there who happen to enjoy myspace and for one it should not be blamed for stupid mistakes that kids make. if you don't like myspace stay away from it...and the world might like you better..
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Excesses of the "Independence" Culture
So what we see here are the American attitudes that say it is completely people's own fault if they do themselves in -- the tool plays no part in it. The internet industry's greatest nightmare is having to monitor the conduct of people online. The industry would prefer to take a laissez-faire line, saying that it is completely people's fault if they use an internet service to commit a crime.
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No Subject Given
This is partly the same issue repeated as was with a well know online chat community that closed not too long ago. Parents and Guardians only intervene when they see what their kids get up to. It would be devastating to the whole internet community if Parents were given evening classes to learn how to enable history and check it on certain instant messenger, because if they learnt half the things their kids got up to in there. I have had some scary stuff sent to me online and I don’t even use chat rooms.
I think the issue here is that as long as these communities exist, the users must show an inch of toleration and even more maturity. In the case of youngsters and teens, Parents need to exercise a little control.
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paper
thats like blaming the paper company for making the paper in which some one plotted to blow some thing up
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Re: But it's true...
I Agree, a few years ago, people would be so embarrassed of even reading a personals' ad in the newspaper "for fun," and that is exactly what is is, but worse. A personals ad is a few sentences, myspace is much more time devoted to dumb shit
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Re: Excesses of the
dorpus,
Yep. Just like with guns. Us Americans like our guns too.
My boy is 6 and for his birthday he got a single shot .22 rifle sized just for him.
Guess how many times he has TOUCHED his gun when I'm not around?
ZERO.
He doesn't have the key for the trigger lock, he doesn't have a key for the gun room it's stored in, and MOST IMPORTANTLY he has been taught that he is under no circumstances to even try to access his gun when I'm not around.
Beyond that he knows that anytime anyone hands him a firearm, even his dad, he is to properly check to ensure that it is unloaded.
We go to the shooting range fairly often, and he has become a pretty good shot. The most amusing thing is when he corrects some 50 year old next to us when the guy violates range etiquette or safety rules.
He knows it's not a toy. He knows that it is for target shooting and killing things. He knows to take dead aim and verify his target before shooting.
The thing that you may have trouble understanding is that my son doesn't own a BB gun. I will not allow it. In my opinion they are too high of a risk. Too easy to sneak in to the back yard or woods and do something stupid. Too easy to be lulled into the fact that it is not a lethal weapon.
As a parent I have evaluated the risks associated with both and made my choices. You know, PARENTING.
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Good article
I think I can fully agree with the author ... It's not Yahoo's fault, that people use it for spam, is it ?
- S
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Re: Excesses of the
dufus - uhh dorfus - and that is a correct and proper attitude.
The person who does something, and only the person who does that particular act is responsible for his or her own actions.
NO ONE ELSE.
This is not overly independant thinking, it is the basis for keeping also sorts of nastyness from being blamed on people who don't have a clue..
People Like YOU!
The Poison Pen
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Re: Excesses of the
Ok, so you're willing to live with the consequences of that, American style, if your son has an accident with it some day? You might accidentally shoot your son, someone else at the range might accidentally shoot him, another hunter could mistake him for a deer and shoot him, he might shoot you. 6-year-olds aren't too hard to distract or upset, after all -- at some point, complacency will set in, you won't be as stern, he won't be as careful.
Don't get me wrong, I am not a gun control advocate. If rednecks want to accidentally shoot their children, why stop them?
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Re: Excesses of the
ohh SnaP!
I hope for your sake that you never say that to a person face to face. That was harsh man.
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Re: Excesses of the
For many reasons, the odds ratios of gun owners getting shot are extremely high compared to non-gun-owners. If gun owners are careful about one thing, that confidence tends to make them blind to other dangers. Children do not have a fully developed sense of reality -- it is a lifelong learning process.
But rednecks don't like hearing that kind of educated talk. It's better to let rednecks shoot each other with their "right to bear arms" and defend themselves, mostly against each other -- after all, professional police officers wearing red coats might make them worship the British monarchy. We wouldn't want more rednecks blowing up our cities like Timothy McVeigh.
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Re: Excesses of the
I think the subject is now a little offtrack. We arnt here to judge other people. I for one beleive in strict but fair policy with children. If you want to give them firearms, then good on you for taking the steps to keep them safe in doing so.
The question here is, do we agree with parents and adults in general blaming MySpace for its content, when they are not the publisher of said content?
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Re: Excesses of the
In a culture that values civility more, MySpace might take a more apologetic attitude, and take steps to prevent objectionable content from going online in the future. But that is sac-religious in the libertarian religion of silicon valley, which believes in a free-market, dog-eats-dog, crush-the-weak world. In the contemporary American business culture, moral responsibility is equated with communism.
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Re: Excesses of the
Yes. I am willing to live with the consequences of my decisions.
I do not require a nanny state to wrap me in bubble wrap, pad the world with foam, and tether me to something so I don't blow away.
And calling me a redneck won't accomplish anything.
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No Subject Given
why point the finger at urself when its so much easier to point the finger at others and ignor the problem.
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Re: Excesses of the
But rednecks don't like hearing that kind of educated talk. It's better to let rednecks shoot each other with their "right to bear arms" and defend themselves, mostly against each other -- after all, professional police officers wearing red coats might make them worship the British monarchy. We wouldn't want more rednecks blowing up our cities like Timothy McVeigh.
More ad hominem attacks... You're right of course, I'm uneducated. Obviously you were able to tell that from my e-mail.
I'm a conservative too. But, sorry to disappoint you, an aetheist. So you can save your anti-Christian remarks for another day.
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Re: Excesses of the
So you'd rather live in the every-man-for-himself, Cro-Magnon world? If you don't want the "nanny state", then you may get what you wish for -- a world where there is no government enforcement of product safety standards, cartridges that blow up and turn your hand into a stump, hospitals that won't treat you if you don't have enough cash in your wallet. Electric companies, water companies will cut off services to rural areas when there are no nanny-state subsidies. So you'll have to buy your own generator, assuming it won't blow up on you, and drink well water, assuming it's not polluted with bacteria and toxic chemicals, since anybody can pollute however they want.
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Re: Excesses of the
So you'd rather live in the every-man-for-himself, Cro-Magnon world?
You said that, not I. I said I was a conservative NOT a libertarian. Perhaps you need some more education so you can engage in a discussion using ideas grounded in history and facts rather than name calling. But then, what would I know, I am un-educated redneck.
All I said, before you attacked me, was that as a parent it is my responsibility to raise my child. Not someone else's. Mine. That's all.
I used the example of a firearm as a methphor for MySpace to explain my feelings regarding the story, and the message within it that parents would point the finger at MySpace rather than themselves.
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No Subject Given
Let's let the government take away our rights to free speech and privacy because most people have little desire to monitor their own child's choice of entertainment.
Let's shut down businesses because they provide a service only adults are supposed to be using in the first place.
It's pretty easy folks, it doesn't even require knowing anything about a computer. There's easy to use software out there to block these sites and you can also visually monitor what your child does. I don't know much about cartoons these days, but I still make the effort to know what my son is watching so I can have some control over what he is being exposed to.
Your kids are probably surfing free porn and using your credit card to play online poker. You have no clue because you either don't pay attention or don't want to feel like a bad parent. Stop blaming media for your child's issues and address the real problem: your inability to say no to your child.
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Re: But it's true...
Tonicart if this is true then i guess the world would be better off without the catholic church, since more kids have been molested there then ever because of MYSPCace..
i never understood how a 14 year old kid having sex with a dozen other 14 year olds is legal, but if a 25 year old has sex with this same 14 year old after all that other sex, it's illegal cause "she's a minor and did not know any better"...
seems the other dozen kids should be charged with molesting the kid too?
its like if i rob a bank its illegal and i will go to jail, but if bank A robs bank B its ok cause they both are banks....????
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my space
It's way the media and overly liberal peple think. They are no longer interested in personal responsiblity, blame someone else. Better yet sue in court and smear name in media. Then regulate the hell out of everything, so that way politicians can controll every part of our lives.
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Myspace created child molestation
Sorry. I have a little girl and a little boy. they use the computer. But, we only have one computer, in the kitchen, where we can see everything they are doing.
But the best thing we have done to protect them from "sexual predators" is talk to them about it.
Because, come on; if girls don't know that boys/men are being nice to them because they want to have sex with them, ("i thought he was going to give me a back rub": true quote from the daughter of a church-go'er after she found out she was pregnant) then they are SORELY unprepared for Life in general.
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No Subject Given
I only have a couple of things to say.
#1: Whatever happened to teaching the kids to, "Never speak to strangers", as this really seems to have gone out the window.
#2: If you don't know how to use a computer, don't know how to keep it safe, and are unwilling to learn, then don't own one. Would you own a gun with the same reguard, or would you learn to shoot it, and lock it up? I know they are a triffle different in mechanics, but they can both lead to terrible concequences.
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Re: Excesses of the
Ok time to be general here... (plus two posts in one, aren't you folks lucky)
Post (rant) 1
You know what the real problems are
Conservatives
Liberals.
Conservatives because when it comes to the Internet they will not give the parents the tools needed to easily regulate the Internet from the home. For example the Conservatives are the ones that killed the .xxx domain because they think it'll add more porn on the Internet.
Liberals because they'd rather sit on their hands rather then do something productive. They'd rather complain then fix something.
(Note: I did not say a party, I used my words the way I did, because both parties are mixed with each type of Ideal)
Post (rant) 2
Should we sue malls because they are tools for pedophiles? Or schools for having cheerleaders in skirts? Or schools for not doing enough of a background check so they hire a pedophile? City parks? Chucky Cheese (sp)? Church?
Look there have always been tools out there that get abused. But you know what keeps the kids mostly safe at the mall, school, church, and park. A community of responsible parents. Parents should know what their kids are doing, and if their own parents don't know, the other parents in a community should let them in on it to help protect the children. As they say it takes a village to raise a child. What ever happened to that logic?
Blaming a tool for anything would be like blaming this techdrit for letting me write this inept rant. I say we sue techdrit for letting me say; FUCK !
Who's with me, they have deep pockets like myspace right?
I mean when everything is said and done, people sue big biz mostly for money, right?
Rant at you later
-Justin
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Re: Seems MySpace needs to invest in some moderato
Amen to that, people need to stop blaming web sites, the media, music, movies and games for the actions of their kids and start working on their parenting!
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civility
though the article was intresting I find the lack of intelligent response (by some) disturbing... as for gun control good for those parents that can take the mystery out of it so that their kids done do something fatally dumb. as for myspace. the minute kids got involved it was sure to have these problems. and finally does anyone remember how that shooting in a college in Va ended about 3 or 4 years ago. I know you didn't read or hear it in the news. some rednecks went to their cars pulled out their guns and gently persuaded the perp to put his down...
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School bus stops!!
That's the REAL problem with the world today- school bus stops!!
Do you have ANY IDEA how many pedophiles hang out around school bus stops??? And so-called responsible parents REQUIRE their innocent children to go there, day after day!! Like sending lambs to the slaughter!!
I'm telling you, the sky is falling!! Outlaw school bus stops before it's too late!!
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No Subject Given
Well then... shouldn't we blame the ISP's for letting them transmit the data?
What about the power companies? Without power - they couldn't get to the website either - so the power companies facilitated it.
The coal mining companies... supply coal to the power plants, without them supplying coal the power companies wouldn't be able to supply power to the computers.
Oh, don't forget microsoft - without MS, the idiots couldn't get on to the web anyway..
Oh yeah and the Government - afterall, they regulate the telcos, power companies, coal mining companies, etc.. so they are responsibile for not regulating the telcos who give service to the ISPs and in turn Myspace.
Oh - the steel industry - gotta blame them too - it was afterall copper lines the data traveled over. Oh and the plastics companies that make insulation for the wires.
Oh, don't forget all the various manufacturers of computer hardware - without said computer hardware, then Myspace couldn't operate to serve up pages..
hmm - seems like we can put the blame anywhere using the right logic - too bad people are too damn stupid to blame who's really at fault -- the idiots putting up the web pages.
lol
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Re: Seems MySpace needs to invest in some moderato
"Oh wait that assumes that the parent can figure out how to even use the computer much less lock the kid out more-so that he can't get back in."
It is also the responsibility of the parent to keep up with current technology and if they cant they do not need to even own a computer. Most people don't drive a car unless they learn how to, so why should using a computer be any different. The internet can be just as dangerous if not worse, in some cases, and it is the responsibilty of the parent to protect the child and if something happens to your child it is your fault because you failed.
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Re: No Subject Given
Although I'm not fan of myspace, I do understand it's popularity. I believe most of the messages posted on the website by members are appropriat or atleast acceptable. That said, for situations where inappropriate offensive messages are posted, MySpace should remove the messages from the websites, perhaps by employing a moderating team. I do agree that parents should teach their children proper internet edicate("neticate") and in doing so the messages posted will atleast be slightly more appropriate. If we consider the internet as just an extention of our world, a place to communicate with others, buy things, hang out with friends, maybe think of it as a mall! then we can understand how simply being in the mall changes how you act compared to being in school, at home, or a movie theater. The same way, proper neticate will influence the behavior of people(young and old) on the internet. The problem with this is that the current generation of adults did not have internet access as readily available to them. Currently most children are first generation computer users, the parents know less about the computers than them and so it becomes difficult to teach the proper neticate. Even then, parents are parents, they do control the home including the children, if they dont teach neticate, they can atleast monitor or restrict their children from doing specific things. I believe that although MySpace has no obligation to moderate the messages on their website, they should do so just for the good of the community. This will ensure that people continue coming to myspace, instead of going elsewhere because their parents said "I don't want you going to MySpace, there are predators there" (xD) But at the same time, it is important to realize many parents are afraid to say that(most likely feeling they can't enforce it)
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Without a long speech...
that will bore all of you, let me just say that it all boils down, once again, to personal responsibility. I hate parents who use T.V. or the internet to babysit their children.
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Re: Seems MySpace needs to invest in some moderato
They've already taken the fourth if you haven't noticed you handing them the first on a silver platter?
No Subject Given
by Anonymous Coward on Friday, February 3rd, 2006 @ 04:04AM
Let's let the government take away our rights to free speech and privacy because most people have little desire to monitor their own child's choice of entertainment.
Let's shut down businesses because they provide a service only adults are supposed to be using in the first place.
It's pretty easy folks, it doesn't even require knowing anything about a computer. There's easy to use software out there to block these sites and you can also visually monitor what your child does. I don't know much about cartoons these days, but I still make the effort to know what my son is watching so I can have some control over what he is being exposed to.
Your kids are probably surfing free porn and using your credit card to play online poker. You have no clue because you either don't pay attention or don't want to feel like a bad parent. Stop blaming media for your child's issues and address the real problem: your inability to say no to your child.
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Re: Excesses of the
So you'd rather live in the every-man-for-himself, Cro-Magnon world?
No, it's not that at all. I do not long for a Mad Max post-apocalyptic world. I just want you to butt out of my business, that's all (not you you, the generic you). Personal responsibility is NOT the same as dissolution of government, in spite of your straw man.
If I am using a product in the intended way, and it fails thereby causing me harm, it is the manufacturer's responsibility and the harm to me should be actionable against them. If I am using a product in a way other than intended (read, "being stupid") and I am thereby harmed, it is my own fault.
To wit: if I am advised that giving out personal information on the internet might not be a good idea, but I do it anyway, the negative repercussions are my responsibility, not the responsibility of MySpace or Yahoo or anyone else. If, though, I have taken reasonable steps to protect my personal information, but AmEx or Verizon decides to submarine me and publish my information anyway, then they should suffer the pain of compensating me for anything that happens to me as a result. Or, the state requires auto makers to install seatbelts. I'm all for that, an expectation of a safe product is perfectly reasonable. Efforts have been made to tell people about the importance of using seatbelts. I'm all for that, education is a Good Thing. But you can take your "click-it-or-ticket" law and stuff it up your ass. That is "Nanny state" bullshit, and I want no part of it. I have been informed about the relative risks in both directions regarding the safety feature, how I choose to use or not use it is my own damned business, as are the consequences of that choice.
Personal responsibility is NOT a free-for-all. It is about a reasonable expectation that you know coffee is hot. So to speak.
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Re: Excesses of the
Society loves to blame amoral objects for causing their own immoral behavior. The truth is its only the thoughts and prejudices of a person's mind that can lead them to action. It is true that we are easily affected by our environment, but its a person's chioce that will determine the final outcome. We are products of our nature, not victims.
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Re: Excesses of the
That is like saying that its a sticks fault if a person bludgeons someone to death with it. The tool is simply that, a tool. How one uses it determines who is culpable. Personal responsibility is the hardest thing for people to accept, but it worked for generations, and still continues to do so.
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Re: Excesses of the
Exactly...it's an American attitude. We like to call it "freedom". It's one of the main reasons this country was founded, fleeing the lack therof in other countries. If you don't like it, I suggest you live in a country whose attitudes are more in line with your own, although our current government regime is trying very hard to remove the basic freedoms and rights guaranteed us by the Constitution and the Bill of Rights.
I raised my children and help to raise my grandchildren. Not only do I agree with everyone here suggesting PARENTING as the option to blaming others, I resent others who want to tell me how to parent my own children. Not only is PARENTING our responsibility...it is our right.
It's a longwinded read but to see but one potential example of what happens when "independent thought" is subjugated by governmental interference try Ayn Rand's "Atlas Shrugged".
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Re: Excesses of the
Contrary to popular dogma, we do not have a RIGHT not to be offended.
You seem completely uneducated on the concept of Libertarianism. Please see http://lp.org for the proper definition.
Morality is subjective and therefore has no place in law. If you think about it, what would happen if we were ruled by the "morality" of the Taliban?
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Re: No Subject Given
Perhaps these (I hate to call them this as they're not performing the function) parents might be able to find the power button or the electrical outlet since they can't figure out how NOT to allow their children access to the internet without proper supervision? What a concept...personal responsibility! *gasp*
Before you get your panties in a wad (or knickers in a twist, for you Brits), I'm being facetious...mostly :P
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MySpace
while we're at it let's abolish the postal service...burn all printing presses...rip up the phone lines...ban anything that could possibly spread any type of information or communication...right...because obviously anything bad that happens is fault of the implement or tool and not the person using it...right????
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Re: Excesses of the
I'm becoming a fan of your comments.
Not just in America - we need parents to start acting like parents and actually RAISING their child. Not just policing them until they are old enough to police someone else.
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WOW
It seems like this is a very touchy subject with a lot of people, myself included.
I have to agree though, it is 100% the parents responsiblity to educate their kids about the dangers in the world. If you are going to let your child surf the Internet, monitor them! There are things like browser history and URL filtering for a reason. If you find something that they have viewed that they shouldnt have, sit down and talk with them to explain to them what they looked at and why they shouldnt have viewed it.
Education is by far the most effective tool against these kind of things. Back to the basics of do not talk to strangers, do not give out personal informaton on the Internet, and for goodness sakes talk to your kids about sex! I think that these would be a really good starting place.
Just for the record, NO, I do not have any kids, so no, I do not know what it is like to raise them. However, I do think that my parent did do a good job a raising me, and I think that I can follow by example.
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Re: Excesses of the
Bravo Don Gray for 2 things. Spending time with your child, and teaching him values.
How people can blame MySpace because they haven't taught their daughter to not post enticing photos, to not brag about being the school 'ho at 15 and to not talk about drinking and drugs.
Girls can't be lured into anything unless they willingly participate. You can't stop the predators from preying, but you can stop your daughter from entertaining strangers in chat.
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They deserve it;
Anyone stupid enough to get sexually assaulted because of their myspace profile deserves it.
I knew to stay away from strangers and how to run and hide since I was six years old, I learned about sex when I was 8, and I figured I wanted some by the time I was 11.
I have not ever been assaulted or have I assaulted anyone.
Kids are not stupid folks, they just need rules and guidelines on how to behave, on the internet, and everywhere else.
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Re: Excesses of the
And maybe your 6-year-old will get distracted and fall down a well. I don't see a point in this at all.
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MySpace
Parents should much more time with thier children rather than letting society raise them.
But then again, with technology expanding at lightning speeds, its much easier to put the blame elswhere rather than accepting responsibility.
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Re: But it's true...
the world would be better without people like you who blame their mistakes on websites that are harmless... Myspace is a website... people are the ones who use website... therefor, if there is anything or anyone to blame... it would be the parents who does not have parental control on their computers... the technology is available... whay done they use it??
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Re: Excesses of the
"So what we see here are the American attitudes that say it is completely people's own fault if they do themselves in -- the tool plays no part in it. The internet industry's greatest nightmare is having to monitor the conduct of people online. The industry would prefer to take a laissez-faire line, saying that it is completely people's fault if they use an internet service to commit a crime."
As opposed to your view that the provider of a service should be responsible for what people are doing with their services? That's BS... If I invent a drug that cures cancer and some jackass finds out that you can use it to get high and starts selling it illegally so people can use it for that purpose, does that make the drug inherently bad? No... MySpace sucks in my opinion. I don't like the idea behind it, I don't like the interface, and I certainly don't like the content. But the fact remains that millions of people use myspace everyday. It is a service that obviously has a place in our society.
The service they provide does not claim to be moderated and they are not responsible for the content contained on it. This is how it should be. I agree with the majority on this one. Parents need to be held responsible for the actions of their children. Columbine showed us the folly of ignoring what our children are doing. Of course it also showed us that gun makers and video game producers can be sued if we ignore our children.
I have 2 young children and I know what they are doing and where they are at 99.9% of the time. I am instilling the importance of taking responsibility for your own actions in my children. If they do something wrong, they are punished for it. If my daughter hits my son, I don't sue the producer of a movie or tv show that she watched because she saw someone hit someone else on that show!
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Re: Excesses of the
I agree with you,
Its like having a GUN in front of you, you picks it up and shoot a fellow.
Well you can always defend your self by saying that you didn't commit that crime it was the TOOL (GUN in this case) which did it. There for your are not resposible for that.
And may be Department of Justice can let you free.
---------------(That was sarcasm if you think I really agree with you)----------------
It is parents responsibility to watch over their kids. If they have internet access they should talk with their kids about how to use it. ONLY PARENTS ARE RESPONSIBLE for their kids illigle actions. If parents spend enough time with their brainless child and put some legitimate brain in them all this could be stopped.
Don't say that is the TOOL and not the individual. Its always INDIVIDUAL who did not have enough comprehention to what is good and what is bad.
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Re: MySpace
What cracks me up about myspace is, all the people who would normally be hanging out on AOL, end up going there. What a steaming pile that place is.
It also has to be one of the most poorly designed and spam ridden websites of all time.
Congrats to whoever owns myspace, you create a real moron-magnet.
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Re: Excesses of the
Yay. My 2 cents to be lost in the shuffle of all these pennies... and I think I saw a dime over there.
Dorpus... you seem to be implying that it should be everyone else's responsibility for what I do.
-When I wake up in the morning late for work, it's the alarmclock maker's fault that the alarm wasn't loud enough.
-When I burn myself on the coffee pot rushing out the door, it's Mr. Coffee's fault for having a hotplate.
-When I'm in too much of a rush backing out of my driveway and nick a neighbor's mailbox, it's the mailbox maker's fault for not making them more damage resistant or the car's manufacturer's fault for not making a warning system
-When I run over some girl's little doggy on my way out of the neighborhood, it's the municipality's fault for not enforcing a stricter leash-law
-When I spill condiments on my clothes from my drive-thru food, it’s the food establishment’s fault for not providing better food packaging that I can use as a plate in the car
Or, maybe... just maybe its:
-My fault for staying up too late the night before or not having the alarm clock closer to my bed
-My fault for not watching what I was doing while putting the coffee pot back on the burner
-My fault for not watching where I was backing
-My fault for not paying attention to the road
-My fault for eating food in a car on the road
It’s sure as hell not the government’s fault for any of this. And shifting the blame back to where it’s supposed to be (me); that’s not going to dissolve the government or civilization and it’s not going to plunge us into anarchy.
I know the examples I put above are nowhere near the severity and level of child molestation. But I molest a child, whose fault is it? It’s mine. That’s all.
I don’t know where we got this idea that everyone in our lives has to monitor what we do and serve as a conscience for us. Aren’t we supposed to be capable of, and responsible for, our own moral decisions? Doesn’t it strike anyone as worrisome that we seem to be giving other people control over what we shouldbe considering as right and wrong?
Maybe if the government wasn’t so damned busy answering the misplaced and unnecessary call of the irresponsible and the self-proclaimed blameless… maybe they could move on to fixing other problems that are their responsibility.
The government is what we make it and what we allow it to become. Holy sh** have we screwed something up somewhere.
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Re: Excesses of the
I wouldn't call it "laziness". I'd call it "responsibility to the reponsible". Tools and services are hardly to blame for someone's malicious intent. If you think the tools/services *are* to blame, start with vehicles, airplanes, knives, rocks, laundry detergent, pieces of paper, insecticide, and condoms because they ALL can be used for purposes they weren't intended for.
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Re: Excesses of the
Gun owners != rednecks. Get your prejudices and generalizations straight dufus^H^H^H^Horfus.
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No Subject Given
Kids will be Kids, they will make mistakes and if they have half a brain they will learn from them. A Parent is supposed to be actively involved in what their child is doing up to a certain point. The child needs his/her independence too and if you haven't failed as a Parent your child will not be one of the ones getting molested through MySpace.com. I'm not going to tell you how to raise your child, because if you haven't figured it out by now you never will.
To those who live in their bubble wrapped world...shit happens, and shit happens to your children! They may die, they may get in a car wreck 10 minutes from now and be thrown 100 yards from their car still holding onto the stearing wheel while their car(that brand new BMW you got for them for their 16th birthday) goes up in flames. Shit happens, but you can use some common sense and think back to when you were 16 and what you would have done on your 16th birthday with the brand new Corvette with 500 HP your parents got you and the dime bag a friend brought over with a 12 pack of beers on a long lonely highway. I didn't get a car until I was 18 years old, not because my parents didn't have the money, or because they didn't approve of my grades. Before being handed the keys to the ol'clunker I had to tell my Dad the names of 3 people in my class who died in a car wreck during highschool. I could have easily told him 10 names. Out of those 10, there were several thousand who survived. To the parents of those 10 children I say this, "Should've said no like my parents did, and they would be here today with me". I'm almost certain I would have died if I had been in a car back then because at that age I was an irresponsible little shithead, and my parents knew it.
I bet at your child's funeral you will probably think, "maybe i should've gotten him the mercedez instead of the beamer".
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Re: It's called PARENTING
People need to realize children are a GIFT, not a BURDEN or a RESPONSIBILITY. You are given that gift for a time, but in time that child will grow up to make decisions of their own. Just my $.02
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old subject
The same people who don't believe that MySpace shouldn't be held accountable are the ones who are infringing on the rights of gun owners. It's the same argument. Should Boeing be sued for making available the airplanes that were flown into the Twin Towers?
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Re: But it's true...
Pull your head out of your ass. It's just another site for people to meet. How the hell is myspace any different from any other public meeting place or park? Adults and children in the same place at the same time. Do we blame the city when a pedophile attacks a kid in a public park? NO. First we blame the attacker THEN we blame the parents for not keeping an eye on the kids. Those are the only two parties resp for what happened. I wish people would quit trying to pass the resp of parents for their children on to other people or organizations.
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Re: Excesses of the
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Re: It's called PARENTING
Jim D.:
You're right and wrong... A child is a gift... no argument there. But it is also a responsibility. Bringing a child into this world gives you the responsibility to make sure that the child is a self-sufficient and responsible member of society.
When this discussion talks about whose responsibility it is, we're talking about whose responsibility it is to monitor your children. Yours or service-providers.
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Myspace
I agree.... I have 15 year old son that is not aloud to go on my space. It is up to the parents to watch there children. They need to take responsibility and stop blaming everyone else.
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Re: Excesses of the
In the same vein as teaching my children proper use of the internet, I have also taught my 8 year old how to handle a .22. He put's a lot of older hunters to shame. As far as living with the consequences, gun safety is no different than driving an automobile. Matter of fact, driving is more dangerous. A child can handle a firearm under supervision just fine. Under supervision and with proper training, the risk of anyone getting hurt is extraordinarily low. Lower than him riding is bike in the neighborhood. Same with the internet, with proper supervision, I'm not worried about predators preying on my children via the web.
Someone shooting him at the range or in the woods? What about someone running my kid over while he's on his bicycle? Again, that's has a greater probability of happening than him getting shot.
By the way, did you ever hear of a "redneck's" kid getting shot? Most accidental shootings you hear about aren't by BillyBob Redneck, but by slick willies who don't take proper precautions, have no training in firearm safety and don't bother ingraining proper gun safety with their children...
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handguns were once new technology
we're still blaming guns for ills of the world. why not blame myspace technology as well?
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Re: Seems MySpace needs to invest in some moderato
Are you kidding me? Of course law enforcement has the ability to monitor that kind of stuff...that's exactly the problem. Do you really WANT them using that ability? Its this whole same issue as the Bush wiretapping thing. Of course the technology exists by now. That's not even the question. The problem is, SHOULD they be doing that? I mean, sure I realize it can seem like a good idea in a world where a 2 working parent household is becoming a must, to have law enforcement checking up on your kids and any potential criminal/terrorists that might hurt them or you. But you must understand the power you are giving up to them by doing so. It can only lead to a big brother type society.
It dumbfounds me that people are willing to accept the arguement that the whole bush wiretapping thing isn't a problem because "he didn't break the law." WAKE UP PEOPLE!!!! They made this place a democracy for a REASON! maybe that reason is so that the common people can change the laws if they realize that a new law is needed, or realize that an old law is bad. So many people seem content to equate illegal to wrong and legal to right. right and wrong is not the same as legal or illegal. Take the issue of legalizing marijuana. Have you seen the anti-marjiuana ads lately? Have you noticed that their biggest consequence that they use to scare kids is the fact that you can get busted? What the hell is going on when the biggest justification for considering something "bad" is the fact that you are breaking the law. If trouble with the law is the worst consequence of an action, then what exactly makes it so wrong that it needed to be outlawed in the first place? (other than a persons religous belief, but our government is supposed to be independent of those, remember?)
As far as the arguement about the parents not being able to lock kids out because the kids are more technically advanced with computers, that, also, is crap. I'm a computer whiz. Always was, Always will be. My parents never had any way to lock me out of anything. They never even tried, because they knew they had no chance. Did I go around breaking laws and getting in trouble on the internet? No. Why? because my parents were focused on raising me with proper judgement from long before I was old enough to type or use a mouse. This is what is meant by "good parenting", not just locking them out of things, but educating them. Like the guy who gave his kid a gun. He didn't just lock it up and hide it away, he put it right in his face, and said "this is locked for a reason, it's dangerous, you must always be careful with these things."
Have you noticed our society has been caught in circular logic with this problem? The more we deny our own responsibility for our childrens upbringing, blaming it on external factors instead, the more out of whack our society gets. The more out of whack our society gets, the more external factors we look for to blame it on. It's just like every other problem a human being faces in life. Until he/she accepts that it's at least partially his/her own fault, that person gets nowhere in correcting the problem. That old cliche still rings true. Maybe it's your fault, maybe it's not. Maybe it's both. But if it's not your fault, it doesn't matter. Because the only part of the world you can really change is YOURSELF. End of story.
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Re: Excesses of the
Not quite a true analogy. Malls hire security guards and the mall with the best security probably gets more business than those with lax security because more parents will allow there children to go with a group of other children.
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Re: handguns were once new technology
I'm curious though, I have a freshman in highschool. He knows a small percentage of his classmates. If he wants to socialize and meet more people, his school is full of them. Why does any teenager need to go to a website social club to meet more people?
I don't mind my kids chatting online w/ people they know from the neighborhood or from school, but meeting online, even anonymously as a teenager has too many risks with in my estimation little to no redeeming value to the teenager. Those sites should restrict usage to 18 or 21 year olds and up.
Someone please help me understand what I'm missing.
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Re: It's called PARENTING
Thank you Mr. Grey. After reading a few of these posts I'm left feeling a bit ill. I have 2 children who want to learn everything they can about the world wide web, play games on line, and chat with friends. Luckily for them, my wife, and myself I'm a seasoned computer professional. I have this to say: 1. Read Mr. Grey's post again and again until it inspires change in you. This change when in action will enroll others in the process of loving our children not ignoring them and thinking they're more powerful than us as parents. 2. If you don't know how to properly "lock" down or secure a PC from immature surfing, ask for help, get advice, turn it off and unplug the sucker from the outlet and lock up the cord. Do something that tells your kids that "this is my pc and until I know how to work safely with it no one uses it." I say this because irresponsible use of a PC causes virus distribution, data corruption, and in some cases intentional personal harm. This should not happen, it's only a PC and you are only a human using it. Take responsibility for your own actions and see that you share time with your children while they surf, ask questions, be there, and moderate. 3. Make a list of all the sites, projects, clubs, and buddies that your child interacts with online. You will be aware, if you do this with compassion and be a stand for this process your children will give you their trust. Trust is something given, your children don't have to give it if they don't want to, it's up to them so what will you do about that. Thanks again Mr. Grey for taking a stand for parents to pull themselves up and be great for their kids. My heart goes out to those parents lost amidst 2-3 jobs, not much time, and high levels of frustration with not meeting goals because of their busy schedule, as I said, those who need it ask for help from those who you will give your trust to.
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Re: No Subject Given
myspace has a way to report people with bad posts, you just email the hosts and they will investigate, if somebody has a nude picture, they will delete the account. period. they track your ip address too so if you keep making bad profiles they won't even let you start a new one.
they have some precautions... besides you have to be legal age to join.... if you are younger then you violate some of their contracts and then it is the user's fault again.
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Re: Excesses of the
So it sounds to me like you'd be an advocate of blaming the gun that shot someone to death. hmmmm, what's the difference between the murderer who uses a gun to commit his crime and the rapist who uses an online service to hoodwink unsuspecting neophants into forcible sexual acts? If this is what you are saying, please .... don't ever lobby in my state.
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Re: It's called PARENTING
Bologna.
Children are people. As individuals they have their own personalty and thought processes. If by being a overly controlling parent you rise a crop of followers blindly excepting orders from you as children and then from any and all authority figures as adults. You've sucseeded only in rising sheep.
To become complete adults all children need to be given the opportunities to make their own decisions and take responsibility for themselves. Sometimes that road can be rocky, but they must be given the freedom to earn your trust.
Thats not to say parenting a very important part of a child's development but even the best parent can rise a bad seed and poor ones a wonderful person.
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Re: But it's true...
The biggest problem is that everyone is ready to place the blame elsewhere. In the world toady parents better play catch up and know what is going on with their kids. Not the free enterprise industries. They are not the parents.
When you choose to be a parent it is a serious commitment and so few do any parenting. Be responsible for your actions and those of your children. The blame is on the parent and the child who thought they knew it all. The parent is supposed to help the child. Parent is a ull time job from birth to on their own.
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Re: But it's true...
If you get rid of MySpace other sites will just pop up. Think of Napster. Parents need to know what their kids are doing and kids need rules and boundries. Kids aren't born into the world knowing what is right and wrong... parents need to take the time to teach them these things. You can't keep a kid from making the wrong decision but you can set a good groundwork of what to base their decisions on when you are not around.
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