Disagreements About Video Game Addictions
from the not-quite-there dept
We've seen plenty of stories about psychologists claiming there was a problem with people being "addicted to video games", but now some actual research is being done, and one psychologist is saying that video games are no more addictive than school or work. That is, unlike alcohol or drugs, there's no chemical dependency issue - it's a self-created addiction. However, plenty of video game players describe themselves as addicted, and that's good enough for many psychologists - who point out that self-described video game addicts often end up having "family conflict and romantic failure as a result of their hobby." Of course, one could claim that the family conflict or romantic failures made the person retreat more into the video game - or even that both the problems and the excessive video gaming were caused by a third factor. However, it's probably just easier for psychologists to bring in new business by claiming video game "addiction" causes all the problems.
Reader Comments (rss)
(Flattened / Threaded)
No Subject Given
Sounds like the shrinks are getting desperate when they start inventing "addictions" as lame as this. They make the whole field of psychiatry sound like a cult, which it probably is. Hey, what about all the people addicted to oxygen? Something needs to be done to wean them off this dangerous dependency.
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
Re: No Subject Given
I can assure you that shrinks as you call them are not inventing addictions. An addiction to gaming is very real. I am living with an addicted gamer so trust me it is very very real.
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
Re: No Subject Given
The "addiction" does not have to be "chemical," for it to be an addiction. Gambling is not a chemical addiction either, but it sure as hell is an addiction and can lead to destructive, irreparable financial and family damage! So can the ADDICTION to video games. From someone who is going through this right now, you clearly have never been in the position to deal with it from a loved on - - either that, or you are simply a video game nut yourself! My husband has essentially turned his little psueudo life with his computer and his video games into the priority of his life and I truthfully don't know how long I will be able to remain in a relationship like this. He is on it every single spare second he gets, often staying up ALL night, never coming to bed, or coming to bed at 2-4am in the morning! He can no longer even watch a movie with his family without running to that computer every few minutes to "move the mouse" so he is not kicked off the game! You tell me that's not addictive behavior?! Bullshit!
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
Re: No Subject Given
york hunt is good
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
video game addiction
As was said, video games don't have chemicals that cause addictions, but a non-chemical addiction can be caused. I know this because I became addicited to ffxi. I played over 700 hours in 5 months. Recently I quit because it was hurting other aspects of my life and forced me to realize my own addiction. Main point, video game addiction is possible.
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
addict?
I love videogames. I consider myself an addict. Id rather play games than watch tv or movies. But being addicted to games doesent mean that im antisocial. If anything games have kept me out of trouble because instead of being on the streets during my jr.high and high school years i was always at home playing games. Games didnt make me lazy or antisocial they helped my stay out of trouble.
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
Video Game Addiction
I can tell you from personal experience that Video Game Addiction is real. My husband is addicted to Online games and talks more to the "guys" that he plays with than to me or his 2 children. He knows more about the lives of the "guys" he plays with than what goes on in the day of his own family. He can not sit in the living room and have an evening (not even 1 hour) of spending any time with our kids and talking with them without falling asleep or yelling at them because they interupted his television watching. His idea of entertaining the kids is to pop a movie in and go back to the computer. I have tried to set some boundries with the computer playing such as he can not play it when I am not home because he is not aware of what the kids are doing (our children are young), or to wait until the kids are in bed. These boundries are broken on a day by day basis. The kids and I moved out last year and it took him 2 days to realize we were not at home. He is on the computer less than 5 minutes after he gets home from work until 1-3am. Then gets up a 6-7am to go to work the next day. The only breaks he takes are for the bathroom. Sometimes, he won't even eat dinner with us, he eats it sitting in front of the computer. If that is not an addition, I can't think of one.
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
Re: Video Game Addiction
I know exactly how you feel.My husband spends all his free time on on the computer. His online game is his number 1 priority in Life. I do everything .........besides holding a full time job and going to school part time, I get to clean , cook, take care of the finances , do the yard work .....you name it......the list goes on...!!!
francly I'm feed up with it. Don't get me wrong I'm glad my husband has a hobby......but come on.....Shouldn't your family come first?
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
Re: No Subject Given
When you live with a computer game addict and it is a problem for over 10 years of both of your lives, then you can talk.
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
Re: No Subject Given
aNonMooseCowherd is very confused and needs to seek professional help.
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
Re: No Subject Given
aNonMooseCowherd is indeed very confused and would benefit from some scholarly literature on the merits of psychological study... as a psychologist (and someone who is dealing with a game-addict), I will tell you that video game addictions are very much possible. One can become addicted to just about anything (from video games to working out to drugs). It is in fact a brain chemical thing. In short, video-gaming is associated with a pleasurable release of dopamine within the brain. Your spouses might realize they have a problem, but it's a very hard one to solve. Listen, rats will press a lever to receive the sensation of sexual gratification over pressing a lever and receiving food. They end up dying.
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
Re: Video Game Addiction
Hi Jennifer. My name is Jennifer as well and I am faced with the exact same problem. I have only been married for a year now and my husband plays video games into the wee hours of the morning and plays all evening when he gets home from work. Luckily, I don't have kids yet and don't plan to ever have kids (at least not with him) if he does not change. You may have to make a choice to leave him...it's not ideal for the kids, but it's not worth being miserable. I plan to make a change if he does not quit within the next 6 months. He never helps me with the housework unless I beg or guilt him into it either and my life revolves around him getting to a "save spot". I don't understand why addicts can't see that they are destroying everyone around them. Good luck to you!!!
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
Re: role playing game addiction
My husband's 22 yr old twin sons are addicted to role playing games. They got kicked out of college after one semester because of it. They've lost several jobs because they play the game all night. They've lost apartments and got kicked out of their Mom's house (she raised them) because they refuse to do anything else. They're beligerent when interrupted from gaming or when asked to be responsible about doing chores or taking care of their finances. As their stepmom, I took all the games and locked them in the attic for months, when they were with us. They sulked and slept for months, when they returned to their Mom they were agreeable while they were "off" the games for a couple of months. When the games were returned the irresponsible behavior returned. The twin with us was facing going to a homeless shelter or living on the streets when we took him in. Yesterday we went to this Mom's to get his games because he said he wanted to sell them at a game store. When he returned he was surly and refused to tell me how much money he received to pay off his overdue bills. When I located the receipt later it showed that he got $242 for the games in a "store Credit" and promptly redeemed it for a $199 new gaming device.
The store owner told me he could have taken 1/5 less than the $242 in CASH. ($198) My stepson says it is "none of your business" and I don't have to tell you anything. He lives with us for free and owes over $500 in back bills that we know of and threatened that he'd 'rather die by freezing than go to a homeless shelter." Yeah all of us in the family think the twins have an addiction to gaming that is ruining their life. I told his mother, come spring we are setting him out on his own with his $500 tax refund. Last year we housed both young men in an apartment we own for 8 months. They put in one job application in the 8 months, slept till 3 - 5 in the afternoon, kept the apartment like a pigsty and fought with each other and were rude to us. I've had it.
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
addiction sucks
im addicted to video games. im typin this with my PSP. my eyes hurt alot. i also get massive headaches. ive already spent $3000+ on games. i bought 20 games this month. im getting worse. im 17yrs old. yep.
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
"addiction"
In almost any of the above, one could replace "gaming" with "drinking", "stamp collecting", "rock climbing", "tiddly-winks", or "molecular biology".
If a person wants / needs to run from his / her life, they'll find a way.
The inanimate object is usually not to blame. A close examination of the person and what they're trying to escape is what's in order, not a new Temperance Movement.
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
One part missing
Yeah, it may be very hard to stop playing and cause withdrawl from everything else. However, the one part of addiction that is not there is the inability to function without. Has anyone waken up with the "shakes" after quitting video games?
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
Re: One part missing
Good question about actual "withdrawl" symptoms after quitting games. Recently a doctor, I believe it was in AZ. had a 17 year old patient who proclaimed himself to be "addicted to video games". After talking with the doctor they proceeded into his office where there was a computer. As soon as the patient saw it, he beagan to shake, get sweaty, and nervous. He had such an urge just to get on the computer. Withdrawl? I would say so. This is not an urban legend, heard it on the news last week.
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
im addcited, and when forcedly seperated from my prescios games i need to play them, then even tv is borring nothing but to game,
then if anybody toches my precsis games they would get hurt, my roommate broke all 12 of my ps2 games as a joke..i beat the living crap out of him and almost killed him..now im in a single dorm(which i like)
now i love being addcited to games cause
during classes when i focus on them i memorylize the lessons faster,
when i concintait on diffrent things i focus more,
now say what u wanna say, but its my choice to be like this, any body can stop it its just the freame of mind. i just dont wanna iv always been a lone gamer since growing up, and am going on to be a preogranmor for a game company so it has not ruined my life it has helped it. so soon i will be up all night on some companys computer programming some new game and getting paid.
excuse the grammor and spelling my keybored is messed up.
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
noobs
notice how all the people complaining about addictions are the wives of people.. maybe they are trying to escape from u.. i can understand how they would jugding by ur posts rofl
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
married to a video game addict
Wow, it's so comforting to know that there are other people going through this as well. I never thought that I would be married one day and feel more alone in my marriage than I did single. I am running the household by myself. All of the responsibilities fall on my shoulders now - billpaying, daily dishes, cooking, pet care, even caring for my husband and making sure he goes to work on time. Like many of you have mentioned, it has started interfering with his ability to take care of himself and he is barely home for a few minutes before the computer goes on. And, when it's off, it's all he talks about. Even at work, he can't focus on his job because he's thinking about new strategies to try or the social dynamics, or the economics of the game. I even tried to get into the game, thinking that if I shared his hobby that at least I'd get to spend some time with him. Oh, and forget trying to talk to him on the phone while he's playing... Before this game addiction, it was internet porn addiction. I don't know what to do.
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
from the husband's perspective
Surfing the internet is not a good way to get over gaming addiction ;)
I am the husband you woman are talking about. I am addicted to video games and am looking for a way out. It's not so much an addiction to video games as it is to computers in general. Like right now--sure, I'm not wasting life on a video game, instead I'm googling how to quit video games and typing a message on a thread I've never seen before. It's a tricky thing.
Life is good, I'm married to a wonderful woman, own a house, make good money at my job, have two cars and a motorcycle in my garage, yet here I am, googling "quitting video games" after just playing for 3 hours straight. I have my first child on the way, and I can't do this any longer.
I tried quitting multiple times, selling all my stuff, playing chess as my "one game", the list goes on and on. It comes in cycles, sometimes I do good, then there's weeks where all I do is game. World of Warcraft was the worst. I averaged 50 hours a week, on top of a 40 hour job and school. Sleep was not an option, niether was hygene--too much time wasted. WoW was the first game I played 24 hours straight, I only got up to pee and ate at my desk.
Everywhere I go there's computers, and I have to be on them. Work productivity suffers as I'm checking all the latest forums I belong to, or find some online game.
Well, I'm going to exercise some restraint, and get off this computer. I just wanted to let you know the other side of the story. Perhaps we should start an online Computer Anonymous--DOH!
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
My husband is ADDICTED! He plays the game every single waking moment. It has forced me to suggest seperation. I am 30, is 31. We have a 2 year old daughter.
She hardly ever spends time with dad, unless she is sitting on his lap while he is playing the game.
Maybe if we seperate, he would value the time he spends with her.
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
I am married to "gadget man". In the last 8 months his newses obsession is XBox live. He's curtailed the computer used and now substitutes LIVE gaming.
No matter how much I tell him it is affecting his life with me and our 2 daughters he won't give it up.
Last week I finally had a melt-down and I thought I finally got thru to him. Tonight you can stick a fork in me because I AM DONE!
I told him I don't mind if he plays -- but last night he missed dinner with us because he was playing. Today he came home on his lunch break and played and then after work. I am so frustrated. His excuse is that his buddy can only play certain times and "it happens to be during our time".
My husband is leaving for IRAQ in September and I can honestly say I can't wait.
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
Re:
I am a producer with a new talk show debuting this
fall in New York City. I'm doing research on video game/ internet
addictions. If you are experiencing this or know someone who is, I would love to talk to you. If you are fed up with your spouse / partner's addiction we would love to speak to you as well.
This could be your chance to share your story with the rest of America and receive advice from our host (a licensed psychiatrist).
Feel free to call me at our toll free number:
1.888.372.2569 (ext. 4294), or you can email me at
newnytalkshow@yahoo.com.
Thank you!!!
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
I am a producer with a new talk show debuting this
fall in New York City. I'm doing research on video game/ internet
addictions. If you are experiencing this or know someone who is, I would love to talk to you. If you are fed up with your spouse / partner's addiction we would love to speak to you as well.
This could be your chance to share your story with the rest of America and receive advice from our host (a licensed psychiatrist).
Feel free to call me at our toll free number:
1.888.372.2569 (ext. 4294), or you can email me at
newnytalkshow@yahoo.com.
Thank you!!!
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
Re: from the husband's perspective
I am a producer with a new talk show debuting this
fall in New York City. I'm doing research on video game/ internet
addictions. If you are experiencing this or know someone who is, I would love to talk to you. If you are fed up with your spouse / partner's addiction we would love to speak to you as well.
This could be your chance to share your story with the rest of America and receive advice from our host (a licensed psychiatrist).
Feel free to call me at our toll free number:
1.888.372.2569 (ext. 4294), or you can email me at
newnytalkshow@yahoo.com.
Thank you!!!
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
video game addiction
I dated a man for over a year who is clearly addicted to ffxi. He's "been a gamer his whole life" and I understood that (he's 44). No problem, he loved to play G.R.A.W. with a bunch of guys for a couple of hours every day. When xbox 360 was coming out he raided his 401k and spent about $10,000 on a 50" LCD tv and top of the line speakers that are only sold to the trade. Still, no problem. Then he bought the beta disk for ffxi, now we had a problem. He started off with just a couple of hours like the other games. Soon he wasn't coming to bed with me at night. He'd play until 4-5 in the morning, get up around 8:30 and start again. I can't tell you how many hours I've spent watching him play that stupid game. I think he's now up to anywhere from 12 -16 hours a day. He used to work 8-10 hours a day now when I call he's playing "the game". It's usually around 11:30 a.m. To top it off he plays primarily with one person, a female. He says she's old enough and has kids but she plays as many hours as he does. I've asked him several times about the time he spends with her on line and he just becomes extremely irate and yells. We recently broke up over it. I was driving him nuts because he played all the time. I even got on the game so we could spend time together, but I'm not a "gamer" so I would just frustrate him. He would rather play with the other female. He would spend more time with her in a day than we would spend together in a week. He has an 11 year old son who is either on the other xbox or watching him play that stupid game. We've had many confrontations over this and I just can't believe that someone would choose fantasy over reality. My self esteem was shot I was demoralized and still I kept going back. My entire family and friends think he's a whacko but they think I'm a bigger one for going back. I'm considered to be very attractive and have lots of friends who think I'm great. I get along with just about everyone except the man I fell in love with. He chose fantasy over me in the game and with someone who's gamer tag is named after a neopet. Go figure!
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
Re: No Subject Given
Just so you know, a psychologist is not the same as a psychiatrist. Psychologists get a 4-year degree, usually a BS in psychology and may go on for future schooling. Physiatrists get a 4-year degree and then go to another 4 years of medical school and then more time in training specializing in Psychiatry. There is a huge difference between what each may do in their scope of practice as well. Side note: My roommate is currently addicted to World of Warcraft, and has been for over 7 months now. He never leaves the home, plays the game at least 7 hours a day, gets to work late and comes home early just to play the game and some days doesn't sleep just to play. On these days, he calls in sick and plays the game some more. It has drastically affected his personal life. He pretty much qualifies as an addict. Here is one definition of addiction http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/addiction.
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
mother's addicted
Hi my names Lindsey. I'm almost 16. My mother works often and when shes not working shes playing her computer game. she's too busy on her game to shop, and so i am stuck without food all day. and when she comes home she promisees in thiry minutes we'll go get food. she said that to me today at 6:47. It is now 9:34, and she is still playing. This is an addiction!!! I feel very alone. I hate that stupid game! I hate all the games she becomes addicted to. I'm not addicted to anything and i'm 16. she's 35 years old. I'm not ready to take care of myself fully. I'm not driving yet and I can't get a job. IT SUCKS!!!!. I often think about deleting her game while she's gone or deleting her account. But I'm too scared to. I do the housework around here with my grandma. My mother pays my grandma to come clean. my mom hasn't done a scrap of house work in forever......UGH!!!!!!!!! I HATE SUMMER
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
Re: Video Game Addiction
I am also a wife who has a husband addiction to Play Station 2. He likes computer games, but I must say most of his time is spent on tv video games. Just like other wives I've read about, all his "spare" time is spent doing what he wants to do, which, at this time in life, is playing on Playstation 2. I remember one of their adds was "Live in your world, play in ours". Well, they know exactly how to teach them to play, but they obviously don't know how to teach them to live. I have thought of everything. I went through the, "maybe it's me", or "what can I do to make his life better/easier". Basically, I came up with every excuse or reason to justify his playing. Well, enough!!!! He is simply addicted. He's got it great at home and he's even said it himself. However, what he won't say or see is that he is addicted to playing video games. I'm at the stage now where I truly believe he requires either medical counselling or spiritual counselling. I'm not angry with him, I am frustrated with the whole situation. This is a pattern with him. It's just that now it's video games. He has all the necessities anyone would want in life. Most of all he has a beautiful son and a wife who does everything. Maybe that's it. Maybe we make it to comfortable for them that they feel playing is not taking them away from anything because the wives could and will take care of everything. At this point, I have no choice, except to keep on going or get out. What should I do??
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
Room Mate Addicted!!!!!!!
Wow i didnt know so many ppl had troubles with other being addicted to video games. I have the same problem. My room mate is addicted to video games, everytime i c him he is always playing his stupid video games. He works and stuff but other than that he is always playing video games, he nvr goes out with his friends or anything.
I think its a disease and needs to be cured.
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
Room Mate Addicted!!!!!!!
Wow i didnt know so many ppl had troubles with other being addicted to video games. I have the same problem. My room mate is addicted to video games, everytime i c him he is always playing his stupid video games. He works and stuff but other than that he is always playing video games, he nvr goes out with his friends or anything.
I think its a disease and needs to be cured.
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
Room Mate Addicted!!!!!!!
Wow i didnt know so many ppl had troubles with other being addicted to video games. I have the same problem. My room mate is addicted to video games, everytime i c him he is always playing his stupid video games. He works and stuff but other than that he is always playing video games, he nvr goes out with his friends or anything.
I think its a disease and needs to be cured.
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
Room Mate Addicted!!!!!!!
Wow i didnt know so many ppl had troubles with other being addicted to video games. I have the same problem. My room mate is addicted to video games, everytime i c him he is always playing his stupid video games. He works and stuff but other than that he is always playing video games, he nvr goes out with his friends or anything.
I think its a disease and needs to be cured.
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
cheating husband
It is comforting to see that I am not the only person having a problem with a computer gaming addict. My husband plays 24/7. we don't eat meals together or do anything else together for that matter. He sits in front of his computer in his underwear playing games with strangers (lately, a lot of women), He too is up all night, sleeps very little, is unemployed,Does absolutely nothing to help around the house,Doesn;t play with his toddler, can't keep appointments,you get the picture. The thing that hurts the most is that he enjoys the company of these gamer whores so much.He laughs and smiles and talks so nice to them. We don't even talk anymore. I am completely ignored because I am not a gamer. He I don't have anything left to say to him.I don't even sleep in the same room with him anymore because of his erratic hours and all my resentment toward him. Does anyone else think that hanging out online with women who are'nt your wife is a form of infidelity, or is it just me? I'm ready to leave.
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
Re: married to a video game addict
I am really sorry you are going through what you are. My situation sounds eerily similar. I am convinced that these people never get better. They just can't deal with reality.My husband is addicted to internet porn as well. You can't cure them of that one either.. I really think that you either learn to live with it, or move on. I for one am at the point where I'm ready to go. I don't want him as a role model for our son.Best wishes to you.Have courage.
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
my husband just signed my 7 year old son up for ga
I too am a wife with a husband who chooses to spend a significant amount of time each day gaming. It appears to be a cycle that we have been going through since shortly after we married (maybe even before)--but its gotten worse with onine gaming. We've been through EQ, Air Warrior, WOW, some others I've forgotten and now the latest is Eve. It's really frustrating because sometimes he'll admit that it's a problem and then other times, when he's in the throes of the game, if I even suggest it, he baffles me with some bs about how he has a community of friends, that it's not THAT much time, and, my personal favorite, why don't I appreciate what he DOES do. I know he's going through a period of depression right now and it's not my place to dictate how he spends his time. With that said, I do however feel very strongly that I DO NOT WANT my son to develop the same "affinity" for gaming. I don't object to some of the PS/2 games that are have a definite end point--however I just can't get on board with him playing Eve or any other online game with his dad for several hours a day. My husband and I are currenlty fighting about this but I have no intention of backing down--my son is too important to me to start this potentially downward spiral before he's even 8! I've suggested that they find something else to do together--perferrably something that is not in the basement, maybe even outside.
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
Even if the addiction is not caused by a chemical reaction, it is still an addiction. Ironically, the so-called "crazy" pyschologists have facts to support their rantings. Maybe you should have some scientific research to back up your claims? Video game addiction is a real problem, some people are to addicted to see the truth. :)
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
Through
15 yrs together, college for both, paid our own way, masters degree for her in Social Work. 34yrs old, started playing Halo last year. = 15 years down the drain, 8 years of marriage, and dreams you wont ever see. All due to 700+ hours of time playing Halo in 6 months. Unfortunately, you still being the one in love will be the one starting the divorce. Stay strong, and get some help to help you through.
Signed,
Broken Dreams
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
Re: noobs
You must be about 12 years old. You have no idea what you are talking about. It does not effect wives only. I am 36 year old man currently seperated from my wife because I gave boundries of online gaming. She crossed those lines and I moved out. My 2 childrren are now being neglected by this game addict. If she does'nt open her eyes very soon, she will be loosing these kids at our divorve hearing. Tell me this, Is the chance of loosing your children less important than a video game? Sure she is escaping from life, but this is a serious problem that can be cured. Like any addiction the person addicted is hurt last. Oh well, it may seem funny to you now (rofl) but when you grow up you'll understand. Besides, why are you contributing information on this site?
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
Re:
Im sorry to hear your situation, I'm in the same boat, just reversed. My wife is the addict (not in her eyes of course). We have been seperated for 3 months now, and I fear things have gotten worse. Now she doesnt have me to make "rules" about game time. My girls tell me she falls asleep at the computer, and they find her there in the morning before school. When I comment about this she gets extremly defensive, most addicts are in denial. Good luck to you :)
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
Re: video game addiction
whats the female players characters name, could be my wife.
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
Re: married to a video game addict
This is an update: I've left my husband. We're just separated for now, but I had to do something. The more that I tried to talk to him about cutting back on the hours played, the more defensive he'd get. He'd even insult me. "The game is the only thing that makes me feel good right now. My life is so hard. Why can't you understand that I need this?" Why can't he turn to me, if he wants support? Then, it was as if he was doing me a favor by spending time with me. If we spent 2 hours together one day on the weekend, "we spent a ton of time together." Unfortunately, I don't consider being in the same room while he plays the game, "time together" so I disagree. I love my husband. I love the way he is without the game, without an addiction. I moved out two weeks ago. I think this is the right path for me, though my heart longs for him, I can't condemn myself to feeling so neglected the rest of my life. And, even if this addiction stops, there will be others. It's too bad he is in denial. And, it's a shame that he refused marriage counseling with me. That was the last straw. Shouldn't a man be willing to try anything to keep his wife from leaving him? I never thought I'd get divorced, especially not a year and a half into the marriage! It hurts so much. I don't want to have to start over again.
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
selfish disease
My husband is like most mentioned here. Along with his "gaming"(I hate that term) he's a heavy drinker. We have 2 children, 12 and 4. He dosen't spend with any of us. I've become bitter, so he says I'm the one with the problem. I think he knows that financially I can't leave so he does whatever he wants. He is selfish and getting away with. I've set limits, made threats, cried, gained weight(from depression over his neglect). I don't kow what else to do, my options are limited and he knows it!!!!
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
anonymous coward?
If people would like to remain anonymous in this thread I don't think they should be referred to as cowards. Mabe you could find another way to LABEL them?
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
Re: Video Game Addiction
I am so excited to have found this website. I really thought it was only me out there, with a man who does this EVE game constantly.
I am engaged to a wonderful 36 year old genius man, who owns his own companies. He works from home doing financial/stock trading. There is a lot of down time in between trading etc. He used to use that time to cook-an old passion of his, do laundry-garden etc. NOW for the past year, he plays EVE. The game is an addiction in every way. To hear other woman and men say their significant others are also Up into all hrs of the night, escaping, its compforting. I have seen a social fun person, turn into a shut in! He never leaves the house, and the arguing we have because he wont get OFF THE GAME! Is horrible. what it does to the spouse who is left alone all the time to entertain yourself, makes you feel like your single but without the benefits of being single!
He plays until 3am, falls asleep on the couch after playing and doesnt come up to bed.SO now we arent even married and he sleep in another room!
He has gained a ton of weight, he has developed Alopesia-hair loss in one spot! His diet is disgusting. he literally makes a quick meal and takes it in there!
what do you do, when you've told him you have 3 months get it together, or I'm canceling the wedding. You cancel the wedding, and he still plays!
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
Re: Re: No Subject Given
No offense meant but you do not have the facts regarding a psychologist. A psychologist has a Bachelor's degree, a Master's degree and then has to obtain a Ph.D. You are looking at around ten years of schooling and training. You are seriously off base .
Gayland
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
Re: Re: No Subject Given
Me too. It is an addiction. I'm about ready to take the ps2 outside and smash it to pieces. :)
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
Re: Re: Video Game Addiction
at least you KNOW how he is before you marry him!!! be thankful for that! my husband's addiction didn't start until after we've been married 2 years..
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
Stuck in the living room
My son is struggling with 2 loves his girl friend and his video games. He recently withdrew from a prestigious college due to panic attacks, was hospitalized and is now not leaving the house much. playing video games all day. The and his girlfriend are talking about marriage! I love him but feel sorry for her. I do know that the definition of an addiction is when it interferes with life needs and requirements like working, school, family attention, and the happiness of people around you. I am hurt often, cry often and want him to get help.
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
Alone and unhappy
My husband is addicted to EVE and plays it for up to 16 hours a day. It interfere's with our family life and much responsibility for the children and home falls on me. (He is unemployed, retired and I work full time). Not only do I put in full hours at a physically demanding job, I am working full time in the home as well. EVE has taken over my husband's life and has made our relationship extremely strained. He has been playing for 6 months now and I've had enough. I have told him my concerns, he denies a problem, so next I am seeing a lawyer.
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
Husband just beginning
My husband plays an awful lot too. Not as much as many of the others posted about but still quite a bit. Its been this way for over 2 years now. It used to be his PS2. When I was pregnant with our first child I went to bed alone more than not because he would stay up so late to play his games. Back then he was working very long hours so it was hard to have anytime between work and his games. Now he has graduated to online games because we have better internet service and my family actually turned him on to it. I do go rounds with him over it too. Most of the time I try to cut him some slack but I do have to admit, it leaves me very lonely. Our little girl is a year old now and we have another baby on the way. I wish he would see our need for his time as much as his pets and guild on the game.
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
It could be chemical
I believe video game addictions are real. Many people on here have said that this is not really an addiction as it is not chemical but have they not thought about the chemicals that the body produces. video games can be enjoyable and can possibly cause the body to produce chemicals (such as endorphins) and it is these chemicals that people are becoming addicted to and therefore they need to play the video games to get the body to produce these chemicals.
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
Apparently, some people don't realize the damage that these games can do to ones relationships and health...it gets to be an addiction when the person cannot stop playing it to use the restroom, to eat, or to even sleep....(whoever gave those shrinks a degree really need to re-evaluate it)
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
ARE VIDEO GAMES ADDICTIVE?
I have been online for over two hours doing research on video games addicts. Although, I am not a psychologist I've come to believe vidoe games are not addictive. After reading a large number of articles and observing my boyfriend, my brothers, and some of their friends I feel that it is the individual who is addictive. It might sound crazy but certain individuals have addictive personalities and sometimes it is caused by underlying factors, such as depression or just simply being bored. These individuals are prone to becoming addictive to whatever brings them the pleasureable release of dopamine, unless they learn to control the urge. So yes, a person can become a video game addict but I think the problem lies in the individual not in the game itself. My research is extremely premature, so please let me how u feel and how my theory, might be wrong or right.
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
Re: Re: Video Game Addiction
I can totally understand that computer gaming is addictive, just as gambling can be addictive. But I have said myself many MANY times over the last 10 years that I'll give him1, 3, 6 months more to change AND GUESS WHAT? HE NEVER HAS. Whenever I need something done it's always "just 5 minutes till I can save" and you know it's never "just 5 minutes".
My husband does nothing but go to work, play his computer, eat, shit and sleep. Thankfully we don't have, and never will have children. As soon as he gets home from work (in IT, so he's on a computer ALL DAY) I get a quick kiss and then he's off to his study to "get changed" (this means take off his shoes, turn on his computer and make sure the net is up). He makes an apperance when his dinner is ready, eats in record time then is back to his study and on the computer again. He makes another appearence a few hours later for his nightly toilet trip and then spends a few more hours on the stupid thing before going to bed. Every day is like this. Weekends he sleeps till noon, plays games unitl it's too late to help around the house or yard, eats etc... and goes to bed somewhere between 2-4am, sometimes not till dawn.When after hints or nagging, he does help me somehow he makes such a fuss about it and always wants thanks, like he's done me a favour. Why can't he just be a responsible adult and accept some responsibilty for the care of our home, and even more OUR RELATIONSHIP. I rarely go to bed with him, and have generally got so used to him not being around I'm not all that sure I want him to change anymore. I certainly don't like him anymore and am sick to death of coming off second best to a machine.
Having said all this, I just want to make a point that computer addiction is real and is ruining relationships.
I resent my husband spending hours talking to strangers and playing games with them when he virtually ignores me and my needs. He even once told me that he couldn't stop what he was doing because "he didn't want to let his guild down!"
He gets crabby and irritable when he can't play for an extended period of time - just like I do without a cigarette - so those of you who think this is not a real addiction - try living a day in my shoes and you'll get just how real this is!
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
Re: Video Game Addiction
i am haveing the same problem with my husbend i dont know what to do.
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
Re: Re: Video Game Addiction
Well, I'm a college student and I have to say that yes, they are addictive. I myself used to be a huge world of warcraft player and have since quit for the sake of myself, as i nearly failed my first semester. If anything to all those out there who are dealing with a loved one who is addicted, the only way that mold is going to break is if they realize the addiction. I realized mine when i stopped picking up the phone for friends and family and saw that the one friend i had the most communication with was more addicted than me. When i tried to do school work, or go out with my girlfriend and thought of WoW instead, i knew i had reached my limit. All of you out there with addicted loved ones, try and help them through it the best you can, and just get them to realize just how low they have sunk. And if anything, talk with one another here, email eachother, get into deep contact with people here. This will help you to get through it and by talking to people with similar plights or those who have had it, you can keep your own family and friend relationships going. Don't give up most of all on that person, because anyone can shake an addiction, they just need support.
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
jbhvciscqhvkhvgscjbwdchjbhbcdhjbcdhjbdevbhj
ijbv iuefb uefbuhvb hvb cb hb v874 fhbfbbbv vcberyufvdhjbjvf3o7 87 3 y3ug rhb grhr fb hbf hbvhbfdvb fhbvhbf hb hjbfvhb fjb f h fv h fhbfvuhbvhubvuh bv v
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
wife
My wife has been suffering from depression for about 2 years now. She is a different person now. We have no sexual contact. She has for the last 6 months been addicted to phone games, brick games, computer games, and plays all day until late in the evening. I am at a loss as to know what to do. She will not go to see a doctor, she takes no medication. I have turned into a housewife, shopping, cooking, washing, it would otherwise no get done. I was brought up with a keen sense of responsibility, so I am loked into a very difficult situation. Can anyone with similar problems give any ideas, communication would help. We no longer have anybody to talk to. Friends are very distant since the depression started.
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
Hello all! I am a student and family member of a former video game addict. I have taken a great interest in this area and am working to find advanced treatment methods for video game addiction. Please help me in my efforts by taking my survey.
This study is sponsored by The Center for Survey Research at an anonymous private university in Southern California. The results will be used to help understand how video game addiction affects the lives and family members of those who are inflicted with this illness. In addition, this vital information will help further the understanding and pattern of depression in video game addicts, determining weather it is a beneficial angle of treatment.
All your answers will be kept completely anonymous and confidential. The questionnaire take about 12 minutes. Your participation is voluntary. If you have questions at any time about the survey or the procedures, you may contact Ginny at Ginn182@yahoo.com.
I would like to thank you in advance for your participation. Video game addiction is a devastatingly real challenge for thousands, both for families and addicts themselves, and with your help we may one day begin to better treat this disorder effectively.
Click Here to take the survey
This survey is safe and SPAM FREE
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
Re: Re: married to a video game addict
wow - my hubby says the same thing about it being the only thing that makes him happy etc. I am sorry you are seperated but I truly don't blame you. My hubby is 29 (I am 32) and we have 2 kids and another on the way this fall.
Our marriage is being ruined, he has poor bonding with our 8 yr old son (psychologist even involved its so bad) and mostly due to his excessive online role playing games. I stupidly assumed that when kids came along that someone as intelligent as him would realize that he needed to cut back. HIs idea of spending time with our 2 year old is having her watch tv in the same room that he is playing his stupiud games. Give me a break.
I mean, 1-2 hours per day is fine but he plays 35+ hours per week when he is home from work. I am not even attracted to him anymore. He denies a problem, and has every excuse about how much he plays. He is self-centered and self absorbed. I don't know what to do anymore.
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
Husband's gaming an addiction not an obsession
I too have a video game addicted husband. His 24/7 behavior has led to poor hygiene, he refuses to bathe and brush his teeth for days on end. We keep very different hours...he is up all night and doesn't get up until after noon. I have chosen to stop having a physical relationship with him because of his chosen lifestyle.
After feeling very depressed by our lack of communication, I have started living my own life the way I want to. Tip toeing around his anger and his lifestyle has been limiting mine. His gaming addiction is his problem and only he can fix it. So until I can figure out whether to give up on our relationship or not, I can continue to build my self esteem and live my life fully for me, and not let his addiction become the slippery-slope into depression and co-dependency.
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
Where do you draw the line?
I am interested in some input on this from both sides of the fence...
I am 35 years old, married, with a child on the way. My wife and i have had an on-going disagreement about gaming addiction. Currently I play World of Warcraft 2 nights a week (usally starting at about 8 EST and going to 12). I also occassionally play some evenings if she falls asleep early (I'm just naturally up til about 11:00) or on the weekends (if we're not doing anything better than watching TV, becuase I get bored after about 3 hours or so).
So I guess my question is where do you draw the line between a hobby and an addiction. Since people want to cite the rush of endorphins as a factor, you could also call golf, hunting, going to strip clubs, dirtbiking addictions (and hey, at least gaming is cheaper usually and keeps me at home).
All input welcome
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
Son Lost to EverQuest
This whole gamming addiction thing breaks my heart. I'm 60 years old and I miss my only son. I had such dreams for him that will never happen. He can talk about nothing else but EverQuest gamming and the characters. He has no interest in talking about anything else. That game has become his whole life. If we try to include him in a family get together, he shows up looking like hell, over eats and then disappears to a sofa to "sleep it off",
One day when I called him (on the rare occassion that he answered his phone) he said he had a very bad day. Someone who came to help him, ran the other way and was killed! I was shocked. I thought he was talking about a real person. It was another gammer on EverQuest! I knew then that this was a bigger problem than I realized.
My son told me when he got his new computer, that he was getting a game called EverQuest and that it had a nick name of EverCrack. I said what does that mean. He told me that some people say it is addictive like crack. I said, you know you have a compulsive addictive personality and I would be very careful if I were you about getting involved in something like this.
He went into this with his eyes wide open.
Well, that was 2 years ago. He has gained 100 pounds, his lovely house that he use to be so proud of is falling into disrepair. He HAD a home repair business that he had incorporated. Since this gaming started, he has refused to take on work to support his corporation. He has a job as a cook. He works 32-40 hours there and he heads straight home to play.
You better not try and talk to him when he is on his game (which is about 8 hours a day). He is deceptive and irratable if you query him on things that should be getting done like, paying his taxes! I am honestly afraid that because he is 36 years old that there is no hope for him. He is lost and probably will never return.
The sad part for me is that I feel like my son has died. He has stopped celebrating Christmas, Easter, birthdays, Mother's Day and any other family event. He gets "put out" if we want to celebrate his birthday. I can never count on him for even the slightest of things. I used to get disappointed and depressed. Now, I expect NOTHING and nothing is what I get. At least, I'm not disappointed.
I've had cancer twice and I might as well be a stranger on the street. His grandfather is 82 and would love to just get a call from him on ocassion. He never does anything thoughtful for anyone. He cares about noone and nothing except his gamming.
His father was an alcholic and I lived with him for 16 years and my life was hell. I see in my son the same behavior: (1) He gets angry and blows up easily and he turns it around so that you are the problem. (2) He has let himself go. He looks like a street bum (3) He honestly has lost any feeling for other people (his grandparents, his parents, his siblings, his friends). (3) His whole world is in his game. (4) If you try and tell him to give up the game and choose his family and life, he will say he chooses gamming.
What is going to happen to him when we are all gone and he is left alone in life and all he has is his game? For me as his mother, it is a sad futuristic picture of him and it scares me. He could end up in prison from not paying his personal and corporate taxes, loose his house and car, his freedom, his health, never find love, never have the experience of having children. He reminds me of the cocaine addict who doesn't care if he looses all and even his life; just as long as he has his cocaine.
What is a mother to do? It's very hard to walk way from your son and just stand and watch him throw his life away. But I don't see that there is a thing that I can do to help him.
I think that I might as well admit now that my son is gone, get through the grieving and move forward into a life without him.
If someone has another approach or suggestion, then please share it with me.
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
video game addiction
Video game addiction is a bunch of balony!!!!!{dont know how to spell it)Im a 13 year old boy who gets straight A's, have a lot of friends, and play about 8 hours of video games a day within 2 weeks after i get a new video game. Theres no such thing as a video game addiction!
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
Hmm.. What are the lines
I play video games competitively, like go to LANs (local area network, think of them as a giant tournament where you win money for yourself and your team). I am sponsored by some major companies that are basically in business for competitive gaming, like IceMat and SteelSeries for example.
I play games around 3 hours a day. A solid 3 hours practicing with my team, and then more than that before a tournament. Maybe 5 hours a day tops. I work a part-time job, go to school, do very well in school, and am getting money from two ways now. What's so wrong with that?
Sure, some people play role playing games for way too long. But i think most of the problems are when people get into a role playing game like WoW and play all day long.
Competitive gaming is just breaking through into a whole new area, more and more people are getting interested in it. It's even going to have a Television Program soon on one of the main stations not some like super high "no-one-watches-or-knows-about-it" channel.
I wonder, will doctors go to every LAN competition and make a mass diagnosis to everyone there that they are addicted to video games, then start a huge line for some stupid drug.
Sounds like people are afraid of this electronic evolution, these games are being called e-Sports. Electronic sports, and they really are. They're mostly FPS games, and require extreme hand-eye coordination skills, team work, team chemistry, communication, and you need to develop a natural "flow" of your team that the other guys just can't stop because they're thinking of themselves when you're thinking of the team.
Does that sound just like any other sport, except instead of training at the gym, you train on the computer?
Whatever, i understand where the wives are coming from, and if the guy actually can not stop playing, like he physically just can't do it he will just go right back to it, then i guess get therapy but for the most part people are not addicted to video games. They are a hobby. (unless all hobbies=addictions=need treatment= more money for the people calling them addictions)
(reply to this comment) (link to this comment)
Gaming is Addictive
I, too, am a husband that loves playing video games. I admit, I'm probably addicted. My wife has been telling me she's fed up with my gaming. So, I decided to see if there was anything online about it. I've basically been kind of denying that I have a problem, and saying that my wife should seek happiness in herself rather than asking me to spend more time with her. After all, I'm not really demanding anything from her; why must she demand anything from me?!
As I was reading the posts from the wives side of the story, it was quite interesting to hear that they had the same complaints that my wife was giving me.
I go to work and earn the majority of the money for our household. In fact, after constant nagging, I even started doing household chores such as dishes, laundry, and vacuuming. Doing these household chores, and earning the money, seemed to me like I was holding my end of the duties. What more was there? Why must I be nagged about when to go to sleep? Why must I be nagged about what to spend my time doing? Why can't my wife respect my hobby of playing video games? Men have hobbies [whether sports, golf, fishing, video games, movies, etc. ] and like to do them! Is that so wrong?
The problem with addiction to gambling is that you may lose tons of money and become a bankrupt and broken individual. The problem with alcohol or drugs is that you become physically addicted and become dysfunctional. Further, you have serious mental and physical ailments, aside from inability to perform effectively due to them.
So what's wrong with gaming too much?
1) Time: The whole time-space continuum seems to disappear when you’re playing. It's so much fun that 1 hour seems like 5 minutes. I have literally played some games for over 24 hours straight. This obsessive behavior is what actually made me do well in school. I could actually concentrate on stuff really hard for longer periods than others around me. I was the guy who would stay up all night to study for final exams and do well on 'em. So, I did well in school. At school, I had the smarts to delete addictive games from my computer so I could get back to studying while at school. Now that I'm out of college and in the work force, making decent money, that reason went away. I don't have homework, so I can play all I want at night! (At least, till I got married...)
Anyways, I'm in the IT field, so there are always certifications and other things I could be studying rather than gaming. I could be improving myself. I actually have stepped away briefly to get certifications required for work, but have been going back to gaming as my reward afterward.
Aside,